People with Moon-Saturn aspects really struggle with expressing their emotions. They usually feel like there is always something wrong with their emotions to where they won’t express them. They could think that their emotions are a burden to others, too embarrassing, whatever it is. The usual excuse is usually associated with the native’s surroundings and environment, especially if the environments happens to have very strong norms and structures.
Emotions fall under the Moon. Emotions are raw, genuine, and potentially passionate. These three things don’t work well with society because it’s usually seen as a tedious burden that can be too uncomfortably true to handle. Emotions constantly sway and lack reason and structure, which is what keeps society alive. Capricorn, who is ruled by Saturn and naturally rules the 10th House, represents society. Emotions are the force that drives societies into chaos. Rebellions usually start with strong emotions after all.
With that being said, people with Moon-Saturn aspects will need to realize that their emotions will never be suited or accommodating to society, unless they filter them. Emotions will never fit any structure. Emotions are the medium used by water signs, and water will always flow through the cracks. With that being said, Moon-Saturn natives need to learn that they should may as well express their emotions healthily instead of suppressing them.
The beautiful thing about emotions is that there isn’t a “right” way to feel them, which is what Moon-Saturn individuals need to realize. They can cry the ugliest, loudest, and obnoxious tears and it’ll still be okay because it is beautifully genuine and true.
Society is constructed from images. Images are never completely true, and the truth, which stems from emotions, are a threat. To express your emotions is a blessing and a way to freely express your individuality.
Summary: You were the typical girl with big dreams who moved to the city as soon as she had the chance, and somehow ended up in the wrong part of town - but you manage to get swept up in an entirely different situation than you’d planned. (1 / 2/ 3/4 /5) Scenario: mafia!AU/hacker!AU Word Count: 5,165
Summary- You help Reggie with his homework and he writes things in the playbook about you. When you find out, you are a mess. Jughead, your friend, tries to help you and stuff goes down.
Warnings- kissing, fluff, crying, angst?
A/N- hey hey hey! I’m actually really proud of this so I hope you like it! There will be a part 2 to this!!
It was a cold Monday morning. The clouds were drizzling rain and the air smelled of dew. You walked on the school grounds with your friend, Jughead. His raven hair was tucked inside of his beanie as usual, a few stray locks coming out of the sides. His clothes were dark too, as usual.
“Hello Wednesday Addams! Hello Y/N!” A taunting voice came from behind you.
You turned around to see Reggie, a player on the football team. He wasn’t very nice, he always made fun of Jughead. It made you sad to see.
“What do you want?” Jughead said with a bored sigh.
“Ah, nothing emo boy.” Reggie started, “I just wanted to know if I could borrow your girlfriend for a moment.” He pointed at you.
“She’s not my girlfrien-” He said but was cut off by Reggie.
“Great! Hey Y/N, come here.” Reggie pointed at you as you mouthed a ‘sorry’ to Jughead and followed him a few steps away from the annoyed Jughead
“What do you want Reggie?” You ask, crossing your hands over your chest.
He looked around awkwardly before saying, “Do you want to meet me at Pop’s after school?”
“What? Why? You have never been nice to me or any of my friends.” You say.
He sighed and then explained, “Look it’s not gonna be a date or anything… need a tutor. My mom is making me get one. You are the valedictorian, right?”
You looked around as you hear the bell ring, “Yeah, whatever, fine. I’ll meet you there at four.” You told him before making your way to class.
You quickly caught up with your friends in the halls.
“What was that all about?” Jughead asked .
“Reggie wants me to tutor him.” You replied.
Veronica scoffed, “Why?”
You looked over at her and sighed, “I’m the valedictorian and his mom is making him get a tutor.”
“Why didn’t you just say no? He’s a jerk.” Betty reminded you.
“Yeah I know. But if I said no, he may have been mad and tried to get back at us.” You answered.
Later that day at Pop’s you met Reggie. You helped him with his homework and tutored him on all the subjects. When you got done he thanked you and walked out.
“Well that wasn’t so bad.” You said to yourself as you exited the diner.
Little did you know what was coming next.
The next day at school you felt like everyone was staring at you. You didn’t know why.
“Kev, I feel like everyone is staring at me today.” You tell Kevin who is sitting next to you in the library during free period.
“It’s probably not for anything bad, they’re probs just admiring your bomb outfit!” He exclaimed pointing out your casual floral dress with a bomber jacket.
“Yeah, I don’t know.” You say and continue to go through your chemistry notes.
All of the sudden you hear a whistle come from across the room. A group of football players are looking straight at you, whistling and cat-calling you.
“What the-” You begin to say before Kevin cuts you of with a shout at the boys.
“Leave her alone you Neanderthals! Go throw a ball or something!” He yells at them.
An eruption of ‘ooo’s come from the boys as they walk out of the library laughing.
You were shocked. Nothing like that had ever happened to you before. Today was really strange.
“What just happened?” You asked Kevin, your face bright red.
Kevin groaned, “Just some idiots looking for easy pickings. Look, Y/N, don’t let it bother you.”
But you couldn’t shake off the feeling that something wasn’t right.
Suddenly, Jughead and Archie appeared in front of your table.
“Hey guys.” You said, looking up from your notes.
“Hey, Y/N, we need to tell you something.” Archie says looking at Jughead.
Your stomach dropped, what was going on?
“It’s about Reggie. He’s been spreading- rumors and stuff.” Jughead said uncomfortably.
“What? What kind of rumors?” You asked nervously.
“Rumors about you doing stuff… Like romantic stuff with him.” Archie shifted uncomfortably.
“That’s not true right?” Jughead said quickly.
“No! of course that’s not true!” You exclaimed.
You couldn’t believe it. Reggie had played you. Reggie had made up horrible rumors about you.
“And that not all…” Archie said, “A bunch of the idiots on the football team keeps a record of points… for stuff like this. And your in it.”
Archie pulled out a ragged book and flipped to the page that had been last written on .
that smart one: 6 points.
“oh my god.” You whispered, tears coming to your eyes.
“Y/N im so sorry.” Jughead says reaching for your arm, but you jerk away.
You got up and ran out of the building.
Tears streamed out of your eyes as you neared the parking lot. You quickly jumped into your car. You sat there for a while, letting tears stream out of your eyes. The tears soaked your shirt.
Someone was tapping the window. You looked over to see Jughead bent over to the passenger side window looking inside.
“Go away.” You sniffle, burring your face in your knees.
“Please let me in, Y/N.” Jughead said with a sad look on his face.
“No.” You croaked.
“Please.” Jughead pleaded, trying to open the locked door.
“Just leave me alone. I don’t want to talk.”
You sighed and opened the door, letting him in.
He climbed into the passengers side and looked at you.
“Y/N, im so sorry this happened.” He said and put his hand on your arm.
“I-I don’t know what to do,” You stammered, a single tear coming from your bloodshot eye.
“It’s ok… I’ll take care of this.” He responded, softly.
He then took you into a tight hug, you sobbed into his shoulder. His jacket was soaked from your tears, but he didn’t care.
Once you could feel the tears letting up you looked up at Jughead. He was so caring. So sweet. He was there for you.
All of the sudden something took over you and you leaned into Jughead, kissing him straight on the mouth.
For a second he didn’t do anything, he was too shocked. But then he kissed you back.
You then tore away quickly, realizing what you were doing. You were KISSING one of your best friends.
“Oh my god.” You whispered, “I’m sorry!”
But he didn’t seem mad, just surprised and confused.
He didn’t even respond, he fumbled with the door and got out of the car.
“Wait!” You yelled, getting out to.
But he had already run out of the parking lot, and into the school.
Thought I’d surprise you guys with an early post for today, Hope you all had a good week.
“It’s him.” You pointed at Kyungsoo without any hesitation.
Your heart was thumping against your chest; the traitor was staring right at
you. It was him. You were scared that maybe he would hurt you for piping up but
you had to let the others know.
“What?” Baekhyun breathed, everyone turned to look at
Kyungsoo eyes wide. It was silent for a while all you could hear was heavy
“Please tell me this is a hoax Kyungsoo.”
“Of course it’s not me.” Kyungsoo spat. “Why would I be
working for the people that paralysed me?”
There were a few approving grunts around the room, Kyungsoo
had a plausible argument.
“I don’t know. Luhan seems like a tech genius maybe he
offered you mechanical legs in exchange for our lives.” You shrugged. Your shoulders were shaking slightly. It felt so wrong accusing Kyungsoo, but you
couldn’t erase what you had seen in the board.
“I don’t understand why you’re even accusing him, how do you
know it’s him?” Jongin raised a brow in your direction, causing everyone else
to do the same.
“Because I saw him talking to someone on his laptop and it
looked really dodgy. When I asked him who it was he wouldn’t tell me and then
he left the room.”
Everyone turned their heads to look at Kyungsoo now, confusion setting deep
into the creases of their foreheads. You weren’t really sure what you had been
expecting to happen next, but you definitely thought that it would have been
more than this. Everyone was still staring at Kyungsoo in silence, apart from
Jongin who had left the room and entered with a laptop.
“If you’re not working with him then prove it.” Jongin
placed the laptop on Kyungsoo’s lap and stepped back an inch of two. “Prove
that who you were talking to wasn’t Luhan. No funny business, we’re watching
you.” He said using his finger to point at all of you in the room.
Kyungsoo turned to frown at you and waited for his laptop to
start, opening the video call application on the side bar, he hit the redial button
automatically calling the last person he had contact with. Everyone shuffled
around slightly so as not to be in camera shot. You were shaking where you
stood. Uncomfortably waiting for his true identity to be revealed. But then you
frowned deeply, taken aback. That face did not belong to Luhan.
It belonged to a female.
Her voice was soft and delicate as she began to speak ever
“Kyungsoo? Is everything okay? It’s kind of late to be
calling. Oh no! Don’t tell me you’re cancelling next week. I won’t be able to
reschedule anytime soon I’m fully booked in for work. I’ve got back-to-back
shifts for a while. Besides, I’ve already picked out my dress for our date.”
She held up a pink item of clothing.
“I thought you’d like it, but since you’re cancelling…” Her face crumpled ever
so slightly as though she were about to cry lowering the pink material in her
“No no!” Kyungsoo interjected quickly, you could hear the
strain in his voice. He was embarrassed. “I’m not cancelling. I just thought of
you so I wanted to know how you were.” His face turned a subtle tinge of red,
but you had noticed regardless, his hands were moving about nervously above the
laptop keyboard. She frowned at him.
“Are you sure you’re okay Kyungsoo?”
“Yeah. Yeah I’m fine, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have called this
late I’m such an idiot. I’ll see you next week okay.”
She giggled in response and nodded her head before disconnecting the call. The
room was silent for a moment everyone was staring at the blank screen. It
appeared you had been wrong.
“I told you it wasn’t me.” Kyungsoo hissed angrily wheeling
himself out of the room. You bit your lip anxiously, you weren’t really sure
what you had just done.
“Kyungsoo? On a date?” Yixing breathed, marvelled at the
concept. Kyungsoo most definitely wasn’t that type of man; he didn’t have an
interest in other people especially not girls. You felt bad and began to run
towards his room on the ground floor, swinging his door open. He sat there with
his back facing you.
“Kyungsoo…I…I’m so sorry I didn’t know. I just assumed…” You
took a deep breath. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
He spun around in his chair angrily, looking up at you
through dark lashes, his brows furrowed together.
“Because I was embarrassed about the situation! Besides, we’re
just talking and seeing how things turn out. It’s nothing serious for the time
being. I thought I was entitled to a little privacy in this house but obviously I was wrong!”
His face was red now and he began to bang his hands on the arms of his chair.
It was never your intention to make Kyungsoo so angry and blame him for
something he didn’t do, but you thought you were sure about what you had seen.
“Kyungsoo I’m really sorry. I’m sorry for pinning this on
you I just thought you were doing something…unusual.” You bit your lip in an
attempt to hold back tears that were threatening to roll down your cheeks. Kyungsoo
let out a heavy sigh and relaxed in his seat, his facial features softening.
worry about it. I just didn’t want to say anything because I’m worried about
how this will all turn out. I’m scared for dragging her into this. But I feel
selfish and want to drag her down at the same time, because I feel like I need
someone and it’s not fair on me. She’ll just have to get used to it, you did
right? Besides, I need to get married one day, and then all of a sudden I feel like I’m evil
for thinking that way. But I just feel as though if I had something like you
and Minseok have… I’d be content.” He looked down at his legs and sighed. “She
doesn’t see me as a ‘paralysed; wheelchair-bound man’. She sees me as Do
Kyungsoo, and I admire her for that. I don’t feel invalid when I’m speaking to
Your heart felt warm and you were delighted that Kyungsoo was trying to move on and be happy with his life, but you were not blind to the risks either. It was
true that it was unethical to bring her into this without her consent. You sighed
heavily shrugging your shoulders.
“I don’t know Kyungsoo; maybe you’ll just have to see how
things map out, if it’s meant to be it’s meant to be. But when you get
comfortable enough it may be worth telling her. I’ll let you think about it
okay. But definitely go on that date, I think time out of this house would do
you some good.” You smiled, backing out of the room and shutting the door
behind you. You were relieved it wasn’t Kyungsoo, because you were beginning to
like him. But that meant that the person was still lurking around.
“Dinner!” You heard Junmyeon shout from the kitchen. You
felt your stomach lurch and you could’ve been sick.
Junmyeon had been making Broccoli every day since you got here and it was
beginning to make you queasy.
“Again? Enough with the mini trees Junmyeon.” Baekhyun
whined, dropping himself down to sit on a chair.
“It’s good for you. Stop complaining, shut up and eat.”
Junmyeon swatted his head and took his place beside Yuna, before he began to
You reluctantly began shoveling turkey and broccoli into
your mouth, your stomach becoming increasingly unsteady by the second.
“You know, slightly off topic… But lately I’ve been feeling
really lethargic. Like I get a wave of tiredness out of nowhere.” Tao spoke up
from the opposite side of the table; there were days when you forgot he was
there. You still didn’t trust him completely. There were a few nods of
agreement around the table.
“Actually me too.” You raised a brow, realising that you had
also been feeling slightly tired lately.
“That’s only because Minseok’s been working you too hard in
the bedroom.” Jongdae smirked at you lewdly, earning a chorus of laughs from
the room. You were praying that the ground would swallow you up, but of course
that didn’t happen.
“It’s probably the case for Yuna too.”
You looked over at Yuna, who was turning a bright red and
keeping her gaze on her plate.
Suddenly you heard a loud knock on the front door. You all
froze momentarily, putting your knives and forks down. The knock came again.
“I’ll get it.” Jongdae whispered, slowly standing from his
seat removing a gun from his back pocket, he walked slowly out of the room.
Everyone’s eyes were wide; facing the direction Jongdae had just walked to. All
that could be heard was breathing. Then you heard the door open slowly and distant
“Mr. Kim?” Jongdae said, sounding surprised.
“Where’s Junmyeon?” The voice asked. It was stern and spoke
quickly wasting no time. Junmyeon frowned and stood up from his seat. His face
looked confused however he seemed as though he recognised the voice. Jongdae
entered the kitchen followed by a man slightly shorter than Jongin, with dark
hair and a long black coat, sweeping his calves.
“Junmyeon.” The man said. His shoulders broad as he stood
looming over the table.
Junmyeon took a step closer in the man’s direction.
Since I’m crabby about Nerd Shit today: I don’t like when video games try to excuse bad design by saying “this is a game where you’re doing terrible things, so you’re supposed to feel uncomfortable”.
(In context: Metroid II is widely regarded as a badly-designed game, to the point where it’s had two remakes. I haven’t played it, and there’s a case to be made both ways, but this is someone trying to defend it from the accusation that it’s badly designed by saying the bad design is supposed to make you uncomfortable.)
Nier Automata is one of the best-designed, most enjoyable games to play that I’ve seen. The world maps are huge and gorgeous, the combat is tight and satisfying- so satisfying that it’s a joy to watch, I can’t imagine how it must be to play- minigames that don’t completely suck, interesting characters, fun bossfights with Touhou mechanics to shake up your standard RPG formula, and an absolutely godlike soundtrack. I mean all I really need to say is ‘it’s a Platinum game with Yoko Taro in charge of everything but the gameplay’.
Nier Automata has also managed to make me more uncomfortable than almost any game I’ve ever played. It’s on par with the genocide route of Undertale– which is specifically designed to be unfun and to make you feel like a monster.
Undertale enemies keep attacking you regardless of whether you attack first. ‘Sparing’ them requires surviving a few rounds of combat. In Nier Automata, most of the generic enemies you meet in the first stages are non-hostile unless you attack them first. They just kind of wander around staring at stuff.
Most generic Undertale enemies don’t cry out or beg for mercy as you’re killing them. (Some of the bosses do, but not the regular enemies). In contrast, the Nier Automata enemies say things like “OW” when you hit them, or “hurts…”, and when you try to break up a big group of them… they start chanting. I’m just gonna link you to the soundtrack of the boss battle that follows.
… I’m not saying UNDERTALE IS BAD AND AUTOMATA IS THE BEST GAME EVAR. (Though it’s rapidly become one of my favourites). Undertale is a great game. It’s funny, it’s full of heart, and even though I don’t completely agree with the themes it’s trying to convey, I love the characters and the slightly-off-the-wall world. And while Automata is the game that’s been most on my mind lately, I could have made the same point with, say, Bloodborne. (Great design, fantastically satisfying to play, MASSIVELY UNCOMFORTABLE in true Lovecraftian fashion.) Or the original Thief. (Great design, satisfying as hell to play, makes you so paranoid you can only play it in 15-minute chunks and murdering guards Does Not Feel Good At All).
Good game design can still make the player feel uncomfortable, whether it’s because of dread, oppressive smallness, or ‘oh god what have I done’. Yes, it takes work. But it’s overall better for your players and your game and it makes sure people will remember the experience you’re trying to get across.
Cishet on Tungle: I JUST WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW. THAT STRAIGHT CIS PPL ARE IMPORTANT TOO WE ARE IMPORTANT I JUST WANT ALL OF YOU TO KNOW,, YOU ARE LOVED ,,,,,, I WONT STAND FOR THIS CISPHOBIA AND HETEROPHOBIA
Before you even began
searching for a new place that you and Spencer could call your own, you knew
that the moving process was not going to be an easy one. You weren’t really
sure how you’d amassed so much stuff
in less than ten years, and you really didn’t
want to think about how much stuff Spencer had amassed. You knew that it was
going to be beyond difficult packing, decluttering, and merging your
collections of things.
But you might have
underestimated just how difficult it was going to be.
It is only once the two of you
were left alone in your new place that you realize just how many boxes, how
many pieces of furniture, how much stuff there
actually was. And you aren’t sure what you were going to do with it all.
Emotions are a luxury I/we don't have time for. Rebelcap of course.
Sometimes your name is Sward. Sometimes it is Willix. And maybe if you are lucky, sometimes it is the name your parents gave you.
Sometimes your name is Kestrel. Sometimes it is Lianna. And maybe if you are very lucky, it is never the name your parents gave you.
There is a girl here, in the Rebellion. She has a nice smile and a nice laugh, but your droid says it’s “too loud” and will “surely alert enemies to her presence.” Sometimes she brings you caf. Another time she offers something, because it’s cold here, because you’re lonely, because you’re sixteen and you’ve killed your first man in cold blood and you can’t stop shaking. You accept the offer and the warmth only serves to give you bad dreams, where you drown in blood. You never take her up on that offer again.
There is a boy here, with the Partisans. He’s got broad shoulders and a booming laugh, and constantly being scolded for using it after battle. He’s quick with a blaster and better with bombs and you teach him how to pick locks. Sometimes you catch him looking at you, not with revolutionary zeal, but with something like affection, fondness, speculation. One of his front teeth is chipped but you don’t mind. His bombmaker’s hands are steady and clever with your shirt. You are left in a bunker at sixteen and never see him again.
This is an Imperial uniform and you think you might strangle in it. Your voice is polished, precise and crisply accented; you haven’t used your own voice in ages. You can’t remember the last time anyone said your name, the one your parents gave you. You leave the facility with data tucked into your uniform and no one says your name until your droid says crossly back on your ship, There you are Cassian and you think might you might weep.
This is an imitation shimmersilk dress and it hides the fact you haven’t eaten in three days. You smile dangerously at the smirking smuggler across the table and slide data cards discretely across the table. This is just another job, another face that will be discarded come morning, and by then hopefully, you will be off-planet. The forgeries aren’t your best work, but they’ll pretty good when your materials were utter bantha fodder. You smirk and retort and only once have to make sure the knife you have is still strapped to your thigh. You make it out of that cantina and it’s on, on, on and there hasn’t been any tears left in your for three years.
There is a body in the alleyway. You left it there, with the words planet killer ringing in your ears. You do not believe it. You do not want to believe it. But it rings uncomfortably true after everything that you’ve heard. You run across rooftops and slide down walls and you think, I didn’t have to kill him, I had to kill him, I want to mourn, I have no time for sorrows. Emotions are luxury you cannot afford.
There is an offer here. They broke you out of Wobani, they want you to find Saw, they want you to find your father, and part of you wants to laugh and laugh and laugh until you choke on the furious grief and betrayal and the rest of you wants to spit on the gentle we’ll make sure you go free, but there is no time for that now. You take the offer, you watch the captain and you think, you I will watch, you I will be on the lookout for, you, I want to see where you are at all times. You prefer not to think too closely on why. It’s not something you can afford.
“The time to fight is now–”
“Rebellions are built on hope–”
This is Scarif. You will die here, as surely as anything.
You are not alone, and for this, you are so grateful.