I Wish I Could Go Back In Time And Tell Myself I Deserve More. And I Dont Have To Be The Girl Who Puts Up With Being Used And Played. And That I Am Allowed To Be Strong. And To Not Care About What People Say Or Think. To Tell Myself To Stand Up For Myself And To Speak Up When I Didnt Like Something Instead Of Putting Up With All The Bullshit And Letting Ppl Walk All Over Me. I Should Have Been Much Stronger. Because Now… Right Now Im Breaking Down….

Depression makes me lie. Depression makes me immobile. It makes me a prisoner in my own body. I know I want to do things, but my depression wants to sleep. Hibernate. Shut down. My depression is heavy. I’m stuck. Flat. Ashamed. Trapped. Unmotivated. I enjoyed this, I remember. But my depression only enjoys my eyes closed because even the easiest of tasks seems like a mountain to climb.
—  K.a.d.

Topping charts across the Atlantic, casting aside Bieber and Adele in his wake, Brendon Urie is on a charge. Panic! At The Disco’s new album ‘Death of a Bachelor’ is a 5* certified banger factory. For February’s Upset cover feature, we get inside the head of the crazy genius behind it all with a Really Very In-Depth Indeed interview. Seriously – you could probably get away with submitting it as a dissertation on the modern pop star, if only it wasn’t so – y’know – incredibly interesting.

Some nights
the urge to kiss you
and the desperation for your lips
are so bad,
I have to bite my nails
and at my fingertips
just to calm the need.
—  I miss you
I now understand why hurricanes and storms are named after people. Although we haven’t spoken in well over three months, I’m still not the same girl I was before you came into my life and destroyed me like a hurricane destroys everything in its path, and I don’t think I ever will be that girl again.
—  An excerpt from a book I’ll never write (#1)