yesterday my lyft driver had a gps that read off directions in what was obviously some sort of specific customized voice
so i was like ‘hey, why does this sound familiar?’
and he was like ‘oh i downloaded it special. it’s colonel sanders.’
never in my life had a stranger thrown me such a goddamn conversational curveball.
was this an official branded piece of content marketing by kfc? why? why would you go to the trouble of auditioning and hiring a voice actor to impersonate your now-dead founder guiding people onto the i-95, like the world’s least interesting benevolent spirit? colonel sanders was a real dude who is now dead; that is a flipping weird thing for a company to spend money on. is this some misguided corporate attempt to try to revamp his image, like ‘yeah he was a plantation-y southern gentleman and symbolically there’s no way it’s not at least a little racist to glorify him but look…he did just help you get to ikea’
on the other hand, if it’s not affiliated with the company that raises SO MANY MORE questions, like who did this? does colonel sanders have some sort of underground fan community? was there a forum somewhere on the internet where colonel sanders die-hards were all wistfully expressing their longing to have that fried chicken guy’s voice drawling in their ear during long road trips and then finally one lone man stepped forward to fill that gap with a microphone, a dream, and a sub-par fake southern accent
what i said was, ‘…huh’
‘i had t-pain’s voice for a while but it got old really fast,’ said my driver
‘turn right,’ said colonel sanders
‘mm-hmm,’ i said
‘there’s a traffic camera up ahead,’ said colonel sanders. ‘if anyone asks, i was with you last night.’ then he chuckled, in a warm, folksy manner.
i realize this probably sounds like some sort of twisted postmodern tumblr joke, but no, these were the actual pre-recorded words the actual app said.
‘did your gps just jokingly imply colonel sanders committed a murder yesterday and needs an alibi,’ i asked.
‘what?’ said the driver, changing lanes. ‘yeah i guess.’
never in my life had a gps thrown me such a goddamn conversational curveball
like. was it a gps at all, or some sort of experimental new form of fiction, an avant garde crime story delivered in tiny dribbles in and among every hundred navigational tips? but no, if so we are talking some TRUE UNSOLVED MYSTERIES shit, because why the fuck is your dark antihero colonel fucking sanders?
was it a gps at all, or was the deceased wing-and-drumstick magnate now a vengeful ghost and my driver a bold and resourceful ghost-hunter who somehow managed to trap that malignant specter inside the car and bind the colonel’s will to his own and then use that will to get us to the airport via the most efficient available route?
either way, the driver did not divulge his secrets. the colonel droned on. the ride ended. the car drove away and still the truth eluded me, slippery as greased corn.
somebody call a paranormal investigator because we have a lot of shit to work out
One of the most known multirole fighters of the world is here, yes, it’s the McDonnell Douglas F/A-18E/F Super Hornet.
This beast of an aircraft is a twin engine, multirole, carrier-based fighter with one seat for the E variant and a tandem-seat for the F variant. The Super Hornet was developed from the F/A-18 Hornet, it is bigger and more advanced, one of it’s features is the capacity to carry 5 external fuel tanks and be configured to act as an airborne tanker with the addition of an external aerial refueling system.
It also has an internal 20mm M61 rotary cannon and can carry air-to-air, air-to-ground and anti-ship missiles as well as bombs, the newest weapons in the US Navy can be installed on the Super Hornet including the AIM-9X Sidewinder, AIM-120D AMRAAM, AGM-154 Joint Standoff Weapon (JSOW), AGM-158 Joint Air-to-Surface Standoff Missile (JASSM), AGM-84 Harpoon, Long Range Anti-Ship Missile (LRASM), JDAM and others.
The Super Hornet entered service in 1999 with the United States Navy (USN) to replace the F-14 Tomcats which was fully retired in 2006, it currently serves alongside the F/A-18C Hornet. The Royal Australian Air Force (RAAF) also operates F/A-18A Hornets but in 2007 the Super Hornet was ordered to replace the older F-111C the RAAF Super Hornets entered service in December 2010.
It’s capacity and technological advancements makes the Super Hornets be one of the most efficient and effective carrier-based multirole aircraft in the world.
That’s it for this photo series, as always don’t be shy to send me suggestions or contributions for future photo series!
Have a great day, everyone!
It was late Friday night when you got the phone call. Josh had gone out with some friends to celebrate him being back in LA. You were equally excited to be back home and have a bit of a break, but you chose to stay home and enjoy doing absolutely nothing for the first time in months. You and Josh had spent all of last week in Jamaica, holed up in a luxury hotel to have a nice vacation together, so you didn’t even bat an eye when Josh told you that he was meeting some of his friends. You simply kissed him and sent him on his way.
It had been two or three hours since Josh had left when your phone rang. Laura’s name popped up, along with a picture of her, Josh and you from Ashley’s wedding.
“Hi Laura,” you answered.
“Y/N?” She asked, voice broken and sounding almost hysterical.
“Laura? What’s wrong?” you asked, trying to make out what she was sobbing through the phone.
“It’s Josh,” she cried, and your heart instantly dropped down to the pit of your stomach.
“Mom—,” you heard either Ashley or Abigail say before there was shuffling on the other line.
“Hello?” you asked, becoming frantic.
“Y/N,” Ashley’s voice came through the phone, you could tell she’d been crying too, but she was more put together than her mother.
“Ashley, what the hell’s going on? You guys are scaring the shit out of me. What about Josh?” you asked.
“They won’t tell us much over the phone. He was in an accident, and they called mom. They said he’s in a bad state, but they won’t say much else until we get there. Dad’s driving us to the airport, but it’ll be a while before we get a flight. Mom told them your name so they’ll release information to you when you get there. They took him to The Southside Kindred Hospital, but you’ve got to get there so you can figure out what’s going on. We’re all a bit in hysterics,” she said, voice rough with tears.
“Oh my god—,” you said, running around the house trying to collect your shoes and a jacket, before grabbing your wallet and keys. “Is he okay, Ash?” you asked on your way out the door. You hurried into your car before speeding down the street.
“We don’t even know,” Ashley sounded frustrated. “Just call us when you get there and they’ve told you what’s going on. Get there quickly, please. But drive safe because Josh being in the hospital is enough.”
“Of course, Ashley. I’ll call you as soon as I know what’s going on. Love you guys,” you said, knuckles whitening as you clutched the steering wheel.
Your mind was in a thousand different places at once the entire drive to the hospital, but when you got there, you parked quickly before practically sprinting inside the emergency room and over to the receptionist seated behind a desk.
“Can I help you?” She asks.
You look around frantically, “My name’s Y/F/N,” you blurt out. “Josh Dun— was brought here.. or I mean I got a phone call from his mom and sister saying he’d been in a car accident and he was here or that he’d be here.”
“What’s your relation to him?” She asked, typing away on the computer.
“He’s my boyfriend,” you say.
“Right, okay. He hasn’t arrived yet” she says, looking up at you from her screen. The ambulance estimated arrival time to be 11:20, so it should be any minute now. If you’d like to have a seat—“ she motions towards the waiting room, mostly emptied tonight.
You paced around the room instead, looking out the window, just to give yourself something to do, until you heard the bustling sound of the emergency room doors being shoved open.
“We need IV fluids stat—“
“I need to get this leg stabilized—“
“Not until we take care of that laceration!”
It’s almost like the whole thing happens in slow motion, because you’re able to pay attention to every single detail being flown through the doors. There’s three EMT’s, all dressed in dark pants and a blue collar shirt. Then there’s someone dressed in scrubs with a wind-breaker looking poncho on. They’re all looking rather frazzled, muttering medical terms that you don’t quite understand. And then there’s Josh. You don’t get a perfect view of him, since everyone else is hovering over his body, but it’s enough. He’s unconscious, his eyes closed peacefully, almost like he was sleeping. Then you notice the blood gushing out of his temple, dripping into his eccentric yellow hair, almost making it look like the ruby color he had last summer again.
You have to cover your mouth and bite down on the cloth of your sweatshirt to keep from screaming.
They keep pushing him along in the stretcher. Two nurses hold open some double doors and before you know it, he’s being pushed away, out of your sight again. You run after them all, not wanting to be left in the dark. Josh needed you.
“Ma’am, you can’t go in there!” A nurse says, holding you back. You push against him, trying to slip by, but it’s no use. You’re hysterical and much too weak, so you let yourself all but collapse into the arms of this man instead.
“Where are they taking him?!” you say, a blubbery mess.
“Our doctors are gonna take good care of him—“ he assures you as he helps you walk back to the waiting room. You fall into the seat, curling your knees up into your chest and wounding your arms around yourself, just trying to hold it together.
It takes thirty three minutes for a doctor to come into the waiting room to find you. He’s got a scrub cap and gloves on, which he removes as he walks your way.
“Can I see him?” you blurt out, your eyes full of hope.
“You’re Y/N?” he asks. You nod back quickly. “Not right now, Y/N. He was in a very bad accident. It’s my understanding that the police will be in here shortly to tell you of the details of that, but I’m here to tell you about his medical condition. He’s in ICU now; we’ve got him stabilized. He is in serious condition though; the next few hours are crucial. His right leg is shattered, his arm is broken, too and he has several cuts and bruises; one on the right side of his head. It was cut by glass, he has twelve stitches right now. That injury may or may not have caused some trauma which could then potentially lead to some temporary memory loss or amnesia. But what we’re very worried about, is the internal damage. His entire body was bruised, and there was some internal bleeding in his lungs, which is not a good sign. They’re going to prep him for surgery now, to drain the fluids. After we open him up, we’ll know the extent of the damage,” he pauses, staring down at the scrub cap he has in his hands, before taking a deep breath, “I don’t know if you’re a religious woman, Ms. Y/L/N but if you are, I would start saying some prayers. He’s not out of the woods yet. I’m sorry that I can’t give you better news, but as I said, it was a very bad accident and it’s very serious. But I will personally keep you updated, especially after his surgery,” the man finishes, patting you on the shoulder before he walked out and softly closed the door.
You stare ahead, stunned by everything the doctor said. It was so much worse than you thought. Josh’s life was still in danger, and the doctor was worried he might not make it. Tears spilled out of your eyes as you stood up and started walking around the room, your hands finding your hair so you could give it a little tug, hoping the pull would relieve some of the fear flooding through you. You wiped your tears away and tried to clear your throat so that you didn’t sound like the complete wreck that you felt like as you began dialing Ashley’s number.
“Y/N?” She answered right away. “How is he? Have you seen him yet?”
“I saw him coming in—” you said, the tears began stinging your eyes again. “But not since they took him back.”
“What did the doctor say?” she asked.
“It’s bad Ashley. His leg and arm are broken and he’s got a cut on the side of his head but he’s in ICU and they’re prepping him for surgery because it’s really bad, like internally I guess. There’s blood in his lungs and they said he was stabilized but they don’t know what’s going on inside of his body,” you said, giving up on holding the tears back. “The doctor said we might want to start praying and it’s just really bad and I can’t fucking breathe in this waiting room they put me in. I can’t see him Ashley. I can’t go see him and he’s not okay.”
“Y/N, fuck, please breathe,” she says. Her voice was thick with emotion but it didn’t sound like she was crying. “He’s at one of the best hospitals in the state. They’re going to do everything they can. I’m sorry you’re there alone but we’re catching a flight out soon and we’ll be there in a few hours. I called Tyler and Jenna, they’re coming too.”
“Okay,” you say, forcing yourself to breathe properly. “Call me when you guys get in.”
“Good. Just stay there. Josh needs you to be strong. We’ll be there soon,” She promised.
“Get here safe,” you say, “Love you guys.”
“We love you,” Ashley says before hanging up.
You scroll through your phone, wondering if you should call anyone. You desperately wanted someone to be here with you, but everyone you considered calling either already knew, or was all the way back in Ohio. You locked your phone and stuffed it back in your pocket, rendering the whole thing pointless.
It takes Josh’s family over five hours to get to you. In that time, you’ve been visited by the doctor twice, telling you that Josh was still in surgery, but that he was stable and they were doing the best they could. You’d also been to the bathroom twice to throw up, and bitten your nails down to the skin.
Tyler and Jenna arrive first. They run through the double doors, hand-in-hand, both with exhausted, but concerned looking faces.
“Oh my god—“ Jenna says when she sees you. They both rush over, engulfing you in a hug. You cling to them, crying into one of their shoulders.
“We got here first. There was a flight leaving that had two empty seats. We told Laura to go, but she refused to leave Ash, Jordan, or Abigail. What the hell happened?” Tyler says.
“Fuck if I know! He was in a car accident and they said the police would come in and tell me about that, which they haven’t. I swear to God if he drove while he was drunk I’m gonna-”
“Y/N,” Tyler cuts you off. “Calm down. Breathe.”
You stopped talking and focused on Jenna rubbing your back as you counted your breaths.
“This isn’t real..” you say, as you lean your head on Jenna’s shoulder. “Tell me he’s going to be okay, Ty.”
Tyler sighs, “Josh’s been a fighter since the day both of us have met him. He’s always fought for what he’s cared about. Music. The band. You. He’s not about to give up that easily. He’s gonna fight through this.”
You let out a broken sob as you used the sleeves of your shirt to wipe tears away. Then you all sat there in silence for a while after that.
Only a couple of minutes passed when two policemen walked in, looking around the room sadly. “Which one of you is Y/F/N?” One of them asked, looking at you like he already knew.
“Me,” you croaked out, sitting upright on the seat.
“We’re just here to tell you about the accident,” The other said.
“Okay,” you nodded.
“A few witnesses all gave the same story. But uh Mr. Dun was driving when a car suddenly swerved across the center line and hit him head on. The airbags deployed and the cars were spinning until Mr. Dun’s car hit the barrier. The driver of the other car was intoxicated above legal limit, and died at the scene. Mr. Dun was stuck in his car, which was pressed against the barrier, so it took a while for paramedics to get him out. He was unconscious when they arrived, witnesses said he was unconscious when they ran over there.” The first policeman said. “We’ve just printed off the pictures of the cars and the damage. These copies are yours.”
You reached out and took the papers, waiting until the police left before he looked at them. “Oh my god,” you gasped as you almost fell back on to the couch. Tyler helped you sit down before they looked at the pictures. Josh’s car was completely demolished. It looked like a pile of black and gray scrap metal. And you weren’t particularly religious, but you said another silent prayer thanking whatever higher power that Josh even made it out alive, while simultaneously begging for him to make it through the night.
You looked at the clock again, and was about to make some comment under your breath about how long this surgery was taking before the door opened and the same doctor walked in again. You stood up immediately, walking to the doctor. “Well?”
He looked around at the new faces in the room before continuing, “The impact of the collision physically caused a broken rib to puncture a lung. We are in the process of emptying his lungs of any fluid that’s making it hard to breathe. He’s still stable, though, which is good. He can’t breathe on his own, so he’s got a breathing tube. Tonight is going to be a big one, and the next few days will decide a lot, but we’re hopeful. His body is going through a lot, trying to heal itself. It’s up to him now and he has to fight to get better.”
“So that’s all you can do?” You asked, not sure if you should be relieved or not.
“For now. We’ll keep doing what we can for him.”
Dr. Wells nodded. “We put him in a medically induced coma, the body heals best that way, and it lets him sleep through the worst of the pain. As of now, we plan to have him in the coma for a week, but we will keep you updated. You should be able to go in and visit him soon.”
“Okay,” you nodded, not sure of what else to do or ask.
“I’ll come get you when you can visit him,” he promised.
You thanked the doctor before going back and sitting down, pulling out your phone to call Ashley. You were just ready to ring her again, when her name popped up on your phone, “Just getting ready to call you,” you answered.
“We’re heading over now,” she said. “Is he okay?”
“He’s stable,” you said.
“Okay,” Ashley said, “See you in a few.”
You nearly dropped your phone when Laura and Ashley walk through the doors. You sprint over and wrap your arms around the both of them, letting them hold you tight. The rest of Josh’s family filter in behind them, all with tear stained faces and tired eyes.
“What’s going on?” Laura said, wiping her eyes.
Just then, the doctor reemerges. “Ah, family I presume?”
“I’m his mother,” Laura says, outstretching her arm. “How is he?”
“We’ve set his broken bones and put casts on, and we’re monitoring him carefully. He’s been stabilized, but you can go see him now,” Dr. Wells said. “Not all of you at once though, please. Just three of you for now.”
Laura nodded. “Y/N and Ash, come with me for now.”
“Laura,” you say, shaking your head, looking at Josh’s dad.
“Go ahead, son,” he says. “I’ll be in to see him soon.”
You nodded, following the doctor, “I just want to warn you, he’s pretty beat up,” he says before he opened the door to Josh’s room, letting the three of you in before he left. You stood frozen at the foot of the bed. Josh looked more than beaten and bruised; he was hooked up to machines and he had an IV running into his arm. The right side of his head was shaved down to the skin where there was a nasty looking cut just above his ear that stretched around the side of his head.
You heard Ashley and Laura whispering quietly to Josh, but you couldn’t make out what they were saying. You felt like you weren’t really here, almost like you were just watching a tragic movie play out, but you were brought back to reality when you forced yourself to understand that this was Josh lying in the hospital bed, fighting for his life right now.
Laura walked over and kissed your forehead. “We’ll give you a minute, then send the others in,” she said.
You nodded as they walked out the door and immediately you went to sit in the chair at Josh’s side. “Hi, love,” you said, voice thick with emotion as you entwined your fingers with Josh’s. “Wow, I hate seeing you like this.” you thought about what you wanted to say, although you were pretty sure Josh couldn’t hear you anyway. “You’ve got me so worried, baby. Your mum and dad, Ashley and Abigail, Jordan, Tyler and Jenna. They’re all here, everyone’s so worried about you, babe. We love you so much. I love you so much, Josh, you’ve got to get better, okay? I want you to fight harder than you ever have before,” you said, looking down to where your tears were falling on Josh’s bed. “You’ve got to get better and pull through, okay? For me. I need you.”
You sat there for another minute, letting yourself cry and hold Josh’s hand. Y
When you walked back to the room, you sent the others in before sitting, curled up on a seta, not looking at anyone else. You sat there for a while with your head on your knees, thinking about Josh and how much you loved him, and how completely fucked your life would be if Josh wasn’t in it anymore.
You only look up after feeling someone’s soft touch on your shoulder. “Why don’t you head home, love?” It’s Laura. “You need rest.”
You immediately shake your head. “I’m going to sleep shitty no matter where I am, I might as well be here.”
Laura nods before sighing. “We rented a hotel nearby,” she says, looking reluctant to leave. “We’ll be back in a few hours,” she says.
Once they’re gone and Tyler and Jenna emerge from Josh’s room, you head back in, taking the chair near his bed. “I love you. I love you so much,” you sighed, letting the steady beeping of Josh’s heart monitor lull you to sleep.
When you wake up, it was to a sore neck, the fast beeping of the heart monitor and the door to Josh’s room being thrown open quickly. “You need to leave,” A nurse says as she practically pulled you from the chair and a flood of doctors ran in.
“No, what’s going on,” you asked, suddenly very alert as you saw electric shock paddles.
“You need to go,” The nurse says.
You heard the fast beeping of the heart monitor suddenly turn to a long, steady, beep. “No!” you scream. “Josh, no!” You push past his nurse before another pulled on your arms. “Don’t you fucking leave!” you yelled. “Josh please, wake up!” The nurses dragged you out just as the doctor ripped Josh’s dressing gown open and placed the paddles on his chest.
You were hyperventilating as you felt strong, somewhat familiar arms around you instead of the nurses. “Y/N,” You heard Tyler say.
“Ty, no,” You cried. “He can’t.”
“No, no, no no no no, fuck no,” you sobbed, collapsing into Tyler’s arms further, “I can’t breathe. He has to be okay!”
All you could think about was Josh, and no, Josh couldn’t be gone. You clutched yourself around the middle, trying to put some sort of pressure on your body to hold it together. But it was too hard, so you let Tyler hold you instead while you sobbed into the fabric of his sweatshirt.
It wasn’t until a nurse walked in that you could breathe again.
“We got him back,” she says, sighing a breath of relief.
You gasped as you felt air fill your lungs for what felt like the first time in hours. “He’s okay?”
“He’s stable again,” she says.
“Can I see him?”
“You need rest—“ Tyler interjected.
“I need to see him!” you argue. “I need to call Laura—“
“What and wake her up too? You all need rest.”
You finally gave in and rested your head in Jenna’s lap as Tyler threw a blanket over you. You listened to the quiet noise of the TV playing and fell asleep again to Jenna running her fingers through your hair.
The next time you wake up, it was more peaceful. Jenna was whispering to Tyler about something you couldn’t bring yourself to care about. You stretched and sat up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you looked around. Jordan and Ashley were sitting in one of the chairs on their phones. Abigail was sitting next to her dad on the couch and Laura was by the water cooler.
The doctor walks through the double doors just then, causing you to become more alert. “Josh’s been improving significantly since he flat lined this morning. He’ll still be in the induced coma for the next few days, but if he keeps improving at this rate, he should be awake after that. You’re more than welcome to still come visit him, as long as you listen to the nurses,” he said giving you a look. “I will keep you updated, but just know he’ll still be out for a few days.”
They all nodded and thanked the doctor.
The next few days passed faster than you would’ve thought. Josh was slowly but steadily healing, and the doctor finally tells them that he thinks Josh would make a full recovery. You nearly melted with relief. You couldn’t help the nagging in your head that said even if he physically recovered, he still might have head trauma and memory loss.
Josh was starting to look better, much to your relief. His smaller cuts were healing, and the color was starting to come back to his face.
One week after his accident, you, Laura and Jordan were in Josh’s room as the doctor took out the breathing tube, and you all let out a sigh of relief when Josh started breathing on his own.
“We’ve stopped the medicine that’s keeping him in a coma,” the nurse says. “It could take anywhere for a few hours to a few days for him to completely wake up though. This is all up to him now. When his body is ready to wake up, it will. I know this is a hard time to be patient, but I don’t want you to get discouraged if he doesn’t wake up today, okay?”
All three of them nodded.
“Alright, Josh,” Jordan says. “You’ve kept us here for the longest week of our lives. Time to wake up now, bro.”
Josh didn’t wake up the first day, like you’d hoped he would.
You tried not to worry when Josh didn’t wake up the second day either.
By the time it got to the forth day they’d taken Josh off the medicine, you began panicking. “You can’t do anything?” You asked the doctor for what had to have been the thousandth time.
“He’s still recovering and his body is exhausted,” he says, “Give him time.”
You started losing track of the days and time, seeing as you didn’t leave the hospital for two weeks. When you woke up one day, you blinked and looked around to see that the sun had set, but it was still fairly light outside. The room was quiet, except for Josh’s heart monitor. You looked to the clock to see that you’d only been asleep for a couple of hours, but it was still early evening. You rubbed your eyes before you felt the same thing that woke you up in the first place: a slight pressure on your hand that was laced with Josh’s.
“Josh?” you asked, jumping up and sitting on the edge of the bed running your free hand through Josh’s messy hair. “Love, can you hear me?” you tried not to get too excited, but you knew that you hadn’t imagined Josh squeezing it. “Babe, if you can hear me, can you please try to squeeze my hand again?”
You waited and felt the slightest pressure on your hand again. Your eyes filled with tears of relief. You reached up to press the red button to call a nurse in, before you turned your attention back to Josh. “Are you waking up, love?” you asked. Josh squeezed your hand again. “Josh,” you sighed, cupping the side of his face. “Can you find your voice, baby?”
Josh sighed and you saw movement underneath his eyelids, but he kept his them shut as he squeezed your hand again, but for longer. “That’s okay,” you said quietly, afraid of being too loud. The nurse walked in, eyes wide as she looked at Josh and you. “He’s waking up,” you smiled.
She grinned at him. “I’ll go get Dr. Cochran.”
“Do you know who I am, love?” you asked, the question burning in his head. “It’s me, it’s Y/N.”
Josh squeezed your hand again and he made a small noise in the back of his throat that you thought sounded almost offended. You loved that it sounded crazy for Josh not to know who you were.
“He’s waking up?” Dr. Cochran asked.
“Yeah,” you smiled.
“Wonderful. I need you to step back for a few minutes,” Dr. Cochran says.
You hesitate and Josh squeezes your hand tighter than he had yet, but you pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Not going anywhere far. I’m right here.”
“She hasn’t left your side yet, Josh,” Dr. Cochran says. “Don’t think I could get her to leave now.”
Dr. Cochran and the nurse continued asking Josh questions, progressing to see if Josh could feel his feet, arms, legs, chest, hips. Yes, yes, yes. He could feel it all. “We’re going to turn all of the lights off, except for the lamp in the corner, okay Josh? It’s not too bright in here, it wont hurt your eyes. I know your eyelids feel heavy now, and I know you’re exhausted, but can you please try to open your eyes?”
You watched, with his heart pounding heavily as Josh’s eyes fluttered, but his eyelids stayed closed.
“I need you to try a little harder for me, Josh,” Dr. Wells said.
Josh let out a quiet, yet disgruntled sigh as his eyes moved rapidly under his lids. Dr. Cochran looked at you, then looked pointedly at Josh, nodding his head once.
You nodded before going and sitting on the bed next to Josh. You took his hand in yours again, “Hey love, it’s me,” you said quietly. “Been waiting here for an awful long time to see you awake again. I miss you. I miss your eyes. Can you open up for me? Just for a bit, then you can go back to sleep.”
Josh’s eyes fluttered again, then finally opened and you let out the biggest sigh of relief. Josh let out a soft grunt, then let his eyes close again, blinking them slowly before he opened them again.
“I’m right here, baby,” you said softly, waiting for Josh’s glazed eyes to focus on you.
“You’ve been on a breathing tube, which is why your throat is sore. Don’t try to talk yet if it hurts too much. I’m very glad to see you awake, Josh. A lot of people will be glad. You can sleep now, we’ll do some more tests when you wake up again.”
Dr. Cochran and the nurse left, and Josh’s eyes started drooping immediately. “Your family are here, Josh, I’m sorry they’re not in here right now. They’ll be in here when you wake up again.”
Josh squeezed your hand tightly as his eyes closed and his breathing evened out.
“I’ll be here too, promise.”
The next time Josh woke up was the next morning; Laura was by his side while you sat on the windowsill. The doctor ran some more tests and Josh cleared his throat once before he decided he needed to sleep again.
Josh didn’t wake up again until the next night. You were sitting next to Josh when he stretched out his fingers and you looked up to see Josh looking at you with a small smile on his face. You took his hand immediately and smiled.
“Hi,” you smiled.
Josh cleared his throat and looked over to the small side table.
“Water?” you asked.
“Don’t talk if it hurts too much,” you warned.
Josh shook his head. “Throat feels a little better,” he says. His voice was rough and scratchy, so quiet that you had to strain yourself to listen carefully, but Josh was talking.
You sighed in relief. “Good. You still look out of it.”
“How?” Josh asked.
You smiled. “You just look exhausted.”
“I’m so tired,” he sighed.
You kissed his forehead, “Go back to sleep, baby. I love you so much. Gonna be right here when you wake up.”
“Love you,” Josh sighed before he fell asleep again.
It took three more days for Josh to be awake longer than fifteen minutes, and for his eyes to clear up. By that point, the anesthesia had completely worn off, and Josh was looking much better.
Everyone visited constantly throughout the day. Tyler and Jenna were in and out and Josh’s entire family had been staying in the nearby hotel for weeks now. When everyone all finally left at the end of the day, Josh made space on the bed for you to lay with him.
“You scared the shit out of me, you know?” you whispered.
“Will you tell me everything, now?” he asked. No one had told Josh what had happened, more focused on getting him better, since he was mostly out of it anyway and he wouldn’t remember. But now he was alert, and you forced yourself to open up.
“Car accident. Drunk driver hit you head on and it was bad. The car is completely wrecked, sorry about that,” you sighed. “What was the last thing you remember?”
“I was at the club. We were having a good time, but I really didn’t feel like drinking. I stayed with everyone for a bit, then I wanted to get home to you,” he said. “Hey Y/N?”
“What happened to the other driver?”
You closed your eyes. “He didn’t make it.”
Josh tensed and squeezed your fingers tightly. “They died?”
“Yeah, baby. I’m sorry.,” you whispered.
“I almost died too?”
“You did for minute,” you said squeezing your eyes shut again, you let yourself inhale the smell of him before continuing. “I was right here, beside you, and you started flatlining. They had to drag me out and do the whole paddle-thing. I thought I was going to lose you. It was the worst minute of my entire fucking life,” you whispered.
Josh squeezed your hand tightly, but you kept your eyes closed, ignoring the tears filling up as you thought about the seconds you thought you’d lost Josh.
“It was that bad?”
“They didn’t think you were gonna make it through the night. I’ve never been so scared in my life,” you said.
“Babe,” Josh whispered. “I’m so sorry.”
“Not your fault. I’m just scared to leave you alone right now. Don’t wanna let you go,” you sighed.
“I don’t really want you to leave. But promise me something?” he asked.
“After I fall asleep again, go home. Shower, eat some food, and try to sleep. I love you so much and I’m so grateful to you for being here but you haven’t left the hospital in what? Three weeks? Ash and my mom will be back soon, Ty’s here. I’ll be fine. You look like hell, love, and I’m a little worried,” Josh said.
You sighed. “I’ll shower and eat, but I’m not sleeping in the bed without you. I’m staying here until you can come home with me.”
Josh rolls his eyes but nods. “Fine. Thanks for being here. I love you so much.”
Ok so rant post because this literally kept me up for hours last night.
Why is Tony Stark perceived as the Villain in Civil War?
There is no legitimate reason for this.
“But he made Ultron and tried to hurt Bucky!”
Ok, sit down. Let’s talk about Ultron, shall we?
If we REALLY want to discuss whose fault Ultron is, let’s go way back to this movie:
In this movie was a character called Loki, whom you may remember and might recognize as second from the left on this poster.
Loki was the main villain of the film, and Thor failed to incarcerate him at the end of the movie. Loki went on to bring the mind stone (AKA the basis for Ultron) to Earth. Therefore, it is Thor’s fault for not stopping Loki.
But let’s move on from that. Assuming that Thor couldn’t have stopped Loki, whose fault was it?
Actually, it is arguably still Thor, seeing as he brought the Tesseract back to Asgard at the end of the Avengers, but failed to grab Loki’s mind control stick on his way out the door.
Even clearing him of charges for that, we could argue that it’s Steve/Clint/Natasha’s fault, because I’m going to assume that SHIELD took the staff, and because of that, the staff found its way into Hydra’s hands.
Then we have Captain America: The Winter Soldier.
Let’s pretend that Steve/Clint/Natasha DID see the staff into SHIELD custody. Apparently they weren’t concerned enough about the fact that, y’know, SHIELD was actually Hydra and therefore Hydra had the staff of mind control in their possession, which makes it their fault. At this point,
Steve/Clint/Natasha becomes Steve/Clint/Natasha/Sam.
However, this STILL isn’t the end of the story.
Somehow, Thor fails to care about any of these developments in the Dark World, so it’s back to his fault.
The entire Avenger’s cast FINALLY cares about the fact that the Staff is held by Hydra when Tony comes back on the scene (huh) at the beginning of Age of Ultron, at which point Tony goes after the Staff. However, while this is the first point at which we could reasonably claim that it is Tony’s fault, we immediately switch over to this:
In case you weren’t freaking paying attention, this is Tony seeing an alternate past where the world ended and all of his friends were dead as a result of him not doing enough.
Immediately after this we get this line:
[Pietro and Wanda watch as goes Tony grabs the scepter] Pietro Maximoff: “We’re just gonna let them take it?” [Wanda smiles to herself as Tony takes the scepter]
Are you really going to tell me that little smug grin doesn’t belie that she knows exactly what’s about to happen? Even if it doesn’t, I’m pretty sure she said something to the effect of, “He’ll do what he thinks he has to” or something to that effect.
Therefore it is clearly Wanda’s fault.
BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!
Tony then asks Thor for permission to monkey around with the staff, making it Thor’s fault, and then Bruce and Tony work on the staff TOGETHER, making it JOINTLY their fault when Ultron comes to life.
So great, we have now found fault in every Avenger except for Rhodey and Pietro at this point.
Except, Tony/Bruce think that Ultron failed. The second they find out that he didn’t the Avengers mobilize and come fairly close to beating Ultron. Tony can easily out-program Ultron, because we’ve seen him literally hack his own equipment while fighting numerous opponents - one on one with Ultron shouldn’t be a problem.
But these two butts show up and proceed to compromise every single Avenger except Tony and Clint.
Not only does the Witch send Natasha/Steve/Thor into visions, SHE LITERALLY MANIPULATES HULK INTO ATTACKING A WAKANDAN CITY, FORCING TONY TO END HIS ASSAULT ON ULTRON FOR THE PURPOSE OF SAVING LIVES.
Wanda and Pietro are LITERALLY FIGHTING ON ULTRON’S SIDE FOR MORE THAN HALF OF THE MOVIE. So CLEARLY the fact that Ultron makes any headway at all is at least PARTIALLY THEIR FAULT, RIGHT?
Then we get the creation of Vision, supported by Tony, Bruce, Thor, and Clint and opposed by Wanda, Steve, Pietro, and Natasha. This is in spite of the fact that literally all Tony is doing is uploading JARVIS to a body, which should be a no brainer seeing as JARVIS has been immensely helpful since literally the earliest movies of the MCU.
We finally get Vision to wake up, and, what do you know, not only is he on the Avenger’s side, HE LITERALLY IS WORTHY TO PICK UP THOR’S HAMMER.
So if anything, this sequence should doubly absolve Tony Stark of guild: The success of Vision is proof that Ultron is not a mistake but rather a flawed prototype, AND Tony has just created the only weapon that will allow the Avengers to defeat Ultron.
We’ll note that he does not receive credit for either of these points, either in the movie or in the fandom.
Now, I would like to point out in spite of everything that has just been argued that Ultron is an independent being who is making his own choices and as such is the only person who can be blamed for his actions, triply absolving Tony of guilt. The only people who can legitimately be blamed here are Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver, who chose to help Ultron fight the Avengers, but they should arguably be forgiven because they help to defeat him.
If I haven’t convinced you that Tony is innocent here yet, please message me so I can block you.
Now, on to Civil War.
The entire point of this movie is Steve saying “No superhumans shouldn’t be regulated because if they are then people might get mad at Bucky,” while the entire rest of the world is saying, “Yeah, we’d like a little oversight.” Like, yes, personal freedom and standing up for your values is great and all, but SHIELD had zero oversight and look what happened there - oh, right, people died, nearly including Mr. Holier-Than-Though Rogers and his best friend (it was still a great movie…). Yes, stand for what you believe in, Steve, but accept that there are systems in place for doing that. There are reasons that everyone in the military and in the government respond to someone else and are bound by certain laws, and superhumans should be too.
THEN, Bucky comes into the picture when he’s framed for a terrorist attack.
Does Steve go to any of his allies for help? Does he have Tony Stark or Nick Fury pull strings? Does he go to the government with the information he has about Bucky’s condition and ask for help? No, no, and no.
Queue Black Panther.
Black Panther believes that Bucky killed his father, so he decides to kill Bucky. Remember that.
We get a protracted series of fight scenes wherein, regardless of whether or not they were previously criminals, Steve and Bucky become wanted criminals and get themselves arrested alongside Black Panther, then everybody else gets themselves arrested.
Let us analyse the airport fight scene.
Steve has recruited a felon, Tony has recruited a teenager, I think those evils roughly cancel each other out.
On Team Tony, four out of five individuals depend on Tony for equipment.
Spiderman we haven’t seen before, but we know that Tony redesigned his suit. In addition, assuming that this movie Spiderman accurately reflects his comic book strength (which we can assume he does, seeing as he catches the airplane loading thing), he is obviously pulling his punches.
Then we have War Machine and Black Widow.
War Machine we have seen consistently demonstrating a single difference from standard Iron Man suits: automatic firearms.
However, in this sequence, we do not see him use the shoulder cannon once and we see him use his missiles only to address the fact that Giant Man is trying to smash him with a truck.
However, we see two NEW weapons: a sonic cannon and a stun baton, both of which are shown to be nonlethal.
Black Widow we see using her signature Widow’s Bites for the first time in her six movies in the Marvel franchise - again, non-lethally disabling Black Panther.
Are you really going to tell me that this is a coincidence? The only person we see attempting to use lethal force on Team Tony is Black Panther, whom we all know respects nobody.
Now, Team Steve.
Let’s start with Scarlet Witch, the MCU’s poster child for milking her perceived innocence.
We see her attempt to crush Tony under a bunch of cars, breaking his arm. We see her throw off Vision’s aim nearly killing War Machine. She very clearly has no qualms about killing.
Hawkeye is literally using explosive arrows throughout the fight scene.
Ant-Man tears apart the internal circuitry of one of Iron Man’s arms (possibly after the arm it contained was already broken).
Falcon is literally shooting at Spiderman.
Bucky punches at Spiderman full force.
And let us not forget Steve Rogers, who literally attempts to drop an airplane loading dock on a kid:
I mean come on.
Tony is literally the only one who ISN’T letting his anger get the best of him in this scene.
Then, in case you don’t believe me, let’s jump to the final fight scene in the abandoned Hydra base, shall we?
Tony is using distinctly nonlethal force here. If his goal were to kill Bucky, I guarantee you Bucky would be dead.
However, he uses his potentially lethal weapons in a nonlethal fashion, primarily to control where Steve and Bucky can and can’t go. His laser - which, friendly reminder, is powerful enough that he had to instruct War Machine to get out of the way - was used only to interpose steel girders between himself and Captain America. His tank missile, which is one of his iconic and most terrifying weapons, merely closed a loading door. Tony is not using lethal force - the worst thing he does is destroy Bucky’s arm, which is terrible, but worst case scenario, Tony can repair it. Yes, it is inflicting pain, but it is pain that is not dissimilar to pain that Tony has gone through himself.
That, of course, doesn’t stop Steve and Bucky from very willingly shredding his armor and, y’know, leaving him stranded in Siberia or wherever the heck that base was.
Now, final point, remember Black Panther?
Black Panther (incorrectly) jumped to the conclusion that Bucky had killed his father, and tried very hard throughout the duration of the movie to kill Bucky in revenge.
Tony WATCHED on FILM as Bucky slaughtered his parents and still showed great restraint. Did he want to hurt Bucky? Yes, very much so.
Did he want to kill Bucky? No, he did not.
This is precisely why the “But he’s my friend”/”So was I” zinger hurts so freaking much. Even in his moment of insane pain, Tony did not want to hurt Steve. Yes, he wanted to hurt Bucky, but he knew that, if he killed Bucky, he would be hurting Steve, and, as Steve’s friend, he could not conscience that decision.
I will eternally maintain that Tony is the victim of Civil War, that Steve betrayed Tony, and that Steve does not deserve Tony’s forgiveness, and nothing anybody can say will ever change my mind.
Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader (mentions of platonic!Harrison x reader)
Summary: You pick Harrison and Tom up from the airport and sleepy boys give sleepy cuddles.
Warnings: mentions of sex, fluff
weren’t having a particularly busy day. You were trying to do some cleaning
done before the boys came home this evening but you had gotten side-tracked
scrolling through Instagram so you hadn’t got time to do the vacuuming before
ugly.” Harrison’s voice filled your ear and you heard the unmistakable sound of
Tom laughing in the background.
is that any way to talk to your best friend?” You berated him, “I take it