understood it much better

c-jay321  asked:

Hey saisai! Not really sure if you've read the latest chapter of bnha, but if you have, what are your thoughts about it? Do you think Kacchan has been jealous of Izuku the whole time?

The thing is… i don’t think jealousy is exactly the right word for it.

to be more specific, this panel. this panel expresses both Izuku and Bakugou’s feelings towards each other. Bakugou isn’t jealous of Izuku, he fears him. he’s scared of Izuku’s sudden development and is scared that one day Izuku will surpass him.

but he’s also in denial about it. 

to go further back, the whole reason Bakugou started bullying Izuku is because he thought Izuku was looking down on him. 

this is 100% the reason Bakugou started to bully Izuku. it’s because he thought Izuku was looking down on him. it’s because he thought that Izuku saw him as weak and needing help.

for his entire life, Bakugou grew up believing he was better than everyone. and, until recently, he had no reason to not believe this. 

since he was little, he was able to read before all his classmates, he was able to do amazing stunts no one else could do, he got his fantastic quirk that was way better than everyone else’s. 

and Izuku didn’t.

Izuku was always the failure. he was always the one messing up. he couldn’t skip stones, he didn’t have a quirk, he couldn’t do anything. 

and sadly, no one in Bakugou’s life ever did anything to curb this belief. every year, it was just reinforced–his classmates all admired Bakugou and always told him how awesome he was, and constantly mocked Izuku for being a failure.

even with the teacher still in the room, the entire class bullied and mocked Izuku. and yet, the teacher did nothing to stop them.

Bakugou had no reason to believe otherwise.

however, if there’s one thing Bakugou hates more than anything, it’s when people are looking down on him. it’s when he feels weak. it’s when he thinks other people are treating him as unworthy or unimportant.

this is why he was so pissed at Todoroki for how their fight went. because Todoroki wasn’t going all out–and Bakugou knew it. he overheard the conversation he had with Izuku. he knows about Todoroki’s beef with Endeavor.

he knows Todoroki swore to never use his fire side. and then he did, against Izuku

“IF I CAN’T GO ABOVE DEKU, IT DOESN’T MEAN A GODDAMN THING!!”

look at how upset he is by the result of their match. he looks like he’s about to break down crying.

for Bakugou, this entire fight was unsatisfying from beginning to end. for him, he was fighting an opponent who refused to take him seriously, who fought seriously against Deku. To Bakugou, he was fighting someone who was looking down on him, mocking him, making an ass out of him.

there’s no point in winning a fight like that.

for years, since that first moment when Izuku offered his hand, Bakugou seriously thought that Izuku was looking down on him. Izuku, the weak one. the one who constantly failed. the one who didn’t even have a quirk. how dare he think that he had any right to help Bakugou–someone who was amazing, who had an awesome quirk, who didn’t need help with anything

Bakugou truly believed this. that Izuku, who didn’t have anything, thought he could surpass Bakugou, who had everything

Izuku was just trying to be nice. however, Bakugou took it as a personal insult, and it colored his perception of Izuku for 10 years after.

for their entire fight during the Heroes vs. Villains exam, Bakugou was fixated on this. over and over again, he commented on how Izuku was looking down on him. of course Izuku wasn’t. Bakugou is one of his biggest sources of inspirations–but Bakugou doesn’t realize that. 

he truly believes that, for all this time–despite Izuku’s quirklessnes, despite being a failure, despite not having any of the advantages Bakugou had growing up–that Izuku was looking down on him.

this just shows how little these two understood each other.

Bakugou based so much of his self worth on being better than Izuku. on being better than everyone, but especially Izuku. 

look at his expression in the above panel. he’s not grinning. he’s not boasting. rather, he’s desperately trying to hold onto an idea that he’s believed since he was a child. look at the cracks behind him–his world view is literally beginning to shatter.

what he believed for all his life is starting to fall apart, and he’s desperately trying to fight against it. 

after Izuku won, even tho he was broken and beaten on the ground–that was when Bakugou realized, oh my god. Deku can beat me. Deku does have the potential to do this. it isn’t just some fantasy anymore. it’s reality

Izuku can surpass him, and there’s nothing he can do to stop it.

Bakugou almost has a breakdown because of this. that is how much this meant to him. that is how scared he was of Izuku.

everything he mocked and feared and denied was possible, happened. it actually happened. and he still thinks Izuku is looking down on him. 

and it’s not just Deku.

for the first time, Bakugou’s unshakable self confidence is broken. in the official translation of this scene, he says that he doesn’t think he can beat Todoroki.

for the first time, he thinks that there’s someone out there that he can’t beat. 

i believe this is part of the reason Bakugou was so angry and upset with the results of their match–because Todoroki was another person Bakugou so desperately wanted to prove himself against, and Todoroki couldn’t even be bothered to take their fight seriously. 

(again, not Todoroki’s fault. but that’s probably how Bakugou viewed it.)

for the first time, Bakugou is met with the realization that he isn’t the best. that there are people out there who can beat him. there are people who are stronger than him. that there are people out there that can beat him.

Bakugou is a victim of his own talent and upbringing. he lived his entire life believing he was special, and he was constantly praised for everything he did. it wasn’t until he met others who were just as strong, if not stronger than him, that this idea was shaken. and now he’s no longer special. he’s no longer the strongest. he’s no longer the best. 

Bakugou’s ego was stroked and stroked and stroked, and then it popped in the worst way possible. 

and Izuku is the heart of it all.

when Izuku tells Bakugou about his quirk, Bakugou thinks he’s just mocking him after beating him. Bakugou is insulted, angry, infuriated, frustrated, and feels like he’s being mocked by the person who was just supposed to be a pebble in his path…. who actually managed to beat him.

he thinks Izuku is trying to humiliate him in a way. 

and again, he had no reason to think otherwise. neither character ever tried to talk it out with each other before now, so they had no reason to know what the other was thinking.

one of the reasons Bakugou is so frustrated at Izuku is because now there’s a chance of Izuku surpassing him. 

the entire manga up until this point is pretty much just Izuku getting stronger, and stronger, and stronger … while Bakugou feels like he’s being left behind.

he’s been beaten, humiliated, and kidnapped–more than once

hell, in the very first chapter he’s taken hostage by a villain and needs to be rescued by Izuku and All Might. 

he lost to Izuku, wins the Sports Festival but in a completely unsatisfactory way, feels like he wasted time at Best Jeanist’s, was forced to swallow his pride and work with Izuku to win (again, in an unsatisfactory way), feels left behind in terms of growth…

the narrative just keeps beating him down in more ways than one. the few times he actually wins and he can’t even enjoy it. it culminates with both All Might’s retirement and believing that it’s his fault, and his failing the provisional license exam.

Bakugou is only 15/16. he’s just a kid. kids can only take so much before they fall apart.

this is honestly one of Bakugou’s worst moments. he had no right to hit Izuku like that. however, the reason he did was because Izuku was saying that there was no way Bakugou could beat All Might. even with handicaps, Bakugou had no chance of winning this fight.

in other words, he was calling Bakugou weak. 

it doesn’t help that prior to the exam, Bakugou believes that All Might is looking down on him with all their precautions.

it doesn’t matter if it’s All Might, the number one hero. it doesn’t matter how much logic is in Izuku’s words. all that matters to Bakugou is that Izuku is saying that Bakugou is too weak to win a fight. that both he, and All Might, are looking down on Bakugou.

Bakugou needs the validation of being the Best. he needs it. he has to be able to do everything on his own, and be number 1 with his own power, and if he can’t fulfill that, then it’s worthless. then he’s worthless.

so much of his self worth is based on this, and he’s willing to go to extreme lengths to reach it.

if he has to tear apart his own body to win, then he will do it.  

this is not healthy behavior in the slightest, but that’s just how much winning means to him. that’s how much that validation means to him.

however.

the second he’s presented with the idea that he needs Izuku’s help, he says he’d rather lose. the kid who’s constantly screaming about how he’s gonna be the best and be number 1. the kid who’s willing to abuse his own body to win.

Bakugou refuses to give up. this is one of the things that Izuku admires the most about him, and one of the things that inspires Izuku so much.

the WHOLE REASON Bakugou wants to be a hero is because he admires All Might. it’s because he admires the way All Might always wins, no matter what–that shaped how Bakugou views a hero should be. 

a hero must always win. and for Bakugou, that also means without help.

this is literally his entire life’s motivation, and he’s willing to give it all up if it means he needs Izuku’s help to accomplish it. 

Izuku. the kid who always trailed behind him. the kid who couldn’t do anything. the kid who was a quirkless failure–and Bakugou needs his help to win.

this upsets Bakugou so much that he begins crying mid-battle

every time Bakugou cries, it’s always in response to feeling weak or worthless. especially in comparison to Izuku.

since he was a child, he’s been scared of Izuku.

no matter what Bakugou did, Izuku would not back down. he would always get back up. no matter how many times Bakugou beat and bullied Izuku, no matter what he did, Izuku would get back up and trail after him. 

he just would not give up.

Bakugou thought Izuku was looking down on him with his offer of help. Bakugou thought Izuku saw him as weak and helpless. and most of all, Bakugou was frustrated. he was frustrated that Izuku actually believed that he could surpass Bakugou. 

Izuku, the weak, quirkless nobody. the kid who sucked at everything. there was no way it could ever happen.

and yet, Bakugou was terrified at the possibility.

Bakugou’s terrified of Izuku.

specifically, his progress. 

it’s even mentioned in the Omake chapter [here], by Uraraka.

Uraraka: It’s like… you’re intimidating him because you’re scared and you want him to go away from you.

all his life, he tried to push Izuku away, to put him down. but nothing ever worked. 

Bakugou is scared that he’s being left behind. he’s scared that everything he believed in until this point has been wrong. he’s scared that he won’t accomplish his goal, his dream. the one thing in his life that’s motivated him up until this point.

he’s scared because Izuku, the person who was supposed to be a pebble in his path, can accomplish the things that he’d always wanted. he’s scared because Izuku is surpassing him, he’s scared because Izuku got All Might’s attention–the one person they both admired most. 

he’s scared because his entire world has turned upside down, and he has no idea what to do anymore.

this fight is almost an exact parallel to their first one earlier in the series. 

the above is a comparison between chapter 10 and chapter 119. 

the dialog is almost exactly the same. Bakugou is still talking about Izuku looking down on him, and Izuku is still explaining how much Bakugou inspires him. the only major difference now, is that they’re finally listening to each other.

here, and in the above panel, Bakugou and Izuku are finally paying attention to each other’s words in regards to themselves. yes, they’re both emotionally charged, but no longer blindingly so–they’e finally listening to what the other is saying.

which is what this entire fight is about. them finally understanding each other. finally doing something that they should’ve done 10 years ago. 

it’s only up until this fight that Bakugou stops being in denial about everything. about Izuku’s progress, about his own securities, and about the affect his actions have. it’s a first step of progress for him.

there’s been miscommunication on both parts–however, Bakugou reacted much more violently and badly in regards to it. nothing justifies his abuse and bullying of Izuku. but this is exactly why it started. 

this fight is about them baring their emotions and clearing the air. and finally, finally, Bakugou will understand that Izuku had never once looked down on him. 

this is something that’s weighed down on him since he was 4 years old. many of his insecurities can be traced back to that moment. 

Bakugou was never jealous of Izuku. he feared him. he feared what Izuku could possibly do, and tried his damnedest to keep him from achieving it. he feared and hated being looked down upon. and once they got to UA, he feared Izuku’s progress. he feared being left behind. he feared that everything he ever believed in was wrong, and that Izuku was right all along.

for Bakugou, this has never been about jealousy. it’s always been about fear.

related meta:

anonymous asked:

Can you do like a continuation of the unrequited one where the rfa member realizes that they like the mc but it might be too late with how they acted towards her?

Anonymous said:

hi can i ask you for a sequel for you one-sided love hc like rfa+v+saeran start to fell in love with mc after she confesses to them but then mc had already moved on and is with someone else pleaseeeee

I might write Jaehee’s later, since I noticed a few people requested it in the comments/askbox ^^ But for now, have the boys’ sequel!

This is also for @saeranoppa​ who had cutely asked for a continuation months ago… I’m sorry if it doesn’t live up to expectation  。゚(TヮT)゚。

–R.I.

Request Killing: 1/30


Click for: [Part 1]


Unrequited Love: Sequel

Yoosung

To say the least… he felt empty.

It had been weeks since the RFA party where he’d met you and cut off contact, but already, he felt that his life suddenly seemed colourless and empty again. Void of meaning. Void of love.

Heaving a sigh, he turned to a more comfortable position on his bed by resting on his back. He raised his phone to his eyes, staring blankly at his lock screen. It was empty, lacking the message notifications that he had gotten used to seeing on his phone for the past few months.

He groaned, covering his face with his hands, “Why am I even expecting anything from her? I was absolutely horrible to her…”

However, Yoosung only felt more and more restless as the hours slipped by. No matter what he tried to distract himself, whether it was gaming, eating, or cleaning the house, his thoughts kept wandering back to you.

Aaah, this is boring… I remember it used to be more fun when I called MC while doing this…

What is she doing? Who is she with right now? How does she look when facing them? Is she smiling? Is she… happy?

Why do I feel so empty? Even though I don’t like her… even though she’s not like Rika…

He couldn’t understand his own feelings, so he decided to ask the best person he knew.

And that’s how Yoosung found himself sitting across a glaring Zen in Jaehee’s café.

“Seriously? You’re gonna ask advice from me about MC? I don’t know if you fuckin’ remember, but you broke her heart. Don’t even think about getting her back,” Zen scoffed, his arms crossed as he gazed pointedly at the younger male.

Yoosung hung his head, a sigh escaping his lips. “I know, and I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “But I can’t stop thinking about her.”

“It’s not me you should be apologizing to,” Zen responded coldly, unimpressed.

Yoosung clenched his fists on the table. “Well what can I do?!”

“Move on from her. It’s the best thing for both of you. Clearly, you’re still not over Rika’s death, which means you’re in no state to be diving headfirst into any relationships. You need time to move on, and I’m definitely not letting you drag MC down while you’re feeling so conflicted.”

“…”

“Besides, she’s already moved on. You should, too.”

Yoosung’s head shot up, his eyes wide. His mouth dropped open in shock, but no sound came out.

Zen raised his eyebrows in slight surprise. “You didn’t know?” He cocked his head to the counter, gesturing for Yoosung to look there. “She’s with Jaehee, now. After you broke her heart that night, Jaehee brought her home and took care of her. And they’re deep in love. They see each other for who they really are. I’m not going to let you ruin their happiness.”

Even Yoosung understood how much better Jaehee would treat MC than he could.

“I understand. I’ll give up,” he whispered hoarsely, a sad smile on his face. He chuckled humourlessly, tears welling up in his eyes, “I have no right to be with her, anyway.”

Zen

Today, the actor was angry.

Lately, he’d been doing really well in his career—after being the star of his previous musical, he’d been brought into the spotlight and was invited to numerous shows and ceremonies limited to famous celebrities. He had been so successful lately, but then he had missed a few rehearsals from being sick after a night of heavy drinking, and his understudy took his place.

And now that understudy had taken his spotlight.

Fuck!” Zen swore in frustration, throwing sheets from the script off of his normally organized table. Tears sprung in his eyes, which he angrily wiped away with the back of his forearm.

He had worked his ass off to get the star position. He had spent hours rehearsing his lines, practising his movements in the mirror, and working out to get his body in even better shape so that he could convince the director to give him the leading role.

“That role belongs to me,” he wept, choking on his hot tears, clinging onto his dining table to hold his weight. He couldn’t stand. The disappointment was unbearable. He had worked so, so hard.

Zen squeezed his eyes shut, curling into a ball as he tried to block out his own thoughts. What should he do? What could he do to relieve himself of this pain? How had he even survived all those hellish evenings of torturous practices?

His eyes snapped open as he remembered. The name slipped past his lips before he realized, echoing in his ears. “MC…”

His gaze trailed to his phone, which was lying on the floor, its screen broken amidst his rage. He crawled over, unable to find the energy to stand up. His fingers trembling, he grabbed the phone, unlocking it with difficulty. He tried to find your contact, scrolling through his messages…

Huh? Where’s MC…?

Realization struck him. That’s right. He had never saved your contact, and he’d deleted your message history once he won the bet. That’s all you had been to him—a bet.

So why was he thinking about you, of all the people he’s ever met in his life, right now, when he was at his lowest?

Suddenly, he remembered what Seven had once told him.

“Ugh, why do they always give me the bad-boy-with-a-kind-heart roles?! I want to try something new, something more challenging!” Zen had been complaining one day.

Seven laughed merrily, “You know, Zen, I read somewhere that you can never really act a character unless there’s a part of you that can actually connect with them.”

“Hmm? What do you mean?”

“There’s always some truth in a lie. Or, in this case, an act,” the redhead elaborated.

Thinking back to Seven’s words, Zen finally figured it out. The reason it had been so easy, so natural for him to pretend like he was interested in you… The reason he would willingly stay up at night to talk to you, even though he could’ve easily brushed you off if you were really nothing special to him… The reason he was even thinking about you right now…

“I’m in love,” he murmured softly, the words passing through his lips before his mind could even process it. He shook his head in disbelief, letting out a hysterical laugh before he held his face in his hands. He repeated to himself, “I’m in love with MC… Shit.”

He allowed himself to fall backwards onto the floor, wincing as he felt a glass shard stabbing into his back. Must’ve been one of the beer bottles that he’d thrown in his earlier rage. Zen hung an arm over his eyes, letting the material of his clothing soak up the fresh set of tears that he just couldn’t hold in.

“I’m an idiot,” he whispered to himself, pain seeping through his voice.

Fin. | ZEN ALTERNATIVE ENDING:

A series of frantic knocks came at his door. Zen remained still on his floor, ignoring the noise. This happened often—fans would come looking for him once they found out his address. But right now, he didn’t have the energy to deal with his fans. And he definitely didn’t want to show his puffed up face and messed up apartment.

But his ears caught the sound of a familiar voice, and he shot up immediately, scrambling on his knees to stand. Zen wondered, MC? There’s no way she’s here. But… that’s her voice. Her sweet, sweet voice, calling my name… Maybe I’m dreaming…

But there was no mistaking it as he neared the door. He looked through the peephole, eyes squinted as he tried to make out who was at his door in the dark of night. He had to blink away a few tears to clear his vision, but then he immediately recognized your face, and unlocked the door, dragging you in with a big hug.

“Why are you here, you idiot?” he sobbed, clinging onto your small figure desperately. “I was so cruel… You know how horrible I was… I broke your heart on purpose. I don’t deserve to be called a man. I’m the worst. I’m the worst. I’m so sorry, I’m sorry…”

He repeated his apologies over and over again, just holding onto you tightly. You reached behind him to rub his back in an attempt to soothe him. God, he’s a mess, you thought to yourself.

When he finally calmed down, he asked quietly, “…Why are you here?”

“I heard the news that you’re being replaced… I figured it would be hard for you to handle it. I know how hard you worked for the role, after all… So, I phoned Seven and he told me your address,” you replied softly, stroking his hair.

“But… why?” He shook his head, unsatisfied by your answer. “I was so awful to you. I honestly don’t deserve you… Why would you come even after I did that to you?”

You offered a sad smile. “Because I love you. And even if you don’t feel the same… even if you think I’m nothing… I would still do anything for you. Because I’m an idiot, and I love you.”

Pain tugged at his heart as he listened to your confession. “But wait, MC, I love you t-“

You covered your ears, taking a step back from him. Heartbrokenly, you admitted to him, “No. You don’t, Zen. You only feel that way because you’re feeling down right now, and you’re reaching to the closest, easiest person for comfort. You’re only fooling yourself into loving me… Please don’t tell me that you love me if you don’t really mean it. Please… don’t break my heart a second time.”

He fell silent, confused. Was it true? Was he really only ‘in love’ because he was feeling depressed? He didn’t know how to feel. His heart was in turmoil right now.

You continued, “Tonight… I’ll make you dinner so you’ll eat properly, clean the house, and make sure you fall asleep. I’ll be gone in the morning. And I’ll be leaving this unrequited love of mine behind. So please, don’t try to find me again. I love you, but I know I have to let go.”

And you stayed true to your word. After taking care of him for the night, you left him with three words:

“Please, be happy.”

Jumin

He couldn’t avoid you forever.

He had been fully aware of that even as he had rejected you a few weeks back. You were part of the same charity organization, and he knew he had to face you at some point. Despite that, he did his best to ignore you, all the same.

You had been hoping to apologize for your previously bold behaviour, but he would make Jaehee turn you away at his office, and he would have his bodyguards surround him when you tried to talk to him after work. Jumin Han was being difficult. And you understood why, but it honestly annoyed you to no end that he took to such measures, simply to avoid you.

So you waited to meet him at the next RFA party planning meeting. As you’d hoped, he came to the meeting with no bodyguards.

“Business is business,” he coldly reminded you before you could even get up from your seat to talk to him. “Leave personal business out of this.”

He was stubborn. And although you were a persistent person yourself, you knew better than to bring personal affairs into work.

After the meeting, you met with Jaehee for lunch, who apologized profusely for having to deny you from meeting Jumin countless times. Of course, you forgave her, knowing she had only been following orders from her boss.

“What should I do?” you asked, sighing. “I’ve tried everything, but he won’t even let me talk to him. All I want to do is apologize, at the very least. I don’t need him to feel the same. I know that’s a lot to ask for, in the first place…”

Jaehee hummed thoughtfully as she listened to your predicament. “Well, Mr. Han tends to be stubborn about things like this. I’m sure you know, but he’s never been on good terms with anyone of the female gender. Everyone had always been after his family name and riches… He grew up surrounded by women who sought to appeal to him, either to be his lover or to gain his father’s favour. It’s only reasonable that he has become unable to trust the women around him.”

You nodded, listening carefully.

She continued, “It’s not the first time he’s been in this kind of situation with you. Mr. Han is a much desired bachelor, and he’s had to meet many women for business, and it happens often that they develop feelings for him. Now, he asks me to go with him during those kinds of meetings, which has decreased the amount of women who act boldly… But, as you’re an RFA member, he deemed it unnecessary…”

“I see…” you murmured softly. “I guess I should try to move on…”

Jaehee’s eyes lit up as she said, “Ooh, actually, one of our party guests is a matchmaker. Her name is Uranai. I could ask her to find a match for you! It never hurts to try.”

You smiled wryly. “Well, I’ve got to start somewhere.”

It was 2 months later, as Jumin sat in his office, that he wondered how you were doing. You had stopped trying to approach him sooner than he expected… He couldn’t help but be curious about you.

Well… it wouldn’t be weird for me to look at her social media or anything… We’re colleagues, after all… That’s what he said to convince himself as he searched up your name and scrolled through your photos.

His breath caught in his throat as he saw pictures of you with another man, arms linked together.

She looks… really happy, Jumin thought to himself, noting how your eyes sparkled with delight.

He ignored the small pang of jealousy in his heart as he leaned back in his chair. He ignored the question that wandered into his mind by itself: Would she have smiled like that with me?

He spoke aloud to himself, “Well… I guess I’m glad she doesn’t come to bother me anymore. It’s… good that she found someone.”

Just colleagues. Nothing more. Not even friends.

Now, it was his eyes who followed your figure as you walked out of the RFA meetings. It was him who would try to make conversation with you when you came to the office to visit Jaehee. It was him who found himself wondering how it would’ve been like to be with you, if he had listened to you, if he had given you a chance. If he hadn’t ignored you when you tried to apologize.

But those were only ifs. It was already too late.

And it was from this, that Jumin would teach his son, born from an arranged marriage many, many years later: “Don’t ever be afraid to take risks. You’ll never know the outcome if you don’t take an opportunity. Please don’t be a close-minded idiot like your father, okay?”

And, by some weird twist of fate, his son and your daughter would meet and fall in love one day, bringing the two families together, and finally giving Jumin the chance to own up to his mistakes.

Seven

You hadn’t responded to any of his calls in days. Seven was starting to get worried about you.

He picked up his phone, texting you.

707: Did something happen?
Read.
707: I know you’re reading my messages. Say something, anything.
Read.
707: You could’ve at least been funny and literally just said ‘something’…
Read.
707: Stop ignoring me.
MC: You have no right to tell me what to do.
707: I don’t understand what you want, MC.
Read.

He sighed in frustration. Why couldn’t you just tell him the truth? You always told him what was on your mind before. …Before that day at the zoo.

His eyes widened at the realization. Now he remembered. You’d been acting really weird that day, almost as if you had fallen in love with him or something… which was exactly what he told you not to do in the ride home afterwards. He quickly messaged you again.

707: MC, I’m coming over.
MC: Wait, what?!

Without further explanation, Seven headed over to your house, in the same car he had unknowingly broken your heart in. He didn’t even knock on your door, simply picked the lock with ease and entered the dark apartment. He felt his heart squeeze in pain as he took in the messy place, realizing that you haven’t been taking care of yourself.

“MC?” he called out, scanning the room for any sign of your presence.

He heard a creak in the bedroom, and he walked slowly in that direction. He knocked politely at your door. “MC, it’s me… Open the do-“

You flung open the door, a wide grin on your face. “I was just kidding~ I’m perfectly fine. You fell for my prank, silly!” You laughed. “Didn’t know you’d worry this much if I didn’t talk to you for a couple days.”

He didn’t believe you for a second. He grabbed you by the arm, and pulled you into his arms. You froze, unsure what to make of this.

“I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner,” he murmured.

“S-Seven? I already told you it was only a joke…”

His grip on you tightened. “I know it’s not. Have you seen yourself in the mirror? Your eyes are swollen, red and puffed up… Your nose is pink from blowing your nose… I know you’ve been crying, MC. Not to mention, your place is a mess. And I know you—you wouldn’t let it get this messy if you honestly felt okay. Please don’t lie to me. We’re friends, aren’t we?”

The word itself stung. Friends.

“If you know how I feel… Then you know that I don’t think of you as just a friend,” you whispered, eyes downcast. You’d given up on acting like you were fine. “You already said that it’s impossible for you to fall in love, didn’t you?”

He stayed silent, not answering your question.

You took his silence as an urge to continue. “So please… don’t… d-don’t hug me like this. I’ll think the wrong way. I’ll get hopeful. Even though you already… rejected me… before I could even confess…” You clung at his shirt, burying your face into his chest to hide your tears. It felt so perfect, being in his arms. But you couldn’t have him.

“I’m sorry,” he simply said again.

He watched how broken you were over his rejection, and he felt his own chest tightening in pain again. No matter how much he hated seeing you cry, he just couldn’t bring himself to lie that he loved you. Seven could only see you as a friend.

He sighed. “There’s… a lot that you don’t know about me. The person you’re in love with—no, the person you think you’re in love with… That’s not really me. I’m not the cheery, fun guy that I pretend to be. I’m so much worse than you think I am. I’ll only hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Didn’t he know that he was hurting you already?

“You’re hurting me now. Coming to my house like this, holding me like this, whispering into my ears like this… It only makes me want you more, and it hurts knowing that you’ll never return my feelings,” you spoke out your thoughts.

“It’s not just you, MC. No matter who it is, I’d have to reject them. Even if I want to love you, even if I genuinely care about you—which I do, I can’t have a relationship with you, MC. You know I’m a hacker, right? Spies will go after you if they know you’re with me. No matter what, I won’t let that happen. I won’t let them hurt you.”

“Just because it’s dangerous, it doesn’t mean you can’t have feelings for me…”

“You’re not wrong. Still, even if it wasn’t a life-threatening situation, I wouldn’t let myself be with you. I… I have problems, MC. And I refuse to drag you into my problems. Please move on from me.”

You struggled out of his embrace, forcefully prying your bodies apart. Fresh, hot tears rolled down your cheek. “You can’t just expect me to move on like that! It’s not that easy!” you exclaimed, infuriated. It was easy for him to ask you to move on. He wasn’t the one in pain. He wasn’t the one facing rejection. He wouldn’t understand how you feel.

“I know. That’s why I came here today,” he said quietly, his gaze softened with a hint of regret.

You caught your breath, blinking in surprise. “I don’t understand,” you murmured slowly.

He looked you in the eyes with determination. His next words almost broke your heart all over again. “This is goodbye, MC. I came to say goodbye. It’s the only way you’ll move on.”

And then he just left.

He left you, standing there in awed despair by yourself. He left you, with the lingering warmth on your arms from your embrace. He left you, without another word. And he never came back.

Just like you never moved on.

anonymous asked:

Mary Watson as a character absolutely ruined BBC Sherlock. I hope one day you may read the books of ACD and truly appreciate the characters of Holmes and Watson. I have no intention of being rude, but am just baffled how anyone can so misinterpret two of literatures most loved characters.

{{Mary Watson as a character absolutely ruined BBC Sherlock.}}

Such a shame that you think that a great and interesting woman character ruined your interpretation of Sherlock. Even with yer preconceived notion that Sherlock and Watson were gay and in love, I think you could have still enjoyed MG and SM version of Mary Watson. Mary brought love into John’s life and made him happy when he was sadly mourning Sherlock’s death. She gave him a beautiful daughter and most importantly, she became best friends with Sherlock too.

That is the most important part because up until then, Sherlock was the only close and trusted friend that John had (yes Stamford was his friend too but not on the scale of what Sherlock became to John) Mary liked Sherlock instantly and Sherlock liked Mary instantly as well. 

Sherlock knew that Mary was not perfect and that when he read her that she was a liar and keeping secrets but Sherlock had just come off 2 years of lying to his best friend and was still keeping secrets so who was Sherlock to judge when he himself was far from innocent. Sherlock could see that Mary made John happy and Sherlock knew that John needed and deserved to be happy, especially after faking his death and coming back to life.

For John to have Mary in his life at that time was the best possible thing that kept the Holmes and Watson friendship going, she saved that friendship because she knew how much they needed each other, she knew how important that friendship was to each of those men. The addition of Mary Morstan to the Holmes and Watson orbit was not about dividing these best friends, it was about enhancing it, about helping it grow to the next level, which was the brotherly bond that Sherlock and John had.

It was Mary who saved that friendship not once, but twice.

It’s all fine and good you think Sherlock and John were in love, I wouldn’t tell you that yer wrong. If that is yer interpretation of these two characters then, awesome. BUT that shouldn’t cloud yer judgement and enjoyment of the character of Mary Watson because even in the ACD canon stories Sherlock liked Mary. And in BBC Sherlock, Sherlock Holmes loved and protected Mary Morstan Watson. She was his 2nd best friend and they had a bond that was totally real because they both understood each other.

They were very much flawed but they wanted to be better people and they became better people because they had one common denominator, and that was their love for John Watson. And both of them lied and did things to protect John from their truths. They didn’t judge each other and they didn’t have impossible expectations of what a friendship was supposed to be. Sherlock and Mary did the best they could. That is why their friendship worked perfectly.

{{I hope one day you may read the books of ACD and truly appreciate the characters of Holmes and Watson.}}

Honestly I probably won’t ever read the books. My husband who is a huge fanboy of Sherlock Holmes on the scale of the Mofftiss, tried to get me into Sherlock LONG ago but failed. I only became interested in watching Sherlock when I fell in love with Benedict and then fell in love with the BBC version of Sherlock. The writing, the setting of London, the actors that use their talents to bring these wonderful characters to life. The BBC version of Sherlock is the only version I’d ever be into. Fingers cross we will get S5 because S4 was AH-mazing! and I loved every minute of it and I’d love to see them expand on Eurus and explore more of the Holmes Family narrative. I’d love to see John and Rosie interact more, I’d love to see Irene Adler make a surprise appearance and cause some playful trouble for Sherlock AND I want to see how the Molly and Sherlock dynamic continues, now that we know they both love each other. I’d like to see where that love takes them..

{{I have no intention of being rude,but am just baffled how anyone can so misinterpret two of literature’s most loved characters.}}

Anon, no rudeness taken! But I believe you are confusing interpretation with truth. The version of Holmes and Watson, YOUR interpretation is that you believe they are and have always been in love. That they are gay and that is the way ACD wrote them to be, gay on the down low because back then homosexuality was not acceptable. Well, the truth is, ACD modeled these 2 men after people he knew in his real life. And gave them personality traits of the people he knew in that life. We don’t know what the truth was about them. All ACD gave us was the stories of 2 men and their ridiculous adventures and it’s up to the reader on how they want to view this 100+ year old relationship between the world’s only consulting detective and a doctor who became his trusted confidant and documenter of their adventures together.

Thanks for stopping by!

Jon doesn’t communicate that well

Jon is an excellent leader and warrior. No one can question that. His only major flaw is that he doesn’t communicate very well. Before he was murdered by the Night’s Watch. He didn’t take the time to call a meeting and tell his men what happened at Hardhome. That conversation probably could have saved Jon’s life. You see this same lack of communication after the Battle of the Bastards during his meeting with the Vale and the northern lords. Jon tells them, “the true enemy doesn’t wait out the storm. He brings the storm.” Then he just sits there as if people are suppose to understand what the hell he’s talking about. I remember screaming at the tv, “Jon tell them what happened at Hardhome!” 

There are a lot of people calling Dany stupid because if the WW attack they are going to kill everyone including her. Dany does believe Jon and she’s going to help him. But she might have a much better sense of urgency if she truly understood the threat the WW pose to her and everyone. Instead of Jon saying, “The army of the dead is coming.” She needs to know exactly what that consist of. What Jon should have said was,”When I went to rescue the wildlings we were attacked by the Night King and his army. They slaughtered tens of thousands of wildlings in a matter of minutes. The WW swords shatter steel so regular steel swords are basically useless in a fight against them. I defeated WW in single combat with my VS sword. I managed to escape the slaughter with few survivors. But as I sailed away the Night King raised his hands and all of the tens of thousands of wildlings who were just slaughtered was reanimated and are now slaves to the Night King and his power.”  If Jon would have told Dany this she might have a bigger sense of urgency. I love Jon Snow but he definitely needs to learn to communicate better.

Meant to be - Montgomery de la Cruz

A/N: Before anything, I want to leave clear I’m not a fan of Montgomery’s behaviour in the show, but I really like the actor who plays him and I wanted to give it a shot writing about him. So in this AU Montgomery has already realised he’s been a dick and has changed for the better; then, this fluff takes place :)

As always enjoy!!


“Monty, you need to relax. Everything’s gonna be totally fine.”

“Oh, believe me, I can sense it’s not. What if I embarrass myself? Or say something inappropriate? I’d only worsen the bad reputation I already have.”

You couldn’t do nothing else but watch the way his shoulders sank down after his words, regret taking over his countenance.

Even though you tried to look for the softest way to answer, you also knew you had to be honest, otherwise you wouldn’t help him.

“Okay, the image you worked yourself over these years wasn’t the best one, true, but you can’t cling to that, you need to move on.”

He hung his head low, watching the nervous interaction between his fingers. It had been a long time since he last felt okay with the jerkish manners he used to have. Although it took him a while, he eventually realised he needed to change.

It wasn’t until then that he understood the happiness he had been looking for in his tough and cruel behaviour had always been in being kind and respectful to others.

Using a low, if not barely audible voice, he asked “You know I’m in the process of changing that, right?”

With that question he intended to erase once and for all, the insecurities that in occasions crossed his mind. He feared you continued thinking that old Montgomery still existed. He dreaded the idea of you not trusting his will of amending all of his past mistakes. But, most of all, he despised the idea that you didn’t believe in him.

“Of course baby, you should be very proud of yourself”

You walked towards his standing figure in front of the views his window offered, wrapping your arms around his chest and placing a soothing kiss on the crook of his neck.

“You don’t have anything to fear, my mom’s gonna love you, and, despite what others may think, you’re a good person, don’t you dare to forget that, you hear me?”

He tilted his head in your direction and gave you a wide grin that reached his eyes, before placing a chaste kiss on the tip of your nose.

“You really think that?”

“Baby, I’ve thought that all along”

He turned completely to face you, placing one hand at the small of your back and the other cupping your cheek. Staring at your orbs he understood why he wanted to change for the better so much: the cruelty he had been filled of until then would only have ruined the kindness and innocence you possessed. He didn’t want that, he intended to give you as much as you gave him.

“I love you”

***

“Are you still nervous?”

“No, I’m fine”

“Baby, your hands are sweating”

“I just hope I don’t embarrass myself, just that”

You chuckled, looking for your keys in your back pocket. The smile erased from your face when you didn’t touch the cold metal. “Ugh, I think I left my keys at your place” “Why is it that I don’t find it any surprising?” He laughed when you rejected the peck he was about to leave on your lips. “Let’s just knock” he suggested.

“Who’s there?” Your mother asked from the other side “Us” “I like the way that sounds” she mumbled to herself, before unlocking the barrier that separated you.

“Mom, this is Montgomery. Monty, this is my mother”

“Monty? Is he your boyfriend Monty?”

“Yeah”

“Like, your boobear?”

“Boobear?” he interrupted, giving you an amused look. You could feel the burn coming from your embarrassed face.

“Mom! You were the only one who knew I called him that way!”

“Oh… sorry”

Monty looked at you with loving eyes, action your mother didn’t ignore. The fact that you called him that when talking to you mother made him want to run to the highest point on Earth and shout out loud to the world how much he loved you. Such a simple fact made him genuinely happy.

“Hey, it’s cute, like, really cute”

He broke the hold of your hands, just to cross one arm around you waist and place a peck on your temple, whispering “my cute boobear”

“Hello Mrs. Carter, I’m Montgomery de la Cruz. Nice to meet you, ma’am”

“Call me Diana. I’ve been waiting for this moment for so long, it’s nice to finally meet you”

Your mother opened her arms to receive him with a warm hug. You knew Monty loved hugs, and were sure that would, if not erase, calm his nerves.

You bit your lip to not giggle when she looked at you in between the hug and made a sign of approval.

“What are we still doing here? Come on in!”

***

The afternoon was being lovely. Your mother and boyfriend turned out to get on really well. The conversation between both went smoothly and there weren’t any uncomfortable silences nor awkward sentences to break the ice.

After getting to know each other properly, your mother started talking about you. If there was anything you feared, that was her speaking about “her beautiful baby girl”, because that meant having to share your childhood pictures and, what was even worse, anecdotes.

“Look at you in this picture babe, you’re the cutest” Monty couldn’t get his eyes off your ten year-old self dressed up as Jessie from Toy Story at Zach’s eleventh birthday party. You glanced at it and shrugged as the corner of your lips lifted slightly, remembering the story behind that picture which actually involved him.

What you didn’t expect was your mother bringing your thoughts out loud.

“Did you know when she saw you were dressed as Buzz Lightyear she told me “See mommy, we’re meant to be” she’s had the biggest crush on you since elementary school, haven’t you sweetie?”

“Mom! that’s enough, stop it please, you’re embarrassing me!”

Monty laughed along with your mother. Seeing you still got embarrassed even though you were already dating just potentiated the soft image he had of you, and weakened his willpower to restrain himself from bathing you with kisses constantly.

Monty had never been reluctant to public displays of affection, he didn’t go too far either. He liked to show he cared about you and didn’t wish anything but to make you happy, so that didn’t stop him from getting up from the sofa he shared with your mother to the armchair where you observed their interaction, and kiss you on the cheek.

“You guys make a beautiful couple, honestly. Monty, you’re a really nice guy. I feel like you both complement each other so well” Your mother said giving you both the sweetest smile.

“Yes Diana, we do“

Your joy was her joy.

***

“Thanks for the lovely evening Diana, you’ve been really nice to me, hope to see you soon”

“Of course Monty, there are lots anecdotes I haven’t told you yet” She whispered this last part.

“And I’m looking forward to you telling me all of them” They snickered conspiratorially.

He walked towards you and held you by the small of your back “Mom, I’ll guide him to the door”

“Okay, see you soon, darling!”


Outside the warmth of your house it was already dark, the only illumination being the dim light of the lampposts. You hadn’t realised how much time you had spent with your mother until then.

 “So… did you have fun?”

“Your mother is so cool, I had the time of my life looking through your pictures” He didn’t wait any longer to kiss you slowly yet intensely in the mouth. “You went from adorable, to adorable and hot”

“Shut up!” you giggled, throwing your arms around his neck. “Let me remind you how you persistently claimed you were going to embarrass yourself, and how it didn’t turn out like that”

“My poor boobear! Nevermind, to me you just got even more lovely, seriously” 

You brought him by the hem of his shirt and whispered into his ear

“I love you… boobear”

“I love you too. By the way, the eleven year-old you was right from the start, we were meant to be together”


MASTERLIST.

I just had to make an edit of this frame and his pretty tears. T^T

I love this scene. Not only for how emotional it is, but especially for how meaningful it is.
This moment when Stephen is mourning TAO, washing his hands for so long while her body gets covered in the room next to him (you can see the body covered in one of the shots, and it’s clear from the way the scene is set and Christine’s question, that he was staring into nothing with his hands under the water for a while), having only at the end understood just how much better than he imagined his master was, right when he’s losing her…
And then he says his final goodbyes to any regrets and attachments of his past life and takes the first step beyond the point of no return (in his determination) and to go fight Dormammu…
It’s one of the most important scenes in the movie.♥

@seikotorolexaxtogymnastics  made an addition to my post but since i don’t want this ugly version to spread, here is my answer:
All we can do is to support BTS in all ways we can, but it’s impossible to do that without also supporting BigHit
consider this: you can support bighit, buy bts albums and other merchandise without blindly following them, they’re not a cult leader. bighit is a company made up of people and people make mistakes too. you act like bighit is a small child that needs to be protected. it is not. 
These things are unfortunately part of the sacrifice that one makes being in BTS
now this is bullshit. the fact that there are bad things happening to other members too doesn’t mean that we have to justify them and keep quiet. in fact we should talk about every thing that’s happening. i haven’t talked about them because my post was about jin, not other boys.
Line distribution doesn’t mean jackshit.“
this is only your opinion and i can guarantee that most of the fans don’t share it
jin still have the least lines, did you even looked at the sources i linked?? and funny thing that you mentioned lost, the song that he got the least lines again….  and also bringing  bulletproof 2… really? this song was made years ago and jin improved so fucking much since then, there’s no point in talking about it in regards to what’s happening right now.
So yes, it is hard to match his voice to the song
wow did you even read my post? i don’t think so. if you did, then you should read it again because i doubt you understood what i was saying.
Without Rap Monster, Perfect Man was a much better performance because Rap Monster messes up the choreography. Jin too, but he blends in with everyone else
now you’re showing your true colors :) i’ll tell you what being a fan means: you love and support all members. the choreography is not better without any of the members. even if for one of them it’s harder to keep up, people are still happy to see them. because most of the fans aren’t here to judge, they’re not professionals or jury in a content. they see a member of the group and they’re happy he’s performing with everyone else!! they’re just genuinely happy that he’s there!!! what a wild concept.

you see, i have one problem with this. you added this shit to my post. and yet you’re whining in the tags that you might get negative asks for this?? learn how to deal with consequences of your actions. advice for the future: if you really want to just share your opinion with your followers,  make your own goddamn post. as for now, almost 6k of people reblogged and liked my post, 4k more did it on twitter. how many people reblogged your addidion? one person. makes you think, huh. instead of trying to get some attention, better focus your energy on supporting the boys, it will be better for everyone.

but you’re too young to come undone

Pairing: percy weasley x pansy parkinson
Words: 2005
Link: ao3

Now, if you asked Pansy what her type was, she would say: rich guys. Classy guys. Smoking, drinking, lazy guys. Rebels, sometimes.

What she would not say was: stick-up-the-ass, strict, disciplined, sweater-wearing, red-headed librarian.

Yet here she was, staring at Percy Weasley like she had every day for the past two months as she sat studying in the university library.

He was frowning. He was always frowning. There was always something not entirely in place, always something crooked and always something irritating. Often, it was her.

It was her, when she brought a cup of coffee to the library and put it on the cover of a book she wasn’t currently using. He came raging at her the first time, voice clipped and annoyed, authoritatively asking her to please remove that substance from the expensive work of their public library. It was her, when she dropped her books onto the desk too loudly and she could see him keeping himself from violently shushing her, just aware enough that that would make him look ridiculous.

And Percy Weasley never looked ridiculous. He looked crisp and cool and in charge, even though he wore stupid homemade sweaters and vests, the sleeves of his shirts pushed up to reveal unfairly beautiful forearms.

(She had dreams about those forearms. Interesting dreams.)

Keep reading

God bless superduper dressage trainer found some time for us today. 
 
She’s such a perfectionist. Never lets me finish until we do every element of the exercise nicely. And for me that’s great, because I expect her to be demanding.

I so apreciate people like her. She’s very experienced as a rider and a judge. She has some nice achivements actually. Fairly said, she’s the best dressage trainer you can get in my city. She sees ever mistake I make (even position of thumb lol) and corrects me imiadetely. She explains those mistakes and tells me if I felt them (eg “this transition wasn’t fully engaged, did you feel you didn’t have his hinds with you?”).She’s very strict. Yet she’s so kind and willing to help. Never looses her temper (even if she’s to remind me about my wrist hundredth time in a row).

That’s what strikes me about her mostly. So often you meet those fancy trainers and they tend to be mean. But they barely explain things to you. They are so full of themselves. Finally, you end up more discouraged than willing to improve and try. I don’t question their experience and knowledge, but just wanted to point out how unusual good atitiude in this environment is.

So thank God for her hahah :D
9/08/17

Lance Week- Family

I’m late but I wanted to help celebrate my boy Lance!

anyways, this is angsty and short and I may carry it over into the other prompts (I think today is supposed to be friends? I’ll see.)

Enjoy :)


What is a family?

For a long time Lance had thought it was a blood relation; the woman who birthed you and the man who raised you, and any siblings that followed after.

But as he grew older, began to understand more about the world and its workings, he realized that his definition may have been faulty. Family wasn’t always a mom, a dad, and a sister or two.

Sometimes it was two moms, or just one. And other times it was two dads, or none at all. And then, if one were really lucky, there could be three people who each held the title parent.

And siblings didn’t always come from the same two people. Sometimes they had a different father, or a different mother, or none at all that they could remember, until they were taken in and raised by a loving family.

But what made a family?

Keep reading

8

Todos se van (Everybody Leaves) 2015 dir. Sergio Cabrera

Yellow Love

Summary: The deal is to make bamf!Dan Howell want to date Nerd!Phil. But how can he go through with it when Dan’s eyes are the colour of chocolate and he has a dimple that makes Phil’s knees weak? He decides he can’t go through with it because he’s too afraid of falling in love before Dan ever will. With a Christmassy twist at the end!
Word Count: 7448
Warnings: Cussing, smoking
Title creds: Yellow Love - Citizen
A/N: First of all I would very much like to thank my beta, @moonlitdan for betaing this for me! I don’t understand how she’s better at english than i am considering its her second language, but ilysm Mey and you’re a lifesaver. Secondly, as an admin of the Phanfiction Catalogue, we all decided to do our own little Secret Santa! So surprise, Nova ( @phanontour )! I’m your secret santa and here is an entire 7k of complete and utter fluff. c: Ily, enjoy xoxo Translations of the French is after the story, if i translated wrong then im sorry cuz i only took four years of french so i had to look up a few words ^_^

Read it on AO3

-

“I dare you to make Howell wanna date you.”

Phil sputtered, nearly choking on his school lunch (a bland chicken sandwich with too much ketchup to actually taste nice); his airway closed off a bit around the food as he tried to dislodge it from his throat, gasping for air while his friends slammed their fists on his back to help. “Excuse me?” Phil asked once he could properly breathe again, squinting at Chris with a discerning look.

Chris rolled his eyes, taking a bite of a chip before throwing it at Phil, watching as it landed in his cup of peaches. “You heard me, loser. I dared you to make Daniel Howell want to date Philip Lester.” He dragged out the names as if Phil was deaf, causing the latter to glare accusingly at his friend.

Keep reading

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight

“Read!  Read, Daddy, read!”

John couldn’t help laughing as Rosie waved the magazine she’d found on the sitting room floor in Sherlock’s face, and Sherlock’s small, fond smile was enough to make his throat tight.

“Yes, yes, all right, I’ll read to you,” Sherlock said, taking it from her and looking at the cover.  He frowned and looked at John.  “Does she normally want to read your boring medical journals?”

John looked across at him from his end of the sofa.  Sherlock was on the other end, his legs stretched out, his toes just barely pressing against John’s shin where he had his leg bent so he could face them.  Rosie settled herself neatly in between Sherlock and the back of the sofa and poked impatiently at the magazine.  John couldn’t be arsed to care about Sherlock insulting his reading material.

He smiled, and if his voice was softer than normal he honestly didn’t care. “She doesn’t care what you read, Sherlock.  She just wants to hear your voice.”

The small bob of Sherlock’s Adam’s apple was the only sign that John’s words had affected him in any way.  He didn’t reply, simply opened the magazine, found an article that he apparently deemed interesting enough, and began to read.  Rosie giggled and snuggled up closer to Sherlock, and John just watched them.

Rosie was still flushed with fever, but her spirits had improved markedly ever since Sherlock had taken charge of her.  She’d been loathe to take the medicine John had for her, but Sherlock had held her up, putting their faces close together, and explained to her in his very serious and straightforward way that the medicine would no doubt taste awful, but it would make her feel much better.  John hadn’t quite understood how this sort of logic had managed to work on a baby, but he wasn’t going to complain, not when Rosie obligingly opened her mouth and accepted the spoonful of liquid.

Now, as she sat curled up against Sherlock’s side, John watched and wondered exactly how he had ended up here.  Domesticity had never suited him before, not at any point in his life.  His disastrous marriage had been proof of that.  But somehow, here in the warmth and safety of 221B Baker Street, here with Sherlock Holmes reading medical jargon to his daughter, Sherlock’s bony feet nudging against his leg, John couldn’t imagine anyplace that would make him happier.

He’d resisted the temptation to move back into 221B for months because he’d been sure Rosie would disrupt Sherlock’s life.  He wished he could say he finally caved because Sherlock had openly asked him to come back and told him that Rosie wouldn’t be a bother at all.  But really he’d only come back because, selfishly, he wanted to.  He’d missed the mess, the noise, the excitement, the sound of the violin, the bickering, the quiet nights in, the takeaways, the giggling at crime scenes.  He’d missed…Sherlock.

He hadn’t even told Sherlock he was coming back.  He’d just shown up one day and never left.  Sherlock being Sherlock, of course, had seen it coming, and John really shouldn’t have been surprised to find that the flat was already baby-proofed when he got there.  And the rest was history.

And now.  Well, now they were…a family.  Weren’t they?  

John shifted slightly on the sofa, his back twinging where the armrest was digging into it, and Sherlock’s feet pressed more firmly against his shin. Sherlock glanced up at him for just a second, but he didn’t miss a beat in his reading, his voice deep and soothing.  John leaned his head against one hand and smiled at him.  Before he even stopped to think about it, he let his other hand wrap loosely around one of Sherlock’s feet, his thumb tracing along the curved arch.  Sherlock’s voice did falter, then, only barely, but he simply cleared his throat and went on.  If there was, perhaps, a slight pink tinge to his cheeks that hadn’t been there before neither of them mentioned it.

John closed his eyes and listened.  It was absolutely ridiculous that Sherlock’s voice could be such a relaxing sound when he was reading something as tedious as an article on Achilles tear surgery.  But, if John was being honest with himself, he would gladly listen to Sherlock read from the dictionary and it would brighten his day.

Lost as he was in his own thoughts, he only opened his eyes when Sherlock’s foot wiggled in his hand.  Sherlock had stopped reading and was looking at him, and John had the distinct impression that he’d said John’s name several times.

“John, she’s asleep.”

Rosie was indeed fast asleep, her head on Sherlock’s stomach, her tiny little mouth hanging open.

“Right,” John said, shaking himself a little.  He let go of Sherlock’s foot, not missing the way Sherlock’s toes flexed slightly.  “Right, um, let me just get her back into bed then.”

He sat up straighter, stretching a little.  His back cracked painfully, and he winced.

“Let me,” Sherlock said.  “I can pick her up without moving her too much from here.  She won’t wake.”

John looked over at him and then down at Rosie who had one fist curled into the tattered fabric of Sherlock’s shirt.  “Yeah, all right,” he said.  “You do that, and I’ll put on the tea, yeah?”

Sherlock frowned.  “John, it’s two o’clock in the morning.  Aren’t you going back to bed?”

Not without you.  The words flashed in John’s mind, unbidden, and he felt a sudden heat in his cheeks.  He cleared his throat.

“No, I’m…I’d rather stay up a bit.  Besides,” he added, smirking, “we still need to take a look at your cheek.  Banged it up a bit when you fell out of the bed, remember?”

Sherlock narrowed his eyes.  “You’re lucky your daughter is asleep on me.”

“Oh?” John asked, amused.  “What would you do if she wasn’t? Fall off the sofa in retaliation?”

Sherlock huffed and–with great care that was at odds with his sour expression–curled Rosie into his arms and stood up.  She turned her head against his shoulder and let out a little sigh, but she didn’t wake up.  

“You better make the tea correctly. Last time you put too much sugar in mine,” Sherlock said haughtily as he swept past John.

“Yes, your majesty,” John said, grinning and getting to his feet.  “Wait.”

Sherlock stopped and turned back around, and John stepped into his space, close enough to press a soft kiss to Rosie’s head.  “Goodnight, love,” he whispered, and then he lifted his head and met Sherlock’s eyes.  

Sherlock’s face was so close his breath made the thin strands of John’s hair flutter.  He stood still as a statue except for one nervous swallow.  

“Don’t take too long, okay?” John said, his voice quiet.  His gaze dropped to Sherlock’s lips without his permission, and when he looked back up Sherlock’s face was even redder than it had been when John had touched his foot.  John was pretty sure his face was in much the same condition.  He cleared his throat and stepped back.  “Wouldn’t want your tea to get cold.”

Sherlock blinked rapidly and then seemed to come back to himself.  “Yes,” he said, sounding strangely unsure of the word.  He nodded.  “Yes.  Tea.  I’ll just…”

He gestured with his head toward the stairs and then turned toward them and a few seconds later John was standing alone in the sitting room, listening to Sherlock’s footsteps ascend toward his room.

Part One | Part Two | Part Three Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight


Wow, that…got long.  Um.  Sorry.  There will be a part three because I’m apparently incapable of getting my boys to kiss to in a timely fashion.  Ahem. Hope you enjoyed!  <3  Just tags under the cut. I’m so sorry if I forgot anyone or if your URL didn’t work for some reason. It was…a lot of tags.

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sorry for being bad ❤️

Yes Daddy

Summary: Phil, Dan’s sugar daddy, makes Dan wear a skirt when they play.

Genre: Smut (toys- vibrator & dildo, Dan in a skirt and thong, spanking, cum play, daddy kink), Sugar Daddy AU

Warnings: Sugar daddy, mild swearing, daddy kink 

Author’s Note: This fic is dedicated to all of my kinky followers that have requested me to write some pretty kinky things. Hope you enjoy! Thanks to the anon who requested Dan in a skirt ages ago! Also thanks to that other anon who suggested cum play, I hope I did it justice cause I’ve never really written it before. Also thanks to @thephrantasticblog for giving me the idea to write a sugar daddy AU! And of course thank you to @chocolatesaucelester for reading over my fic and assuring me that it’s “fucking hot”.

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