Unrequiered love

Monsta X OS.

Genre : angst (i guess) + a little fluff

Warning: nothing in particular 

Paring : Shownu X reader

Word count: 3549 

Summery : Jealousy blinded you as you saw her fawning all over him.

You were hanging with the boys out on the set of their MV, the staff was finishing things up and filming Jooheon’s last scene so the others were waiting for him. You were talking and messing around with Minhyuk, Kihyun, Hoseok, Changkyun, Hyungwon while Hyunwoo was talking with their manager.

You had been friends with them since before their debut, you met them while you were working during the summer at Starship Ent. You had grown close to them and since the staff and managers had known you just as long as the boys did no one saw it as a problem when you came along on some occasions. You helped out the staff while you were there since you knew the ropes of the job and didn’t want to sit around doing nothing while the boys were working.

You were particularly close to Hoseok, he had quickly become your best friend and confident, you could talk about anything with him and his quirky and flirty personality always had the effect of lifting your mood when you were feeling down. You were close with all of them and they each had a little something that brightened up your day but Hyunwoo had a little something more. You hated to admit it but you had a huge crush on Monsta x’s leader and the only person you were aware of who knew about your falling in love with their leader was Hoseok.

Instinctively your eyes shifted to the eldest member every once in a while, that was how you noticed he was talking with one of the new dancers who was clearly flirting with him and he seemed completely absorbed by her. He smiled shyly rubbing the back of his neck as she giggled obnoxiously and gently hit his arm, she was all over him and you couldn’t help but stare. You felt your heart constrict and disappointment filled your whole body, your throat was tight as you kept your eyes focused on their interaction. Guilt crept up along with the disappointment, you had no right to be jealous or angry, he was a grown man, he was not your boyfriend, it wasn’t like you guys were dating, sure you had shyly flirted once or twice and you enjoyed each other’s company but that never meant anything, to him at least. You on the other hand cherished those moments when it was just the two of you and you would just think what ifs and maybes. You felt someone lean by your ear.

-       You know Y/N if you keep staring so intently lasers will shoot from your eyes, were the words you heard, Hoseok’s attempt at lightening your mood.

You kept watching the exchange, she was pretty, there was no denying that, she was beautiful and a talented dancer. You sighed as you saw her grab his hand and write down what was probably her number, she sent him a wink before turning away swaying her hips just a little more than what would be considered natural. You got up as he made his way towards you guys.

-       I…I think I’m gonna go home, you said before he arrived. I’m not feeling so well.

They all looked at you with worried expressions and you smiled at them assuring them that it was most likely nothing. But Hoseok was looking at you his expression seeing right through you, silently telling you he didn’t buy your crap. You looked to the floor, begging for him not to say anything to make you stay.

-       How about you and I go back to the drom? Hoseok asked. I’ll make you some ramyun and we can watch a movie? You said you were spending the night anyway…

-       I don’t know… you trailed off.

You started pouting, Hyunwoo was just a few steps away and you didn’t feel up to talk with him right now, you heart still heavy and tight.

-       Fine, I was dying for some ramyun anyway, you said in a light tone making everyone laugh.

-       See you later at the dorm guys, Hoseok said putting his arm around your shoulders just as their leader came up to your group.

-       You guys are leaving? He asked eyes focusing just for a split second on your blond friend’s arm around your shoulders.

-       Yeah, Y/N isn’t feeling too well and I’m done for today, so we’re going back now.

-       Please tell Jooheon we’ll see him later and that I’m sorry I couldn’t see all of his scene, you said looking at anyone but the leader.

They all nodded and told you to rest well, you smiled at them as your best friend pulled you out of there. You told the manager you were leaving before getting into the back of the car and letting out a breath of relief. You lean into your friend’s embrace sighing. You were going to have to get over your one sided love for the eldest member and you had no idea how you were going to do so all while still being able to see the others.

As you made your way towards the dorm, the leader was staring at the door you had left by confused at your ignoring him and at Hoseok’s protective arm around you. He didn’t like that gesture one bit but carefully kept that to himself, he was your best friend he was well aware of the you guys’ relationship and that it was nothing more than friendship, Hoseok had clearing stated that nothing would ever happen between him and you on several occasions and had more than insisted on it too. So he was confused to see you almost desperately clinging to him and wanting to get away so fast.

Jealousy slowly made its way to his heart and mind, his jaw clenched and he turned to the rest of the members and dropped on one of the free chairs sighing loudly throwing his head back in frustration. He had wanted to talk to you but you had barely looked at him, your focus had been on anyone but him. Why had you been so eager to leave with his blond friend. At that moment thoughts of you laughing while happily sitting on Hoseok’s lap as he fed you pieces of food before kissing along your neck crept in his mind making him groan and grab his head in his hands. It wasn’t like him to get jealous, it wasn’t like him to feel so much anger and rage for such a petty reason. But why had you been ignoring him? He wondered. Hours ago you had been laughing with him a happy smile spreading your lips as he joked around and teased you. You laugh had filled the room and your focus had seemed to be fully on him and the spark in your smiling eyes had a smile stretching his lips from one ear to the other. That was the way he liked you the most, smiling freely, hair framing your face and pure joy spread on your features but what had seen earlier was nothing like the girl he had fallen for, yet he had no idea of your feelings for him. He had kept his feelings to himself and had interpreted the way you acted round him as kind friendliness, a bit like the way you were with Hoseok. he groaned out in frustration once more throwing his head back.

The others had been watching him silently, actually, you hadn’t realized but they had been watching since the beginning, they knew how you felt for their hyung, not that your feelings had been obvious but when Hyunwoo wasn’t around they had noticed you would always look to him every once in while, they saw how your face brightened up when he was around, the way your eyes sparkled when he was focused on you and many little things that they put together with time. However they had almost immediately spotted their leader’s soft spot for you and how it had grown over time.

Back at the dorm the blond singer was trying to convince you to not let it go that easy. He had his back to you while making ramyun and you were sitting on one of the stools in the kitchen slouched and trying not to let tears fall from your eyes.

-       Just don’t let go that easy, please trust me I’m sure things will work out, he said and at that very moment you burst in tears making him hurriedly turn off the stove and wrap you up in his arms.

His hand stroked your hair as you cried out face buried in his shoulder. You heart ached so much, as time went by you had grown fonder of the eldest and you had truly fallen in love with him. On your mind at that moment, you couldn’t stand a chance, he would never love you back.

-       Shhh, your friend cooed, it’ll work out, don’t worry so much and trust me, it’ll work out.

He pulled you off the stool and walked you to the couch so you would be more comfortable.

At the studio it’s Kihyun that broke the silence.

-       Hyung, as much as I respect you, you really are clueless sometimes.

The leader sat straight and looked at his friend confused. Hyungwon was next to talk.

-       We know how much you like Y/N, yet, just a while ago that girl was clearly all over you and you did nothing to discourage her, how do you think that made Y/N feel?

The dancer looked at his friend confused, not fully comprehending what they were saying. Well he thought he understood but he wasn’t sure if it was what Hyungwon was trying to say. Seeing his hyungs confused expression Minhyuk had had enough of seeing the both of you going around in circles.

-       Hyung she likes you, and just now some girl was just heavily flirting with you and gave you her number and you stood there smiling at her and laughing with her… From here it seemed you were flirting b…

The white haired boy didn’t have time to finish his sentence, Hyunwoo had spotted Jooheon coming back from filming and had shot up from his seat.

He bowed towards the staff saying that they had all worked well and made his way out the building to the waiting car, he needed to get to the dorm as soon as possible, he needed to speak to you. You guys had gone around in circles enough it was time for him to man up and confess his feelings before he lost you. He waited anxiously in the car for the other members to come, the few minutes that passed by before everyone was seated and the ride back seemed like forever. As soon as the car was in front of the building he jumped off and ran into the building.

The door to the dorm almost slammed open as he hurriedly walked in kicking off his shoes. He froze in his steps, as he walked stormed into the living room he saw you were asleep head in Hoseok’s lap. The blond man lifted his eyes towards his hyung and he kept brushing his fingers through your hair. Hyunwoo was surprised at the hostility in his friend’s eyes, he took in the picture, your shivering form asleep in your best friend’s lap had Shownu’s blood boiling with jealousy but he quickly pushed it down when he noticed your tear streaked face. He looked back up to the blond man.

-       You better fix this! Was Hoseok’s harsh whisper.

The dark haired man nodded, guilt painting his features as he realized he had been the reason for your tears, something he wished would never happen.

-       I…I’ll get her to bed? It came out more as a question than a statement.

The blond man looked behind his hyung noticing the others had pooled in and were watching the interaction.

-       So who told him? He asked in a low voice so he wouldn’t wake you up.

They all raised their hands and Hoseok nodded. Shownu made his way towards you and the blond man you were asleep on.

-       I’ll put her to bed and I’ll take the couch tonight, he stated bending down to pick you up under the watchful eye of your friend.

He held you, bridal style, close to him and you instinctively snuggled into his strong chest, a smile spread on the face of the man that held you as he turned his back to his members and went to his room. He gently placed you down onto the bed, he gently pulled his arms from under you and pulled the covers over your body. He watched you pull the covers closer and burry your face in his pillow, unaware of his presence. He sighed and made his way out of the room grabbing an extra blanket and pillow before going back into the living room where Hoseok was waiting for him. The blond man had a serious expression. Hyunwoo felt guilt flood his feelings once again, he had messed up and knowing he was the reason you cried made him feel awful.

-       You better fix it and make it up to her, hyung! She really likes you, was all he said before walking to his room.

He was left alone in the living room, he laid down on the sofa and looked at the ceiling, how was he going to fix this? How was he going to confess if you wouldn’t even look at him? He tossed and turned trying to clear his head and sleep but sleep never came so he went to the practice room and practiced his dancing, he danced all through the night, coming up with bits and pieced of choreography, soon it was morning and his mind was finally clear. He made his way back to the silent dorm and went into the bathroom to take a shower and freshen up from the night. By the time he was done the others were up and he realized he had forgotten a change of clothes. He wrapped a towel around his hips and poked his head out the door.

-       Changkyun-ah! He called out for the maknae.

The young rapper showed up a few seconds later.

-       Yes hyung?

-       Could you get me a pair of shorts? I forgot a change of clothes, he said.

The young man nodded and left only to come back a few minutes later with underwear and a pair of shorts.

-       Thanks man.

He closed the bathroom door and quickly slipped on the clothes before walking out leaving the bathroom free for the next person only to bump into someone as he made his way out.

You froze in your steps as you took in the tanned muscular chest you had just bumped into, you looked up at his face and you felt your heart squeeze as his eyes locked with yours, you tore your eyes away from his and quickly slipped into the bathroom. Your breathing was heavy, a crushing sensation on your chest making it hard for you to breathe, you tried to calm your self down as tears started to roll down your cheeks. You tried to block the sobs form leaving your lips but failed so you pulled your hoodie to your face and sobbed into it trying to dull the sound. You breathing was hectic, you felt like you were having a panic attack on the other side of the door, Hyunwoo had ran to slip on a t-shirt and came back to hear you struggle to breathe. His heart broke and all he could feel was guilt knowing fully that he was the reason of your brake down. He knocked on the door.

-       Y/N? he called your name softly making you hold the fabric of your hoodie closer to your face. Y/N? I’m coming in is that okay?

Your eyes snapped to the door and you scrambled to your feet to try and lock the door but you were too late he had already opened the door.

-       I have my eyes closed, are you still dressed? He asked from behind the slightly open door.

-       Yeah, you managed to say.

It came out so low that you thought he hadn’t heard but he had and he came in and closed the door behind him. His eyes focused on you as you looked down at your feet, refusing to meet his eyes. He walked closer to you, but you took a step back when you saw his hand slowly reaching for your chin, stubbornly refusing to look at him.

The young man’s heart broke at your attempt to get away from him at your refusal to look at him, his heart broke when he saw your cheeks were wet from tears, when he heard your desperate attempt at getting your breathing under control. His heart broke and all he could feel was guilt knowing he was the reason for this. He cursed himself for not realizing how his exchange with that dancer could have seemed to you, he shouldn’t have accepted her number, his mind had been elsewhere, he hadn’t even been fully listening to her, he had been thinking about you, he had been trying to come up with a way to ask you out on a date and that girl had just been blabbering on and on and he realized too late that his hand was in hers and that she was jotting down her number.

He took a deep breath, took two steps closing the distance between the two of you and wrapped you up in his arms. At first you tried pushing him away, anger replacing heart break, but his hold was strong and his sent soothing. His hand stroked your hair as you found yourself calming down in his embrace, under his touch. Your body relaxed and finally you could breathe normally again.

-       Y/N? he called out your name so softly as he pulled away to look at you.

For the first time since the day before you looked up at him. What you saw on his features confused you, you saw pure, raw pain, his usually smiling eyes were hooded by regret, he brought his hands to your face wiping away the tears. Suddenly his head dropped on your shoulder.

-       I’m an idiot, he said confusing you what did he mean by that?

His arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you close to him.

-       Such an idiot, he repeated as you stood there while he held you.

You don’t know how long you guys stayed like this, his head buried in your neck, his arms around your waist and you not knowing what to say or what to do. But at some point he straightened and he looked into your eyes.

-       I’m so sorry, he said in a whisper, I’m so sorry for making you cry, if only I had the confidence to confess earlier, this probably wouldn’t have happened.

His words took you by surprise, confess? Was he saying what you thought he was saying?

-       If only I had told you earlier that you’re the only one I see, if only I had had the guts to ask you out earlier, now look what I have done, all because I was too distracted to realize what that girl was doing, all because I had no idea how it looked from another point of view, all because I may be too late.

You couldn’t think clearly not fully understand what he was saying. Your mind was focused on the words “confess”, “ask you out”, “too late”, …

-       I hate myself for making you cry, for hurting you like this

You saw tears starting to for in his eyes and brought your hand up to brush them away before they had time to fall taking him by surprise, you smiled at him, your hands resting on his shoulders. He searched your eyes before leaning in and pressing his forehead to yours.

-       I’m so sorry, Y/N, I’m so sorry for being so late… he said softly before capturing you lips between his.

Your hands found his hair and he pulled you closer, the kiss that had started by a soft caress of his lips against yours was deepened by the both of you as you desperately tired to get closer to each other’s body. You melted into him as he brought a hand to the back of your neck eagerly kissing you fighting for dominance that you gladly gave up to him. You felt your legs shake beneath you and the only thing keeping you up was his strong arm around your waist. Just as you pulled away catching your breath, the bathroom door flung open on six impatient members.

-       Ya! Not that we aren’t happy that you guys are making up and all but we need to shower so take it elsewhere please! Hoseok complained.

You both chuckled as you walked out the bathroom hand in hand.

Okay here it is I hope you liked it! feedback is always appreciated, my askbox is always open …