university ambassador

Humans are Space Kobolds

I was going to make a “Humans are Space Orcs” post pertaining to the Humans of Mass Effect, but every point I tried to make was overshadowed by Krogan biology.

So instead here’s a list of reasons Krogans make human biology look like stuffed animals.

  • Prior to the genophage one krogan could have upwards of 1000 children over the course of a year.
  • Krogan have wideset eyes for 240 degree vision, meaning it’s night impossible to ambush them.
  • Krogans have humps to store fluids and nutrients to survive extended periods, while a human could live isolated for a little under a month a Krogan could last three times that.
  • Krogan hides make primitive weaponry useless. Anything short or an omniblade would bounce right off, at best bruising the Krogan if they’re sick.
  • Krogan can live anywhere and eat anything. They’re borderline impervious to environmental hazards such as extreme temperatures, and if it has any nutritional gain they can eat it. They’re immune to most toxins meaning poisonous plants and venomous animals are still fair game.
  • Two hearts, four lungs, four testicles, and two nervous systems. Humans might be able to graft the organs of the dead to replace their own lost organs, but Krogans just flat out have spares.
  • We don’t really know the natural life expectancy of a Krogan only because most die in battle before they can die of old age. It’s theoretically possible for Krogan to make the trip to Andomeda without need of cryosleep and still have centuries left to live. 

I would say that humans are the Space Goblins to the krogan’s Space Orc but the thing is, we’re not even that. The Vorcha are Space Goblins, let’s talk about them for a moment shall we?

  • Vorcha have the most unique biology in the galaxy with clusters of non-differentiated cell, kinda like a worm.
  • They have regenerative abilities to the point of regrowing lost limbs after a few months.
  • Vorcha are able to adapt to enviroments in a matter of days, like adjusting to temperature or living conditions.
  • Each vorcha go through major metamorphic transformations to become almost immune to specific things that harmed them in the past typically once in their lives, such as changing to breathe different gasses or develop fireproof skin.
  • As a species they don’t even evolve anymore, Vorcha evolution practically happens on an individual level rather than as a species.
  • Vorcha even look like their faces took inspiration from the design of the Green Goblin’s mask in Spiderman (2002)

So we aren’t Space Orcs or Space Goblins. Are the humans in Mass Effect Space Anythings? We are something definitely. Not Elves, those are the Asari. The Volus are Dwarves, the Batarians are Hobgoblins, and even the position of Gnomes are taken by the Salarians. What are Humans?

While we don’t serve as a fit for any fantasy race biologically, the humans in Mass Effect are quite similar to kobolds. You heard me right, Humans are Space Kobolds.

  • We tend to be so xenophobic that we form entire factions around our xenophobia.
  • We can be very aggressive, especially when faced with those we are xenophobic towards.
  • We are one of the most industrious of all the races in Mass Effect, having colonies specifically designed to benefit one industry.
  • We have a superiority complex, often based on the worship of a deity that we perceive to be made in the image of.
  • We tend to have a unified hatred of those we compete for resources with.
  • We have a habit of scrambling for resources even if we don’t need them.
  • Our society tends to be ruled by elders regardless of actual leadership potential.
  • Probably the closest similarity between kobolds and humans is that outside a few stragglers we love our law, being able to say we have control over others regardless of whether or not it’s true.

So in conclusion, the Humans of the Mass Effect Universe are Space Kobolds. Ambassador Udina stands as probably the most Kobold-like of us, but there you have it.

~ Historian Vale


It may be safe to say that college students are the masters of multitasking. This is definitely true for Brittne Jackson. This 21 year old is not only a full time college student but also a figure competitor, Certified Personal Trainer and Herbalife Health and Wellness Coach. Brittne, known by her IG name @brittnebabe has been a natural born athlete since middle school participating in sports such as cross country and track and field. But in 2013 she decided she wanted to help others achieve the results she had obtained throughout her fitness journey. Check out her fitness instagram @brittnebabefitness for some daily killer workouts for in and out of the gym! #PretyyGirlsSweat #PGS #fitspiration #sweatspiration #sweatsisterhood #BrittneBabe #TEAMBrittneBabe | Written by: PGS Temple University Ambassador Zamara, 20 (@zamara_alysha)


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“The Lady”

So I’m thinking the basic story surrounding Spike the Ambassador is that he arrives at Celestia’s court where everyone’s so used to being sneaky and conniving and backstabbing that his carefree, open and honest attitude catches everyone completely off-guard. His quick wit and genuine chivalry confuses and warms quite a few hearts around him and reminds some people of their humanity. One cold lady especially…but it will take a lot to thaw her heart.

Implying I’m going anywhere with this lol
P.s.: Names for this alternate universe are welcome. “Ambassador-verse” sounds kinda clunky.

Chrono Ambassador (Prologue)

Chrono Ambassador: Part 0
story by ShaunWrites / art by Judyta

Doug used his open car hood as shade to stay out of the hot afternoon sun. He stared inside at his busted engine and wondered how long it’d be before he’d look pitiful enough that somebody in the supermarket parking lot would help him fix his car. He didn’t own a cell phone because even if he did, who would he call?

He was about as alone as that girl he’d been watching wander through the parking lot for the last hour. She’d check random car’s tire pressure. Or inspect the wiper blades. Or clean the mirrors of all the cars in a row. It was bizarre.

She didn’t seem like a threat though. She just seemed like a child. And since everybody else he’d asked to help pretended like he wasn’t there, she was worth a try.

“Excuse me, ma'am,” Doug called out from three rows away as he wiped the sweat from his forehead with his sleeve, “do you know anything about cars?”

“I’m a mechanic!” She bounded over.

How convenient? he thought. He gave her a once-over to see if she had any weapons. That’s when he saw her diamond necklace. It looked real.

“Do you have tools?” She pushed him out of the way and sized-up the engine.

“I got a ratchet set in the trunk. Never opened it before.” He popped the trunk, unwrapped the plastic, and handed it to her. “Will this do?" She was already face deep under the hood by the time he asked.

"These things aren’t too complicated anyway. Anything that can’t move faster than the speed of light, is usually about a ten minute job.” She examined the ratchets and bolts thoughtfully. She chose one of each and dove back in. 

“I’m not from here,” she said face deep in the car’s guts. “Don’t worry, though. I’m not an alien.” She popped out from under the hood like a boogie man. “Oooooo take me to your leader, and all that, haha, no. It’s my first time being on Earth and in this parking lot though. It’s very nice here.”

“You’re an alien?”

“Saying I’m an alien in your traditional sense is like me calling you a book. Books are full of information. They’re affected by gravity and universal forces. They exist in time. Are you a book?”


“Then I’m not an alien, silly! I’m more of an idea temporarily manifested into a physical body that I willed into existence.” She pulled out another ratchet and started banging and tinkering. “And since I piqued your interest, I bet you want to know how I can work on engines that can go faster that the speed of light, I bet?”

“Well, that’s not the first question –”

“So a light year is the distance light can travel over the course of one year, right?” She grabbed the box and searched for the right tool. "So you’ve got two parts: you’ve got distance and you’ve got time. Are you with me so far?“

"No. I –”

Normally, the only way you can get further away from something is “over a period of time,” right? That’s how you do it on this planet.” She laid on the ground and slid under the car. “So here’s the trick, you build an engine that uses time as fuel!”

Her voice was muffled from under the car. 

“You can actually harvest time, and it’s a renewable resource too – like solar energy – since it’s cyclical. I don’t really know all the science behind it. I’m just the mechanic, hehe. But the simple way to explain it is that you fuel an engine up with about 10,000 years and it spits out as many miles as you want.”

She slid out from under the car, and motioned for a rag to wipe her face.

“But this is probably super super complicated for someone like you who isn’t familiar with the pliability of time.” She took the old shirt he handed her. “My people exist between time not in it, so I guess I can understand this a lot easier.”

“Between time?”

“Imagine that feeling you have when you’re so tired you fall asleep on the couch by mistake. Then, when you just wake up the next day, the first thing you remember is the last thing you were thinking of right before you fell asleep.” She motioned for him to get her some water. “Well existing in between time is like living in the moment after you fell asleep until right before you wake up.”

“That’s like a weird way of putting it.” He pulled a bottle of water from his trunk. “Sorry, the water’s pretty hot.”

She jumped up and grabbed it. She spoke between gulps. “I specialize in ‘weird ways of putting it!’ I’m a University-trained Chrono-Ambassador. But I’ve never gotten an actual job doing it yet. We learned about other planet’s cultures. There’s a whole year of learning how to analogize your experiences with the experiences of other cultures. See there I go already talking about 'years’. Of course we don’t use a calendar based on the rotation of your planet around the sun. Even though years a totally ludicrous way of measuring time, no offence, I use years just because it would be difficult to analogize anything in your experience to keeping time in negative subspace. Except for maybe that feeling you get when it’s daylight savings time and you set your clocks back one hour, but you forget to change your alarm. Then when you wake up and you freak out because you think you’re late for work, but you actually not late because you still have an hour left to sleep." 

She finished her water and handed back the bottle.

"Now imagine if that morning freakout happened with the same crystal clarity and surprise every millisecond of every day you live. It’s always a surprise what time it is.”

“Must be unpleasant.”  

“No! It’s exhilarating.” She launched herself back under the hood.

“So yeah, I know all about the cultures of 1000’s of inhabited planets. But I got stuck working as a mechanic, boo! I’m really a people person though so don’t make my job fool you. Engines can’t keep you company – at least the non-sentient ones can’t.  But you know, I like engines, too. Vroom vroom, you know? I say 'vroom vroom’ because I know your combustion engines here make that sound. Our time engines are whisper quiet so the phrase is completely meaningless to a person from my culture who didn’t have my training. Isn’t that fun that two cultures can have so much in common and so little in common at the same time? 'At the same time’ is also another one of those meaningless phrases because anyone who lives between time knows that every event that has happened or could ever happen has all already happened at the same time.”

She motioned for him to try to start the car. He got in and turned the key. The engine didn’t turn, so she went back to work.

“Being able to access any possible universe makes it weird when you know your boyfriend is related to you in another universe, you know?”

“Where’s your boyfriend right now?”

“No, I don’t have a boyfriend, sorry if you thought I was lying to you. I just assumed it would be easier to illustrate the concept to you that way rather than burden you with the existential anguish my people feel at the idea of having 100’s of trillions of potential life timelines and never knowing which one is the most accurate and self-actualizing for you to settle your restless soul in." She motioned for him to try turning the engine on again. "It’s a bit like going to college and being so excited with taking classes you decide to keep changing majors over and over again.”

“No, I think what you’re saying sounds a lot worse than that,” Doug said from the passenger seat about to turn the key.

“Oh no, you don’t like that one? Okay, I guess it would be more like the feeling you get when you graduate from college and move to a new town, but instead of keeping all the friends you left behind, you have to kill them all with your bare hands before you leave. And that happens everytime you move from any town.”

The engine sputtered to a start.

“Yay!” She screamed.

“Alright, thanks!” He stared out at her celebrating through his wind-shield. “So, do I owe you anything?”


She stood there in front of his car loitering. And there was a car behind him, so he couldn’t back out. What was she waiting for? They made eye contact.


Did she need a ride or something? he thought.

“Um… what are you –”

“Sure I’ll come along with you! Where are you going?”

“My grandmother’s house. We eat lunch together on Wednesdays. She lives over by Disney." 

He opened the passenger side door. She jumped in and slammed it behind her.

"You looked kinda lost. Do you want me to drive you around to your car?”

“I don’t have a car.”

“Of course you don’t.”

“What do you mean?" She cleaned his rear view mirror with the old shirt she’d used to mop up her sweat. "Did I say something wrong?”

“No, no, you’re fine.”

“Thank you. I always get nervous when I meet someone new. People say I talk too much, but I think those people just don’t like to listen to people, you know?”

“Everyone’s different.”

“You can get so much from just meeting new people, and being open to things and experiences. That’s why I love the idea of working as a Chrono-Ambassador one day. You meet wonderful new people every day. That’s the job, just living, and meeting, and sharing your world.”

“I’ll drive you back to your house.”

“No, thank you. I’ll just discorporate for the day whenever you get to where you’re going.”

Have it your way then, he thought. He pulled out of the parking lot. Then, there was an odd silence. Awkward, no talking at all for maybe 5 minutes. It’s like she ran out of things to say once she finished fixing the car. Small talk wasn’t a problem for him though.

“You’re a pretty good mechanic.”  He stopped at the red light and turned right onto the main road. She didn’t respond, so he changed the subject. He saw her diamond necklace shining in the light. “That’s a beautiful necklace you got there." 

"It’s what Chrono-Ambassadors get to wear when they visit Earth! I got this at graduation from a friend who told me I –”

“I thought you weren’t a Chrono-Ambassador.”

“I’m not.” She shrunk in her seat.

“One thing I can’t understand is, if you can control time and infinite universes, how did you end up being a mechanic instead of doing what you want to do?”

“People don’t really like me.”

“I can’t imagine why.” He could imagine why.

“People say that sometimes I seem like I’m trying to impress people with all the things I know and I’m a showoff, but I’m really not. I’m just really always excited about how amazing everything is and I think people may be suspicious of enthusiasm sometimes, you know?”

“Maybe they’re just jealous of you.”

“No, it’s hard to explain. In my culture, we have this concept where if a person has a lot of friends, it’s more likely someone will recommend that person for a job they really want, even if that person isn’t as good at that job as I’d be –”

“We have something similar here.”

“Isn’t that just awful? And there’s this thing that if people think you’re too much of a know-it-all, they won’t want to hang out with you after work and they’ll talk about you behind your back so you can’t really make friends even though you want to. It’s like –”

“Yeah, we have that too.”

“That’s why I’m a mechanic! People need me no matter what. And even if they don’t want me around, I gotta be there anyway, you know? And then I can fix their stuff and they can see how helpful I am. And then if I get to know that person, and they get to know me, there’s a chance that we can make a real breakthrough – breakthrough in terms of lunches, and happy hours, and surprise parties and things that friends do together that make each other feel less lonely. I think it would be fun to have friends." She leaned over to him, inches away from his face. "What do you think about that?”

More Chrono Ambassador:

More Stories

Twitter@SASpalding / @ShaunWrites

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Uh Oh: ISIS steals 88 pounds of uranium from Mosul University

They’ve already got their hands on sarin gas.  Now ISIS has got their hands on Uranium as well.

from Reuters:

Insurgents in Iraq have seized nuclear materials used for scientific research at a university in the country’s north, Iraq told the United Nations in a letter appealing for help to “stave off the threat of their use by terrorists in Iraq or abroad.”

Nearly 40 kilograms (88 pounds) of uranium compounds were kept at Mosul University, Iraq’s U.N. Ambassador Mohamed Ali Alhakim told U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon in the July 8 letter obtained by Reuters on Wednesday.

“Terrorist groups have seized control of nuclear material at the sites that came out of the control of the state,” Alhakim wrote, adding that such materials “can be used in manufacturing weapons of mass destruction.”

“These nuclear materials, despite the limited amounts mentioned, can enable terrorist groups, with the availability of the required expertise, to use it separate or in combination with other materials in its terrorist acts,” said Alhakim.

He warned that they could also be smuggled out of Iraq.

read the rest

US officials are downplaying this, saying it would “difficult” to develop a weapon with the materials.  Somehow I don’t feel very comforted. 

British actress Emma Watson is the new Goodwill Ambassador for the U.N.’s gender-equality arm, U.N. Women, the organization announced Monday.

The Harry Potter alumna and recent graduate of Brown University is the first ambassador appointed under the leadership of Phumzile Mlambo-Ngcuka, the Under Secretary-General and executive director of U.N. Women.

“Women’s rights are something so inextricably linked with who I am, so deeply personal and rooted in my life that I can’t imagine an opportunity more exciting,” Watson, who will work on the organization’s women’s-empowerment campaign, HeForShe, said in a statement.

Mlambo-Ngcuka said Watson’s “intellect and passion” as well as her experience promoting girls’ education in countries such as Bangladesh and Zambia will help the organization spread its messages around the world.

“I still have so much to learn, but as I progress I hope to bring more of my individual knowledge, experience and awareness to this role,” Watson said.

Hello healthy people!! 

How are you all doing? I have been busier than I have ever been in my life, but I realised today that this crazy routine will be part of my life for the next decades, is just how it is… If I want to make my dreams reality I have to work hard. Simple! So I have a lot of stuff going right now in my life, mostly good things. I am very involved in my life at university, I have two ambassador jobs, I will hopefully get another one in January… I’m a course rep., I have two presentations to deliver next month, a job interview, and two essays to submit in January. I’m very hands on in everything that I do, and I cannot really complain about anything since it’s going the way I’ve planned or even better… 

The thing is that I’ve received a really bad new today. My grandfather died. He was in a nursing home care, and my grandmother and my aunt used to go there everyday to make sure he was doing ok, and to feed him. Looking that way, I might say that it was a release, because he wasn’t happy there… On the other hand, he was the love of my grandmother’s life, every time she talked about him you could see the sparkle in her eyes, and they had a very dramatic love story. The down side of the story is that he used to be an alcoholic and used to beat my grandmother and their children every time he was drunk… I didn’t have a strong relationship with him, but I have memories of him, watching football games and smoking cigarettes in the kitchen.. and I would give him a kiss in his cheek everytime I went to their house. My mother had anger towards him, for the reason mentioned above, but she forgave him before his decease. 

It just hurts me that I can’t be there with my family in the funeral or to hug them, to say that everything is going to be alright… I am far away, in another country and the plane tickets are expensive. But has my mother would say… “this was your choice”. So I must wipe the tears on my face, and keep going.