unrequited-feelings

And then,
Just when I think I’m over you,
You drag me back in.

You pull my heart,
From the place it sits.
And you treat it like clay.
Molding, messing, shaping something new.

Then you give it back to me,
A smile on your face.
No idea what I gave,
For you to be that way.

You taught me how to love someone but you never told me how to stop.
—  abandoned lessons // excerpt from a book I’ll never write ( offdxys )
Why couldn’t he just feel the same?
Why did the universe have to be so cruel to let me fall for someone who can never feel the same?
The torture of having such strong feelings for someone who you barely mean anything to.
And to think that I was so careful as to who I fell for cause I thought that what they felt would actually last.
I wish all my feelings towards him ended on the very first good bye.
Then I wouldn’t have spent years feeling so stupid and hating myself because I can’t control how much this means to me.
I wish I had moved on then, like they did.
At least the situation would’ve been fair.
The fact that this has been one-sided from that day aches my soul just thinking about it.
When will this feeling of unrequitedness end?
—  I’m so tired
I miss being missed by you.
— 

I let you go, because I wanted to do right by you. And now you have moved on, and I am happy for you. But I catch myself wishing you still missed me, wishing that you still wanted me.

I know that isn’t fair, that you deserved better and that means that you needed to move on. But I miss being missed by you.

For every step he took toward her, she took two steps back. Every time he thought he’d made some sort of progress, that he’d finally gotten somewhat closer to her, she slipped away again, like a shadow, like the wind, like a ray of light, simply refusing to be captured.
—  so he decided to love her from afar
n.j.
We had a silent connection, unnoticed by most. We seemed oblivious to each other, but the magnetic pull between us existed. What perfect strangers we make now. We pulled the magnets far enough apart to barely feel their tug.
—  it’s almost as if we’ve never spoken
I hate how I’ve become so attached to you. I’m not this person. I don’t sit around waiting for a text or a response. I don’t stare at my phone every 5 minutes just to see if you have messaged me or whether or not you’re active on social media. I don’t look at old pictures and try to relive old memories in my head. I don’t get sad if we don’t talk for a day or more. This isn’t me, but lately that’s who I’ve been. I hate this. I hate how I’ve made you so important in my life.
— 

-I hate how I’ve given you the ability to destroy me.

-m.t.t.

One day you wake up and it’s different. There’s no sinking feeling in your stomach and you feel like you can breathe again. One day you wake up and it just clicks, you don’t care about him anymore. The thought of him being with someone who isn’t you no longer consumes you and you don’t feel the sudden urge to pick up the phone and call him. You feel lighter, you feel free and it’s one of the best feelings in the world because you know your ready to move on with your life.
—  the hurt doesn’t last forever, nothing ever does.
You thought I stopped talking to you because I got bored. However, you’ve got it all wrong. I’m in love with you so much. I love you and it’s killing me because you won’t ever feel the same way. You look at me but you do not see me. Not with stars in your eyes or with a sense of awe. Not with love. So I’m sorry it seemed like I disappeared. For a while I was selfish and wanted to still keep you in my life. It didn’t work out like that. I realized that it didn’t matter if I left or if I stayed, because it would all hurt the same.
—  C.H. // Learning to Say Goodbye

I wasn’t looking of anything when I met you. If anything I was over the thought of falling for someone. I had finally gotten over someone and the thought of being flooded with emotions each day again was exhausting.

But we practically stumbled on top of one another. Our paths could have crossed, but instead they collided. And the night we met was like coming up for air after drowning in my own tears. You made me laugh, and you told me stories about your life and for that night I was just happy to be me. It was an odd feeling, to be so happy and free.

Things didn’t work out, and maybe it was for the best. This way you can always be the guy that never hurt me, the one that let me listen and laugh for a night. And I am grateful for you and the part you played in realising I deserved better than those I had met before you.

—  To the one that came out of no where, but was exactly what I needed.