under bridge troll

Someone mentioned this term in a lower post where I was being harassed for refusing to argue with someone who I think is an obvious alt-right troll. I’d never heard of it before so off to urban dictionary I ran and man… It’s right on.

You do not have to engage with people like this. You don’t owe every person in your path an explanation.

This happened to me around Christmas. A guy messaged me, called me a dumb bitch, etc. I didn’t engaged with him because, why would I? He kept messaging me demanding why I didn’t respond. Citing his language to me I asked why would I want to.

He said he’d apologize if I would debate with him and answer his questions. I tried debating with him on and off for about a day. Finally it was Christmas Eve and I just realized I was getting no where so I told him that we had to agree to disagree. That angered him and said I’d promised I’d answer his questions. I’d felt like I had as best I could.

I told him again I was done.

He immediately took back his apology, resumed his insults, and essentially said that since I wouldn’t endlessly defend my case I was worthless and everything I said was worthless.

I realized then this whole conversation has been a mistake. He was willing to swear at and insult me and only apologize and show respect if I did everything he said no questions.

That was not respect and it was my mistake for not recognizing it earlier.

I’ll say again… You don’t owe everyone in your path an explanation. If you do decide to engage someone it can be on your terms.

Your worth and your beliefs don’t have to be validated by every troll under the bridge.

Pittsburgh Gothic
  • You’re waiting for the 61D. A 61A goes past. A 61A goes past. A 61A goes past. A 61A goes past. 
  • The closer you get to the Squirrel Hill tunnel, the slower everything moves. Cars. People. Particles. It’s cold. Oh god, you’re so cold. 
  • It was raining this morning, now it’s sunny outside. You check the thermometer, and it reads sixty. Better salt your sidewalk, gonna snow tonight.
  • You dropped a rock in that pothole on Brookline, and waited to hear it hit the bottom. You’re still waiting.
  • The sidewalk is getting steeper and steeper. Now there’s stairs. You climb and climb and climb. Look, a mountain goat. 
  • Your GPS tells you to take a sharp right to stay on Forbes. Your GPS tells you to take a slight left to stay on Forbes. Your GPS tells you to hit the man in the suit to stay on Forbes. Hit the man. Hit him. 
  • No one goes to Carlow University.
  • Bleeding? Buildings don’t bleed, don’t be silly. That’s just the steel rusting.
  • An orange sign just ahead of you reads “End Road Work.” You laugh, and see another sign. “Please. Please, I have children. End it.”
  • They built a bridge under the bridge to keep the bridge from falling on the other bridge under that bridge. The trolls are confused. Where can they live?
  • Someone said that if you fall in the Mon, when you climb out, your skin will peel off. Ridiculous. No one escapes the Mon. 
  • You’re trying to get home, but every single street is a one way that takes your further and further away. Where is home? What is home? 
  • They say the steel mills poisoned the air and killed the sky. Is that why it weeps? Whenever thunder roars, you swear you can hear a sob. 
  • A man is stabbed with a bottle outside the bar, and ichor the color of tar drips from between his fingers, flecked with gleaming yellow. He bleeds black and gold. The gutters overflow with black and gold. Steelers going to the superbowl.
  • You woke up and found U P M C etched into your wrist. You went to UPMC physician, and he sent you to UPMC Shadyside. They checked you out and said it’s nothing serious. Good thing you have UPMC healthcare, could have been pricey otherwise. 
  • The guy at Phipps laughs when you ask him what they use for fertilizer and shows you big bins of mulch in the back. Pitt students keep disappearing. The bins are never empty for long. 
  • The treasure map reads “Turn left at the big church, then go straight till you see a PNC.” Thirty souls set out to find it, each took a different path. None returned. 
Adverbially Yours, Part 1

Based on this post here. This post is part 1 of 3.

Don’t get me wrong. Stephen King is a god of writing. He is the Homer of America, and I mean the Greek Homer, not the Simpson Homer. Every one of you should acquire a copy of On Writing and read it multiple times over the entire rest of your lives.

But in an effort to punch you in the face with the rules of good writing, God King Stephen skips some of the subtleties of the craft that will also make you a better writer. Not because these ways of breaking the rules become rules themselves, but because they help you analyze and edit your own work.

So let’s meet under the troll bridge and discuss the scary monsters that are adverbs.

What He hath said:

3. Avoid adverbs.  

“The adverb is not your friend. Consider the sentence “He closed the door firmly.” It’s by no means a terrible sentence, but ask yourself if ‘firmly’ really has to be there. What about context? What about all the enlightening (not to say emotionally moving) prose which came before ‘He closed the door firmly’? Shouldn’t this tell us how he closed the door? And if the foregoing prose does tell us, then isn’t ‘firmly’ an extra word? Isn’t it redundant?”

What King points out is not the evil of adverbs, but the evil of throwaway adverbs.

“He closed the door firmly” isn’t terrible, but the poor sentence can barely hold onto the word “firmly,” leaving it hanging over the reader’s mental cliff. Especially when they come out of nowhere, adverbs stand out, crying for attention. They leave your readers wondering why you used them.

There are two ways to avoid the dangling adverb here. As King suggests, your readers should know that your character – let’s call him Barry – is going to shut that door with physical and emotional strength and finality. Let’s assume your readers already know Barry is a chiropractor with a booming practice and a loving extended family who demand more of Barry’s time than they should.

Try this:

“If you were so unhappy, why didn’t you leave sooner?” Barry said the words, but he already knew the answer. He knew David stayed because Barry was a good dog father and a solid citizen type that everyone envied. It had made coming out and announcing the marriage that much easier, especially to David’s conservative parents.

Now, they’d both have to admit failure. Barry’s family would understand. They’d seen enough of their own marriages go awry. He could already hear his mom: “Take time to heal and then get back out there. You’ll find your true love, I know it. If you sell the house, you can always come back home, dear.”

But this was the end of true love for Barry. At least he’d get to keep Duck (the dog).

David would have a much harder time by admitting defeat. His mother would claim her prayers were answered; his sister would give him the name of a good therapist – one of those who would subversively try to “cure” him of his “destructive” desires. Yet David was going to go home to them anyway.

“Bar, you know why I’m leaving. You’ve always known.” David turned and walked out the front door.

“I do,” Barry whispered when David was halfway down the front walk. He fought off the urge to call him back, because he knew David was right. Then he closed the door.

=====

And we know he closed it firmly. Barry has seen the end of the marriage, and he knows why. He knows David isn’t coming back. We know he has the physical strength to shut the door. He fights off his last urge to stave off the inevitable.

When that door closes, everything changes. It has to be done firmly.

Suppose, however, you don’t have that much lead in before you get the itch to write a dangling adverb. There are ways to deal with that, too, depending on the scenario and the characters. Maybe you’ve already laid out their personalities; maybe closing that door is how you’ll telegraph characterizations to come.  

“Barry closed the door, then jiggled the knob to make sure the latch had caught” or “He closed the door and pushed on it to make sure it stayed shut.” These say something about the character. He needs surety, finality.

“He closed the door, then opened and closed it again to make sure it stayed shut.” The door represents Barry’s reluctance to let David go, then his acceptance that he’s going to leave regardless. Unless of course the door is broken and it needs to be shut multiple times to stay shut, and Barry had promised David he’d fix it, but he was always working and came home tired and spent the past two weekends with his sick father, etc …  

“Barry took a deep breath to calm himself, then closed the door.” He shuts it while still harboring anger or agitation.

“He slammed the door shut.” If you need the direct approach.

In these examples, the door, and the act of closing it, have become an important symbol for the relationship. In your writing, it might not always be this obvious … but when it is, you’ll want to make sure you avoid using throwaway adverbs.

But if it helps, write “He closed the door firmly” on your first draft. THIS IS WHY WE TELL YOU FIRST DRAFTS ALWAYS SUCK.

Next up: dialogue tags, aka, “she said, adverbially.”

– Aliya

bts reaction to their kid asking how babies are made

this was so fun to write lmao, i probably laughed at my own jokes for a good five minutes??,,, i also stole one of the jokes from liza koshy bc she’s my actual mom? 

thank you sm to @mymisstina for requesting this! i hope you enjoy!  ♡ ♡

jin

You would probably be cuddling on the couch with your kid, Jin on the other end. He’d be telling some dumb pun he found on the internet five minutes prior, and of course, your child would die laughing, even though he didn’t understand it, his dad’s laugh would be the trigger to the little boy’s giggles. The only issue, the pun Jin made was about kids were made (which was a topic you both avoided at all costs). 

“Mommy, how are babies made?” Your face would turn beet red, while Jin had the biggest smirk on his face. “Well, daddy has a plug, and mommy has an outlet. When mom looks especially ho-” His sentence would basically be interrupted by you flinging a pillow at his face. 

Anyway, mommy has a plug, daddy has an outlet, sparks fly!”

Originally posted by bwiseoks

yoongi

Your son usually didn’t cause you much stress. Like his father, he was generally quiet (occasionally as crazy as his father) and didn’t run around causing trouble. So when the question of how babies were made popped up, it was safe to say you and Yoongi were surprised. You exchanged multiple looks, trying to telepathically decide who was going to answer.

“Sex.”

Your eyes bulged out of your head, mentally cursing at Yoongi. He had a calm look on his face like he wasn’t affected at all by the answer he gave. “What’s sex?”

You scooped your child up from your couch, bringing him to his room. You were sat in there with him for a good hour, struggling to explain that his dad was actually insane and that sex wasn’t a concept that existed. After that, all your son knew was that he was brought to your doorstep by a large bird.

Originally posted by yoongiyi

hoseok

“Daddy, how are babies made?”

Your little girl was definitely a handful at times, like her father, she was extremely loud and full of energy. You and Hoseok had absolutely no idea how she thought of the question, or why she decided she wanted to ask. It was a conversation you didn’t think you needed to have until she was older but at four years old, she was extremely intelligent.

Hoseok had no clue how to answer the question, and you were too amused by the look on his face to even think about helping him out. “Uh, well- we found you under a bridge. Yeah, we found you under a bridge. With trolls!”

It was safe to say your daughter ran out of the room crying, screaming that she would never talk to you or Hoseok ever again. It was also safe to say Hoseok slept on the couch that night.

Originally posted by yourpinkpill

namjoon

“You never told me how I was made, daddy”.

Namjoon practically sprinted out of the room when your daughter blurted out the sentence. Fortunately, you caught hold on his sweater and pulled him back to his seat at the table. “Go on, Joonie. Explain,” he could basically hear the smirk on your face. 

Namjoon cleared his throat a total of six times before talking. “You’re stalling.” The glare towards you was menacing but made you laugh nonetheless. “Well, your mommy and I love you very much and- you’re adopted.”

You choked on your pizza at his reply. Your daughter was on the verge of tears, who wouldn’t be when their father tells them that they’re not their real kid? “Namjoon!”

“This is why you don’t ask me things!”

Originally posted by rapnamu

jimin

Jimin was the sweetest father and husband anyone could ever ask for. His patience was extremely high, and he treated your daughter with so much love. It was no surprise when he gave your daughter the purest and sweetest answer to her question. Your heart almost melted.

“When two people love and trust each other enough, they like to show each other how much they really do love them. We decided we wanted to and after nine months you popped out! Now we have another person to show all our love to!” 

After that response, you decided you wanted to show Jimin just how much you loved him, which he appreciated very much. 

Originally posted by jikookshandshake

taehyung

It’s no secret that Taehyung is amazing with kids, but with awkward situations, not so much. Whenever you two were in an uncomfortable situation, Taehyung always counted on you to get him out of it. 

But he was on his own this time. 

You were busy with work and Taehyung was left alone with your adorable, but way too curious son. They were calmly playing with your son’s stuffed animals, but of course, that didn’t last long. “How was I made?”

At first, Taehyung didn’t understand what the hell that meant. “What do you mean?”

“How was I made, daddy? How are babies made?”

He so desperately wished you were there with him to save him from the whole situation. He hadn’t thought about it before, he didn’t expect the question to be asked so early. He also thought you were going to do all the talking.

“We got you in the mailbox.”

Originally posted by toughchim

jungkook

Jungkook freaked out when your child asked the both of you this question. “Where did she learn that? Why is she asking? Is this what preschool is doing to her?”

Tons of questions, to which you also didn’t know the answer to.

“Dude, one question at a time please!”

Jungkook spent ten minutes running around your house trying to find a clean pair of pants before running out of your home. He found the situation very awkward and just decided that he wanted no part in it, leaving you to do all the work.

You’d later find out that he escaped to Jin’s house- only to end up in another one of his famous arguments with the eldest. “Jungkook”, you’d yell at him through the phone. “You better get your ass home before I cut your tiny little pe-”

“I am not coming home until she forgets about that! It took me a year to get the balls to say I wanted to have sex with you, how do I explain that to a four-year old?”

Originally posted by phanunicorn

3

Tagged by @old-long-john and @dimplesflint in the lock screen/last song/last selfie meme.

Luckily for me, my last selfie isn’t terrible. It’s from a rare night out. This is also NOT my room, but it has the biggest mirror in the house and I was sending a pic of my outfit to my friend so they could help me decide which hat to wear with it 😂

And yes I’m one of the last people in the world who still uses Pandora apparently. It’s great and I don’t care. Everyone can fight me.

Tagging: I’m pretty sure everyone whose face I wanna see has already been tagged so…

Walking on eggshells.. or onion skins.

I know most bananas think these anti Onision blogs are just some sad lonely haters living under bridges in our troll caves, but I really hope they take a good long look at what he’s done to that ex-patron he felt the need to dox and call mentally retarded.

She wasn’t attacking him. She wasn’t a hater. She was paying five dollars a month to him. She was a fan and liked him enough to give her money to him and was merely trying to help him understand WHY some people might have taken his words in a different way.
She still agreed with him, she was on HIS side.

And yet.. we see how he responded.

So let this be a lesson little bananas! You better be very very careful with Master Gregory the almighty onion king. You better tippy toe around that sensitive little (HA..little..) ego of his. Don’t you dare try to explain anything to his all-knowing mind! Or else YOU COULD BE NEXT! and suddenly you’re being mocked and bullied on twitter by him and all his ~TrUe FAnS~

But seriously.. do you think it’s okay or healthy to have to walk on eggshells with your little YouTube idol? This is a grown man letting people MUCH younger than himself set him off into spiraling rage rants on twitter. Do other youtubers treat their fans this way? Especially PAYING fans? Just think about it for a bit. That’s all I’m really asking. Critical thinking is a big part of learning and growing. Y'all should try it out sometimes. 👍

Trollhunters Gem AU - Cracked

Summary: Jim’s gemstone is cracked during the Battle of the Bridges, and he throws any semblance of humanity to the wind in order to finish the fight

Toby had watched as it happened.

When Jim was locked in combat with Bular under the bridge, the troll had picked him up and slammed him, gem-first, against one of the beams. The effect had been immediate. Jim’s entire body had flickered upon impact, a clear sign that his gem had been damaged.

They were too far away to help. They had only been able to watch as the Lapis Lazuli that had been chosen as Trollhunter struggled to fight off the vicious Gumm-Gumm, and watch they did. They saw as Jim out-maneuvered his enemy, stabbing him in the chest and sending him plummeting through burning sunlight and into the canal. Jim was victorious, but the ominous flickering of his form reminded them that he hadn’t emerged unscathed.

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Mythological & Fantasy things i want to see more of

Fey and Fae which are actual tricksters and jerks, like they originally were

Non “Traditional” angels, aka angels that aren’t just humans with wings, give me some good old fucked up angels with millions of wings, faces and whatever else

Nordic Trolls, not your standard “troll who lives under a bridge” thing, these trolls are cool, live out in the forest and can shapeshift into rocks or trees, also known to steal or swap children with humans to teach them lessons

Non christian demons, y’know the ones that are fey, there’s lots of fiends which are fey or fey related and those could use some more attention like their very religiously tied cousins

Cool uncommon beasts, like Alphyns, Ampherbanes, Bunyips, Rocs, Manticoras, all those beasts you rarely see or hear of today unless you deliberately go searching for them

Harpies which aren’t just angels with taloned feet, like come on, also harpies without arms and non human bodies, need more of those

Non sexualised female monsters, like this goes for the fully female species as well, or the ones that by tradition are meant to attract people, sometimes you don’t have to be “sexy” to accomplish that, besides it’s just old by now

Trans monsters and beasts!

Magic not being an underdeveloped or underestimated element of the world, so many fantasy worlds take magic for granted, give it some explanation as to why it exists and make it important - unless the point is that it’s common

World building that actually explains the majority of elements in its world, like why does this work? What’s this for? How does life go here? There’s so many things people look over and it leaves many holes and questions which could be solved if a little more thought was put into it

More original beasts, sure it’s fun to see mythological things and things inspired by it, but completely original monsters and beasts rock - or interpretations of already existing monsters which are unique or new, those are neat too

Feel free to add more things if you want, this is just stuff i want to see more of though

“And we came here to dance”, Norway said and smiled, “also, I believe I was supposed to be courted today or at least seduced. Are you going to start soon, or should I take a lead?”

“Of course, my love”, Denmark said with a grin, “may I have this dance?”

What is this? New chapter? Already now?!

Yes, thanks to high motivation and a plot that amuses me with no limits, the fourth chapter is already here. Thank you for all reviews for giving me so much motivation to keep writing even when my wrist is hurting a bit :)

The plot is getting clearer….

The Womanly way, ch. 4: Being a Dancer
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12687233/4/The-Womanly-way

Every time I see a list of “kinds of witches” I just wanna reblog it and finish it with “here a witch, there a witch, everywhere a witch witch”

Then I think that would probably be rude so I don’t do it.

MBTI Types as Fictional Creatures

Since INFPs are usually seen as the fairytale, daydreaming types, I figured I would use my knowledge of fantasy creatures and make a list that proves all the types can be mythical creatures, Enjoy!
*Note: Obviously not to be taken seriously. Just wanted to make it clear this is a joke. In addition, there are a lot of creatures out there and it’s almost 11pm where I live and I’m kind of tired, so the list is kind of short. Ya’ll can reblog and add unto the list if you want.

Fi-doms (INFP+ISFP) - Fairies/Pixies, Unicorns, Mermaids, Sirens, those cute creatures no one takes seriously until it’s too late.
Te-doms (ESTJ+ENTJ) - Manicore, Dragons, Griffins, Hydra, big scary creatures that need to be conquered.
Ti-doms (INTP+ISTP) - Sphinx, Trolls (under bridges), the creatures that give the riddles or are extremely wise.
Fe-doms (ESFJ+ENFJ) - Mythical gods/goddesses (let’s get it straight, they either help you or manipulate you. ex: Zeus, Hera and the entire greek family) plus genies.
Ni-doms (INFJ+INTJ) - Graeae, Oracles, creatures that know what the future holds.
Se-doms (ESTP+ESFP) - Redcaps, Minotaurs, Werewolves, Vampires, creatures that can definitely kill you. 
Si-doms (ISFJ+ISTJ) - Leshy, Nymphs/Satyr, guardians of nature.
Ne-doms (ENTP+ENFP) - Kitsune, Púca, Kelpie, Shapeshifters in general.

INTP Rant #1
  • Person: Hi!
  • Me: Hello. (Ne activates) Blah blah blah?
  • Person: Blah blah.
  • Me: Oh, blah blah blah (Fe)... blah (Ne follow-up)?
  • Person: Blah blah blah, blah blah blah, blah blah blah, blah blah blah, ... blah, blah blah blah...NONSTOP
  • Me: (Thinking: Oh Dear GOD, what did I begin? Why won't you shut up? I've surely given you body language signs that you're boring now... stop talking, please stop talking! Zoning out in 3... 2...)
  • Person: ... Blah blah, blaaaah, blah blah blah, ...
  • Me: Mmm hm... (nod, nod, not make eye contact) x repeat
  • [At the end]
  • Person: Let's talk again!
  • Me: Sure. (Thinking: NO WAY IN HELL, PAL.)
  • Energy Level: WARNING, WARNING, WARNING! ENERGY CRASH IN 5 SECONDS! GET TO NEAREST SHADE OR BRIDGE! HIDE FROM HUMANS!
Ice Troll

Smaller and leaner than other trolls, ice trolls make up for it with raw cunning and adaptability. Slightly smarter and stronger-willed than their cousins, these trolls are more willing to carry and use weapons than their kin, though they often resort to their wickedly effective teeth and claws in the heat of battle. Their intellect and control of their hunger for the flesh of humans means ice trolls can sometimes be found in the employ of those wicked or rough enough to ignore their more anti-social habits, and if you want trolls walking down the street in your campaign instead of just lurking under the bridge, ice trolls are an excellent choice. Most of the same troll heft (they have slightly less regeneration and significantly less Constitution, although the Tome of Horrors stat block has some DR to make up for it), more smarts, and an interesting way of straddling of the divide between town and wilderness makes ice trolls a great way to customize your setting or throw know-it-all players for a loop.

Possessing a dire fascination with fire, the ice troll Zelaji pursued the arts of alchemy to become an expert at brewing up searing bombs, pockmarking his flesh with burn scars from his many experiments. The alchemist also has a talent for fiendish extracts but he lacks much interest in poison, which has little power against trolls. With little taste for manflesh, Zelaji prefers the taste of gnomes, eagerly interrogating any who show magical skill in their manic studies before devouring them to gain their fey essence. He’s always wanted to catch and eat a Bleachling, though, and the opportunity to do so will have him howling with delight before downing his mutagen and erupting into a raging eagerness to scoop up the morsel.

When their brokered transport is overdue, a mercenary band purchases passage to their next combat ticket on a small transport bound for the frontier. Among them are several ice trolls, powerfully built and with equally powerful appetites, cutting deeply into the usual stores when the purser fails to anticipate their hunger. As the Drift passage lingers, tensions begin to flare over short supplies, and things begin to broil when one of the human mercenaries accuses the trolls of wanting to eat him, erupting into a brawl in the converted cargo hold the mercenaries have turned into a makeshift bunk room.

Rather more civilized than most trolls, the small family of ice trolls that operates Stormpass Bridge funds themselves with quite reasonable tolls to pay for the upkeep of the bridge and a bit of profit on the side. (The sign that they reserve the right to kill and eat freeloaders tends to discourage merchants from testing their patience.) Now, though, they have reached out to an adventuring party that passes over their bridge occasionally in a sending, hoping for help against the dwarven bandits armed with flasks of fire and acid who want Stormpass Bridge for themselves.

- Tome of Horrors Complete 612 and Bestiary 2 271

If Only

Chapter One

I’m trying out a Zootopia story that I came up with. it’s my first attempt at writing a fanfic so you’ll have to forgive the messy structure and all that other stuff. I don’t think anyone else has a story quite like this one, though some may be similar, there’s simply no way to tell. Anyhow, here we go. 

                           —————————————————

As the sun drifted slowly but surely over the horizon, the great city of Zootopia began to awake from its nighttime slumber; if you’d consider any city to be truly asleep during the night, that is. It has been just over a month since Nicholas Wilde moved in with his ZPD partner, best friend, and mate, Judy Hopps. Or to put it more accurately, they had both moved into one apartment that could fit more than just her small bed, nightstand, and desk.

This apartment was much larger in comparison, enough to house a bed fit for two, a couch, coffee table, and a television. It had a small kitchen and an even smaller bathroom. It was home sweet home; especially for Nick, who had been living partly under a bridge like a troll, and having sleepovers with Finnick in has van for the better part of his life. Judy appreciated the additional living space as well. Having grown up with around three hundred siblings, it had always been a rarity to have her own space.

When Nick opened his eyes, he was startled to see a cute little bunny staring back at him. Her eyes widened quickly as she realized he’d caught her in the act of watching him sleep, again. Nick relaxed as he put on his signature smirk that he knew she loved so much. His voice still sounding slow and groggy as it always did in the morning.

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