unreal people

Things disassociation makes you do:

You will totally space out while your friends are talking.

When someone jokingly says “wake up” you might have an anxiety attack because you aren’t sure if you’re awake (and to my lovlies reading this, yes you are awake, you’re breathing and moving and alive).

When you ARENT disassociating, one of two things will happen:

-you’ll feel completely numb and unattached; not dissociating, more just not feeling

-EVERYTHING IS HYPER REAL AND ITS spinning BECAUSE IT’S SO INTENSE AND YOU NEED TO SET THINGS DOWN (tbh I call this disassociating even though it’s technically the opposite. It’s losing a grip on reality.)

Disassociation makes you:

very sleepy very fast

Feel like you have NO control over your limbs

Hear silence as an actual thing so bad that it hurts your ears

Actually freakishly well able to imagine exactly what you look like from across the room because tbh you feel like that’s exactly where you are, watching your body

feel like your surroundings are super small or super big or just different

Seriously, you will forget objects and people that you’re familiar with. I’ve had to stroke my pencil case for like, ten minutes to understand what I was holding during an episode.

See people’s faces blurred or not at all. Also might see missing parts on people or see extra parts, the scariest of all.

You might have hallucinations as a side effect.

You will CONSTANTLY be questioning reality.

Your grasp on time is zip. A day flies by in two seconds and an hour is three years and aghhgaKSJ

You might feel very, very small, physically, or incredibly huge. This is related to seeing yourself from across the room, I think; a different point of view.

During an episode, if it is bad enough, you will lose your balance and topple over and sometimes, everything is too dream-like for you to have enough control over your body to be able to get back up.

People’s compliments and good wishes tbh like? You’re so numbed out and just not there most of the time that you hardly process them.

You lose your train of thought easily because you feel like reality is constantly shifting, like it would in a dream.

Books are very hard to read because the words keep moving and swirling around.

Those jokes also that are like “You’ve been in a coma wake up blahblah”? THOSE WILL USUALLY SEND US INTO A FULL BLOWN PANIC ATTACK DO NOT SAY THAT EVER TO SOMEONE WHO DISASSOCIATES,

That’s all I can think of atm but if you disassociate, please feel free to add more. I want more people to understand this because it’s taking over my life badly.

And sweetheart, if you do disassociate, here’s your daily reminder that you do exist. That’s your heartbeat beating in there, it’s YOU breathing that air with YOUR lungs, YOU are thinking and breathing and thriving and alive and awake.

PSA: Disabled people’s vulnerabilities are not here for your entertainment.

As an autistic person, I spend a lot of time with social skills. I’d like to start off with some social skills that you may have learned in childhood. I’m betting that these are fairly non-controversial statements:

  • Do not pull a cat’s tail. That’s mean.
  • Do not kick dogs.
  • Do not slam the door on your pet’s tail.
  • Do not blow a high-pitched dog whistle loudly into a dog’s ear.
  • Always treat animals with kindness.

Now I’m going to say another social skill, which is apparently less important to some people:

  • You should treat disabled people with kindness.

Along the way, sometimes it gets forgotten or ignored that people like me also have thoughts and feelings. And people will treat actual humans far, far worse than they would treat an animal.

Hurting people is always wrong. Even if something doesn’t hurt you, if someone says it is painful to them, you need to stop it.

In praxis, this means:

  • Do not grab an autistic person from behind to make them wail. That’s mean.
  • Do not try to trigger unreality in a psychotic person. That’s mean.
  • Do not tell your dog to jump on someone with zoophobia, do not throw fake spiders at someone with arachnophobia, and do not show a graphic injury to someone who is terrified of blood. That’s mean.
  • Do not slam doors or fire guns to make someone with PTSD jump. That’s mean.
  • Do not show triggering pictures to someone with a mental illness, without warning them first, to make them cry or “get over it already.” That’s mean.
  • Do not mimic someone’s ticcing or try to make them do it more for your entertainment. That’s mean.
  • Do not upset someone on purpose, whether they are obviously disabled, secretly disabled, or not disabled. That’s mean.
  • Do respect other people’s pain. If they say that hurts, believe them. Don’t do it more to watch their reaction.

Some might say that this is the Thought Police trying to control you. It’s not illegal to think that it is fun to hurt people. You won’t be carted off to jail for intentionally making someone cry.

But people won’t trust you, any more than I’d trust an adult who pulls cats’ tails for fun. Because it’s a sure sign that you aren’t a decent human being.

And to the people who don’t do this: if you see someone else doing it, please ask them to knock it off. Bullies might not listen to disabled people, because they might not care what disabled people say. But they may listen to someone else. Please don’t let them keep tormenting their victim.

Please consider sharing this with your friends, to remind them how important it is to stand up to bullying, no matter what it looks like.

a psa - please watch unreal

it’s a (fictional) drama based on the behind-the-scenes production of a reality show like the bachelor and you get to see how they “produce” the contestants - in other words, manipulate them to create the drama they need to make a good show. if you like dark, gritty, fucked up shows that make you question your morals unreal is the show for you! the two main women are strong, complicated, layered characters who take No shit from men and they’re both hot and you’ll ship them (trust me. you’ll ship them). please watch my show this fandom is so small and i need more people to love it with me

“The perfect Kevin Day, too perfect for this world. You could almost say unreal.”

Apologies to people who expected serious art. Because I have archives of aftg horrors that I decided to traumatize you with *cough*stripperau*cough*

I blame @cielleinthazure ,  @kitshunette and  @still-waiting-for-godot

dear people who see this: im so sorry

Would highly recommend my fellow dissociative pals stay away from psychedelic drugs. The combination is almost guaranteed to give you a bad trip and will likely negatively affect your future dissociative episodes. ​A bad trip can be extremely traumatic for people who already have a hard time processing what is real and unreal. Psychedelics are for people who want to alter their perception of reality, we don’t need to do that, we do it every day, and it’s not fun.

seattle gothic
  • there is a new independent coffee shop on the street corner. tomorrow it will have a different name.
  • you go into pike place market. you keep going. there are too many stalls. how can one building hold so many stalls.
  • underneath a bridge, there is a troll.
  • today two thousand seven hundred twenty four people went up the space needle. no one knows how many came down.
  • when seattle was founded, there was one more hill than there is now. you still have to be careful not to trip on it.
  • there are more dogs than children. there are more salmon than children. there are more children than children. the seattle school district would like to invite any dogs between the ages of five and eighteen to attend classes next year.
  • if you wear a north face and jeans, you are protected.
  • “do you work with computers?’ a stranger asks, “do you work with computers, do you work with computers, do you?”
  • (answer yes. you work with computers or you work for boeing, and trust me, you are better off with the computers.)
  • you watch someone from out of town (maybe from bellevue, maybe from beyond) fall off the sidewalk. they used to be twenty two feet lower, you know, and sometimes the city forgets.
  • there are the college students, and there are the homeless, and there are the hipsters, and there are the ghosts. try not to mix them up.
  • please do not acknowledge the existence of the alaskan way viaduct.
  • seattle has two sports teams: one for baseball, one for men’s basketball. any others are illusory.
  • if you watch, the only people with umbrellas are tourists. there is a reason for that.
  • use the compost and recycle bins. you don’t want to find out what happens if you don’t.
10 fave movie tag

i was tagged by: @ronniescoopre

uh i don’t ever watch movies so i could only think of a couple

The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Before I Disappear
Hidden Figures

i tag:
@betttycoop @ronniesgay @bettydales @naan-dog @wowrelax @xstardusts
if you want!

Wow does Chyler Leigh have acting skills though. Her portrayal of Alex and the emotions she’s going through actually made me emotional, it’s just so spot on, like when Maggie rejected her the pain and humiliation was just so raw and real. I can’t believe how amazing it is to see such a brilliant coming out storyline in 2016, the Supergirl writers truly got it right where so many others haven’t, I mean the number of people this storyline resonates with is unreal. This is what people mean when they talk about representation, and I am 100% here for it 👭