unhappy addict

anonymous asked:

Could you pls give advice An how to stop comparing your self to others in the aspect of looks and happiness ?

Comparison is a manifestation of the act of self-obsession. People assume being self-obsessed means you love yourself, it does not. It means you find any little thing about yourself and make it into a bigger deal than it really is. We’ve all done it. We’ve all made a big deal out of a small pimple that we know will eventually go, but we let it effect how we view ourselves. It’s crazy we give such things so much power. Eckhart Tolle helped me see such things are just an act of self-obsession. You point out every little thing, label it as a flaw and then give it this power that it really doesn’t have. We mistakenly think people are always looking at us, out of all people in the environment, we think all the attention is somehow directed at us. Which it never is because people are always thinking about themselves and how others are viewing them…

Comparison is built on nothing but illusion. We deceive ourselves into over idealising others and degrading ourselves for what reason? It really helps no one. No one benefits. The truth is no one is thinking about you, at least not in the way you think they are. Most people generally don’t care for anything that’s outside of themselves. Yes people care about their friends and family, but only because they see them as an extension of themselves… and anyone who focuses on other people in such a manner are really just trying to distract themselves from their own down falls.

We love our pain. It belongs to us, it’s our pain, it’s my pain. We hold on to it like a comfort blanket. We do anything to keep it alive within ourselves. It’s a collective problem within the human consciousness, we’re unconsciously taught that this is normal behaviour. It’s not. It’s not normal to complain about everything and anything. It’s not okay to constantly criticise ourselves and others. It’s not healthy to victimise ourselves. It’s not okay to abuse ourselves by lack of self-care and love. But we do it because it keeps the pain alive within us, we feed it this way. We need to become aware of what we are doing in every moment. It’s true that a lot of people are addicted to unhappiness. As in they psychologically produce chemicals that the body becomes addicted too. So with anything you can’t easily cut out of your life, you have to realise it’s an addiction. You’re addicted to the feeling or more so the chemicals that are produced when you compare yourselves to others.

You were trained by society to do this.
Now you need to train yourself to think more healthily. Stop indulging in such negative energy, we cannot afford the luxury of negative thoughts if you want to live a healthy and happy life. It all starts with the awareness and willingness to change the way you think.

anonymous asked:

how to get over a ex you truly loved 😔💔

Chances are you never loved them, your mind did. The mind (ego) tends to add an element of fiction to things, especially relationships, to give it more meaning then it actually does. That’s the truth, this is coming from Logic. I never at first quite understood this concept, I thought “why would the mind bother to do that” then I recently learnt in the book I’m currently reading “Don’t let anything dull your sparkle” (written by a psychologist), the mind does because of trauma.

When someone experiences trauma in their lives such as, a sudden death, abuse emotional & physical (experiencing & witnessing), divorce, neglect, major illness, your life being threatened, an accident, difficulty giving birth, financial difficulties, bullying and painful teasing, riots and public disturbances, war, losing all faith in God, Losing your home, becoming a victim, a natural disaster, the list goes on. Everyone has experienced trauma in their lives whether it was first hand or secondary (watching the news & films), the more trauma you have experienced in your life, the more hypervigilant you become in scanning the horizon for danger, this is the cause of anxiety, your constantly waiting for the next trauma to occur. Your chronic anxiety wears on your nervous and immune system, and reduces your happiness. By expecting the worst you may consciously attract or even create it. 

This is where the addiction to drama comes in, people become addicted to unhappiness, depression, anxiety, being the victim, abuse, violence, meaningless things like reality TV and obsessing over other people’s lives, bad and unauthentic relationships (which is what you’re experiencing). Studies show that the body can adjust to it’s environment so that once-uncomfortable and dramatic situations become thrilling and pleasurable. “Just as with drug addictions, we start to crave the activity and experience withdrawal when it’s not available. In the long run people become more preoccupied with the pain withdrawal than the activity itself”. So basically you’re not missing the person, your missing the energy that person brings, you miss the drama and pain. 

There is a lot more to this then I can explain right now, if you want you can read “Don’t let anything dull your sparkle” that will give you everything you need to know. Simply this is all to do with your brain & body chemicals which make you crave such energy all due to your life experience and early childhood. If you think that you’ve had a life filled with lots of drama and have experienced trauma, then you should definitely read “You can heal your life” which also talks about how to get over a relationship. You need to change your body and brain chemistry by actively becoming more positive.

If that wasn’t the answer you wanted, you wanted something a long the lines of “awwww it’ll be okay, he still loves you, he doesn’t know what he’s missing, you’ll find someone better, love hurts I know but that’s just life” then your ego is looking for a pity party so it can play the victim and that means you came to the wrong person. I’m all about self love and empowering, I will not encourage the victim role like I see most people do because I know how the universe works and playing a victim is only going to attract more abuse to you. I want you to be the strong, beautiful, individual you are, that is capable of anything, who is more divine then any words, by being honest is the only way I can encourage that. So what you need to do is work on loving yourself and loving life as it is now, as hard as that may seem, that’s what you must do in order to live a life of happiness, joy and abundance. 

I suggest the books that  you read are: Don’t let anything Dull your sparkle, Light is the new black & You can heal your life. Once you’ve read those you’ll be good as new and ready to live the life you deserve which is nothing but pure love 💕💕💕💕💕 God & the universe love you so love yourself 💕💕💕💕💕

souled-ouut  asked:

Do you know how I can stop comparing myself to pretty ig girls ?😭🤔😩

My Love, the answers is  in your own question…stop going on Instagram. Sounds pretty simple and it is for most people, I only go on instagram every 3days for 2minutes if that and it has no affect on my life or the way I perceive reality. 

It’s clear that people have an addiction to social-media, more correctly and addiction to the way it’s making them feel. So how does instagram make you feel? Insecure, unhappy, maybe unworthy? Your addicted to those emotions, more so the chemicals those emotions release. It’s very simple actually, psychology explains when people experience trauma in their life; and everyone’s perception of trauma is different depending on how they were programmed by their parents. Science explains it as a scale of 1-10, what might feel like a 7 to someone on the trauma scale may feel like a 2 to someone else, so bare that in mind. That’s why people say “omg you over reacting” or “it’s not that serious” no for them it isn’t serious but for that person displaying those emotions it is very real for them in their perception of reality, but that’s a whole another topic I wont get into now. What I’m trying to say is, I personally can’t say I’ve experienced what you feel and I know people who read this will be like…”I go on instagram and it doesn’t have an affect on me” but that doesn’t mean what you feel isn’t important or valid, those feelings are valid and are very real for you. 

Psychology explains that when someone has experienced trauma in their life, when fear is programmed into them by their parents, environment and society; they start to over release Histamine, Adrenaline and Cortisol so it becomes poisonous to the body’s system (which then causes depression, stress and anxiety), so the mind has to become addicted to those chemicals in order for the body to survive. So now they have a an addiction to these over reactive chemicals, like an addiction to drugs, they become addicted to unhappiness, to drama, to fear. What happens is they start to attract things that release these energies like bad relationships, negative situations, arguments, anything that vibrates at a low degree as their mind  is vibrating at a lower degree therefore attracting lower degree things to it, because as you know; like attracts like. Things that release these negative chemicals in the body: Scary films or Reality TV, The News, a poor diet, lack of exercise, sugar, caffeine, negative people, lack of peacefulness, lack of sunlight, lack of sleep etc. 

I know you were probably expecting a superficial, unhelpful answer, but I know from studying psychology and reading many books, I know that the problems is always rooted far deeper then what’s on the surface. This comparing thing is only a reaction to the behavioural patterns that are already within you, these girls or instagram aren’t to blame for people feeling this way, it’s just another way for the human ego to find an excuse, a reason to blame these emotions on someone/something else instead of dealing with the real problem. And I don’t blame it because facing what is called the ‘shadow self’ (subconscious) is hard and it takes a lot of strength to do that, but let me tell you something; once you face that part of you that you’ve hidden from for so long, when you come face to face with it, confront, heal and forgive it, miracles will happen and trust in my word when I say your life will never be the same again. 

Books I recommend you to read: Don’t let anything dull your sparkle (psychology book, but written simply), You can heal your life, The Power of Now. I suggest you watch Teal Swan and Doreen Virtue on youtube if you want to overcome these issues with guidance, also Doreen Virtue has many quick meditations for confidence and healing/forgiving they’re very effective and free✨❤️

Unsettled - Part 5

More from the fic that, as the title itself suggests, leaves me feeling less than stellar.

Part One: Betrayed     Part Two: Battle Lines     Part Three: Barricaded     Part Four: Bare
And now:

Unsettled - Part Five: Brittle

Keep reading

The pain-body is my term for the accumulation of old emotional pain that almost all people carry in their energy field. I see it as a semi-autonomous psychic entity. It consists of negative emotions that were not faced, accepted, and then let go in the moment they arose. These negative emotions leave a residue of emotional pain, which is stored in the cells of the body. There is also a collective human pain-body containing the pain suffered by countless human beings throughout history. The pain-body has a dormant stage and an active stage. Periodically it becomes activated, and when it does, it seeks more suffering to feed on. If you are not absolutely present, it takes over your mind and feeds on negative thinking as well as negative experiences such as drama in relationships. This is how it has been perpetuating itself throughout human history. Another way of describing the pain-body is this: the addiction to unhappiness.
—  Eckhart Tolle