universe rules

on loving the human

i. they will not appreciate all your gifts, will akin them to a cat bringing dead mice to their feet. this is fine. everything else you give, they will find gorgeous. if you are vain enough, give them something of yours to wear. if you are rash enough, give them something of yours to wear. they will find it beautiful and every Other will know you’ve claimed that one. be sure no one else, such as Not-Cat or even the crows, have done the same yet. a human, no matter their talents, would be worth such a war. you must remember this, if you see them keeping feathers-blacker-than-night in their hair/pockets/pouches. you might be able to fool them from another Fair, but, if the birds have gotten to them, there is no return. best to pick another that can catch your attention. any of them would start pleased with that.

ii. to appear human while first wooing them is best. you will need two ears, two eyes, a nose with (only!) two nostrils, 32 teeth, 206 bones, and about 640 muscles that do not slide or slip or slush. both halves of your (singular) face must react together, but not mechanically, robotically, stiffly, or in any manner similar to plastic or silicon. one side of your mouth must not be higher or lower than the other unless it is a facial expression, of a half-smile or frown. your eyes must not be too close together, or too far apart, your ears must be even, the spacing of your nose-to-eyes-to-ears-to-forehead must all be within a certain ratio. if you must, watch a good artist space faces to see the estimate. but you must not be too perfect, either: your teeth not too straight or too white, your nails not too clean or pristinely cut or without variation, your skin not too blemish-free. you need some faults in order to appear human. you must maintain solid form at all times. still, it’s likely they’ll know, regardless. at least, they’ll probably appreciate the effort. (remember, being seen without protection is even more telling. keep sugar and pewter/tin/aluminum with you at all times; these will look enough like salt and iron. it is also advisable you carry ‘offerings,’ even if you never leave them anywhere. creamer cups are most popular.)

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100 “Epic” Adventure Ideas...

Here are one hundred adventure seeds you can use to generate ideas for your adventures and campaigns.

  1. A ancient and evil balor sorcerer imprisons old friends of the player characters, holding them hostage in return for a service. 
  2. A band of several death slaadi rogues and sorcerers begins to waylay all planar travelers who chance through their recently claimed turf on the Astral Plane.
  3. A ranger hero recognized around the world begins to organize a group of explorers for reasons unknown…
  4. A bardic college develops a style of music that charms and dominates any that listen to it too long.
  5. A beholder cluster, made up of many beholders driven mad, begins to war with lesser beholder communities, apparently all seeking a beholder artifact. 
  6. A prominent deity grows sick and will die if the cause of its divine ill is not discovered. 
  7. A beloved prophecy long accepted as true fails to occur because of the characters’ meddling, and the world turns against them…
  8. A blinding, yellow haze seeps down from the sky, covering the world…
  9. A celestial tree hundreds of miles long reaches its roots down and begins to grow on the world’s surface. Creatures from other worlds live in the heights of the tree. 
  10. A child is born who prophecy indicates will one day ascend to godhood. 
  11. A black disease blights the forest, killing all vegetation as it continues to expand without limit at an ever-accelerating rate. 
  12. A clan of psionic militants breaks away from the kingdom — literally. A huge chunk of land hundreds of acres wide floats up and away (taking with it many terrified non-psionic people). 
  13. A conjunction of parallel planes somehow energizes a lowly peasant to the power of a greater deity — but only until the conjunction ends. 
  14. A cross-time catastrophe has cut off the Material Plane from all others. 
  15. A dragon kills the ruler of the largest nation and takes over, calling itself the Dragon King.
  16. A flaw in a true resurrection spell leaves one player character undead by night and alive by day. 
  17. A floating city arrives from across the sea, apparently fleeing the depredations of the Warlord, a barbarian of an epic caliber.
  18. A flock of angelic avengers and celestials is ravaging across the continent. 
  19. A meeting is called by a storm giant blackguard. Powerful giants from around the world (and other worlds) begin to congregate. Though no one knows the meaning of this calling…
  20. A glorious gemstone in which the first light of creation still lingers is purportedly languishing in an ancient, crumbling demi-plane. 
  21. A great chase ensues through endless parallel dimensions as wizard researchers follow the faint trail of the long-vanished elder elves. 
  22. A group of gargoyle paragons claims the Cathedral of Pelor as its own new home. 
  23. A hero of renown (a quasi-deity, really) is to be wed to an elven prince, but the prince’s royal family claims the prince is under a spell. 
  24. A hole is gouged in the veil separating life and death. As the tide of life pours out into the void, all creatures everywhere begin to die as they accumulate negative levels. The hole must be mended. 
  25. A red dragon and two of its siblings emerge from a red-lit cavern in the earth. 
  26. A lesser deity declares the PCs as its mortal enemies, enjoining all its worshipers and allies to find and slay them. 
  27. A longstanding illusion is pierced, revealing that the king is nowhere to be found, and that all dictates of the kingdom have been actually flowing from the thieves’ guild. 
  28. A new deity decides to leave the Outer Planes to set up its palace on the face of the Material Plane. Once it arrives, it demands worshipers and servitors. 
  29. A mad chronomancer with a mastery of time, has determined how to destroy the past (and therefore the present). Unless it can be stopped, time itself will unravel. 
  30. A planar conjunction will soon come to pass, allowing the legions of hell (or worse) direct access to a selected part of the Material Plane for 24 hours. It can’t be stopped, but some famous characters may attempt to defend key cities or strongholds from the onslaught. 
  31. A player character’s heart is stolen and replaced with a magical gem or a strange alchemical creation. Who knows how long the replacement will last? 
  32. A powerful wizards’ guild enters all-out war with the dominant religious order of the world. 
  33. A quasi-deity wants an escort as it ventures into the Abyss to release a companion quasi-deity from bondage. 
  34. A rogue moon threatens to crash down upon the world, ending all life. 
  35. A sentient spell-virus is raging out of control among spellcasters. All who fall victim to it become part of one unified mind controlled by a malign intelligence. 
  36. A species of “fish” introduced from another plane has provided good eating and relief from famine over the last year. Now, thousands (possibly millions?) of the fish-like creatures begin a sudden growth spurt, transforming en masse into terribly powerful and bloodthirsty predators. 
  37. A splinter community of humans evolves into a sub-race sporting strange and variant powers. 
  38. A syndicate of assassins dramatically expands its membership by introducing a mind-control potion into a city’s water supply. 
  39. A team of nightmares draws a chariot driven by a powerful fighter into the city. 
  40. A titan seeks those brave enough to release it from its age-long bondage; its rescuers may face the wrath of higher deities. 
  41. A vampire scion from another plane begins to conquer world after world with the help of a reforged artifact of legend, Midnight’s Heart
  42. A volcano erupts. In the aftermath, a portal to the City of Brass on the Elemental Plane of Fire remains open permanently.
  43. A well-known wizards’ guild’s magical dumping ground of failed experiments and stale spell components becomes sentient.
  44. A wizard attempting to summon a powerful devil slips up and somehow summons an abomination instead: an infernal lord of the hells. 
  45. A wizard claims to have developed an epic spell ritual that, if cast, will slay a deity.
  46. All magic items crafted from a particular city begin to bestow negative effects on their owners with each use. 
  47. All who fall asleep on a selected world cannot be awakened and eventually die in their sleep. Exhaustion is beginning to take a hold on even the greatest heroes of its realm…
  48. An adventuring party stumbles upon the tomb prison of an long dead half-god and releases it. 
  49. An anti-magic plague is released by an unknown agency, causing sickness and eventually death to any who prepare or cast arcane spells. 
  50. An artifact belonging to one of the characters must be destroyed, lest some great catastrophe, which has secretly been gathering, come to pass. 
  51. An artifact capable of forever dominating all red dragons everywhere is discovered.
  52. An enclave of gnomes customizes an iron colossus into a walking war platform.
  53. A group of NPCs known for good deeds suddenly embarks on a death spree, murdering merchants and their envoys…
  54. A group of NPCs decides to destroy the PC adventurers, for reasons that are initially obscure. 
  55. A sentient, free roaming, self-casting disintegrate spell breaks loose from a wizard’s laboratory. 
  56. A legendary paladin leads a crusade to hell. 
  57. An inter-dimensional caravan must float on the River Styx through the dangers of several lower planes. 
  58. Spirits begin to manifest from machines as complicated as simple steam-powered wheels — is it a warning from the gods of the forge to desist? 
  59. Angry druids raise the beasts, animals, and dire animals of the wild, intent on beginning a new world order in which nature comes first. 
  60. As the world ages, frequent earthquakes threaten to plunge the major nations under the sea. 
  61. Blue-skinned merchants begin to sell enormously popular items composed of dreamstuff — “mined from the very dreams of a deity,” claim the merchants.
  62. Deeper than the Underdark, the world is discovered to be hollow. Hanging in that vast opening is an unknown, uncharted inner world of strangeness.
  63. Dwarf miners follow a vein of adamantine to a hinged valve sealed with divine magic of an age older than any of the current deities. 
  64. A group of seemingly amateur rogues steal the magical scepter of the Dragon King. 
  65. Evil opportunists slay the Guardian of the Flame of Destiny, hoping to remold the Law of Reality to their own liking. 
  66. Ghosts of every sort begin to rise again, and they won’t recognize their own undead state. 
  67. Mind flayers successfully gain control of a surface nation, plunging the region into permanent darkness. 
  68. Jade pyramids of prodigious size rise from the earth. Sounds unlike any heard before echo faintly from within their stony cores. 
  69. Construct-like creatures of insane complexity called “machines” move across the land, preparing the way for a larger invasion of automated entities. 
  70. Magic begins to fail, supposedly because it is being “used up” faster than it naturally regenerates. 
  71. Mercenary half-dragons who ride chromatic dragons as steeds sell their swords (and spells) to an evil empire. 
  72. Newborns begin to be born without souls.
  73. Off-plane raiders begin to steal people away for use as slaves and food. 
  74. Once every ten years a small cave provides access into a magical, underground world where all living beings give off colorful light, ruled by mysterious fey lords with mysterious agendas. 
  75. One of the player characters learns about his or her real mother or father — in fact, that parent was a demon, and that demon has come calling. 
  76. Planetars and solars bring heaven’s war to the Material Plane, slaying any and all they deem evil or immoral. 
  77. Chromatic dragons decide that their “species” is the only true draconic race, and they begin a campaign of genocide against all other dragon types. 
  78. Several well-known cities and all their inhabitants suddenly disappear without a trace. More could follow…
  79. Someone is breaking the Seven Seals that maintain the integrity of the multiverse…
  80. The ancient Great Library has secret vaults where the Words Once Spoken are supposedly inscribed in the Book of Sleep. To speak them again would remake the universe. 
  81. The Clock that Rules the Universe is under attack by insane gnome alchemists, who are raiding it for parts. 
  82. The End Times threaten to begin. 
  83. The gods of Law put all humanoid races on trial for their excesses.
  84. The Lord High Priest of Pelor denounces her deity and faith. 
  85. The most feared and reviled weapon of legend, an artifact sword that drains life energy with a touch, is lost by its owner. 
  86. The Mother of Spiders emerges from her Cocoon of a Million Years to find a mate for her next spawning. 
  87. A vast necropolis undergoes a mystical transformation. Now, each coffin, sarcophagus, and mausoleum leads to separate cemetery dimensions and realms of death. 
  88. The PCs’ stronghold mysteriously gains new extra-dimensional halls and rooms of unknown origin, content, and extent.
  89. The populace decides that they want one of the PCs as their new ruler, which doesn’t please the current ruler. 
  90. The secret texts of a prominent religion, recently discovered, call into question the church’s real goal, its actual origin, and the agenda of its god. 
  91. The souls of a good queen and her family are drawn into the Abyss by an unknown demonic agency. 
  92. The spirits of the dead begin to possess the bodies of the living at an ever-accelerating rate. 
  93. The sun is infested with moon-sized parasites, and may soon fail like so many other stars have fallen to this celestial infestation. 
  94. The winter, which was overly cold, lasts too long — the goddess of winter, Auril, is suspected to be the cause…
  95. The woods begin to grow without bound, invading field, plain, and city. 
  96. The yuan-ti attempt to awaken the Slumbering Serpent, a little-known abomination born of their own race and a god of serpents.
  97. Twenty percent of all astral travelers begin to disappear in mid-trip. Mid-travel diversion spells are suspected. 
  98. Two parallel planes move too close to each other, and denizens and objects of one constantly slip onto the other, and vice versa. 
  99. Unless stopped, an ancient demi-lich will inject itself onto the Negative Energy Plane, where it can possess any undead anywhere in the multiverse. 
  100. When a friend or a respected associate is resurrected, the soul returned to the body has different memories from the original. Whence does this soul come? 

anonymous asked:

Could you elaborate on those D&D settings? Maybe two or three sentences describing each? I always thought D&D was just set in Generic Fantasy Land #357

(With reference to this post here.)

Yeah, a lot of people have the wrong idea about that. Dungeons & Dragons is a set of rules for running a particular kind of game, with a number of published settings associated with it, few of which resemble the generic Tolkien pastiche most folks picture when they see that it’s got elves and hobbits in it.

In the same order as the previous post:

Planescape is set in an industrialised quasi-Victorian city constructed around the inner rim of a giant ring hovering atop an infinitely tall spire at the centre of the universe. The streets are ruled by warring gangs of philosophers who can literally argue you to death. Playable races include anarchist goat-centaurs and sapient geometric shapes.

Dragonlance is basically medieval fantasy meets World War II, wracked by constant open war between the forces of Light and Darkness. Knights ride dragons into battle while sinister dragon-men prowl the countryside (there are a lot of different kinds of dragons). Playable races include steampunk gnomes and musical minotaurs.

(If that last bit sounds familiar, it’s because most of what World of Warcraft didn’t borrow from Warhammer, it lifted from Dragonlance).

Ravenloft is pretty much as described in the previous post: it’s a prison dimension for the multiverse’s worst baddies, which has evolved into a confederation of dystopian city-states ruled by thinly disguised expies of various Hammer horror villains, like Dracula and the Wolfman. And also an evil version of Pinocchio, because why the hell not?

Spelljammer is D&D in space, where enchanted galleons sail the luminiferous aether in search of fortune and adventure. If you’ve seen Treasure Planet, you’ve got the right basic idea, though Spelljammer predates Treasure Planet by some decades. Standout features include mercenary hippo-men and gnomes whose ships are powered by giant hamsters running on wheels.

The Forgotten Realms is probably the closest to what folks are picturing when they think of “generic fantasy land”, though they’re a couple of decades off with respect to its inspirations - it’s much more 1980s romantic fantasy than 1960s epic fantasy. Talking housecats, cosmopolitan cities with suspiciously modern amenities, enlightened matriarchies ruled by beautiful sorcerer-queens - you know the drill if you’ve read your Lackey.

Dark Sun is a post-apocalyptic milieu set in the wake of a global environmental collapse brought about by irresponsible use of magic. “Mad Max with wizards” would be a glib but not-wholly-inaccurate description. Playable races include savage cannibal hobbits and giant psychic praying mantises.

Birthright assumes that the player characters are members of ancient ruling houses empowered by the blood of slain gods. Beyond that, it’s almost entirely generic - its whole shtick is that you get to rule a domain right from first level, rather than having to work your way up to it.

Red Steel is an Age of Sail swashbuckling game set on the Savage Coast, a region tainted by magical fallout that grants wondrous powers, but also induces progressively more hideous mutations. The economy is based on the eponymous red steel, a rare metal that grants resistance to the mutations without suppressing the accompanying powers. I wasn’t kidding when I said The Three Musketeers meets the X-Men.

Eberron is a “magipunk” setting that envisions a high fantasy world in the process of undergoing an industrial revolution. Trains powered by bound lightning elementals crisscross the land, and one of the major tensions involves the integration into society of a race of mechanical soldiers constructed from enchanted wood to fight in a recently ended war.

Greyhawk is tough to pin down, as it’s basically the collected campaign notes of one of the game’s original designers. It covers a lot of ground, but the focal point, the eponymous city of Greyhawk, is a straight up sword-and-sorcery pastiche. In terms of inspirations, think Robert Howard, Fritz Leiber and Michael Moorcock. Sinister cults, baroque cities ruled by degenerate nobles, and player characters who are as likely to be planning urban heists as delving dungeons.

I think it’s so funny that people legitimately believe that somehow their liberal arts university or art school represents the core of what it means to be lgbt, to be queer, and that they legitimately give a decent window into the needs psyche & beliefs of ~the community~ as a whole.

Like, you need to acknowledge that you’re predominately surrounded by other white middle class twenty somethings, and that these isolated pockets, so often cut off from most of our reality, reaaalllyyyy is a poor representation of queer existence as a whole.

you’re not supposed to fall in love with your roommate.

it’s not just an Elsewhere University rule, one of the many you pick up during your first few months there; it’s an every-university rule.

but she is so pretty, and you are so weak when it comes to pretty girls.

at first, it is the way the sunlight shimmers on her feather-dark hair. the way her eyes sparkle, just a little bit too much like mica. the way she moves, like a shadow sliding over bricks.

but then it is the rattle when she laughs, like her chest is hollow. it is her endless fascination for anything human. it is the way she twists her neck to smile at you when you walk into the room. it is her dedication to finishing every homework assignment, even though someone like her doesn’t have to do any homework assignments, or go to class at all.

you’re not supposed to fall in love with someone who never sleeps.

but you’ve never been good at keeping to the rules– your religion is a time-worn mixture of judaism, agnosticism, and the bits and bobs of whatever your favorite grandmother is (she never quite tells you), and you’re still not sure what your gender is (or your sexuality). old rules, unflexible, unaccepting, feel like brittle prison bars.

besides, at elsewhere u, the normal rules seem a little more fluid. changeable. as long as you keep to the traditions of the school, everything else can slide by, just a bit.

you help her keep up with the homework and decipher a few of the more colloquial phrases that your american history professor likes to use. she helps you stay unnoticed on the campus. when you walk next to her, the shadows accept you as one of them.

you ask permission before you hold her hand. you ask permission to grab her dinner when you’re getting yours. you ask permission to look at her when she’s not looking at you. she tells you yes, again and again, and again. the fae cannot lie.

your best friend, aeryn, has always been fascinated by the fae. she tells you not to trust your pretty roommate. she tells you that their rules are too complicated to understand. but your roommate, but she is like you; she was not made for rules. you begin to think that perhaps she and aeryn have a lot in common; aeryn came to elsewhere u for the fae. your roommate came for the humans.

so she tells you yes, when you ask her things; and then she starts to make requests of her own. she asks if she can hear about your childhood. she asks how much you know about other cultures. she asks if you really like her, no, like-like her, she thinks she heard the term from one of the human kids in her biology class.

you blush. you tell her yes, again and again and again.

you’re not supposed to date one of the fae. that IS an elsewhere university rule, but one that’s so obvious that nobody would ever even think to tell you.

you don’t think much of the rules, the two of you; sometimes you walk through Elsewhere with her to get to class faster, and sometimes she uses your laptop (with you as a conduit) to explore the internet. you get rid of the iron and salt, you have; except a few nails near the door (even if your roommate is fae, that doesn’t stop anyone else from trying to take your stuff).

she steals your sweatshirts. you take some of the pebbles on her bedside table to play with when you can’t pay attention during class. she teases you with extremely stretched truths, which is the best she can do about the lying rule. you buy her increasingly outrageous types of soda on amazon.

she lets her glamour drop, junior year. it is an accident. you come into the room you share, and find her studying, seven feet tall, with antlers and spindly fingers. her shimmery eyes look scared when you approach. you smile, and tell her the truth– you still like her without the glamour. how could you not, when she tells the worst puns on campus and keeps you up until 3am watching vine compilations?

you didn’t know that your first kiss would involve three rows of teeth.

you are not supposed to take the fae with you when you graduate.

but would any of the staff dare to complain if one of the students leaving campus on graduation day happens to have a suitcase full of seaglass and feathers for eyebrows?

and if the neighbors think you and your wife are a little odd, they’d probably be justified. but it’s quite okay with you, you think as you fall asleep with a phantom tail wrapped tightly around your leg. after all, nobody else in town has as much fun just looking at memes. nobody else’s s.o. can make the fire in the fireplace turn blue just by winking at it.

you’re not supposed to fall in love with your roommate. but you do it anyway, and so does she.

Aries risings long for something lively and peaceful (Libra ruling the 7th), so it can be frustrating for them when they come on more strongly than they mean to.

Taurus risings long for something intimate and deep (Scorpio ruling the 7th), so it can be frustrating for them when they act more materialistic than they are. 

Gemini risings long for meaningful relationships and philosophical conversations (Sagittarius ruling the 7th), so it can be frustrating for them when they appear shallow and small minded. 

Cancer risings long to be protected (Capricorn ruling the 7th), so it can be frustrating for them when they always seem to be the one people come to for help.

Leo risings long to look at the bigger picture (like universal consciousness) (Aquarius ruling the 7th), so it can be frustrating for them when everything always seems to circle back to themselves. 

Virgo risings long to let go (Pisces ruling the 7th), so it can be frustrating for them when they’re always uptight.

Libra risings long for something thrilling (Aries ruling the 7th), so it can be frustrating for them when they always seem mellow and not interested.

Scorpio risings long to find something that can’t be destroyed (Taurus ruling the 7th), so it can be frustrating for them when they always seem to sabotage their relationships.

Sagittarius risings long to understand everything (Gemini ruling the 7th), so it can be frustrating for them can’t shift their mindset or focus on the details.

Capricorn risings long to be nurtured (Cancer ruling the 7th), so it can be frustrating for them when they don’t let anyone in.  

Aquarius risings long to be adored (Leo ruling the 7th), so it can be frustrating for them when they always appear aloof and focus on others. 

Pisces risings long to be more grounded (Virgo ruling the 7th), so it can be frustrating for them when they can’t focus on reality.

re: clone shiro

can i just say i have no idea how the galra have managed to rule the universe for 10k years because they are bloody mORONS ok so they make a clone shiro and just let him float in space to potentially die on the off chance he’ll find voltron??? like??? they couldn’t even give my guy a boost??? let him steal a ship with a lil extra vavavoom in it??? couldn’t even point him in the right direction??? no they just let him steal one with only 7 days fuel in it and just sit back like “ok cool, so lets hope he finds them!!” what…if he died…what would they have done…made another clone and tried again dkufhf god…haggar…babe, you’re smarter than this…….