Sunday night I went to bed at 11, and woke up at 3, could not go back to sleep for the life of me, so I caught up on tumblr, and talked to Christian on skype til like 7AM.
Last night (monday) I fell asleep at 9, and woke up at 12… wtf. I didn’t want to deal with not being able to sleep, so I took a melatonin pill… It’s almost 2, and I still can’t sleep.
My DV-R decided to stop recording things, and erased everything I had prior to 2011, so I have nothing to catch up on, either. I never realized how boring being upstate was. All my friends are busy a lot, too… I am kind of glad that I moved into the city. Even on days where there’s nothing to do, there’s something I can do.
In ways that I have never had to fight for stillness in my life, I have to fight for it in New York City.
New York is one of the most magical places I have ever experienced. If you are dreamer and a doer, a mover and a shaker; it is the place for you to make your dreams a reality. Because the pace of life is so fast, there are times where I feel like if I’m not careful I will blink and 10 years will have flown past me.
So much of the time I love this about the city. The opportunity. The type of people that the city lures. The passionate world changing movers and shakers. The creative energy is magnetic.
There’s a but, and it’s an important one.
I believe stillness to be a powerful practice in life, and I’m the type of person that needs nature in my life to not only function but thrive. Stillness in the city is never an accident; like anything we truly value in our lives it must be ardently fought for.
So this means that sometimes on a random Friday I ditch work with my friends and drive upstate, even if it means we’re in the car for longer than we're outside. We go anyways, because our souls need it. We hop in a rental car, or a borrowed car, and we put on music and you we road trip snacks, and we get out of town for that hour or two or three of social media free/subway free/stree free nature.
I’m grateful that I have friends that value stillness, and nature, and road trip playlists, and Cheetohs, and rolling around in the grass, and running through fields on a freezing cold Friday afternoon.
Reverie – synonyms: absorption, abstraction, castles in the air……..
Just back into the city after a blissful few days up country, dog-sitting for friends in their wonderful house by a lake - that is, the lake being at the bottom of their garden.
What a contrast, being back in the noise-polluted streets of NY city from the tranquility of the countryside…..where we were surrounded by woods, wildlife, star-filled night skies, the full moon reflecting off the lake, and…….a quiet stillness at night, until the dawn chorus sets off and the woods and lake come alive once again.
Back to the city and the constant drone of the huge air-conditioning units around the apartment block, the cacophony of the 24/7 traffic, horns blaring down 6th Avenue. I lie there at night waiting for the blissful few minutes when the air conditioning is re-booting, wishing that I could fall asleep in those brief moments and escape the constant electronically-induced hum. The white noise of the city.
So, it begs the question: why do we choose to place ourselves in situations where there seems to be no respite from the perpetual drone of city life? Is it to distract us from standing still and really looking at ourselves? Do we think that we are missing out if we are not in the hub of it all - whatever ‘it’ is?
Would living in the country eventually present its own version of that perpetual drone? Quite possibly…..but then I’d rather take a chance, even in these uncertain financial times, and build my castle in the sky, surrounded by the constant hum of nature, over the oppressive concrete canyons of a city any day. Or, better still, a tree-house in the bush, by the balong, in West Africa……however, thats another story…..
But then……..I always have been a country girl at heart so why fight it.
HJF (May 2010, but could have been written yesterday!)
Time to finish packing, cleaning and doing laundry before going to pick up our car from being serviced! Then we just have to ship Aidan off to Avia’s, make our dinner, snacks for the road, wash the car and take our showers before we are off! Excited to visit Pocahontas state park in VA tomorrow! :D