me as a double agent working on behalf of the chads & all women, infiltrating my way into r/incel: “if we all buy this fleshlight, there’s literally no need to talk to or interact with women or exist anywhere near women and also we never need to leave your - I mean our - house ever again.”

It’s recently come to my attention that not too many people know this, so: if you’re in the habit of sitting in front of your computer while minimally dressed, you should be washing your chair with strong disinfectant soap on a regular basis. Fabric saturated with ground-in skin oil is a breeding ground for all sorts of nasty stuff; if your back and thighs keep having acne breakouts no matter how diligently you shower, and you can’t figure out why, the reason may be because you’re sitting in a filthy chair!

(The same goes if your forearms keep mysteriously breaking out and your chair has armrests that are covered in fabric or otherwise porous.)

An accounting of the day of top surgery:

  • I had to stop eating and drinking at 8pm the night before for a surgery scheduled at noon the next day.
  • I showered in the morning, but I was told not to put on any lotion or deodorant or anything so I didn’t, and then I had to put an anti-nausea patch behind my ear before we left the hotel. I brought the medicines I was prescribed just in case I needed them.
  • My mom and I arrived about 10 minutes early, and about 1 and a half hours before the surgery. We sat in the waiting room for a bit, and I got a wristband with my name and birthdate and stuff on it.
  • I didn’t have much paperwork to do because they had gone over that with us yesterday in the pre-op appointment, and over the phone and email in the course of the month leading up to the surgery date. They also gave me a post-op binder to wear a few days after the surgery if I didn’t like the ace bandage, and took my before pictures during the pre-op.
  • I had to take off all my jewelry, which meant 3 rings for me. One of the ring was the one my partner gave me, and it was stuck on my finger because I don’t take it off often and I guess my finger has grown and we had to use lotion to get it off!
  • They left my mom in the waiting room and I had to pee in a cup in the bathroom, which was a little worrying because I wasn’t allowed to eat or drink since 8 pm the night before and it was noon of the next day and I had used the bathroom before leaving the hotel so I was worried there wouldn’t be any in me but it was okay.
  • Then the nurse took me back to a different room, and I changed into a hospital gown and put on tight compression socks then got in a rollaway bed. She chatted with me as she did my blood pressure with the cuff, took my temperature, and asked if I had any allergies or if i had gotten surgery before.
  • I had a squeezey thing on each of my legs sort of like a blood pressure cuff to keep my circulation going well during the surgery. It didn’t hurt, but it was a bit of an odd sensation.
  • The nurse wanted to put the IV in, but I’m very nervous about that that type of thing although I’d never had an IV before so I asked her if she could bring my mom in for moral support, so my mom came. I also got my iPhone and earbuds and listened to my music to help distract me while I held on to my mom’s hand.
  • The nurse was going to put the IV in my hand, but she changed her mind and put it in the crook of my arm because I was anxious about it. The reason she’d put it in the hand usually is because you can move around more that way, and if it’s in your arm you have to keep your arm out straight and relatively still. I was pretty freaked out, but it didn’t hurt much and just putting in the IV was the most anxious or upset I felt during the whole thing.
  • Then the nurse showed us the drains and explained how they worked and stuff. She also went over the post-op instructions and medications.
  • She brought a thing where you were supposed to suck the air in to raise up a stick in it, but I wasn’t able to get it to raise high enough. They gave it to me to take back with us, and said I was supposed to try doing it 9 times an hour after the surgery to keep my lungs from getting collapsed because being in an ace makes it hard to take deep breaths and then the lung things can rub against each other and get irritated and cause pneumonia.
  • The anesthesiologist came and asked me if I had any allergies to medicine, and asked if I did drugs or drank alcohol (which I don’t) and if anyone in my family ever had an issue with anesthesia in the past. He also said that I’d have a breathing tube in during the surgery, which took about 3 hours, and that he’d take it out after and I’d be awake for it but not remember it at all, which is true.
  • A new nurse came in who introduced herself as the nurse who would be there during the whole surgery. She asked me what procedure I was getting, and I said top surgery. I was a bit worried that she didn’t know what was going on, but she had been asking to check with me to be sure we were all on the same page, like a last minute consent check. She told me that the lights would be bright in the operating room, but I don’t remember being in there.
  • Then Dr. Steinwald came in, and I got out of the bed and he drew on my chest with a marker to show me what it would look like after surgery and to give himself an idea of what was being cut where. Then I got back into bed.
  • The anesthesiologist told me that I’d be given Valium in my IV so I would be relaxed but conscious, and then I’d be wheeled to the operating room where I’d have to switch out of the bed and take off the gown and breathe in oxygen from a mask that smelled like a beach ball.
  • I don’t actually remember even leaving the room where I was with my mom, let alone going to the operating room or switching beds or anything. The next thing I knew, it was a few hours later and I was half-asleep in a different room with my mom there.
  • I was wrapped in an ace bandage that I have to keep on for a few more days before I can switch to a compression vest, and I had two drains in.
  • I was pretty nauseous despite the anti-nausea stuff they put in my IV and the nausea patch behind my ear, and I threw up on and off for the next two hours there when I woke up but there wasn’t anything in my stomach because I had to stop eating at 8 pm the night before. They put more anti-nausea stuff in my IV, but it didn’t work.
  • The nurse emptied the drains twice while I was there, but I don’t remember it. I kept falling asleep for like 3 to 10 minutes and then I’d wake up again and not know where I was, and they took my temperature to see if I had a fever and I didn’t.
  • My mom said I was pale and there was a thing on my finger to monitor my oxygen and a blood pressure cuff on. The oxygen levels kept getting low, and the nurse had to wake up me up take deep breaths and I’d do that and fall asleep again. This was happening for the two hours I was in the recovery room.
  • They tried to offer me saltine crackers, ginger ale, and water because people are usually hungry after the operation but I didn’t want it because I was feeling nauseous. I also got two black bands to go on my wrist to help with the nausea.
  • I was in a paper gown, and before we left I had to change in to my clothes, and then a woman took me out to the car in a wheelchair. My mom thought I should have stayed longer, as I was feeling pretty sick although I wasn’t in any pain.
  • I was sick in the car a time or two although I thought I was awake in the car because I had been trying hard not to fall asleep so I wouldn’t get carsick, but my mom says I was pretty much asleep the whole trip.
  • When we got to the hotel, I walked through the hallways with my mom holding on my arm, and when I got to the hotel room I was sick again then got into bed and fell asleep for about 2 hours.
  • I was sick when I woke up again too. Then I had the first dose of pain medication at 7 pm.
  • I texted everyone reassurances that I was okay for a while, then after a bit I tried to look at some apples slices and threw up again. It also turned out that the anti-nausea pill I had swallowed was supposed to go under my tongue.
  • We emptied the bulbs on the drains, and there was a bit more than 30 ccs of blood in each. Then I went back to bed. Mom woke me up to get the next dose of pain medicine at 1 am. I was wary about the Percocet because they said it can make you nauseous and I think it might be making me constipated because I haven’t had to poop yet.  
  • I wasn’t allowed to unwrap the ace bandages or take off the compression socks. After 48 hours I can take off the ace bandages and the gauzey stuff under and put on a compression vest, and in 72 hours I can take off the compression socks. I get to see my chest for the first time later in the week.

The first day after top surgery:

  • I haven’t thrown up today and I’m not nauseous! 
  • I’m not very hungry either though, but so far I’ve had a bagel and some grapes and a protein fruit shake drink.
  • I feel okay, just kinda tired 
  • I spent a lot of time in bed listening to music, and I got up for a short walk down the street. 
  • I’m not in any pain because of the medication. 
  • I didn’t do the breathing thing yesterday, so I’m trying to do it more often today.
  • I started to take an antibiotic pill today which tastes gross.
  • The compression sock hurt the ball of my left foot because it’s a bit too tight I think. The right foot and leg are doing fine though.
  • It’s going to be some time before I’m up to my usual level of activity because I’m not supposed to do anything that brings my heartrate up for 4 weeks after surgery.
  • I’m feeling optimistic though because years down the line I’m going to have a flat chest and it’ll make the recovery worth it.

More posts on my top surgery recovery can be found at https://questingqueer.tumblr.com/tagged/my-top-surgery

I’m happy to try to answer any questions someone might have, but I made a Top surgery page on @transgenderteensurvivalguide so check there before you ask me because there’s a chance your question is covered in that info. 

things we learned in this ep:

•morty has a learning disability, and even tho evidence was provided since the first episode of season 1, it was outright confirmed today
•blackout drunk rick talks about israel politics
•gearhead and rick are on good terms now
•morty has dealt with blackout drunk rick more times than rick knows, to the point where he can calculate possibilities of rick’s inventions failing BECAUSE rick has done the exact same thing every time he’s blackout drunk
•blackout drunk rick is fuckin dumb
•sober rick is also fukcin dumb but at least consciously knows and recognizes he loves his grandson
•rick diarrhea shits himself when he’s drunk
•rick likes to dress up when he’s drunk (the sherlock hat, the hawaiian shirt, etc)

uuuh idk, add more stuff? i guess?