Okay, after reading 500+ Kingsman fics I have observed that: 

  • Roxy is never put on any top ten list regarding Kingsman agents, she is her own category
  • If the fic is in multiple chapters, there is at least one obligatory chapter dedicated to Eggsy and Roxy having a sleepover doused in ice cream, alcohol and movies that they never really pay attention to because they spend most of the time covering topics from their mission related field trips through to Roxy promising Eggsy to kick Harry’s arse because the older gentleman spy did something stupid (again)
  • You do not want to cross Merlin. EVER. Otherwise you will find out just how much damage the man can do with his tablet.
  • Most fics also give Merlin’s real name as Alastair or Graham. Sometimes Ian, Iain or Andrew come into play. And sometimes Merlin is not just a code name, it is his actual name.
  • Former Lancelot, James was most certainly Percival’s lover (either occasional, one time or full time) or husband. 
  • Percival is rarely Roxy’s father but always an uncle or godfather. 
  • Sometimes Arthur dies in far more creative ways than how he died in the movie. 
  • Daisy is a princess, has everyone around her little finger, including on one occassion the Royal Family. 
  • JB owns every single soft place in the house or Kingsman’s mansion. Deal with it. 
  • Bors or Lamorak are in house experts in explosives and poisons respectively.
  • Gawain likes to gamble (very rarely loses though), is dangerously good sniper and pretty much the funniest agent to be around. 
  • Bedivere (unless this code name is given to Eggsy) is almost always a stuck up snob and has a proclivity to be a traitor. 
  • Harry is either superb, five Michelin stars chef or he sucks to the point where his culinary achievements are properly made tea and toast. 
  • This also applies to Eggsy.
  • Eggsy is a smug little shit who likes to show off his parkour skills every time he is paired with another agent that isn’t Harry or Roxy. He is ExtraTM when his mission partner seems to be of the same opinion of him as Arthur or Charlie.
  • Merlin stress bakes and Lord have mercy on your soul if you drink all the coffee and not replace the empty pot with a full one.
  • One or two weeks long missions to Siberia are reserved for agents who displease Merlin.
  • Merlin is also a dog sitter. Really good one. But do not EVER speak of the times you came back from mission and found him on the floor playing with the dogs. You will end up in Siberia.
  • In the event that Harry is not appointed as Arthur, the new Arthur is either really competent, forward thinking person or a total elitist snob who usually schemes on how to get rid of Eggsy and turns out to be a traitor later. In this case, Harry is appointed as new Arthur the moment they get rid of the traitor.
  • Harry as Arthur hates the fuckton of paperwork that keeps finding its way into his office but does it anyway. With breaks when he takes JB for a walk. Sometimes he goes back to the field because he is not even fifty five, damn it, he will go crazy from sitting down all day. In this scenario, he freaks the fuck out of new recruits because this Arthur is not like the old one current Galahad killed. This one is good with paperwork and is absolute champion in the field. Never think damage to his left eye has in any way diminished his skills as a field agent. You will regret it. 
  • Every fic has an obligatory sex in fitting room three. No exceptions. 

Requested by @yjrevolution
John’s daughter (Reader) X Isaiah pregnancy announcement.
Warnings: Fluff, Angst, Cursing, Mentions of Miscarriage.

Ok guys, I had to really sit and do some math for the first time since I graduated high school (joking). Everyone is basically older in this imagine – John is 35, not 29, which in turn makes the other Shelby’s older, except Finn (18) is younger than his niece by a year, and we are just going to go along with it because that’s the only way this imagine works.

Hope you guys enjoy this one! FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED!


You knew you wouldn’t be able to hide your small bump from the family – or Isaiah much longer. You had only popped a few days ago, a small and almost noticeable swell finally made an appearance.

You were about five and a half months along. You knew you should have told Isaiah when the physician confirmed it two months prior, but after already losing a baby -  you wanted to be sure that this one wasn’t going anywhere. You didn’t want to get Isaiah’s hopes up again, only to have them crushed.

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Last train home: part two | Arthur Shelby

Request: @chrystalcaper asked for part two with Arthur x Reader getting the chance to talk.

Request: @theawkwardpedestrian asked if there could be more Arthur Shelby!

Notes: I think I might need a part three for this…

He walked over and you stood, hands smoothed the creases of your skirt before you offered your name, then your hand to shake.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Arthur.”

All Arthur could think was that you had the most incredible eyes he’d ever seen.

He just stood there half dazed as a goofy smile set to his features.

“And you, love.”

He offered his hand to shake before you eyed the crowd of men that stared at you both from the bar. Arthur followed your gaze.

“Don’t mind them, come on, come with me…”

He picked up the delicate china cup that sat on a saucer from the table you’d been sat at. You couldn’t help but smirk as you followed behind him, the cup chattered with the nervous tremble to his hand.

“Who the fucks that, Arthur?”

“Have some fucking respect and mind your own fucking business, John.”

Arthur held the door to the little room of The Garrison for you as you stepped in to sit yourself down. He placed the saucer to the table gently and sat opposite.

“I bet this is strange for you.”

“Why’s that, love?”

“You sat there, instead of here. Me awake and not drooling on you. Oh, God, I didn’t drool, did I?”


You both smiled at each other before you looked down to habitually smooth the creases in your dress. Arthur shuffled his hands beneath him.

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Last Name - John Shelby

Hi could you do a imagine with John finding out one of his little boys is being picked on at school and he gets really angry.

Hi could you please write about John finding out that his kids don’t like the violent side of him and at school don’t like to be called Shelby’s . Thank you x

Last Name - John Shelby

John was insistent that his kids go to school. He had never done well in the institution and Arthur had left before he was eleven but John wanted a better life for his kids so he made them go. Martha was a supporter of education for children and when she was alive always told John that kids these days didn’t get anywhere without good education. Esme didn’t hold as much stock in that belief but she let John do what he wanted. But she also didn’t tell him when she noticed that Will had been absent from school four days in a row.  

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dad!alfie snippets | alfie solomons

this ones for @ateliefloresdaprimavera

“There…hang on, they’ve settled. They’ll move again in a minute”

You held his palm against the side of your stomach, squishing your lips to one side as you waited. Your eyes circled around, feeling for the movement.

“Come on, baba. Whenever you’re ready”

“They don’t like me”

“Shut up”

“No, they never move for me! They move for you all the fucking time, the second I walk through the door, they start playing hide and bloody seek. Can you hear me, eh? I’m talking to you,” he wiggled his fingers against the flat of your skin and you cringed at the tickle “playing silly beggars with your dad, I’m not best plea-ah shit”

His hand flung away from your stomach and he held it in front of him, staring down at the spot on your skin where the kick had landed. You raised your eyebrows, laughing at him.

“You alright there?”

“I don’t know if I like that”

“You don’t know if you like it?”


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More Than Meets the Eye

I don’t own the image, and I don’t own BBC’s Merlin.  Other than that, enjoy!

“Okay.”  Arthur said.  “What the hell was that?”  He pointed at the dark haired man crumpled on the floor.

“That,” Merlin rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.  “That’s my Uncle.”  He said at last.

“And who is your Uncle?” Arthur prompted.

“…King Lot of Essetir.” Merlin hung his head.

“And why is he here?” Arthur was acting like an angry parent.

“Because he tried to kill me?”

“And why did he try to kill you?”  Arthur crossed his arms.

“…Because I’m the rightful heir to the throne of Essetir.” Merlin finished.  The knights were staring dumfounded at the lifeless man.              

“Exactly.  And one more thing?”

“What?” Merlin sighed in exasperation.  Arthur lunged forward and punched Merlin in the shoulder.  Hard.  Merlin recoiled with a shout, cradling his shoulder as he glared at Arthur.  “What was that for?”

“What do you think it was for?!” Arthur shouted.  “Why didn’t you tell us?!” Merlin scoffed.

“And give my Uncle a reason to go to war? Are you kidding?!  I didn’t tell anyone I was here!”

“If you’re the King of Essetir, what are you doing here?” Gwaine asked him.

“My uncle stole the throne.  It was supposed to be my mother’s, but then she met my dad.  He threatened to reveal their relationship unless she abdicated the throne.  But by then I was a baby and living with Pa.” He continued.  “Because I was already born before she abdicated, I’m still next in line.”  Merlin pointed to his uncle with the bloody sword in his hand.  “I guess he found out I was here.”  Everyone was silent.

“So now what?” Leon said after a long moment.  Merlin shrugged.

“I guess I go back.”  He said simply.  “It’s the right thing to do.”  Everyone was silent.  Finally, Arthur sighed and nodded.

“Saddle a horse and provide Mer—His Majesty with any supplies he may need.”

“I’m sorry Arthur, I had to protect our kingdoms.”  Arthur nodded again.

“Don’t worry.  I would’ve done the same thing.“  Merlin sighed in relief. "I’m sending Gwaine and Percival to escort you back to your castle.”  Merlin nodded. 

“Thank you, Arthur,” He held out his hand and the other king shook it.  “For everything.” Arthur smiled.

It had been a week since Merlin had returned to his kingdom, and the coronation ceremony was coming up fast.  Even though he had already officially become King, the council insisted on a ceremony.  A knock on Arthur’s door interrupted his paperwork. “Enter.”  He called. A messenger bearing the crest of Essetir stood in the doorway.

“Pardon the intrusion, Sire, but I come bearing a message from King Merlin of Essetir.”  Arthur nodded and took the scroll from the messenger.

“You’re excused,” He said absent-mindedly.  He heard a faint “Thank you, Sire,” as the door closed.  Arthur quickly unrolled the scroll and read its contents:

King Clotpole,

You are hereby cordially invited to bear witness to the coronation of King Merlin of—This is stupid.  Everything’s so formal!  How did you deal with this; you’re the least formal person I know!  I would’ve come and invited you in person, but apparently kings can’t just do whatever they want.  So thanks for warning me.

I’m also writing to ask if you’d be interested in opening trade between Camelot and Essetir?  You don’t have to write your reply, we can discuss it at my coronation.

Yes, you are coming.  Even if I have to drag you here myself.

Your Friend,


Arthur snickered at Merlin’s unique way of issuing a proclamation, and began making arrangements to clear a few days for Merlin’s coronation.  Until he realized he was missing one teeny, tiny, detail.  Growling in annoyance, he grabbed a piece of parchment and began writing.


You never told me when the coronation is.


Respectfully yours,

King Arthur of Camelot

Thanks to beautygirl701 for requesting this one!

Well, I guess we have to do icebreakers. I’m your uncle Arthur, and I fear bears. Why do I fear bears? Because bears can run at 30 miles per hour and the Los Angeles Zoo is 30 miles away. That means a bear can be outside this door in an hour. Why would a bear be here? Because they can smell fear and I fear them.
—  Arthur Blackthorn, meeting his nieces and nephews for the first time