university of satan


okay, but imagine:

natalie somehow ends up tumbling into Hades by mistake, and she’s told “don’t eat anything”

(of course, she does it anyway)

⁕  and so now that she’s bound to Hades they have to take her to Satan to figure out her fate and she is surprised to find that he’s a spaniard but

and then flips him the bird —

⁕ — to which he grins, very slowly and very dangerously

⁕ and so he challenges her to a game of cards (uno), telling her that if she wins she can leave to go home

⁕ but if he wins, she has to spend every winter with him as penance for both doing what she was told not to (eating the avocado pomegranate) and for flipping him off

⁕ she loses (”RIGGED”)

⁕ (”looks like i have some very pretty company to look forward to each winter”)

⁕ she discovers she quite prefers Hades to her own home — the denizens there are really very sweet, and she no longer has to worry about aging

⁕ she finds herself rather sad every time she must return home each spring

⁕ natalie begins to fall in love with satan and becomes very shy around him

⁕ satan can’t stop thinking about how beautiful she is

        ☆ he loves to play with her hair

        ☆ she tells him stories to soothe his insomnia

        ☆ he calls her ‘mi girasol’ (spanish for my sunflower)

⁕ they dance a lot, because natalie knows satan loves it (and she, in turn, comes to enjoy it just as much)

⁕ except a problem occurs when natalie returns one spring to be told by her father that he’s offered her as a sacrifice to Ares (jericho) for marriage (”but i can’t, i’m already in love, ba,”) (”i’m sorry, natalie”)

⁕ satan hears about it and literally bLOWS HIS TOP (”that woman, thinking she can just ditch me”)

⁕ he rescues her from the clutches of Ares (although, he discovers, he didn’t much need to — Ares is …. pretty much black and blue by the time he gets there, courtesy of natalie theodora mykopos)

⁕ they marry under the moonlight in the summer, natalie in a florally - embroidered minimalist dress with a wreath of sunflowers crowning her head

⁕ (”i love you.”)

⁕ (”forever? not just winter?”)

⁕ (”forever. te amo.”)

they never age; dancing the nights away in his court of bones and dust.

        ✯  bonus: natalie enjoys wearing oversized bows, and it’s literally the cutest thing ever.

additional notes: thanks to @scarvistar for the help compiling* these! also, if you would like to use these or smth, just hmu and ask! thank

*this means we just babbled for like, ever about various aus and their cuteness. there wasnt really any compiling.



Not all Satanist’s are atheists.
LaVeyan Satanism isn’t “The real Satanism”.
Not all Theistic Satanist’s believe in the Christian or Catholic God.
Not all Theistic Satanist’s associate their beliefs with the Christian or Catholic religion.
Theistic Satanism was here before LaVeyan Satanism.
There are more types of Satanism than just LaVeyan/Athiestic.
Not all Theistic Satanist’s believe in the Christian or Catholic depicted Satan.

Do some research, and open your mind a bit before you spout lies and ignorance.

Of course I’m not talking about all LaVeyan’s, just the ones with an ego bigger than the universe.