under sea journey the little mermaid

justanotheroddball  asked:

I would like to know the story behind Tucker and Church if you have one.

Originally posted by existentialmiranda

Ooooohohoho man i was wondering who was gonna go for that and hokay *cracks knuckles* bear with me cuz this is leeeeeeengthyyyyyyyy

(but also a quick warning, there’s implied sexual assault)

Tucker and Church first met in freshman year of college at a university in Austin. It was in a mandatory but absolutely bullshit and useless freshman/first year seminar class, the professor was incompetent and rude and stuck up, and after so many times of being docked on their grades or told to get out of the classroom, you can’t help but bond with someone over that kind of mutually shared spite and loathing over a professor. Around their sophomore year, Tucker got the brilliant idea that they should GTFO of Austin for Spring Break. so they snatch up the credit card digits off of Church’s asshole of a dad to buy themselves cheap ass coach seats to fly to the west coast in search of the Promised Land that was getting hella drunk and getting LAID. The first two nights were comprised of exactly the drunken debauchery you’d expect from every stereotypical 90′s college movie.

but on the third night, Tucker, tipsy, wanders off to the beach by himself, stumbles upon a funky rock in the sand that, when he picked it up, turned out to be a mysterious glowy sword that, to this day, he doesn’t actually know what it does or what it can do, other than look badass. Picking up the sword is regarded as A Terrible Idea, as a deep-sea mermaid dubbed Crunchbite had been looking for that exact sword to lay claim on it, only to find they were beaten to the punch by a drunk college student. Go figure.

So using the best and oldest trick in the book, Crunchbite honks at Tucker. Tucker may not understand what they were saying, but Tucker *knows* a insult to his grandma when he sees one and he is not one to let someone slander Grammie Bernadine, and he’s especially drunk enough to go punch them for it, so he gets about waist deep into the ocean water when Crunchbite drags him down into the water. When he comes to later, Tucker realizes he has a fishy tail, a hangover, and the distinct ugly feeling that he needs to watch his back around Crunchbite. And for a while, he’s pretty alright, mermaids are cool, this is cool, hell yeah, he’s got a sword, he’s way more badass than Ariel, suck it disney! But, he also comes to the conclusion very quickly that as awesome as the sword is and the novelty of the idea of being a mermaid is, it is going to be incredibly lonely to remain that way. So Crunchbite makes him a deal; find a way to break his ownership of the sword, and Crunchbite will see about finding a way to make him human again. Spoiler alert: they don’t find a way to break his claim on the sword, and Crunchbite decides to take their feelings on that matter out on Tucker while he’s sleeping, a fact of which Tucker still won’t acknowledge or let himself think about years later. Fucker didn’t even tell him how to become human again, or that the shape-shifting legs trick was only temporary.

Meanwhile, on top side, Church woke up in pool house, hungover, and distinctly aware that Tucker was missing. After four days of searching for him but finding no Tucker, he’s in a panic because his best friend has been MISSING OR FOUR DAYS AND THEY ARE OUT OF TOWN until one morning Tucker’s in the sand, no tail, and he smells like he practically marinated himself in the ocean for days. They argue about where he was, why he wouldn’t answer Church’s texts or phone-calls, and Church notices that as they are walking to their motel, Tucker is getting sicker, and paler, and his skin is cracking, and then he’s vomiting, and by the time they get to the motel, he’s shoved Tucker into the bathtub overflowing with water, has gone to the tiny ass mini fridge to get water, and comes back to a seahorse mermaid in their bathtub, whose skin has re-hydrated back to a healthy look, but he’s still throwing up, and oh god is that a pouch why is it growing, Tucker why do you have a tail, what the fuck iS HAPPENING

(from that day forward, Church had sworn off ever drinking Everclear.and body-shots… until Tex kicks ass and takes names and comes busting down the door into his life, and then he just swears off Everclear)

They’re still stuck in the motel another few days because a) they misplaced the credit card and don’t have a car, and b) they are both actually deeply concerned about how the stress of maintaining temporary legs and forcing himself to deal with severe dehydration for such a journey might kill Tucker or the little squishy baby growing in him or both, and oh yeah, he’s definitely showing he’s pregnant, Church is freaking out because “Tucker how the FUCK did you gET PREGNANT“ “How do you fucking THINK I did Church I got fucked, asshole” “BUT HOW YOURE A DUDE” “APPARENTLY WE DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT SEAHORSES” “THEN WHY DIDN’T YOU AND WHOEVER THE FUCK USE A CONDOM FUCKASS” “BECAUSE HE’S A MERMAID FROM THE NIGHTMARE AND CTHULU PLAYLAND ZONE OF THE OCEAN CHURCH THE WORD CONTRACEPTIVE DOESN’T EXIST UNDER THE SEA” “DID YOU JUST MAKE A FUCKING LITTLE MERMAID REFERENCE” “SHUT THE FUCK UP CHURCH”

anyway, they “rent” (read:steal) a boat and go out to sea so Tucker can try and find Crunchbite to demand some actual answers and results for turning back human, and also just to punch that fucker in the fish’nads. Instead of Crunchbite, they find Crunchbite’s clan, who, as soon as they see Tucker, pregnant, with the glowy sword, they aRE PISSED THEY ARE PISSED OFF AT THE FUCKBOIYERY THAT HAS BEEN DONE TO TUCKER THEY ARE HONKING WITH SUCH FURY THAT A MAN LISTENING TO THE SONAR ON HIS SHIP WAS SUDDENLY ASSAULTED BY HONKING EVEN THE BOAT CHURCH WAS ON GOT ROCKED BY THE SHEER FORCE OF ENRAGED HONKING but to be honest, they hadn’t seen Crunchbite in a while, they’d actually gone missing. last they saw them Crunchbite was honking at a fisherman who was really really REALLY fond of knock knock jokes.

*cough little did they know that crunchbite got swept away by a storm and washed up on a beach to be found by a border patrol that featured a certain sea witch disguised as a human wearing orange who kept saying lets kill it, and a former mermaid wearing green who tried to convince the others hey lets not kill it but then they killed Crunchbite anyway cough*

so back at shore Tucker and Church keep arguing about keeping his squishy or not, to the point that Tucker nopes out into the sea. Church goes back to the motel to try to cool down, but bumps into a local and his service pup–THAT IS NOT A PUPPY THAT IS A FUCKING BEHEMOTH. And then said local and their service behemoth almost ruins his otherwise smooth attempt at flirting with the kickass lady he had met at one of the parties for spring break. Tucker gets so distracted by being angry that he swims right into some fishing nets. A local spots him, and helps untangle him from the nets, and well, he can’t pretend he’s not a mermaid when the guy had to get handsy with him to get him out of the net, so Tucker figures it can’t hurt to be honest with the guy who just helped him, whose name is Donut, who starts gushing because OH MY GOD NOT ONLY DID HE JUST RESCUE A CUTIE PATOOTIE MERMAID BUT HE GON HAVE AN EVEN CUTER PATOOTIER MERBAB SIGN THIS LIGHTISH RED BOY UP FOR THAT BABY SHOWER. “uh, actually, given how quickly lil junior’s growing in there, i don’t think we’ll even have time for a baby shower.” “Nonsense, Tucker! There’s always time for a quickie!” “hmm, yeah I guess you’re ri—-wait what”

Tucker and Church stay in Blood Gulch for the obvious reason of the baby coming and that Church comes up with excuse after excuse after a fabricated doctor’s note after fabricated doctor’s note (he’s never bee so thankful to be a computer science major) to get them out of trouble with the university. By the end of the month, though, Church has to go back to Austin for school and because of family, unknowingly when Tucker goes into labor. When he comes back a few months later, it’s with the news that everyone either thinks Tucker died, caught some super-evolved std, or that he’s just otherwise unable to come back to Austin for health or family reasons. Also, Church decided that college was bullshit and he doesn’t need a degree when he’s already fuckin smarter than literally everyone else around him when it comes to technology and gadgetry anyway. Within the year Church moves to Blood Gulch, starts an off-and-on relationship with Tex, who strong-arms him into telling her the truth about Tucker, and after some friction they bond over beer, drunk shenanigans, and bitching about Church.

 *throws up confetti* and that’s the tale of Tucker and Church!

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  • Robin Hood
  • Sleeping Beauty
  • Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
  • Spirit
  • Tangled
  • Tangled Ever After
  • Tarzan
  • Tarzan and Jane
  • Tarzan II
  • The Aristocats
  • The Avengers
  • The Black Cauldron
  • The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
  • The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
  • The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
  • The Emperor’s New Groove
  • The Fox and the Hound
  • The Fox and the Hound 2
  • The Incredibles
  • The Jungle Book
  • The Lion King
  • The Lion King II: Simba’s Pride
  • The Little Mermaid
  • The Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea
  • The Little Mermaid: Ariel’s Beginning
  • The Nightmare before Christmas
  • The Princess and the Frog
  • The Rescuers
  • The Sword in the Stone
  • Tinker Bell (2008)
  • Tinker Bell and the Great Fairy Rescue
  • Tinker Bell and the Lost Treasure
  • Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
  • Toy Story
  • Toy Story 2
  • Toy Story 3
  • Treasure Planet
  • Up
  • WALL-E
  • Winnie the Pooh
  • Castle In The Sky
  • Spirited Away
  • Howl’s moving castle
  • Kiki’s delivery service
  • Princess mononoke
  • Ponyo on a Cliff in the Sea
  • Tales from Earthsea
  • grave of the fireflies
  • Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind
  • Alpha and Omega
  • Anastasia
  • Despicable Me
  • Gnomeo and Juliet
  • Horton Hears a Who
  • How To Train Your Dragon
  • Ice Age
  • Ice Age Scrat In Love
  • Ice Age Shorts Collection
  • Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs
  • Ice Age: The Meltdown
  • Kung Fu Panda 2
  • Megamind
  • Monster House
  • Monsters Vs. Aliens
  • Open Season
  • Open Season 2
  • Open Season 3
  • Scared Shrekless
  • Shrek
  • Shrek 2
  • Shrek 3
  • Shrek Forever After
  • Shrek the Halls
  • Shrek: 3D The Story Continues
  • Spirited Away
  • The Ant Bully
  • The Bee Movie
  • The Smurfs
  • The Swan Princess
  • Thumbelina
  • 17 Again
  • A Ring of Endless Nights (2002)
  • Cadet Kelly (2002)
  • Eddie’s Million Dollar Cook-Off (2003)
  • Get a Clue (2002)
  • Go Figure (2005)
  • Halloweentown (1998)
  • Halloweentown High (2004)
  • Halloweentown II: Kalabar’s Revenge
  • Return to Halloweentown
  • Horse Sense (1999)
  • Johnny Tsunami (1999)
  • Jumping Ship (2001)
  • Life Size (2000)
  • Model Behavior (2000)
  • Mom’s Got a Date with a Vampire (2000)
  • My Date With The President’s Daughter (1998)
  • Percy Jackson and the Olympians The Lightning Thief
  • Phantom of the Megaplex (2000)
  • Pixel Perfect (2004)
  • Quints (2000)
  • Right On Track (2003)
  • Rip Girls (2000)
  • Seventeen Again (2000)
  • Stuck in the Suburbs (2004)
  • Susie Q (1996)
  • The Cheetah Girls (2003)
  • The Color of Friendship (2000)
  • The Even Stevens Movie (2003)
  • The Luck of the Irish (2001)
  • The Other Me (2000)
  • The Ultimate Christmas Present (2000)
  • Tiger Cruise (2004)
  • Tower of Terror (1997)
  • Tru Confessions (2002)
  • Up, Up, and Away (2000)
  • Wish Upon A Star (1996)
  • You Wish (2003)


  • Last Vegas Watch
  • You’re Next Watch
  • American Hustle Watch
  • Walking With Dinosaurs 3D Watch
  • The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug Watch
  • Rush Watch
  • A Madea Christmas Watch
  • Thor: The Dark World Watch
  • Saving Mr. Banks Watch
  • Anchorman: The Legend Continues Watch
  • The Butler Watch
  • Mandela: Long Walk To Freedom Watch
  • Out Of The Furnace Watch
  • Don Jon Watch
  • Runner Runner Watch
  • Fruitvale Station Watch
  • Gravity Watch
  • Homefront Watch
  • Insidious: Chapter 2 Watch
  • Free Birds Watch
  • Frozen Watch
  • The Family Watch
  • Elysium Watch
  • Kick Ass 2 Watch
  • Captain Phillips Watch
  • Escape Plan Watch
  • The Best Man Holiday Watch
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  • The Hunger Games: Catching Fire Watch
  • Battle Of The Year Watch
  • Jackass Presents Bad Grandpa Watch
  • The Smurfs 2 Watch
  • Machete Kills Watch
  • Prisoners Watch
  • Percy Jackson: Sea Of Monsters Watch
  • The Wolverine Watch
  • 12 Years A Slave Watch
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  • Man Of Tai Chi Watch
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  • The Haunting In Connecticut 2: Ghosts Of Georgia Watch

Prince Eric’s Castle & the Moon by Matthew Cooper

“When I was in the first grade, our teacher had us write about what we would do if we owned Disney. Being the Little Mermaid freak that I am I said I would make a TLM ride. When I found out that New Fantasyland was gonna open up a Mermaid ride I remembered that assignment. Now every time I go the Magic Kingdom I have to ride it. That ride is a literal dream come true”

Because people are being very rude and I want to cheer people up:)

Marvel movies

The Avengers
Iron Man
Iron Man 2
Iron Man 3
Thor: The Dark World
Captain America: The First Avenger
The Incredible Hulk
Fantastic Four
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
X-Men: The Last Stand
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
X-Men: First Class
The Wolverine
Blade II
Blade: Trinity
Spider-Man 2
Spider-Man 3
The Amazing Spider-Man
The Amazing Spider-Man 2
The Punisher
Punisher: War Zone
Ghost Rider
Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance


batman begins
the dark knight
the dark knight rises

Did someone say Disney?

 Snow White and the Seven Dwarves
The Reluctant Dragon
Saludos Amigos 
Victory Through Air Power 
The Three Caballeros 
Make Mine Music 
Song of the South
Fun and Fancy Free
Melody Time
The Adventures Of Ichabod and Mr. Toad
Alice in Wonderland 
Peter Pan
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea 
Lady and the Tramp 
Old Yeller 
Darby O’Gill and the Little People 
Sleeping Beauty 
Swiss Family Robinson 
101 Dalmatians
The Sword in the Stone 

Mary Poppins 
That Darn Cat 
The Jungle Book
The Love Bug 
The Aristocats 
Bedknobs and Broomsticks 
The Million Dollar Duck 
Robin Hood
Herbie Rides Again 
Pete’s Dragon 
The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh
The Rescuers
The Fox and the Hound
A Disney Christmas Gift 
The Black Cauldron
The Great Mouse Detective 
Oliver & Company 
Who Framed Roger Rabbit 
The Little Mermaid 
Ducktales The Movie - Treasure of the Lost Lamp 
The Rescuers Down Under 
Beauty and the Beast
The Nightmare Before Christmas
Aladdin -The Return of Jafar 
The Lion King 
A Goofy Movie
Toy Story
Aladdin and the King of Thieves 
James and the Giant Peach 
The Hunchback of Notre Dame 
Beauty and the Beast - The Enchanted Christmas
Winnie The Pooh’s Most Grand Adventure 
A Bug’s Life
Belle’s Magical World
Pocahontas II - Journey to a New World
The Lion King 2 - Simba’s Pride
Mickey’s Once Upon A Christmas
Toy Story 2
Winnie The Pooh-Seasons of Giving
An Extremely Goofy Movie 
Buzz Lightyear Of Star Command, The Adventure Begins
Fantasia 2000
The Emperor’s New Groove
The Little Mermaid 2-Return to the Sea 
The Tigger Movie
Atlantis The Lost Empire
Lady And The Tramp II - Scamp’s Adventure
Mickey’s Magical Christmas-Snowed In at the House of Mouse 
Monsters, Inc. 
Cinderella II - Dreams Come True
Lilo And Stitch 
Mickey’s House of Mouse - The Villains
Return to Never Land
Tarzan & Jane
The Hunchback of Notre Dame II
Treasure Planet
Winnie the Pooh-A Very Merry Pooh Year 
101 Dalmatians 2 - Patch’s London Adventure 
Atlantis 2 Milo’s Return 
Brother Bear 
Finding Nemo 
Kim Possible - A Stitch In Time
Piglet’s Big Movie 
Stitch! The Movie 
The Jungle Book 2 
Home On The Range
Kim Possible - The Villain Files 
Mickey Donald Goofy-The Three Musketeers 
Mickeys Twice Upon a Christmas 
The Incredibles 
The Lion King 1-1.5 - Hakuna Matata
Winnie the Pooh - Springtime With Roo
Chicken Little
Disney’s Christmas Favourites
Kim Possible - So The Drama
Kronk’s New Groove
Lilo and Stitch 2 - Stitch has a Glitch 
Pooh’s Heffalump Movie 
Tarzan II 
Bambi II 
Brother Bear 2 
Leroy & Stitch
The Fox and the Hound 2 
Cinderella III - A Twist in Time
Disney Princess Enchanted Tales - Follow Your Dreams
Meet The Robinsons 
The Little Mermaid - Ariel’s Beginning
Tinker Bell 
Tinkerbell and the lost treasure
Princess and the Frog
Tinker bell and the Great Fairy Rescue
Toy Story 3
Phineas and Ferb: across the 2nd dimension
Winnie the Pooh
Cars 2
Mars needs moms
Wreck-it Ralph
Tinkerbell Secret of the wings
Monsters University

Your a wizard Harry

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone 
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets 
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban 
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire 
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix 
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince 
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part One 
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part Two 


lord of the rings: the fellowship of the ring
lord of the rings: the two towers
lord of the rings: the return of the king


The hobbit: an unexpected journey
the hobbit: the desolation of smaug

Funny movies that’ll give you a smile

white chicks
21 jump street
freaky friday
the hot chick
just go with it
pitch perfect
the parent trap
she’s the man
mean girls
the goonies
due date
you again
easy a
date night
wedding crashers
without a paddle
Without A Paddle
Whip It
Adventure Land
Friends With Benefits
Project X
Sex Drive
Mean Girls
17 Again
Alice In Wonderland (Remake)
This Is The End
Wedding Crashers
It’s Kind Of A Funny Story
Tropic Thunder
Roll Models
Evan Almighty
The Breakfast Club

Need something to munch on?

Pizza Burger

Amazing Oreo Recipe

Homemade Fruit Rollups

100 Calorie Snacks 

Chocolate Nutella Cake

Chocolate Peanut Butter Brownies

Macaroni and cheese in a mug

Cinnamon roll in a mug

Pizza bagel 

Nutella Stuffed Chocolate Chocolate Chip Cookies 


Brownie in a cup

Cookie in a cup

Pumpkin Brownie Chunk Ice Cream

Peppermint Brownie Pops

Mint Chocolate Cheesecake 

S’mores Muffins

Chocolate Mint Stuffed Cookies

French Toast Rollups 

Chocolate Pudding

Pop Tarts

Hot Chocolate

Vanilla Ice Cream

Chocolate Ice Cream

Chocolate Chip Cookies

Vanilla Cupcakes

Chocolate Chip Cookies Cheesecake 

Bloody Red Velvet Cupcakes 

Rose Apple Pie 

Strawberry Heart Pie 

100 Things You Can Have On a Stick



An evening under the sea by Leo deCandia
Via Flickr:
Under the Sea: Journey of the Little Mermaid in Fantasyland at Magic Kingdom

“I’ll be 23 next year and I’ve never had a significant other or been kissed. I often get sad about it, but going on the Under the Sea-Journey of the Little Mermaid attraction at California Adventure or the Magic Kingdom helps me remember that, just like Ariel and Prince Eric, everyone has their time to find love. It especially makes me happy when I go past the ‘Kiss the Girl’ sequence and see them falling in love. I don’t know why this scene is so special, but it always lifts my spirit.”


NOW THESE are impressive and worthy of being 21st century dark ride figures. I love the expressiveness so much, Under the Sea Journey of The Little mermaid would benefit so much from figures like these. I can’t wait to see how Snow White looks, I hear she is twice as impressive.