I wanted him more than the land wanted water during a drought. And just like the land I withered and cracked beneath the sun that radiated from his hazel eyes.
They say that even in the most desolate places the rain eventually comes and soaks the ground with water.
Yet I’m still standing here waiting for you. Alone in this desert knowing that a storm cloud will never come but still yearning for water just the same.
—  sierragaw3 

“The last time I was driving on this winding road, I had you in my head and heart; we were butterflies in tummies and fluttering heartstrings and laughter that lasted a little too long. You were almost mine.“ 

"And now here I am again on this same collection of grooves and gravel, and you’re far behind in my rear view mirror, a spec of dust in the infinite nothingness that now separates us. You’re a bittersweet memory at best.”

—  excerpt from a book i’ll never write #74 //  6 months later
Looks can be deceiving.

I may look like an outgoing person,
        but I don’t mind being alone.

I may seem loud and obnoxious,
        but there are times when I am silent.

I may look happy,
        but sometimes I’m consumed by sadness.

I may look tough and strong,
        but I have a side that’s soft.

I may look incapable of loving someone,
        but I am a victim of unrequited love.

I may seem fine,
        but my blood is boiling.

I may look like nothing’s bothering me,
        but I really want to hit someone in the face.

I may look confident,
        but I have my own blue devils at night.

I may seem like something you thought,
        but guess what? I’m not.

4.24.15

And sometimes an overwhelming sadness covers me
Like a warm ocean wave
And I think of you.

The idea of you is a bitter nut
I cant seem to spit out
And the pain is almost a pleasure
Because its familiar
Like coming home to an empty house
And I no longer think “what if?”
Just “if only”
And “why not?”

One of these days the tide wont remind me so much of your ongoing self destruction
And I’ll stop replaying 2011
And you’ll come out of hibernation
Into a deep wonder.

One day, you’ll be over him. One day, the color of his eyes won’t make you feel like you’re staring into the sunset and his laughter lines won’t remind you of a crescent moon. One day, the sound of his voice will keep your heart beat completely steady. One day, the mere thought of him won’t make your heart stop. One day, you will feel nothing for him. It might not be today or tomorrow, but one day, my love, one day, you will look at him with nothing but indifference. You will stop loving a boy who didn’t even deserve it in the first place.
—  excerpt from a book i’ll never write #72 // one day
It bothers me that it doesn’t bother you. I’m mad that I’m mad.
—  I wish I didn’t care, but I do, because it’s you.
-m.t.t.
Don’t take off your clothes. I’m not interested in that. Take off your mask and let me see the face you haven’t shown anyone else. Peel off that layer of skin and let me get deep into your soul. Open up and let me get into the depths of your being.
— 

-You’re an onion that I want to unravel piece by piece 

-m.t.t.