unsanitary tw

every sonic game
  • Villain: I am going to rip you apart limb from limb, you little bitch. I'm going to fucking murder you. I want you feel nothing but the most excruciating pain possible. When I am done with you, your friends are going to have to carry you to your grave, piece by piece. And then when you are buried, I will proceed piss all over your grave. You are fucking dead, hedgehog. I will tear your eyes out of your eyesockets and use them as ornaments on my Christmas tree.
  • Sonic: aw heckie yeah dude!!! sweet!!!!! sounds like a party!!!!!!!! can't wait!!!!!!! radical!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • brain: you have to pee
  • body: yeah
  • brain: so..get .... get up
  • body: nah no thanks
  • brain: buddy you have to
  • body: nope
  • brain: it's been 10 minutes please
  • body: yeah okay
  • body: *stands up*
  • brain: good! bathroom now please it's been 20 minutes now
  • body: i cant move
  • brain: nonononono no dont you dare do this ag-
  • body: *sits back down*

anonymous asked:

are kid who eat tide pods valid?

I think they’re more valid than the kids from a few years ago who soaked tampons in vodka and shoved them up their butts to ‘get drunk’, less valid than the kids from when I was in middle school who made it so trendy to drink hand sanitizer that students were banned from bringing Germ-X to school because it was feared we would be doing shots of it at recess, and on equal levels of validness of those kids who sprayed lysol and raid up their noses to get high so like…take from that what you will.

(but seriously though, my pals - please don’t eat tide pods. even if you bite into them as a ‘joke’ your body doesn’t understand humor and does not realize the difference between poison you ingest as a way to freak out your friends and poison of any other kind, and tide pods are really poisonous in the sense that they can and will kill you and life is just already too difficult without adding internal bleeding you purposefully inflicted on yourself for the lulz into the mix.)

anonymous asked:

Please help scraappy dappy doo personally came in and pissed on all of my crops and now they yell dated memes at night and it keeps me and my family of 23 awake all evening and I tried to take him to kin court for being problematic but his kins were stronge r thsn mine then I finally tried to cock my gun and aim it at him but he said 'Any last worms?' and broke my arm pwease mw owbama i am begging youw

I hate that I can decipher everything you just said. I will not help you because you made me read this.