so it came up today and while i would like to pretend it never existed, i feel i should share with the world the story of the film i shot in fifth grade
first of all, the entire thing was shot in my parents’ basement and we did not try to hide that fact. didn’t even put up a sheet, just filmed as-is, including the giant eye-searingly yellow beanbag chair that ended up in every shot (like, conspicuously in every shot. like, it got tripped over in just about every shot.)
second, i can’t say for certain what /exactly/ it was about, i don’t really remember, but from what i do recall:
-my baby brother played a superhero called the blue turtleneck. wore a blue turtleneck, a bright orange trapper, and carried a rocket launcher (actually an antique telescope)
-spiderman was present and was played by a girl from down the road wearing flannel boxers over her head
-when it was revealed that spiderman was a woman, the camera panned back over the film crew, who shrugged and said it wasn’t a big deal, and then spiderman had a freestyle dance number set to britney spears’ toxic
-someone played a chicken? or a turkey? and the blue turtleneck tried to kill it and eat it? and the lawyer representing the chicken/turkey/whatever jumped in front of the rocket and died and the turkey thing walked away and was never seen again
-the lawyer came back from the dead as a zombie and fell in love with spiderman and they had a dating montage, including playing racquetball and eating imaginary spaghetti together on the beanbag chair
-i believe the lawyer was female?
-the lawyer and spiderman had a misunderstanding but got together at the end to fight a giant monkey or something and when spiderman said “but lawyer guy, you don’t have any powers!” the lawyer guy said “but i know one thing the monkey doesn’t–i’m already dead” and then back in black played and the credits rolled as they fought the monkey together
tl;dr in fifth grade i made a superhero/romance comedy movie in my parents’ basement about a superhero that tried to eat a turkey and then spiderman and her corpse girlfriend fought crime together
WIP Game Rules: Go to page 7 of your WIP, count down 7 lines, share 7 sentences, and then tag 7 other writers.
So here’s a bit from the current chapter of Anabasis, some of which people have already seen the notes for. By a bizarre coincidence, that scene ended up on page 7, so here it is in it’s final form.
(Also, I’m doing a little more than 7 lines because it doesn’t make sense otherwise. The actual seven lines start about half-way down.)
Obi-Wan frowned, but it was Anakin who answered. “Someone
offered Boba Fett one million credits to kill you,” he said. “Which is
ridiculous. He should have charged at least three million.”
Padmé could only shake her head. She knew him well enough to
know that was his idea of a compliment. She also knew it was sincerely meant,
which really only made it worse. It was probably best to just ignore it.
“Oh?” said Obi-Wan. He sounded caught somewhere between
annoyance and a morbid curiosity. “And how much are you worth, then?”
Padmé watched Anakin open his mouth to answer, and then
close it again. Something old and sharp-edged appeared in his eyes, glinting
like the stroke of a knife.
“Fifteen thousand Republic credits, roughly,” he said. There
was no inflection at all in his voice. “I know it seems like a lot, but I’m a
good mechanic, so that makes me more valuable.”