The Legend of Bread

whiskeredwolf submitted:

A long time ago, two races ruled over Earth.

And Monsters.

(The screen pans out, showing a human with a rolling pin and a goat-shaped Monster with a baguette.)

One day, the Humans declared war on the Monsters.

(A human with a sharpened pizza pin and

“Baguettes have no place on the Surface!” The Humans decided. “Pizza is the way!”

After a long battle, the Humans won, and sealed the Monsters underground with pizza magic.

Many years later…

(A child with a roller pin is shown tripping down a hole.)

Legends say that those who climb Mt.Bread never return…



In an interview aired on the SciFi channel in 1997, DeForest Kelley talked about the character of Dr. McCoy and the life he’d chosen in space.

The common thought was, of course, that he had a very unhappy marriage, divorced, with a daughter whose name was Joanna. But he’s a southerner, out of the south and I think he was such an unhappy guy that he joined the service and decided he would abandon what practice he had.”

While this is never stated outright in the series, it informs one of Kelley’s finest performances, in “For The World Is Hollow And I Have Touched The Sky.” 

The groundwork for the episode had been laid in the Star Trek offices by D.C. Fontana and David Gerrold. Both of them had ideas for episodes featuring elements that had appeared in the third-season love story. 

Fontana had written a memo in March of 1967 stating that she was considering “a love story for McCoy which sees him resigning his commission, actually getting married, then tragedy bringing him full circle back to the Enterprise.”  In May of that year, she turned in a story outline entitled “Rachel” that followed that idea.

A few months before Fontana wrote her memo, David Gerrold had sent in a treatment entitled “Tomorrow is Yesterday” (not to be confused with the episode of the same name) about an interstellar ark that was rejected by Gene Coon for being “too big” for the TV series. 

When first-time writer Rik Vollaerts met with Fred Freibeger and pitched the story (which was then centered on Scotty), the executive producer responded to the idea with enthusiasm, seeing it as a synthesis between the various treatments he’d read.

Aware that they needed a good McCoy story for the third season, Freiberger shifted the love story to the good doctor. In an interview by Edward Gross that appears in Captain’s Logs, he said:

“I was trying to spread the material to the other actors. And I wanted to give DeForest Kelley something, because he was always just kind of hanging around without a lot to do. I wanted him to have something a little more solid.”

The idea that a middle-aged man can fall completely in love in just a matter of hours may seem a bit hokey to modern audiences, but Kelley’s abilities as an actor sell it completely. Like “The Empath,” “For The World Is Hollow And I Have Touched The Sky” uses our favorite doctor to his fullest abilities and serves as a highlight on an underbudgeted and underbaked last season for Star Trek

Creepypasta #944: Selected Reviews Of The City's Hottest New Restaurant, The Teratoma Lounge

Length: Short

Username: patrickpratt76
Rating: ✰✰✰✰

Comments: Took a high-profile client here for lunch. We’d both heard of its popularity, and were lucky to get a table. Lots of locals. Food was outstanding, even though initially they got mine wrong. 

When I called out, “Waiter! There’s a human fetus in my soup!” our waiter apologized and quickly brought me the bowl of baby teeth and wild mushroom carbonera I’d ordered. However, I saw him later, standing in the kitchen, slurping the fetus out of the tepid soup like a vulture eviscerating a dying horse. Very unprofessional. Deducting a star because of that. Great experience otherwise. Can’t wait to try the pimento-stuffed eyeballs next time.

Username: 3kids2dogs
Rating: ✰

Comments: i brought my granchildren here. waitriss kept making jokes about eating the kids.owner wouldnt stop staring at them. PLACENTA CAKE (???) was underbaked and sticky. ruined grandaughters birthday. never coming back TOO EXPENSIVE!!!

Username: godisgreat88
Rating: ✰✰

Comments: My husband I are always excited to try new locally-owned restaurants. When we heard about The Teratoma Lounge serving surplus human meat, we thought it was admirable that a business was being eco-friendly by harvesting corpses left over after the bombing! We think it’s irresponsible and wasteful to be eating animals in wartime when there’s plenty of unused protein going to waste, especially with all those unsightly bodies piling up at the desert’s edge. Eat fresh and local, we believe!

However, this restaurant has taken an ingenious concept, and produced something lackluster and uninspired. Our appetizer platter of panko-breaded tongue kebabs were delicious (the snack that tastes you back! our waiter joked). But my husband’s dish, a still-beating heart in earwax gremolata sauce, was a major letdown, as it stopped throbbing before he finished. He was so disappointed. Additionally, my knuckle sandwich on an artisanal crisped-epidermis roll with sweet marrow aioli was too soggy to convince me there were authentic knuckle bones in there. Not worth $75.

Overall, a good vibe, but unfortunately the execution needs some work.

Username: ilovethemoon1969
Rating: ✰✰✰

Comments: Decent food, but the owner is a little weird. Seems to have too many teeth for his mouth, and his knees bend backward when he walks, joints creaking like the croaking of a toad.

He was very attentive and welcoming, though! He brought us a complimentary dessert of crunchy caramelized toenails, a delectable surprise after our (somewhat ho-hum) meal of soft umbilical cord noodles with steamed quinoa and blackened lung vinaigrette.

Username: stopwarsCCC
Rating: ✰✰✰

Comments: Drove over from California on my solo road trip to view the bomb’s fallout. Although the food is innovative and enjoyable, I’m not sure how I feel about the wealthy eating the putrefying remains of millions of dead peasants. It just feels a little callous, no matter how trendy and pleasingly presented the dishes are.

But- I must admit that the bar is a very relaxing place to people-watch. Drinks were worth the trip itself. Highly recommend the Bloody Mary.

Credits to: cold__cocoon

so ive been rereading the original arc of the warrior cats series because im trash and i want to relive my elementary years but like, i just finished into the wild and i just realized how much spottedleaf is the most underdeveloped and bland character i’ve ever seen. like maybe the fact that im a sophomore english major factors into my opinion but she barely plays a role in the book at all, she has like 3 notable scenes in the whole book and yet fireheart is head over heels in LOVE with this underbaked character because shes pretty and tragic and nice to him

i know she plays a larger role in the rest of the series and i’m getting into it again but mostly shes there to be a tragic figure who helps other cats from the grave like damn. hopefully her novella will paint her to be more interesting but im disappointed

The Great Misérables Bake Off, Pt. 2 (2500 Follower Giveaway Fic #5)

Part 2 of the GBBO AU for @unpeubrillante and @ihopeintangoyouhavemoreluck.

Great British Bake Off AU, developing E/R, developing Combeferre/Courfeyrac, developing Marius/Cosette. Fluff and crack.

Read Part 1 here.

[CAMERA: Zoom in on VALJEAN, who looks down the row of bakers waiting for judgment.]

VALJEAN: What Cosette and I are looking for today are four equally-sized baguettes with a crisp crust and a cut on top. What we’re not looking for are ciabattas. So, let’s start here.

[CAMERA: Cut to MARIUS’S four baguettes, pan up to show VALJEAN as he picks up a baguette and breaks it in half.]

VALJEAN: These are actually pretty good.

COSETTE: I can hear a nice crunch there, which is always an appetizing thing to hear.

VALJEAN: It’s crispy, and there’s a good structure inside.

COSETTE: Really good right out the gate. It’ll be hard to top that.

Keep reading


Alrighty, figure this would be fun for everyone to take part in for the
Undertale fandom.

Underbaked = Your favourite Undertale characters and AU versions of them as desserts,baked goods,pastries.
tag it #underbaked 
thought this would be a fun idea and see what other peeps would come up with this for little game.

So far we have;
UF Sans = Cherry Pie
US Sans = Blueberry Muffin
US Papyrus = Jaffa Cake

Originally posted by therewasamouse

Got an idea for anymore or anyone else?


Perhaps you’ve heard the legend: a supernatural confection born from the ingenious combination of crunchy, creamy Oreo cookies, sweet and sultry chocolate chip cookies, and captivating, deep, dark, luscious fudge brownie. It’s almost too great to fathom. Something so sinful, so divine, it truly is the greatest testament to humankind’s arrogance. It is the boon of pregnant women, teenage potheads, and master chefs alike: it is, the slutty brownie.

If you’re anything like me, even the description of a slutty brownie is enough to make your teeth hurt and your heart race. But what if I told you that you could indulge in this marvelous treat without breaking the calorie bank? What if I told you that this slutty brownie could feed not only your heart and soul, but your muscles, too? What if I told you that eating this will save your marriage, erase your debt, and help you attain nirvana? Well that last part is only partially true, but I’m not bluffing. Besides, who needs money or a relationship when you’ve got chocolate? At any rate, these aren’t your average slutty brownies; these are advanced slutty brownies. Self-aware slutty brownies. Too-good-to-be-true slutty brownies. These brownies are high in protein and low in calories. They are “Slightly Less Slutty” brownies, and they’re about to blow your mind. Go lift something heavy, eat these, admire yourself in the mirror, rinse and repeat until you think you’re a god. 

“Slightly Less Slutty” Brownies

For the cookie base:

  • 1 16oz. can chickpeas or garbanzo beans, rinsed and drained
  • 6 tbsp vanilla whey protein powder
  • 2 large eggs
  • 2 tbsp creamy peanut butter or coconut butter
  • ¾ cup granulated sucralose, erythritol, or stevia
  • ¼ cup rolled oats
  • ½ tbsp blackstrap molasses
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • 1 tsp baking powder
  • ¼ tsp salt
  • 1 oz sugar-free dark chocolate chips
  • (See footnote for recipe modifications)* 

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Add all ingredients (minus the chocolate chips) to a large food processor and blend until there are no lumps. Stir in your chocolate chips then pour the batter into an 8x8 square baking dish that has been greased thoroughly with oil or cooking spray.

For the Oreo layer:

  • 6-8 sugar-free Oreos (or generic chocolate sandwich cookie)

Place the Oreos on top of the cookie layer. It’s okay if they sink a little.

For the brownie layer:

  • 1 16oz. can blackbeans, rinsed and drained
  • 7 tbsp vanilla or chocolate whey protein powder
  • 2 tbsp creamy peanut butter or coconut butter
  • 2 large eggs
  • 3 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 1 cup granulated sucralose, erythritol, or stevia
  • 1 tbsp brewed espresso or 1 tsp dry instant coffee
  • 1 tbsp vanilla extract
  • ½ tsp baking powder
  • ¼ tsp salt
  • ¼ cup sugar-free dark chocolate chips
  • (See footnote for recipe modifications)*

Add all ingredients (minus the chocolate chips) to a large food processor and blend until there are no lumps. Stir in the chocolate chips, then pour over the Oreo and cookie layers in the baking dish. Bake at first for 20 minutes, then check for doneness with a toothpick. If the batter is still wet, bake for an additional 5-10 minutes, but check every few minutes to make sure that your brownies are not overdone. It’s okay if they’re a little bit gooey, as they will set up more as they cool. For this recipe, err on the side of caution. Whey protein has a tendency to dry out when baked, so you’re better off underbaking the brownies than overbaking them. Remove the brownies from the oven when they’ve reached your desired degree of doneness, and allow them to cool for a minimum of 25 minutes. Cut as many squares as you’d like, though my macros are calculated for a batch of thirteen because I don’t math well and can’t cut straight lines. For all intents and purposes, assume your batch makes 12 large squares, or 14 medium squares.

Macros per serving (out of 13): 225 calories, 18g active carbohydrates, 18g protein, 10g fat, 4g sugar.

* These brownies are slightly drier than those produced from a standard recipe due to the nature of the ingredients that compose them. To counteract this, enjoy your brownies with a schmear of jam or jelly, a dollop of greek yogurt, a scoop of whipped cream, or a drizzle of gooey peanut butter. I enjoy them as a guilt-free breakfast, and dunk the brownie into my coffee for extra moisture. Alternatively, add something like applesauce, mashed ripe banana, pumpkin puree, or dates to your base recipe for additional sweetness and to possibly provide extra moisture. I cannot vouch for these adaptations as I have not tried them myself, but please let me know if they work for you! A good starting point would be to divide one overripe banana between the two base recipes, or to add an additional ¼ cup of applesauce or pumpkin puree to each base, or to double the amount of peanut butter used in each (just be aware that this will increase calorie and fat content.) If for any reason you try these modifications and the recipe doesn’t work out, please don’t blame me :) Happy baking!

watching the great british bake off is really stressful for me because im italian and im used to the italian version of bake off right, and like, in the uk version the judges are so nice???? like almost too nice??????? idk if something is raw paul just says “ye it’s underbaked too bad m8”????? in the italian version we have ernst knam as a judge who is basically a ratatouille’s anton ego-esque pastry chef with a very strong german accent and he never ever e v e r smiles and his comments are just brutual and basically he never likes anything and one time he drove a baker so up the fucking wall she literally started throwing eclairs at everything

parawurm  asked:

*presents a pile of flour, dusted artfully with nutmeg and cinnamon on top, an un-cracked egg and a whole, unwashed, unpeeled green apple with a grocery store sticker on it* this is my deconstructed apple cake.

your presentation … is striking. simple yet cerebral, stunning colors, has this sort of fun and playful vibe. beautiful.

however, i can see from here i think the pastry is underbaked.

hi people!!! i wrote a deancas christmas thing for u. !!~~~~

Castiel soon learned that baking could be quite difficult. Everything had to be precise. Exact. It was the opposite of cooking, where you could throw anything you wanted together and with some luck it would turn out to be, well, not bad. (He noticed this when he watched Dean in the kitchen- he noticed how relaxed it made him).

It was Christmas Eve and Castiel was trying to partake in human holiday traditions. Which meant sugar cookies. Homeade. When he asked Dean to accompany him to the store for ingredients, Dean just raised his eyebrows and then nodded, adding a soft “Sure, Cas.” They went aisle to aisle, Castiel’s nose scrunched as he looked at the list he had written out prior to leaving. There was something oddly comforting about grocery shopping, and Castiel wondered if the comfort stemmed from Dean’s shoulder brushing against his own.

They gathered all of the necessities, and then some. “Really, Cas? You know you can just buy icing already made, right?” Dean had said, and Castiel just looked down at the powdered sugar, and vanilla extract. “No, Dean. I’m not cheating at this. I’ll make my own icing.” Dean had smiled softly, and that was that. They left the store, powdered sugar and vanilla extract in a brown paper bag.

When they walked back into the bunker, Castiel waved off Dean’s offer to help, because “I need to do this myself, Dean.” and with that, Dean sauntered into his room, smirk on his face, and closed the door. Castiel then laid all of the ingredients out on the counter, and brought the recipe up on Dean’s laptop. He had never baked anything before, but it was labeled as easy, so he figured it would be no problem. He had dealt with far more trifling things than cookies.  

Keep reading

an official fnaf world opinion post

oh no oh shit i have OPINIONS OH FUCK

im not taking points off because its a spinoff without adding to the plot tho, fuck my favorite game of all time is a spin off nobody really asked for (COUGHS POKEMON MYSTERY DUNGEON SPECIFICALLY SKY COUGHS)

i think its good. its not the best game, but its not the worst either. theres a hell of a lot of room for improvement and i will admit the game has a slightly underbaked feeling to it, but i still really like it

i guess im biased because im deeply attached to the characters and seeing them HAPPY for once, and not suffering in an eternal purgatory as mascots makes me reallllyyyy happy this game exists

i know there was some dissapointment there wasnt a darker twist (or at least we havent found one), but… i didnt have an issue with that? sometimes you just need a rot-your-teeth sweet happy and colorful adventure without anyone dying?

i might be being low about it because i didnt get my hopes too high lmao; not every indie game can be undertale or nuclear throne in terms of quality

but ok complaints time

  • theres a lot of complaints about the battle music…..BUT I CANT EVEN HEAR IT OVER THE SOUND EFFECTS HALF THE TIME. i guess it could get annoying if i could actually fucking hear it
  • chica is the only pure healer i could find? others have like one healing moving but chicas just sort of….pure healer? its weird
  • there is no tutorial. like at all. you get thrust into battle and youre clicking and screaming
  • i wish the npcs had a bit more personality? just like some dialogue… maybe lolbit complaining in dusty fields the bytes are getting cold/bored, deedee laughing if you fail the fishing game a certain amount of times, mendo being a macho dude or something, idk 
  • why does the squid enemy have lips
  • ok actually more dialogue in general. i want mangle to talk to fredbear and the characters to have slightly differing responses to him. pls i am so fucking starved of development and i love them let them Speak
  • why is…waterhose a waterhose? this is nitpicky but why can the animatronics blast with water. why

ok overall: …like 6 or 7 out of ten? i guess