undoing feminism

As he stepped out of the pipe and jumped onto the grass, Mario wiped off the sh*t stains from the travel and noticed the calming breeze as he began his walk toward the Mushroom Kingdom. Like most days, he was forced to hammer down on some goombas, screw over a couple shyguys’ plans to dispose of him, and become intoxicated with pyrotechnics after ingesting some strange flowers he found inside a questionable box.

Once he got to the palace, Toad let him in as Mario wanted to see the pretty Princess Peach, but he was too late. She was nowhere to be found. It seems as though the dastardly Bowser already kidnapped her.

“What. The. F*ck?!”

This event happens more often than it should. Time after time, Mario often rescues Princess alone, sometimes with Luigi and sometimes with Yoshi, but the Mushroom Kingdom never responds appropriately. The Kingdom’s Army is a joke. They’re all little underlings with mushroom hats and no real skills except for one. The technology is outdated so security systems are nonexistent, and nobody even notices she’s missing sometimes.

“I’m just a f*cking plumber too!”

At the same time, the gold always remains, and nobody else gets kidnapped. Bowser and his minions never seem to take anything else.

As he thought about this, he said to Toad, “I’m tired of this. I’ll just relax and wait until tomorrow to get her. Bowser doesn’t even do anything to her when he kidnaps her except keep her in a cage or something. I’m tired of cleaning up your kingdom’s mess. She needs to stop letting herself be a victim.”

Immediately after he said this, the Princess, who had simply decided to shower in a different bathroom on the other side of the palace, came up from behind.

“EXCUSE ME? DOESN’T DO ANYTHING TO ME? RESCUE ME LATER?”

After smashing Mario in the face with a radish, she went on a tearful diatribe, sharing stories of Bowser’s sexual assaults on her, that “cage” of fetishes, and the revoltingly bizarre way that he makes her call him “Mr. Bowser” as he dons a human mask.

With angry tears, she yelled, “YOU NEED SENSITIVITY TRAINING, MARIO.”

She then talked about how her role as Princess has been meaningless. Her father makes all the decisions, and because nothing valuable ever gets stolen, nobody finds it worthwhile to invest in new methods of protecting her except adding another Toad clone to her front door.

“Everyone thinks it’s a joke that ‘the cute wittle pwincess gets captured by the scawy gween beast’, but it’s frightening. I’ve been traumatized. Do you think I want you to always have to rescue me, huh? DO YOU?!”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know…”

“It’s okay. I’ll never be anything more than a pretty face for this Kingdom.”

(Once I had a pretty girl, her name it doesn't matter.) Perfect Antifeminist Texts, Volume I.

Thanks to Cait for motivating/inspiring me to make this list, would y'all be interested in my zipping this for download? (Gotta transfer stuff from my old computer first.)

Study Questions: what does it mean to be an antifeminist text? What does it mean for a feminist to reject a text? What is feminist appropriation? Is Ben Weasel a better feminist than Rivers Cuomo? If a feminist criticizes Rihanna and no one cares to hear it, does it make a sound? What is “slut shaming”? What is “girl hate”? Whose bodies? Whose voice? Whose ears? What does it mean that these are, essentially, my favorite songs?

  1. Del Shannon - “Hats Off to Larry
    (shouts to the inventor of dude feelings & pop punk)
  2. blink-182 - “Dumpweed
  3. Britney Spears - “I’m a Slave 4 U
  4. Lady Gaga - “Boys Boys Boys
  5. The Max Levine Ensemble -“Leopard Print Girl
  6. Screeching Weasel - “Sunshine
    (shouts to the most sexist song ever recorded)
  7. One Direction - “What Makes You Beautiful
  8. TLC - “Silly Ho
  9. Kanye West ft. Jamie Foxx - “Gold Digger
  10. No Doubt - “Simple Kind of Life
  11. Weezer - “No One Else
    (shouts to the other most sexist song ever recorded)
  12. The White Stripes - “Ball and Biscuit
  13. The Crystals - “He Hit Me (And It Felt Like A Kiss)
  14. Rihanna - “S&M
  15. Nicki Minaj - “Stupid Hoe
  16. The Guess Who - “American Woman” (Live at the Paramount “American Slut” cut, from about 5:30-12:30)
  17. The Queers - “Ursula Finally Has Tits
  18. The Pussycat Dolls - “Don’t Cha
    (shouts to 2005-era feminist talking heads)
Hey feminists

If you are spending more time arguing with other feminists online than you are fighting actual gender oppression, you’re helping patriarchal culture, not hurting it. The point of feminism isn’t to “win” it online, it’s to change the world. Comment thread snarking isn’t changing the world.

Patriarchy loves nothing more than to see feminism turn into a girl fight or a SJW fight. Keep your focus on the mission, not your ego.

anonymous asked:

Can I ask what exactly is anti-feminist about Rihanna's S&M? Given that she's singing about a consensual sex act, why/how is it anti-feminist? Just curious.

nothing, that’s not what that mix was about. whose bodies? whose consent? whose feminism? whose “choice”? who was mad about it? how does it position her in relation to the miserable white feminists who wanted to criticize how she responded to trauma? (I could have used “Birthday Cake” or “Love the Way You Lie” or even Kanye’s “All of the Lights,” but S&M raises the same questions and happens to be my favorite Rihanna single.) whose sex-positivity? what’s objectification/sexualization? what’s kink visibility? why did white feminism try to usurp Rihanna into a dogmatic narrative one way or another?

in other words, how does that single challenge feminism or antifeminism to begin with? how are pop stars like Rihanna operating outside of feminism and making the best jokes about feminism? (see: Beyonce, “We Run the World,” “Why Don’t You Love Me,” etc.)

youtube

An introduction to the theory of intersectionality.

anonymous asked:

Can FlashLight be the "shittys" ship? Or does that not count, since technically it happened in the EQG world and not Equestria?

I genuinely dislike FlashLight for reasons that have nothing to do with character interaction and/or compatibility. His mere existence is basically an insult to Faust’s original intentions for the show, and, in my opinion, works to undo the pro-feminism messages she tried to promote in MLP.

But that’s a WHOLE ‘NOTHER RANT that I don’t feel like getting into right now.