Could you pls give advice An how to stop comparing your self to others in the aspect of looks and happiness ?
Comparison is a manifestation of the act of self-obsession. People assume being self-obsessed means you love yourself, it does not. It means you find any little thing about yourself and make it into a bigger deal than it really is. We’ve all done it. We’ve all made a big deal out of a small pimple that we know will eventually go, but we let it effect how we view ourselves. It’s crazy we give such things so much power. Eckhart Tolle helped me see such things are just an act of self-obsession. You point out every little thing, label it as a flaw and then give it this power that it really doesn’t have. We mistakenly think people are always looking at us, out of all people in the environment, we think all the attention is somehow directed at us. Which it never is because people are always thinking about themselves and how others are viewing them…
Comparison is built on nothing but illusion. We deceive ourselves into over idealising others and degrading ourselves for what reason? It really helps no one. No one benefits. The truth is no one is thinking about you, at least not in the way you think they are. Most people generally don’t care for anything that’s outside of themselves. Yes people care about their friends and family, but only because they see them as an extension of themselves… and anyone who focuses on other people in such a manner are really just trying to distract themselves from their own down falls.
We love our pain. It belongs to us, it’s our pain, it’s my pain. We hold on to it like a comfort blanket. We do anything to keep it alive within ourselves. It’s a collective problem within the human consciousness, we’re unconsciously taught that this is normal behaviour. It’s not. It’s not normal to complain about everything and anything. It’s not okay to constantly criticise ourselves and others. It’s not healthy to victimise ourselves. It’s not okay to abuse ourselves by lack of self-care and love. But we do it because it keeps the pain alive within us, we feed it this way. We need to become aware of what we are doing in every moment. It’s true that a lot of people are addicted to unhappiness. As in they psychologically produce chemicals that the body becomes addicted too. So with anything you can’t easily cut out of your life, you have to realise it’s an addiction. You’re addicted to the feeling or more so the chemicals that are produced when you compare yourselves to others.
You were trained by society to do this.
Now you need to train yourself to think more healthily. Stop indulging in such negative energy, we cannot afford the luxury of negative thoughts if you want to live a healthy and happy life. It all starts with the awareness and willingness to change the way you think.