So, so good to see Jon Stewart back last night. I mean, he’s not going to change anyone’s mind. I don’t believe anyone’s mind is changing either way on this one. But he’s good salve for our team, and that’s important when so much out there rubs us raw. And as an aside, he has me thinking about growing my beard again.
This is really important: it has to be OK to criticize Hillary—now, throughout the election, and into her presidency, just like many of us have criticized Obama. She’s not without flaws and she’d be the first to say so. Some of them are serious, and not all of them are the result of the right-wing noise machine making shit up. Obviously, said criticism must be thoughtful, informed, and presented without dickheadery. But let’s please not get into a place where suggesting she could move one way or the other on an important issue is met with accusations of being a Trump supporter. Unhelpful.
I can’t be the only one uncomfortable with the recent vernacular shift around the verb “drag,” right? Do we know where this originated? Can we find a better way to express this, maybe?
Tangentially: I’m still 110% on #TeamTaylor and will be to the end. Kanye is a garbage scow of a human, and he appears to have found a perfect mate, talentless and vapid. Fuck them both with fire.
We go once more unto the breach in tournament baseball this weekend. I’m thinking of eschewing the book for stat-keeping and using an app instead. I’ve been keeping a book at baseball games for 40+ years. Hold me as I leap into this uncertain future of 2009.
So last night me and the GF went to the local sex shop to get some stuff. It was us, the clerk, and this one white bro who kept making comments on literally everything I picked up. About five minutes in the clerk faints and is unconscious for about a minute so I call 911 and give the phone to my GF cuz she understands these situations more. During this time another guy walks in and is completely uncaring of the fact that this poor woman is u concours and shaking slightly, he just wants to exchange a toy and buy more pron. the other guy is still making unless airy comments and joking about stealing stuff to me and racist comments about the other guy there. About halfway through the store gets a phone call so my GF answers is and it was another guy asking when the place closes so she turns him away saying it’s an emergency and there’s no other clerks available and he… Doesn’t listen/get it???
So basically the whole time these guys were unhelpful and uncaring dicks while me and my girlfriend were trying to get this woman actual medical help because she could not stay conscious.
Hey Jeffrey, I was wondering if you had any tips for people with violent impulsive thoughts. And for people who self harm. Thank you. You're a ray of sunshine in this world, and I'm very glad you exist.
I’m glad you exist!
The answer is self-care.
The first bit of advice is to find someone to talk to about all that’s going on. You deserve a real live caring person who will listen and respect you. This usually looks like a teacher or counselor, or you can google the Trevor Project.
While you’re looking for that person to talk to, it might be good to exercise. I know it sounds crazy at first, but if you’re having thoughts about acting out in violent unhelpful ways, it can be good to act out in helpful ways instead. Go for a run. Play wheelchair basketball. Get moving.
When I think about self-harm, I think about feeling out of control. Do you know that it’s not up to you to keep life or other people or circumstances looking and acting the way they “should”? You don’t need to take responsibility for the whole world. Also, sometimes people say that the pain of self-harm is the only thing that feels real to them. We can start practicing enjoying other very real feelings. Your emotions are valid. Your feelings matter. You matter.
Find someone to talk to. You deserve to be heard. 💛
No, the most effective way to prevent pregnancy is not having sex in the first place.
I think it’s funny that if I were to google “how not to drown” right now, I would probably get answers like “wear a lifejacket”, or “swim with a buddy”, or “never go swimming at night or in unfamiliar water.” I highly doubt I’d get “just don’t go near water, problem solved,“ because that’s already kind of obvious and not helpful for those who are set on going swimming.
The vast majority of us know that not having sex is the best way to not get pregnant. Saying that is incredibly unhelpful to those who are going to have sex anyway. Abstinence is a great option, but it’s not for everyone. We need every day solutions for every day things, not condescention like this. -V
many people do not experience “romantic / sexual / platonic / sensual / aesthetic / whatever attraction” as being completely separate from one another, and creating a split attraction model that divides attraction into increasingly smaller sections and insisting that this model dictates who is oppressed and who is not, is ridiculous, unhelpful and doesn’t reflect how oppression works in a practical, material, tangible way.
This is a
post about boys. It is the only post I will ever make on this blog about this
matter, but I really need to get it off my chest because it’s at the point
where I’m starting to feel unwelcome in the fandom. This is a response to
hateful or unhelpful posts about boys in general in addition to the recent
events surrounding the 5sos boys.
are in the 5sos fandom, please understand that there are boys in the fandom as
well, and we’re the ones who read your posts that say “all boys are gross”,
“men are useless”, “I hate boys”. I know that most of these posts and reblogs
are jokes and/or directed at cis, het, white boys, but even then, my friends,
you need to stop generalising.
to be angry with misogynists, but don’t hate all men for no reason. There are
so many of us who want to be on your side.
I am a
boy who is a feminist (proudly.) I have studied feminist units at university. I
think I understand these issues quite well and I want change as much as
(arguably more than) the next person. What this fandom needs to recognise is
that hate only breeds more hate. Young girls are already a vastly discriminated
group, which is something we all want to change. However, if the response of
young girls to sexism is to go online and post about how much they hate boys
and how all boys are stupid and dumb and worthless and should die, well then
buddy I have news for you; all you’re going to get is hate in return.
not doing themselves or the feminist movement any favours by making us feel
like shit by hating us for things we haven’t done. It is not boys that are the
problem - it is the way they were raised in modern society. Boys did not choose
to have oppressive views. I think what is often the case is that boys are
unaware that there is an alternative. They cannot make a choice if they are not
aware they have one, or if they do not fully understand what the choice is – I
argue that many boys don’t like or are afraid of feminism because they don’t
as young feminists should be to inspire change in the way people think, not
hate them because they think differently. You need to educate people, not hate
them. Don’t hate boys: educate them. Education is so fucking important, and I’m
not talking like high-school education (fuck geometry), I’m talking
large-scale, revolutionary, Bernie Sanders-esque social education. As a large
group of youth, young women have so much power. You have so much potential to
change the music industry that produces music that is such a big part of your
lives but discriminates against you at every given opportunity. Let’s unite
girls and boys to fix the mistakes of generations past.
I am making a new blog @5sosrevolution. I am trying to figure out a way for us to make
positive change to help young female fans who are treated so badly by the media
and the music industry that relies on them. If you are interested in joining me
or want to respond to what I have said, please follow/message me, @5sosrevolution.
in summary, all I want to say is think before you make a post – please do not
make hateful posts about boys in general when it’s boys like me who read them
and feel targeted by them, making us feel unwelcome in the fandom. Maybe next
time you go to reblog a hateful post, take a moment to think and consider not
hating men and educating them instead, breathing some much-needed positive
change into this fandom. Thank you for your time.
(special thanks to @mikeykink for helping me get my thoughts in order <3)
how much do you wanna bet jesse told cassidy “change the sign out front today” and cassidy was like “….what should I change it to” and jesse just says “…something meaningful” in his typically vague and unhelpful manner so cassidy just
Hello! I’m sorry to put this question to you directly as you’ve previously denied a whole lot of knowledge as to ‘Nam-era armament but I wonder if I could impose upon your network to help me puzzle out what’s going on with this unidentified soldier’s rifle. To my great shame, I’ve lost my Stoner/AR books in a move and came across this striking photo I at some time gleaned from a vet’s/combat-camera’s old website, which is either no longer being spidered or I’m doing it wrong. Anyhow, as I have no date on the photo, and reverse-image-searches are unhelpful, I can’t pin down whether it’s an XM-177 or a proper CAR-15, but regardless what interests me is that extra-long, straight 5.56 magazine, with what looks like a plastic either external mag-follower or some kind of marking-system(?) capping it. I wasn’t aware of AR mags apart from the steel-waffles, Orlites, and various curved-30-round test and issue mags. Surely some Black Rifle historian can help me out?
Words: 628 Plot:Peter is jealous and feeling sorry for himself. Good thing Scott is around to be an unhelpful asshole. A/N: A few weeks ago there was consensus that we all needed more jealous Peter in our lives. Well, get ready for your dreams to come true with the most angsty jealous fic that your eyes ever did see. It’s happening; it’s not a dream. It’s real. May do a sequel if people are super duper keen.
Peter gritted his teeth, feeling a lump in his throat rising up from his stomach. Sitting on his usual bench looking out over the lake, he watched on. He wasn’t sure whether he was going to vomit, but he certainly felt like it with the way she was looking at him.
Ugh. Steven Hutchinson. He had that muscular quarterback look about him; all tousled blonde hair and sturdy physique. The kind of guys Peter had despised in high school, and the kind of guys he’d hoped he would be able to escape now that he was living at the mansion.
So far? No luck. And her? She was perfect. Perfect in any way someone could be perfect. Soft hair and gentle hands and a smile that could light up any room; any day. Peter had fallen for (y/n) right then and there, from the first History class they had taken together. She’d made a joke about Roman plumbing, and he’d felt drawn to her. He had been working up the courage to tell her; and then this burly idiot had decided to ruin everything. “Jealous?” Scott piped in, taking a seat on the bench next to Peter. Scott wasn’t always subtle; today he was probably having a field day. “Pfft. What’re you on about, man?” Peter replied, taking a bite out of his grilled cheese sandwich nonchalantly. Scott nodded towards the two figures across the lake; they were sitting under a tree. Just talking. Nothing unusual. Just… Ah, crap. He was giving her the eyes. Peter breathed out heavily, swallowing hard.
Peter shrugged. Scott stared blankly at him. “Seriously? Do you think I’m an idiot?” Scott pressed his fingertips to his forehead “Don’t. Answer that.” Peter gave a wide grin before setting the rest of his sandwich down on the bench. He’d lost his appetite for once;
something he wasn’t used to.
“Look; you can pretend there’s nothing going on - whatever. But I’ve known you for almost a year now, and you’ve spent a good half of that time crushing on (y/n)” Scott clasped his hands together, leaning forwards on the bench “you know she likes you, right?” Peter whipped his head around, silver hair flopping in his face “what?” Scott shrugged, nodding “she told Jean about it a while back”. Peter tipped his head to the side, narrowing his eyes “and you didn’t tell me because…” “…Because Jean only told me yesterday” Scott added “and because now you’ve admitted you like (y/n), and so…yeah, my job is basically done.” Peter sighed, scratching the back of his head in thought “dude, that was pretty well played”. Scott nodded “Just tell her how you feel.” “I feel like I can’t compete with that mountain of muscle” Peter added, tapping his foot and looking up at them across the lake. (y/n) flipped her hair back over her shoulder, and Peter felt physically ill, as though he wanted to sink into the ground. He was torturing himself here; but this is where he ate lunch most days. He wasn’t about to change that for Hutchinson, or anyone. “You’ve got…qualities of some sort” Scott added, laughing to himself. “Helpful, bro. Helpful as always”. “Just be yourself. So what if he can juggle balls of fire? You can eat a burrito in less than half a second.”
Peter sighed, putting his head in his hands. His silver jacket felt heavy on his shoulders as he tried not to look at the scene unfolding in front of him. Closing his eyes to the waves of jealousy washing over him, Peter found some resolve: tonight he’d tell her how he felt. If the mountain-of-muscle, fire-juggling surfer man didn’t beat him to it. Peter groaned. Jealousy sucks.
Fear not,here's a prompt: how about andrew and neil as hostages in a bank robbery? How would that go?
Andrew hated banks. The fake hospitality, the long lines, all the unhelpful tellers smiling pleasantly while making your life harder. He made Neil deal with all that while he sat in one of their fake living room style chairs and ate their complimentary mints. Neil hated how he just munched on them rather than sucked, saying that defeated the whole purpose of a mint.
Neil was still a few people away when he’d eaten his fill and began fiddling with one of the knives in his sleeve, adjusting it so it didn’t rub one of the others and get dull.
One of the doors to the bank crashed open and a masked man pointed a gun at the tellers.
“Nobody move! I want you all on the ground, now!”
Another reason to hate banks. Kevin was getting an earful later over sending them to deal with the new team credit card. Lazy ass was the only one who used it and made them deal with it.
Andrew carefully got into his knees and put his hands behind his head, everyone else doing the same as the armed man came in, going to one of the tellers and began demanding non sequential unmarked bills. Andrew looked to Neil, who was staying calm in line and keeping his head down.
Andrew wasn’t recognizable except to the most hardcore Exy fans. He never talked to press and usually only appeared in full gear. But Neil was recognizable, not only as a player but for what happened with Baltimore. You didn’t forget those scars once you had seen them. And this guy might just decide a popular college athlete was worth more than what he could shove into a bag.
Andrew carefully moved across the floor, settling between Neil and the armed man, blocking his vision of Neil should he look over.
The guy continued to wave his gun around, and Andrew began to feel sure he didn’t have any bullets in there. If he did he would have let off a few when he came in to make sure everyone was scared. And with how casually he was waving it around, he obviously wasn’t afraid of hurting anyone and bumping this from grand larceny to murder.
Andrew leaned towards Neil.
“I’m going to stab him.”
“Don’t be an idiot, Andrew.”
“He doesn’t have any bullets in there. It’s a show.”
“And if you’re wrong?”
“I get shot.”
“This is a bad plan.”
He slipped one of Renees blades from his sleeve, palming it and moving towards the man who was checking for ink packs. He flipped the knife around between his fingers, jabbing it into his thigh. The man screamed and grabbed for his leg, Andrew kicking the empty gun out of his reach, figuring no one else would move unless he did.
Neil grabbed him and pulled him along as they all ran out, Andrew grabbing the knife as they went. It wasn’t his, after all, and Renee might want them all back one day.
Andrew let the witnesses explain what happened to the cops, Neil got him out of the bank and back to Fox tower as quickly as he could so he wouldn’t be put into a position where he was tempted to stab more people.
They explained what happened to their alarmed team mates back in their dorm. After fussing over them and making sure they were alright (and Kevin asking why they couldn’t just finish the credit card transaction while they were there) Matt raised his hand, looking confused.
“If you weren’t in danger, why not just let him go?”
Andrew shrugged. “Where’s the fun in that?”
Well, that really got the others going.
“Stabbing people shouldn’t be fun!
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
He sat back and tuned out their familiar confusion and outrage, focusing on Neil’s fingers working out a knot in his neck. They were all so odd sometimes.
Request: Can you do one where Draco halfway on 1st year secretly becomes best friends with what was at first his enemy,who is a Ravenclaw.A really witty,sassy and stubborn one.But through the years they start to date secretly.&on 7th year everyone finds out
Currently Accepting Requests For: Harry Potter, Gossip Girl, and Supernatural.
This turned out much longer than I anticipated, but I loved writing it!
“Y/L/N, why can’t you do anything right? Aren’t Ravenclaws supposed to be intelligent?”
My pale, platinum blonde haired Transfiguration partner hisses at me. We’re supposed to be transfiguring goblets into mice, and Draco’s incessant taunting and unhelpful snorts aren’t getting the job done.
“Maybe because I got an absolute git for a partner.” I growl back, glaring at him.
Draco rolls his eyes at my reply, acting unphased.
“Just shut up so we can get this over with, alright?” I mutter, clenching my jaw as I concentrate on the spell. Soon, the once goblet is scurrying off the desk and onto the floor.
“Well done, Miss Y/L/N & Mr. Malfoy. You two make a splendid pair.” McGonagall nods at our effort.
Draco snorts with disgust, and I try to cover my gag. I make my way to grab my books quickly, and turn to leave. I can’t however, because I come face to chest with Draco.
“Watch where you’re going!” He hollers, making a big show of dusting off his shoulder.
I raise my eyebrows at him, “I’d try to watch, if you weren’t in my bloody way, you giant!” I cry, thumping him on the shoulder as I stride past.
“You know, you really shouldn’t have gone up to Buckbeak like that.” Y/N says, matter of factly.
She’s seated next to Draco in the hospital wing, who’s whining and boasting about his arm.
He turns to glare at her, “Or, that oaf could try to teach lesson plans that don’t involved student casualties.” He retorts.
Draco and Y/N had come a long way from 1st year, they had managed to become acquaintances, and eventually really good friends. Some would even say, best.
“Stop drawing! I’m dying here!” He whines, pathetically trying to reach over and rip the sketchbook from her grasp. She chuckles, shutting it and setting it aside.
“Hardly so, Draco.” Y/N says, pulling her chair closer to his bed. He sighs, eyes shutting.
“This pillow is horrid. It feels like bricks.” He mutters, shifting around.
Y/N sighs, standing up and reaching behind him.
“Maybe that’s because you’re not laying on it. ” She points out, the pillow almost falling off the bed. She fixes the pillow and eases him back down on it gently.
“Better?” She asks. He nods at her with difficultly.
“You’re so stubborn, Draco.” Y/N says, sinking into her seat once again.
“And you’re not?” He counters with a cock of his eyebrow.
“Do you want me to leave?” She asks wittily.
Panic strikes Draco’s features momentarily, “No! No. Stay. I’m sorry.” He mutters with an eye roll.
She smiles at him wickedly, picking up her sketch book again.
Y/N hisses in pain, gripping one hand in the other as she keeps her head low and makes her way back to the Ravenclaw house. Umbridge had done a number on her hand today, all because Y/N had pointed out that her lesson plans were daft and pointless. The blood is dripping now, from her hands onto her white stockings.
“Damn.” She mutters, gritting her teeth.
She hurries as fast as she can, struggling to keep the tears in her eyes at bay. The stinging is almost unbearable. A set of 100 lines had increased to 200, when Umbridge had caught her doodling instead of writing.
“Y/N?” An all too familiar voice calls in front of her.
She freezes, her Y/E/C eyes blinking back tears to see Draco, her best friend, coming towards her alarmingly fast. She tries to hide her hands, but both are spotted with her blood.
“Y/N, why weren’t you at dinner? I missed you- is that blood?” Draco says, his tone changing as he gets closer.
“No.” You reply quickly.
He rolls his eyes at you, “Don’t lie to me.” He reaches around your back gently and pulls your clasped hands apart and towards him. He lets out a slight gasp, your blood spotting his long pale fingers.
“What happened?” He demands, gray eyes on fire. You falter, feeling your lower lip jut out softly.
“Umbridge.” You whisper, the tears now flowing freely.
“Oh, love. Come here.” Draco cooes, pulling you into his chest carefully, trying not to jostle your hand. You didn’t let yourself break down that often, Draco had been one of the few to ever really see you cry.
“You have to stop talking back, Y/N. I don’t like seeing you hurt.” Draco muses, ruffling your hair softly. You sniffle, pulling away and wiping your eyes.
“Okay.” You reply softly.
“Hey, you know I love you. You’re intelligent and witty, and it’s great. But I don’t want anything like this ever happening to you again.” Draco says, peering down at you.
Y/N freezes, eyes wide.
“What? Does it hurt?” Draco asks, glancing down at your hand with concern.
“You- you love me?” Y/N stutters, eyes wide. Draco flushes bright red, eyes anywhere but on her.
“Draco! Answer me!” Y/N cries, reaching over and poking him with her wand.
Draco sighs, and chuckles at her lame attempt.
“Yes, Y/N, I love you.”
Battle of Hogwarts
You watch as Draco walks amid the rubble that used to be the castle, towards Voldemort. Your breath catches when his eyes meet yours momentarily. The familiar light in them is no longer present, overtaken by a dark overcast instead. He shuffles into Voldemort’s arms with awkwardness, and you can’t do it anymore. You move, shaking a protesting Luna off your arm as you run forward past Ron, Hermione, and the others.
“Draco! Draco, you don’t have to do this.” Y/N pleads, coming to a halt a few feet away from him.
Draco pulls away from Voldemort, his gaze silently pleading Y/N to go back.
“And who, is this, dear Draco?” Voldemort asks inquistively, walking towards Y/N.
Y/N ignores him, eyes locked on Draco.
“I know you, Draco. You’re kind, and loyal, and sweet. And I believe in you. Walk away from this. Walk away from them.” Y/N continues, glancing at Draco’s parents who are a few feet away.
Draco stands there, shell shocked.
“How dare you? I think, we should teach you a lesson, dear. ” Voldemort says, his wicked gaze on Y/N.
“Draco, I love you. Please. Please don’t do this.” You plead, taking a step backwards for each step Voldemort takes towards you.
“Enough! Avada Ked-”
Voldemort’s wand goes flying off into the rubble, and he turns around aghast. Draco’s eyes are hard, his gaze narrowed at Voldemort.
“You stay the hell away from her.” He growls, coming to your side and pulling you behind him protectively.
“Draco!” Narcissa cries, scared.
And that’s when Harry drops from Hagrid’s arms, unleashing a whole new case of chaos, giving Y/N and Draco a quick moment alone.
“Draco.” Y/N mutters, glancing up at him.
“I love you.” He breathes, resting his forehead against hers.
“I love you. Let’s finish this.” Draco says more firmly, leaning to chastely kiss your lips once before you both break away to fight off the impending group of Death Eaters.
Author:Semira Characters: Sam Winchester & Dean Winchester Word Count: 2,000 Rating: T Pairing/Genre: brothers gen, hurt/comfort, hurt!sam, irritated > worried > comforting!Dean, visions!Sam, brothers being brothers; bonus: gratuitous semi-cuddles because Sam needs them. NOTE: I wrote this for the lovely @dreamsfromthebunker who requested Powers!Sam hiding something from Dean in season 2. Sam never had visions about Ava in
canon, but I wrote this based on the premise that he did and they were the most unhelpful visions in
the world. Thus, this story
was born, with much stubborn hurt!Sam and worried Dean. Endless thanks to the ever-wonderful @shaindyl for betaing! ♥
It’ll get worse before it
gets better, people always say, and Sam damn well hopes so because if
this keeps up, he’s either going to die or be the cause of someone
The first time it happens,
he’s in the bathroom at a Love’s truck stop just off the interstate,
and when a
vision hits him out of nowhere,
Sam crumples to his knees on unyielding ceramic tile, barely breathing between bolts of crushing pain.
The vision is as mundane as it is debilitating: A
house. A mailbox without any visible address. Two creaky stairs up to the door. No blood, no
screams, no tragedy.
As visions go, it’s not bad. Unfortunately, it
hits him the same way the others do—a crippling headache,
nausea, and blistering hatred for the sun and its agonizing light.
So I have a friend who recently got a hysterectomy. One of the most common side effects is decrease in vaginal lubrication, same as with menopause. It’s very common for people to need to use lube after a hysterectomy. She went to her doctor and asked for help saying that her problem was caused by her hysterectomy and the doctor basically did not take her seriously and called her crazy.
This is one of the reasons this blog is so popular! Doctors keep giving out false or outdated information or not talking to their patients about what’s going on!
So here’s my question to you dear people of tumblr:
Have you had any similar experiences where doctors were totally unhelpful? I’d love to specifically hear about reproductive health but general health rants are accepted as well! Anyone want to share?
Do you believe in a multiverse and how fine tuned are the physical laws of the universe by that I mean how big is the margin they can differ without making a big difference?
I try to avoid having “beliefs” when it comes to science, because they’re unhelpful and tend to introduce biases. It certainly is an interesting theory though.
The idea of a fine-tuned universe is a fallacy, as we are fine-tuned to it and not the other way around. As for actual numbers to completely change the universe… I have no idea, sorry! And I don’t want to say anything that’s completely wrong. I’ve been trying to do some reading on it but I keep finding different numbers (for the strong nuclear force, I’m finding numbers that are anywhere between 0.5% and a factor of 2) and 75% of the stuff I’m finding online is crap about proving God’s existence. I think it just depends on which constant you’re looking at, too. I can’t really speak for the constants in the standard model of particle physics (because I don’t know anything about any research that is potentially done about changing its parameters), but if you’re looking at cosmological models, different cosmologies, with different cosmological constants and parameters, have been explored. If the cosmological constant were too large (again… Sorry, I have no hard numbers here! Since I’m not at uni these days most research papers are behind paywalls for me, making it hard to research things) it would prevent the formation of large structures, for example.
i'm kind of old now (27) & i used to draw more as a kid/teen & i really want to draw more again but i have no idea where to start & i'm finding it difficult to be motivated because i'll have an amazing idea in my head but it'll turn out so ugly & not what i imagined & it puts me off drawing at all... i know i need to draw to get better but i really don't know what to draw! do you have any tips or ideas? should i just be starting with basics like drawing from reference/life first? (1/2)
(2/2) also, i think because so many young artists i follow on here have already developed amazing styles i’m trying to jump the gun and have that? have a"style"? and because i don’t it really puts me off… do you have any ideas for combatting that too? sorry for the buncha questions!
drawing from life is absolutely where you should start! not just for learning technique but also for developing a style – because when you draw from life, the only filter the image passes through between reality and paper is you. so you can start to notice your stylistic inclinations based on how you authentically and intuitively interpret real information into a drawing. of course, technique takes priority over style.. give yourself time and you will come into it naturally!
& please don’t get discouraged! everyone is learning all the time and practice is the only way to improve. even now i’m not quite able to draw what i envision but i’m always inching closer to being able to!!! anyway i am so impressed by you for coming back to drawing as an adult, and hope you never feel ashamed or insufficient because that is really really cool of you and its something to be proud of.