unmanly

The next time.....

someone calls me unmanly or gay, cuz i wear makeup, or tells me to shave my beard, cuz “beards aren’t gothic” and i shouldn’t have a beard cuz I’m apparently unmanly, fuck I’m way more ov a man than those assholes, I’m not always proud ov who I am, but I’m not taking insults like that, I’ve heard it enough and anyone who says stuff like that is immediately out ov my life!

@vxlpiine contd. from here

      ❝ bees aren’t funny… ❞ okay, maybe he had been acting especially unmanly that very moment, which was part why he was so embarrassed. ❝ it could have been something scarier! a gho- good old wasp maybe! ❞ admitting to the fact that he believed in ghosts wouldn’t make him any manlier…   

“How could I make a man out of you?”

No matter how many times it happens, I can never get completely used to a man’s words meaning nothing to him. It seems unnatural to me. I’m less and less surprised by it, and I’ve come to expect it as more the norm, but something about it just sits wrong with me. It’s downright messed up. I’ve always heard that a man’s word is his bond. You know what kind of a man someone is by whether or not their word is worth something. I remember the first time I was naïve enough to be surprised by a man who’s word meant nothing to him. When I met him, without fail, everyone who knew him told me the same thing; “He’s the real deal. He does what he says he’s going to do. He’s loyal. He’s a man of his word”. And because I didn’t know better, I believed them, and him. He said as much to me many times. “You can trust me. I’m not going to leave you. I want to be here for you/with you as long as I’m alive. I love you. I want to marry you.” From the beginning he was always trying to convince me how serious he was about being true to his word. He said, “In my family, we do not break oaths. It’s unheard of. When we say words, they are full of real meaning.” (Direct quote, by the way). He said beautiful things, made promises, convinced me he was for real, we made plans, the whole nine yards. And all of a sudden, things changed. Literally within a day. He went from “I love you” to “Oh by the way, I’m not coming for Thanksgiving. Or ever. We’re not together anymore.” I couldn’t fathom it. I didn’t understand, I couldn’t grasp it, I was rocked to my very core. Never in my wildest dreams would I have suspected him of doing something like that. I threw his words back in his face, brokenly demanding of him to explain them, in light of what he was doing. He didn’t really have anything to say. 
Since I’ve come to understand a variety of reasons for what he did, cowardice, meeting another woman at his school, and so on, but what mattered at the end of the day was not really why. It had happened and I’d never be the same because of it. So, how could he say all that, promise all that, and not mean it? I’m not silly enough to think he set out to hurt me. I know he didn’t mean to do it, or begin the whole thing with that being his end goal. That’s dumb. But, what was his word? What were his promises? A silly 21 year old boy talking out of his butt with no idea what he meant? I think not. He knew what he was saying, I knew him better than that. He thought he meant it at the time. So why did it not stick? Why wasn’t his word his bond, and his promises worth anything when the harsh reality of life kicked in?
Since, I’ve had enough experiences with enough guys to be shocked by almost nothing in the “But you SAID…” department. I wouldn’t give you a plug nickel for the value of the word of most of the guys I’ve dated. And it's 
Downright. 
Unmanly . 
I’m completely understanding of someone being too young and naïve to make certain promises. If you’re too young or have no idea what you’re doing, then that’s fine! Figure things out! But then do not date people, give them expectations, act a certain way, make promises, etc that you.
Cannot. 
Follow. 
Through. 
On. 
It is completely dishonest and irresponsible. You are basically saying that this person’s feelings are not worth enough to you to be more careful with their heart. If you’re not sure, then shut up. Make darn good and sure you are ready to make promises before you do it. 

Or you’ll end up making a liar of yourself and have your word thought to be worthless. 

And it’s unmanly. 

And you’ll never be anything but a little boy. 


“Cause what kind of guy would I be,
if I was to leave when you need me most?
What are words
if you really don’t mean them when you say them?”
-Chris Medina “What Are Words?”

“Your words are ash and dust.”
-Johnny Flynn

“And why do you sing Hallelujah, if it means nothing to you?”
-Damien Rice “Delicate”

“You’re a spineless, pale, pathetic lot. And you haven’t got a clue. How could I make a man out of you?”
-Mulan “Make a Man Out of You”

“I am utterly loyal to you. I won’t look for anyone else. I won’t leave. As long as my eyes have sight, my mind thought, and my hands strength, I will seek to be by your side and to protect and help you through life. I love you.”

-him