understandable posts

merlin is the not the stereotypical socially awkward introvert, please folks it’s 2017, we’ve been through this. it’s soo wrong, especially when done in comparison with arthur who’s always wrongly stereotyped as having all the buddies and is popular. It’s harmful to both their characteristic, arthur especially because you’re losing all that complexity he has with trust and forming relationship.

p l e a s e. enough. 

sometimes I just make posts in the tags because I know I’m too tired to articulate myself well enough that non-followers would understand wtf I’m taking about, and idk any other way to make posts un-rebloggable. sorry for long-ass tags, I just don’t want to be misunderstood by non followers & can’t guarantee anything I’m writing would make sense to strangers when I’m this tired

The whole fandom arguing over whether Finn is a compulsive liar while treating compulsive lying like it’s some kind of moral failing rather than a defense mechanism created in response to trauma and/or a symptom of a personality disorder is exhausting

anonymous asked:

Hello. You wrote recently, "I can and have made conscious adjustments to my emotions for political reasons" - if there are any instances you don't mind mentioning publicly, would you be willing to explain how you did this, and why? (I reacted to this statement with envy at the idea of voluntary control over one's emotions and horror at the political-reasons part, so it seems there's a double gap in my understanding.)

The post in question.

Yeah, sure. First I should clarify that I’m using “political” in a pretty broad sense here. I’m not going to try to give a cohesive general definition of “politics”, but issues where there is significant controversy over what culture should look like tend to be perceived as political issues even when they have nothing to do with government policy, and that kind of cultural question is primarily what I had in mind.

Here are some things which I used to react to with amusement and a loss of respect for the person in question: Speaking a low-status dialect of English, speaking English poorly because it’s a second language, having difficulty performing any “easy” mental task. After finding discussion of these issues in social justice writing on the internet, I realized that the societal treatment of those things as shameful is actually really harmful, and I started trying to eliminate my own scorn reaction in such cases. (I’ll talk about methods a little later.) Changing my emotional reaction had a number of advantages, but the greatest one was this: I knew that showing scorn would be harmful and I don’t have a good poker face, so for me the easiest way to stop showing scorn was to stop feeling it.

Another, more personal, example: Writings about gender which characterize men as an outgroup, either by suggesting that men are sort of evil or by making them into an incomprehensible Other, used to feel really validating for me. I would read them, and I would agree with them, and by agreeing with them I would affirm my own membership in the class of women. (This would happen even before I realized I was trans, which is a weird phenomenon that might deserve its own post. But anyway.) When I realized how those attitudes could be harmful, I started working on changing how I reacted to them. Here, the main advantage to changing my emotional reaction was the avoidance of bias: I didn’t want to embrace incorrect and harmful ideas just because they made me feel good.

Before I talk about the methods I used to change my emotional reactions, I want to emphasize a few things:

  • These examples are cases where I personally found it worthwhile to adjust my emotions. No one has any obligation to do the same, and depending on your circumstances it might actually be a bad idea to try.
  • My mind is not your mind. What worked for me might not work for you.
  • These are cases where there was a dissonance between my values and my emotions. When no such dissonance exists, I wouldn’t expect the techniques I used to work very well for anyone.
  • The changes that I achieved were real, but they were slow, and partial.

After all this build-up you might be expecting some sort of clever secret technique, in which case this might be a little disappointing. There are two primary techniques I used to adjust my emotions.

One was basically “fake it ‘til you make it”: I thought about how I would act if I didn’t feel any scorn for someone’s accent, for example, and tried to act that way even if it wasn’t what I was feeling. The desire to change my behavior was the primary motivator for wanting to change my emotions, but focusing on the behavior directly was a pretty effective way to produce that emotional change.

The other technique I used was training myself to notice when I was feeling the unwanted emotion and challenge it by reminding myself of how it was dissonant with my values. So if someone was speaking a low-status dialect of English and I felt scorn, I’d remind myself that there’s nothing shameful about speaking in that dialect. When challenging unwanted emotions it was also helpful for me to remind myself where they came from, like “I feel this way because people use dialects as a class signifier” or “I only feel this way because of my dysphoria”.

It’s tempting to speculate about failure modes and how these might need to be adjusted for different people’s needs, but if I’m being honest, all I know is what worked for me. So let me just close this by saying, again, that you don’t have to do this, and if attempting it causes you a lot of distress, you probably shouldn’t.

anonymous asked:

What are the healthy vegan settings for Cronometer? Slightly worried as my fat intake is quite low compared to the cronometer settings. I don't have facebook so I can't check the WSLF group :) Thank you!

Jeff Novick RD’s settings  you will have to click on the previous forum threads he posts to understand the rational for each nutrient. 

I genuinely do not understand how a post about characterization and characterization alone has been called racist. How? Please, explain to me how? What logic in your brain has managed to twist character analyzation into racism when the post was entirely about what actions a character took in a film? Please do tell me how *that*, specifically, is racist. I’d like to know, because I regularly rip apart other major TFA characters, too, and maybe that’s also somehow misogynistic because I analyzed Rey? Or anti-mental illness because I ripped into Kylo and his personal problems? Please enlighten me, all of you, because I’d hate to make the same mistake twice with my literary critique.

No, Yuri!!! on Ice isn't a yaoi

It’s not even a shounen ai.
It’s a sports anime with a canon gay couple.

Please please please, I don’t want to alienate LGBT representation in anime any further than it already has by placing YOI in the yaoi category just because of Victuuri. Rarely do we see gay representation outside of yaoi (if you even consider that representative…) so I want to keep this intact.

Don’t wait for approval. Not everyone will understand your vision. You just need to believe in yourself, remain positive and go get it done.
— 

Advice for Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Libra, Aquarius, Pisces

  • Guys, you are the only person whose opinion of you should worry. Firstly love yourself 

Victor painting Yuri’s lips so he can kiss that gold

more cute boys in makeup 2k17 @therealpigfarts23

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like heres the THING about (alive) Aradia that i dont think people realize a lot: shes never intentionally TRYING to be creepy. She’s never made attempts to scare people or weird people out. In fact, she’s just trying to get along with everyone. She’s friendly, cooperative, and nice to everyone she talks to (the only exceptions being people who hurt her friends, or a jokingly snide comment to a friend with no real malice behind it)

Like when she wanted to throw a ‘corpse party’, it wasn’t “yay my friends are dead lets celebrate”. Aradia has stated again and again that she doesnt like it when people die; she loves her friends! This is just her way of trying to honor her dead friends with earth customs, something that she doesn’t understand. It isn’t until she’s called out for being creepy that she realizes, and then she stops

When she freaks John out, it isn’t her intention (note how she frowns after he leaves; whether that was because Sollux was making fun of her or because she didn’t want to chase John away is up in the air) She was just telling him her thoughts, that she wanted to see everything get destroyed, and didn’t understand that saying that was creepy and weird to John

Aradia is probably literally the happiest and kindest characters in homestuck (i’m pretty sure she’s only frowned once while alive) and she just wants to make friends but sometimes says the wrong thing and i dont understand how her character is so commonly misrepresented