BTS REACTION: You Hating When Anybody Takes a Picture of You
Rap Monster: He honestly didn’t understand why you hated having your picture taken. He thought you were absolutely stunning and he was always sad when you didn’t let him take pictures of you.
“But Y/N I’m going to be on tour for the next couple months! Please let me take on picture of you to look at every night…”
Jin: As sad as it made him when you declined taking a selfie with him, he still managed to put a positive (if not slightly snarky) spin on things.
“It’s fine. I’m beautiful enough for the both of us.”
Suga: He would understand that you didn’t like taking selfies, but not taking a picture with him???? If you didn’t take picture with him he couldn’t brag about how hot you were to his bandmates and he simply couldn’t stand that.
“Just one. Please. Please. Honestly, why are you so stubborn Y/N!?”
J-Hope: He would immediately begin to bribe you. He’d tell you that if you picked an ace out of the deck of cards, he’d leave you alone. However, if you didn’t, you had to take at least one selfie with him so that he could make it his phone background.
“Any ace at all…”
Jimin: He would honestly not understand why you didn’t enjoy having your picture taken. You were so beautiful???? You looked good from every angle???? He didn’t have enough pictures of you????? Those should all be valid reasons, he thought.
“Honestly, you confuse me Y/N…aish…”
Taehyung (V): He didn’t mind that you didn’t like others taking photos of you, but when you told him it was because all of the photos were very unflattering, he was beyond surprised.
“I will show you unflattering, Y/N.”
(he’s too cute oh my god)
Jungkook: He gave you The Look. The one where he he turns and glares with his mouth slightly open. Yeah, that one. He could not understand why you didn’t think you were beautiful. Besides, he was mad he didn’t have any pictures of you to use as his background on his phone.
“I will literally photoshop a school yearbook photo into one of my selfies I’m not even remotely joking.”
Interviewer: 3 years of complete silence and now 2 interviews in 2 weeks…
Rachel: For the record, I want it to be perfectly clear that it was not my idea to give this second interview so soon after the first one. I do not need to remind anyone, that I am a shy and private person, who strongly dislikes the spotlight and abhors self-promotion. You can’t even begin to imagine, how difficult it is for someone like me to come forward and be the center of attention again but I was strongly persuaded to do it.
Int: You were? By whom?
Ophie: I will name no names. It is sufficient to say that I received an angry and extremely menacing phone call from a well-known American film producer and film studio executive (he and his brother have been co-chairmen of their own production company, since 2005) you can call him Mr. W. Mr. W. shouted at me over the phone that in my previous interview I came off as “a self-important snob boasting of her refined tastes and worldliness through language” . I strongly disagree but he was most persistent, that I should retract the statements I made in my previous interview and clean my image.
Int: What was your immediate reaction to his phone call?
Ophie: The avant-garde artist in me immediately saw the potential opera and theatrical narrative of the individual in that phone call and created a moodboard which included the images of the 1781 oil painting “The Nightmare” by the Anglo- Swiss artist Henry Fuseli, and the bloody horse-head scene from the 1972 American crime film “The Godfather” directed by Francis Ford Coppola (based on Mario Puzo’s best-selling novel with the same name). The whole concept of a ‘mafia theatrical opera’ came to me as a vision and inspired what will be a wonderful work for the operatic stage. I will be seeking to develop a new kind of theatrical event reflecting and profoundly questioning the actualities of my way of looking at the world.
Int: Some people also accused you of being pretentious. Do you think there was some truth in those claims?
Rachel: Pretentious, moi? Don’t be ridiculous. Conflating “foreign”, “artistic”, “intelectual” with “pretence” as you do in the working classes is disquietingly parochial.
Int: Do you care to elaborate on that?
Rachel: People are always suspicious of the unconventional. Experimental literature, avant-garde performances, modernist art, or fashion design are only pretentious for you low and middle classes! I have never pursued these interests out of affectation! I have an art school degree and decades of experience as an Actress/Opera Director/Playwriter/Avant-Garde Artist/Model-Fashionista/Producer extraordinaire working in the field of Contemporary Art/Indie and Mainstream Cinema/Experimental Theater/Fashion/Opera, so you could say I’ve spent a life embedded in pretension. But you would be wrong.
Int: How is that?
Rachel: I am just one of the crowd really! I get on with my staff (when they do their jobs properly). My sense of sense of humour is very appreciated (amongst people who I have on payroll). I smile a lot and even genuinely (for the paparazzi). I have friends who can vouch just how my salt-of-the-earth credentials are. I am a very likable and emphatic person who is also involved in Charities.
Int: What Charities?
Rachel: I do not like to brag but I am most commited to help people to fulfill their hopes and dreams. Particularly my close relatives and friends because as mother says ‘Charity begins at home’. Naturally, I understand the overriding demands of taking care of one’s family, before caring for others and I have dozens of close relatives, and friends - each one with his/her own ambitions, dreams- and as God is my witness, I will not rest until Bob helps each and everyone of them to find their way, their ambition and their success in this world!
Int: What were the other reactions to your first interview?
Ophie: As soon as the interview was out I received hundreds of notifications on my phone. Naturally I assumed that the interview had gone viral and I was receiving congratulations and accolades, instead you can imagine my surprise when all I got was worried and stressed messages from my interns reporting to me that I was receiving all sorts of negative reactions on social media. Among other surprising and unfair things, people were accusing me, ME of being a Diva that was putting on airs and graces.
Inter: How did you react to those accusations?
Ophie: I was very upset, obviously! I’ve never done one diva-ish thing in my life. Not a single one! I had a temper-tantrum, then calmed down, collected myself, flipped my hair and proceeded in firing all the members of my in-house staff- who were responsible for managing my online reputation and I left the stage, I mean the meeting room!
Int: You fired everybody? Wasn’t that a bit extreme?
Rachel: No it really wasn’t. My intern’s job’s descriptions were perfectly clear since day one: manage my name domain online, establish a clear, fleshed-out presence on multiple social networking sites, post to each of them at least once a week, blurr my husband’s face in all the photos where I, a celebrity in my own right, was endorsing high profile brands and products such as designer shoes and jewelry, fashion clothes and accessories- while simultaneously tagging his name in order to lure in his fandom, and most importantly keep monitoring the web (particularly the hateful so-called “Skeptics” blogs) for any unflattering photos or mentions of me. If they did find something negative or unflattering, they had clear orders to do everything in their power to bury them with positive content. They failed on all accounts.
Int: What happened next?
Ophie: My Media Team Management which included my Reputation Manager, my Press representative, my Public relations publicist, my Special publicity consultant, my Unit publicist and my Media Agent resigned in block allegedly because they were “extremely frustrated with me and particularly my perceived interference in the team’s affairs”. The truth was that they promised to make my preferred online profile float to the top of search results in order to boost my personal or corporate brand and instead due to their collective incompetence they failed to achieve my stated target of securing me a place in the Top Celebrities League.
Int: Did you feel people misunderstood you?
Rachel: Yes of course. I want people to understand- because Mr. W. was most insistent about this specific point- that I care hugely about my role. I care hugely about Bob. I care hugely about SM. I think Sunny March is a fantastic organisation full of people who just want to make a difference. I want people to know that I want to be a tool to Bob, SM and Mr. W- if they really enable me and my people to make a real difference in Bob’s career. I want Mr. W to know that I am extremly commited to help him on this long-term agenda, because I think that this is the opportunity of a life time, and I think I’ll probably look back over the last three years and say, that we helped each other a lot.
Int: Do you intend to give any more interviews in future?
WHM: In the immortal words of mother: Watch this space! You never know.
Int: Thank you Ophie!
Ophie: That’s Mrs. Cumberbatch for you! C-U-M-B-E-R-B-A-T-C-H
Anna: After reading the above submission, I feel the need to be very clear:
This is not a real interview by Sophie Hunter. I repeat. NOT a real interview.
I just feel it’s imperative I make the distinction, because the snarky Anon who’s getting these imaginary exclusives has managed to capture Weirdo’s spirit so well, I half expect excerpts from it to end up on SHC as quotes. Having said that, the interns who run SHC haven’t posted anything since the 4th of March, so perhaps I don’t need to be as vigilant…
For when you can’t seem to take a pretty picture...
What you see when you look at a photo of yourself is not who you are.
When you look at a photo of yourself, don’t let yourself suddenly forget who you are. Try not to focus in on the physical features captured in that second, at that angle, in that lighting. You exist outside that moment in time.
When others see you, they don’t see a single second, at a specific angle, in a certain lighting. They see the dancing, laughing, talking you; the crying, painting, singing you; the sleeping, smiling, jumping you–the you they know.
You’re not a still photograph. You are life.
When someone says, “That’s not a bad photograph,” it’s not because they think an unflattering photograph is a fair representation of you; it’s because they look past the frozen details into a moment in time. They image the you they know, and the you they know is beautiful. A picture can capture a moment, but a picture cannot capture who you are.