uncle jimbo

CLYDE: So Tweek? What happened next?

TWEEK: It’s really not that interesting. I told you most of it already.

CLYDE: Yeah but you were super boring and vague. I want details, bro!

TWEEK: I, uh…

CRAIG: Hey guys, there’s a car outside.

CLYDE: What?

CRAIG: I said there’s a car outsid–

JIMBO: DON’T WORRY, YOUR UNEXPECTED PLOT ADVANCEMENT HAS ARRIVED!

JIMBO: I’M FINALLY RELEVANT AGAIN.

STAN: Uncle Jimbo! Finally!

ERIC: It’s Stan’s crazy redneck uncle!

KYLE: How did he get here so fast?

BUTTERS: Oh boy, we’re saved!

KENNY: Mpphh mph!

JIMBO: Now, now. It’s not “crazy redneck,” kid. I prefer “gun-happy conservative.”

ERIC: So you mean a super redneck?

JIMBO: Yes. Exactly.

JIMBO: Now Stanley, I’m not going to ask why– or how for that matter– why you and all of your classmates are up in the middle of the mountains, or why there’s a suspiciously clean yet abandoned bus a mile out.

JIMBO: You’re just lucky you got a hold of me while I was in the neighborhood.

STAN: Does this mean you have guns with you?

JIMBO: Plenty of them, glad you asked.

STAN: You didn’t happen to see any guys wearing ski masks around, did you?

JIMBO: No, but I might have shot a couple of… deer… who may have been suspiciously shaped like a human beings and also were wearing ski masks. On accident, of course.

ERIC: Awesome.

JIMBO: Wow there sure are a lot of you. I don’t even know if I have enough room for–

JIMBO: Oh, Jesus Christ! I’m too late! He’s dead!

JIMBO: I hope he wasn’t anybody important.

JIMBO: Now– now kids, you’re good bud Jimbo here is going to teach you a couple things about disposing of a body–

STAN: Oh, no. That’s just Scott Malkinson.

STAN: He’s got diabetes.

SCOTT: asfkjgfsv

JIMBO: Oh.

JIMBO: Well we need to get out of here and get this boy a chocolate bar, pronto!

CLYDE: That’s Stan’s uncle?

CRAIG: Yeah.

CLYDE: I don’t want to get into a car ride with him. He looks like he smells.

CRAIG: It won’t be any worse than being in a car with you.

CLYDE: Ouch, Craig.

CLYDE: Your comments sting my soul.

((Thanks so much guys for the 2500 followers! And counting! A drawing of the Marsh family because the new ep reminded me of how much I loved them for some reason. I hope I can keep on pleasing you. Thanks again!))

“Trust me Stan, I know what I’m talking about. Lingerie is always the perfect gift to buy. Trust me, it works all the time with your mother. Gets her all turned on and-”

“Eew, Dad. Seriously?”

“Listen to your father, Stanley. He’s right. Lingerie is a man’s best friend. Can’t go wrong with it.”

“Uncle Jimbo, how would you even kn-”

“Stan, just do it. Buy the lingerie.”

“I just don’t think a bra and thong are a good anniversary gift for Kyle.”

Off-screen Post #16

Dear Butters,

I handed this to you directly so that nobody else would read it. Please rip the letter up afterward.

We still don’t have any news on the whereabouts of Kenny. I think we’re just going to have to sit and wait for him to write another letter, if that ever happens.

Despite being in danger of being tracked by Trent, and taking all the necessary precautions to prevent that from happening, I’d say everyone is doing well. We’ve adjusted to our new location. When Stan’s uncle Jimbo heard our story, he allowed us to use his bomb shelter to keep ourselves in a well hidden location. We talked the situation over with our parents, and they allowed it, so long as we don’t use any of the guns out of the appropriate situation.

We’re still going to school, of course. But going home to the shelter means there’s no chance of being attacked in our sleep. 

It still feels really odd just waiting something like this out, but, I prefer it to Cartman’s offered alternative.

We still need to find Kenny as soon as possible, so hopefully we can direct him to the shelter before Trent gets to him. The police are supposedly searching for him, but we know how useless they can be. 

If we could get our friends to form a search party with us, we’d be a lot safer and a lot more effective. So that’s what we’ve been trying to do while we’re out at school.

I really don’t know if it’s working.

Cartman keeps saying that Kenny will be fine without us. But that really is wishful thinking. We need to be more practical in this situation. Trent is a very real threat. He could get any of us. I know you think he’s done with you, or maybe you think you can fight him, but I need you to be sensible. This isn’t something we can choose to ignore or get distracted from.

Trent is bloodthirsty, and he will do whatever it takes to get revenge on us. I wouldn’t put it past him to use you as some kind of bait or torture victim. Please talk to Jimbo. He’ll let you into the shelter.

I know this is hard for you. Probably harder on you than all of us. I know you keep going out on your own and looking for him. But you need to be kept safe as well. So please… don’t be blinded by your emotions.
- Kyle


Arc 2 in order…

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