I was tagged by himandancafefan4life *- * (ty hunn! <3)
1- What us your lifelong dream?
Well that’s hard actually, I have no dreams at all but well I guess I could say I have the dream of going to Japan. Since I was 10 I always admired the harajuku district and I’ve actually cried about the fact that probably I’ll never make it to there but still that and well… going to a concert while being there (hopefully An Cafe).
2. What do you think about when you’re alone late at night?
I think a lot at night and because of that I can’t really get to sleep (last month till now) and if I do sleep I end up having nightmares so yeah, imagine the kind of things I think of. Most of all I think about how lonely I have become, how my friends have left me and how I hate being so shy and miss being an open person. Then I think about special moments that ended up bad and finally, differently than most of the people, I don’t imagine my perfect life I actually imagine the next day being with people and which would be the worst things that could happen to me like idk my friends talking bad things of me or they telling me that they can’t stand me. So yes… night is pretty sentimental.
3. Who is one person you would give anything to be with? Why?
Hmm… Miku from An Cafe probably (actually when I don’t want to do something & I have to I imagine it’s a contest for being with Miku, so I end up doing it anyways lol) & because he means everything to me, even when he doesn’t know me he had helped me a lot, he makes me happy and I feel like we both are those kinds of person that have the ability to be very happy but in the inside there’s always this “something” that won’t let you be 100% fine with yourself, I’ve always felt like Miku is similar to me, like he gets me and I could help him to be better and he could help me to smile again. (Sentiments all over this post, sorry)
But if it is like… personal, I would do anything for an ex girlfriend I once had. I truly screwed up with her and is not like I love her or anything but she made me more sociable and I’d always be laughing and happy, that’s the total opposite of me right now… so yes.
4. If you could live in any other time what time would it be? Why?
I enjoyed the 90’s as a child and I’ve always wondered how would it had been if I was a teen in those times (specially because in my country the 80’s-90’s where THE years) but still I would like to live in the 80’s because the revolution feeling, the music, the style, the mutual “family” feeling between the people around my age (again, at least in my country xD.)
5. What are two other languages you’d love to know and speak?
I already know English and Spanish at a level that I can speak to an anglo speaking person with no bigger problems. I would love to speak Japanese and I already understand a little (no, I don’t mean like oh! He said kokoro he’s talking about he’s heart omg he’s so cute, no, like really understand shit…) And if I had to choose another… well I’d say latin but next year I will start learning a little bit of it so that doesn’t count. Mm, probably Chinese or Indi because it’s more useful (also difficult).
6. What is your favorite band and why are they your favorite?
Ok, some people don’t like it because they say it’s like “poser” to like this band just because it’s popular. I like An Cafe and I’m a fucking proud cafekko, I’d found other good Japanese bands like them? Hm, yeah but still An Cafe is the most original I’ve found (they think a lot about the stage performing, making it fun, creative, crazy and unique) and why, because 1- they’re Japanese and my favourite music style is j-music. 2- Because they’re the first Japanese band I ever listened and since I knew An Cafe I started finding all about Japanese music, j-rock, j-pop, visual kei and all the other Japanese styles and fashion. They started everything and this music, this culture, all of this is really the only thing that makes me feel less empty. Another important reason is that I found them in a stage of my life where I was feeling that everything around me was losing its colour, I hated everyone, I acted very aggressive and I got angry because nobody cared or asked about how I was feeling, then one of the closest person to me died and there so I collapsed, I got depression I had panic attacks because on the day I wanted to die, I wanted to left the fucking world and at night I realized, “dying is painful, I can die in this right moment, if I keep thinking about death something will happen, omg what if I close my eyes, go sleep and never wake up again!?, etc, etc” I had lots of friends in that time but that didn’t make me feel happier, I was like this when a friend of mine went “oshare kei” and showed me the Escapism pv, I saw Miku there lying al depressed and read the “Miku in the dark” thing, I felt like that song wanted to tell something to me, I searched at home the Spanish lyrics and I just couldn’t believe how powerful it was (at least in that moment) and since then every single song I found of them would make me smile, would make me laugh (nyappy in the world, duck no magical adventure, super rabbit) songs that made me laugh because of the stupid and super ranger’s sound effects but still had a lyric that wanted to cheer me up, to let me know I wasn’t the only one that felt that way. They made me nyappy.
(I know I wrote a lot but I love telling this story, I usually just answer “because they make me happy and they saved my life”, but this is the story behind that two phrases.)
7. Tell me one song that you feel fully explains how you’re feeling right now. (You can post a link to a video or just post lyrics.)
Well, there are a lot of vocaloid songs that get me so I will just make a short list of them. (no special order)
1-Tokyo Teddy Bear (usually my mind is like when being at school)
8. What has been the best day of your life so far? Why?
Not sure if I have one yet. Srsly I can’t think of one. Maybe the day I finally met a person I’d met on the internet, he travelled to my town and after 4 or 5 years we finally were face to face, it was touching, but even when it was a great day it wasn’t the best of my life. Maybe also now that I’m in Argentina with my older sister, we’ve talked a lot of personal shit, she lets me do the stuff I want, I learnt Flamenco, Tango & a little bit of bulleria, I went to the mirror’s room of 3 seasons of family therapy as a guest and I actually was consulted by the psychologists on my opinion of the case, they fricking thought I was a psychologist as them xDD!, we went to a jazz bar which was amazing, we could take the instruments and improvise with other people, I’ve been able to be by myself a little since I travelled by my own but at the same time I’ve spend lot of time with my sister which I don’t see very much at the year, also found my Celtic cross necklace after 2 years and I’m buying lots of clothes and creepers. I’ve visited so many amazing places and it has only been here since Sunday so I still have two more weeks.
9. Who is your idol and why do you idolize them?
Miku for the reasons I’ve already say and because by watching the videos he makes with the other guys and how he’s so sentimental but keeps making his best… I wish I could be as optimistic as him and also such a funny, fashionable person.
Miyavi because he doesn’t give a fuck about what people say or think about him, I respect him so much for that and also I’ve always wished to have the style and the body type of him (even when I’m a girl… dangit)
And for the emotional part my older brother, he’s the kind of guy you see at tv shows, he’s good looking, funny, creative, has a good job, was the best at the studying, he hasn’t even finished the university and he’s earning more than my father lol, he’s a very healthy and sporty person, he’s emotionally stable, he’s always trying new stuff and he’s always good at everything -_-U xD Not even kidding, he plays guitar, charango, bass and sings, makes skating, snow-boarding, surfing, goes running every morning and goes to the gym every night, does break-dancing, he loves cooking and heck he’s good at it… also girls are always hitting on him but he doesn’t give a damn because he enjoys being single. I like how he can enjoy life that way without worrying about the details that at least make me nervous and ruin my day. I would like to be such a versatile person as him when I’m older.
10. If you could change one day of your past, what day would it be and why?
The day I decided to left my best friend alone at the shopping center just because I was with my (in that time) boyfriend which was really upset about we not being alone. I left her and went home with him and that’s basically how I lost my best friend, I loved her so much, I miss her I need her right now and I felt the shittiest person on earth in that moment, also because my ex boyfriend was an abuser, manipulator and things didn’t work out well. I lost so much because of him and I sincerely regret every single day of that relationship, I’ve become shy and introverted because of that relationship, I’m more insecure now, I lost interest in any kind of relationship because of the exhausting experience and lost more than 5 friends because of his jealousy, wish I never met him.
11. Tell me your happiest memory in life and what makes it special to you.
Any day of 2010 where I was with my (again, in that times) best friend, we were such crazy people and there were no a single day at school where I wouldn’t be laughing to tears. We went out every day of the week, we liked to meet new people so every day when we went out we talked to a stranger that looked nice and we made a new friend, it was awesome, she usually came to have lunch at my place and then at nights I would go to hers for having dinner, we were like family, in fact, her family sometimes invited me to family travels and we always had lots of fun. Even when at that year I was diagnosed with a lot of shitty stuff I always felt better by her side and probably I’ll never find another friend like her.
My 11 questions:
1. If you could live in any other part of the world, where would it be and why.
2. What kind of people do you usually get along with?
3. Familly, friends, internet friends, a couple, a mentor. Order this from most to least important and explain why you chose that order.
4. What’s your favorite band and why is it your favorite?
5. If you could have any characteristics (psychological or physical) you want, which would be the 3 most important?
6. If you didn’t have to work/study for living, what would you like to do for the rest of your life?
7. Who is the person you think helped the most to define yourself as you’re now? Why?
8. If you had to choose a song for “background” of your life, which would it be? Why did you chose it?
9. In scale from 1 to I’m actually answering this questions because I have nothing better to do, how addicted to Tumblr?
10. Is there anything that had make you feel proud or extremely happy? What is it?
11. If you where famous, for what would you like to be known? (Musician, artist, actor, etc)How would you interact with your fans? (Don’t tell me you haven’t think about it)