unova gym leaders

So I tried to do the “give me a pokemon type” meme on facebook...

Friend: Idk about Type, but definitely a team full of annoyingly high Def, high HP mons. That way your opponent is all “fuggin’ FINALLY” when they whittle one down to the red. Aaaaand then a Full Restore. And then the tears. Heck, whether or not they actually beat you is inconsequential, just so long as you got to massively troll them before the battle ended.

Me: Dude are you claiming I’d be the keeper of the “why dont you go fuck yourself” badge?

Me: Like the player gets to the gates at the elite four and the guy at the door is like “uh yeah that’s not an official badge, you didn’t have to fight him”

Friend: So actually, between Vaporeon, Wailord, and Milotic, and of course using Aqua Ring and/or Leftovers, you’d make a good Water Gym Leader.

Me: I cant even argue most of my best guys are fucking fat wads of hp and attack stats with good defensive typing.

Friend: Honestly, the fact that the “badge” is a gnawed-up pen cap glued to an index card should’ve been a dead giveaway, but goddamit I worked hard for that Totally Legit Badge.

Me: It becomes like a unova meme. Local coffeeshops give discounts if you have it.

Friend: It doesn’t actually make Pokémon of a certain level obey you. If anything, it probably knocks 5 levels off your Level Obedience cap when they see someone with that.

Me: “My salazzle told me she cant be seen with me in public if I’m gonna dress like this.”

Me:… oh my god what if I call it the Saltwater badge

Friend: I love that idea more than life itself