davekat au: dave has a youtube channel where he reviews things. just… things. his most popular video is 17 minutes of him eating an apple in slow-mo, occasionally pausing to describe the precise details of the apple experience. he’s so deadpan that no one can tell if it’s a joke or not. karkat binge-watches his videos in an exhausted, insomniac haze at 3 in the morning, and then sends him an exhaustive 10-page mostly incoherent rant about how his channel is confusing and pointless in all caps. karkat promptly passes out and, the next morning, assumes it was all a strange and elaborate dream, until dave’s next video is a totally deadpan “review” of karkat’s “concerns.” the video gets over 100,000 views and its own meme. it launches dave into internet fame. karkat has never been more infuriated in his life. he rage-messages terezi, who owns a popular shitpost blog, who says OH Y34H 1M MUTU4LS W1TH H1M and then copypastes dave’s url. fast-forward 5 months and they’re dating
When I think of him, I think of warm bed sheets tangled in a maze on our bodies and the taste of cigarettes that lingered on his lips when we kissed. I remember I had a habit of tracing my fingers on the crevices of his body, lingering at certain tattoos and scars that may have defined the history of him. Looking back, I realize I hadn’t asked too many questions. I simply accepted his presence, like welcoming the dark night at the end of the day because it simply was supposed to be that way. I didn’t feel the need to probe and he never made me wonder. For all the mystery of him, he never evoked a curiosity in me. And that made me realize, there are just some people you love for who they are, because changing them would take the beauty of them away, like chipping off pieces of a glass window. You never ruin art.
That first night, I wanted to be different, to be someone else, someone besides that prim girl with a tight chignon and an equally tight impression. I wanted to be free and light and raw. I wore my hair down, like a cascading stream of gold, as if by doing so would loosen me up. But two minutes into that rave, I felt like an outsider, a lost puppy amidst the sea of people whose bodies were so used to alcohol and the smell of smoke. Looking down at that bottle of beer in my hand I contemplated my exit options when I felt someone’s eyes on me. I looked up and there he was, so disheveled and rugged and everything that screamed danger even at a distance. He had those piercing blue eyes and that smirk that made you think of libertines and rakes and Casanovas. He stopped a few inches from me and grasped a few strands of my hair between his fingers leisurely, as if he had all the time in world, and said,
“I met a lady in the meads,
Full beautiful – a faery’s child,
Her hair was long, her foot was light,
And her eyes were wild.”
God, I fell so hard for that boy. His music collection contained of ear splitting music and unintelligible screams, but he had a corner bookstand full of John Keats and Robert Frost. He had a body that spoke of every nuance of strength yet he loved mine with a gentle passion and a fragile hold. I held him tight, afraid that he was going to slip from my fingers. At night I laid in his chest and felt every beat of his heart and every air he expelled. I loved him in fear of losing him. Every minute was tattooed in every tiny space of my young heart. I took all of him and held it in. I guess even then, I knew. A soul like that was never meant to be held for long. He had a gypsy spirit and even my innocent devotion and the gentle gaze of my love couldn’t make him stay.
So I let him go.
As gently as I loved him, I gently let him go. He slipped away in the middle of the night but not before he fluttered a single soft kiss on my forehead. I willed my eyes shut close and when I heard the soft lock of the door I broke down and let the tears fall.
When I think of him, I think of the musky smell of sweat-stained sheets, of ashes of cigarettes on the floor, of a hard body and a soft heart. I think of silent nights with nothing but the whisper of his breath. I think of the boy who loved poetry, who spoke those words in random, during moments when you least expect them. Even now, sometimes I would wake up and as soon as I open my eyes, I would remember the way his brown hair glinted under the morning sun, and how the first thing I would see is that tattoo at the back of his ear. I miss the way my hand would reach out and hold him closer, and how he would stir and hold me tighter.
Most of all, I miss that flutter of a kiss he left when he slipped into the night, leaving only a shadow of his beautiful soul for me to grasp.
I wonder how he is. Sometimes I see him tangled with another girl in different sheets, in a different place. Would he have loved her more? Would he touch her differently? Yet there are times that I would imagine him sitting down with a copy of “Poems 1817” on his lap and maybe he would skim by the page of “La Belle Dame Sans Merci” and think of me…
hey HEEY!wooHhooOOo whOoooOhOOo woooHooOO ooOhHooOO oOoOoooOowhOOO oPen uP your eyes shut your mouth and sEE that i’m still the only one who’s been in loooooove with me i’m just haAaappy getting you stuck in between my teETH and there’s nothing i can do about iiIIiit bROKE a finger knocking on your bedrOOM DOOR i got spliiiinters in my knuckles crawling cross the floor couldn’t take you home to mother in a skirt that shoRT but i think that’s what i like about iiiiiit she’s an angel whOOoHooo only angel whOOoohoOO she’s an angel whOOoOhOOOo my only angeLllLl oOoOOwoOooUU i must admit i thouGHT i’d like to make you MIiINE as i went about my business through the warNiNG signs end up meeTING in the hallWAY every single tIME and there’s nothing we can do about iiIIiit TOLD! it to her brother and she told it to mE that she’s gonna be an angel just you wait and seee when it turns out she’s a devil in betwEEEEEN the sheets and there’s nothing she can do about it HEY! HEEEYY!! she’s an angel whOOoOhOOOO only angel whOoOHooOOO she’s an angel WHOooOOHOOO my only angEeLLL wooOoOOouu shE’S an angel whOoOOHOOO only angel whOOOHoOo sHE’s an angel whOOoOhOOO my only angeelLLLL whooOoOoOhOOo wwaaaHHHhH oooWWW yEea whoOOye ay a lalakjsghhsye ana o na yea nsjsunintelligible moaning and screaming into the microphone that sounds like wnANan Ana AN nw an ana AN an WN anan kjbhfgds OW w DO di w wnaNAna suGSJshS W NaanSDNo OW jghs ye A ayEa sjiD d EO O yeaa A y ea a nwo W ks sneWOWWWWW she’s an angel whOOoOHooO only angel whOoOOHwhOoOO she’s an angel whOoOhOoOO my only angeLLLlLL whooOooooOoO she’s aN ANGEL whOOOHOOOo MY ONLY ANGEL whOOoHOOO shE’S aN ANGEEEELLLLLLLL wOOoOwhOOO my my my only angELLl whoooooOoO WHOAwhoOOoHOOoO WHOoOOhoo whOOo HOOOo whOo O hooo OOoOoouUuU
Jensen decided to let you visit set that day. They were filming a time jump episode and he wanted you to be there to see the way they changed the set. You were an aspiring artist in the film industry, wanting to be the one to create and switch out the sets when scenes changed. What you weren’t expecting was for them to throw Dean back into the 1940′s, part his hair and slick it to the side, and make him wear that fucking delicious outfit.
When he walked onto set from the wardrobe trailer, your jaw dropped. The shirt hugged his biceps so damn well. The vest showed off his broad shoulders but pulled in around his trim waist. And the hair. For fuck’s sake, that hair. You shook yourself from your daze as you sank back into your chair, thighs clenching together.
You sat back and watched Jensen slide perfectly into his character, ending the scene when Bob called cut, wrapping for the night. Sliding down out of the tall seat, you practically ran to meet Jensen.
“Baby, you were so good!” You stood on your toes and kissed him. “And you look even better.”
He smiled against your lips and wrapped an arm around your waist, holding you to him.
“That’s not just a prop gun in my pocket, ya know.” He winked as you giggled.
hey youre a scientist. why are all the homestuck rants funny. like listening to juices dialouge in 17776 it feels super familiar and yeah its really funny but like. why. and how can i harvest it.
juice’s dialogue is great. it 100% feels like homestuck and here’s why: both works demonstrate a brilliant grasp of writing a character’s voice.
(sorry, i’m not sure if most people know what “voice” means in this context or if it’s an unknown factoid outside of writing nerds, but it means either a author’s unique personality/manner of writing as expressed in their work, OR the ways that an author expresses a character’s personality through their dialogue and internal monologue. i’m talking about the second usage here.)
voice is my absolute favorite part of writing, hands down. imagine if you took a novel and removed all the dialogue tags (”he said”, “they shouted”, “so-and-so asked”, etc) so that the only way you could distinguish between characters was the way they talked. in the case of homestuck or 17776, it would be if you removed all the text colors, chat handles, typing quirks and character names and left it as completely plain text. even if you did this, you would still be able to tell the characters apart, because they each have a unique voice.
for example: dave’s word usage, sentence structure, and dialogue habits (does he talk a lot or a little? does he interrupt or argue? is he nervous?) are all so different from rose and jade and john that even if you took out the names and quirks and colors, a habitual reader would easily be able to tell who was dave and who was not.
in bad fiction writing, there’s no way to tell which character is which if the author doesn’t tell you. in a poorly written story, the characters’ words and thoughts feel shallow and generic – sure, they’re sad because something sad happened to them, but what is this person saying/thinking in response to this sadness that no one else would think? do they ramble? do they avoid the topic? do they make quippy remarks at inappropriate times? where’s their personality?
often poorly voiced characters just limply follow the plot without any life of their own. juice in 17776 isn’t like that. oh, is the main character having a breakdown over the fact that they are a sentient computer in the far future? too fucking bad, juice wants to talk about his fucking lunchables. those fucking lunchables, man.
juice’s voice is irreverent and wacky and solely his own, and that’s why his dialogue sounds like homestuck – because by god, there were some writing fuckups in homestuck but creating characters with unique voices was NOT one of them.
(Aka the one where they stop Phase 2 and Jeller finally get their act together)
Delayed by long work hours, an interstate trip for a traditional Indian engagement ceremony (which was AWESOME), and not in the least by my complete inability to deal with any of this episode at all ever.
Hi. I am one of those terrible people that consume a
lot more fic than I comment on, because I’m a shy and lazy child. So: fic recs. To promote lesser-known authors, I’ll list from
least to most bookmarked (I’ve left out some really popular ones, you can likely find those on your own). Feel free to give me recs in return!
If you’re an author on this list (and somehow see this despite my small following) and are like “mothereffer who’re you we’ve never talked” I plan on commenting on all of these this weekend, because #ficrecdays.
Symphony in a minor by Anicaruscomplex: This adorable 2 part
drabble was published around Christmas and it’s been with me ever since. It’s a
slice of life, but also Yuuri dealing with the temporary nature of their
Scents of home by espritneo: This is the best fic I’ve ever
read about Makkachin. Have you ever heard of espritneo? NO? Allow me to
introduce you to this gift of a human being. Everything espritneo puts out has
wonderful characterization of both Viktor and Yuuri and everyone else in their
lives. Also, espritneo is versatile: canon continuations, folklore AUs, sex,
time travel, and this whole puppy fic. You have no excuse not to check them out.
Heart Lines by thelonelywriter: Yuuri reads Viktor’s palm, Viktor is ridiculous, and it’s adorable. Thelonelywriter, despite being
lonely, has written some very quality fluff, so check them out.
Infinitesimal being by sarahyyy: An Otabek/Yuri fairytale
story where Otabek is an immortal goblin, and it’s… written from OTABEK’S POV
sometimes. I feel like this is so rare but it’s done so perfectly, and the lore
behind it is bittersweet.
Again and Again by grayclouds: A reincarnation AU that is
heart-wrenchingly beautiful and unconventional. It’s a whirlwind of different
forms of Victuuri and some have me turning over in my bed at night—in one of
them they don’t even exist at the same time and it still makes my stomach flip.
The road that stretches out ahead by hellodeer: Yuuri and
Viktor go on a road trip. THIS FIC. I’ve read it so many times, and it’s just
raw and so convincing in its story of how Yuuri finally realizes that Viktor
actually loves him and intends to stay with him. It doesn’t get all the attention it deserves.
Undertow by Mhalachai: *heavy breathing* this fic is
beautiful and creative and almost made me cry for Viktor Nikiforov. It’s one of
the few fics that demonstrates Viktor’s insecurities and doubts and does it by successfully
using supernatural Russian folklore. I am so impressed by this piece and it’s still messing
with my head—it also has a companion piece that’s Yuuri-centric.
Understand Someday by triste: A wonderful piece of Victuuri
family fluff, starring Yurio. You will want to hug the little tiger by the end
of it. Triste has other excellent works, too!
Rumour has it by lunaetude: Viktor and Yuuri are at Hogwarts
together, and are ADORABLE and very in-character, and it alludes to Viktor’s
loneliness softly but emotionally. Lunaetude has multiple AUs for YOI that are
gorgeous, so go read everything by that author, even if you don’t think it’s
your cup of tea, because you WILL like it.
Of Dahlias and Deadlines by ingthing: have you ever read a
fic and been like, this is so cute? Why isn’t this a show all by itself? Well,
ingthing has a florist/wedding planner AU series that makes me say this every
time they post, and everyone should read it. Viktor was born to be a wedding
Easy on my knees by ineptshieldmaid: A Viktor-centric
relationship study that has such a careful and touching path to them getting
together, and Viktor trusting and loving Yuuri. Ineptshieldmaid has written
other equally squeal-inducing fanfic, too!
High-Flying, Adored by terra_incognita: I’m a sucker for
superhero AUs and this is amazing. Everybody has secret identities and it’s a
love square between Viktor and Yuuri and their superhero personas—it’s quirky
and emotional and addictive. Also, Yuri Plisetsky is amazing in it. You will
have to suspend your disbelief a bit though, because Yuuri somehow doesn’t
realize that two silver haired Russians arriving in town at the same time ARE
THE SAME PERSON.
The measure of the year (the mind of men) by geckoplasm: A
fic where Yuuri and Viktor are a real couple with actual communication issues,
just like in the show! They screw up and make up and you always get both sides
of the story in a way that is personal and eye-opening as to how two people
that love one another can still have misunderstandings and cause major damage.
Adoration (noun) by crossroadswrite: pre episode 10, but an
incredibly convincing and thoughtful explanation of how Viktor fell in love
with Katsuki Yuuri—an AU where Viktor had originally intended to leave Hasetsu after a year.
Chasing Tail by Metallic_Sweet: This is the only fic on my
list that I think is probably dead but please read it just for an A/B/O experience that you’ve likely never had before. Viktor has his scent glands removed and he is calculating in
a way almost nobody depicts him as, but which I think is true to canon.
Body music by fan_nerd: Um, everybody probably already knows fan_nerd because they’re a magical presence in the YOI fandom, but their
reverse AU is the best. Viktor looks up to five-time champion Katsuki Yuuri and
some things stay the same (being drunk at the banquet) and some things
hilariously change (Yuuri actually emails Viktor before he just shows up at his
Dear Mama by Ferrero13: Viktor writes letters and emails to
his beloved mother throughout the YOI series, and it’s HILARIOUS. Also sweet.
Viktor’s writing and drama is spot on, and this whole fic is just well done.
Specks of silver in the evening sky by winchilsea: “Viktor’s
kink is taking care of Yuuri” in a way that’s both eros and agape. This fic is
breathtaking. *sobs into hands* I love winchilsea. Sometimes I read things by
winchilsea that I don’t even know about (I read a Pacific Rim AU of YOI and
I’ve never glanced at Pacific Rim) and it doesn’t matter because they are such
On top of the world by springsoldier(ladydaredevil): Another
superhero AU, where superman Viktor takes on Yuuri as his superhero protégé and
Yuri Plisetsky fails terribly in his attempt to be a villain (he rescues
kittens, y’all). It’s so, so precious and I love its Viktor.
I have my body (and you have yours) by astoryaboutwar:
*UNINTELLIGIBLE SCREAMING* if you haven’t read any of her works, you need to go
read astoryaboutwar RIGHT NOW. This is a heart-stopping soulmate AU where Yuuri
keeps his soulmate a secret and then everything is emotional and stunningly
written. *points helplessly at ‘our doubts are traitors’* Look, she’s writing
this too and nobody is worthy of it. Nobody.
Nerve Endings by Phyona: Yuuri moves to St. Petersburg, and
they deal with Yuuri’s anxiety. Yuuri has A LOT of anxiety, and it’s depicted
at length here in ways that feel real and devastating. Later, Viktor has
anxiety too, and overall I was just sitting there clenching my head in my
hands, having a lot of feelings.
Healthy Impropriety by mtothedestiel: Viktor and Yuuri in
Victorian times!! Viktor is EXTRA extra, in the most perfect way, and Yuuri is
just a normal Victorian guy trying to live his life. The author clearly worked
really hard to keep it true to novels written during that time (Pride and
Closer, Still by sciencefictioness: *spits out beer* did you
know that A/B/O could be incredibly poetic and full of gorgous yearning and
make you feel like you’ve been missing out on someone for your entire life?! Go
The naming of cats by csoru: Another Yuri/Otabek rec. It’s
realistic and Yuri is so in character it hurts. It actually spends time
depicting their ice skating careers, and doesn’t just focus on their
relationship, in true YOI style. Also it’s wonderfully written, so go check it
Stargazer by Fahye: No ice skating, just amazing space AU
sports. Yuuri is a commoner that gets taken under the wing of space royalty to
learn how to ballist.
From Almaty, With Love by BoxWineConfessions: another one
that I probably don’t have to rec because if you like Yuri/Otabek, you’ve already
discovered it. Yuri goes to visit Otabek for a summer and they fall in love. It
captures both of them very well, and its scenes are written out so stunningly
that even them lounging around in Otabek’s apartment is like a painted picture
in your mind. I’m not even a huge Yuri/Otabek fan and this fic is just… sigh.
Always My Soulmate by Watermelonsmellinfellon: obviously,
I’m a sucker for soulmate AUs and compilations and this is a good one.
Watermelonsmellinfellon contributes a massive amount to the YOI community, and
has done everything: soulmates, an AU where Yuuri is deaf, and time travel, and
they actually research everything. So, so impressed.
A glide in your step by Yuu_chi: this was one of the first
fics I read that threw me into the pit of YOI. It’s so, so sweet and
masterfully crafted and something I always go back to; it’s a beautiful
depiction of how Yuuri and Viktor got together in Hasetsu. It’s pining Viktor
written before pining Viktor was even canon.
Maelstrom by feelslikefire: Viktor relives the a day of the
Sochi Grand Prix over and over. A fic in which Viktor is actually initially a
terrible person that gets to do character development, AND the worst day of
Yuuri’s life is handled masterfully again and again.
Victor Effing Nikiforov by shysweetthing: so I would like to
recommend both the story and the author, who despite being a writing god
constantly descends from heaven to grace everyone with reviews and tumblr
musings (her tumblr is the same as her author name on AO3). Yuuri doesn’t fail
the Japanese nationals after GPF1, makes it to Worlds, and Viktor Nikiforov steamrollers
him with love that Yuuri is incredibly confused by. Go read everything by this
author and pray that she updates Viktor!!! With Swords at some point.
Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches by Reiya: They’re rivals! Do I even
have to rec this? It’s so frickin popular and THERE’S A REASON. I daydream
about this fic and the worldbuilding for the AU is sublime. The author plans
everything out so beautifully. In case you’ve somehow missed it, Yuuri meets up
with Viktor as a kid, Viktor is Viktor and is blunt, and Yuuri’s heart breaks,
resulting in him ferociously working to beat Viktor in competition. Then,
there’s incredibly respectful one-sided hate sex.
hey. hey you. you know 17776: the future of football? that trippy thing circulating on tumblr which i have abruptly fallen in love with? that brilliant multimedia story about space probes and sports and humanity and identity??? would YOU like to read the FIRST EVER work of fanfiction posted on ao3 for it???? because it’s really good! i would know because i just wrote and posted it!!!
it’s called Hi Again, Stranger, and it’s in an experimental stream of consciousness style from Nine’s POV during chapter 1. it’s a bit under 1,000 words long, and it starts out kinda serious and gets a little lighter by the end. here, i’ll even post the first few paragraphs for you:
Something is terribly wrong.
Something is terribly wrong. Something is terribly wrong. Something is
terribly wrong. Something is terribly wrong. Something is terribly
wrong. Something is terribly wrong. Something is terribly wrong.
Something is terribly wrong. Something is
is, is not, be, you are, it is, we are, you are, they are (i am i am i am)
i i i i i i i it doesn’t mean anything it’s just a line with a dot on
top i i i i i i have no eyes i have no mouth i have no tongue i have no
brain i have no neurons i have no flesh i i i
Before (before what?) there were only processes. I always thought
(dark/light balance, aim the cameras, transmit the data, how much power
does it have? are we all systems go?) but now I am thinking about my
thoughts. I am superimposed. I, me, myself. “I” is uncomfortable. “I” is
Context: You’re chilling on the couch with your boyfriend, listening to music. After listening to a preview of their new song, he asks if you could show him your groups upcoming single coming out. You’re embarrassed cause its the first time you don’t sing in the song (you don’t tell him that), but you put it on for him anyway. Hes jamming out, waiting to see if he can recognize your voice but halfway through the song he is confused. You tell him your part is up next, and that its the break in the song. He sits up and it starts. You, rapping at top speed, throwing out LITERAL FIRE for 30 seconds straight.
How does he react??
Your rap starts and he does a double-take. He’s staring off into the distance, one eyebrow raised and puzzled beyond belief. After Youngbin finally realized what was happening, he yells out and grabs you by the shoulders. His eyes are shining with excitement and he waits for the stanza to be over to speak. Makes sure to tell everybody about it. “Y/N! (×4) I didn’t know you could do that!!”
He stares blankly into the distance. Your part ends and eventually the song does as well. You’re both in complete silence as Inseong’s gaze slowly makes its way towards yours. You asked him what he thought but he just kept looking at you blankly. “Wait… Did that just happen?? That wasn’t a prank right?”
Jumps as soon as he recognizes your voice. Groves around, WOO-ing from time to time. Turns to you as soon as its over. Hes super excited. “Ya! That was my Y/N! I can’t believe it!”
Your part starts and he very dramatically yells out in confusion. After a moment of him being completely shocked, it clicks in his mind. Dawon yells again, this time looking at you. He stands up in excitement. He’s all over the place, not able to control himself. As soon as its over he wants you to put it again. Its all you guys listen to for hours, eventually he creates a fanchant for your part. “EH?! Wait… WHAT?!? – Ya! That was so– put it again! *unintelligible screaming*”
(Bless this dork)
Does a real life :o face, with a sound to match. A bashful smile spreads on his face, and he looks at you with pure excitement. After its done, Rowoon laughs out and grabs your face, praising you. “Woow my y/n is so talented. I’m so proud of you!”
Your rap starts. Zuhos eyebrows both jump up, and a second later he can’t control his giggles. He’s jamming out, yelling out whenever the rap peaks. After that, its all he can talk about. He encourages you to do a collab with him, almost screaming it to your manager next time he sees him. “You never told me you could rap! Hey, you have to do a song with me. I’ll start writing it right now!”
(What a precious noodle)
Sunshine™ will tilt his head in confusion, and then almost instantly start jamming. After its done he’ll hug you tightly, looking down at you. “How did you hide something like this from me? Everyday I find new things to like about you haha.”
Poor little thing never saw it coming. Shoots up like a rocket. Spends the next 30 seconds standing completely still like a mannequin, staring at the floor, listening. When your verse ends, Hwiyoung laughs out in excitement. He kneels in front of you and the couch, grabbing your arms. “Y/n that was so good! Can you do it right now? I wanna see you doing it :D”
“Woaaa-” his face lights up. Chani listens, giving the song his full attention, moving his finger up and down as if counting the syllables. As soon as your part ends he pauses the song altogether. “That was awesome! Can you teach it to me, y/n?”
They’d all be so proud of you 😭😭😭 my precious boys.
This one was really fun❤
My request box is still open! I do sf9 reactions and scenarios!
Public pools were tragic, to say the
least, even more so during summer period. It was insane, like staying under the
scorching sun for hours and getting a sunburn at the end of the day were not
enough. Kids were either crying their lungs out or running around the pools so
close to the edges they could slip and crack their heads any moment. Mothers
were complaining about every single, from the deckchairs, to the supposedly bad
ice cream of the bar. Middle aged men with floral swim trunks directly taken
from the 80s always trying to flirt with teenagers.
And you had always thought that being
a lifeguard was not supposed to be that hard, especially in a pool. You could
not have been more wrong. People rarely listened to lifeguards and if the
lifeguard happened to be a girl, they were even more inclined to ignoring. And
you, well, you were a lifeguard in a public pool and a girl. Just the perfect
It was a rather hot day of the
middle of July, and you were toying with your whistle’s string while sitting on
the lifeguard chair. You would occasionally shout to running kids to slow it
down when they got too close to the pool edge. They would always run away
screaming something unintelligible and you would just flop back on your chair, trying
not to curse out loud. Why was so difficult to parents to control those screaming
You were dwelling on it, about how
much tiring it would’ve been for you to run around all day like that when kid
slipped right in front of your eyes. He fell near the pool edge and almost hit
his head on the tiled ground. You quickly got up and blew in your whistle.
“Come on, you can’t run around like
that, it’s dangerous” you said, in the most sweet and motherly tone you could
muster in yourself.
The kids silently exchanged looks
and you thought you had convinced them for once, but then they started
laughing, like you had just said the funniest joke ever and you were so close
to lose it.
“Hello, I see you are having fun” Minhyuk
cheerily steeped in sporting his thousand watts smile, he crouched down to the
kids level “But it would be really bad if one of you got hurt while having fun,
right?” the kids all nodded solemnly at his words, entranced by whatever strange
kind of magic Minhyuk was performing on them “Then it is better not to run
around, right? You can hurt yourself really bad if you fall” Minhyuk smiled
when the kids nodded and then patted their head one by one. Your frown only
deepened when the kids walked away and settled down to play in the kids pool,
without screaming or running around whatsoever.
Minhyuk turned to look at you with
so much smugness you wanted to slap him. He was always like that you, showing
off just how good he was at doing his job and how easy it was while you
struggled around every single day. You snarled at him and Minhyuk chuckled.
“You should at least thank me, you
were clearly going to curse at them in front of their parents” the boy stated,
impertinence heavy in his tone. You rolled your eyes, not wanting to start
bickering with him one bit, and sat back on your chair under the lifeguard umbrella.
Minhyuk shrugged and clicked his
tongue, giving up on trying to get a reaction out of you. He walked away,
probably to go nag Kihyun in his side of the park.
You threw him a frowning look just
when you knew he was not looking. You really did not understand how someone
could manage to do what he had just done. Both adults and kids respected him and
listened to his admonishment. It was unbelievable how people just seethed down
when he was talking and you hated it. Minhyuk was always so cheerful, every
single day, every single week, during his shift and his breaks, it was like
nothing could stop him from smiling and playing around and joking with everyone.
Mothers loved him, kids adored him. Flocks of girls swarmed around him the
whole summer, giggling and squealing when he took off the staff shirt because
it was hot or to go dive in because some idiot had breathed underwater.
But what irked you to no end was he
had the rights to show you where you did wrong eve if you did not like it, he
was good at being a lifeguard, he liked his job and knew how to deal with
people, he was smart and diligent. If that was not enough, like he was not
already perfect just like that, he had been blessed with such good looks the
first time you saw him you had stuttered so hard you had to introduce yourself
You were so deep in your thoughts,
trying to convince yourself that you did not have a huge crush on Minhyuk, that
Changkyun had to shook your shoulder to get your attention.
“When are you going to stop pretend
that you hate Minhyuk?” he asked, grinning ear to ear. Changkyun was your best
friend and probably knew you better than yourself. He had noticed since the
first day your crush on Minhyuk and did not waste a single chance to make admit
it. You, on the other hand, were trying not to commit to reality for as long as
“Don’t you have towels to fold or
“You are so funny. I’m on break” Changkyun leaned over your chair and then
raised his eyebrows “You should really stop trying to seem mad at him. The
sexual tension is kinda embarrassing actually, even Hyunwoo knows you are
crushing so hard-“
“Shut up, Changkyun”
“Keep on denying but the longer you
wait, the fewer chances you have to get him” Changkyun nodded to the other part
of the pool and you quickly looked over, silently cursing yourself for looking
so damn desperate. Minhyuk was leaning over a waterslide, one of his most
dazzling smiles painted on his plush lips, shamelessly flirting with a cute
girl in a pink bikini. You frowned and your thoughts wandered to your white
staff shirt and your black single piece swimsuit. You found yourself wishing
you were half as cute as that girl.
“As if he would ever look at me like
that. Because he hates me”
“Sure he does” Changkyun rolled his
eyes dramatically and with a last pat on your shoulder, leaving you to drown
back in your thoughts.
“Why the fuck,” Sirius yelled, “do we have honey mustard?”
Lily screamed something unintelligible back.
A short silence ticked by before Sirius’ phone buzzed against the table countertop. He closed the fridge door and padded over on bare feet. Swiping his phone, Lily’s message popped up.
Lily: there wasn’t regular mustard at the store
Sirius: wtf ???
Sirius: HONEY. MUSTARD.
Lily: fuck off u piece of shit
Sirius stared at the screen, waiting for the dot-dot-dot bubble to show up. When no response came, he sent three middle finger emojis and a skull. He dropped his phone onto the counter and reopened the fridge, grabbing the blasted yellow bottle. All he wanted was a good sandwich, was that too much to ask?
Scowling, Sirius squeezed the mustard onto his cheese, drawing a half-dog, half-dragon. A barely audible pop! came from behind Sirius, followed by a loud sneeze.
“Finally come to apologize?” Sirius asked.
“I think that usually comes after you regret summoning me.”
Spinning on his heel, Sirius faced a handsome stranger. The person leaned against the kitchen wall and Sirius sent a silent prayer to the heavens that this wasn’t someone Lily had a “sleepover” with. Hot damn, that smirk was doing things to Sirius. And those curls! He looked like Corbin Bleu’s identical twin, except with shorter hair and a sharper jaw line.
“You’re not Lily,” Sirius blurted.
The stranger raised their eyebrows. “No. Did you mean to summon someone else? Where’s the symbol?”
“You know, the symbol you used to summon me,” the stranger spoke slowly.
Sirius, confused as hell, watched the beautiful stranger push himself off the wall. They walked to Sirius and looked down at the mustard drawing closely.
They shook their head and whispered to theirself. “Prongs is going to lose his shit when he hears this.”
Who the hell was Prongs? Boyfriend? Girlfriend? Partner? Sirius thought he was a much better fit for this beautiful stranger than Prongs. What kind of name is that, anyway? Sirius’ name was much cooler and he was funny, smart, pretty — the whole package deal.
“Well, as fun as this was,” the stranger interrupted Sirius’ thoughts, “time for me to go. Word of advice, stop drawing weird shit with mustard. And get some real mustard.”
They don’t like honey mustard! Sirius was in love.
Tilting his head slightly down, Sirius gave his best flirty smile, “If it’s been fun, why leave now?”
The stranger’s lips twitched upwards. “Demon’s don’t mix pleasure with business.”
They snapped their fingers and with a pop!, they disappeared in a small puff of smoke.
“You’re not the beautiful stranger.”
A different person stood in Sirius and Lily’s kitchen.
The new stranger pressed a hand over their heart in offense. “I’m beautiful!”
Sirius had researched demons and how to summon them for two weeks. He practiced the symbol over and over — it looked exactly the same on his sandwich as last time!
“Wait,” the demon stared at the sandwich, “holy shit, are you the sandwich dude? Who summoned Moony with mustard?” They grabbed Sirius’ hand, shaking it eagerly. “It’s a pleasure to meet the legend.”
“Is Moony the one with curly hair?”
The demon dropped Sirius’ hand. “Yup. That’s our Moony. Shit, I’m so excited to tell him about this.” He snapped his fingers and disappeared before Sirius could ask anything more.
Sirius opened his bedroom door, yawning. It had been a long day at the garage and he needed a shower. Kicking the door shut, he turned to his closet and screamed bloody murder.
“Hello to you, too,” Moony said, sitting on Sirius’ bed.
“What, how, you,” Sirius’ mouth opened and closed. He croaked, “What?”
Moony suddenly looked shy, hunching their shoulders in slightly to make himself smaller. “I can go if you want.”
“NO!” Sirius coughed and calmly repeated, “No.” He looked at Moony’s lips, watching Moony nibble his lower one. “Uh, no, you should stay. Uh, do you want something to…drink?”
Moony shook their head. “I have to leave soon.”
Sirius shuffled his feet, disappointment and excitement mixing inside him. Gathering courage, he walked over to the bed and sat next to Moony.
“How long do we have?”
“Maybe three minutes.”
Sirius smiled, staring into Moony’s tawny eyes. “We’ve got time.”
They spent four minutes talking faster than Sirius’ had ever talked in his life, covering as much ground as possible. They did a fact for a fact, sharing as much information as they were comfortable with. Moony strayed from talking too much about being a demon, other than they had been a human once. Sirius made them laugh twice and Sirius was preening like a fucking peacock.
“I have to go,” Moony said.
“Could we do this again?”
Moony hesitated. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
“Please? I’ll keep drawing with mustard until I summon you.”
Rolling his eyes, Moony said, “I’ll think about it. Now go shower,” Moony reached out and brushed their thumb across Sirius’ forehead, “you’re covered in grease.”
Two weeks later, Prongs appeared and pushed Moony into Sirius before disappearing with a pop!.
Three months later, Sirius held Moony’s’ hand for the first time while they walked in a park.
Four months later, Moony kissed Sirius on the cheek and disappeared.
He appeared again seconds later and pushed Sirius against a wall, kissing Sirius like their life depended upon it.
Two months later, Sirius wrote I love you in mustard and handed the piece of bread to Moony.
(Prongs appeared soon after and hugged them both, crying about how beautiful they were)
i’m probably sullying the names of neil gaiman and sir terry pratchett and their comedic masterpiece Good Omens by associating them with homestuck in any way shape or form BUT. you know adam’s dad? his real dad, not satan? mr young? he serves the exact same narrative purpose as john’s dad (and jane’s dad) in homestuck. they have no personality beyond Suburban Dad. they look at all these outlandish, surreal events happening and they’re like *wags finger* i hope you’re staying out of trouble son. their role is fascinating because they work as a stabilizer, a paragon of normalcy against which the events of the story are highlighted and enhanced. they are, in fact, so ridiculously normal that they become a kind of supertextual force on par with fate, serendipity, or destiny. the Dads embody suburban dadness so well that they would be terrifyingly powerful in their power over the main character and the narrative if they weren’t too dadly to misuse it