hi.. I’m not neurotypical, but i’m very afraid of being ableist (especially to other neurodivergents), especially because being unintentionally ableist has already ruined a very important friendship of mine. Do you have any advice about how to avoid being unintentionally ableist?
well ur asking the wrong person but it really depends what you said?
if you just used a word like “stupid/crazy” then it’s up to the person you’re talking to to make it clear they don’t want the word used around them.
By the way you type you don’t sound like someone who says the r slur or makes jokes in bad taste so just realise that no matter what you do, you’re always going to make some sort of mistake. I could give you all the advice in the world, you could follow it to the word and still say something ableist unintentionally.
I think if anyone is bothered by something you say unintentionally, just say it was unintentional and try to move on. There’s not point telling people what to and what not to find offensive, if you are friends with someone and you care about them and you happen upon this disagreement and you know you only said something minor (e.g. “this headcanon is stupid”) then you’ve got to assess the situation, ask yourself if your conversational partner is worth talking to (for your mental health, assess this on the way they react to the MINOR thing you’ve said e.g. have they pointed out they’re uncomfortable or have they just cut to yelling at you?) and then after that either work it out or decide they aren’t worth the effort.
it’s always good to ask for opinions from ppl you trust too? If you have a friend who’s unbiased and will tell you if you’ve fucked up then ask them, that’s literally all you can really do.