pidge: keith i have a gay problem and need the help of a gay who is more experienced
keith: ok. what is it?
pidge: i like this girl but there’s no way she likes me back and i dunno what to do about it
keith: nothing. absolutely nothing. you do nothing, and then you do your best to ignore it but it’s just eating at you and it’s so hard to pretend it’s not there so then you watch ten thousand heteronormative hallmark movies but eventually you start getting daydreams about how great your life would be if you actually were dating and how much fun you’d have doing the cheesiest coupley stuff and you aren’t even paying attention to the hallmark movies anymore they’re just lights and sounds in the background of your daydreams but we’re in space so you don’t even have the hallmark movies so you just go straight to the daydreams and you get this idea in your head that if you two date you’ll finally be a happy functional person and you won’t have any more problems ever and you know that’s not true but you still wanna believe it anyway and now the crush is getting bigger and bigger and you’re even more of a mess and you talk to your friend about it since he says he’s always there if you need someone to listen so you think that’ll help a little bit but it turns out it doesn’t because your friend is an asshole and says “well why don’t you just tell him?” but if i could tell him then this wouldn’t. be a problem, shiro!
Transitions between the Wheel (For the four seasons)
This is from my personal practice with observing the wheel of the year and my focus on each transition between the sabbats. I honor the current seasons in between. Each transition has it’s importance to self care and managing the home and garden. I will probably add to this later cause some paragraphs I wrote I feel like are a bit vague. Some of these transitions are not meant to be 100% literal and static but I feel like they are good areas to focus on for that moment in the year.
During the thick of winter when it’s too cold to do anything and always dark, it’s the perfect moment in the year to rest. The focus is on relaxing, taking extra time to sleep and care for the body especially to not get sick. Winter is also ‘spa’ season because the air is so dry and harsh it’s a good time to soak in hot baths and scrub away dead skin and moisturize with protective lotion. Do not try to make new plans, yet sit home, rest and reflect.
Imbolc -> Ostara Cleansing
When winter thaws it’s a great time to clean the home and prepare for spring. Personally, I also like to do a body cleanse since I tend to eat a lot of processed (yet delicious ;-;) foods all year round. This also makes up for all the heavy foods I’ve been eating since Summer (all the BBQs) to Winter comfort foods. As I clean the home and get rid of stuff that has accumulated over the year, I clean the body. Also the focus is on cleaning the home as well. Breathing in the same air, especially if its full of dust, is really unhealthy and it’s good as the days are getting a little warmer to open up the windows for a few minutes to allow in fresh air to circulate. This is also the time of year I throw out old furniture, accumulated things and rearrange furniture in the room as well.
Ostara -> Beltane Sowing
Spring is a great time to germinate sprouts along with other seeds and clean the backyard or garden to grow plants. If you like to compost it’s a time to start mixing in the vegetable/fruit/plant scraps with the soil. Spring is also a great time to sow bigger changes in life as well. Something about the warm new season brings an air of flirtatiousness and ‘socialness’ that makes it perfect for making new friends or finding a partner. (Probably because people can finally come out of hibernation). It’s also a fantastic time to work on your image and portfolio and apply for long term jobs that begin in the summer or fall. Spring is the season for new beginnings and putting long term plans into action.
Beltane -> Litha Growing
A tradition I like to do on Beltane is repotting of plants and gardening. Repotting plants is a tradition I try to focus on every year because it’s very easy for house plants to die due to dead soil. Plus it makes the inside of the house super vibrant and lively to have fresh new soil in pots. From this point to summer solstice is the point of growth. Growth in the garden but also growth of personal goals. May and June feel like hectic months where there are so many events and opportunities to advance your work or change your social scene, that if I am not personally progressing, I focus all of my attention on my growth.
Litha -> Lughnasadh Thriving
Its the heat of summer! It’s time to get out and feel the intense hot energy and use its power to focus on goals and networking! Where I am there’s usually an exciting event every week where it’s an opportunity to make more connections and meet more friends but also since its warm and nature is so vibrant it’s time to take some days to relax and get away to enjoy the heat and life of nature. Go to the beach, go hiking, swim in a lake, sleep under the stars. Be active since the efforts will pay off.
-> Mabon Reaping
This is the time you earn what you’ve sowed both literally and metaphorically. If you have a garden its the time it will start giving back. If you are an active goer of a farmers market you will notice how beautifully abundant the stands are. If in Spring you’ve sent out tons of job applications, and in Summer got the job you’ve wanted and worked hard, then by now you should start seeing some results. If there are no results being seen it’s a time for reflection and re-strategizing. There is a second chance in this time to start again before the cold and the holiday season bulldozes through.
Mabon -> Samhain Harvesting/Gathering
This is the time to gather and harvest. Usually family tends to gather now since it’s the holiday season. There’s not much other than gathering to be done since family and holidays are bombarding you from all sides. Also there is an abundance of food. This is great to store for the next transition which is
Samhain -> Yule Preparation
This is the moment to prepare for winter. My warddrobe completely changes here, I take up knitting projects that were abandoned last Imbolc, and I store food and herbs for the winter to use. Also making preserves from things in the garden or hand knitting clothes make great presents for the winter holidays. This is also a time to prepare the garden for hibernation. Take in potted plants, harvest the last of the herbs and food (that are not potted). Make sure plants you do not want to die have a place to chill in the house.
#avoidance in a common reaction to trauma #magnus was doing his best to forget that even when someone asked him how he was doing or simply talk about what’s really bothering him he would defect it #which is his way to cope and with time move on
We’ve all heard that a healthy relationship has healthy boundaries. But what exactly are boundaries, and what do they look like in real life?
Boundaries are the lines you draw around yourself to keep you safe and autonomous.
Good boundaries are really strong and flexible. When they change, it’s because you chose to move them; you still know where they are and you’re still comfortable with them. If someone else pushes on them, they don’t break.
Bad boundaries are fuzzy and brittle - it’s often hard to know exactly where your boundaries are, and if someone pushes on them, they may shatter completely.
Here are some boundaries that are common to all healthy relationships:
Each person has a say in what kind of relationship this is. No one feels obligated to be more emotionally connected, sexually involved, or socially connected than they actually want to be.
Each person gets to choose what they eat, what they wear, and who they want be friends with.
Each person has private spaces, physical or otherwise (online counts), where the other person doesn’t intrude without permission.
There are some hobbies that only one person does, and that’s okay - you don’t need to do everything together.
It’s okay to disagree on some things; each person has different tastes and opinions and it’s okay to be different to each other.
Some things are private, even from each other, and that’s okay.
Each person has the right to not engage in any sexual activity at any time.
In order to keep social systems running smoothly, some common boundaries are assumed to exist in certain contexts, and crossing them without obtaining consent is considered rude or worse.
Some of these “default boundaries” include:
Not kissing strangers or touching them in a sexual way, or making sexual comments to/about them.
Not asking personal questions until you know someone well - things like weight, sexual history, etc., unless you’re in a context where it’s relevant.
Not showing your genitals to people you are not in a sexual relationship with, except a medical professional when relevant.
Not demanding hugs from strangers, unless you both are part of a group where hugs are considered a normal greeting of a stranger.
Friendships are assumed to include no sex and no romance.
Not touching children you don’t know, if you are not their caretaker.
Not getting into bed with a sleeping person you don’t usually sleep with.
Not entering the bathroom when some else is using it.
But boundaries are more than these default templates - they’re personal things. So your specific boundaries might be different to someone else’s.
Some examples of more specific boundaries might be things like:
I don’t know you very well, so I want to wait until we know each other better before I decide if I want to date you.
It’s okay if my dating partner comes into the bathroom when I’m brushing my teeth, but not when I’m showering or using the toilet. I leave the door open when it’s okay to come in.
If I’m working at my computer or otherwise engrossed in something, I ask that people use words to get my attention before touching me.
I don’t like kissing, so I don’t kiss anyone ever and they aren’t allowed to kiss me.
I don’t want anyone in my new life to try to contact my estranged family of origin.
My phone is private; no one is allowed to read my texts, etc., but me.
For date night, I don’t want to go to a restaurant that doesn’t serve food I can eat as a vegetarian.
Establishing boundaries means figuring out what your boundaries are and then making them clear to the people in your life, as relevant.
You don’t need to tell everyone you know all of your boundaries, because some people will never come close to crossing certain boundaries. But it’s important that people know what your boundaries are when they’re in the relevant territory.
So when it looks like sexytimes might happen, it’s important to talk to your partner ahead of time about what sexual boundaries you each have. When you’re headed toward a serious relationship, that’s the time to talk about the boundaries you have in that kind of relationship. When you get your own place, it’s time to establish boundaries with your parents about what it will mean for your relationship.
A boundary violation is when someone crosses one of your boundaries. Some examples might be:
Someone sending you nudes or sexually explicit messages when you’re not interested.
Someone going through something of yours that you chose to keep private.
Someone trying to tell you what you’re allowed to wear, eat, or who to be friends with.
Some boundary violations are accidental, and when that happens, the appropriate response is to reinforce the boundary by making sure the other person knows it’s there. The people in your life should be aware of what your boundaries are.
When someone violates your boundaries, you also need to defend the boundary. That means you have to figure out how to protect yourself from having that boundary crossed again. Sometimes that means a simple conversation to let them know that boundary exists, sometimes it means taking time away from someone, changing the way you interact with them, or removing them from your life entirely. Only you can decide how best to defend that boundary in the context of your life.
Unhealthy boundaries happen when someone is made to feel like they aren’t allowed to have boundaries, and that’s where enmeshment and abuse creep in.
Some examples of bad boundaries include things like:
We always end up talking whenever I want to, even if you’re busy or asleep or don’t want to.
I make it difficult for you if you try to spend time with friends without me there.
I look through your phone, purse, Internet history, or other belongings when I feel like it, without your permission.
You are not allowed to have any secrets, even ones that don’t relate to me.
I touch you however and whenever I want unless you convince me not to.
I think you should go on a diet, so even though you don’t agree, you change the way you eat to keep me from judging you.
You give up wearing certain clothes you like because I’m disrespectful to you when you wear them.
When you haven’t been allowed to have boundaries for a long time because of a dysfunctional relationship, it can be hard to know what your boundaries are.
Abusive people who want to take advantage of unformed boundaries will push on the “social default” boundaries to see if you know how to defend a boundary. If you don’t, they push on bigger and bigger boundaries and try to form a relationship where they’re in control. Be aware of that - if it feels like you have less and less control of what’s happening, that relationship is not healthy.
Respecting boundaries is one of the most important parts of keeping a relationship safe, healthy, and consensual.
If you think someone you know has a hard time setting boundaries, give them extra room to set them and be extra careful not to exert any pressure. Don’t expect people in general to always tell you their boundaries - ask outright. “How do you feel about doing this thing?” is how you get real consent. Saying “We’re going to do this thing” and then doing it just because they don’t object may be crossing a boundary.
It’s important to pay attention to whether other people are setting
boundaries (or may want to set them but are afraid to), and to talk about and defend your own boundaries as well, so everyone in the
relationship feels safe and happy.
Most people probably know by now that Sense8 fans just pulled off the impossible and brought the ridiculously expensive and technical/organizational nightmare that is this show back from the death for a 2 hour special.
We believe we can get more than that, so does Lana Wachowski, creator of the show, who wrote: ‘It’s my great pleasure (…) to announce that there will be another two hour special released next year. After that… if this experience has thought me anything, you NEVER know’
Netflix says it needs a bigger audience to be profitable, I’m here to fix that problem, here’s why you need to watch Sense8:
Why can't you just accept that Sherlolly is canon ? They have confessed their love to each other on screen.
A big part of me believes this is sent to me purely to try and get a rise out of me or something just from the way it’s phrased, but unfortunately with sherlolololly shippers being That Way that they Are, I know there is still the slightest possibility that you could be genuinely serious here and believe that what you saw was a “love confession.”
I’m here only to say to you that if that’s the case, it’s imperative for your own sake as well as others that you know that a man who has not only repeatedly reinforced his lack of interest in women on multiple occasions, but rejected the advances of the specific woman in question on multiple occasions being forced to tell said woman that he loves her so that she is not literally murdered on the spot by a supposed bomb in her household isn’t only not a love confession but it’s not healthy. Coming to a conclusion like this really only requires basic common sense.
Don’t tell me what to do, I’m going to do it anyway.
1. We have no idea what’s going on. Like, ever. Not even one time.
2. We’re damn good at making you think that we know what’s going on, and that it was our plan all along.
3. We’re so frickin loyal it’s not even funny. We play it off like we don’t care about anyone, but we would legit do absolutely ANYTHING for those we care about.
4. If we’re trying to be extra funny, you know something’s up. We’re most likely covering up our emotions with a good ole unhealthy dose of sarcasm and depreciating humor.
5. Our secrets have secrets. We may seem like open books, but believe me. There’s sooo much more going on under the surface.
6. We absolutely need time for ourselves to think. We’re the kind of extroverts that you may have to drag to a party, but we’ll be the life of the party when we get there.
7. We. Need. Attention. For everything we do. Even though we give off this sort of “I don’t care what you think” vibe, we need constant validation, even just someone saying “oh cool”. We thrive to impress people, no matter how hard to believe that is.
8. We feel stress just the same as any other type. We just choose to bury it deep deep down where no one can see it, and let it blow up in our faces later.
9. I didn’t talk enough about validation. We have this hunger to do something and to be someone. We need to make a difference, somehow, somewhere.
10. We hate it when people have us figured out. We hate it even more when people only think that they have us figured out, but they’ve got us all wrong.
11. We hate to be ignored. Like, seriously. If we ask you for something, which is something we very rarely do, we expect you to take the time to listen to us.
12. We are the most caring assholes you’ll ever meet. We love to make people happy, but we’ll grumble about it the whole time.
13. We hate being overestimated. Underestimate us, please. We get strength from being the underdog. If we feel like you’re putting too much on us, we’ll just give up because we don’t see that it’s worth it to fail.
14. Challenge us. For the love of God, give us something to argue about. Complacency is a danger to us ENTPs, and it can lead us to very bad habits. We need someone or something that’ll spark our interest, or we’ll go insane.
15. We’re really full of mushy gushy stuff on the inside. No one’s supposed to know that.
16. We feel overwhelmed a lot, and when we do, you need to give us space to sort things out. Like, two minutes. Please.
17. We lie. Constantly. About everything. Watch your back.
18. We deserve respect. With everything that we do for the people around us, we deserve at least a little bit.
Ok, rant over. Sorry for exposing us for what we really are. Ciao
1. If you’re using a photo of someone else, make sure that you have their permission to share the image and you properly credit them. Know & post their name! Don’t crop out their face and don’t make the image focus solely on a sexualized aspect of their body, like their sports bra or butt in booty shorts! And if possible, make it an action shot, so that we’re admiring their talent and skills instead of just their body. Treat this person like a person and not like an object that exists solely to motivate you.
2. Slogans should be uplifting and positive for everyone: Don’t use a slogan that builds you up while putting others down. Stuff like “No excuses” or “You’re lapping everyone on the couch” are just subtle ways of implying that other people are wrong for not choosing to exercise the way that you do. Avoid criticizing on someone else’s lifestyle altogether.
3. Working out should help you, not hurt you. Avoid the association between pain and exercise. You shouldn’t be puking during a workout! Or crawling! Or being in pain! Promote healthy and safe exercise models that actively discourage self-harm.
4. Stop associating health or fitness with a certain body shape. Not all thin people are “fit,” and not all fat people are unhealthy. The focus of good fitspo should not always be on weight loss. People don’t inherently have to lose weight in order to be happy and satisfied with themselves. So we need to stop assuming that a larger person is a beginner or hates their body, and stop assuming that thin or muscular people are healthy or skilled.
Always remember that actual people are going to be seeing this image. Not all of them will want to workout, and that’s okay. Your #fitspo should be positive and uplifting no matter who stumbles across it.
If your fitspo makes people feel guilty, upset, demeaned or devalued, then something is wrong.