unnamed things

Waiting for night to pass, dawn to come, and heaven to cry.”

  • Maria: Nat how do you want your coffee?
  • Natasha: as dark as my soul
  • Maria: *hands her a cup of warm milk*
  • Natasha: *struggles to push back tears*

Auston: “Mitch, I’m definitely the better dresser.”
Mitch: “Better dress- Better- Bob, Bob, tell him he’s not a better dresser. Look at that suit! It’s plaid.”
Bob: “I’m not getting involved Mr. Marner.”
Auston: *smirks*
Mitch: *grumbles rest of the way to the dressing room*
(vs. PIT - 12/17/2016)

I wear my pink triangle everywhere. I do not lower my voice in public when talking about lesbian love or sex. I always tell people I’m a lesbian. I don’t wait to be asked about my “boyfriend.” I don’t say it’s “no one’s business.” 

I don’t do this for straight people. Most of them don’t know what the pink triangle even means. Most of them couldn’t care less that my girlfriend and I are totally in love or having a fight on the street. Most of them don’t notice us no matter what we do. I do what I do to reach other lesbians. I do what I do because I don’t want lesbians to assume I’m a straight girl. I am out all the time, everywhere, because I WANT TO REACH YOU. 

Excerpt from QUEERS READ THIS - A leaflet distributed at pride march in NY - June 1990 - Published anonymously by Queers

Theory: How Seven Knows It’s a Game+Why He Doesn’t Remember Unknown

This theory is a continuation from V’s Disappearance ft 707, so if you haven’t checked it out, I’ll ask you to do so first before continuing ^^


This post is about a theory that covers the following:

-The Reset Theory

-What happens to V, Rika, and Saeran after each route (why they don’t capture the RFA members) 

-How Seven is able to remember events from the other routes

-But how he’s unable to remember anything pertaining to Unknown

-How the Wizard could be involved *wink wonk* 

-And which characters may have had a wish *nudge nudge* 

NOTE: Keep in mind that this post will contain definite spoilers from MysMe. However, this theory will have Dandelion aspects *cough* the Wizard *cough*. So already, it will be confusing for people who have not played the game. Yet. But for the MysMe-only fans, you can continue reading up until the part with The Wizard/Reset Theory section before confusion starts settling in…    

But it’s highly recommended that you complete AT LEAST ONE ROUTE from Dandelion before continuing with the rest of the post (apart from Jieun’s).   

Credit also goes to Choiipo for working together alongside me in forming this post :)

RECAP FROM MY PREVIOUS THEORY/What happens after each route (except for Luciel’s):

The order of the routes go in the following: Yoosung —> Zen —> Jaehee —> Jumin —> 707

-So remember how we came up with a theory where DURING the parties in Zen’s and Jaehee’s routes and AFTER the party in Jumin’s and Yoosung’s routes, V goes to Mint Eye but has no idea that Luciel is secretly following him?


-But before we carry on with this, let’s make another theory.

-Let’s assume that there could’ve been a deadline Rika set for the RFA members to join Mint Eye. And since Saeran and V are the ones in charge of bringing the RFA to Magenta, they could have failed to complete their mission by the deadline. (after all, V was the one to set the date for the party, right?)

-Really, no one in the party is harmed and no one is taken away. Literally nothing happens to anyone despite Saeran promising the RFA that he’ll take them to Paradise ._.

-Why is he unable to do so? Well, both he and V get PUNISHED by Rika for failing to meet the deadline.  

-And Luciel see this event unfold before him since he followed V. He finds out that Rika is alive, his brother has been brainwashed, V was lying the entire time etc.

-Among the chaos, V dies and Rika commits suicide (as proven by Zen’s prophetic dream where he dreamed they were walking away from him with their backs turned. He says this in the chatroom before the party in Jaehee’s route)

Who Made the Wish:  

-The disciples become afraid and run away, since their savior has died, leaving Luciel and Saeran alone.

-This leads to a fight/argument. As they fight, Saeyoung claims that he didn’t intend to leave Saeran alone with their mom while Saeran claims Saeyoung purposely abandoned him etc.

-As they argue, they become desperate and determined in convincing the other twin is wrong, resulting in having desperate wishes.

-They meet the Wizard.    

The Wizard/Reset Theory:

-So introductions are made.

-The Wizard then asks Saeyoung and Saeran their wishes.

-Saeran’s wish would be something like torturing Saeyoung.

-Saeyoung’s wish would be something along the lines of wanting to go back and change his actions of leaving Saeran for the agency.

-But the Wizard says if he were to grant this wish, he would need to “turn back time” (meaning, travel to another timeline since time can’t physically be stopped). And doing this would mean that the RFA will not meet the MC in the future of that timeline…

-So basically, there’s no chance that the MC will meet the RFA in that timeline because:

1. Saeyoung would continue to look after Saeran and reject the idea of being a hacker.

2. Therefore, Rika wouldn’t have taken the chance to take Saeran away and brainwash him.

3. And if Saeran weren’t brainwashed, he wouldn’t have lead the MC to the apartment in the first place.

-Saeyoung would not want that, since the MC is mainly the reason why the RFA started to hold the party again. Really, she made a difference with the RFA, right? Or… would that truly be the case? Could Saeyoung be thinking she’s just as important as Saeran due to her role in the RFA…? 

-So the Wizard makes it so that he can give Saeyoung another chance to save Saeran whilst being able to meet the MC starting from “Day 1” which is where the reset theory comes into place. 

-This wish is granted and Saeyoung’s memories of “Unknown” are erased in exchange.

-But wait, Saeran has the wish of torturing Saeyoung.

-Well, remember the theory of Seven having feelings for the MC in every route that’s still currently floating around Tumblr right now?

-Now let’s say that the Wizard is aware of this fact because he is the Wizard after all. It’s been proven in Dandelion that he is able to read people’s true feelings and desperate wishes. (Has it been proven….? ._.)  

-He uses this fact to his advantage when granting Saeran’s wish. The Wizard grants this wish by resetting the game after each route and ensuring that Luciel’s memories during each of those routes are kept in his memory. This would be the Wizard’s way of torturing Saeyoung.

-Which is where the line from the opening song: “Someone set us up to play in this secret game” comes into place. In my opinion, I think this line refers to the Wizard (I mean, I’m not the only one who feels it would be strange if this line refers to Unknown, right? ._. From what I know in Dandelion and Nameless, the Wizard is the one who likes calling his competitions, “games”).  

-This is also a bit like “hitting two birds with one stone” because:

1) He’s granting wishes. 

2) He’s having more fun than before since he’s now hosting THREE games at the same time.    

-So keep in mind:

-The only memories that are erased from Seven are the ones revolving around Unknown as payment.  

-And Saeran’s memories of the events in each of the routes may or may not be erased. However, he is able to still remember Luciel.



-Seven wakes up to find that the whole thing restarts and remembers details of Yoosung’s route, and is unable to recall anything about Unknown since his wish was to be able to save Saeran again.

-He also can’t remember following V and seeing Rika and Saeran because it’s one of the memories that’s been taken away by the Wizard since Saeran is a major part of it.


-Basically, the same thing happens over again except this time, this is set DURING the party when Luciel and V aren’t exactly present. Luciel finds out about the existence of Mint Eye from following V. V somehow dies and Rika commits suicide after etc.

-This leaves Saeran and Saeyoung alone.

-Fight commences.  

-The twins are both whisked to the Wizard again, having no memory of him whatsoever since no client is able to remember their meeting with the Wizard after their wish is granted.  

-Or…. is that really the case?

-What about the fact that Luciel actually knows it’s a GAME?

-Such as how he tells Zen to not say his backstory in Yoosung’s route and how in a phone call, he congratulates the MC for reaching Jaehee’s good ending?

-One possible answer: the Wizard chooses to not take away his memories of the Wizard himself. 

-Why? (SPOILERS FOR THE TRUE STORY OF DANDELIONHe wants to show Luciel what it feels like watching the person you love fall in love with a different person each time. He wants Saeyoung to empathize with him and know what it’s like hosting the animals’ competition and “turning back time” after each route. (END OF SPOILERS)     



Seven still remembers everything.


The same process with V, Rika, Saeran, and Saeyoung happens again.



Seven still remembers everything.


He finally breaks down and is unable to control his feelings/true emotions with the MC. At this point, he has become desperate and head over heels with the MC after realizing she has picked everyone else except for him.    

(SPOILERS FOR THE TRUE STORY OF DANDELION/NAMELESS) This is also exactly the same with Nameless’ feelings. In other words, Saeyoung is going through the same emotional state the Wizard and Nameless is going through as well in their own games. (END OF SPOILERS)


The same process with V, Rika, Saeran, and Saeyoung happens again.


DAY 1 (707′S ROUTE)

-So yeah, the whole purpose of this game is to ensure that Luciel is able to get the chance to save Saeran from Rika and V whilst being able to meet the MC starting at Day 1.

-The other purpose is to ensure Saeran’s wish of torturing Seven is granted.  

-And now the time has finally come for the MC to choose him. 

DAY 5/6?

-Unknown arrives at the apartment only for Luciel to also come along and find out Unknown’s true identity. Compared to the other routes, he is able to find out about Saeran quicker.  

DAY 11

-This is when different events start to occur. The whole process with Rika, V, Saeran, and Saeyoung begins to differ from the other routes because:

1. The MC comes along with Saeyoung instead of going to the party.

2. Vanderwood is now involved.  

3. Rika, Saeran, and V are now close to achieving their goal, rather than failing unlike in the other routes.

-These events are occurring because of how Vanderwood and the MC are now dragged into the process with Seven, Rika, V, and Saeran, resulting in leading to a different path altogether.  

-However, despite the plan going down the way it’s meant to be carried out, Saeran loses it when Rika decides to still punish him for the fact that he refuses to make Saeyoung a member of Mint Eye.

-Remember, Saeran doesn’t remember his wish with the Wizard. And he thinks Luciel still needs to be tortured.

-He shoots his gun, killing V.      

-Rika breaks down BUT doesn’t manage to commit suicide because:

-Jumin’s security guards manage to find them in the nick of time and handle the situation.

-Saeran and Saeyoung are unable to confront each other and realize their desperate wishes due to these events.

-This is when the resets stop.

-This is because Saeyoung doesn’t have a wish because Saeran is now safe from Rika and the MC has decided to spend her life next to Saeyoung’s side. He pretty much has everything he needs.  

-However, during the time when Saeran is being hospitalized, Saeyoung would have had a wish where he wants Saeran to be healed from his trauma with Rika.

-And Saeran would have had a wish where he wants to instead, die, if he can’t escape from Saeyoung.  

-But since both these wishes are pretty much opposing to each other, the Wizard wouldn’t really grant these wishes if it means ruining the other twin’s wish.

-And plus, it would mean all his efforts going to waste from hosting the game, so he promises them that they’ll have a happy ending (which they do) and doesn’t grant their wishes.  

-And the Wizard’s role is not needed anymore. But before he leaves the world of MysMe, he takes away Luciel’s memories revolving around the Wizard himself since:

1. Luciel doesn’t necessarily need to remember him. 

2. To replenish a tiny part of the powers he used to host all three games.

-And since the Wizard is a fourth-wall breaker (as proven from Nameless).

-He tampers with Saeyoung’s door and uses it to communicate with the player by thanking them for participating in the game.

-Which is why Saeyoung doesn’t understand why the frick the door would suddenly say that since his memories have been taken.    

-The Wizard then continues to observe the other games’ progresses in Dandelion and Nameless.

But that’s just a theory. A game theo- ok, I’ll stop.  

NOTE: This has to probably be one of the most important theories out of the rest of my other ones simply because it took quite a while to form this whole theory with the assistance of the wonderful Choiipo. It was a tad difficult making this as we had to ensure there would be no flaws and questions that needed to be answered (from what we could find) ;;; But thoughts/opinions are appreciated so I would really love it if anyone reblogs ^^ Criticism is also most definitely a plus, as it helps me develop my thoughts and learning as I make these theories :) So for anyone who feels the need to tell me that this has flaws or doesn’t make sense, DON’T HOLD BACK. (but make sure you have evidence, if any).  

But before you ask any questions, you may want to first check out my other post just to make sure that one of your questions will be similar to these (and that I’ve already answered them): http://cherrychipheart.tumblr.com/post/152720752118/remaining-questions 

Thanks to @choiipo @ayasunrise @777jewelrose777 for collaborating in this theory with me and seeing if there are any flaws in it :) You girls are amazing! 

@melizbeauty No idea if you’ll see this, but if you have time to spare, I’d really like to hear your thoughts :) 

@pixeledatom You haven’t yet replied to the theory that I messaged you XDD But that’s okay so I hope you won’t mind that I posted this before hearing your thoughts :)   

If anyone has any thoughts, theories or pretty much anything else relating to any Cheritz games, please feel free to share them/tag me ^.^ 


a plague doctor: what’s up with that?
answer: we just don’t know.

1) you mean on iscribble? bc otherwise i’m not sure what you mean….but no yeah feel completely free to join me if you ever see me on!! i don’t really announce when i’m on there though but yea, i have no problem drawing with followers ^__^;; maybe next time i’ll make a post ?

2) honestly, abel wouldn’t be happy abt it, but he’d let him go
buuut BM is just…way too caught up for that. he wants whatever abel can give him, even if it’s not Marriage TM…this boy is around for the long haul LMAO

3) it’s hard to explain, i just pick them intuitively at this point!  here’s some random skin colors i picked out..sometimes i use colors that you wouldn’t consider actual skin shades ie pink or dark blue but *shrug* putting diff colors really makes stuff pop imho

i’d also recommend color picking / getting color palettes off of pics of real people’s faces in natural/different colored lighting and try to replicate that

Can we have this end with Bum being saved by seungbae and the new cutie and he becomes close friends with him and joins him in becoming a burlesque duo

Seven’s Love for the MC/Reset Theory

There’s the theory that Seven has feelings for the MC regardless of which route you’re on and how he seems to remember in previous routes before the reset. At first, when someone asked me about this theory, I actually didn’t expect this and didn’t think much about it. Now there seems to definitely be a lot of evidence showing how this theory could be true. If you have not gone through Dandelion (or Nameless perhaps), what I’m about to say in the following will be confusing. So I really recommend people to please play it or watch a gameplay of it on YouTube for this theory to make sense to you.  

NOTE: Keep in mind that whenever I say “turn back time”, it actually means moving to a different timeline, not literally turning back time.

Credit goes to dual2limit for making a theory out of this but I added a flaw to it and something that all of us forgot about… 

From what we have learnt in Dandelion and Nameless, there are many parallel universes. If Mystic Messenger is connected to these two games (it should be?), then there must be a multiverse existing in this game. 

But how is this related to Seven? Well, does anyone recall back in Dandelion that the Wizard was the only one who could “turn back time”? Remember that he “turned back time” five times just so he could meet Heejung again and again…? What if the whole resetting of the game in MM was a consequence of the Wizard’s actions?  

However, it doesn’t seem to add up… There’s a flaw in which it takes a whole year for Heejung to finally meet the Wizard whereas it takes only 11 days for the RFA to host a party… So how can a route in MysMe reset after 11 days if the Wizard only “turns back time” after a year? 

But then again, he’s not literally turning back time… He’s travelling to different timelines…  

But then again, how is it that it’s only Seven who remembers all of the previous events that occurred in the other routes and no one else?? But moving on to his love for the MC, did he at one point began falling for her and got tired of waiting for his turn? I mean, that would explain why he was so sad during a call with the MC in Jumin’s route. It was because of the fact that the MC had fallen for everyone else and not with Luciel. Yet. Could he really have a connection with the Wizard? 

Oh, and also… does anyone recall back in Nameless (pun intended)….



….GUYS WHAT IN THE ACTUAL… fdashknasdghilknsagdlnkag 

…I’m so done. Everyone has been so caught up with Seven that Momma Tei’s mysterious being was forgotten along the way…  

I seriously need to gather more theories. If anyone has one, please don’t hesitate to share it out ^.^ If there are any flaws in this post, please know it is important to let me know :) 

Deep Space Nine RECAP: 3x07

It’s ONLY LOGICAL that I don’t leave Season 3 out in the cold (vacuum of space) as the only Star Trek: DS9 season for which I haven’t written one full episode recap. I gotta. And it’s gotta be ‘Civil Defense’, because like, have you seen ‘Civil Defense’? Here let me tell you every fantastic thing that happens in

Season 3, Episode 7: ‘Civil Defense’

‘Civil Defense’ — a Season 3 episode! — begins with Chief O’Brien hard at work converting an old ore processing unit into a deuterium refinery with the help of his engineering intern, young Jake Sisko.

…It is actually only just now in this moment that I’m realizing this ore processor from the Terok Nor days was probably that same godawful Metropolis factory they sent Bashir to, that first time he and Kira ended up in the Mirror ‘Verse of Manic Evil Pansexual Doppelgängers. Hah, neat.

And yes I realize I got all of 30 words into this recap before sidebar-ing about continuity like a fucking nerd, but hey you choose to sit around this internet campfire.

WHERE WAS I. Oh ok, so Commander Sisko has shown up because O’Brien has kept his kid past dinnertime. I would now like everyone to keep in their mind for the remainder of this episode the fact that it was the end of the workday and everyone was ready to kick off and head home.

But before they can do that, Jake is having trouble deleting one of the old operating files from the computer, some mysterious unnamed thing that O’Brien can’t make heads nor tails of either. O’Brien tries to transfer it to a central system and deal with it later, but the computer is like ho ho ho, not today buddy, not on your life, threat intended. With headspinning quickness, the computer is already announcing they have just five seconds to enter the correct access code.

Jake: “Or what?!”
O’Brien: “Well I dunno, but I better stop it—”
Alarms: “BLARE. BLARE.”


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anonymous asked:

Wait a know we get on the topic of fur colors a lot but what about... kits? Like, did any queen in all of warrior cats ever have more than 2-4 kits? In one litter?

i think there may have been one litter of five kits?? tbh i think its because the erins don’t want to spend that much time trying to create new characters/it would get confusing.

but the fact is that ½ of all feral kits will die before reaching maturity so it would make sense for clan cats to have large litters to ensure as many as possible survive, and even then most die early from disease/sickness/war injuries etc

i wish the erins did the “unnamed kits” thing again because it makes it a lot easier to kill kits (which i know i know is sad but it happens!! it’s a part of life!!) like what kits have died since hollykit + larchkit?? (squirrelflights kits were stillborn so I’m not counting them) i wanna see a queen have a litter of like 8 kits and just watch the camp descend into chaos

In their account of capitalism, surely the most impressive since Marx’s, Deleuze and Guattari describe capitalism as a kind of dark potentiality which haunted all previous social systems. Capital, they argue, is the ‘unnamable Thing’, the abomination, which primitive and feudal societies ‘warded off in advance’. When it actually arrives, capitalism brings with it a massive desacralization of culture. It is a system which is no longer governed by any transcendent Law; on the contrary, it dismantles all such codes, only to re-install them on an ad hoc basis. The limits of capitalism are not fixed by fiat, but defined (and redefined) pragmatically and improvisationally. This makes capitalism very much like the Thing in John Carpenter’s film of the same name: a monstrous, infinitely plastic entity, capable of metabolizing and absorbing anything with which it comes into contact. Capital, Deleuze and Guattari says, is a ‘motley painting of everything that ever was’; a strange hybrid of the ultra-modern and the archaic
—  Capitalist Realism - Mark Fisher
Caffeine Challenge #10

Good job everyone! Whoo, another challenge done! You can read mine on the google doc HERE or below! It’s the sequel to the last post here (X)

Don’t forget to tag yours Caffeine Challenge! I’ll be going through them in a bit, reblogging a few, and then adding all of them to the google doc!

The woman never offers Toby her name. She falls silent after his warning and stares across the road at the unnameable thing until the sun begins to set. Finally she shakes herself, flowing into motion like water spilling over the rim of a cup.

“Names have to have power somewhere,” she says and turns around to go into his house.

Toby stares after her for a long moment, unsure. Should he follow? Try to find out more about what exactly the Shelter is? Try to find out who his guest is?

The marigolds begin to whine as the sun goes down, unhappy with the chill, and the ivy running backwards along his fence hiss at him to tend to them, they’re not fussy, but they need time too.

Toby whistles a few, short notes and settles into a soothing hum. The woman can wait. He’s got his chores to finish first.

He weeds the blackberries (they hardly need it) with the last rays of light, humming and whistling as he finds thistle and moss. The marigolds begin to fight with the ice plant again, insisting that the ice plant is too close and not the other way around. The weeping willow at the edge of his property sighs.

It’s near the gate that he finds the death cap.

Toby stops in his tracks, mouth going dry as he stares at the greenish mushroom. He’s not– he’s not that type of witch, he’s not and he didn’t plant the death cap there. No, no, of course he didn’t, the thing is arching towards him, arching through a crack in the gate, but its base is most definitely out there.

But it shouldn’t be out there either.

Toby looks back at the house. The woman has lit the stove judging by the glow, maybe gone and lit the few candles Toby’s bought from town. He can hear her walking around in her heels, clicking on the hardwood floor as she crosses the single room over and over again.

He forces himself to swallow, wetting his tongue and throat. Then, he hunches down and growls, a horrible guttural sound that scares the african violets and makes the ivy shudder.

The death cap withers and dies. The small hole it had been opening in his wards dies with it.

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Predictions for SPX

@runningwithbats​ asked me if I had any predictions for SPX so I thought I’d  share them with everyone. Some of these are more wishful thinking then predictions, but I guess we’ll see:

• China’s still Grand Mage. She’s doing a pretty good job of rebuilding Ireland after the war but she has a lot of enemies/people who are unhappy she’s in charge and has had several people attempt to assassinate her. It doesn’t help that she hasn’t picked any Elders to rule along side her and she’s more a dictator than an elected official.

• The Church of the Faceless Ones is still growing in popularity and will feature in the series.

• Valkyrie’s new powers will be explored, and as a result we’ll learn more about what magic is, where it came from  and how it works.

• The Unnamed has the same magic as Valkyrie and we’ll learn more about them.

• The title ‘Resurrection’ might refer to the Resurrection of the Unnamed (maybe????) 

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Mari Ruti on love and desire

[Excerpt from Chapter 7 of The Summons of Love]

The Bedrock of Desire

I have already proposed that there are lovers who stand out from the rest because we experience them as so irreplaceable that even a definitive parting of ways does not entirely banish their imprint. The reason for this is that such lovers touch what I would like to call the “bedrock” of our desire. This bedrock is the deepest kernel of our being, articulating what is most archaic, least socialized (and therefore most idiosyncratic) about us, particularly about our ways of seeking satisfaction in the world. As a consequence, whenever a lover manages to awaken this kernel, he or she almost by definition cuts into unconscious layers of our interiority that are absolutely fundamental to our being yet also a little mysterious—shrouded, as they are, in the impenetrable mists of our prehistory. More specifically, such a lover activates currents of desire that are so essential to our sense of self that we would not recognize ourselves without them.

In chapter 1 I mentioned that although we may, across the span of our lives, meet numerous people who pique our curiosity, there are usually only a few who raise our passion to a feverish pitch. Those who do are the ones who—often unintentionally and without being fully aware of their power—brush against the bedrock of our desire. They stir our desire on such a primary level that we sense that our destiny is inextricably intertwined with theirs. This is how we sometimes come to feel that certain people are “fated” for us—that we do not have a choice but to respect the thrust of our desire even when this desire gets us in trouble.

The famous French psychoanalyst Jacques Lacan explains that whenever this happens, our lover comes to coincide with what Freud already called “the Thing”: the unnameable object of desire that we incessantly circle but can never attain. This Thing, in Lacan’s rendering, is a fantasy object that we imagine having lost and that we therefore spend our entire lifetimes trying to refind. It connects us to our first objects of desire (usually our parents) so that when we meet its echo in another person, we tend to feel the agitation that Plato linked to the transcendent yearnings of the soul; we tend to feel as if we were in the presence of something unfathomably valuable. Indeed, there is nothing in the world that incites our desire as forcefully as a lover who seems to reincarnate the Thing. However, because the Thing is a fantasy object rather than something that we once actually had (and then lost), we can never recover it in any decisive sense. We can only ever move toward it in an imaginary way.

Our inchoate sense of having lost the Thing makes us feel that we have been deprived of existential fullness. Arguably, this is precisely what gives rise to the human condition of lack that I talked about earlier in this book. At that point I emphasized that, contrary to what might at first appear, this primordial malaise is productive because it induces us to pursue various forms of secondary satisfaction. Lacan’s analysis of the Thing augments this insight by revealing that the trajectory of our pursuit is by no means random but consists of a very specific configuration of passion in that the shape of our desire corresponds to the shape of the loss we infer having endured. It is because the Thing for which we seek substitutes spawns a very particular nexus of fantasies that only a precious few of the objects that we chance upon manage to satisfy or engage us. We are constantly, and sometimes quite compulsively, on a lookout for the exceptional object that, we believe, can make us whole. As a consequence, we fall in love when the object we find appears to fit into, and even to seal, the void within our being; we fall in love when we (unconsciously) sense that we have discovered a little piece of the Thing. In this manner, even when we are unable to identify what it is that we are searching for—even when we cannot explain the “why” of our yearning—the Thing as an unconscious object of longing gives us the treasure map of our desire.

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Miserable Lester, Part 16: Those Guys Meet Marius, And So On

Okay, so one fine day the Stanley Yelnats of this story, Bossuet, is chilling outside the cafe where the Alphabetters always congregate. He’s daydreaming, and thinking not-too-concernedly about how he got kicked out of law school the day before, and how this means he’s gonna have to change some of his plans for the future, sure, he guesses. This guy really is admirably zen about worrisome stuff happening to him, although I suppose with his luck the main alternatives would be to get all defeatist and bitter and self-pitying or to retreat into flat-out denial, so. Suddenly a cabriolet goes by, moving at an unusually slow pace, like, you could jog faster than this thing. It’s like whoever’s inside it isn’t sure where he’s going. That piques Bossuet’s interest, so he looks inside the cab (not hard, because it’s so damn slow), and discovers that it contains a Marius Pontmercy. Bossuet knows he’s a Marius Pontmercy because he’s clutching a big overnight bag with his name written prominently on the front.

“Hey,” Bossuet goes like, hailing the cab to a stop. “Marius Pontmercy? You’re Marius Pontmercy? I’ve been looking for you, man!”

Marius is all, “Who are you? Do we know each other or something?”

Bossuet is all, “Nope!”

“Then HOW DID YOU KNOW MY NAME??” goes Marius, still holding a bag with his full name clearly printed on it in large block letters facing out the window of the cab.

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A leader has to rule.

Paring: Negan x Reader

Warnings: Some injuries mentioned?, Language, and a couple drama.

P.S: I didn’t knew exactly what I wanted but I think it run out of my initial idea. I use as base some things that happened on the show, and I inclement some things to add more .. idk, “meaning” .I hope you guys like it. And I would love hear what you guys have to say. Xoxo L.


Negan enters in his room after killing the doctor, “it has to be done” he thought. He sits on the couch and stare into space “how things went through this? Why Sherry leave? And why they had to free Daryl? I was almost making him crack under my hands. Fuck it” he thinks while he got up and went through get so whiskey.


Was a pretty day today, after a while being here in Sanctuary and getting to understand all the point system (not that I worked with it, I’m one of Negan wives after all so I don’t need move a muscle, but I don’t want to get lazy with my ass doing nothing all day just drinking and eventually having sex with Negan, that is something I can’t complain tho.) I get to know that Negan was pretty smart about all that. How he make the saviors work and how he get everyone to fear him.

Going back inside while I had a little escape and getting the top of the trees to think about how my life get into that point. I went to the infirmary to find no one there, and after walking through the huge place I found Eugene, being honest I hated the guy, never understand why Abbe and Rosita keeps him alive since the only thing he does is complain and cry all the time. I honestly always wanted to shot him in the fucking face. I mean we always fight, and since he got into the group we just protected him, my group.. well, ex group, don’t needed that weight on our shoulders. Not more than we already had.

“Y/N, hm, had a time we didn’t see, I thought complete understandable why you leave to live here with Negan. But I thought you was being raped by the amount of males workers that are kept here or being treated as maid, not healthy with a hydrated face and clean clothes and hair. Are you really Negan wife? I mean wives?” Eugene says with a speed that I wanted to tell him to talk slowly or no talk at all.

“Well, hello for you too Eugene. Yes, I’m.” I said calmly like I have nothing to do. And honestly, have I ?

“I don’t know if you’re aware of the conditional that your husband put me to proceed, but since I’m Negan and I am of his trustworthiness. I will work as the sanctuary doctor, being honest I don’t like seeing people in bad physical conditional, and I’m a Doctor, I have doctorate and I am the most capable, but still..” without him finish his sentence I cut him.

“Woll woll woll, WHAT? You’re Negan ? You’re the new doctor ? What the fuck happened here while I was out? Where the fuck is the real doctor?” I said as my chest was going to explode with so many doubt, what the hell had happened here?

“Well, since I think your brain is not filled with the news, I suggest you to look for your husband” Eugene says with that “un-expression” look as always.

I walk through Sanctuary trying to find Negan, after seen some faces with tears and fears, and some faces looking at me with a disgust that I honestly don’t know where it came from, maybe it was cause I have some “value” to Negan, or that I had more comfort.. but if they’re going to hate someone for having privileges they can hate the others wives, at least I work a little bit over here.

When I got to Negan room, hoping he is there to explain me. I open the door and I see him sit on his couch without his jacket, a whiskey cup on hand, and Lucille aside. When he see me he open a small smile. I didn’t wasted time asking about the recent events.

“What happened? Why Eugene is calling himself the new doctor? Why the Doc isn’t there? Why everyone around here is looking at me with a strange face? Why Simon and a bunch of your minions left right now since you guys got all the things you wanted in last week?” I says without breathing between so much confusion overwhelming me.

“Wow, first stop screaming at me. Second I had a fucked up day today right? Daryl run out, Sherry is dead, I had do hear Dwight telling me that the Doc was acting as a bitch towards me cause he helped Sherry run out letting Daryl run out and Daryl killed Fat Joseph … Meaning that my day isn’t the best. So stop looking at my like I shit in your scrambled eggs, cause this is not gonna work Y/N !” Negan says looking really pissed off.

“Wait, Daryl was still here? YOU LIE TO ME? YOU TOLD YOU TOOK HIM BACK TO ALEXANDRIA” I says so pissed. When Negan told me he would let my friends go, I went really confused why he would do that, and one night he was drunk and told that was cause he loves me “as fucking fuck” and he would never imagined that he would do that one day. But if anyone asked me was to me says because Rick had cooperated. That day he was so adorable, drunk and telling so many cheesys lines with some of his “language” that was a funny night. But now he lie to me about Daryl, and I look at him with some fear and rage that I fear what my next actions would be.


I can’t believe I let it out, I don’t like lying to Y/N, but I couldn’t lost Daryl, he can be a great ass saviour for me one day.

“Okay but I don’t let him. Stop acting like that” I say while I got more whiskey to try get that day a little easier.

“You don’t? Honestly Negan? YOU PROMISE ME, YOU TOLD ME YOU LET THEM GO,ALL OF THEM, INCLUDING DARYL. YOU TOLD ME THA..” Y/N says and I can’t let her finish her sentence. My head exploding with all that happens in that fucking day.

“I KNOW WHAT THE HELL I TOLD YOU, I SAY WHAT I NEEDED TO SAY. YOU WANTED YOUR FRIENDS FREE, WELL THEY’RE FREE. DARYL WASN’T IN ALEXANDRIA, HE WAS HERE, AND UNDER MY CONTROL. YOU SHOULD BE MORE GRATEFUL. I NEVER LET ANY FUCKERS OUT. I LET THOSE BASTARDS GO BECAUSE OF YOU. YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO. I RULE THAT PLACE, NOT YOU, NOT ANY OF THE SAVIORS, NOT ANY OF THE WIVES. AND TALKING ABOUT WIVES WHY YOU DON’T SEAT YOUR ASS WITH THEM AND STOP ANNOYING ME” without I even realized I throw the whiskey glass around the room hitting the wall hard and spilling my favorite whiskey all over the place. I let all my frustration out and when I look at Y/N she was terrified… I fell so idiot. I never EVER had saw her like that, she have tears in her eyes, and a fear that I never saw in any goddamn face; look like I just had killed her favorite animal or something bad like that.

“Doll listen..” I start to say going to touch her arm when she give 2 steps behind getting away from me.

“No. Don’t … Don’t touch me” She is actually in shock, holy fuck.

“Y/N I had a hard day, I didn’t want to kill the doctor I sort like the fucker but I can not lose control over here” I says more calmly that time. Y/N face was blank, I guess she didn’t knew about the Doc. Fuck! … “Y/N listen i know you liked the doctor okay, but lis…” she didn’t let me finish when she whips her tears away.

“NO, YOU LISTEN! .. I .. I” Y/N start to say but I bet she is having that gut pain when you try to say something but your emotions are overwhelming. I start to talk but I immediately shut my mouth since I know she have to say what she is trying to.

“I know I don’t rule here, and I honestly am NOT trying to tell you what the fuck do in that place Negan! But don’t ever lie to me; Daryl is one of the most important people in the world to me. And yes you let my friends go and I do appreciate it!, yes I’m living well here, but do not DO NOT compare me to the others girls!” She says and without me realizing she is putting her finger in my chest like she wants to make a hole there.

I made a hell good action letting her friends go, all the supplies I let go. All the ammo.. everything. And I known that her heart are gentle, and I probably fucked her heart making her knowing that her friend was here but I couldn’t lose a badass that would totally become a crazy Savior to work for me.

“Listen doll, stop acting like that. I know you’re a badass, I know you’re a feisty little one. But don’t appoint to me and mistreat me you can regret that” I says not wanting to making her have scare of me, but I can not let her tell me what to do. She needs to realize where she belong to. I’m the king here.

“You will do what hu? ‘Lucille me’?, Throw me to the walkers? Go to Alexandria and kill more of my friends and make me know that you can do what the fuck you want because you’re Negan ?. You know what ? KILL ME, cause is awful trust someone that don’t care enough to let you know the things that are going on. You killed the Doc! What you have on your mind? Now here don’t have any doctor.. oh oh you want Eugene ? EUGENE CAN’T BRUSH HIS TEETH WITHOUT SCREWING SOMETHING UP NEGAN… you know what? FUCK YOU” Y/N throws her back to me and start walking to the door. I’m exhausted cause of the day but no one will tell me how to do my things, not even doll.

“YOU’RE NOT LEAVING” I says while I close the door and locked it, I turn her around to face me and I hold her body against mine to the door not letting her move. She looks into my eyes with those fucking big ass gorgeous eyes of hers.


While I look at him, that gorgeous motherfucker. I try hold my tears back. I mean after all I saw him doing .. Abbe and Glenn; The psychological terror he made towards Rick; After saw him putting a fucking hot iron in a man face and .. and others unnamed things.. But all I can think is that how fucked up it’s when you’re in love with someone, when doesn’t matters how plenty fucked up things he do, you’ll always look for the good ones. Like how Negan don’t let any of the Saviors had sex or anything that can make the wives sad or scary.. and is not cause is “Negan propriety” he don’t let anyone abuse a woman! And I think that is real good thing, always were a bad world when we think about mans having they way with a woman, and now after the world ended it seems worse! And having people that do not let it happens and especially punish who does it, it’s something really good. Why I can’t hate Negan? Is because that sexy grin on his face? How he look peaceful when he sleeps? How he hug me and make me feel safe?! .. I judged Andrea back there cause of the Governor; I thought it was stupid that she didn’t torn his throat as he slept in Woodbury.. Did Andrea felt for him what I fell for Negan? At least she didn’t knew what the Governor was doing with us, I know what Negan is doing, that make me a bad person?

“Stop looking at my eyes in that way doll. You can not throw all that shit on me and just leave like you’re a motherfucking queen” Negan says looking at me with a expression of anger yet tiredness.

“I don’t think I’m. I just hate when people lie to me. I just want to know what is going on. Why you killed the Doc?” I ask in a calm tone, not wanting him to scream with me, and I honestly am sad. I spent some days at infirmary with the Doc helping with the injured and sick ones, the Saviours always come back with some injuries, and was not bad since they couldn’t stare at my ass, or breast or anything (cause of course Negan). I like doing something, and me and the doctor talks, talks about life before the apocalypse, how he worked with his mother on a market on south of Georgia to pay his med college, how he traveled to New York every yeah for a Medical Meeting and loves the weather… normal things. And now he is dead. And I sure as hell wanna know why.

“He act on my back. He and Sherry plan to free Daryl, and he help Sherry to run away.”

“Doesn’t seems like he did it. Why you think it was him?” I ask still with the door behind my back and Negan close looking down to see my eyes.

“D told me, he went to look Sherry and made sure she was dead”

“And you think he is telling the truth ?”

“Why wouldn’t him darlin’? I don’t think he would lie to me since he don’t want I meeting with the hot iron, I mean not again”

“And because Dwight told you so, you killed th doctor? The one that sewed you thousands of times? That helped me when I went on a bad run with you on that day and get scratch on a old market pile of spikes?”

“Listen doll, if you’re sad cause you think we got no doctor around to stitch our asses up when necessary, don’t worry. Simon just leave to Hilltop to get they doc”

“No Negan, is not cause of this. Is because he was a friend. Was nice having someone to talk besides you. I don’t talk with any Saviour since no one look at me with fear that you might get jealous and rip their faces off; I don’t talk with the wives since they hate me cause I can walk around, I can wear what I want, and since I can spend more time here with you; I like Simon but he barely here; And you know I hate Dwight and hate when he used Daryl things before I told him to give back when you freed him…” I say looking away with a sarcastic laugh “But of course it didn’t made any difference since all was a fairy tale for me think 'Oh Negan might have a heart and care for something besides his own ego’ ” I say and when I see his expression going pissed I say “Oh sorry, I don’t want to get killed too” in minus a second he punch the side of the wall pretty close on my face.

“Fuck it Y/N. Why are you making this difficult? I made what it had to be done. And don’t worry about Daryl, he run out right? So don’t get on your pants.” He says with a expression of pure anger. When I look down he grabs my face on his hands hard and make me look at him “Do not act like that, you know you’re my favourite and you better know that I can change my mind really fuckin’ fast. I can throw you to work with the others normal ass people; I can go to Alexandria and get everything back and maybe bring some old friends of yours to style the entrance of the Sanctuary. Everything can change so stop thinking you’re in a pedestal cause you’re fucking not into one Y/N” he says letting my face go. My eyes tearing of the though of him hurting more my fami..old family*. I honestly don’t care to not be one with privileges anymore, I love him but I don’t care for my feelings that much, I care about my friends. He turns around and go grab another glass of whiskey and sit on his couch and grab Lucille with the other hand and start looking at her..

*Negan POV*

Y/N stay there looking at me with a sad face, God knows how I want to kiss that face and let her know that I did what had to be done. But in the phase I can’t go on my knees and apologize to her.

“Can I go now?” Y/N ask looking at me as a stupid parent just look when they beat they kids. Which is bad cause I know Y/N had “parents trauma” shit.

“Yes, you can” I say looking through the window. I want to ask her to stay, to take a shower with her and sleep. I’m so motherfucking tired.

“Y/N…” I say when she looks back at me .. I can’t ask her to stay. “Ask some fucker to come here to clean the glass around here.” And with that she nods sadly with hurt on her eyes and walk away.

I probably will ask one or two of the others wives to come here to make me nut and forget about that goddamn day, fuck I never would care of killing someone that I would even imagine that was working against me, but seen doll face like that.. a face of fear towards me, after all the nights we shared with her looking at my eyes and with our bodies pressed against each other, a look of pure love and lust, a look that I wanted to froze the time and live forever on those gorgeous eyes, now, now is only fear and disgust. Why I fuck everything I love?.

Taglist: @alaina-mercer @venusdemonroe @po-prostu-fangirl @shanaatjelove11 @ali-pennel @bandphyscho {And I want to thank you guys for giving me a great support 💘}