urahara kiskue

Aizen and Urahara switch bodies


As requested by anon. :)


Aizen:

Urahara:

Aizen: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, URAHARA KISUKE?!

Urahara: W-what makes you think I did this, Aizen?

Aizen: This is not the first time you have sought to imprison me!

Aizen: First you imprisoned me in kido, then in a bondage chair beneath Squad 1, and now you have imprisoned me in a body that has NO hogyoku and PERMANENT HAT HAIR

Aizen (removing hat): Look at this sad excuse for hair, Urahara Kiskue. Look at how it is still shaped like a hat. Look at it.

Aizen: This is your most devilish punishment yet for my so-called crimes.

Urahara:

Urahara: I can’t help but be a little offended.

Aizen: MY GOD EVEN FLUFFING THE HAIR DOESN’T CAUSE IT TO LOSE ITS HAT SHAPE

Aizen: WHAT IS YOUR HAIR EVEN MADE OF

Urahara: Hey!

Urahara: This is no picnic for me either, you know.

Urahara: I mean, your hair lock isn’t even centered over the nose!

Urahara: It keeps falling across my left eye!

Urahara: Doesn’t that drive you nuts?

Aizen: Better than a fat, cleft hairlock over the nose.

Aizen: My real nose is far too perfect to hide.

Aizen: Presumably yours is crooked and covered in warts - I do not even wish to look.

Aizen: And is this…..stubble?

Aizen: You need a better razor, Urahara Kisuke.

Urahara: And you - it seems - actually need glasses.

Urahara: The whole world has gone fuzzy.

Urahara: Why don’t you get contacts or something?

Aizen: The world isn’t as fuzzy as your chin, that’s for sure!

Aizen: You stubbly, wart-nosed shopkeeper!

Urahara: Oooookay.

Urahara: Maybe we should stop deriding each other’s bodies and talk about this.

Urahara: Neither of us wants to be in the other’s body, but since we are, I think we should set some ground rules.

Aizen: I do no follow rules, Urahara Kisuke. I transcend them.

Urahara: I could, if I wanted, take a video of myself in your body right now doing the Macarena and then upload it to youtube with the title, “A Mating Dance for Shinji.”

Aizen: …

Aizen: But rules I set for myself are fine.

Urahara: Okay, first I think we should agree that we won’t try to murder the bodies we are currently in.

Aizen: You cannot murder my body. It is immortal.

Urahara: I might be able to convince the hogyoku inside me that my deepest desire is to be chopped into little pieces, though.

Aizen: Ew.

Aizen: Well, all right. I do not wish to destroy your body, since I am not sure what would happen to my consciousness then.

Aizen:  I mean, what if we both ended up sharing one body?

Aizen: That sounds like the worse torture of all.

Aizen: Speaking of torture, we should also use our combined brainpower to come up with a way out of this mess.

Aizen: By which I mean - work separately, and then I will combine our two ideas into one unified successful whole.

Aizen: As usual.

Urahara: Yes, we should absolutely try to return to our own bodies.

Urahara: Very important, that.

Urahara: But first…

Aizen: Mess with Ichigo a little?

Urahara: It seems wrong not to!

anonymous asked:

I have a very serious question .... What is Kiskue Uraharas Bankai ... I need to see it what is it .....👊

It’s like the Krabby Patty secret formula, we’ll just never know what it is