unnamed things

Waiting for night to pass, dawn to come, and heaven to cry.”

Theory: How Seven Knows It’s a Game+Why He Doesn’t Remember Unknown

This theory is a continuation from V’s Disappearance ft 707, so if you haven’t checked it out, I’ll ask you to do so first before continuing ^^


WARNING: VERY LONG POST/THEORY EXPLAINING THE WHOLE STORY FROM BEGINNING TO END. SO OF COURSE, MAJOR SPOILERS.

This post is about a theory that covers the following:

-The Reset Theory

-What happens to V, Rika, and Saeran after each route (why they don’t capture the RFA members) 

-How Seven is able to remember events from the other routes

-But how he’s unable to remember anything pertaining to Unknown

-How the Wizard could be involved *wink wonk* 

-And which characters may have had a wish *nudge nudge* 


NOTE: Keep in mind that this post will contain definite spoilers from MysMe. However, this theory will have Dandelion aspects *cough* the Wizard *cough*. So already, it will be confusing for people who have not played the game. Yet. But for the MysMe-only fans, you can continue reading up until the part with The Wizard/Reset Theory section before confusion starts settling in…    

But it’s highly recommended that you complete AT LEAST ONE ROUTE from Dandelion before continuing with the rest of the post (apart from Jieun’s).   

Credit also goes to Choiipo for working together alongside me in forming this post :)


RECAP FROM MY PREVIOUS THEORY/What happens after each route (except for Luciel’s):

The order of the routes go in the following: Yoosung —> Zen —> Jaehee —> Jumin —> 707

-So remember how we came up with a theory where DURING the parties in Zen’s and Jaehee’s routes and AFTER the party in Jumin’s and Yoosung’s routes, V goes to Mint Eye but has no idea that Luciel is secretly following him?

AFTER THE PARTY IN YOOSUNG’S ROUTE:

-But before we carry on with this, let’s make another theory.

-Let’s assume that there could’ve been a deadline Rika set for the RFA members to join Mint Eye. And since Saeran and V are the ones in charge of bringing the RFA to Magenta, they could have failed to complete their mission by the deadline. (after all, V was the one to set the date for the party, right?)

-Really, no one in the party is harmed and no one is taken away. Literally nothing happens to anyone despite Saeran promising the RFA that he’ll take them to Paradise ._.

-Why is he unable to do so? Well, both he and V get PUNISHED by Rika for failing to meet the deadline.  

-And Luciel see this event unfold before him since he followed V. He finds out that Rika is alive, his brother has been brainwashed, V was lying the entire time etc.

-Among the chaos, V dies and Rika commits suicide (as proven by Zen’s prophetic dream where he dreamed they were walking away from him with their backs turned. He says this in the chatroom before the party in Jaehee’s route)


Who Made the Wish:  

-The disciples become afraid and run away, since their savior has died, leaving Luciel and Saeran alone.

-This leads to a fight/argument. As they fight, Saeyoung claims that he didn’t intend to leave Saeran alone with their mom while Saeran claims Saeyoung purposely abandoned him etc.

-As they argue, they become desperate and determined in convincing the other twin is wrong, resulting in having desperate wishes.

-They meet the Wizard.    


The Wizard/Reset Theory:

-So introductions are made.

-The Wizard then asks Saeyoung and Saeran their wishes.

-Saeran’s wish would be something like torturing Saeyoung.

-Saeyoung’s wish would be something along the lines of wanting to go back and change his actions of leaving Saeran for the agency.

-But the Wizard says if he were to grant this wish, he would need to “turn back time” (meaning, travel to another timeline since time can’t physically be stopped). And doing this would mean that the RFA will not meet the MC in the future of that timeline…

-So basically, there’s no chance that the MC will meet the RFA in that timeline because:

1. Saeyoung would continue to look after Saeran and reject the idea of being a hacker.

2. Therefore, Rika wouldn’t have taken the chance to take Saeran away and brainwash him.

3. And if Saeran weren’t brainwashed, he wouldn’t have lead the MC to the apartment in the first place.

-Saeyoung would not want that, since the MC is mainly the reason why the RFA started to hold the party again. Really, she made a difference with the RFA, right? Or… would that truly be the case? Could Saeyoung be thinking she’s just as important as Saeran due to her role in the RFA…? 

-So the Wizard makes it so that he can give Saeyoung another chance to save Saeran whilst being able to meet the MC starting from “Day 1” which is where the reset theory comes into place. 

-This wish is granted and Saeyoung’s memories of “Unknown” are erased in exchange.

-But wait, Saeran has the wish of torturing Saeyoung.

-Well, remember the theory of Seven having feelings for the MC in every route that’s still currently floating around Tumblr right now?

-Now let’s say that the Wizard is aware of this fact because he is the Wizard after all. It’s been proven in Dandelion that he is able to read people’s true feelings and desperate wishes. (Has it been proven….? ._.)  

-He uses this fact to his advantage when granting Saeran’s wish. The Wizard grants this wish by resetting the game after each route and ensuring that Luciel’s memories during each of those routes are kept in his memory. This would be the Wizard’s way of torturing Saeyoung.

-Which is where the line from the opening song: “Someone set us up to play in this secret game” comes into place. In my opinion, I think this line refers to the Wizard (I mean, I’m not the only one who feels it would be strange if this line refers to Unknown, right? ._. From what I know in Dandelion and Nameless, the Wizard is the one who likes calling his competitions, “games”).  

-This is also a bit like “hitting two birds with one stone” because:

1) He’s granting wishes. 

2) He’s having more fun than before since he’s now hosting THREE games at the same time.    

-So keep in mind:

-The only memories that are erased from Seven are the ones revolving around Unknown as payment.  

-And Saeran’s memories of the events in each of the routes may or may not be erased. However, he is able to still remember Luciel.


RESET  

DAY 1 (ZEN’S ROUTE):

-Seven wakes up to find that the whole thing restarts and remembers details of Yoosung’s route, and is unable to recall anything about Unknown since his wish was to be able to save Saeran again.

-He also can’t remember following V and seeing Rika and Saeran because it’s one of the memories that’s been taken away by the Wizard since Saeran is a major part of it.

DURING THE PARTY IN ZEN’S ROUTE:

-Basically, the same thing happens over again except this time, this is set DURING the party when Luciel and V aren’t exactly present. Luciel finds out about the existence of Mint Eye from following V. V somehow dies and Rika commits suicide after etc.

-This leaves Saeran and Saeyoung alone.

-Fight commences.  

-The twins are both whisked to the Wizard again, having no memory of him whatsoever since no client is able to remember their meeting with the Wizard after their wish is granted.  

-Or…. is that really the case?

-What about the fact that Luciel actually knows it’s a GAME?

-Such as how he tells Zen to not say his backstory in Yoosung’s route and how in a phone call, he congratulates the MC for reaching Jaehee’s good ending?

-One possible answer: the Wizard chooses to not take away his memories of the Wizard himself. 

-Why? (SPOILERS FOR THE TRUE STORY OF DANDELIONHe wants to show Luciel what it feels like watching the person you love fall in love with a different person each time. He wants Saeyoung to empathize with him and know what it’s like hosting the animals’ competition and “turning back time” after each route. (END OF SPOILERS)     


RESET

DAY 1 (JAEHEE’S ROUTE):

Seven still remembers everything.

DURING THE PARTY IN JAEHEE’S ROUTE:

The same process with V, Rika, Saeran, and Saeyoung happens again.


RESET

DAY 1 (JUMIN’S ROUTE):

Seven still remembers everything.

DAY 10 (WHEN THE MC CALLS HIM)

He finally breaks down and is unable to control his feelings/true emotions with the MC. At this point, he has become desperate and head over heels with the MC after realizing she has picked everyone else except for him.    

(SPOILERS FOR THE TRUE STORY OF DANDELION/NAMELESS) This is also exactly the same with Nameless’ feelings. In other words, Saeyoung is going through the same emotional state the Wizard and Nameless is going through as well in their own games. (END OF SPOILERS)

AFTER THE PARTY IN JUMIN’S ROUTE:

The same process with V, Rika, Saeran, and Saeyoung happens again.


RESET

DAY 1 (707′S ROUTE)

-So yeah, the whole purpose of this game is to ensure that Luciel is able to get the chance to save Saeran from Rika and V whilst being able to meet the MC starting at Day 1.

-The other purpose is to ensure Saeran’s wish of torturing Seven is granted.  

-And now the time has finally come for the MC to choose him. 

DAY 5/6?

-Unknown arrives at the apartment only for Luciel to also come along and find out Unknown’s true identity. Compared to the other routes, he is able to find out about Saeran quicker.  

DAY 11

-This is when different events start to occur. The whole process with Rika, V, Saeran, and Saeyoung begins to differ from the other routes because:

1. The MC comes along with Saeyoung instead of going to the party.

2. Vanderwood is now involved.  

3. Rika, Saeran, and V are now close to achieving their goal, rather than failing unlike in the other routes.

-These events are occurring because of how Vanderwood and the MC are now dragged into the process with Seven, Rika, V, and Saeran, resulting in leading to a different path altogether.  

-However, despite the plan going down the way it’s meant to be carried out, Saeran loses it when Rika decides to still punish him for the fact that he refuses to make Saeyoung a member of Mint Eye.

-Remember, Saeran doesn’t remember his wish with the Wizard. And he thinks Luciel still needs to be tortured.

-He shoots his gun, killing V.      

-Rika breaks down BUT doesn’t manage to commit suicide because:

-Jumin’s security guards manage to find them in the nick of time and handle the situation.

-Saeran and Saeyoung are unable to confront each other and realize their desperate wishes due to these events.

-This is when the resets stop.

-This is because Saeyoung doesn’t have a wish because Saeran is now safe from Rika and the MC has decided to spend her life next to Saeyoung’s side. He pretty much has everything he needs.  

-However, during the time when Saeran is being hospitalized, Saeyoung would have had a wish where he wants Saeran to be healed from his trauma with Rika.

-And Saeran would have had a wish where he wants to instead, die, if he can’t escape from Saeyoung.  

-But since both these wishes are pretty much opposing to each other, the Wizard wouldn’t really grant these wishes if it means ruining the other twin’s wish.

-And plus, it would mean all his efforts going to waste from hosting the game, so he promises them that they’ll have a happy ending (which they do) and doesn’t grant their wishes.  

-And the Wizard’s role is not needed anymore. But before he leaves the world of MysMe, he takes away Luciel’s memories revolving around the Wizard himself since:

1. Luciel doesn’t necessarily need to remember him. 

2. To replenish a tiny part of the powers he used to host all three games.

-And since the Wizard is a fourth-wall breaker (as proven from Nameless).

-He tampers with Saeyoung’s door and uses it to communicate with the player by thanking them for participating in the game.

-Which is why Saeyoung doesn’t understand why the frick the door would suddenly say that since his memories have been taken.    

-The Wizard then continues to observe the other games’ progresses in Dandelion and Nameless.

But that’s just a theory. A game theo- ok, I’ll stop.  


NOTE: This has to probably be one of the most important theories out of the rest of my other ones simply because it took quite a while to form this whole theory with the assistance of the wonderful Choiipo. It was a tad difficult making this as we had to ensure there would be no flaws and questions that needed to be answered (from what we could find) ;;; But thoughts/opinions are appreciated so I would really love it if anyone reblogs ^^ Criticism is also most definitely a plus, as it helps me develop my thoughts and learning as I make these theories :) So for anyone who feels the need to tell me that this has flaws or doesn’t make sense, DON’T HOLD BACK. (but make sure you have evidence, if any).  

But before you ask any questions, you may want to first check out my other post just to make sure that one of your questions will be similar to these (and that I’ve already answered them): http://cherrychipheart.tumblr.com/post/152720752118/remaining-questions 

Thanks to @choiipo @ayasunrise @777jewelrose777 for collaborating in this theory with me and seeing if there are any flaws in it :) You girls are amazing! 

@melizbeauty No idea if you’ll see this, but if you have time to spare, I’d really like to hear your thoughts :) 

@pixeledatom You haven’t yet replied to the theory that I messaged you XDD But that’s okay so I hope you won’t mind that I posted this before hearing your thoughts :)   

If anyone has any thoughts, theories or pretty much anything else relating to any Cheritz games, please feel free to share them/tag me ^.^ 

  • Maria: Nat how do you want your coffee?
  • Natasha: as dark as my soul
  • Maria: *hands her a cup of warm milk*
  • Natasha: *struggles to push back tears*
3

Auston: “Mitch, I’m definitely the better dresser.”
Mitch: “Better dress- Better- Bob, Bob, tell him he’s not a better dresser. Look at that suit! It’s plaid.”
Bob: “I’m not getting involved Mr. Marner.”
Auston: *smirks*
Mitch: *grumbles rest of the way to the dressing room*
(vs. PIT - 12/17/2016)

3

a plague doctor: what’s up with that?
answer: we just don’t know.

I wear my pink triangle everywhere. I do not lower my voice in public when talking about lesbian love or sex. I always tell people I’m a lesbian. I don’t wait to be asked about my “boyfriend.” I don’t say it’s “no one’s business.” 

I don’t do this for straight people. Most of them don’t know what the pink triangle even means. Most of them couldn’t care less that my girlfriend and I are totally in love or having a fight on the street. Most of them don’t notice us no matter what we do. I do what I do to reach other lesbians. I do what I do because I don’t want lesbians to assume I’m a straight girl. I am out all the time, everywhere, because I WANT TO REACH YOU. 

Excerpt from QUEERS READ THIS - A leaflet distributed at pride march in NY - June 1990 - Published anonymously by Queers

conchacunt  asked:

So given the information we saw in season three and how Haggar and Zarkon had Lotor after they became quintessence zombies, do you think that has any effect on how powerful Lotor is or on how he reacts to quintessence?

Okay, so, here’s something small that I’ve been chewing over since s3e7.

Let’s assume getting fried into space zombies didn’t actually change their genetics, just their appearance.

Honerva had golden eyes and dark-colored hair.

Zarkon had no real hair, and red eyes.

So where between them did they produce this vividly blue-eyed, white-haired child? Lotor looks more Altean than Haggar does at this point which would seem to suggest he draws from both of their pre-quintessence genetics.

But neither of them have blue eyes to give him and Haggar’s hair isn’t naturally white. It bleached out because of her overexposure to quintessence. That’s not something you’d pass onto a kid unless her genetics changed- in which case Lotor should have monochromatic glowing eyes as both Haggar and Zarkon do now.

We also have no confirmation Haggar is Lotor’s mother- she just remains the most likely candidate as Zarkon’s now canonically confirmed wife.

But what if Lotor wasn’t exactly… conceived normally? As I’ve said before, Haggar talks about Lotor like an experiment.

Since my theory that Haggar was the queen of Altea was sunk decisively, Haggar’s not of the royal bloodline, and we don’t know if she had that particular Altean power the way that Alfor and Allura seem to have. And Haggar’s very scared of Allura’s power in some way, suggesting she knows about it. Possibly, wants to use it.

You know someone who does have both white hair and blue eyes?

Allura’s entire family- the royal line of Altea.

Coran didn’t see Altea being destroyed, but Zarkon would have had Altea and all its people, including Alfor and, were she still alive at the time, Allura’s unnamed mother.

They could’ve taken things. Like, y’know, blood samples.

Now, remember s3e5? How the Alteans on the other side needed someone from Allura’s bloodline, with Allura’s power, to awaken that ship and move it?

Remember how Lotor was the one who switched that ship’s beacon on- which would seem to necessitate him boarding it and activating its systems?

It also doesn’t exactly make sense to me that after being undead for ten thousand years, Haggar and Zarkon would look up from their intergalactic conquest to decide they really want to have a kid together. Especially since both of them have apparently been uptight workaholics for most of their lives with very little time or patience for anything but each other. And Zarkon has no reason to worry about an heir, he already died once and walked it off.

So…. what if Lotor is more of an experiment than a child? Someone spliced together genetically? 

1) you mean on iscribble? bc otherwise i’m not sure what you mean….but no yeah feel completely free to join me if you ever see me on!! i don’t really announce when i’m on there though but yea, i have no problem drawing with followers ^__^;; maybe next time i’ll make a post ?

2) honestly, abel wouldn’t be happy abt it, but he’d let him go
buuut BM is just…way too caught up for that. he wants whatever abel can give him, even if it’s not Marriage TM…this boy is around for the long haul LMAO

3) it’s hard to explain, i just pick them intuitively at this point!  here’s some random skin colors i picked out..sometimes i use colors that you wouldn’t consider actual skin shades ie pink or dark blue but *shrug* putting diff colors really makes stuff pop imho

i’d also recommend color picking / getting color palettes off of pics of real people’s faces in natural/different colored lighting and try to replicate that

Seven’s Love for the MC/Reset Theory

There’s the theory that Seven has feelings for the MC regardless of which route you’re on and how he seems to remember in previous routes before the reset. At first, when someone asked me about this theory, I actually didn’t expect this and didn’t think much about it. Now there seems to definitely be a lot of evidence showing how this theory could be true. If you have not gone through Dandelion (or Nameless perhaps), what I’m about to say in the following will be confusing. So I really recommend people to please play it or watch a gameplay of it on YouTube for this theory to make sense to you.  


NOTE: Keep in mind that whenever I say “turn back time”, it actually means moving to a different timeline, not literally turning back time.

Credit goes to dual2limit for making a theory out of this but I added a flaw to it and something that all of us forgot about… 

From what we have learnt in Dandelion and Nameless, there are many parallel universes. If Mystic Messenger is connected to these two games (it should be?), then there must be a multiverse existing in this game. 

But how is this related to Seven? Well, does anyone recall back in Dandelion that the Wizard was the only one who could “turn back time”? Remember that he “turned back time” five times just so he could meet Heejung again and again…? What if the whole resetting of the game in MM was a consequence of the Wizard’s actions?  

However, it doesn’t seem to add up… There’s a flaw in which it takes a whole year for Heejung to finally meet the Wizard whereas it takes only 11 days for the RFA to host a party… So how can a route in MysMe reset after 11 days if the Wizard only “turns back time” after a year? 

But then again, he’s not literally turning back time… He’s travelling to different timelines…  

But then again, how is it that it’s only Seven who remembers all of the previous events that occurred in the other routes and no one else?? But moving on to his love for the MC, did he at one point began falling for her and got tired of waiting for his turn? I mean, that would explain why he was so sad during a call with the MC in Jumin’s route. It was because of the fact that the MC had fallen for everyone else and not with Luciel. Yet. Could he really have a connection with the Wizard? 

Oh, and also… does anyone recall back in Nameless (pun intended)….

WHEN ONE OF RED’S BAD ENDINGS INVOLVED TEI REMEMBERING THAT HE HAD A RELATIONSHIP WITH ERI AND HE LITERALLY STOLE HER AWAY FROM RED, SAYING “YOU STILL HAVEN’T FORGOTTEN ME”?!?!?!?!? 

OH MY GOSH THIS IS CRUCIAL. LUCIEL’S NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO REMEMBERS PREVIOUS ROUTES. WE’VE FORGOTTEN ABOUT TEI.  

….GUYS WHAT IN THE ACTUAL… fdashknasdghilknsagdlnkag 

…I’m so done. Everyone has been so caught up with Seven that Momma Tei’s mysterious being was forgotten along the way…  

I seriously need to gather more theories. If anyone has one, please don’t hesitate to share it out ^.^ If there are any flaws in this post, please know it is important to let me know :) 

Can we have this end with Bum being saved by seungbae and the new cutie and he becomes close friends with him and joins him in becoming a burlesque duo

Deep Space Nine RECAP: 3x07

It’s ONLY LOGICAL that I don’t leave Season 3 out in the cold (vacuum of space) as the only Star Trek: DS9 season for which I haven’t written one full episode recap. I gotta. And it’s gotta be ‘Civil Defense’, because like, have you seen ‘Civil Defense’? Here let me tell you every fantastic thing that happens in

Season 3, Episode 7: ‘Civil Defense’

‘Civil Defense’ — a Season 3 episode! — begins with Chief O’Brien hard at work converting an old ore processing unit into a deuterium refinery with the help of his engineering intern, young Jake Sisko.

…It is actually only just now in this moment that I’m realizing this ore processor from the Terok Nor days was probably that same godawful Metropolis factory they sent Bashir to, that first time he and Kira ended up in the Mirror ‘Verse of Manic Evil Pansexual Doppelgängers. Hah, neat.

And yes I realize I got all of 30 words into this recap before sidebar-ing about continuity like a fucking nerd, but hey you choose to sit around this internet campfire.

WHERE WAS I. Oh ok, so Commander Sisko has shown up because O’Brien has kept his kid past dinnertime. I would now like everyone to keep in their mind for the remainder of this episode the fact that it was the end of the workday and everyone was ready to kick off and head home.

But before they can do that, Jake is having trouble deleting one of the old operating files from the computer, some mysterious unnamed thing that O’Brien can’t make heads nor tails of either. O’Brien tries to transfer it to a central system and deal with it later, but the computer is like ho ho ho, not today buddy, not on your life, threat intended. With headspinning quickness, the computer is already announcing they have just five seconds to enter the correct access code.

Jake: “Or what?!”
O’Brien: “Well I dunno, but I better stop it—”
Alarms: “BLARE. BLARE.”

THAT’S RIGHT: IT’S A STATION BOOBYTRAP ENSEMBLE EPISODE, AND YOU’RE ALL INVITED.

Keep reading

Caffeine Challenge #10

Good job everyone! Whoo, another challenge done! You can read mine on the google doc HERE or below! It’s the sequel to the last post here (X)

Don’t forget to tag yours Caffeine Challenge! I’ll be going through them in a bit, reblogging a few, and then adding all of them to the google doc!


The woman never offers Toby her name. She falls silent after his warning and stares across the road at the unnameable thing until the sun begins to set. Finally she shakes herself, flowing into motion like water spilling over the rim of a cup.

“Names have to have power somewhere,” she says and turns around to go into his house.

Toby stares after her for a long moment, unsure. Should he follow? Try to find out more about what exactly the Shelter is? Try to find out who his guest is?

The marigolds begin to whine as the sun goes down, unhappy with the chill, and the ivy running backwards along his fence hiss at him to tend to them, they’re not fussy, but they need time too.

Toby whistles a few, short notes and settles into a soothing hum. The woman can wait. He’s got his chores to finish first.

He weeds the blackberries (they hardly need it) with the last rays of light, humming and whistling as he finds thistle and moss. The marigolds begin to fight with the ice plant again, insisting that the ice plant is too close and not the other way around. The weeping willow at the edge of his property sighs.

It’s near the gate that he finds the death cap.

Toby stops in his tracks, mouth going dry as he stares at the greenish mushroom. He’s not– he’s not that type of witch, he’s not and he didn’t plant the death cap there. No, no, of course he didn’t, the thing is arching towards him, arching through a crack in the gate, but its base is most definitely out there.

But it shouldn’t be out there either.

Toby looks back at the house. The woman has lit the stove judging by the glow, maybe gone and lit the few candles Toby’s bought from town. He can hear her walking around in her heels, clicking on the hardwood floor as she crosses the single room over and over again.

He forces himself to swallow, wetting his tongue and throat. Then, he hunches down and growls, a horrible guttural sound that scares the african violets and makes the ivy shudder.

The death cap withers and dies. The small hole it had been opening in his wards dies with it.

Keep reading

In their account of capitalism, surely the most impressive since Marx’s, Deleuze and Guattari describe capitalism as a kind of dark potentiality which haunted all previous social systems. Capital, they argue, is the ‘unnamable Thing’, the abomination, which primitive and feudal societies ‘warded off in advance’. When it actually arrives, capitalism brings with it a massive desacralization of culture. It is a system which is no longer governed by any transcendent Law; on the contrary, it dismantles all such codes, only to re-install them on an ad hoc basis. The limits of capitalism are not fixed by fiat, but defined (and redefined) pragmatically and improvisationally. This makes capitalism very much like the Thing in John Carpenter’s film of the same name: a monstrous, infinitely plastic entity, capable of metabolizing and absorbing anything with which it comes into contact. Capital, Deleuze and Guattari says, is a ‘motley painting of everything that ever was’; a strange hybrid of the ultra-modern and the archaic
—  Capitalist Realism - Mark Fisher
Mari Ruti on love and desire

[Excerpt from Chapter 7 of The Summons of Love]

The Bedrock of Desire

I have already proposed that there are lovers who stand out from the rest because we experience them as so irreplaceable that even a definitive parting of ways does not entirely banish their imprint. The reason for this is that such lovers touch what I would like to call the “bedrock” of our desire. This bedrock is the deepest kernel of our being, articulating what is most archaic, least socialized (and therefore most idiosyncratic) about us, particularly about our ways of seeking satisfaction in the world. As a consequence, whenever a lover manages to awaken this kernel, he or she almost by definition cuts into unconscious layers of our interiority that are absolutely fundamental to our being yet also a little mysterious—shrouded, as they are, in the impenetrable mists of our prehistory. More specifically, such a lover activates currents of desire that are so essential to our sense of self that we would not recognize ourselves without them.

In chapter 1 I mentioned that although we may, across the span of our lives, meet numerous people who pique our curiosity, there are usually only a few who raise our passion to a feverish pitch. Those who do are the ones who—often unintentionally and without being fully aware of their power—brush against the bedrock of our desire. They stir our desire on such a primary level that we sense that our destiny is inextricably intertwined with theirs. This is how we sometimes come to feel that certain people are “fated” for us—that we do not have a choice but to respect the thrust of our desire even when this desire gets us in trouble.

The famous French psychoanalyst Jacques Lacan explains that whenever this happens, our lover comes to coincide with what Freud already called “the Thing”: the unnameable object of desire that we incessantly circle but can never attain. This Thing, in Lacan’s rendering, is a fantasy object that we imagine having lost and that we therefore spend our entire lifetimes trying to refind. It connects us to our first objects of desire (usually our parents) so that when we meet its echo in another person, we tend to feel the agitation that Plato linked to the transcendent yearnings of the soul; we tend to feel as if we were in the presence of something unfathomably valuable. Indeed, there is nothing in the world that incites our desire as forcefully as a lover who seems to reincarnate the Thing. However, because the Thing is a fantasy object rather than something that we once actually had (and then lost), we can never recover it in any decisive sense. We can only ever move toward it in an imaginary way.

Our inchoate sense of having lost the Thing makes us feel that we have been deprived of existential fullness. Arguably, this is precisely what gives rise to the human condition of lack that I talked about earlier in this book. At that point I emphasized that, contrary to what might at first appear, this primordial malaise is productive because it induces us to pursue various forms of secondary satisfaction. Lacan’s analysis of the Thing augments this insight by revealing that the trajectory of our pursuit is by no means random but consists of a very specific configuration of passion in that the shape of our desire corresponds to the shape of the loss we infer having endured. It is because the Thing for which we seek substitutes spawns a very particular nexus of fantasies that only a precious few of the objects that we chance upon manage to satisfy or engage us. We are constantly, and sometimes quite compulsively, on a lookout for the exceptional object that, we believe, can make us whole. As a consequence, we fall in love when the object we find appears to fit into, and even to seal, the void within our being; we fall in love when we (unconsciously) sense that we have discovered a little piece of the Thing. In this manner, even when we are unable to identify what it is that we are searching for—even when we cannot explain the “why” of our yearning—the Thing as an unconscious object of longing gives us the treasure map of our desire.

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Cullen Appreciation Week-Day 2

“Alright, enough,” Eloise exclaims shaking her head with an exasperated sigh, cutting off Leliana and Josephine who are debating the best way to go about using some of the latest intelligence they’ve gathered. “Cullen, this is ridiculous, you are dead on your feet.”

The Commander, startles, jumping ever so slightly at the sudden, clearly unexpected address, and frowns. “Inquisitor, I as- ah-achoo,” he sneezes, an angry furrow forming on his brow, though it seems to be primarily directed at himself. “I am fine,” he manages, barely stifling a sniffle.

“You are not,” Eloise insists. “You’re sick. You need rest. When was the last time you slept? Or ate,” she asks eyeing him skeptically.

The fact that he can’t actually recall is probably a bad sign, a testament either to his exhaustion or his utter lack of self-care, neither of which are going to convince the determined young woman in front of him that he’s alright to carry on with their meeting. But she seems to know the answer even without his reply, wrapping up delegating duties with Leliana and Josephine, before clasping his hand in her own and gently guiding him out into the corridor, closing the door behind them to afford them a moment’s privacy.

“Cullen,” she ventures, squeezing his hand gently as she sizes him up. There’s a stone wall behind him, tempting him to lean up against it, but he learns rather heavily upon the pommel of his sword instead. He isn’t sure if he leans against the wall, he won’t simply slide down to the floor. Her voice is softer now she’s managed to pull him away, softer, but still laced with concern as she eyes him up and down. “You cannot keep this up.”

“I must,” Cullen replies firmly, shaking his head. “The Inquisition-”

“Needs you,” Eloise agrees with a nod, cutting him off. “Which is why you have to take better care of yourself,” the mage insists, though the expression on her face is a sympathetic one. “I need you,” she continues, softer still, one hand gently reaching up to cup his cheek, startling when she feels just how warm and clammy it is. “No more work today. You need rest,” she declares solemnly in a tone that brooks no argument, leading him quickly through the great hall, before slipping quietly through the rotunda Solas has claimed to make their way to his office with as few interruptions as possible.

His curses as he scales the rungs of the ladder to his spartan quarters earns a brief chuckle from where she climbs a few patient steps behind.

“Perhaps you’ll think twice then about climbing down until you’re rested and back to a better state of health,” she smiles as she pulls herself up.

“I can’t,” he begins to protest, but abruptly stops short at her icy glare.

“You can. You’ve trained your men well. Rylen can handle things for a few days until you are back to rights. Give him the chance to prove it,” she insists before he can argue. He sighs, and finally nods.

“You-” he begins, settling on the edge of the bed to work himself out of his boots, before being interrupted by another sneeze. “You don’t have to stay with me.”

“And yet I’m still here,” Eloise replies, smiling softly up at him as she kneels to help unlace his boots, calling back to mind their first kiss on the battlements with her words.

“That’s not what I mean,” he insists, shaking his head. Maker his head, it feels like it’s throbbing, hazy, but he has to say this.

“What do you mean, then?” Lithe, much more delicate fingers arrest his clumsy ones where he’s fumbling with the clasps of his armor and take over divesting him of it. He feels like a child. Weak. Useless. Utterly unworthy of her.

“I mean, that you- that I-” he stammers, desperately grasping for the words he wants, for order to his swimming thoughts. “You don’t need me,” he says finally, hanging his head.

“I do,” she insists, kneeling once more to look up at him, hazel eyes finding his sad and tired ones.

“Why? What can I possibly give you that you couldn’t find anywhere else? With anyone else a hundred times less difficult, and more whole?”

“I don’t want anyone else,” she replies immediately shaking her head, gently coming to stand and with a hand to either shoulder pushing him to lay down on the bed now his armor has been stripped away and carefully piled on the floor. “I love you. And no one is without some kind of damage,” she reminds him, her tender smile pulling at the scars that mar the right side of her face, the physical reminders of what she has suffered and survived to get here. “But this isn’t a discussion to be having now.”

He’s about to reply, but suddenly loses his thought and the breath in his lungs and she carefully climbs up on the bed and straddles his legs. Both cotton shirt and breeches stick rather uncomfortably to his skin where he’s sweated them wet under his armor, and it’s clear from her slow, carefully telegraphed movements she hopes to divest him of these as well. It would, without doubt, feel better than the current state of his clothes, but…

“I won’t look if you don’t want me to,” she promises, climbing off of him to pluck another dry shirt from the bedside table. And Cullen knows despite both of their mutual attraction for each other and this yet unnamed and unspecified thing between them, she will be good to her word. He does want her to look, though. Well, when he isn’t being consumed by a sense of self-loathing and doubts. But how can he not be? How can he possibly measure up to the gorgeous woman above him, still patiently awaiting his answer? To these hands that touch him, hands that have always healed, protected and helped more than they’ve hurt?

With a slight groan, shrugging off her silent offer of help, he manages to adjust a pillow and pull himself up to a seated position, and quickly tug the shirt over his head. He reaches blindly for the new shirt in her hands, not wishing to meet her eyes before he notices her gaze is already pointedly fixed in the other direction. He never gave her permission, so she hadn’t looked. The new shirt is long enough to cover his smalls and these are not the sort of circumstances in which he’d like her help with his pants.

“Thank you,” he offers gratefully to let her know when he’s finished, and in turn is rewarded with an entirely fond smile as she nods.

“I could do more,” she offers a bit uncertainly, gesturing with a slight shrug to her open palms that spark ever so slightly with her magic. “But only if you’re comfortable- if that’s something you’d want.”

Cullen swallows, then slowly nods his assent. “Okay.”

He trusts her. Maker, perhaps more than anyone. A mage. A healer who regularly communes and seeks the aid of spirits to assist her. A vessel. Because it had taken some time after the revelation for him to come around, to reconcile the young woman he’d been getting to know, coming to care for, with everything his training and experiences taught him of possession, but ‘abomination’ is too ugly and wholly inappropriate to describe what she is.

She’s straddling his hips again, and Cullen thinks perhaps if he weren’t so tired, if he didn’t feel so poorly… but then her fingers gently come to rest at his temples, brush softly up to push back his hair as a cool wave of healing magic washes over his sweaty and fevered brow. He closes his eyes. Her fingers continue even after the spell stops, gently massaging his scalp, no doubt mussing his hair up terribly, but it feels heavenly and under her touch the mighty Commander of the Inquisition’s forces melts into his bed, and slowly drifts off to sleep.