urge to make

[4]

CLAMP PUT THOUGHT INTO THIS OK. 

Even if Manga-chan’s storyline is (somehow) entirely consistent across the universe, the AUTHORS AREN’T. 

Like. Consider that for a moment. Completely different people in completely different worlds all writing the same exact canonically matching plotline but in slightly different art styles. 

Guys some of these worlds don’t even have ninjas, BUT THEY KNOW THE PLOT OK. IT OCCURS TO EACH OF THEM NATURALLY AND COMPLETELY. 

WHOEVER THEY ARE. 

I think sometimes about those accidents some people have, where they’re in a car-crash, or something equally physically traumatic, specifically causing injury to the head, and they come out the other side different. 

I imagine if something happened to me, I received some sort of brain damage, and I came out the other side no longer with an urge to write, to make art, to communicate something from inside of myself out into the world. That need to tell stories, and to feel like they’re reaching an audience.

I fantasize about how relaxing that would feel, that I could suddenly stop trying so hard all the time, to be something. To make something. To make myself be something. I could just relax, and be nothing. Say nothing. Do nothing. I could find some manual  tasks to occupy my time and pay my bills, and be content. 

Imagine that. Being content. 

It’d be a nightmare, too. Knowing that I’d lost something, and being able to care that it was gone. It’d be a time of peace that’d give me no relief. Or maybe it would. It’s so difficult to say. Or impossible, really. It’s just an idle thought.

But then, aren’t they all?

anyway. here’s the top 5 grammatically unusual phrases containing the f-word that resonate with me the most currently

1. what’s so fuck then
2. what the hap is fuckening
3. Shut Your Fuck
4. fuck of
5. something’s fucky

8

“you win if there’s a change in hyungsik’s face” ; part.1 ailee vers.
{ivy vers.}

4

バイバイ YESTERDAYAnsatsu Kyoushitsu S2 OP2

Cassian (& Nesta) Headcannon

This got a bit…. long

Concept:

•Cassian, with his 500 years of living, has picked up how to play some musical instruments out of curiosity
•BUT, he’s never really played in front of or for anyone
•His favorite instrument is definitely the piano
•He just- he loves the way the chords flow together and the sounds that resonate in a room even after he’s stopped pressing down on the keys
•He loves to lose himself in the notes; to let everything in him be consumed by the way music affects him so intensely
•So one day, Cass is in the House of Wind or something when everyone else is gone doing their own thing
•He’s wandering around and just so happens to walk past one of his favorite rooms, where his beloved piano is bathed in golden sunlight in this open, airy balcony, music room type of thing
•And his fingers twitch as his side, yearning to create melodies long since suppressed, considering he hasn’t played in what seems like forever
•So he gently crosses the room and sits down on the bench; runs a hand lovingly across the lid of his piano before placing his fingers tentively on the ivory keys
•And with a deep breathe to calm his nerves, he begins to play
•It’s messy at first; years of not playing has caused his brain to muddle his usual technique, but he still continues, pushing on
•Slowly, slowly, the notes start to come out smoother
•Memories and notes come back to him in waves; his fingers dancing across the keys in excitement, having almost forgotten how good it feels to release his emotions and craft them into something beautiful
•He remembers now, why he started learning to play piano in the first place
•He remembers: a younger Cassian wandering around Velaris, centuries ago, and hearing something that stopped him in his tracks
•It was music- a type he’d never heard before; music that burrowed itself in his skin and settled along his bones
•So he followed that sound, coming to a shop with its door open, and peered in to see an older woman sitting at a piano bench
•He watched her for a few moments, losing himself in the movement of her hands- how intricate the chords seemed to be, and he wanted it so bad- wanted to know how to create something as breathtaking as that
•So after her musical piece came to an end, he approached her, swallowing his pride to get out the following breathless words, “Can you- can you teach me?”
•From then on, he would go to that little shop to be taught the ways of the massive instrument
•She taught him & he learned to know which pedals to push and how long to hold each note; how to build a piece higher and higher until the crescendo shattered into existence, all from the tips of their fingers
•Eventually, when he was quite advanced in learning and playing after months of practice, the woman told him that her job was done, all that was left was for him to create his own music instead of learning hers
• “You have so much inside of you,” she had said, gently pressing a palm to his heart. “You must take all those deeply buried feelings and let them out. Forge them into something useful, something that brings you peace instead of turmoil. You must understand that music is your companion, it will be there when all else is lost. Don’t forget to share your burdens, your happiness, your sorrow, with the one thing that will never betray you.” With that, she had taken the hand that was still on his chest and placed it on her magnificent piano, letting her own memories sweep her into an inviting embrace as Cassian quietly left for the day
•A few weeks later, as Cassian was making his way back to the old lady’s piano shop for a visit, he walked in to find the place empty- all except the piano they had played on together for hours on end
•And as he made his way over to the instrument, he found a note laying on top of it saying, “She is now yours, and she is your friend. Treat her well.”
•Cassian has never seen her again, but the memory of her will live on with him for as long as he’s alive
•So now, he is currently sitting still at the House of Wind, having lost himself in the memories of his earlier life, and he just - starts crying
•Like, it hits him so hard and he misses the old woman who taught him how to play and he wants to go back to the time where everything was not quite so hectic; before Amarantha and the King of Hybern and all the wars that he has fought in
•He wants to go back to the time where his soul wasn’t so heavy, even though he has never experienced a time where he’s been completely light hearted
•Not until her
•With that thought, his silent tears instantly slow until they stop
•Nesta
•When he’s with her, everything seems so simple
•Although she’s a pain in the ass a lot of the time, he wouldn’t have it any other way
•He recalls a past conversation with Rhysand, where his brother had confessed to him that when Feyre and him had first gone to the Summer Court, Feyre had told the High Lord Tarquin that, “It would be very easy to love you.” Rhys had been a wreck whenever it came to his mate (during the time she didn’t know she was his mate yet)
•But those words had stuck with Cassian for a while
•It is very, very easy to love Nesta
•With that notion, and feeling of love in his heart, he begins to play again
•But this song is slow, peaceful, and effortless
•He let’s his heart compose this piece, as his hands do the work
•The music is lovely, resembling the most cherished of his feelings
•And Cassian can’t help but memorize it; he knows it’s dedicated to his love- to Nesta
•And after this afternoon is over, and he has created the most graceful tune he has ever played, he knows he has to show her
•So when the opportunity arrives a week or two later, and Nesta & Cassian are alone, he brings her to his music room, and plays the piece he crafted for her
•And she knows, can feel it deep down in her soul, that the music he plays for her is for her ears alone
•She cherishes it, loves it, spills more than a few tears over it
•Cassian is so nervous and anxious because this is his first time showing someone this part of him, this love for piano
•But Nesta just comes over to sit next to him on the bench, and leans her head on his shoulder as she gently grabs his hand and entwines her fingers with his
•And he’s just silent, so full of happiness and he’s content and he’s proud to have a woman like Nesta in his life
•He tentively asks her, “Do you like it?”
•She turns her head to peer up at him, her eyes shining silver, “It’s perfect.”
•And the purest smile appears on his face and it just breaks her heart and mends it back together again all in the same instant and she leans in to kiss him
•And the kiss is slow and extraordinary, and it reminds them that they have the rest of their immortal lives to be with each other, and even in death they will not be separated

Yeah i made an overwatch reaper pumpkin, what ya gonna do about it (sorry for the shitty quality)