unleashing the kraken

  • My ship: *is literal perfection and best thing ever*
  • Author: *blows holes in to ship, sails into a typhoon, unleashes the kraken*
actual things that happen in the Book of Mormon/why it is the most Extra™ musical ever
  • “Have fun in hell!”
  • *doorbell buzzes* “HELLO WOULD YOU LIKE TO CHANGE RELIGIONS I HAVE A FREE BOOK WRITTEN BY JESUS”
  • Norway: land of gnomes and trolls
  • France: land of pastries and turtlenecks
  • Japan: land of soy sauce and Mothra
  • Elder Price’s lifelong dream is to get sent on a mission to Orlando, Florida, but instead he gets sent to Uganda
  • “UGANDA! COOL! ….where is that.”
  • Kevin goes along with the happy upbeat choreography despite feeling extremely ripped off
  • “well, he has a very active imagination–” “I LIE A LOT!” “no”
  • Kevin’s dad actually gets a random woman to dress up like someone in The Lion King and sing Circle of Life
  • “Personally I like Star Wars, but I’m willing to like Star Trek more if you think it’s better”
  • the writers probably only made Price’s first name Kevin because it rhymed with heaven
  • You and Me (But Mostly Me) aka every group project ever
  • Arnold tries to make a video diary
  • Josh Gad screaming
  • the entirety of Hasa Diga Eebowai (it’s such a jam though)
  • “Raise your middle finger to the sky and curse his rotten name!” “wait what”
  • “Well, let’s see. Eebowai means God, and Hasa Diga means, Fuck you. So I guess in English it would be: Fuck you, God!” “WHAT?!
  • Cunningham gets REALLY into it.
  • someone tries to fuck a baby
  • “But that’s horrible!” “I know!” “Hasa Diga Eebowai!”
  • everyone has AIDS
  • Nabulungi has the purest expression on her face while doing the most vulgar choreography ever
  • All the nicknames for Nabulungi, including but not limited to: Bambamchelfi, Jon Bon Jovi, Hockaloogie, Nagasaki, Nabagamba, Neutrogena, Neosporin, Nintendo 64, Nordstrom, and Nutella
  • Elder Poptarts
  • a fun, lighthearted tap number about repressing your emotions
  • Elder Thomas was out buying an iPhone while his sister was dying of cancer
  • “My hetero side just won” *thumps chest*
  • when the lights go down and when they go back up all of the Mormons are dancing and wearing pink sparkly vests. Including Kevin.
  • “Imagine that your brain is made of tiny boxes, then find the box that’s gay and CRUSH IT!
  • Andrew fucking Rannells had to have the words “no, no, i’m not having gay thoughts” come out of his mouth
  • the sound of tap dancing in the background as Elder McKinley leaves the living quarters
  • “There is no Bishop Donaghue! I made him up!”
  • arnold cunningham just wants his dad to be proud of him for once
  • Cunningham steals Price’s blanket despite having one of his own
  • Nabulungi uses a typewriter as a texting device
  • Cunningham has a panic attack when he sees that there’s no doorbell
  • Gotswana has maggots in his scrotum
  • “what the fuck is a steak knife”
  • General Butt Fucking Naked
  • Nabulungi, one of the purest characters in musical theatre, singing “soon life won’t be so… shitty”
  • AFRICA IS NOTHING LIKE THE LION KING.
  • “So he crawled up on that cross, and he stuck it out” hjdhfjqgfhnjs
  • Elder Cunningham hip thrusting to rock metal
  • “YOU’RE NOT MY FATHER” *stabs Darth Vader*
  • “Heavenly Father, why do you let bad things happen? More to the point, why do you let bad things happen to me?”
  • “We will listen to the fat white guy”
  • right as Act 1 ends, Gotswana reminds us that he has maggots in his scrotum
  • “i know you’re really depressed, what with all your AIDS and everything,”
  • Arnold’s conscience consists of his father, Joseph Smith, Moroni, hobbits, and Yoda
  • arnold convinces everyone that fucking a frog is the solution to all your problems
  • clitoris
  • Boba Fett
  • Kevin mistakes hell for disneyworld
  • Elder Price has spent his life plagued by guilt over blaming his brother for eating a donut with maple glaze when he was five (5) years old
  • Elder Price has a nightmare that he gets sent to hell and Jesus calls him a dick
  • spooky wooky
  • Hitler makes an appearance, because of course he does
  • Elder Price thinks abandoning your mission companion is worse than serial murder and genocide
  • McKinley dancing seductively with the red boa
  • Jeffrey Dahmer and Kevin’s dad having anal sex
  • McKinley blowing Hitler
  • the music stops just so Kevin can scream that he can’t believe Jesus called him a dick
  • “That would take something… incredible” *spotlight on Kevin as his head whips around to face the audience fast enough to get whiplash*
  • Andrew Rannells licking his lips every other line at the Tonys
  • “AND I BELIEVE THAT IN 1978, GOD CHANGED HIS MIND ABOUT BLACK PEOPLE” (“BLACK PEOPLE”)
  • Elder Price forces General Butt Fucking Naked to dance with him
  • baptism is a euphemism for sex
  • “I’M WET WITH SALVATION”
  • A song called I Am Africa sung by the whitest people ever with the whitest choreography ever
  • Elder Price actually gets the Book of Mormon shoved up his ass
  • “let us smile and laughrica”
  • Elder Price drinks twelve (12) cups of coffee because he’s lost all faith in the Mormon religion
  • just fucking. planet orlando
  • orlando (reprise)
  • “I’m Joseph Smith, and I’m going to fuck this baby!” “WHAT”
  • Moroni from the Starship Enterprise
  • “Will you fight the clitoris man?”
  • magical fuck frog
  • “Let’s be really fucking polite to everyone!”
  • the dysentary sequence
  • Jesus wanting everyone to fuck each other and everyone wears HUGE dick garments
  • “SHE’S GONNA GET HER CLIT CUT OFF AND IT’S ALL MY FAULT”
  • Nabulungi convinces everyone that Elder Cunningham was eaten by lions and then Cunningham walks in and they’re like “HE HAS RISEN”
  • “If you do not get out of this village right now, he is gonna command the Angel Moroni… from the DEATH STAR… and unleash the KRAKEN! Which will then…” “Which will then launch Joseph Smith’s TORPEDOES from its mouth of CHRIST and turn you into a LESBIAN!”
  • the fact that that somehow scares off General Butt Fucking Naked
  • elder price says fuck
  • “my name is Elder Butt Fucking Naked.” (brief pause) “did you know that the clitoris is a holy sacred thing”
  • The book of Arnold
  • the last line of the show is literally Gotswana singing “I still have maggots in my scrotum!”

anonymous asked:

do you have any advice for overcoming your apprehension and posting your work? I write a lot of non-smut stuff and I have so many nasty ideas that I know I should write about just to get out of my system, but I get so shy when I start typing I get really flustered and then I just stop but I feel like if I don't post about them I'll just be even more sexually frustrated I'm so close to just making a separate blog, writing under a fake name and being as nasty as I want but I'm still kinda hesitant

Honestly, the first time you write smut or anything explicit, unless you’re one of the lucky ones who have somehow escaped the ingrained shame of mentioning or writing about sex, this is the only way it’s gonna get done. You won’t get over the embarrassment immediately (and you may have to always deal with some semblance of it). I still find myself feeling apprehensive when writing sex scenes; I just got used to writing through internally screaming, LOL!

Hitting post is the next hardest part, but once you do… well, if you’re like me, you only stay long enough to tag the work nsfw and run for the damn hills.

You’re right though, if you keep it repressed then it’s likely that your muse will tear you apart like an alien erupting from your stomach just like the movie, HAHA! And we can’t have that. Look at how thirsty this fandom is! And if what you’re writing isn’t for FFXV, trust me that there are a lot of people ghosting about that will thank all the gods ever that you had the courage to write stuff that they have yet to put to paper but will eagerly consume as if they found an oasis in the desert of thirst. A lot of them may be too shy to come forward, but they will be reading.

I definitely encourage creating a side blog for your writings and the freedom that comes with operating under a pseudonym when foraying into smut. It works very well for people who feel they cannot fully let their hair down otherwise. And there are so many actual published authors who do the same thing, so it’s not shameful or abnormal!

I always encourage more filth in fandoms. I will always be supportive of people getting out there, making their debut, eventually getting their own following no matter how small, and spreading their thotty wings. So… I shall now leave you with this wise parting gif.

anonymous asked:

1/2 So, i've seen people suggest that that the reason Dean wasn't affected by hunger in the horsemen episode was because what he desired--Castiel--was with him. And i'm just not sure? Like, at that point in the series, things were a bit more doom and gloom and Dean's arc of being empty and dead was in full swing, so i tend to agree with Famine that Dean was struggling with those issues, and maybe his own inner struggles/beliefs about himself were powerful enough to not be affected.

2/2 Maybe it was so powerful he didn’t feel the affects like others, even if we know he was not in fact actually dead inside. Plus, while back then there was some obvious tension (sexual and otherwise) i’m not sure anything Dean was feeling or starting to feel for Cas would’ve been strong enough to subdue Famine’s effects. I like to read destiel into things as much as the next person, but i do really believe that situation was less about just destiel and more about a greater arc.

Hi! I… haven’t ever actually read that particular theory, I don’t think. I firmly believe that Dean WAS affected by Famine. Even Sam noted that Dean was acting “out of character” long before Cas ever showed up:

SAM Well…I mean, we got our feelers out. Not much more we can do tonight. All right. I’m just gonna go through some files. You can go ahead and get going.
DEAN Sorry?
SAM Go ahead. Unleash the kraken. See you tomorrow morning.
DEAN Where am I going?
SAM Dean, it’s Valentine’s day. Your favorite holiday, remember? I mean, what do you always call it– Uh, unattached drifter Christmas?
DEAN Oh, yeah. Well… be that as it may…I don’t know. Guess I’m not feeling it this year.
SAM So you’re not into bars full of lonely women?
DEAN Nah, I guess not. ( takes a sip of his beer) Ahh. What?
SAM That’s when a dog doesn’t eat– That’s when you know something’s really wrong.

Just like all the other Horsemen though, they weren’t entirely right about  their assumptions about Dean.

In 5.02 War seriously underestimated Dean and Sam’s ability to overcome his influence and save the town (and defeat him personally by claiming his ring). In 5.21 Pestilence also underestimated Sam, Dean, AND Cas, and the three of them working together were able to both defeat HIM as well as his long-range plans to distribute the Croatoan Virus. The only Horseman who really understood Dean and therefore was able to come out the better from their encounter was Death. But that’s only because they had similar endgame goals.

So I take Famine’s words to Dean with the same grain of salt I took Pestilence’s words to Cas, believing Cas was no threat to him.

I mean, not even CAS HIMSELF was able to subdue Famine’s direct influence over him. But the craving Dean felt IN HIMSELF was for the sort of contentment and satiation of having that “gaping hole” in himself filled  by ALL the coping mechanisms he’d developed over the years for “filling that emptiness” in himself. Not that he’d crave the coping mechanisms themselves, but that he’d crave the sort of comfort and satiation of NOT NEEDING THE COPING MECHANISMS to achieve that feeling within himself.

I hope this makes sense. 

Because in THIS sense, his comfort and openness with Cas throughout the episode, his easy camaraderie and then concern for Cas when he could see Cas falling to Famine’s influence is where the actual Destiel feelings are. That without Dean’s constant need to fill that gaping hole, THIS is how he could be all the time. At peace with himself, comfortable and content, able to enjoy Sam and Cas’s company fully without feeling that weight of guilt and emptiness in himself, or feeling the need to satisfy those cravings in order to feel worthy of Sam and Cas’s companionship, or the fear that he’d LOSE that companionship because of that emptiness and worthlessness he felt inside himself.

Gah. I REALLY hope this makes sense.

Part One: I Could Just Eat You Up. (My Bloody Valentine S05E14)

Episode Summary: Castiel helps Sam, Dean and the reader hunt down Cupid on Valentine’s Day after people begin killing each other for love. But things become worse when each of them starts to be consumed with their own lust for hunger.
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Word Count: 4,605.

Previous Part | Supernatural Rewrite Masterlist

Originally posted by everlastingstarlight

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Welcome to Mama’s 100 Quotes of Supernatural Challenge!!!

Wow! I am truly amazed at all of you wonderful people in Tumblr land. After 1 year on here I have 2000 followers!!!! (OK, so I know my blog is not a big ole bomb of excitement the majority of time but I am still tickled pink!)

So to celebrate my 1 year blog anniversary, I am going to do a 2-part thing. I put a poll out a few weeks ago to see what all of you would like and the 2 popular responses were a challenge and for me to do some more blog promo’s. You asked so shall you receive!!

I have searched and searched for some of the most memorable, funniest, best quotes from our beloved characters of Supernatural. Below the cut you will find the list. I have tried to include at least 1 quote from just about everyone (well, from a whole bunch of them anyways) but the majority of the quotes do belong to our sexy Dean, Sam, and Castiel! So keep on reading to see the list and the rules for this challenge!!

(And feel free to hop on over to my other part of this challenge, Mama’s “Spread The Love” Blog Promo’s and shoot me some suggestions!)

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anonymous asked:

The paladins favourite cryptid and why?

Shiro: Hellhound. Shiro finds hellhounds relatable to him. They’ve both been used for their strength and have done atrocious things.

Lance: Kraken. Lance loves the Kraken purely for the meme-factor of screaming “UNLEASH THE KRAKEN” each time he goes into battle with his lion.

Keith: Chupacabra. This creature isn’t Keith’s favorite, but it’s the only one he knows quite a bit about from living in the desert.

Pidge: Jersey Devil. Pidge likes to imagine a devil flying around with a New Jersey accent even if it isn’t accurate.

Hunk: Bigfoot. Hunk likes to jokingly compare himself to the creature.

anonymous asked:

Jeanmarco fic recs please?

ooOH BOY. You have unleashed the Kraken, Anon.

Putting the list under a cut because shit is about to get real.

EDIT// I CAN’T BELIEVE I KEEP FORGETTING but you guys should also check out jeanmarcofanfics. They are amazing and literally specialize in JM fanfics, pfft.

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dominicknapper-blog  asked:

Do you think Jurassic World looks dumb?

You’ve unleashed the kraken, my friend.

I am excited for JP4, as I am excited for any movie that has dinosaurs in it, and that theme music gets me every time because I remember how beautiful it was to see that first film. The first film showed us dinosaurs as they’d never been seen, dinosaurs based on thorough research (though not without their faults— those raptors and dilophosaurus for instance) and it changed the way dinos were portrayed in media forever.

And this is why I am so, so upset with JP4. It’s showing us the same old green-skinned scaly monsters and totally ignoring DECADES of new developments. It’s ignoring the reason why the first film worked so well— it was something new, based on actual scientific research. People love innovation, and many love learning really neat science facts, and JP4 is in no way going to do either of those.

Now I have heard the arguments FOR the scaly green-skinned boring designs:

1. “But Abby, there’s an in-universe explanation, they have frog DNA! They’re just trying to stay consistent.” Never, never never say “but there’s a canonical reason” for something that’s problematic. . Someone at some point made a conscious decision to make it so, it’s not some unchangeable law that must be adhered to. It’s been at least 20 years in-universe since the first movie, are we really supposed to believe they didn’t keep making developments in their cloning process? Remember how frog DNA fricked everything up by making the dinos able to reproduce? What if they changed it to bird DNA once it became apparent that birds and dinos were so closely related, and to stop them from changing sex? And beyond all that the important thing to remember here is that it doesn’t MATTER if they aren’t exactly supposed to be dinosaurs in-universe, people who watch this movie are going to see them as dinosaurs. They are going to come away from this film thinking the “feathers theory” is still some weird fringe science and REAL dinosaurs are still green and scaly and naked. Also calling “consistency” when the dinosaurs’ appearances were changed between films is hardly a steady argument.

2. “There’s no way we could know what they look like so why even bother, we can make them look however we want!!1!” This is you choosing to ignore the vast wealth of knowledge we DO have. Paleontologists aren’t just making wild guesses, sitting around thinking “whooa duuude what if they had feathers, wouldn’t that just be wild” we KNOW. We have FOSSIL EVIDENCE. Technology has progressed to a point that we can look at the same fossil we had 30 years ago and find countless more details we didn’t know were there, didn’t think to look for. We even know what COLOR some feathers were, we know there were feather mites that preyed on those feathers. Trackways tell us how they walked, how many walked, where they walked. Fossilized nesting sites give us clues on how they cared for their young. We know so much, there is no reason to ignore the incredible amount of research people have done just because we haven’t seen living, breathing non-avian dinosaurs with our own eyes, especially considering the fact that so many people don’t know about all the stuff we know, because public outreach movies like JP4 keep blatantly ignoring it.

3. “But feathered dinosaurs look stupid, like big chickens. They could never sell that to an audience!” Okay look. People are going to see JP4. If you make it look good, and you have Chris Pratt, and you have Chris Pratt on a motorcycle riding with some velociraptors, people will see this movie. And is a chicken the only bird anyone knows? Have you never heard of the bearded vulture? Or eagles, and the fact that they attack BEARS? Even small birds are a formidable opponent to a person. And their feathers make them look magnificent, not stupid. In order to design crowd-pleasing dinosaurs, we don’t need to strip them of their feathers, we need designers who know what they’re doing. The blog paleoillustration reblogs excellent paleo art from capable artists, a game called Saurian is being developed that is using incredible artists such as grimchild to create the most accurate and beautiful dinosaurs possible, Emily Willoughby is excellent at using bird influences to make realistic feathered dinosaurs (including one of my favorite depictions of Microraptor!)— feathered dinosaurs do not look stupid. Even if they look stupid to you, that doesn’t stop them from existing, and perhaps you should immerse yourself in the world of feathered dinosaurs some more and get used to it, because they are here to stay. You aren’t getting Pluto back, and you aren’t getting your naked monsters back, either. When good scientists are presented with theories that disprove old theories, they don’t wallow in nostalgia, they accept it and move forward.

4. “Why do you even care so much, geez, it’s just a movie” Nothing is ever “just a movie”. Even if you think you aren’t, you are affected by what you see in movies. We tend to believe what we see in movies, even some of the ridiculous stuff. Movies can be an excellent way to present science to people in an easy to digest format, as we saw with JP1. Sure, the science was ridiculous, but it got people interested in actual dinosaurs. JP4 will be the only exposure most people have to dinosaurs— and it is decades behind. People will keep chuckling to themselves when I draw them a dinosaur with feathers, asking “haha so you buy into the feather theory?” as if it’s something a scientist posited in a fit of insanity, totally unsupported by evidence. When people keep seeing naked dinosaurs in pop culture, they assume that must be the accepted idea of what they looked like, or else it would be changed. So I have to make a stink, so I can get the word out that Paleontologists and even Junior Paleontologists absolutely do not support the current portrayal of dinosaurs in the media. This way, we can get more movies such as Dinosaur Island which I very much look forward to seeing, and Saurian which I very much look forward to playing.

And why does learning about accurate dinosaurs matter? Why should we want to learn about these weird bird/reptiles that died millions of years ago? Because learning about the world we live in is important. Just as we want to figure out how we fit into the universe, we want to figure out how we fit on our own planet, where we came from, our life history. This isn’t just a bunch of sheltered nerds sitting around saying “Well actually…” in a nasally voice, it’s an entire branch of science whose accomplishments are being ignored because a bunch of nostalgic 20-somethings are afraid of change and think “feathers look stupid, like a chicken”

All this being said, I am still going to see it the day it comes out, in the best seats in the house. 

Meant to Be

Summary: A meeting with Cupid leaves some tension between you and Dean

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 2807

Warning: Fluff

(A/N): Originally on Wattpad, but since I had no ideas for any other stories, might as well give you guys something am I right?

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Better Memories

A winter morning much like any other; the rain and thunder outside providing a calming ambience. The night guard, thankful for surviving another night, rushes to head home after a quick good-morning conversation with the boss. The rabbit has steadily become more aggressive in moving toward the office, and confident as he is that nothing would happen, he’s not willing to find out if he’s right. After all, the customers had to sign those waivers for a reason, right?

The guard did swear that something was particularly off about the place tonight, but couldn’t quite place it. Of course, he didn’t really have time to look around, what with frantically switching between camera views and rebooting systems, then quickly leaving upon Springy’s automatic deactivation. There isn’t usually a cupcake figurine on the desk, is there? It’s surprising that any would have lasted this long, but sure enough, there one is. If the woman were to pick it up, they would discover it’s quite loose; it’s actually a container that’s partly unscrewed.

Inside lies a crumpled up paper:
In our rush to create paradise, we forgot to ask if anyone wanted to come along. Now, we don’t know where you are. Most of those people - the ones of a certain violet persuasion - have been dealt with. The magic is slowly healing. But we’ll have to reach deeply into the few remaining shadows to find you. If by some miracle you end up not only receiving this, but past a time when you’ve met us, know that we are sorry for having disappeared like that. Hopefully you would still consider us friends because we’d very much like to see you again. Please stay well until that day comes. When I said I would be there to help you, to guide you down a happier path, I did mean that.

The letter has no signature, but a second page is beneath it. Printed on it is a photo, showing three animatronic characters atop a semicircular stage. The most unfamiliar of them is a dark orange and white chipmunk with green eyes and a skirt. She grins as a kid hands her a book. On the opposite side, a fluffy golden bear with red eyes wearing a kinked witches hat points a wand at the camera while winking. Front and center is an owl with muted red, brown, and white feathers, yellow-green eyes, and reading glasses. He has an overexcited look on his face and is waving. Inside his open beak, a human’s grin can be seen. The image is captioned with ‘Story Corner - 12/12/72’, but does that mean 1972?

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