unless you happen to be jack

Things I have learned since becoming an Adult™

-don’t tell ur coworkers jack shit. You might think they’re your friends but they will sell you out for a paperclip
-everything men tell you is a lie
-store brand vanilla ice cream is better than name brand
-pregnancy tests from the dollar store work just as well as $20 ones
-don’t lie to your doctor
-seriously don’t
-at some point your card will get declined for $6 and nobody but you will care. It happens to everyone at some point in their life
-you will become bffs with your mom (unless she’s a mean person, then skip this one)
-you’ll wish you took the advice adults gave you when you were younger, even though it annoyed you at the time
-people you went to high school with will become teachers, doctors, etc but they will still do drugs and it will be weird. That’s life, my dude
-never underestimate the power of new underwear

I like to think that Jack is so 110% that he can somewhat tell how Bitty is feeling based on the way his food tastes.

-Jack eating his sandwich with Marty, Thirdy or Tater (really anyone that is aware of Jack and Bitty)

Jack takes one bite, makes a contemplative face, puts down the sandwhich, takes out his phone and steps into the hallway. He returns 15 mintues later and continues eating as if nothing of significance occured.

“What was that about?”

“ Something was bothering Bittle so I just wanted to make sure he was ok.”

They ponder a moment for it seems whatever the issue, it has been resovled and prying isn’t a good way to talk to Jack. So they drop it and continued with their lunch.

This happens every so often and they start to wonder how suddenly in the middle of the day, Jack claims that something is “bothering” Bitty? One day someone decides to finally ask.

“If somthing is bothering Bitty why do you wait til you eat half your food before you call him?”

“I’m not always completely sure if he’s upset unless i talk to him directly or at least eat his food.”

“His food? Like what, it tastes bad?”

“No its still delicious, but different somehow. So i just call to check up. Usually its stress from school, so we talk through it and discuss how its going.”

“But how can you taste something like that?”

And Jack Laurent Zimmermann, as if someone casually asked 1+1? His response accompanied with the slightest shrug:

“He’s my boyfriend.”

Like what a silly question to ask?

Multiple sighs are released and heads hang low. Food is put down as eyes stare blankly at the ceiling. Some even have to leave, overwhelmed by Jack’s insane sincerity.

After practice Jack notices quite a few guys on their phones. Not meaning to, Jack passes and overhears variations of “Wondering how you day has been” And “Just thinking about you so I wanted to call and say hi.”

He doesn’t think much of it, (since it oblviously has nothing to do with him), and heads home.

[so @marswithghosts called me “bunny” today]

“Aw, bunny.”

Jack blinks at Bittle from the couch where he’s been watching tape. “Did you just–?”

“Baby. Honey. I was thinking both and it just kinda…” There’s color high in his cheeks, leaving Bittle pink and golden standing in the patch of sun between the kitchen and the living room of Jack’s apartment and, suddenly, too far away.

“Bunny?” Jack stands, setting his iPad on the coffee table. Bittle’s feet shift against the hardwood.

“I was distracted?”

Sometimes Jack can’t believe how big Bittle’s eyes are, how brown. He doesn’t know how he can feel so safe and so thrilled at the same time, just looking into them. He always thought hearts skipping beats was a cliché, but that’s exactly what his heart does when Bittle blinks up at him, the corners of his mouth tipping up, the round of his bottom lip obscured by teeth and lip.

“It won’t happen again,” Bittle says, ducking his head, shifting his foot to press his toes against Jack’s, reaching out to twist fingers in the hem of Jack’s t-shirt. “Unless you liked it?”

“Bitty,” Jack says, and leans in, kisses his sweet mouth. Takes what Bittle gives him and returns it with interest.

Their S/O Have A Split Personality

requested: @orangettetwins : The main Creepypasta members having a split personality s/o? Please and thank you.


Thanks Darls for requesting, hope this is what you were looking for. I accidentally forgot to save it the first time so I had to re-write everything XD

Jeff: 

Well, Liu has a split personality disorder so Jeff would be slightly experienced with this. He might not give two shits about his brother sometimes but he tries his best not to blow up when your other personality comes into play. Your boyfriends got anger issues but he tries his hardest to control it, he knows it’s not your fault for having a split personality. He might just take his anger on someone else…

(Examples include)



BEN Drowned: 

Ben is very chill with you having a split personality, he doesn’t mind you having it and thinks it’s cool that you have a uniqueness. He’ll kiss you and tell you that you’re great both ways to make you feel better about yourself and hope it works.

(Can I take a min to say how amazing this cosplayer is?) 

 


Eyeless Jack: 

He doesn’t really mind. Split personality or not he doesn’t find that a problem in the relationship. If your other personality goes off at him then he’ll just leave until you’re done and once done so he’ll just shrug it off knowing that there isn’t much he could do and it would be useless to get upset. He won’t bring up the subject unless necessary although he won’t say much about it. He loves you for the way you are. 



Laughing Jack: 

He’ll just laugh it off. But he gets annoyed if your split personality is rude or being arrogant then he’ll just come off as annoyed and when you’re normal self comes back he’ll just laugh it off as nothing happened. He knows you’re not in control of you whole personality and knows what it’s like to feel unloved and he’d never make you feel the way he did. 



Ticci Toby: 

Toby loves you for the way you are, he feels that you could both relate to the subject of having something you can’t control; you with your split personality and him with his tics. This is one of the reasons the pasta’s ship you both. He might get slightly scared of your other half if goes crazy and tries his best to help you out when you need it. You both talk about your split personality on a daily basis.



Masky:

Masky will try to help as much as he can. He’ll be there when your personality snaps and will try his best to helpful. He normally knows what to do, however, if more help is needed then he’ll simply ask for Hoodie’s or Slender man’s assistance. He knows you’re not in control of your own personality disorder and will try his hardest to make sure you can get through it and know that he is there for you.

 



Hoodie: 

At first, Hoodie has no bloody clue what to do when your split personality snapped. He rapidly ran to Masky and Toby begging them to come help. After a while, he knew what to do to keep you from snapping. He’d try to remain calm when your other personality comes to play and tries his hardest not to snap back. He will ask about how you’re holding up when it’s just the two of you; asking questions such as “How’s it going” or “Anything I can do to help?” He wants to make sure you’re happy but is sometimes a tad clueless.

Originally posted by just-usmadd

This prompt was sent to me sooooo long ago by @legojacques. Thank you for your patience! I hope it was worth the wait!

Note: This is an AU where Bitty and Jack have a heart-to-heart after the events of epikegster, and then the rest of year 2 goes on to happen as it does in canon. Pre-relationship friendship, ftw! Also, ridiculous flight itinerary ftw lol


This was not how Bitty’s winter break was supposed to start. He never should have used that cheap airfare website. At the time he booked it, the Boston to Montréal, Montréal to Atlanta itinerary did not seem so bad. Weird, yes, but not bad.

Getting to travel the first leg of his trip with Jack did not hurt either. Bitty could not help but snicker as Jack struggled to hide his surprise at the cookies stashed in his carry-on. “Yes. I packed an entire batch of cookies for this flight. I know it’s only an hour and fifteen minutes, but… playing hockey burns a lot of calories, so we gotta eat lots of small meals.”

The employee raised an eyebrow. “Is a batch of chocolate chip cookies the best meal choice?”

“They’re not your grandmother’s chocolate chip cookies–” Bitty stopped himself. “Actually, they are my MooMaw’s basic recipe, but with a healthier twist.”

“Oh?”

“They have more protein.” Bitty grinned when Jack made a soft “hah” laugh. It was good to see him smile after the events of epikegster. This was shaping up to be a good day.

The day went south just as their flight was arriving up north. The pilot announced over the speaker that a storm was starting up, and that the landing would be rocky. Jack stared out Bitty’s window intently with a soft frown on his face. 

Bitty tried to keep his composure, but the first big jolt of turbulence elicited a quiet yelp from the back of his throat. “Sorry, so embarrassing…” He blushed and shyly looked over at Jack.

Jack was rigid and pressed as far back in his seat as possible, his eyes closed. He was taking slow, deep breaths, but his exhales were a bit shakey.

“Jack? Are you okay?”

“I'm fine,” Jack snapped before he could correct himself. “Sorry, just…”

“It’s okay.”

“Hey… Bittle?” Jack asked with his eyes still closed. 

“Yes, Jack?”

“Could you… No, nevermind. It’s stupid.”

(More beneath the cut)

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worm + @wolfpupy tweets

Skitter: i did the best i could with the resources i was given, which was nothing

Bitch: if you underestimate a wolfs ability to wield a weapon just because of a lack of thumbs you will get what you deserve in the end.

Tattletale: i’m not going to claim that i know everything, i am simply going to act like it

Regent:  when you get your revenge on someone always immediately hit them with a second revenge, undercuts any counter-revenge or betrayal they have

Lung:  being bitten by the world’s most venomous and poisonous animals is a luxurious extravagance i don’t take lightly, i view it as a privilege

Bakuda: if we do this we do it my way [cut to a bunch of explosions. corpses & debris fly through the air] okay maybe i should be more open to ideas

Diana Alcott: “just when i thought things couldn’t get worse” that was your first mistake, things always get worse regardless of thinking 

Coil: finally doing something i have been planning to do for a long time, announcing to everyone that i am doing something

Accord: your definition of a good idea may be different from my definition of a good idea, mine being that a good idea is any idea i think of

Skidmark:  instead of spending all your time trying to make things better and failing you can cut out the middleman and just make things worse

Kaiser: i don’t want to throw anyone under the bus here unless they are my enemy or betrayer or if it will help me get where i’m going faster

Jack Slash: blood is just nature’s red water that flys out when you make a mistake. relax and enjoy the experience for once

Bonesaw: back in the frankenstein times you could make a monster whenever you wanted, these days you have to have a license or something i guess

Crawler: time heals all wounds, makes us stronger, and grows us gundam robot limbs over our old ones

Gray Boy:  looks like things are always happening once again

Trickster:  if i don’t learn anything from my mistakes then i don’t have to consider them mistakes in the first place

Genesis: “the first step to…” i will stop you right there, there’s walking involved? no thanks

Noelle: seems to me if we all worked together to make my life better then eventually everyone elses lives would get better at some point probably

Dr Mother: in a way aren’t we all responsible for my actions 

Contessa: thats me in the expensive italian suit looking at the ocean through opera binoculars to see if the surf is up

Vista:  funny how they are called grown ups when all they do is try to bring us down.

Clockblocker: i guess i still have some learning to do. i’m not going to do the learning i’m just acknowledging the fact i haven’t done it

Myrrdin: i don’t know about you guys, and i don’t plan to know about you guys, but to me magic is real

Armsmaster: stop being so defensive i am just trying to hit you with weapons

Panacea: things are going really well for me now that i’ve changed the meaning of really well to the opposite of what it means in my head.

Alexandria:  it happens to the best of us, the best of us such as me, out of both of us im the best one, probably too great to give you usable advice

Eidolon:  when the sun goes out, the air turns to fire, and the streets run red with blood, i am probably to blame for it

Endbringers:  you can ask me about things i may or may not have destroyed all day, the real questions are who? what? when? how? why? and many others 

Scion: problem solving skills are well regarded but where is the respect for the problem creators such as myself 

Glaistig Uaine:  everyone who died and was killed on my quest to get really good hair and fashion deserved it and i dont care

Sprace- Soulmate AU (Markings)

Race slammed his lunch tray on the cafeteria table. “When I meet my soulmate I’m kicking their ass.”

A small laugh bounced around the table. Race’s soulmate was notorious for getting into fights, which usually resulted in Race covered in marks. None of the bruises or occasional cuts actually hurt, but he was still pissed each time he woke up with new ones.

“So the glasses,” Mush began with a chuckle, “Do you really have a-”

“Of course I fucking do.” Race sat down and took off his sunglasses to reveal a sickly yellow-green color coating almost the entirety of his left eye.

Keep reading

ok (1918 words)


cas leaves after being been human for three days and seven hours (not that dean’s been counting).

it’s not a big announcement, either. cas doesn’t own much, it all fits in a backpack, so when he’s slowly making his way to the garage of course dean at first thinks that cas is – whatever, doing some groceries shopping or getting pizza or burgers. he definitely doesn’t think about cas leaving.

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A/N: I got this template from chantenyongs and I could not find the original creator to give proper credit to.

A = Aftercare

When you to were finished you’d be to tired and fall asleep first. He’s still awake and can’t help but look at you and gently rub your shoulders. He wouldn’t go into real aftercare until the morning when you wake up. He’ll make you breakfast in bed and draw you a bath with flower petals and he would maybe even join you for another round (; (; (;

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He’s in love with your neck and how it can go from milky smooth to bruised with hickeys within minutes. His favorite part of himself is his thighs (you’ll find out why if you read on)

C = Cum

He’s the kind of person in my mind who would cum in your mouth if you were giving him a blow job. But when he’s inside of you he’d freeze up while still going deeper to make sure you take every drop of his seed.

D = Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs)

He has a daddy kink people I know don’t know about and I just thought I’d share this tidbit here.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

From his views on marriage I can picture him having dated before but never going further than kissing because he’s said something before about waiting for the right person so you’re his first but he knows what he wants and how to get it from you. He’d make sure you both were satisfied of course but communication needs to be made to ensure you both are having a good time.

F = Favorite position

Him laying down on the bed with you on top but you’re not facing him, your back is.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Sex is serious and should never be taken lightly. Wonho wouldn’t joke at all because he thinks it’ll ruin the mood and isn’t the right time to do so. You two might giggle if something funny accidentally happens but other than that not humor is there. Only love and lust.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they)

Since you may be his first he has never even thought about shaving so for the first couple of times he’ll have a full bush. After a while he might think more about it and shave  more often unless you liked it.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

No matter who tops there’s still love in your touches. Even when you aren’t looking each other in the eye you two are holding hands or hugging as your orgasms come closer.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation)

If you’re not here and he’s alone, what’s stopping him? Exactly.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

THIGH RIDING PLEASE, he can’t explain why but the way you grind on his leg and still cum makes him so horny. You’re so close to his cock but yet so far, and if you stroke him while riding his leg forget it he’s unleashed.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Anywhere with a chair no matter who might walk in. Dressing room, Studio, Bedroom, Living room, etc. He thinks if someone walks in that they should have knocked or something. It might be awkward seeing the member if they walked in on you to but knowing monsta x they might praise Wonho for all we know.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Your moans drive him mad anyway and hearing them getting louder and louder as you come closer to your edge makes him trust (or finger, let’s be honest) into you faster.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He would never ever ever ever ever fuck on the floor, bring out dog collars, or bring in a third person for a threesome.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

The way you taste is the best but when you take his cock so deep into your throat that you gag and still bring your hands up to cup his balls is way better.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Usually fast and semi rough but still gentle to you when you need him to be.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

It would depend on how needy he is or how needy you are. If you both can wait until later you two won’t initiate sex until then but if one of you were begging the other you better find the nearest closet because he’s only got five minutes before he has to go on stage.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

If you wanted to try something new he’d bring out a whole binder of new positions, places, and toys. He does his research.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Little man hoe Wonho can go all night if you let him. You’ll have to tell him to chill because when things start he wants to finish off better than the last round.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Has three different sized vibrators, flavored condoms, fluffy handcuffs, maybe a whip if he finds it soon enough, or and he has some blindfolds that have the days of the week stitched onto them.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He likes to get right to business so he’ll make sure you’re wet as fast as possible and would use lube if you were okay with it.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He’s pretty vocal with moaning but he also likes to praise you for doing a good job.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Wants to try having sex while standing up or on the wall =, OhOhOHoooH or in a pool!

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He’s fucking huge what the heck, how did this happen, why?!?!?!

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

He can get horny easily but I feel he has more endurance then most men and can last about two hours with a hard on with out taking action.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He’s always had problems sleeping so when you two are done he’s up for a while longer. Probably reading a book smh.

~Blake

This thumbnail gives me an idea, Ghoul!Jack. Like, Jack gets taken by this group that runs illegal human experimentation in an abandoned prison. And the experiments done on Jack end up causing him to become a Ghoul, or at least partially. He’s starving, the food they provide doesn’t fill him up at all and he doesn’t know why, he keeps getting these weird urges, they treat him horribly and run torturous tests and eventually he snaps. The ghoul side that they gave him wakes up and he goes on a rampage. The people had no idea just how strong his ghoul half was and everyone except his fellow experiments get slaughtered. He escapes and when Jack comes back to his senses he is horrified, both by the brutal murders he just committed, and by what he has become, now knowing that he is part ghoul. Ghoul!Jack resembles the thumbnail but without the shadows under his eyes and the white eyes and the grey skin tone when himself and when his ghoul side is active he gets the shadows under his eyes and his eyes become bloodshot with glowing blood red irises and extremely thin slitted pupils and his skin becomes extremely pale with a grey pallor to it. If he goes nuts his eyes turn black and only a small, thin slit of glowing red can be seen where his irises and pupils should be. He suffers from PTSD and anything that reminds him of what happened while being experimented on can cause him to snap. Despite his need for raw flesh, human preferably but animal works, his ghoul half isn’t dangerous to people unless they piss him off or something triggers his PTSD and makes him go nuts. His ghoul half acts animalistic, but he’s still there somewhat and tries to steer clear of people lest trouble pops up. It’s hard to gain the trust of his ghoul half but once you do it’s very protective. He no longer goes by Jack or Sean, feeling that part of him died along with his humanity during those experiments, choosing to go by J instead, short for J237-4 his experiment number. He tries to go without eating for as long as he can, hating what he is. He is very strong and his nails are extremely sharp. He’s got a strong jaw and strong teeth, able to chew through even the densest of bones. He’s also quite fast and agile, not to mention flexible. He can heal really fast but more serious wounds will leave scars and take longer to heal then minor cuts and scrapes. His ghoul form is stronger and faster then he is in human form. Whenever he goes nuts he is a lot stronger and faster then he is normally. At some point Shneeplestein finds Jack and tries to find away to reverse what was done to him, a way to turn him back into the loveable man that his fans and egos know and love. And the other egos try to help as best as they can. Whenever Jack goes nuts Anti and Jackaboy Man are the only ones that can keep him restrained and Chase has a knack for calming Jack down since his ghoul side trusts Chase the most. When nothing else works Marvin’s magic is used to make Jack pass out. @schneeplestein-protection-squad @chase-brody-protection-squad @magic-marvin-protection-patrol (( thought you guys might like this ))

me: *still sniffing after 1x13*

dad: so, how was the episode?

me: mY FAV DIED AN EPISODE AGO AND THEY BURNED HIM AND HE IS DEAD AND I WANT TO CRY AND HE ISN’T COMING BACK UNTIL 6x13 AAAAA

dad: ummm, so he is dead or not?

me: you ain’t a Supernatural character unless you died at least twice

How to Destroy SavageHopps (Violet Diaries)
  • Judy: Jack, why don't you come with us to my nephew's wedding.
  • Jack: Pardon?
  • Nick: Yeah, you calm me. I won't bite any rabbis when you're near.
  • Jack: Well if you two would like me to...
  • Finnick: Bad idea.
  • All: Huh?
  • Finnick: Take the hare to that wedding and Judy's family will spend the entire time trying to hook her and him up.
  • All: Ugh...
  • Nick: UNLESS, we get Jack a date!
  • Judy: Good idea! But who?
  • Nick: Someone who would immediately convince the Hopps that Jack is taken. Someone who would smash any and all hope of savagehopps to the ground...
  • Nick: *slowly looks to Finnick*
  • Nick: *smiles*
Objectophile!Oikawa ft. Why is this Happening to me!Iwaizumi

“It’s like ‘Mmmm yes ~ Show me your sexy cross, Mr. Bow Tie~!’ - Right, Iwa-ch-”
“WHO ARE YOU —”

“… Please tell me you’ve never jacked off with a handful of cilantro.”
“Ew, Iwa-chan! How foul! Of course not!”
“Oh thank god–”
“–I just smelled it while jacking off.”
“…”
“… :D”
“… That’s it. I’m leaving you.”
“I-Iwa-chan! Iwa-chan, wait! Where are you going? I WAS JOKING.”

“We are COLLEGE STUDENTS, Shittykawa.  It isn’t happening.  I’m not dropping that kind of dough on fucking SHEETS.”
“I’m not sleeping on that.”
“Seriously, then you can go sleep on the couch.”
“I’m not fucking on that.”
“… Again, the couch is an option.”
“I am not fucking you unless we have 1000 thread count sheets.”
“OMFG as if you could even hold to that promise–”
“I MEAN IT IWA-CHAN.  NO FUCKING FOR YOU.“
"WILL YOU JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!?! THE EMPLOYEES ARE GIVING US WEIRD LOOKS!!”

Somehow, they wind up buying the sheets. Iwaizumi complains the whole time: while paying for the sheets, while putting the sheets onto the mattress, while fucking Oikawa that night —-


So. This all started when @right—meow, @kenbrah and @konekat and I were getting red ribbons for our group cosplay coming up at Anime North 2017. … I was looking for a ribbon on Amazon but came across someone selling cross ties. If you know me from my Hetalia days, you KNOW that I LOVE THE CROSS BOW TIE. It is elegant, sexy and sleek. I always will draw characters in it if I have a chance and I have been doing so for years. In any case, I told them “Guys, if I had to fuck a bow tie, it would be a cross bow tie.” … And Kat said “That sounds like something Oikawa would say.” … AND THUS, THIS WAS BORN. 


A BIG THANK YOU TO KAT WHO HELPED ME RIFF WITH THE DIALOGUE AND TOTALLY SUPPORTED ME THROUGH THIS NONSENSE LOLLLL


I also effing LOVE cilantro. It has a such a vibrant and springy smell and freshens up any dish. Threadcounts is another thing I love. Smooth and silky bed sheets ~ So gentle and snuggly? Um. Yes. Yes every single damn time. … And so this post became literal THINGS I FIND SEXY???? IS THAT WEIRD??? 


I also wanted to add pastel colours - like, the concept of pastel colours… Because I have, many a time, said, “I am such a whore for you, Pastel Colours.” … But didn’t end up drawing that lol


Are there literal things you guys find sexy? … Or am I the weird one…

Booty Noise

Inspired by this post, which appealed greatly to the adolescent boy that resides in my heart.  Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve written Zimbits fart fluff. Sorry, not sorry.  Also on AO3


“And then, and then,” Jack said laughing so hard, he could barely breathe, “Tater said, ‘I guess so!’”

Bitty squealed with delight, the two in bed cackling over Jack’s silly, silly anecdote – when it happened.

A quick and tiny fart, like a shot in the dark by the world’s smallest gun.

Bitty’s laughter died instantly.

Jack’s eyes grew wide, and he sat up in the bed, “Was that?  Did you?” He could barely speak and then he really began to laugh.

“Oh my godddd!” Bitty cried as he covered his face with the sheets.

“Bud, I don’t know if it’s any better down there!” Jack said wheezing.

“Oh my god!  Oh my god! Oh my god!” Bitty yelled from under the blankets, as Jack’s body shook.

Jack wiped his eyes, and then said, “It’s okay, Bittle.  Come on, it’s all right.  Is Señor Bun down there with you?  Does he need CPR?”

Bitty sat up, face red with mortification, “I want to die.”

Jack cleared his throat trying to compose himself.  “It’s fine.  It doesn’t stink, Bittle. I promise.”

Bitty rolled over and said, “I’m going to sleep.”

“Bitty?  Bits?”

No response.

“Dicky?”

Still nothing.

“Okay, fine.  Go to sleep, Bittle.  But it’s not a big deal, I promise you.”

Bitty didn’t respond and immediately feigned sleep.  He’d never talk about it, acknowledge it, and that would be that.  He was a Southern gentleman, for crying out loud.  And gentlemen did not make booty noises in front of their significant others.

Keep reading

ifirestone  asked:

Hi! If you're still taking prompts I was wondering if you could do “What? No. I wasn’t aiming for your hand. I was reaching for the, uh- popcorn.” with Adrienette? I just found your writing and I absolutely adore it

Thanks!!  I hope you like this, it’s a bit outside my normal style and it got a bit out of hand.



Adrien leaned against the back of his white couch, and wished for the millionth time that it was less ‘contemporary European’ and more ‘overstuffed luxury’. Still, he did have his own couch and home theater system in his bedroom, so he figured that he had no business complaining.

Even if his friend (girlfriend?!) did look incredibly stiff and uncomfortable sitting on his admittedly stiff and uncomfortable couch.

He rubbed the back of his neck, searching for something to say as the trailers played.  “So, uh, did you want some popcorn, maybe?”

Marinette jumped a little bit, and blinked.  A lot.  “Yeah, pop-, popcorn, good!”

“Oh-kay.  I’ll just text Nathalie, and let her know.”  He did just that, and smiled conspiratorially as he tucked his phone back into his pocket. “She promised to smuggle the contraband up here.”

She looked confused, and as he’d hoped, it was enough to distract her from whatever had her so stiff.  “Contraband?”

“Popcorn is not on my list of approved snacks,” he said, shrugging.  “But Nathalie is an excellent accomplice, when she wants to be.”

“Oh.  Well, that’s cool, right?”

“For sure!”

She smiled, but didn’t say anything else.

Why was she clamming up?  She hadn’t been like this with him in ages.  He cleared his throat.  “You said you haven’t seen this before, right?”

“What?  Yes.  I mean, no.”

His head tilted in confusion.  “Which is it?”

“Oh, ah, both, actually.”  She giggled nerviously. “Yes, you’re right, and no, I-I haven’t seen it before.”

“Oohh, okay.  Well, you’re going to love it.  It’s about a cat—from outer space!”

“I’d gathered that, actually, from the title.”  She eyed him thoughtfully.  “You’re kind of a dork, aren’t you?”

“Well, yeah, I guess—”

“OHMYGODICAN’TBELIEVEISAIDTHAT!”  She covered her face with her hands, and spoke between her fingers.  “I am so sorry, that was really rude!  Excuse me, I need to crawl beneath this sofa.”

He laughed, and gently pulled her hands from her face.  “It’s fine!  Honestly, it’s nice for someone to see me as something other than perfect.”  There was a knock at the door, and Adrien leapt up to get their popcorn.  “Perfect timing,” he said when he came back, pointing at the screen.  “It’s starting!”

“So it is,” she replied with another giggle.

He sat down in the middle of the couch, closer to Marinette than he’d been before, and kept the popcorn in his lap.  “Want some?”  He asked, knowing that she’d have to move closer still to reach it.

“Sure.”  She scooted over, until she was within easy reach of the large bowl.  

He smiled at his victory, and made a mental note to thank Alya for the suggestion.  “Help yourself, there’s plenty.”

She flashed him a smile, and sat back to watch the movie.  Periodically, she would reach blindly for another handful of popcorn, and eat it daintily, one piece at a time.  

Adrien found himself far more entertained by watching her, than he was by the movie.  She moved each piece to her mouth slowly.  Sometimes her lip would catch gently on the tips of her fingers; sometimes her hand would linger at her mouth, if she was particularly engaged in the movie. Adrien shifted a bit on the couch, in part to resettle the growing evidence of his interest in her mouth, and in part to surreptitiously move closer to her.

She didn’t notice.

Wow.  She must really be enjoying this movie

He frowned, watching her hand dip back into the bowl from the corner of his eye, and then he grinned.  When she was once more nibbling away at her popcorn, he moved his hand to the bowl, and left it there.  Sure enough, when she reached for more, her hand encountered his, and her startled gaze whipped to his face.

“Are you trying to hold my hand, Marinette?”    

Her face flushed an even deeper shade of red than it had been earlier, and he felt guilty for having flustered her. “What? No! I wasn’t aiming for your hand, I was reaching for the popcorn! Not—not that I wouldn’t want to hold your hand.  I mean, I would.  No!  I mean, ugh.  I’ll stop talking now.”

“Marinette, it’s ok!  I was just teasing you.”  His face heated, and he rubbed at the back of his neck again.  “To be honest, it was me.  I left my hand in the bowl, because I’m the one who wanted to hold yours.”

Her eyes widened, and he watched as she first paled, and then flushed scarlet.

“Marinette, are you ok?  Look, I won’t touch you if you don’t want me to—oof!”

He fell back onto the couch, the wind knocked from his lungs by the force of her body landing on his.  Or was the feeling of her lips on his that stole his breath?  Because her lips were definitely on his, and it was a feeling he hadn’t expected, but decided immediately that he liked.

A lot.

But, just as he found the wherewithal to wrap his arms around her, she pulled back with a squeak.

“OhmygodIcan’tbelieveIjustdidthat,” she whispered.  “I’m so sorry, kissing is very different from holding hands, and I tackled you and ohmygodkillmenow.”  She hid her face in her hands again.

Well, that was no good.  He didn’t want her to be uncomfortable, or embarrassed. “Actually, I think kissing is better than holding hands.”

Her hands dropped from her face as she regarded him in surprise.  Which would have been fine, really, except that she was still kneeling between his legs, and when her hands dropped, they landed…there.

Pain exploded low in his belly, and he jack-knifed himself into the fetal position, rolling off of the couch and hitting his head on the coffee table on the way down.

So, that just happened.

“Did I…was that…merde, Adrien, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m…fine,” he croaked, still cradling the family jewels.  

“Did I just, uh…”

“Ye-up.”

She stood.  “I’ll just—I’ll just show myself out.”

“What?”  He pushed himself up from the floor, still moving gingerly, and stood as well.  Man, she’d really nailed him.  “No, I don’t want you to leave.”  

“You—you don’t?”

“I mean, not unless you want to.”

“Oh.  But I—”  She gestured helplessly toward his crotch, and flushed crimson again.

“It’s ok, really.  I know it was an accident.”  He stepped a little closer to her, and brushed her hair back out of her eyes. “And—and I really would like to kiss you again.”

She blinked in surprise, and her lips parted.  

“May I?”

She nodded, and he smiled as he lowered his face to hers.

Imagine Chris being on your set.

A/N: Epilogue 😊 Sorry this chapter was short, and sorta…weird. I don’t know what I was writing, if I’m being honest. I was kind of just writing stuff that came to my mind, or stuff I got from my everyday life (conversations with the ever wonderful @yourenotrogers, for example) I don’t think I really had a plot, but it worked out so- onwards and upwards. You can read the related mini-series and the previous parts here: (Mini-series: ‘Perfect’ - Masterlist; Mini-series Spin-off: ‘Fated’ - Masterlist; Chapter 8: ‘Beginnings’: Part 1/Part 2/Part 3/Part 4/Part 5)

By the time December rolled around, pre-production was almost done. You had a few things to finalize before the shoot could start, and seeing as the shoot was schedule right after the New Year- you had a fairly busy December. You worked up until the 21st, and apologized to Chris the entire time because of how much you were missing. It didn’t help your conscience that Chris had declined his family’s invitation for the annual Disney World trip in Florida. He said it was because Jack was still a baby, but you knew it was because of your work schedule. This was the second time Chris had to pull out of the annual trip, the first time being last year when you were pregnant. You felt so bad you begged him to go and have fun, assuring him the three of you would be fine because your parents were more than happy to drive down and stay for the week. Chris laughed in your face, calling you “ridiculous” for suggesting it. He told you he appreciated the notion, but he wasn’t going anywhere without his wife and baby.

Despite how busy you were, you still had time with your family. You managed a Saturday as well as your usual Sundays where the three of you would go run some Christmas associated errands: tree decorating, gift wrapping, visiting Santa’s Village at your local mall, baking of Christmas cookies, and holiday card photographs. And after the 21st, they had your undivided attention. You all watched Christmas movies, drank hot cocoa, roasted marshmallows outside over the fire pit, dressed in matching Christmas pajamas, and just spent time together as a family.

On the morning of Christmas Eve, the four of you headed down to your parents’ place with plans to stay until Boxing Day. You were excited for Christmas as it was your favorite holiday, but you were more excited to see your older brother. He recently got engaged to the amazing Erica, the girl he’d been with for almost three years now; three years in January actually. The pressure had been on for him since you got engaged to Chris, it further increased when you had Jack. Whenever you and Chris had Donovan and Erica over for dinner, he’d complain about how much pressure your mom was putting on them to get married and have kids. She was hoping her first child would have a child of his own before her second had her second, though you and Chris assured her it was going to be awhile before that happened. Whatever pushed him to finally proposed, you were glad because Erica was as perfect for him as Chris was for you. They were yet to set a wedding date, but at least she had a ring on her finger.

New Year’s came and went as quickly as Thanksgiving and Christmas had. You and Chris actually had a good New Year’s, leaving Jack and Dodger with your parents so you could go to the Downey’s. They had a big New Year’s bash that majority of the Marvel cast and their partners attended, minus a few familiar faces who already had plans. Sebastian and Ava, Chris and Elsa, and Paul and Julie. You were hoping to see Sebastian and Ava, and were devastated when you heard they were sticking with the plan to fly out to LA when Jack turned one. It made sense, even you and Chris didn’t want to fly with Jack unless you really had to. Not only was it a huge job to fly with a baby, you didn’t think frequent flights were good for babies and their immune systems. It wasn’t long now, Jack was turning one in March meaning you and Chris were finally going to meet your godson. Likewise, Sebastian and Ava were finally going to meet theirs. As eager as you were for that to happen, you didn’t really have time to fixate on it as it was now the 15th of January and you were two weeks into your shoot.

Your main cast consisted of four people, and a dog as adorable as Dodger. Most of them were new to the industry like you were, so they made for a good, compromising team. Your leads were all a few years older than you, but they remained respectful and open minded to your direction. While it was because they were all genuinely nice people who saw your small production as an opportunity rather than a chore, it was also because they were fans. They were all fans of Chris, that was pointless to mention. But the girls were actually fans of your work, having followed you on Tumblr when you were still active and reading what was still there despite your leave. They couldn’t believe you were finally doing what you’d said you’d do, and that you actually married the celebrity you wrote about.

Said celebrity was on your set at least twice a week, offering advice where you and your cast needed. Chris being there was always reassuring, like a safety blanket that you could hide under when things got too overwhelming. He’d leave Jack with your parents, sometimes with Donovan and Erica when he visited. He never brought Jack on set because you both agreed it was too out in the open, but he did bring him in when you were working at the studio. Twice a week was the minimum, with thrice being the maximum. Chris would’ve stopped by everyday if it was allowed, but it wasn’t because that wasn’t the point of his hiatus. The point was for him to take it easy and spend time with Jack because unlike you, when he started work his job was going to take him all over the globe and not just a couple hours from home.

Today was one of Chris’ days on your set, and though he was a fountain of knowledge and advice- he was also quite disruptive. He was currently sat behind you, chatting quietly with one of your crew guys. At least, quiet was what he thought he was being. It was no wonder, during your set visits, that Anthony and Joe kept you and Chris separated while the cameras were rolling. If he was that loud with a crew guy, he would’ve been even louder with you- his fiancée at that point in time. You loved the big doof, but you really needed him to quiet down so you could finish the scene and call it a day.

“Does she actually?” Chris laughed and you sighed, yanking your headset down to your neck as you turned around. “I honestly thought she only wore the beret when-” He cut himself off when you cleared your throat. “Oh, sorry.” He winced at your deadpan expression. “Am I being too loud?”

“A little bit,” you nodded and he pretended to zip his lips shut. “Can we have silence on the set please?” You called, making sure all those who’d been chatting were now silent too. “Thank you,” you shot Chris a look; both of you tried not to smile when you said that. “Can we go back to your line, Hailey?” You quizzed and she nodded, doing as you instructed.

Chris’ smile surfaced as soon as you turned your back on him. This was not the first time you’d to remind him to be quiet, and you were both sure it wouldn’t be the last. But still, he couldn’t believe it. His wife, a director, had just told him to shut up on her set. Her set! He was so proud of you, and slightly turned on by how well you were handling the authority your new position gave you. He said he was there to help- which he was, yes. But he was mostly there to watch you work, to observe your leadership skills and ability to orchestrate a movie set. You were doing very well for a girl who said she couldn’t direct, and he was so happy to be able to point at you and say, “that’s my wife.” Every day, he grew even more proud of you.

The day’s shoot wrapped around 5:40PM. After your crew packed the equipment up, you held a small briefing about tomorrow’s shoot before you sent them home to rest and rejuvenate. You and Chris weren’t so lucky, you had to stop by the studio to gather your materials for tomorrow’s shoot before you could start the drive out to your parents’ to pick Jack and Dodger up. Only after all that were you going to get to go home. Thankfully, picking Jack and Dodger up at your parents’ place meant that you didn’t have to worry about cooking dinner; your parents made sure to provide that for their busy daughter and her supportive husband.

The location you filmed at today was on private property which meant the public couldn’t get to you. You and Chris were able to walk hand in hand to his car without security personnel leading. Tomorrow’s shoot, however, was going to have Jason Caldwell present; the security detail hired by Chris through his management team. Jason was usually only requested when Chris had a big red carpet event, or if he was taking you somewhere he didn’t think he could handle the crowd and paparazzi on his own. But now, Jason was requested whenever Chris couldn’t be on set with you. Your husband may have been fine letting you take a cab to work every morning, but he was not letting you take a cab home. He made sure Jason was always there to pick you up after work to drive you home, explaining that it saved him from worrying about you being caught by paparazzi or rowdy fan girls. After three years, despite how happy you made their idol who was your husband and the father of your child- there were still a handful of his ‘fans’ that hated every fibre of your being and wanted to see the relationship to fail. Unfortunately for them, that was never, ever going to happen.

“I almost had to kick you off my set today, Chris Evans.”

“I know, I know.” He pulled his hand from yours, doing hand gestures of every kind to overact how apologetic and grateful he was towards you. “I am just- I feel so bad about that. Really, I am so sorry. You’ve got to excuse me, I was just so nervous. But I know now that I should’ve been more respectful to you, Miss Director.” You tried not to laugh as he firmly took your hand, shaking it. “I am so sorry, thank you for being so patient with me. Really, thank you.”

“You are such a dick,” you laughed and tried to yank your hand from his, only to have him tighten his grip. “God,” you groaned and simultaneously giggled. “What on earth did I see in you, Chris Evans?” You joked, and Chris chuckled; he released your hand to wrap an arm around you, pulling you into him. “They say never meet your heroes. I should’ve listened, but no.” He squeezed you as he laughed. “I had to actively fantasize about being with you, and write fan fiction so well you had to come find me. Why?!” You looked up at the sky, shaking your fist while you exclaimed dramatically. “I asked for a Disney Prince, not this!” That made Chris laugh hard enough for him to do his signature left boob grab.

“Don’t think I don’t know you got that whole-” He shook his fist at the sky as a reference to what you just did; you stifled your laughter. “From Salma. I saw your conversation, talking about finding your Disney Princes. What, I’m not enough for you? Huh?” He pretended to bite your neck with a playful growl, making you squeal with laughter.

“You always read the parts that make me look like a total bitch, you never see the rest.” You defended yourself and he chuckled; he was very aware of the rest and reading it always made his heart swell. You’d never said a bad word about him, he was always up on a pedestal. It was fairly obvious from the way you wrote about him, even before you got to know him- he was your perfect man. Even after you got to know him and he did things that confirmed he was as he said, “a guy who does fuck up-” he was still perfect to you.

“Oh, darling. I always read the rest, I’m too curious not to.”

“Yeah, I know,” you nodded. “Which means you know I’m happy ‘cause I got-”

“Captain freakin’ America,” the two of you said in unison, then burst into laughter. “Yeah,” you sighed with a great deal of satisfaction, smiling up at your handsome husband. “I don’t need a Disney Prince when I’ve got a Super Soldier.”

“And this is why you’re my best girl,” Chris smiled, pressing his lips to your hair.

Tags: @chrisevans-imagines @widowsfics @m-a-t-91 @imaginesofdreams  @katiew1973 @winter-tospring @shamvictoria11 @soymikael @faye22 @always-an-evans-addict @heartblackerthancoffee @whenyourealizethisisntagoodname @yourtropegirl @smoothdogsgirl @createdbytinyaddiction @dreamingintheimpalawithdean @rileyloves5 @buckys-shield @catch-me-im-a-falling-star @tabi-toast @ssweet-empowerment @chrixa @feelmyroarrrr @akidura79 @castellandiangelo @edward-lover18 @yourenotrogers @im-a-fandom-slut @royalexperiment256 @palaiasaurus64 @tacohead13 @badassbaker @pegasusdragontiger @sfreeborn @dorisagent101 @aekr @imagine-cats96 @adeptkillsyasse @shliic @justanotherfangurlz @winchesterandpie @creativeheartgemini @camerica96 @thestarlighthotel @lilya-petrichor @pinkleopardss @lizzysugar @bywonater @avengingalec @nerdingoutismylife @rayleyanns @captainxamerica @lapetitsyrene @01asianista @alwayshave-faith @southernbellestatues @thegirlwiththeimpala @callie-swagg1 @what-if-wenevermet @hillrichhill @patzammit @gerrardisgod


Chapter 9 soon x

Work Visits

Another part to my nurseydex children series! Ive offically deemed this Au “Things That Stop You Dreaming” and it can be found on AO3 under that title!

Enjoy Addy being cute af, plus an introduction to Bella! 

(pst, i posted this in two parts on AO3 but yall will get it all in one bc im lazy)


“Daddy, are we there?”

Derek sighed and looked at his daughter for probably the seventh time in the last 10 minutes he’s been driving. This was the seventh time she asked.

“Addison, I know you have the route to the rink memorized, so I know that you know that we are literally in the arena parking lot. You don’t have to antagonize me.”

Addison gave what could only be described as a shit-eating grin from her spot in the back seat. She swung her legs happily. “I know Daddy, but Papa says that I should mess with you more often. He says its funny”

Derek was going to kill his husband.

Keep reading

Wrong Maynard // Jack Maynard

Word Count- 1358
Summary- Your (EX) boyfriend cheats on you, and when you go to your best friend for comfort, you get comforted by someone you wouldn’t expect.
Warnings; N/A
A/n; Will be offline for a week upcoming, so sorry, I’ll be at camp and post when I get back x
Requested; Yes, thanks for requesting anon ❤️
81 with jack; 81. Excuse me for falling in love with you.
-

“How could you?!” You said, pure anger running through you as you saw your boyfriend in bed with another girl. Deep down, you knew he wasn’t into your relationship anymore. It had been 2 years, and these past few months he’s just been gone lately. Not showing up until early hours of the morning, always sleeping or drinking around you. It wasn’t like that to start, he was always so sweet around you. It occurred to you that he might break up with you, but cheat on you? That’s something you never expected.

“Y/N!” Conor said, horrified. “It isn’t what it looks like, I-” “Save it, Conor.” You said, your broken heart could practically be heard through your words as you held back tears. “Goodbye, Conor.” You said, closing the bedroom door and leaving the flat immediately. You faintly heard Conor call after you, but it stopped quite fast, he probably knew you two were over a long time ago anyway.

Devastated, you got in your car and drove to your best friend, Joe’s house. You didn’t know if he was home, but frankly you didn’t care. You’d wait outside if you had to, you simply needed your best friend.. Even if he was one of Conor’s best friends as well. You knocked on the door, you heard a faint “I’ll get it.” and loud footsteps. You were choking on sobs, hugging yourself to attempt a bit of warmth against the cold London breeze.

The door opened, and a concerned Jack stood at the door. “Oh my god, Y/N? Come here!” He said, pulling you inside and in a hug, which you clung onto him for dear life. You and Jack weren’t necessarily close, in fact, you hardly talked unless you were with Conor. Jack never really took a liking to you, but right now, he was the closest person to you, and willing to let you cry on him.

“JOE!” Jack called over your sobs, rubbing your back soothingly, yet trying to get your best friend’s attention. “Yeah? Who was it?” Joe called from the other room, oblivious. “GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!” Jack yelled, clearly frustrated. Joe came in, confused, until he saw you and instantly ran over, looking at your with wide eyes. “Bloody Hell, Y/N! What happened?”

You could barely pause for breath, so Jack and Joe simply gave each other worried glances. Jack picked you up by your thighs, as you refused to let go, and brought you over to the couch, letting you down lightly. You somehow ended up laying across the two boy’s laps, Your head in Jack’s lap and your legs spread across Joe. You really couldn’t tell.

Finally, you felt like you’d run dry of tears and were now simply sniffling and trying to catch your breath. “C-Conor cheated.” You managed, your voice hoarse from the crying. Jack and Joe both tensed under you, Joe was deadly calm, but the expression on his face said it all. He looked ready to kill Conor. “He WHAT?” Jack yelled, making you jump from his lap, looking at him shocked. “I-it’s okay though! I knew we were over anyway-” You tried to argue but both boys gave you looks to say ‘shut up, it’s not okay.’

You sighed. “Can’t we just get Ice cream and watch a movie, like we used to Joe?” You asked, giving your best pleading face. Joe sighed. “I’ll go pick some up. You stay here with Jack, Y/N, if I let you come out with me, you’ll kill me later for letting you go out “looking like that.”” He finished, mocking you. You scoffed and pouted, but had a smile on your face. Joe always knew how to cheer you up. Joe’s face lightened when he saw your smile as well. “I’ll be back shortly. Choose a movie.” He said, grabbing his coat and slipping out the door.

You and Jack sat down, turning on Netflix and going through, settling on a movie. It was quiet for a minute, you both were unsure of what to say. “I’m sorry. You don’t deserve that, my brother’s an idiot.” Jack said, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. “It’s not your fault.” You said, trying not to cry again. You were done crying over him.

“My brother is such a dick, honestly, how could he cheat?” Jack said, making you feel a bit uncomfortable. You wanted to get your mind off of Conor, not remember it. “Can we just not talk about it?” “I just can’t believe he would do something like that. Be so lucky as to find a girl as amazing and as beautiful as you and let her go so easily. What an idiot.” Jack continued, making you snap.

“Can you just stop? I thought you were going to try and help me get over and forget Conor, not remember him! I know he cheated on me, thanks for reminding me I’m not good enough for him!” You said, your eyes filling with tears yet again. Jack looked at you, guilt in his eyes. “Y/N, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean..”

“Of course you didn’t mean it! No one ever does, yet they do it anyway! Why do you care so much Jack? We aren’t even friends! We only talk when we have to, we’ve never even gotten along! Why are you all of a sudden being so nice to me?” You asked, more so in a demanding tone. “Excuse me for trying to make up for my brothers mistake. Excuse me for trying to be a better person! Excuse me for falling in love with you!” Jack yelled, quickly covering his mouth as the last sentence left his mouth, eyes wide.

You stared at him blankly. You were speechless. “Y-you’re in love with me?” You asked, your voice cracking. You were not expecting that; especially not today, when your boyfriend just cheated on you. “Jack, I..” You looked at him properly, seeing the vulnerable look in his eyes, he looked really cute. It was certainly something you wouldn’t mind getting used to. “It’s fine.” Jack said sternly, trying to stay collected. “I just got out of a relationship, with your brother no less-” you tried to say, but he cut you off. “No, Y/N, I don’t need your pity. It’s fine.”

“Jack. Shut up and let me talk.” You said sternly, he nodded, hanging his head to hide his face. “I just got out of a relationship, with your brother no less, BUT, if you give me a bit of time to move on, and Conor’s okay with it, I’d be willing to give us a chance.” You said, smiling at him. He looked up at you, unsure. “I don’t want to force you into anything, Y/N.” “You aren’t, Jack.” You assured him, giving him a quick hug. “Well then. I’ll wait as long as it takes. As for Conor, I really don’t think he’ll care. He’s known I had a crush on you since he introduced you to me.” Jack said, sheepishly.

“Really? That long?” You asked, and he nodded. “And to think, I thought you hated me.” You laughed along with Jack. “Yeah, no. I was maybe just a tiny little bit jealous of Conor.” Jack said, refusing to meet your gaze. “Well I think it’s cute.” You said cheekily. Jack grinned, and went to reply, when the door swung open and Joe re entered.

He was surprised to see you and Jack, sitting on the couches with big smiles on your faces. “I’m not even going to ask.” Joe said, holding up the grocery bags containing the ice cream. “Movies and ice cream still?” He asked, grinning as you nodded furiously.

The rest of the night you, Joe and Jack all sat watching movies and cracking jokes, generally having a good time. One Maynard may have broken your heart, but the other would do a fine job of mending it. You barely knew it, but it turns out after all that time, you were with the wrong brother, when the right one was here all along.

anonymous asked:

Hey Jax I have a question. So Ive been working out for a while now and I built a pretty impressive physique but I dont look that Buff in person. When people see me they Say you Looked Jacked on Facebook so why do you look so Skinny and it pisses me though it does give me a reason to show off my Gainz. What should i do?

Ahhhh YES. That is an All too Common thing when people make Gainz especially people who train Naturally. You get a Nice Physique but you look like you dont even lift UNLESS you take your shirt off Dude it Happens to the Best of us We look SUPER JACKED in Photos but in regular clothes we look Just Average

Originally posted by kaeveeoh

Building Muscle while trying to Keep a low body fat takes a LONG time but it looks nice Heres some examples. 

Heres my Bro Myles in a Long SLeeve shirt

Here he is without his shirt

Heres my Friend Ez with his shirt

here he is without his shirt

Here I am in Standard clothing

Here I am without it

Hell even Saitama has this issue

You look thinner in Clothing but the reveal is cooler

Personally it used to bug me when I was going through it but when I took my shirt off at the pool and people just stared thats a moment I’ll always remember. So think of it Like this. You are Playing on Smurf Mode

, No one knows how badass you Really are. Its like you are Hiding your power level

So keep that in mind and keep your training up and remember its better than Being T-shirt buff, ya know Big Arms but no Definition whatsoever and most likely a gut (unless you’re a power lifter and thats cool) So you’ll always have that ;) ALSO WEAR FORM FITTING CLOTHES

Baby plans

Pairing: Joe Sugg X Reader

Request: No

Fandom: Buttercream squad

Prompt: Joe and (Y/N) are preparing for their baby to be born

~~

“Have you packed your hospital bag, love? Just incase they decide to pop out soon?” Joe questioned, rubbing your heavily pregnant stomach.

“Yeah. I packed last week, since my tummy dropped. Widget could come any day now.” You smiled at him, as he continued to draw shapes on your stomach making the baby kick.

“Boy or girl?” Joe asked, you rolled your eyes.

“I don’t wanna get my hopes up, Joe.” You said, he smiled and nodded.

“I know, but it’ll be a little boy.” He said confidently. You’d always wanted a little boy then a girl.

“We will love widget regardless.” You said, he smiled and kissed your forehead before getting up and making you something to eat.

“Honestly Joe, you feed me so much I’m not sure if it’s the food or widget taking up my stomach.” You laughed, accepting the bowl of fruit.

“Okay, I’m gonna go call Jack about a collab. If anything happens, even if you think it’s nothing you know the code word?” He said, you nodded a smirked.

“Pineapple.” You said, he nodded and smiled. Kissing you before leaving the room to call Jack.

“Only one more week until you’re born little one, unless you wanna come out sooner. I don’t mind, we won’t tell daddy about this conversation.” You said to your stomach lightly before you felt a gush of water.

“Shit, Joe?” You shouted, you could hear him laughing.

“Joseph?” You called again, still nothing. “PINEAPPLE!” You screamed, he came running through, phone presses to his ear.

“Now?!” He said, beginning to panic.

“Either I’ve just peed myself or my waters broke.” You said, smiling as he began to rush around the house. He grabbed your hospital bag, and anything else he deemed necessary while still on the phone to Jack.

“Jack text the lads that they’re about to become uncles, I’ll text the group chat when you can all come see widget.” He said, hanging up and helping you to the car.

“Shit, (Y/N), we still don’t have a crib yet!” You laughed.

“I may have ordered one last week.” You said, he looked relived.

“You’re already so good at this parenting thing!” He laughed, the drive to the hospital was short and before you knew it you were laying on a hospital bed in a gown.

“Here we go love, you can do this. I love you so much, come on baby.” Joe said, holding your hand as you began to push.

Your son, Elliot Christoper Sugg was born on the 23rd February at 7:46pm weighing 6 pounds 10.


“He’s got your eyes.” Joe said, as you held him to your chest. “I can’t wait for the guys to meet him! I’m a dad, (Y/N), I’m an actual dad and Zoë is an aunt and this is actually real!” He said excitedly, and that’s when you knew more than ever that Joe Sugg would be the best dad to your child.

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I’ve been away a while, sorry about that but here’s an imagine and I hope you all like it, have a wonderful day/night!