underfed

the-queen-sees-all  asked:

I was wondering, what if Harry and Hermione had met before Hogwarts?

The first time Harry Potter met Hermione Granger, she was standing with her chin up and her hands on her hips a few paces from the old olive tree in the schoolyard, glaring into the far distance. The wind was trying to twist and buffet her hair into her face, but mostly it was just tangling cheerfully with itself.

Dudley and Piers were busy kicking all the other kids off the play structure, so Harry had retreated out into the grass. He stood a safe distance from the weird girl who was pretending to be a statue and thought wistfully of lunch.

“There’s a fallen bird’s nest,” the girl said in a rapid and certain tumble of syllables. “The boys knocked it out of the tree, but I chased them off and I’m hoping the mama bird comes back. I’m Hermione Granger. We just moved here.”

“Harry,” he said.

“How’d you get that scar?” she said.

“Car accident.”

“That’s a weird scar for a car accident.”

Harry shrugged. “It killed my parents.”

She blinked quickly at him and even at that distance he wished vaguely that she wore glasses, too, because her gaze was something that really felt like it should have some built-in bluntedness. “Mine are dentists. Mum’s taking me to the library after school, want to come?”

-

Before they went into Diagon Alley, Harry asked Hagrid if they could find a payphone. Hermione picked up on the first ring.

“Harry! Where have you been? I’ve been trying and trying to call–”

“Sorry, yeah. Um, so, I’m not coming back to school next year, I…” Harry drifted off, staring at Hagrid’s massive moleskin shoulders. The giant man saw him looking and gave him a tentatively cheerful little wave. “It’s been weird, Herm.” He pressed his forehead into the phone stand, but not too hard. “I think you’re the only thing I’m really going to miss.”

“Harry,” Hermione said and Harry started to frown, because that wasn’t her stern and startled voice. That was the voice that meant she was off down a charging war path of other thought and might not have heard him at all. “I’ve been reading.”

“Of course you’ve been reading,” he said. “I’ve been being forcibly hidden from a swarm of post office owls–”

“You’re in books,” she said in breathless delight, squeaking over the telephone line. “First thing we did, of course, after the professor explained, was get her to escort us to a bookstore– a whole bibliography, Harry, a whole world’s bibliography I haven’t even touched– how am I ever going to–” She took in a little calming breath, and murmured, “Different infinities, it’s okay, Hermione, okay.” A sharp exhale and then she tumbled right back into her rushing rivelet of a sentence. “And I picked up a good dozen, besides the school books, of course, and Harry, you’re in books, in Dark Wizardwork of This Century and A Modern Wizards’ History and October’s End: A Biography–”

“Hermione,” said Harry with slow enunciation. “Are you a wizard, too?”

“A witch, I think,” she said. “But I’m still reading up on the sociology of it all.”

-

Hagrid wouldn’t say Voldemort’s name, but Hermione would. She came over with a stack of books up to her chin, gave the Dursleys her normal pointed little stare that said she’d like to set them a little on fire, and curled up in his cupboard with him.

He supposed she probably could learn how to set them on fire, now, if she really wanted to.

She gave him passages and excerpts with his name in them, with his parents’ names, a home he hadn’t known. There were pictures of a ruined house with the smoke drifting in little curls of ink. There was his mother, smiling and waving in black and white. There was his mother, laid out on the floor, with a sober little caption below it. That picture was still, except for curtains fluttering in the window.

Hermione finally dragged her face far enough up from the pages to see Harry holding his own hand very tightly, and then she closed the book and reached for one about which magical creatures you should pet and which you shouldn’t.

“Sorry,” she said.

“I wanted to know.”

“I’m still sorry.”

-

The Grangers drove Harry, Hermione, Hedwig, and their trunks to King’s Cross Station. Mrs. Granger kissed the top of Hermione’s head while Mr. Granger mussed Harry’s mop of dark hair affectionately, and then they swapped children and repeated the treatment. Hermione pushed her hair back out of her face and marched them all to Platform 9 ¾, the entrance mechanism of which she had read all about.

“Before you go,” Mrs. Granger said, “let’s buy you some sandwiches? I don’t know what sort of food they’ll have past that–”

“There’s a trolley,” Hermione said, but her parents dragged them off to a snack kiosk anyway, Harry happily in tow.

As they were on Hermione’s tight schedule, there were plenty of compartments open, and they took one all to themselves– well, to themselves, Hedwig, and Hermione’s books, which took up two seats. (Harry would wheedle Hagrid into taking him to Diagon Alley for Christmas shopping that year, where he would get Hermione a carry-all bag for her small personal library.)

Hermione took a long preparatory breath while Harry unwrapped his sandwich. “Harry? What if I go and sit down under the Hat and I just sit and sit there, and then it says I’m not a witch at all?” Hermione said, the words getting more squashed together and higher-pitched as she went. “I’m not magic, it just got confused, and they send me home? Harry, I don’t want to be a dentist. Other people’s mouths are disgusting–”

“You’re not going to get kicked out,” Harry said, chewing amiably on his sandwich. It was not good, but the Dursleys hadn’t bothered with any breakfast for him and he hadn’t wanted to bother the Grangers about it either. It was a bit dry on the way down, but it settled warmly in his belly.

“But what if I do?”

“I’ll stage a protest,” said Harry. “Refuse to do my homework til they reinstate you.”

“You’re not going to do your homework anyway.”

“See how dedicated I am to you.”

She made a dismissive little noise at him, wringing her hands in her lap.

“Hermione,” he said, and she lifted her bush of hair to look at him. “You’re the most magical person I know. It’s gonna be alright.”

She gave a long slow blink but whatever she might have said was interrupted by an uneven knock at the door. “Um,” said the pudgy boy standing there. “I’ve lost my toad.”

Hermione leapt to her feet. “Where did you see him last?”

Harry followed in the wake of her forward charge, but he brought the rest of his sandwich with him.

-

(Harry did not know this and would not know this until Mrs. Granger mentioned it casually over a Christmas dinner years and years later– but she and Mr. Granger reported the Dursleys for child abuse and neglect, over and over.

The reports got lost– minds scrubbed down, papers vanished– but they kept calling in reports. They considered kidnapping. They couldn’t imagine why the wizarding world might want to keep their chosen one somewhere so toxic, why they might want to keep this underfed child and his messy hair with those people.

“My mother left me a blood protection spell,” said Harry, whose scar had not ached in years. He poked at his mashed potatoes under the focused attention of Mrs. Granger’s stern little forehead wrinkle. “I had to live with family, blood family.”

“Then they should have made them treat you right,” Mrs. Granger said, as though it was that simple.

Mr. Granger gave Harry another helping of peas.)

-

On the steps of Hogwarts, Draco Malfoy thrust out his hand to the Boy Who Lived, who surveyed the open palm with amusement. “Thanks,” said Harry. “But I think I can tell the wrong sort for myself.”

The redheaded, freckly, hand-me-down clothes boy Malfoy had been bothering snorted. Harry slipped his hands into his pockets.

“You’re the kid with the rat from the train,” Hermione said. “And the spell that didn’t work.”

“It was a cool rhyme anyway, though,” Harry said. “Hi, I’m Harry, this is Hermione.”

“Yeah, she said, then. I’m Ron– uh, Ron Weasley.”

“Yeah, he said,” Harry said, rolling his eyes Malfoy’s direction. “Come on, you wanna stand with us? Hermione will tell you about the ceiling.”

“It’s enchanted!” said Hermione.

-

When Hermione founded SPHEW, Harry was not surprised. He had spent too many schoolyard days escorting spiders to safe spaces, keeping vigil over fallen bird’s nests, and watching Hermione stand up on her desk chair in heated pitched verbal battles with teachers. She’d driven at least two teachers to tears and taught most of them at least a few new vocabulary words.

-

Over summers and holidays, Harry and Hermione took Ron to the movies, to the seashore, to Hermione’s top three favorite libraries. Hermione’s Aunt Meg taught them how to whittle under a cloud of cigarette smoke that clung to Harry’s hair until he washed it out.

In this life, there were things in the Muggle world that Harry missed, that he wanted to see again. He loved Hogwarts, and he nominally went home to the Dursleys each summer, but he knew he always had a bed at the Grangers’. He knew the weird system they used to organize the books on their shelves. He’d pass Mrs. Granger the marmalade in mornings before she had to ask. He got free dental check-ups all his life, which was good because the Dursleys rarely bothered taking him into the dentist.

The whole Granger family tore apart newspapers every morning, calling article excerpts across the table and pointing each other to their favorite journalists. Before Hermione even first stepped onto Hogwarts grounds she got a subscription to the Daily Prophet. During Harry’s fourth year, Mr. and Mrs. Granger got Arthur Weasley to buy them an owl and then began an unending campaign of furious letters to the editor that never got published.

-

In a crumbling boat shed, Severus Snape died, but first he pressed a shining bundle of memory into Harry’s hands.

The fight was still going– Neville newly broad and certain; Luna whipping out quiet, barbed little curses; Ginny charging like an army in and of herself. Hermione had her arms full of basilisk fangs. Ron was moving people like bishops and knights. But Harry had a long damp walk before him, so he had time to wade through that life not his own.

Severus had been a lot of things– one of them was in love. Harry dragged his feet through forest mulch, seeing a little redheaded girl in sunlight, hands not his own offering her transformed flowers. It had been just them for so long. For Severus, for so long, there had been no one but him and Lily.

Even in Hogwarts, Severus had drifted through the classrooms and common room and library. He had believed in magic, in the cool slide of good knives through dried roots, and in Lily– always, always in Lily– Lily in sunlight, Lily chewing on her thumbnail over Transfiguration homework, Lily flicking soapsuds at him in her kitchen at home over summer, Lily pig-tailed and seven, wide-eyed as he showed her the first magic she’d ever seen, a leaf to a flower, a bit of sunlight to a bit of fire.

He had loved, and it had been a real thing. He had fucked up, and it had been a real thing, that heartbreak, that regret.

When Harry turned the Stone in his hand and saw his mother step into pseudo-life in that forest clearing, he thought I wish I’d known you. He thought about how she was in sepia and gray, here, just like in the pictures in the pages of Hermione’s books.

But he was also thinking about Severus. He was remembering Lily in sunlight, remembering her walking away, remembering her in that same cold photographed sprawl but in color–in grief–in bruised knees and heaving gasps.

Severus had been the first to find Lily’s body and it had felt like someone had cut the sunlight out of him. Harry was living through that grief, but he was also living through the wail of the child crying unacknowledged. His tiny pudgy hands were wrapped around the guardrail of his crib.

Harry was thinking about a girl standing in a field like a statue, hands on hips. He was thinking about Hermione’s raised hand ignored in Potions, or the way Snape had sneered that he didn’t see a difference in her cursed teeth. Love had made him brave, perhaps. It had killed him, but it had not made Severus good.

Harry wondered if his mother would have escorted spiders to safe places, if she would have stood guard over fallen bird’s nests, if she had worried herself to pieces that first time on the Hogwarts Express about the Hat telling her she didn’t really belong.

“I wish I’d known you,” he told the specter of Lily Potter. He held his own hands tight.

For Harry, for so long, there had been no one but him and Hermione. Even in Hogwarts, there were things only she would understand– parking meters, the cobweb ceiling of his cupboard, the silence of marmalade at breakfast. Harry believed in magic and he believed Hermione Granger was the most magical thing he knew.

“They’ll be alright,” he said. “I’ll be alright. I was alright, mum. I wish I’d known you– but I wasn’t alone.” He squeezed his hands tighter– Hermione showing him her favorite spots in her favorite libraries; Ron shyly showing them the Burrow like it was anything less than a magnificent masterpiece of warm rooms and patchwork architecture; Hermione standing in the field like a statue, bushy-haired and seven years old, jaw set. “She wasn’t alone, either,” he said. “And she’ll be alright. Ron will be alright. I have to do this, don’t I?”

“We are so proud of you,” Lily said.

“Thanks,” said Harry. “Sorry,” said Harry, and wondered if Hermione was going to be able to read the little passages and excerpts with his name in them, with those un-moving pictures and the sober captions underneath.

He dropped the Stone.

-

When Harry Potter died for the first time, crumpled in forest mulch, he didn’t go to a squeaky clean King’s Cross Station. There were no crescent moon glasses to twinkle kindly at him.

He stood under an old olive tree and a little girl looked up at him with those eyes that needed shielding, needed blunting, needed a manufacturer’s warning. “A wind’s coming,” she said. “You can just go. It will be easy.”

He stood outside Diagon Alley, a Muggle payphone tucked between his shoulder and ear. “You’re in books,” she said, with a breathlessness he’d barely heard for years. There had been too much weight on his shoulders, on hers. “You’re done,” she said. “You’ve done enough. Go on, tap three bricks up and two to the left.”

He stood in Godric’s Hollow, in the snow, holding her hand, looking at the ruined house. “You should have had this,” she said. She was seven and small, not nineteen and weary like she had been in life. The sky was overcast but there was sunlight glinting in her hair. “You can still have this. You can have everything.”

“You’re not real,” Harry said.

“But you are,” she said. “There’s a wind coming. It will be easy.”

“You’ve never done anything easy in your life,” he said.

She took both his hands– hers were so small against his grown fingers, his broad palms, and how had they done everything with hands that small? Basilisks and werewolves; shouting down teachers from atop desk chairs.

Harry was sitting in his cupboard in the light of its single bulb and he was too big for this space, his shoulders curling forward, his head bowing. She was standing there with sunlight still in her hair and her arms piled high with books. “You don’t belong here,” she said. “It will hurt. You won’t fit, if you go back. Everything can be easy. Everything can be fine. It doesn’t have to hurt, ever again.”

“Hermione,” he said and leaned forward, put his hands on her hands where they were gripping her books. “It’ll be alright.” He smiled and she was staring at him with those eyes, those goddamn eyes. “We never fit, remember?”

“We tried,” she said and Harry squeezed her small hands gently.

“Send me back,” he said. “I want to go home.”

-

After the battle, as Hogwarts rang with frantic healing, crushing grief, and raging celebration, the three of them retreated to the library. Hermione hauled them down narrow aisles until she found her favorite tucked-away nook and they all collapsed on sagging sofas that seemed to not have been touched at all by the war.

“Well,” said Hermione. “What now?”

Ron let his head flop back against the seat, hair tumbling all over his pale forehead. “I’m going to nap,” he said. “For a month.”

“That’s not physiologically possible,” said Hermione. “Or if it is, then it’d be a coma.”

“It’s a metaphor,” Ron said, then: “no, wait, a hyperbole.” Hermione beamed at him. He blushed a little and elbowed her gently.

“After this, you’ll be in books, you know,” Harry told her.

“Not– I mean–” Hermione rubbed at her nose furiously. Ron laughed enough to wake up and sit up, throwing an arm around her shoulders.

While Ron came up with outlandish titles for Hermione’s eventual many biographies, Harry pulled his feet up onto the sofa. He watched the candles float quietly between the shelves.

Too Much Undertale AUs!

Undertale AU’s

· Underswap

· Undersail

· Mahoutale

· Freshtale

· Storyshift

· Partytale

· Underlust

· Underfell

· Trainertale

· Haventale

· Undertail ( 2 Varients)
- Sexual Version
- Tail Version
- “Under-Her-Tail” Version

· Understeam

· Surftale

· Fruittale

· Undernovela

· Understuck

· Littletale

· Witchtale

· Underhades

· Undermafia

· Horrortale

· Dancetale

· Gemtale

· Gendertale

· Futuretale

· CPUtale

· Aftertale

· Altertale

· Sugartale

· Fantasytale

· Errortale

· Inktale

· Portale

· Katanatale

· Jaseontale

· Overtale

· Outertale

· Dreamtale

· Abysstale

· Cattale

· Alterswap

· Elementale

· Ultratale

· X-tale

· Auratale

· Glitchtale

· Astraytale

· Blighttale

· Coldtale

· Chesstale

· Cardtale

· Darktale

· Demitale

· Digitale

· Emotale

· Eclipsetale

· Underbed

· Soultale

· Sorcerytale

· Singtale

· Negatale

· Drugtale

· Sonictale

· FNAFtale

· Ponytale

· Gravitytale

· Undertalia

· Steamtale

· Undertoad

· Underwatch

· Spongetale

· HELPtale

· Dusttale

· Reapertale

· Zombietale

· Colortale

· Puppettale

· Oceantale

· Storyspin

· Emotiontale

· Hopelesstale

· Magmatale

· Icetale

· Inversetale

· Humanitytale

· Hungertale

· Legendtale

· Linetale

· Lolitale

· Oppositetale

· MartialTale

· Monofell

· Underwar

· Undernight

· Underhope

· Revoltale

· Underworld

· Underlovania

· Underill

· Underportal

· Underkeep

· Fallen Children

· Twistedtale

· Predatortale

· Lucktale

· Mythitale

· Nextale

· Pastrytale

· Sugartale

· Dreamtale

· Fusiontale

· Anti-Physicstale

· Asylumtale

· Yanderetale

· Underwolves

· Underscramble

· Thundertale

· Undertalia

· Hardtale

· Wondertale

· Underdust

· Amalgatale

· Foodtale

· Underbend

· Underflesh

· Underfates

· Underchild

· Positale

· Minortale

· Undertourment

· Scrambletale

· Alterfell

· Haventale

· Powertale

· Bluetale

· Fairytale

· Cloudtale

· Underlink

· Undervirus

· Underverse

· Echotale

· Undersanity

· Naturetale

· Sugartale

· Flowerfell

· Differentopic

· Tubetale

· Changetale

· Swapfell

· Cattale

· Newtale

· Angrytale

· Sintale

· Underwest

· Colortale

· Uppertale

· Fabletilt

· Fallunder

· Dreadtale

· Hypertale

· Shadowtale

· Wondertale

· Underswitched

· Dreemurr Reborn

· Talemix

· Judgement Hall (2 vers.)
- “Facing Every Sans” version

- “Face Every Charcater” ver = Toriel, Asriel, Mettaton, etc

· Grouptale

· Weabootale

· Vocatale

· DeviantTale

· Crossovertale

· OCtale

· Beatlestale

· Creepytale

· Engietale

· Applefell

· Badtimetale

· Trickstertale

· Understuck

· Fullmetal Undertale

· Undertronic

· Und_rt_le

· Underworld

· Underterror

· Flowey is Not a Good Life Coach

· Babytale

Undertale AU Characters
( Mostly Sans )

· Gaster!Sans

· Bromalgamate/Six Bones

· Comic Papyrus

· Toucan!Sans

· Nightmare!Sans

· Seraphim!Sans

· Scientists!Sans

· Lil’ Skelebros

· GasterBlaster!Sans

· Cross!Sans

· Paper!Jam

· Bill!Sans

· Core!Frisk

· Flowey!Possession

· Cat!Sans

· Amalgamate!Asriel

· BrassBerry

· ClusterGem!Sans

· Neon!Sans

· Drunk!Sans

· Venom!Sans

· Killer!Sans

· Gamer!Sans

· Sexy!Sans

· Gaster!Sans

· Hacker!Frisk

· Monster!Frisk

· Baby!Sans

· Sleepy!Sans

· Ecto!Sans

· Cool!Papyrus

· Goth!Sans

· Palette!Sans

· Corrupt Beast Sans

· Needlessly Complicated Sans

· Santa!Asgore

The King falls

I love this chapter. I don’t get the hatred that everyone has for it. The first page alone shows us all we need to know to come to the conclusion that this will end BADLY.

We’ve known Kaneki for years now. We’ve seen him struggle with the same problems since day one and if we read carefully then we could see that he hasn’t changed a bit. He’s an awful king who puts everything on his own shoulders (as we saw here), abandons people whenever he can’t stand to question himself (Anteiku, the Quinx), has no idea how to lead a rebellion (hiding underground until you are close to starvation leads nowhere) and does nothing about his own deteriorating health (Nishiki told him about it, Kaneki did nothing).

So what did Kaneki do?

  • Feed empty promises to his people
  • While keeping their stomaches empty to the point of near starvation
  • Bring some of his best people with him to scavenge for food while keeping the base relatively unsupervised
  • Not listen to his gut until the last minute
  • Fail to recognise which choices he needs to make (as he narrates at the start)
  • Decide that rushing into a battle all on his own was a great idea
  • Doing so while being underfed and rapidly aging no less

Did ANYONE really think one lone, starved man with old people problems, who has been shown to shoulder everything on his own shoulders while abandoning people left and right could WIN against a carefully planned mass execution operation?

The thing is - he wouldn’t be in this predicament had he not been a character who deliberately tries his very best to never have to make a decision that leads to consequences that he can’t fully control. Which is why he leaves Anteiku and the Quinx, because he has control over that. Which is why he never attempted to do anything risky as King. He doesn’t have control over what happens to everyone and everything if he takes action so he does nothing and lets his people starve, because he has control over that. Kaneki couldn’t make a right decision here, because he made too many wrong decisions in the past. Whether or not he returned to the base effectively only affects his own being - Touka and Co. were in a terrible situation either way, because Kaneki failed to realise right from the start that letting your people starve underground and thinking the enemy would just leave them alone would be a valid course of action. 

It’s not. He chose the wrong trail way back when and now realised that. He can’t turn back and whichever way he goes, it only ends in misery. So now he does what he always does if he finds himself in uncontrollable situations - he fails to think straight and runs on his emotions. Him getting slaughtered by Suzuya and Hanbee helps no one, but Kaneki runs on a selfish helper complex to soothe his own soul.

Kaneki, someone who was compared to Arima in that both only know how to follow orders, could only ever fall as King. The Reaper who had no self agency chose to colour in the eye of a Daruma-chan who does his very best to never have to rely on self agency. Kaneki was a figurehead set up by characters who never learned how to reign. As such, he could only ever fail.

fma fic idea:

ed literally CAN NOT deal with his brother stuck in a suit of armor for years and years it hurts him more than losing his limbs and automail ever could. he wishes over and over again that he could give his body to al - then he goes  LIGHTBULB and so during that year that he’s recovering he studies and studies and they all think it’s to get al’s body back but not quite.

and like 6 months in he’s like okay i think ive figured it out and he can kinda stand and walk around and what not so he’s like al cmere im going to try something. they’re all like ????? and ed tugs down his pants and on his hip is a scar. a very familiar, precise scar. ed had carved al’s seal into his flesh then let it heal and done it again again until it had scarred just like he’d wanted it to. winry screams and threatens to strangle him and ed is like ‘pls stop’ and al gets it then and if he could cry he would and he asks ed over and over again if he’s sure and ed just tells him to shut up, claps his hands together and presses them to al’s seal

then next thing he knows he’s staring down at himself and the first thing he says is “i am short” and is immediately horrified and the first thing al does is throw himself down on the ground to feel grass between his fingers and hugs winry to feel skin and now he is crying because he can

and so this is how they survive this, by sharing ed’s body between them. ed tried to say it should be 50/50 but al refused so ed is in his own body for 2 weeks then al is in it for 1 week and they don’t tell anyone because they’re not insane. and when ed’s sleeping weird places or eating a ton it’s actually usually al. their wildly different personalities would be a problem, except that they’re still children and like twins who switch places they get a giant kick out of it. al loves pretending to be loud and angry and having a fly away temper and it’s all ed can do to go chasing after al shouting ‘brother!’ trying to act disapproving but inside he is laughing so damn much

there’s no negative effects, nothing goes wrong. they don’t knows this, but it’s actually helping, because their souls gain a stronger connection and ed’s body spends a whole lot more time sleeping and eating then it would otherwise so al’s body is actually getting a reasonable-ish about of nutrients and sleep behind the gate. also every time ed switches their souls it’s like he’s renewing the seal so al’s soul never gets loose and isn’t going to be rejected form the armor.

then al remembers the gate and can do hands free alchemy, which is awesome, because now they can go into battle in each other’s bodies when before they always needed to hastily switch back otherwise people would start asking questions. it becomes something so easy and natural between them, and more than once ed’s been up late studying with his eyelids drooping, exhausted past the point of reason but unwilling to stop. and he just goes ‘al, come here, sleep for me so i can finish this book’ an al loves sleeping so he’s like ‘fuck yeah’

al doesn’t need to make a list of things to eat and experiences to do because he gets to experience them all, it’s just you know, keeping up a timeshare of his brother’s body isn’t realistic and he’d really like his own back, thanks.

and they don’t have secrets, obviously, can’t when they spend half the time running around in the other’s body. except ed kind of develops a crush on mustang and roy’s confused with all these mixed signals?? because sometimes ed looks at him like he wants to eat him and other times there’s nothing???? but one day ed says screw this and he and roy end up making out and all that and kinda sort of start a relationship ish and ed means to tell al, he does, he just can’t bring himself too. so it’s 2 weeks of dating roy and he switches their bodies, and still hasn’t told him. they’re spending the day away from base so ed doesn’t worry about it, is like okay, i’ll tell al tomorrow this is not a big deal i can handle this

except they’re, i don’t know, in the market or the library or something and roy sees ed is and internally like ed! ededed! <3 <3 <3 but he has to pretend to be cool so he corners ed and kisses him and is shocked and hurt when ed pushes him away and ed just stares at him for a long moment before howling “oh my GOD you and brother are DATING?”

and they don’t call roy a genius for nothing so he’s like “…. alphonse?” and ed goes really pale and and then al’s armour rounds the corner like ‘brother! what’s wrong i heard you yell - “ and he sees them and goes “oh shit” and roy is like “EDWARD???”

and it’s like fuck, after about 5 years of playing this game they’ve been caught. and so roy drags them back to the office and everyone gathers’ round while they explain and eds like ‘you should have just gone along with it al, jeez’

‘gone along with it?’ al in ed’s body screams, ‘the COLONEL KISSED ME’ and then he goes kinda pale and whispers ‘my first kiss was the colonel so unfair i don’t even like boys’

and havoc, breda, and maes take this opportunity to excuse themselves so they can die laughing in the hallway while ed and roy look kinda embarassed and riza just. regrets everything. why is this idiotic pyromaniac her best friend again???

and things settle down and continue on and roy is very, very careful about who’s in ed’s body when in the future. and al eventually gets his body back and it’s not sickly and dying its just kind of underfed, so this isn’t too bad. and the very first thing he does is tacklE winry to the ground and they lock themselves in her room for like four hours because timeshare of ed’s body or not none of them had felt comfortable with them having sex with al in his body, and winry even had to close her eyes when they’d kissed.

and their souls have mingled so much that al and ed are almost telepathic with each other which they think is the coolsest thing ever and literally everyone else despises because they only abuse their new powers to be brats, because that’s what the do, obviously

and everyone lives happily ever after the end

Arrowverse vs Spartacus!

So When I first watched Arrow I was very excited to see Manu Bennett who plays Grixus in Spartacus and thought, no wonder Oliver is so tough hanging out with the underfeated Gaul!

His character evolved into Slade Wilson and is a big part of Arrow.

Then i saw that Nick Tarabay was in Arrow as Captain Boomerang!

Who I knew as the despicable Ashur!

It wasn’t until I re watched the show that I noticed that Liam Mcintyre who is Weather Wizard on Flash was also Spartacus!

Next it turns out that Naevia actress Cynthia Addai-robinson was also Amanda Waller!

Also the beautiful Mira is played by Katrina Law who is now Nyssa al Ghul!

Lastley the barely clothed Ceaser who is played by Todd Lansance also played The Rival on Flash!

The link being that when Andy Whitfield sadley passed away of cancer between season they needed to re cast their lead and find a new Spartacus. The role went to Liam Mcintyre but one Stephen Amell went to adution where he befreinded Manu Bennett, who clearly has been inviting his Spartacus co stars over to the Arrowverse. Now I just need Dustin Clare, Dan Feuerriegel, Pana Hema Taylor and Ellen Hollman to get roles and my cross over dreams will come true!

anonymous asked:

i don't know about you but i headcannon andrew being really effing good with kids, especially babies. imagine matt's and dan's baby crying non stop and everyone is so t i r e d and their reunion is busted but in comes andrew picks the kid up before anyone can react and magic happens (is andrew alex karev from grey's anatomy? hell yes) i'm sorry i just melt thinking about this

  • Andrew has been in three foster homes with babies in them
  • In the first, he was one of three children (Andrew plus two biological children) and his foster mother smothered her biological children with affection and neglected Andrew completely
  • Andrew hated the baby and the other kid because they were treated like royalty while Andrew suffered
  • In the second, Andrew’s foster parents made him look after the foster baby also living there
  • Andrew hated looking after the baby and he hated the baby and he hated his foster parents
  • They were getting money to take care of Andrew and the baby, but they didn’t look after either of them and made Andrew look after the baby
  • Andrew hated every single minute of looking after that stupid baby, but he had to look after him so that his foster parents would feed him
  • Andrew might have spent all of his time at his foster home taking care of the baby and all of his time at school falling asleep on his desk, but at least he got to eat

Keep reading

A Shit-ton More of Undertale AUs!

Undertale AU’s

· Underswap

· Undersail

· Mahoutale

· Freshtale

· Storyshift

· Partytale

· Underlust

· Underfell

· Trainertale

· Haventale

· Undertail ( 2 Varients)
- Sexual Version
- Tail Version
- “Under-Her-Tail” Version

· Understeam

· Surftale

· Fruittale

· Undernovela

· Understuck

· Littletale

· Witchtale

· Underhades

· Undermafia

· Horrortale

· Dancetale

· Gemtale

· Gendertale

· Futuretale

· CPUtale

· Aftertale

· Altertale

· Sugartale

· Fantasytale

· Errortale

· Inktale

· Portale

· Katanatale

· Jaseontale

· Overtale

· Outertale

· Dreamtale

· Abysstale

· Cattale

· Alterswap

· Elementale

· Ultratale

· X-tale

· Auratale

· Glitchtale

· Astraytale

· Blighttale

· Coldtale

· Chesstale

· Cardtale

· Darktale

· Demitale

· Digitale

· Emotale

· Eclipsetale

· Underbed

· Soultale

· Sorcerytale

· Singtale

· Negatale

· Drugtale

· Sonictale

· FNAFtale

· Ponytale

· Gravitytale

· Undertalia

· Steamtale

· Undertoad

· Underwatch

· Spongetale

· HELPtale

· Dusttale

· Reapertale

· Zombietale

· Colortale

· Puppettale

· Oceantale

· Storyspin

· Emotiontale

· Hopelesstale

· Magmatale

· Icetale

· Inversetale

· Humanitytale

· Hungertale

· Legendtale

· Linetale

· Lolitale

· Oppositetale

· MartialTale

· Monofell

· Underwar

· Undernight

· Underhope

· Revoltale

· Underworld

· Underlovania

· Underill

· Underportal

· Underkeep

· Fallen Children

· Twistedtale

· Predatortale

· Lucktale

· Mythitale

· Nextale

· Pastrytale

· Sugartale

· Dreamtale

· Fusiontale

· Anti-Physicstale

· Asylumtale

· Yanderetale

· Underwolves

· Underscramble

· Thundertale

· Undertalia

· Hardtale

· Wondertale

· Underdust

· Amalgatale

· Foodtale

· Underbend

· Underflesh

· Underfates

· Underchild

· Positale

· Minortale

· Undertourment

· Scrambletale

· Alterfell

· Haventale

· Powertale

· Bluetale

· Fairytale

· Cloudtale

· Underlink

· Undervirus

· Underverse

· Echotale

· Undersanity

· Naturetale

· Sugartale

· Flowerfell

· Differentopic

· Tubetale

· Changetale

· Swapfell

· Cattale

· Newtale

· Angrytale

· Sintale

· Underwest

· Colortale

· Uppertale

· Fabletilt

· Fallunder

· Dreadtale

· Hypertale

· Shadowtale

· Wondertale

· Underswitched

· Dreemurr Reborn

· Talemix

· Judgement Hall (2 vers.)
- “Facing Every Sans” version

- “Face Every Charcater” ver = Toriel, Asriel, Mettaton, etc

· Grouptale

· Weabootale

· Vocatale

· DeviantTale

· Crossovertale

· OCtale

· Beatlestale

· Creepytale

· Engietale

· Applefell

· Badtimetale

· Trickstertale

· Understuck

· Fullmetal Undertale

· Undertronic

· Und_rt_le

· Underworld

· Underterror

· Flowey is Not a Good Life Coach

· Babytale

· Undercard

· Sistertale

· Universal Judgement
( Face every universal Sans )

· Underbent

· Zombietale

· Vampiretale

· Undercreed

· Epictale

· Changetale

· Asfaltale

· Hollowtale

· Underfilm

· Monofell

· Asylumtale

· Goopytale

· Wastetale

————


Undertale AU Characters
( Mostly Sans )

· Gaster!Sans

· Bromalgamate/Six Bones

· Comic Papyrus

· Toucan!Sans

· Nightmare!Sans

· Seraphim!Sans

· Scientists!Sans

· Lil’ Skelebros

· GasterBlaster!Sans

· Cross!Sans

· Paper!Jam

· Bill!Sans

· Core!Frisk

· Flowey!Possession

· Cat!Sans

· Amalgamate!Asriel

· BrassBerry

· ClusterGem!Sans

· Neon!Sans

· Drunk!Sans

· Venom!Sans

· Killer!Sans

· Gamer!Sans

· Sexy!Sans

· Gaster!Sans

· Hacker!Frisk

· Monster!Frisk

· Baby!Sans

· Sleepy!Sans

· Ecto!Sans

· Cool!Papyrus

· Goth!Sans

· Palette!Sans

· Corrupt Beast Sans

· Needlessly Complicated Sans

· Santa!Asgore

· Drunk!Chara

· Tone!Sans

· Baby Blasters

· Paper!Jam

· Brassberry

· Paper!Sans

· Killer!Sans

· Cute!Asriel

ignitemedarling  asked:

That hc about Neil and Andrew adopting a kid KILLED ME and I would love a follow-up (maybe a part 2??)((maybe even a fic??))(((pretty please?))). Anyways your blog is amazing and ur fantastic ❤️❤️

I’m definitely planning on writing a fic. I haven’t gotten around to it yet, but I will at some point.

In the meantime, here are some facts about Madison (with some stuff that I already mentioned in posts and some that I haven’t posted about yet):

  • She’s fourteen and has been through a lot of foster homes by the time Andrew and Neil meet her
  • She attempted to run away from a few of those homes
  • She’s scrawny from being underfed and wears baggy clothes with long sleeves
  • She’s got definite anger issues and has been known to get into verbal and physical fights
  • She’s bi, but doesn’t tell people (yet)
  • She hates reading and gets really frustrated really abruptly when she has to read a book for class and she’s attempting to get through it
  • She was one of those kids that came into elementary school with no real background knowledge of letters or anything and really needed extra support at home to help her learn to read, but it wasn’t there
  • She learned to read, but her reading level got further and further behind what it should be for her grade the older she got and the more she moved around from school to school and foster home to foster home
  • She likes math better than language arts because there is less reading and less class discussion and answers are more obviously right or wrong
  • She would like gym class if it weren’t for the change room situation
  • She already has to try hard enough to get to the change room after her one female teammate (Dan and Matt’s daughter) has left at exy practices and games and it is more difficult during gym
  • When she isn’t angry enough to be set off, she doesn’t tend to talk
  • Even though she talks to Andrew and Neil more before they adopt her than she does to Matt who has been her coach for a couple month, she’s still pretty quiet around them at first (especially when she first moves in)
  • She doesn’t say a word to Aaron or Nicky (or even in front of them) for a long time when they stay with Neil and Andrew for the holidays (and to meet Madison)
  • Kevin shows up for the holidays a couple days later and she still hasn’t said anything to Aaron or Nicky yet
  • She doesn’t say anything to Kevin either at first, but she warms up to Kevin before the other two because he tries to connect with her over exy
  • She’s a striker and her number is 13
  • She’s very competitive and it really shows in exy, but isn’t as obvious in other things because if she thinks she’ll be left out of something or fail at it then she’ll pretend she couldn’t care less about it
Newcomers Pt 11

The flag fluttered in the wind, it was held high by a single figure at it’s base who had erected it but had not the strength to dig it into the ground. The flag was that of the Benemar, two tusks crossed over a war axe on a blood red background.

The Benemar warrior looked up at it laughing to himself, they had won, they would soon push the Humans off their world and then burn theirs to ash, with this victory they had broken the Human war machine here.

Steps behind him made him turn and he scarcely saw the figure before it struck him so hard his head exploded. Karen stood over the now headless Benemar and watched as the flagpole fell to the blood soaked dirt and behind her the Humans and Gal were finishing off the rest of the Benemar that had survived the battle. The battle had raged for hours and had been devastating for both sides, the Benemar in a desperate attempt to break the stalemate had shelled the battlefield hitting both sides. If it was not for the Humans fighter craft braving anti air fire they would have continued till no one from either side was left alive.

Karen had been hit hard, she had suffered multiple shots from near point blank range to her chest and torso and if it was not for her armour she would be dead. But most severe of all was a blade cut her neck at the artery. She had thought herself dead and had not realised how she had survived until the battle was over. A Gal, a symbiotic type had latched onto her neck with it’s circler mouth over the wound and it’s tentacles dug into the skin and into the veins. The Gal themselves were covered with these things that help them heal wounds easier and faster. Humans may be tougher than most other races but even they have their limits and it was long believed that no race could hold a Gal symbiont as they tended to tax the body while they healed it. The Humans though seemed to be fine, if not a bit uneasy at having a Gal with a single eye on their body watching them all the time. Also it flooded their bodies with adrenaline and fed off the dead cells of the body which was why none had had the need to pee since one was attached. It also caused the same mental strain that the full sized Gal did when they tried to connect their minds to other races. Maybe it was because of their size or that they were connected physically but the Humans were not feeling any such side effects, no headaches or hallucinations.

Karen touched the Gal on her neck and it pulsated under her touch like a heartbeat, she tried to put it from her mind and went to join the rest of her force.

Clerk was dead and thus command of the army had fallen to Jenkins who was next in command and field promoted to Captain, he had quickly requested reinforcements from Williams force who were due to arrive the following day and right now all they could do was secure their line and wait.

Ahead of them was a city, the Benemar called it Geeda and it was little more than a mass population centre, the majority of their garrison had been sent in their assault and they were now dead at least those that did not retreat. They city was heavily under manned. But it was heavily defended, it was surrounded by a wall of solid steel reaching several hundred feet high with only a small number of entrances. It was also armed with hundreds of heavy guns that could spot anything for miles and it could only be approached from the east and southern sides as it hugged a passing river. It had often boasted that a billion Gal could assail it and never breach it’s walls. That claim if somewhat diluted was about to be tested.

“We are going to need some bigger guns if we are going to breach that thing” Cathy said looking at the map.

“Or a big can of woopass” Karen said fingerbanging her but no one laughed. “No?”

“No, in this scenario the city is the can sooooooo…”

“Oh yeah”

“Anyway…” Jenkins said getting everyone’s attention back to him “You are right Cathy we will need more armaments to lay a siege of this magnitude, but we cannot even advance for another two days. We have simply sustained too many casualties”

“Can’t our Gal allies simply spawn more of their kind to make up the difference?” asked Cho who had been promoted to Jenkins second in command.

He had a Gal symbiont on his back so he was without his armour and it made him look almost like a hunchback. Most of the Humans had a symbionts to some degree.

“Spawning new warriors will take time, close to about three of your weeks to spawn and fully grow them” A Gal signed.

“We can’t delay an attack for that long” Karen stated.

“No we cannot and we will not” Jenkins said as the symbiont on chest became loose so it held on tighter by digging it’s tentacles deeper into his skin making him wince. “I have received word that a number of our assets are operational within the city and will make their move on our signal”

Just then the ground began to thud and timed intervals and everyone in the army turned to regard these new arrivals.

Bastions, huge two legged walking war machines that had enough fire power to level whole armies in moments. Five stories tall with four artillery guns, two on it’s back and two on it’s arms that were a bit smaller.

They were often called war ending weapons but they had a number of drawbacks.

One they were slow, very slow as even taking a single step needed careful consideration and experience with the machines of this type. The podsuits were often called the prototypes to these monstrosities but in fact the prototypes had been used back in the first war between the Humans and Benemar. Back then they only had two, now they had ten, five for each front.

They were also slow to deploy from orbit, they had to be shipped down in pieces and assembled on planet, this required the shipping of the specifically built constriction machines that in fact were just re purposed podsuits.

They also needed constant air support, the design of them was to defeat enemies on the ground and attempts to equip it with anti air guns taxed it’s internal generator to the limit and cause them to overheat and sometimes detonate when under intense attack. So they never went into battle without some air cover.

“With these Bastions, we will tear open Geeda, the Benemar are putting to much faith in their walls but walls have a severe weakness that out ways their advantage” Jenkins said smiling.

“What’s that?” Cathy asked.

“They trap the inhabitants inside the city”


Geeda was dark and wet place, little foliage grew on Bento and none of it grew here. The city’s inhabitants seemed oddly at ease even after their defeat, probably because they thought they had won in general.

Sergeant Faye sat on a balcony overlooking one of the entrances with her second in command Corporal Oma who sat beside her watching one of the gates to the city. Their Chamo armour was activated making them invisible to the eye, it was not true invisibility and only really worked if the wearer stood perfectly still. It bent light with the use of microscopic camera’s on the front and back to in a sense project the surface onto them.  

Survivors from the battle were arriving bringing tales of how they had fought hard and reaped a bloody toll on the Human and Gal forces. That battle took place some days ago but not even Faye had heard what the outcome was and she was not about to believe the Benemar. They were shouting that they had slaughtered so many that they were now weak and demoralised and could never assault this city.  

“Are our troops in position?” Faye asked.

“They should be so within the hour” Oma replied.

“Good we got time for lunch then” she said getting up and leaving, they found a more hidden place to deactivate their armour and get out some rations chips.

“These slaves, they are all underfed and sickly, they cannot hold on for long against a Benemar counter attack or maybe even the defenders” Oma said handing a ration chip to her.

“They are slaves fighting for their freedom, that will make them fight all the harder, and besides, they don’t need to win, just keep the Benemar’s attention for a time”

“So what is the plan then?”

“I don’t know” Faye said suddenly and Oma was surprised to hear it, usually the commander is in the loop on such plans. “It’s a security measure so that if I am captured not even I can tell the enemy the true extent of our plans. All I am ordered to do is to cause as much trouble when the signal to attack comes”

“When can we expect it” Oma asked but he did not expect her to know.

Just as she was about to reply her wrist com shun a green colour and she looked down at it and smiled.

“In twelve hours” she smiled.

Looking up they saw the sky filled with Human craft and the Geeda’s anti air guns opened fire.

3

Pic with her with me 1 year after we got her. When we got her she was abused and underfed and covered in so many fleas she stopped fighting. Thanks to love, food, and cuddles she’s very happy and healthy!

A word on gambling

Hey all, I found the Elsewhere University page like two days ago but man, I was so inspired right away. Please allow me to add to this marvellous universe. 

Some words in advance: 

This story ties into a few others. Nothing but quick mentions, though; @fruedtrollism and @comerunwildwithme you two may catch brief glances of you characters :) It also features the weird humanoid/horseoid skeleton beast from this post

For those who haven’t seen the EU blog yet: Al you need to know is that the setting is a prestigious university set on top of a fairy hill. Have fun reading!


Keep reading

anonymous asked:

We have a jack russel, and long story short, we had a contract with the original breeder for her to have one litter the breeder could keep. She had to stay at the breeder's for a while, the time to give birth and for the puppies to be old enough, but we found out the breeder was underfeeding her about when it was time for us to come and get her. We slowly gave her back her original weight (she was so thin!), but since, she's kind of obsessed with her food. (1/2)

She used to be so reasonable, eating only what she wanted and leaving the rest for later, but now she keeps asking for more and more, eats grass when we’re outside and even eats garbage if we don’t pay enough attention. She seems really stressed about food, is there anything you know we could do to help her overcome this fear? (2/2)

Hey anon!

First off, this is not an attack on you personally. Please take my advice with a grain of salt. 

Breeders don’t have any reason to underfeed dogs. Underfed dogs don’t produce enough milk, don’t produce healthy pups, and are generally just not-fun to be around. When you went to see the breeder and your puppy, would you have been willing to buy a puppy if the mom looked unhealthy? Probably not, right?

These pictures below are ideal, conditioned female JRT:

Conquest Float

Conquest Trip

Cairnbrae Tiff 

They do a little bit skinny, especially if you compare them to pets (who are usually unknowingly overfed). But look - they have beautiful muscles (not a thing in underfed dogs), no visible ribs, bright eyes, and lovely coats. These are all characteristics of healthy, happy dogs. 

Chances are, you were unknowingly overfeeding your dog and your breeder put her on a diet. Overweight dogs tends to have more difficult pregnancies, and breeders with overweight dogs tend to lose credibility. Very likely, your dog did not appreciate being put on a diet. 

Now that she’s home, she’s gorging herself because dieting sucks. Don’t free feed her - feed her a set amount at specific times. Use training or a puzzle toy to have her work for her food. Consider asking your breeder her feeding schedule (but don’t approach it aggressively - try something like “how much/what times did you feed [dog] when she was with you? she seems [antsy/odd] about mealtimes and I think I might have made the transition too suddenly”) and figure out what is different between yours and the breeder’s.

Good luck anon! -C

Somehow, @deadcatwithaflamethrower is to blame.

Ok, but what if Draco was just that little bit less of being a snot? Imagine. Harry not having a reason to argue with the Hat and happily joining his new friend in Slytherin. Harry telling Draco off when he’s an ass because that’s what friends do. Harry who keeps his friends in other houses and makes new ones without regard for what colors they wear, and introduces them to Draco.

Draco, who invites Harry home with him, much like Ron did. And Lucius plotting to turn Harry over to Voldemort. But Narcissa sees this scrawny, underfed child who makes her son laugh and goes ‘No. He is now my son too’ and teams up with Lily’s ghost to kick ass and take names. Narcissa teaching both of her sons to be good Slytherins.