urban funk

A moment of silence.

For the failure of Simon Cowell at trying to recreate One Direction: 

Nu Vibe (2011)

Simon just straight up thought he could catch lightning in a bottle twice in 2 years by doing the exact same thing as 2010. Nu Vibe were a five-piece boy band whose members successfully auditioned as soloists, but they were knocked out of the competition at the bootcamp stage. The judges then called them back and put them together as a group.

Union Jay (2012)

Union Jay was a little different, but still a manufactured group made up of a rejected 3-piece band and a rejected solo act who they just added to the existing 3-piece. 

Kingsland Road (2013)

Kingsland Road were an English rock and roll-style and urban-inspired funk and disco boy band formed in 2012.

Stereo Kicks & Overload Generation (2014)

Frustrated, Simon was just throwing shit at the wall at this point, putting 2 boy bands in the live shows.

In 2015, Simon decided fuck it, and tried to recreate Little Mix instead. He failed here, too.

Yes Lad (2016)

Desperate, Simon took embarrassment to new, unchartered waters with the latest imitation of One Direction.

anyway, instead of being a conniving, somewhat secretive but still sort of obvious evil overlord and use those classic boy band stereotypes to create his New 1D, simon just decided to throw all subtlety out the window and say: “look! it’s the exact same characteristics that we think made you love one direction because we don’t understand the fans at all, only they’re now being applied to five bland pasty white guys who i still have the chance to control!”

Never forget how desperate and stagnant Simon Cowell is.

1980 P R I N C E * D I R T Y M I N D

Review by Stephen Thomas Erlewine
Neither For You nor Prince was adequate preparation for the full-blown masterpiece of Prince’s third album, Dirty Mind. Recorded in his home studio, with Prince playing nearly every instrument, Dirty Mind is a stunning, audacious amalgam of funk, new wave, R&B, and pop, fueled by grinningly salacious sex and the desire to shock. Where other pop musicians suggested sex in lewd double-entendres, Prince left nothing to hide — before its release, no other rock or funk record was ever quite as explicit as Dirty Mind, with its gleeful tales of oral sex, threesomes, and even incest. Certainly, it opened the doors for countless sexually explicit albums, but to reduce its impact to mere profanity is too reductive — the music of Dirty Mind is as shocking as its graphic language, bending styles and breaking rules with little regard for fixed genres. Basing the album on a harder, rock-oriented beat more than before, Prince tries everything — there’s pure new wave pop (“When You Were Mine”), soulful crooning (“Gotta Broken Heart Again”), robotic funk (“Dirty Mind”), rock & roll (“Sister”), sultry funk (“Head,” “Do It All Night”), and relentless dance jams (“Uptown,” “Partyup”), all in the space of half an hour. It’s a breathtaking, visionary album, and its fusion of synthesizers, rock rhythms, and funk set the style for much of the urban soul and funk of the early ’80s.