upset-by-his-everything

IV. KIERNAN + JUDE

The night was cold, but Jude felt like he was burning. Perhaps it was the adrenaline or maybe just the alcohol. He wasn’t sure what he had gotten himself into this time. He had just been so angry and upset at everything. His knuckles were blood, but that was what you got from punching a wall. It was better than a person, right? Kiernan had a date and he had ruined it. It was a terrible feeling, but he didn’t want to care. He just wanted to go home.

maskedhaert asked:

"You're a failure, you know that? You let your father die. Who else will you let down? Your mother? Albus? Lily? Will they all die because you can't save them?"

“My father was murdered. There was nothing I could have done to stop that, so don’t act like you fucking know anything about me and my family. Ever since Dad died, my family has been in shambles and it’s all I can do to try and make sure that Albus and Lily stay alive. And I don’t need you telling me that I’m not strong enough. I’m not strong enough to reassure them, I’m not strong enough to stop them from self-destructing, I’m not strong enough to do much of anything. You don’t need to tell me something that I’m already painfully aware of but I can’t just stand idly by. They can’t die. They’re too important. Al’s going to be the Minister one day and Lily’s going to be an Auror and I’d be a shitty excuse of an older brother if I don’t do everything I can to make sure that they get there. If I don’t do what I can to protect them, their futures. If I let them down, there’s no point to my existence.”

The past week was… better.  Last Monday, the therapist explained that men’s brains are like boxes, they can put things aside, take off the husband cap, put on the worker cap, etc.  Women’s brains are more like balls of string, everything connected at all times.  I think he put this together with the fact that by the end of each weekday, after being alone with the kids all day, I’ve spent 8-10 hours thinking about everything and upset again.  He started calling during his lunch break to talk and that helped a lot.

Turns out that his boss and I both confronted him about his behavior throughout out course of the last year.  Apparently, the thoughtless, reactive outbursts, the stressed out inability to handle small responsibilities, have not been exclusive to home.  This year has been tremendously challenging, both at work and at home, and he didn’t realize that he wasn’t handling it well.  

We’ve spent a lot of time discussing what the plan is going forward.  He wants to continue therapy.  He didn’t even realize that he was stressed out and lashing out until multiple people pointed it out.  He thinks if he can get more in touch with his emotions, he can recognize it happening before it gets out of hand.  

He’s also going to reframe his job search.  He finally heard me when I said that another big company is not a good idea.  He’s most unhappy when he is coming up against layers of middle management preventing him from creating useful tech.  He’s reaching out to local start-ups.  

It’s the nature of his job and his personality, that he’s going to have periods of insane work schedules.  Many of our biggest fights have directly followed these times.  He neglects our relationship, and then he fucks up big time due to stress, and we buckle under the weight of it.  I’ve tried picking up the slack for him, but the more I give to him, the more he gives to his job.   So we are working out some mandatory minimums.  No matter how busy, he has to spend 20 minutes per day with me.  No matter how distracted, we have to have sex twice a week.  I think I’m going to add that he has to take two weeks off of work each year.  He’s entitled to 5 weeks paid vacation and he doesn’t come close to using it.  At this point, he has eight weeks saved up (the most they allow) and the rest is rolling off, unused and unpaid.

We’ve been working on our communication patterns, too.  He’s the type who wants to discuss everything before forming on opinion.  I’m the type to ruminate internally, form an opinion, then talk about it.  He said he wishes that I would talk to him first before forming an opinion, because he feels left out of my decision making process.  I told him that he should have married someone else if he wanted a woman without opinions.  He realized how unreasonable his request was and we came down to this: I will accept that he needs to talk about things from all angles and I will not take it personally or too seriously when he is picking things apart.  He will accept that my intuitive nature means that I come to a conversation with an opinion already formed, but that doesn’t mean I can’t change my mind.

If all of this sounds exhausting, it’s because it is.  The marriage counselor gave us the task of reimagining our future and right now that means finding the weak spots of our marriage and addressing them.  Everything has taken a back seat.  I need to get back to real life soon.  I need to get ready to homeschool M’s first grade year.  I need to get back to having fun with my kids.  I need to get back to taking care of myself.  I need to get back to the other relationships in my life.  I guess I just need my life back in general.  A better version of it, I hope.

generalyen asked:

◔ younger version of my muse

There was a small boy wandering around the gardens, looking rather lost and well on his way to getting upset. His wide blue eyes stared at everything he came across, and his small fingers were knotted in the sleeves of his coat as he sought whatever small comfort he could find.

When his wanderings took him into a man’s leg, he stumbled back, then looked up. No words left his mouth, but his wondering gaze held an obvious question.

Who are you?

anonymous asked:

Prumano,gerita or spamano

Holy potatoes, anon, you know I’m always a slut for Gerita (though if people want to send me the others separately I’d gladly do them).

  • who the fuck put the peeps in the microwave
    • Italy. Do you seriously think Germany would do such a thing? Of course, when they eventually explode because Italy put them in the microwave too long Germany is the one stuck cleaning up the mess. Labor of love (for a certain Italian), I guess. :3

  • who forgot to put the cat outside before sex
    • Germany. Italy would never want to destroy Pookie’s innocence like that. And anyways we know Germany would forget to shut the door in the heat of the moment. 

  • who posts vines of the other doing embarrassing shit
    • Italy. Of course it is Italy. But Italy doesn’t realize why it upsets Germany so much because he just wants to share everything about his day (with Germany) with the other countries, even if it involves Germany cooking dinner in a frilly apron (What? The plain one was dirty and Italy happened to have one of Hungary’s old aprons hanging around. It’s practical. Italy loved it so he loved it too.)

  • who breaks the most phones
    • Italy. Two fell in the toilet, one in a fountain in Berlin somewhere, and he somehow ran over one with his own car. Germany insists on holding / carrying his phone 90% of the time now when it’s not in use.

  • who dies first
    • They are countries, what is death? Germany. All work and no play isn’t good for your immune system, kids. And we know how much hard work it takes keeping Italy alive. “Germany, I’m in North Africa and my shoelaces are untied!”

  • which one I could see as being lactose intollerant
    • Germany. Italy is just glad he isn’t allergic to tomatoes. Now that would be tragic. But how did he get so big and strong without milk??

  • who thinks they can do something really well even though they can’t
    • Well, we all know Italy thinks he can drive really well, but he almost snapped Japan’s neck. Of course there was also the time that Germany decided to follow the GPS over, you know, NOT driving into buildings so I think we have a tie in this regard. But Germany still drives most of the time, as Italy is easily distracted.

  • who is more likely to get kicked out of the bed
    • Germany. Italy sprawls out late at night, but at least they manage to get cuddle time before they both fall asleep :p Italy is also a blanket hog.

  • who uses the computer most
    • Germany. He works a lot, although Italy is always whining that he needs to use the computer to update his blog (yes I saw that fanart) and to look up new recipes online. Italy can’t do his own thing on his phone, of course, because the kid can’t keep a smartphone unbroken for more than a week.

Send me a ship!

anonymous asked:

It makes me depressed to remember the friends with benefits with this guy (no vaginal/anal sex but other stuff), multiple kisses/twerking on random guys, reckless behavior I had because now I have a boyfriend and I was his first for everything. It makes me upset to remember my recklessness and wish I could've met my boyfriend first. Wish he was my first too. But then maybe I would take him for granted. This still doesn't help my mood. Please give me advice.

Recklessness plays a part in the discovery of self. You have been reckless and now you know where to draw the line. You were reckless before because you didn’t know where the line needed to be drawn. Without this you wouldn’t know what behaviors are considered reckless to YOU. Now you know your limits. If your boyfriend was your first you wouldn’t know but you’d crave to know. Thus you’d feel like you were missing out. Now you know you aren’t. Rejoice because you know what it means to appreciate what you have without getting wondering eyes. 

image

J Cole last night was amazing!
His vibe is everything 💗
I low key got upset that he said the same exact shit at every concert on his tour between songs. Like word for word. Saw all the shit you guys quoted him on from each concert.
But nonetheless, the performance was awesome and he was great and so fine my goodness 😍

if they (the store managers) at the King Soopers I’m working at fire my only friend Lonnie for accidentally making an honest mistake and not getting some store keys back to Asa right away I will tell them to let me go too since if he’s not there all of the joy will have gone out of working at that “friendly” store with its “friendly” atmosphere. 

Cedwick - Cute things

           Baileywick, whenever Cedric gets nervous, gently reaches out for and grabs Cedric’s hand and squeezes it lightly, just to remind the sorcerer that he’ll do great.

·         Cedric, tidies Baileywick’s room when he gets in from a day of work, so the Steward can rest.

·         Baileywick loves Cedric’s scruffy hair before he tidies it.

·         Cedric can cook really well and is very good at food magic. However, he prefers the way Baileywick cooks.

·         Whenever Cedric gets upset, Baileywick is always there with open arms. It’s rare, but when Baileywick gets upset, Cedric just cuddles up to him, and listens to everything his partner says.

(Just things I can imagine them doing)

i’m making a halloween playlist (yes in august. i have no life) for my sister’s halloween party- but there’s gonna be kids at the party so i can’t put spooky Type O Negative songs in it about how Peter Steele wants to put his dick in everything

i am UPSET

Why do I call myself selfish when I’m not…I literally stopped doing my essay bc David said he was lonely and then stopped doing it again because rob was upset and dropped literally everything and went to his house and stayed up all night to make sure he slept alright and so I’d be up if he needed me. I’m so kind and I’m a very good friend and I really do care about the people in my life and everyone who was in it at one point even if it was years ago. I’m not a bad person, I’m actually a very good one and I’ve just had way too many fair weather friends when I’ve never been like that and I shouldn’t internalize the way people treat me because I am very kind and it’s not my fault people take advantage of that and I’m proud of myself for staying kind

I am heartbroken ……. As he sat there alone and shivering he wandered “what did I do? Where did I go wrong?” Slowly the rain ceased and he whispered to himself as a tear rolled down his cheek, “everything…” #sad #upset #dark #demon #death #angel #heartless #pain #cuts #bruises #drowning

💐🌻💐🌻💐🌻
so after some take out, late last night Chris and I decided to go to make one last stop, 15 minutes before close we walk into the store and he knows exactly where he’s going… and he stopped in the flower department 💐😍👌
He even searched the floor for my ALL TIME favourite, lilies.
Super kudos 😍😍❤️❤️💯💯💯
I owe it to this man, I owe him A LOT
I’ve been so upset lately, and he’s done everything in his power to make me happy, to put a smile on my face 🙈🙈 🙋❤️👉 @beinspiredbychris 🌍🌏🌎🔁 x1⃣0⃣0⃣ by corrilove http://ift.tt/1hyGiJd

anonymous asked:

hi can i please have a ship? my name's ven, im 5'0" with dark (long) hair and eyes. im pretty quiet around people im not familiar with. i become pretty talkative after feeling comfortable around someone im a very affectionate person? i like leaning against my friends and holding hands just for the hell of it. i have a knack for falling for anyone within my line of sight and am a terribly hopeless romantic. i tend to not speak as much when im sad. i also become very cold when im angry. tysm :00

I ship you with Bucky.

As Bucky slowly went back to being more like his old self, he got more comfortable with people in general. He loves to throw an arm around you or hug you whenever he gets the chance. When you get sad, although you might resist, he’ll poke and prod at you until you tell him why you’re upset. Afterwards, he does everything in his power to stop what’s hurting you. In an instance that it’s a person, it usually takes a solid half an hour to convince him not to kill them.

merrillisms asked:

“Some things are more precious because they don’t last long.”

he furrows his brow, looking upset at the memory. But everything lasts too short. I barely have any reference. I barely got my vallaslin by the time I–left.

He rubs the back of his neck, avoiding her eyes and pulling together a small smile. But–that’s true, I’d suppose. His cheeks are a bit pink.