unfilered

An Unfillable Hole || Riley + Danny|| Private

It was odd. Never in his life, had he ever felt the need to have random sex. Well- not that he could actually recall-  Not that his body would actually allow him to remember.. But, he’d never had sex, sex for the sake of fucking- sex because he was angry, or because he was hurting.. Daniel Reid had never had sex with random people he had no intentions of dating, or being serious with.. In fact, the whole reason he was so upset at the moment, was because the boyfriend whom had dumped him for lack of “ seriousness and maturity “ - was now..seeing yet another person..

Perhaps he wasn’t over him. But it had been so many years between then and now, not that he could truly remember them.. It made him feel insane.. It drug up old feelings that he had been trying to shove down.. but for Danny- it was like it was only yesterday.. Mostly because he’d lost several years of his life, to a little thing that doctors liked to call.. self preservation.. It wasn’t the first time- and Daniel was quite afraid, it wouldn’t be the last.. 

He sat tucked back in the corner of his bed, chewing on his thumbnail as he mouthed words to himself.. A fake conversation he was having with a hypothetical Beau.. 

He was meant to be waiting for Riley to arrive.. meant to be getting ready- but the deeper he fell into his own mind, the more his eyes glazed over.. Why. Why did Beau have to do that? Why did he have to dump him? Why did he have to ..have to project his feelings on him? He was mature. He was really fucking mature- in fact, had Beau asked him, he would have told him he wanted to marry him on the spot.. Why had he just left him? Did he not love him ?? Was there something he did?

He had so..so many unanswered questions- and the only thing that seemed liek a plausible answer.. was sex.. Rough.. unbelievably angry.. sex.. And Riley was capable of that.. The topic of Riley- drew him back to reality, for what it was for him- at that moment, and Daniel shoved to his feet, padding around the dorm room, gathering a few things and setting it up so that when Riley came about, he’d be ready.. And afterwards, he settled back in bed, returning back to chewing his thumbnail in the corner of his bed, tucked beneath his blankets..

Nova-Cain (Revised)

A mouth on its own
With nowhere to go to
Or be from
Or keep its hunger in
Takes up more space than one body can bear to give.

There’s a starvation quivering on the lips,
An unfillable ache that can’t be soothed from the molars,
And it all comes to you like starlight-
Something so far away and so enormous
But looking so small and so vastly untouchable in one cold gleam of distance.

You are left with a black hole bursting behind your gums,
Demanding compensation for tin woes that don’t have bottoms.

A snake bites its tail at your feet,
And makes a miniature infinity out of its thrashing ribs in the grass.
It lasts a half-second before the scaled line uncurls itself from pain.

Rumbles of understanding break like clouds over your neurons,
That’s it,
What you have,
Some tiny infinity dangling in your throat-
Swallowing what you swallow
And making a zero,
Like the shape of the snake when it bit down on itself,
Out of everything that you are.

This is why you are not satiated when your stomach has reached capacity
And why the night looks like a french opera
Where your death is waiting to be sung at the end in vibrato.

For the life and death of you,
Everything you swallow will join your cells, 
Becoming you: the emotion,
And a brief unendingness will be made
Before you’ll have to stop biting down so hard
And allow the living to leave your teeth-

One drawn-out coil of ribs in the grass with a name. 


                             - C. Essington

  • goy:What do you mean we don't care about antisemitism??
  • goy:What about that time we saved your asses during the Holocaust? I mean, sure, we waited until the last possible moment to get involved and our motivations were more about ourselves than you
  • goy:and we also rejected countless refugees even though our quotas were unfilled... and okay, 66% of European Jewry and a third of world Jewry died in the end
  • goy:but I mean, who could have predicted that a party that openly stripped Jews of their citizenship by 1935 and stated that they would take further action later would actually start killing people???
  • goy:and we murdered a bunch of Jews who tried to return home and reclaim their property after they were liberated
  • goy:but by golly, we cared!
  • goy:that one time for about five minutes but not really
  • goy::D
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What happens when you send German correspondant Flula Borg to interview the cast of Scary Movie IV? Something slightly more terrifying than the actual movie. 

Yamagoku(8059) Prompt 1

The short fuse on Hayato always blew when he was at around the baseball idiot didn’t know why.

Look here Closely!!!!!!

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Little Boxes on the Hillside

I’ve been casually admiring some quaint little towns I wish I could live in. Any one of these houses nestled tightly amongst trees and other homes looks perfectly cozy for me. I associate drawings of buildings squashed together with the bustle of cities, so it’s unusual for me to be looking at these homes practically smothered with no room between them and yet feel the opposite of city life. It’s probably Samantha Dolan’s intricate details on the leaves doing the trick. Her patterns are obsessive and consume the image until there is nowhere left unfilled. Still, there’s something tranquil that comes from following the repetition of familiar shapes.

When I say “that could have used more Bucky” I don’t mean it like how I say TWS could have used more Bucky or guardians of the galaxy could have used more Bucky out of my necessity for more Bucky content.
I mean that movie had holes in exact Bucky shapes, to prepare you at least with an degree of hype for Civil War. And those spaces went unfilled. Like they didn’t even say his name when they were talking about him??? And the ending had perfect set up for something and it was just left hanging.

Gruvia Prompt 3

Highschool AU. Shy!Juvia always watched Gray from afar. One day Natsu dares Gray to go on a date with Juvia, so he ask her out and plans to break up with her but he ends up falling in love with her

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Tanoshiicon Alpha v. Beta Homestuck Panel Cast

Terezi: nepzy

Latula: xainagal

Karkat: the-duo-of-anime-love

Kankri: thesparkofrevolution

Vriska: UNFILLED

Aranea: hollyjollyturnabout

Feferi: aphdeadprussia

Meenah:  daddymasonjar

Aradia: ofquartzandmelody

Damara: guil-chan

Thank you to all who tried out, and congrats to our cast! Our panel time is on the Tanoshiicon schedule, and if you could report to the panel room 30 minutes or so before the panel, that would be great! Otherwise, that’s all the instruction I have for you guys, see ya soon~

For Vriska: The role of Vriska will now be given out first come first serve, please message me if you are interested!

For cast: Please message me with any questions pre-panel, and I’ll do my best to answer. The panel run itself is 60 minutes: 5 minutes seating, 10 minutes per group, 5 minutes exiting. Within the 10 minutes, the first two minutes are for each character to have a 60 second monologue about “why they are better” (essentially do a shortened form of your audition). The 8 minutes afterwards are taken to field questions from the audience.

Nova-cain

A mouth on its own
With nowhere to go to
Or be from
Or keep its hunger in
Takes up more space than one body can bear to give.

There’s a starvation quivering on the lips,
An unfillable ache that can’t be soothed from the molars,
And it all comes to you like starlight-
Something so far away and so enormous
But looking so small and so vastly untouchable in one cold gleam of distance.

You are left with a black hole bursting behind your gums,
Demanding compensation for tin woes that don’t have bottoms.

A snake bites its tail at your feet,
And makes a miniature infinity out of its thrashing ribs in the grass.
It lasts a half-second before the scaled line uncurls itself from pain.

Rumbles of understanding break like clouds over your neurons,
That’s it,
What you have,
Some tiny infinity dangling in your throat-
Swallowing what you swallow
And making a zero,
Like the shape of the snake when it bit down on itself,
Out of everything that you are.

This is why you are not satiated when your stomach has reached capacity
And why the night looks like a french opera 
Where your death is waiting to be sung at the end in vibrato.


                              - C. Essington

meditations on love:

I am not difficult to love. You just have to be willing to, and I just have to want you to. That is it. If one of these elements go unfilled, there is no love. Maybe just disappointment. Maybe just ache.

Vowing to no longer self-identify with poetic narratives that suggest I am “difficult” or “impossible” or “too much”. That everyone is undeserving. I think I am a gift to whoever gets so much as eye contact from me. And sometimes that’s all I need.

This is to say that I am exactly enough and that is all. There’s nothing about me that needs to be contained or diluted, and dropping this phrasing will allow me to feel safer to be myself and pay attention to those who appreciate all my layers.

I am not “difficult”. I am dynamic. And it’s okay if you do not want to love me or if you do not know how or if I cannot love you back. There is no fault in any of it, there is no flaw.

Fiolee Prompt 3

Marshal Lee suffers from genetic disease which prevents him from being out in the sun because it would surely kill him if he does. His parents fears for his life and keeps him isolated but what happens when he sneaks out one night and decides to get a little snack at the local drug store but ends up fighting last patch of sour patch kids with a blonde name Fiona.

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Untitled XL

this weekend
it got so cold
that I had to
burn
your clothes
sitting in the dresser
alone and unfilled
crying out
to be touched -
all of the dresses
went up in smoke
atomized by fire
keeping me warm
they drifted up the chimney
and after that
I neglected
to keep track -
I think
they may have gone
out to see
a place
you
certainly never took them
they must have been
curious
as to what it was like,
how the breeze felt
fluttering at hems,
nipping at straps,
shy and tensing
with the breath
of the sky.

I burned your clothes
knowing you’d be angry
if you ever cared
to find out
but I thought
you never might
and the fire -
was so bright
that if you’d seen it
there would have been
such a forgiving
that the crows
would have cackled
and flown off
to quieter skies.

I burned your clothes.

Let me give you some Ethics

God is simply an amoeba to fill any and all unfilled roles in a person’s life. I firmly believe that- and that’s perfectly acceptable to me. The concept of God (I’m not talking about consciousness here, but simply the idea of something above consciousness, e.g Jesus or Allah) has filled an ever shifting role in my life depending on my circumstances and needs at the time, and it’s been enormously valuable to me.
But why is it that for so many people and religions, the purpose of God in their lives is to replace positive motives for morality (social trust/harmony and inter and intra-harmonious psychological, emotional, sexual, physical, and spiritual realms), with negative ones (fear of Hell)?

A valid reason in past centuries was to centralize morality and ethics in a single body (God), the concept of which could be controlled and manipulated by an earthly governing body (Church, Ummah, etc..) A citizen’s personal sense of inner harmony is much more impractical and inefficient to control than say.. God’s will. You can say- don’t put up fences to lock out government dogs because God will force-feed you boiling water for trillions of years if you do. But you can’t say, don’t put up fences because if you do, you’ll feel less harmonious and you’ll sacrifice a little social trust.

So centralized ethics were a convenience for governing bodies. So what is the purpose of centralizing morality into religion in today’s increasingly secular world? How can religions continue to claim there is any value in feeding a concept of God as “law-enforcement” if you like, when responsibility for law-enforcment has been passed from religions to secular governments?
It’s actually inconvenient more than anything, because two systems of law-enforcement in the same jurisdiction is a recipe for internal warfare and/or a lot of jail time. Just picture a family whose religious code of ethics decrees that if someone has pre-marital sex with your daughter, you have to kill her to protect your family honor. That is an expression of morality in that religion. Unfortunately, the local government might have a slightly different code of ethics. So the two ethical systems create friction with each other, which isn’t very nice for anyone.

But aside from inconvenience, it just isn’t very enlightened. All valid ethical guidelines have a logical basis. By saying “I live a moral life out of fear of God”, you’re only weakening your ethical framework. Fear is not a strong enlightened basis for doing anything, even if it can be effective in the short term at achieving a particular end-result (e.g a compliant citizenry). But the journey is just as important as the end-result, and doing something out of a personal, decentralized motive is much more conducive to happiness and harmony. You wouldn’t say, “Don’t put a metal knife in the toaster or God will cast a black mark on your soul for all of eternity (I was told that FYI)” But you might say, “Don’t put a metal knife in the toaster or you’ll get electrocuted” One relates directly to you- one doesn’t.

But you might say the former to a small child, the same way you might say “or else!”. But then when they grow up a little more, they’ll require a better, more personal relevant reason. In the same way, I guess our religions are growing up as well, decentralizing to a greater and greater extent, until one day, one beautiful day, we not only won’t need religions to threaten us, we won’t need governments to either. All of ethics would be simply strategies for maximizing personal harmony and happiness, within ourselves, socially, and relative to the greater consciousness. Now if only the course of progress would just hurry up a little!

Okay. My planner has a whole week left unfilled. As much as i want to fathom everything I did, i forgot everything already. March 21-27 how great.

{Unfilled} [Rin/Sousuke/Makoto/Haru] Omegaverse, accidental heat knotting

“Rin and Sousuke are a couple. Haru and Makoto are also a couple. Rin and Haru are betas, Sousuke is an alpha, and Makoto is an omega.

When the four of them have a foursome, Rin and Haru want to watch Sousuke and Makoto get knotted together. They agree, and things are fun and pleasurable and awesome… until they realize that the knot has lasted for way too long. Normally a knot lasts for around five minutes, but when the omega is in heat his internal muscles tighten in a way that makes the alpha’s knot last much longer. Makoto had though he was at least a week or two away from heat, but it turns out that his cycle isn’t as regular as he thought it was. And a healthy alpha and omega knotting during heat means an almost 100 % chance of impregnation.

Ooops.

Take it from there, good anons!“

Gruvia Prompt 5

Gray tries to play matchmaker for Juvia and Lyon but ends up falling for her instead will his feelings get in the way of his best friends happiness.

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Police Lines

A shadow-scent, your musk,
lingers temporal across my synapses,
dusting the far folds of my lobes with shades of
unkempt promises, squatting amid the grey-matter of unforgivens and never-bes, a chalk outline of unfilled futures.

Hands covet wisps of your memory, but
scattered, you have, amid timelines of
others’ tomorrows, opening upon the darkness with sounding fury, swallowing sunsets
and pigeon-holed coffees in the sweaty back alleys of forgotten friendships.

You have gone out.

You have gone out.

You have gone out.

-Rocco Sementelli
sliversofmoons.tumblr.com

For Elle, our shadow. RIP