up in my room

Pick me out

Friday night while hubby and sons were at the basketball games in the city.  I was working “overtime” at the store with Teddy.  After we closed Teddy was going to take me out for dinner when his friend Matt showed up.  The 3 of use had a nice dinner at the Marriott and then they took me up to a room.  In the room they took turns one fucking my pussy the other getting blowjobs, I took each one in the mouth then got them hard again and after teddy filled my pussy Matt took his turn and as teddy said he topped my off.  I came 3 times with them.  We went out to the parking lot and after Matt drove away teddy took me home.   On the way home he was saying who cock do you love, making me say how much i love his cock and the way he uses me.  After a while Teddy joked and said your are so horny for cock i bet you couldn’t even tell what cock is mine.  I told him how great his cock felt and can tell.   He dropped me off back at the store and i drove home that night completely satisfied.  Sunday afternoon i was home relaxing some great alone time as Hubby and the boys were  back to the city for basketball games.  I was laying in the sofa watching TV when the doorbell rang.  I got up and it was Teddy, i immediately got wet.  He came in and gave me a nice big kiss,  and told me he was thinking about the ride home Friday and still thinking that I  couldnt tell his cock. When i told him i could he said let see and told me to strip and go up on my bed.  I did exactly what he said and went upstairs and got ready for him.  He took a while to get up stairs but when he did i went right for his pants and for his cock.  He stopped me and said let see if you can and he took out a blindfold and put it on me and told me to sit on the edge of the bed.  Then it got hot, i heard teddy and then others whispering , teddy stood in front of me and said lets see if you can pick out my cock.  and the next thing i knew there was a nice hard cock rubbing on my lips.  I started sucking and knew right away it wasn’t Teddy uncut cock.  After he came in mouth the next one got in front of me.  I ended up sucking 5 cocks and knew that teddy was the 4th cock.  He said it was easy with blowjobs and then told me to get on all fours on the bed and one by one they fucked me doggie.  i came a lot while they took turns fucking me, but after they were all done,  it was close between the 1st and 3rd cock but i figured teddy would go 1st and i was right.  i fell on the bed after the last one came.  and just laid there exhausted for a few minutes.  When i sat up teddy took off the blindfold and when I looked around all his friends were gone.  Teddy then said he was wrong and that i really did love his cock.  I got up and there was a big wet spot on the bed and teddy told me not to clean it until tomorrow since it was on hubby side of the bed.  We went back down stairs and i expected to see all his friends but everyone left.  I asked teddy who was it and he would not tell me.  He said just keep wondering but then he said it cold be anyone and 3 of them were new cocks.  After he left I took a shower but i couldn’t stop thinking who it was i sucked and fucked that afternoon.

how I stay focused while I study/do my homework!

It’s one thing to start homework and studying, but to stay focused is another thing. Here are some things that work for me!

  • Before I start anything, I tidy up my room! 
    • I know I won’t be able to stay focused if my room isn’t clean, so before I even sit down I make sure everything is in it’s place. I keep my room pretty neat, so this takes about 15 minutes. If I didn’t do this my OCD would kick in and I’d find myself getting up every 5 minutes to put something away.
  • Grab everything I need
    • Again, before starting anything I make sure I have everything in arm’s distance. I make sure I have pens, pencils, calculator, books, etc. I hate when I’m in my groove and then have to get up to find something.
  • Keep a drink near by
    • I usually have something to sip on, tea, juice, water, etc. When I feel myself starting to fidget, I just take a quick drink and I’m ready to go again. Plus, it’s so important to stay hydrated!! 
  • Take a break!
    • When I feel myself really starting to fidget I take a break. I go talk to someone in my family, pet my dog, check instagram, go into my kitchen and eat a snack, doodle, anything really. If I do work for an hour straight, I usually take about a 10 minute break. After this, it’s right back to work!
  • Light a candle 
    • I always have a candle lit or have my diffuser with my essential oils going. My favorite is lavender! When I smell a good smell it keeps my alert and focused.
  • Music?
    • I know many people aren’t too sure of this and like to study in silence, but me personally I like to have music playing in the background VERY low. I find that silence is more distracting. But if you like silence, then go for it! Whatever works for you.
  • Planning, planning, planning!
    • I always plan out my study schedule/assignments. This is a little bit less stressful. For example, I have physics assignments about every week with 10 questions, so each day I try to do about 1-3 problems (doesn’t seem like too much, but depending on the topic they can take me about 15 minutes each).
    • I always set a stopping point so I have an endpoint and I’m not just doing work aimlessly, like copying my biology notes. Instead of just going until I feel like stopping, I’ll set an endpoint, like the end of the powerpoint or a slide number, this way I know how much I have to do. 
    • Planning everything out is also better in the long run. I set little due dates for myself (that aren’t real) to help me stay on top of my assignments. Oh, and it is so nice when it’s the day before the assignments due and you aren’t even worried because you had it completed two days ago. 
    • It’s easier to do a little each day than to cram everything the day before. I know after 3 hours of studying/doing the assignment I’m not even paying attention, I’m just going through the motions of doing work. 
  • Take a deep breath!! You’ve got this ♡ 

So this is somethings that I do! If you would like to try them out I would love to know how they work for you! Everyone is different, so stick to what works for you! Thanks for reading :) x

I heard Joey outside my door and opened it to find him shaking, he obvi wanted some comfort but he’s so well trained to not go in my room that he got up and started to walk in then just froze in my doorway and it took so much convincing to get him to come in. When he did he sniffed around a little and I showed him my bed which he thought was pretty cool and relaxed quite a bit. When he decided he was ready to go back out he grabbed a wool ball from my needle felt basket and set it in my lap then took a needle felted triceratops I made and trotted away.

Dave Heath     Poets Leroi Jones and Allen Ginsberg, 7 Arts Coffee Gallery, New York City     1959

Lately, I’ve become accustomed to the way
The ground opens up and envelopes me
Each time I go out to walk the dog.
Or the broad edged silly music the wind
Makes when I run for a bus…

Things have come to that.

And now, each night I count the stars.
And each night I get the same number.
And when they will not come to be counted,
I count the holes they leave.

Nobody sings anymore.

And then last night I tiptoed up
To my daughter’s room and heard her
Talking to someone, and when I opened
The door, there was no one there…
Only she on her knees, peeking into

Her own clasped hands

–Leroi Jones, “Preface to a 20 Volume Suicide Note” 1961


For Naomi Ginsberg, 1894-1956

Strange now to think of you, gone without corsets & eyes, while I walk on
  the sunny pavement of Greenwich Village.
downtown Manhattan, clear winter noon, and I’ve been up all night, talking,
  talking, reading the Kaddish aloud, listening to Ray Charles blues
  shout blind on the phonograph
the rhythm the rhythm–and your memory in my head three years after–
  And read Adonais’ last triumphant stanzas aloud–wept, realizing
  how we suffer–
And how Death is that remedy all singers dream of, sing, remember,
  prophesy as in the Hebrew Anthem, or the Buddhist Book of An-
  swers–and my own imagination of a withered leaf–at dawn–
Dreaming back thru life, Your time–and mine accelerating toward Apoca-
the final moment–the flower burning in the Day–and what comes after,
looking back on the mind itself that saw an American city
a flash away, and the great dream of Me or China, or you and a phantom
  Russia, or a crumpled bed that never existed–
like a poem in the dark–escaped back to Oblivion–
No more to say, and nothing to weep for but the Beings in the Dream,
  trapped in its disappearance,
sighing, screaming with it, buying and selling pieces of phantom, worship-
  ping each other,
worshipping the God included in it all–longing or inevitability?–while it
  lasts, a Vision–anything more?
It leaps about me, as I go out and walk the street, look back over my shoulder,
  Seventh Avenue, the battlements of window office buildings shoul-
  dering each other high, under a cloud, tall as the sky an instant–and
  the sky above–an old blue place.
or down the Avenue to the south, to–as I walk toward the Lower East Side
  –where you walked 50 years ago, little girl–from Russia, eating the
  first poisonous tomatoes of America frightened on the dock
then struggling in the crowds of Orchard Street toward what?–toward
toward candy store, first home-made sodas of the century, hand-churned ice
  cream in backroom on musty brownfloor boards–
Toward education marriage nervous breakdown, operation, teaching school,
  and learning to be mad, in a dream–what is this life?
Toward the Key in the window–and the great Key lays its head of light
  on top of Manhattan, and over the floor, and lays down on the
  sidewalk–in a single vast beam, moving, as I walk down First toward
  the Yiddish Theater–and the place of poverty
you knew, and I know, but without caring now–Strange to have moved
  thru Paterson, and the West, and Europe and here again,
with the cries of Spaniards now in the doorstops doors and dark boys on
  the street, firs escapes old as you
–Tho you’re not old now, that’s left here with me–
Myself, anyhow, maybe as old as the universe–and I guess that dies with
  us–enough to cancel all that comes–What came is gone forever
  every time–
That’s good!  That leaves it open for no regret–no fear radiators, lacklove,
  torture even toothache in the end–
Though while it comes it is a lion that eats the soul–and the lamb, the soul,
  in us, alas, offering itself in sacrifice to change’s fierce hunger–hair
  and teeth–and the roar of bonepain, skull bare, break rib, rot-skin,
  braintricked Implacability.
Ai! ai!  we do worse! We are in a fix!  And you’re out, Death let you out,
  Death had the Mercy, you’re done with your century, done with
  God, done with the path thru it–Done with yourself at last–Pure
  –Back to the Babe dark before your Father, before us all–before the
There, rest.  No more suffering for you.  I know where you’ve gone, it’s good.
No more flowers in the summer fields of New York, no joy now, no more
  fear of Louis,
and no more of his sweetness and glasses, his high school decades, debts,
  loves, frightened telephone calls, conception beds, relatives, hands–
No more of sister Elanor,–she gone before you–we kept it secret you
  killed her–or she killed herself to bear with you–an arthritic heart
  –But Death’s killed you both–No matter–
Nor your memory of your mother, 1915 tears in silent movies weeks and
  weeks–forgetting, agrieve watching Marie Dressler address human-
  ity, Chaplin dance in youth,
or Boris Godunov, Chaliapin’s at the Met, halling his voice of a weeping Czar
  –by standing room with Elanor & Max–watching also the Capital
  ists take seats in Orchestra, white furs, diamonds,
with the YPSL’s hitch-hiking thru Pennsylvania, in black baggy gym skirts
  pants, photograph of 4 girls holding each other round the waste, and
  laughing eye, too coy, virginal solitude of 1920
all girls grown old, or dead now, and that long hair in the grave–lucky to
  have husbands later–
You made it–I came too–Eugene my brother before (still grieving now and
  will gream on to his last stiff hand, as he goes thru his cancer–or kill
  –later perhaps–soon he will think–)
And it’s the last moment I remember, which I see them all, thru myself, now
  –tho not you
I didn’t foresee what you felt–what more hideous gape of bad mouth came
  first–to you–and were you prepared?
To go where?  In that Dark–that–in that God? a radiance? A Lord in the
  Void?  Like an eye in the black cloud in a dream?  Adonoi at last, with
Beyond my remembrance! Incapable to guess! Not merely the yellow skull
  in the grave, or a box of worm dust, and a stained ribbon–Deaths-
  head with Halo?  can you believe it?
Is it only the sun that shines once for the mind, only the flash of existence,
  than none ever was?
Nothing beyond what we have–what you had–that so pitiful–yet Tri-
to have been here, and changed, like a tree, broken, or flower–fed to the
  ground–but made, with its petals, colored, thinking Great Universe,
  shaken, cut in the head, leaf stript, hid in an egg crate hospital, cloth
  wrapped, sore–freaked in the moon brain, Naughtless.
No flower like that flower, which knew itself in the garden, and fought the
Cut down by an idiot Snowman’s icy–even in the Spring–strange ghost
  thought some–Death–Sharp icicle in his hand–crowned with old
  roses–a dog for his eyes–cock of a sweatshop–heart of electric
All the accumulations of life, that wear us out–clocks, bodies, consciousness,
  shoes, breasts–begotten sons–your Communism–‘Paranoia’ into
You once kicked Elanor in the leg, she died of heart failure later.  You of
  stroke.  Asleep?  within a year, the two of you, sisters in death.  Is
  Elanor happy?
Max grieves alive in an office on Lower Broadway, lone large mustache over
  midnight Accountings, not sure.  His life passes–as he sees–and
  what does he doubt now?  Still dream of making money, or that might
  have made money, hired nurse, had children, found even your Im-
  mortality, Naomi?
I’ll see him soon.  Now I’ve got to cut through to talk to you as I didn’t
  when you had a mouth.
Forever.  And we’re bound for that, Forever like Emily Dickinson’s horses
  –headed to the End.
They know the way–These Steeds–run faster than we think–it’s our own
  life they cross–and take with them.

  Magnificent, mourned no more, marred of heart, mind behind, mar-
ried dreamed, mortal changed–Ass and face done with murder.
  In the world, given, flower maddened, made no Utopia, shut under
pine, almed in Earth, blamed in Lone, Jehovah, accept.
  Nameless, One Faced, Forever beyond me, beginningless, endless,
Father in death.  Tho I am not there for this Prophecy, I am unmarried, I’m
hymnless, I’m Heavenless, headless in blisshood I would still adore
  Thee, Heaven, after Death, only One blessed in Nothingness, not
light or darkness, Dayless Eternity–
  Take this, this Psalm, from me, burst from my hand in a day, some
of my Time, now given to Nothing–to praise Thee–But Death
  This is the end, the redemption from Wilderness, way for the Won-
derer, House sought for All, black handkerchief washed clean by weeping
–page beyond Psalm–Last change of mine and Naomi–to God’s perfect
Darkness–Death, stay thy phantoms!

–Allen Ginsberg, “Kaddish, Pt. 1″  1961

anonymous asked:

Gladnis <3


Gladio’s eyes flashed up to the far side of the room. “Huh? Did you say my name?”

“No, I said Gladnis.”

Gladio narrowed his eyes at the blond who was currently standing in the doorway of the small apartment, gazing at him and Ignis who were comfortably situated on the couch. The two exchanged glances as Prompto continued to stare at them.

“Right. Glad you know that word, Prompto.” Gladio responded gruffly, shifting his head from where it laid in Ignis’s lap while he flipped the next page of his book.

“Are you happy about something, Prompto?” Ignis asked, taking a sip from his mug as he fanned out the reports in his hand.

The blond let out a small chuckle and placed his hands on his hips. “No - I’m saying Glad-nis. As in Gladio and Ignis. That’s your ship name.”

Silence filled the room while Gladio exchanged an upside down glance with Ignis. The two blinked for a moment before Gladio furrowed his brow at the blond. “Um. Okay.”

“Our ship name?” Ignis asked, staring pointedly at the young man who was currently stifling his laughter with his hand.

“Yeah! Like - relationship. It’s cute - ‘cause it’s like - gladness and Gladnis - ya know?”

Again, the two continued to simply blink - slightly deadpan - at Prompto.

“Whelp - that’s that! Night!” And just as suddenly as he came, the blond vanished behind the door with a soft slam.

The two sat on the couch, blinking after the the vanished image of their companion.

“Well…alright, then.” Ignis said after a long pause, resuming his task of reviewing the council notes.

“Yeah…” Gladio hummed, his fingers playing with the page of the book - but a small smile came to his lips after a minute.

“Heh…it is kinda cute, though.”

He chuckled as Ignis allowed the papers to come down to softly whap his face.

Totally cute.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS! :D :D :D :D :D GLAAADDDNIIIS FOROROOROEEEVVEVEVEVERRR!! I will seriously drown in Gladnis hell for the rest of my life - not even kidding.

*passes out*

The sirens, seagulls, and the rain
Are almost close enough to touch,
And through my stippled windowpane
They beg my tangled heart to blush.

(I glance away and to my right –
To see you, curled up, sleeping tight.)

In my room, and out the way,
Our coats and bags are tangled up,
And while above, the sky bleeds grey,
Here on earth, my heart erupts.

(I glance away and to my right –
To see you, rolling, out of sight.)

The sirens, seagulls, and the rain
Are almost close enough to touch.
But closer still, a single thought:
I love you very, very much.