Creepypasta #1081: In My Line Of Work, You'll Learn That Cheaters Never Prosper
Length: Super long
I’ve always found it funny that people like to call prostitution “the world’s oldest profession.” It doesn’t speak all that highly of the human race’s priorities, does it?
Paint on cave walls. Discover fire. Pay someone to fuck you senseless.
Get that in Latin, and we could engrave it at the base of every statue the world over - or better yet, build new statues, all shaped like giant brass cocks at full salute. That’s the human mission statement in a nutshell right there: here, we have two types of animal, the ones with the dicks, and the ones getting fucked by them. And we will always - I repeat, always - be the ones with the dicks.
Yes indeed, the world’s oldest profession. I can think of an older one, but we’ll get to that later.
It’s outside of a motel called Restin’ Easy that we lay our scene. Picture this: a gorgeous woman stands up against a sand-blasted brick wall, dressed to the nines in designer silks and a leather jacket. She’s taking a long, sincere drag off a slender cigarette, and leaving blood-red lipstick rings on the unburnt white paper of the shaft. She’s got the good looks of a 1960s movie star - a regular Audrey Hepburn in the making. Her black hair falls just above her shoulders, and sways gently in the night’s breeze.
The balding middle-aged man in the tan jacket with a face like a slapped ass, that’s Dave. Yeah, Dave with the greasy skin that tosses back the neon rays of the glowing “VACANCY” sign above us. Dave the big spender, flashing the wad of hundreds in his faux-leather wallet.
Dave the asshole. Dave the John.
“Crystal recommended you to me,” He says in an unbearably cocky tone, like I’m a new brand of aftershave he’s been meaning to try out for a while, “She said you do things no other girl will do. That right?”
“More or less.” I say, feigning a provocative grin.
When you’ve been in the business for as long as I have, you get pretty good at sizing up your customers with a glance. Sometimes, it’s necessary to survival - you look the wrong way in this line of work and you’ve got a seven-inch stiletto buried between the links in your spine. Sex does weird shit to people’s heads.
Dave, for all his faults, is easy to read. He wears a look of contempt, like he’s too good for the situation he’s putting himself in. He’s wealthy, and entitled. He doesn’t know why he’s paying for sex - a man of his stature should be beating the ladies off with a stick, surely.
He probably sells used cars for a living, I think, suppressing a smirk.
“What can I do for you that Crystal can’t, sugar?” I ask with an innocent flutter of eyelashes.
He grunts, one side of his mouth curling into a sneer.