unloved for now

I realized that I cannot unlove you.
So now my heart has a new prayer.
I pray that you’ll find happiness.
And in return , I will find mine.
I pray that someone will love me the way I loved you.
And may I love this person a thousand fold more than you.
By then I’m sure my heart will stop looking for you.
—  A Prayer For My Heart // Conee Berdera
I realized that I cannot unlove you.
 So now my heart has a new prayer.
I pray that you’ll find happiness.
 And in return, I will find mine.
 I pray that someone will love me the way I loved you.
 And may I love this person a thousand fold more than you.
 By then I’m sure my heart will stop looking for you.

doingthingswithabby  asked:

1p/ 2P Italy yandere headcanons?

1p!Italy (Feliciano Vargas):

  Type: Obsessive

♥  He’s that yandere who can go from this:

To this:

…In less than a second.

♥  Yeah. You guessed it. He’s THAT yandere. Feliciano is all pasta and sunshine, but his eyes go blank whenever someone steps in between you and him. That is a serious yandere alert!

♥  Feli isn’t controlling or anything, but he is downright clingy. He tags along with you wherever you go, and if you don’t want to him to come along, he gets sad and tries to persuade you. If that doesn’t work, then…. Stalking is still an option!

♥  He’s scary when he’s jealous. He becomes quiet and expressionless, which is nothing like his cheerful and energetic personality. And what’s more bothersome is when he starts asking you these questions, like who that person was and who they are to you.

♥  Although he isn’t strong enough to murder someone, he has other methods of elimination. Like framing them of a crime he actually committed. Killing isn’t the only way to get rid of someone, you know~?

Just a heads-up, but if he has no choice, he will murder someone.

♥  For the majority of the time, Feli is sweet and affectionate towards you. But even he has his limits. If you push him to far, then you might even mistaken him for his second player (which obviously will only piss him off even more). :)

2p!Italy (Luciano Vargas):

♥  Type: Possessive

You bet your ass he is possessive. If you talked to someone, he wants to know why. If someone called you, he wants to know who did it and why. His possessiveness is so bad that he would hurt you if he feels the need to do so.

♥  He’s romantic, charming, and straight-up handsome.He can make anyone’s heart skip a beat just by looking at them (this can either be good or bad, tbh). If you two start dating, you’d never feel unloved or alone.

♥  Now that I’ve told you the pros of being with Luciano, I’ll now tell you why it is a bad idea.

♥  I’m pretty sure I’m not the only who thinks that Luciano is a pretty conceited guy. I see him as that yandere who feels confident about winning his s/o. Knowing this, you can only imagine how furious he would be to be rejected by you.

Bonus: He later find out that it was because there is someone else you are in love with (R.I.P. Rival)

♥  He doesn’t get jealous easily. Why do you need someone else when you have him?

But just because I said he doesn’t get jealous easily means you shouldn’t watch out! If you ever give him a reason to be suspicious of you, it’s possible that someone already has one foot in their grave.

♥  Something  that makes Luciano dangerous asides from his capability of murdering others is that he has money and power. He’s even the boss of a mafia! With that in mind, it is even more difficult to get away from him.

If he can’t stalk you, he can just order his men to watch over you and just send him details about your day. If he wants someone dead, he can just have his men kill them. Needless to say, you also have Luciano’s pawns to worry about.

♥ Did I forget to mention that Luciano is very controlling? Once you’re in a relationship with him, you’ll be restrained by his rules. If he says you can’t go, you don’t. You’ll just have to understand that it is for your safety. (It makes sense, since he is a mafia boss…)


This took longer than I thought…


♥Art by: Miya(ひづきみや)

    ♥  1p!Italy (1)

    ♥  1p!Italy (2)

    ♥  Another/Normal

    ♥  2p!Italy

guys real talk just for a second

i know that reaching out when youre down can be the hardest thing

either you dont feel like you matter enough or youre not sad enough or hopeless enough and you dont want to bother anyone with what you feel ‘isnt enough’. you dont want to be a bother. you dont know how to talk about it. and thats okay, you dont have to talk about it, you dont

but please, please talk about something to anyone

dont sit there and suffer alone, please dont. reach out to me, reach out to anyone and lets get through this together

mild-lunacy  asked:

[part two] And secondly, how do you read Mary's presiding over the last minutes of TFP in that context, saying that who Sherlock and John 'really' are doesn't matter and only their adventures do...?

This is how I read the sort of unfortunately-worded “it doesn’t matter who you really are” line:

The theme of Sherlock as an entire four series arc is that Sherlock both is and isn’t what he says he is. He isn’t a sociopath, but he is a brilliant consulting detective who solves crimes for fun. Sherlock’s actual self, the one he himself didn’t entirely understand until the end, is not what the legend suggests that he is, but that doesn’t matter. Sherlock is actually a loving and sweet man, deeply and probably permanently traumatized by the events of his childhood. His greatness isn’t impaired by the fact that he’s the product of tragedy, that his desire to solve puzzles and crimes is a psychological wound that he picks at and worries endlessly, or that he can see through others but couldn’t see into himself. That’s not something he’s going to show off to the world, and not really something he wants people to know. That’s private, and that’s okay. He’s allowed his privacy. His greatness and his legend isn’t impaired by the fact that it’s a little bit fake. Because it’s fake in a way that is still actually true.

And we learned in this series that the same is true for John. He too isn’t what he appears to be. He’s a war hero, a moral compass, the angel on Sherlock’s shoulder, but he is capable of great cruelty, betrayal, and violence. Like Sherlock, John is permanently broken. To Sherlock, he is a conductor of light, the person who leads him to do the right thing. John is capable of profoundly failing on the moral front, but again, it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t detract from what he’s capable of. He still is what he is, he conducts light all the same. In spite of the failures that demonstrate how much John is as much of a fake as Sherlock is, it’s him who transforms Sherlock into a good man he is capable of being, and it’s John who brings him peace. Even mired in the depths of his faults, John makes Sherlock better.

I’m not bothered by Mary narrating this, personally. Here’s what: a final narration can’t be John, and it can’t be Sherlock. It’s about them, not about just Sherlock, and that needs to be one step removed. It can’t be a conversation between them, either. I feel like we got the last of the frank conversations between Sherlock and John in The Lying Detective, and every other intimate conversation they have is going to be behind closed doors.

Someone had to narrate it. It’s an echo of Mycroft’s narration of what might become of them at the end of A Study in Pink. I suppose it could have been Mycroft again at the end. Mary threw herself into a bullet; I guess that final narration helps explain why she did that, why John being with Sherlock was so important. It’s because the legend is the two of them in a scruffy flat, ready to help the desperate, the unloved, the persecuted, now and always. She saw that, and she helps them to see that. And so they are.

anonymous asked:

"Don’t ever say something like that again." Pretty pls imma wait right here till u bang somethin out

“How could you love me?” Robert was sitting, back to the wall, knees pulled to his chest, the position making him look so much like a little boy, it made him almost unrecognisable, a far cry from Robert Sugden, the man who always took what he wanted, never waited for it.

Aaron’s heart ached as he looked at his husband, took in his broken appearance. He’d been struggling, lately, Robert, and Aaron would be lying if he said it hadn’t been expecting it all to come to a head sooner or later.

“How could you love someone like me?” Robert continued, unshed tears making his blue eyes glassy, brow furrowed. Aaron couldn’t tell if he’d been drinking, or if this was really it, the meltdown he’d been half expecting from his husband.

There was only so long you could carry the weight of your mistakes with you, he supposed.

“I love you,” Aaron said, voice almost a whisper. He didn’t know what to say, or do. He’d gotten so used to Robert being his rock, that he forgot he needed to be Robert’s sometimes too.

“But why?” Robert choked out, disbelief evident in his voice. “I’m cruel, and I - I hurt you, I’ve always hurt you. I don’t understand how you fell in love with me, Aaron, I’m no good - not for you. If I was good, if I was worth falling in love with, I’d have picked you from the start, but I’m not, I’m not good. I’m a coward, Aaron, you married a coward.”

Aaron wanted to yell, and scream, and shake some sense into Robert, tell him that he was far from a coward, far from being unloveable, but it wouldn’t help. No, it wouldn’t help, not looking at the state Robert was in.

“You’ve hurt me,” Aaron confirmed, knowing it was true, knowing Robert, out of everyone he’d ever loved, had hurt him the most. “But you’ve made me happier than I ever thought I could be, Robert, and I don’t just mean with the wedding, or the grand gestures. You just make me happy, Robert.”

Robert shook his head, as though he didn’t believe a word.

“Robert, listen to me,” Aaron shuffled forward, hands on Robert’s knees as he spoke. “You make me laugh, with all your dumb jokes,” he said, thinking of the ridiculousness Liv had branded as his dad jokes. “You make me feel loved, every single day. You - you know how I like my tea, you always cook my favourite foods when I’ve had a bad day. You take care of me, more than - more than anyone ever has, and I love you for it.”

“But I hurt you,” Robert said, clearly devastated. Aaron had never seen him like this, not in all the time he was cheating on Chrissie with him. Guilt, it seemed to ooze from his every fibre, every inch of him carrying the weight of what he’d done.

“Yeah,” Aaron nodded. ‘You have, you’ve hurt me. But I wouldn’t change any of it, because I get to be with you, every day. Do you not know how that makes me feel? It makes me feel safe, and settled.”

“You shouldn’t love me,” Robert shook his head, trying to look away.

Aaron grabbed his chin, forcing Robert to look at him properly. “Don’t ever say something like that again,” he warned. “I’m not going to sit here, and listen to you tear yourself apart over one mistake. You fucked up, Robert, but it doesn’t make you unlovable.”

Robert was crying now, properly crying, something Aaron had only seen a handful of times, in all the years they’d been together, from the affair to now. “I can’t lose you,” he choked out, scrambling to grab at Aaron’s arms, as though he needed something to ground him, to remind him he was really there, that Aaron was giving him another chance.

“You won’t,” Aaron held him close, cradling Robert’s head to his chest, letting his husband cry out weeks, months of pent up tears and frustration, Robert having finally hit his breaking point. He rocked him back and forth gently, hating how much pain and anger their brand new bedroom had already seen in such a short time. “You won’t ever lose me, Robert, because I love you.”

His words were a prayer, a promise, a certainty

Aaron loved him. No matter what, he always would. 

send me a prompt

For the record, it’s generally considered rude as fuck for you to walk out on your date without having courtesy to say you’re leaving it without paying your fucking bill. You will forever be known as a garbage person and I hope something petty and inconvenient happens to you.

anonymous asked:

You have so much self confidence. What if I hate myself and every time I look in the mirror I find something more to hate?

to start off, confidence isn’t something that’s developed overnight. everyone’s different with how they develop and flourish, so don’t be put out if people are building noticeable differences in self confidence in weeks if it’s been months and you’re still struggling.

if you’re younger, you’re going to find that most of your self-confidence barriers will probably be directly correlated to living with your family, friends, and school. bottom line: it sucks. it’s likely you’re going to hate everything. nothing will look like it’s turning up for you. you’re going to feel disgusting, repulsive, annoying, and unlovable. now again, everyone is different so that that with a grain of salt. older readers, this sort of thing is going to deviate from job(s), your post-secondary, and social life.

there will be days where you’re standing in front of the mirror nitpicking apart something about yourself that you don’t like. maybe it will get to a point where you’ve nitpicked so much you’re just staring at what you see as someone who’s been shredded apart over days, or months, or years of loathing. 

over time that self-loathing is going to manifest itself, whether it’s in the words from your family, the situations you encounter; it might even be a voice always present in the back of your head or behind you. 

you need to tell that self-loathing voice to fuck off.

obviously it’s not going to make you feel better on day one. probably won’t on day two. not on week three, maybe not of month four, but it’s a mentality you need to keep checking yourself on. if that tiny annoying voice is behind you hissing in your ear, saying “ugh, you look gross today” yeah. give it a quick “fuck off, I look good” and leave it at that. block out any reply, any rebuttal. make sure the final word is you saying “I look good

assert yourself with this. every time you’re feeling self-deprecating, you tell that loathing to pick up it’s shit and get the fuck out and forget those thoughts ever happened.

I know it isn’t much and it can be tough to get started, but over time it does build up and allow you to tackle bigger things. say your family is being a bunch of salt mines; “oh, those stretch marks don’t look good, I know something that can help them!”

automatically, [think] to yourself “fuck off, I look good”. don’t go openly telling your family to fuck off, unless you can get away with that. reply with something like “I like them” or “I think they look great” or any variation that communicates and empowers how awesome your lightning bolt scars are. if they keep butting heads with you, keep pushing back. do not let anyone dictate what gets to be considered beautiful about your body. if you aren’t ready to confront others, or just don’t feel comfortable or safe biting back, you can also reply with a simple no and leave it at that. it’s small, but it counts.

for the readers that are stuck with families that aren’t supportive and school that feels overwhelming: trust me on this, it does get better. I didn’t go to college or university, but I do have a steady job and an apartment with two cats and gorgeous husband. your skin will clear up [eventually] and you’re going to have the freedom to buy the clothes and live the life that will make you feel confident. might not be the highest level of confidence, but it will help immensely. there will be times where you feel down and miserable, but don’t feel put out because you aren’t at the same stages that some of your friends might already be at. you’re just going at your own pace, and you’ll make it there in your own time.

I'm sick ( Reader X Jughead )

Reader X Jughead

Request: yes

Warning: topic about a disease

A/N: TO ANYONE SUFFERING WITH ANYTHING! You will be strong okay, YOU WILL FIGHT AND ILL BE HERE IF YOU NEED ANYTHING! I’m sorry if anyone suffering with The disease that’s in the story and I didn’t describe it as it is. Because no one will know how to describe such a terrible thing unless it’s the person going through it. Once again to anyone going through any problems , illness or disease. I’m here for you at any time ♥️♥️
Once again I’m sorry for any mistakes.♥️

Sunday was yet another normal day, everything was going great.. Well that’s till I started noticing a small circular rash around the area of my left rib. I didn’t think much about it, just thought it was an allergic reaction or something, I added a rash cream and went on with my day to see My best friend Jughead at Pop’s.

When I had arrived at pop’s and sat down with Jughead everything was pretty much normal.
When I say normal, I mean it’s quite.
Jughead and I sit at our spot and order our milkshakes and drink them away

“( Y/N/N), what do you say we go enjoy the river and swim?”

I of course agree because it’s summer and basically we’re the only ones left from our group that didn’t take a road trip with our families.
Right after our milkshakes Jughead and I agreed to meet at the river in about an hour, that way we get the stuff we need and I make some sandwiches for lunch. When I arrived home, I removed my clothing and was just about to grab my two-piece swimsuit but remembered the red spot that was visible. Changing my mind I wore my one piece bathing suit and dressed in a shirt and shorts , and quickly headed down to make the sandwiches.

Once I was done with everything I grabbed my bag with food, extra outfits, towels and sunscreen and i ran out the door like I was sonic the hedgehog. When I arrived to the river I noticed Jughead just arriving too, thank God.
“Juggie, why on earth don’t you have a bag with your extra outfit and why do you still have your beanie crown still on, you’re going to get it wet!”

“(Y/N/N) please I know you well enough knowing you’ll bring me a towel and extra outfits that I leave in your room, besides this crown reminds me that I’m king.” Jughead smiles at me knowing that I didn’t exactly just that.

“ you know Juggie what if I didn’t bring anything, what would you do?”

“(Y/N) I know you, you’re just so caring. Any guy would be lucky to have you… and when I say any I mean ANY, including me.”

After those words i could feel my cheeks turning pink because God knows how much I have a crush on Jughead. Anyway I ignore his comment and walk to the side of the river and lay down the towel and basket, remove my outfit and get inside warm water of the river.

“JUGHEAD JONES HURRY UP AND GET IN THE WATER!” I shout from the top of my lungs because jughead looked like he was dreaming for a second.
After my call jughead walks into the water and slowly swims towards where I am, during that Process He slowly starts to lower himself into the water until only his nose and eyes are the only things showing. I start to swim away because I don’t even know what he’s about to do, but before I can completely get away Jughead pulls my hand toward him and I’m now stuck with both of his arms around me.

“Juggie, don’t you dare push me down!” I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his hips because if he plans on taking me down, he’s going down with me.

What I didn’t think or expect was that Jughead would end up gripping my waist and pulls me closer towards him till our chests are basically touching.

“ I actually like this position, for once you’re actually relying on me.”

“Juggie, I’m only holding on to you because if I die you’re dying with me… I’m not gonna let you be the Cheryl Blossom here while I’m Jason .” I joke with him

“ Look at you using sardonic humor on me.”

“ What can I say, I’ve learned from the best… Yup I knew I was a great teacher for myself.” I laugh at my own joke but notice Jughead is just looking at me. Before I can speak and ask what’s wrong, Jughead’s lips crash onto mine and I automatically kiss him back because once again I HAVE A FUCKING CRUSH ON HIM!

We kiss for a couple of seconds more until we both pull away with the sound of a ‘Pop’. Due to Jughead and I being one of the most awkward people on earth, we shy away and swim back to shore and act as if nothing just happened. By the time it’s time to leave we both have changed and picked up our things, Jughead offers to walk me home because in his words “ no one has found the killer yet so it’s safer if I walk you home.”

Once we reached my house, still I feel all fuzzy but don’t mention anything. Jughead on the other hand thought differently.

“(Y/N), I was wondering… umm I’ve been meaning to ask you out but wasn’t sure if you liked me, but after that kiss which you kissed me back. I was umm wondering if I could, i don’t know take you out on a date? I mean if you don’t want too it’s okay, but I would like it if you would.” Jughead jumbles his words as he asks me out.

“Jughead I would love to go out with you, how about Tuesday?”

He quickly nods without any hesitation. I smile and kiss his cheek and wish him a safe walk back home. I close my door and hear a small “Yes” from the other side. With a smile on my face I walk to my bathroom, shower and get ready for bed.

It’s currently Monday but I’m not feeling well, actually I’m feeling terrible. I noticed the small spot by my rib area has doubled in size and my muscles are aching me. I tell myself it was probably from the swimming yesterday and that this red spot is just an allergic reaction to something. I go on with my day and talk to Jughead on the phone for hours and don’t mention anything to him regarding my pain… it’s 7 p.m. and it’s time for me to eat with my family.

“ Mom, my joints are hurting me and I have this weird red spot by my rib area.” I inform my mom after dinner. She tells me to show her the spot and when she saw it she said it was probably an allergy or a mosquito bite. After my mother’s clarification I walk to bed and once again think that another day passed and all I can hope for is that tomorrow the pain leaves and I’ll be able to enjoy my date with Jughead.

It’s officially Tuesday the day which I’ll have my date with Jughead. My joints still hurt me and my spot is still the same size, which I think is good considering it didn’t get bigger. It’s only 3 in the afternoon but I know I have a lot of getting ready.
When I’m done with everything for my date I notice that it’s 6 and that Jughead will be arriving to walk us to the one and only Pop’s. Just as I thought of that the doorbell rings indicating he’s here. I skip to get my purse but I end up feeling a great ache on my knee joint, I hiss a bit but walk it off and walk down to greet Jughead.

When i reach down the stairs and open the door, I notice Jughead standing there with his usual S shirt but layered with a blazer and his little crown.
“You look beautiful (Y/N).”

I blush and close the door behind me.
“ you don’t look so bad yourself Jones the third.”

After the date, Jughead asked me to be his Girlfriend and obviously I had to have fun with this moment

“ I don’t know Juggie, I’ve always wanted a crown and I’ve always like your crown.”

“Well you can’t have mine, this is my beanie crown , only the king wears this one. The queen must wear something else. ”

“Well then Jughead, this just won’t workout I should have let you drown in the river.”

Jughead quickly removes his beanie and puts it on my head. I laugh and nod my head agreeing to be his girlfriend. To say that was my best night in my life is an understandable.

Two days have past since I’ve agreed to be Jughead’s girlfriend.. two days have passed since I was admitted into the hospital. After Jughead dropped me off home, my body and head were in so much pain that I had completely fainted. My parents walked in finding me passed out on the floor which is when I was sent to the hospital. The red spot has spread around my body and my joints are practically as hard as a rock. After countless of tests and checkups The doctor has diagnosed me with Lyme Disease,the doctor told me that living life would be a bit difficult from now on. He said I would have the good days when everything is fine and the bad days when I would be in this room with medication.

After the fourth day of me being in the hospital and countless of lies to Jughead I guess he had to take matters into his own hands and look for me.

“(Y/N) why didn’t you tell me?”

I stay quite and play with my hands.
“(Y/N) (Y/L/N) I said why didn’t you tell me? Why did you lie to me? How long has this been going on?” He raises his voice and walks closer to me.

“ Because Jughead, what do you want me to tell you? ‘ oh hey Jughead I’m sick and I’m in pain,anyway; how’s your day?’ I didn’t want to worry you okay! It started the day we went to the river, I didn’t think it was anything but the day after I started to feel pain. After our date I just fainted and I’ve been here ever since..” I try to keep my eyes away from him.

“(Y/N) you were exactly supposed to tell me you’re here! I’m your best friend and boyfriend! I should be helping you, just like the way you helped me during my bad times when I had no one, back to the times I would hate myself because I never fit in and back to the times I felt unloved by my own family! Now it’s my turn to be there for you.” He walks over to my resting bed and grabs my hands.

“ Jughead you don’t understand! this isn’t like any of your situations, this will go on for God knows how long! There will be times when I’ll be perfectly fine and the next when I’ll be in the room attached to all these needles unable to move a bone in my body! I’m sick, and I’m not going to get any better any time soon.”

“(Y/N/N) and that’s why I’m going to be there the whole way! The whole way till you recover, the whole way till you smile and the whole way till I know that you won’t need me anymore

shouldernova  asked:

i feel embarrassed to even suggest this but um. Crack fic where they somehow discover theyre fictional

what if……

what if it’s a normal day at the palace. it’s post curse: the sun shines lovely on their faces as lumiere and plumette waltz in the kitchen; the evergreen trees bristle bright green as adam walks into the forest for a bit of fresh air; the marble walls of the palace are cool and calming as lefou takes tea with mr. cogsworth. In the hidden heart of France, belle curls up happily in her new home to start her new project.

Ah, yes. The bookshelf. A cranky old piece of work, tucked in the back of one of the unused bedrooms, full of all the books nobody bothered to put in the library. They had been sitting here, undusted and unloved, for many years now; adam, even, hadn’t known what was in them or what they were.

“probably medical journals, or something,” he had said. “something boring, i don’t know. if they were interesting i would have insisted they be put in the library.”

“If you don’t know what they are, how do you know if they’re interesting?”

“Stop being cheeky.” Adam grins and goes for his walk, and Belle is smiling with the memory of it as she cracks open the glass doors—goodness, they’re grimy, Plumette hasn’t been in here—and lifts out the first book.

What do you know. A medical journal. Adam would never let her hear the end of it.

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