urban artifacts

Ideas For Modern Day Magical Items/Artifacts Part 2

A rare DVD printing of The Outer Limits Season 3 which, if the right special feature is selected, will make a strange 90s-type CGI man appear on your screen .You can talk to this man, and if you ask him a question, he will give you three answers. Two of them are false, one is true down to the nitty-gritty specifics, all three are equally plausible.

A sniper rifle built out of clock parts whose scope can gaze through time, allowing the user to shoot people in the past or future.

A flavor of microwave Hot Pockets that is repulsive to humans, but delectible to fairies, and can be used in the process of bargaining with, bribing, or trapping them.

A rubber stamp imprinted with the name of God that, when used on any inanimate surface, can allow it to function as a Golem for a short amount of time. Sooner or later the material so-imprinted will eventually implode upon itself in a flash of light, perhaps the universe’s reaction to the blasphemy of reproducing God’s works so crassly.

A plastic ballpit ball that, when tossed while saying a special activation word, creates enough ballpit balls to fill the floor to a depth of three feet in whatever enclosed space it is thrown in. The balls created last for an hour, though they can be re-activated immediately via the original ball after they disappear.

A magic megaphone that amplifies the powers of all verbal spells intoned through it.

A weirdly organic fleshlight that gives birth to a grotesque miniature monster every seven-or-so days. If these monsters are not immediately destroyed, they will quickly escape and grow into creatures almost equivalent to the abominations of Echidna and Typhon, some such examples being the the Mystery Tortoise, the Hindenberd, the Chrome-Catamount That Ate Detroit, the Wolf of K Street, and Omega Phillie Phanatic.

A Desert Eagle whose handle can break through any substance, and which can be thrown and return like Thor’s Hammer. Ironically, it is useless as an actual gun, as the barrel and clip are welded shut and cannot be opened

A bumper sticker reading “The Revolution Will Not Be Televised” that breaks all cameras in a place when placed on the main edifice of said area.

A soda fountain that produces unlimited amounts of defunct soda brands and defunct soda brands only. The flavors available constantly shift as brands go on and off the market.

A Spencers Gifts plasma ball that gives one the power to shoot lwaves of plasma out of their hands for one hour after touching it. The plasma waves faintly produce a smell like a mix between marajuana smoke and used underwear.

An electric guitar that can wake anything that sleeps, including dormant magical abilities/places/items, nearly-defunct organizations, volcanoes and even sometimes gods.

A Go-Bots Rock Lord figure modeled after the Philosophers Stone, known as Alakzoth. He can come to life if transformed properly (No small feat considering that his transformation rivals the complexity of a Lemarchand’s box), and can do tasks for the user, including creating seals to summon or bind and transmuting matter with a touch.

A miniature tank made entirely out of candy. The candy regenerates when damaged, whether by eating or by gunfire, and it shoots boiling; molten sugar, which can cause third degree burns like a tastier form of napalm. It has no engine, but instead a weird reserve of enchanted strawberry pudding that never runs out.

Bittorrent files containing moments in time which one can take use for one’s self. Beware, as if used too often, it will attract the time police, who for some reason happen to look like parasitic sea-sponges attached to the backs of sea-scorpions with hands covered in magic runes.

A region-free handheld game-system-type-device compatible with every type of game cartrigde/disc/digital-storage-medium in existence which can summon the spiritual embodiment of any game placed inside it, for the user to work with as they see fit. There are many iterations of this device in existence, and rumors tell of a worldwide battle tournament for a mysterious Master Prize…

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111 guys who have ruined my life (in alphabetical order) - Jared Leto (59/111)