ur face is offensive

“But you know as well as I, patriotism is a word; and one that generally comes to mean either my country, right or wrong, which is infamous, or my country is always right, which is imbecile.”

- Master and Commander by Patrick O’Brian

Relevant to the current state of the world.

it started when matt had first been recruited to the foxes. he was quieter and he listened, oh he really listened. 
slowly matt’s twitter wsa filled with quotes from his teammates, entertaining to his less than thirty followers, his top tweet being ‘ that’s fucking physics, fucking FUCK YOU PHYSICS ! - coach wymack ’ being one of the top tweets. when allison followed him, she joined in and over all these were some of the favourites collected:

‘ this team makes me want to gargle bleach ‘ - senior goalkeeper joey alaniz

‘ the eggos are on sale, this is the highlight of my entire school career ‘ - junior dealer chloe william

‘ suck my richard joey? ‘ ‘what the fuck has richard ever done to you? ‘ - jamie pax ( s dealer ) @ s goalkeeper joey alaniz 

in reply to @mattboyd ok, but matt,  who tf is richard

in reply to @allisonreyno1ds a good guy can’t you tell allison??

‘ if you get hit down, you sure as shit better get back up! i didn’t raise you to be quitters! ‘ -our loving captain, leo castro

‘ are you ok? u look like ur in pain’ ‘that’s just my face’ ‘oh’ - offensive dealer dan wilds @ the boyd, matt

‘ you guys ate all the fruit and like… i didn’t even know we had any? ’ - senior dealer james mcgregor 

in reply to @allisonreyno1ds but you need to remember, renee apologized and started to cut the guy up more fruit


and allison’s classic snag,

 ‘ guys can you email me the sizes you want for the new team sweaters? ‘
‘ what?? email?? ’
‘ electronic mail u fuck ‘ - coach + freshie backliner matt boyd

“You can post it if u want. I just wanted all of u guys to see it since I worked on it hard. I hope ur smooshed face isn’t like.. Offensive or anything. I just thought it was humorous. Ur face was also the hardest to draw.”

THIS IS AMAZING!!!!!!! Thank you for making this!!!

anonymous asked:

why are you so proud to be fat? I follow you and I like you and stuff but when you post a picture you always tag it happy and fat and stuff. Like no offense cause ur face is really pretty and ur cool but you just seem to flaunt it.

omg this question has actually hurt my head, like straight up you have given me a fucking headache. I’m so angry I cant even…

1. Why shouldn’t I be proud of myself and what I look like? Because I’m fat there should be some extra super special reason?

2. My face is pretty, you got me there. However my tummy is also pretty, my thighs are thick, my hips are wonderful and bitch you wish you could see my ass. So please don’t assume that I should be flattered by the fact you were kind enough to overlook my body because you complimented my face.

3. For years I have been told by strangers, school mates, past partners and family that I should lose weight. It came in different variations from being yelled in my face, whispered in my ear, or brought up at family gatherings. Through all of that I have managed to stay strong, be confident, love myself and most importantly not allow other people to make decisions about my body for me.

For all of that I am pretty damn proud of myself, so ‘no offense’ but kindly fuck right off.