You See My Noble Ancestry? This Photo Of My Great Uncle Chester…
The Man Riding Him? I Am Sure You All Recogize Him, But I Will Say It Out Of Honor. That Is Julius Ceseor. He Is Smiling Because Uncle Chester Just Help Him Conquer Gaul
When I argue with a sexist, there’s an inevitable point at which he will call me “sweetheart”. (I like to think of it as shorthand for “you’re winning”.) If I’m really making him feel foolish, he may resort to “bitch”. “Ugly” is the last refuge of the hopelessly destroyed.
I’ve been writing about feminism on the internet long enough that these names don’t really bother me. But nothing is more grating than when a man I don’t know - in comments, Twitter or real life - calls me “Jessie”.
It may seem odd that I’d prefer a curse to a cutesy nickname. Like most things men call women when they want to diminish them, “Jessie” is meant to remind me that no matter what I accomplish – the number of books written, articles published, speeches given – I’m still “just a girl”. But it’s the overly-familiar infantilization that really makes my skin crawl. Very creepy Uncle Chester.
The Awakening, my new Klaine AU, will begin on Saturday July 26th (finally!).
Here’s a little preview from the first chapter! Thanks to Brandi for the fantastic cover art!
“God, I can’t believe you’re finally getting married. It’s going to be the wedding of the century,” Rachel clapped her hands together. “I should probably start organizing your bachelor’s party…”
“Please, whatever you do, don’t hire any strippers,” Kurt begged immediately. “They’re so tacky. Let’s just have one of our classic sleepovers and eat cupcakes. I’ll give you and the girls a make-over.”
Merlin is desperately in love with Roxanne Morton, a London
debutante whom he met at a party. So naturally, he’s dismayed when he discovers
that she’s engaged to a wealthy English Lord named Harry Hart. Not giving up,
he pursues Miss Morton to the SS Kingsman, a luxury cruise liner. Along with
him is his close friend and nightclub singer Gary “Eggsy” Unwin, who decides to help
Merlin win the lady’s heart. Also on the ship is infamous gangster Richmond
Valentine and his accomplice, Gazelle; both are on the run from the police, but
once they catch wind of Merlin’s romantic quest, they also decide to help him
out- Valentine, ironically, is a romantic himself.
Only, when they catch up to Roxy, she reveals that she is
also in love with Merlin, and has been unable to stop thinking about him since
the night they met. But she must marry
Lord Hart, for reasons she doesn’t share. Merlin is distraught, but Eggsy comes
up with the idea to ‘break up’ the marriage, by having Lord Hart caught in a
very compromising position- like in bed with a half-naked young man, for
example. This is partly to help Merlin, of course, but Eggsy can’t deny that
the Lord is well fit for a noble, older bloke. And to his surprise, Harry has
also had his eye on Eggsy, so the seduction is fairly easy.
Harry reveals to Eggsy that he doesn’t want to marry Roxy
either, but his overbearing uncle, Chester (also on board the ship), is giving
him no choice on the matter, though he refuses to tell Harry exactly why he
must marry her. Eggsy relays this to Merlin and the others, and they all
resolve to figure out the mystery.
Unfortunately, Valentine and Gazelle are found out, and they
are thrown in the ship’s brig. Merlin and Eggsy and thrown in as well, since
they were accomplices. Roxy gives a letter to Merlin in the brig before the
ship lands. Upon reading the letter, Merlin discovers that Roxy’s family’s business
is near bankrupt, and the marriage is actually a business merger with the
Harts. But Gazelle points out that a businessman on the boat earlier had said
that the Morton business was worth millions. They conclude that Harry’s uncle
is manipulating them into marrying to get to the Mortons and their business. It’s
then decided; they have to stop the wedding.
The four of them aren’t let out until the ship arrives in
port, but they manage to escape before the police arrive to take them. They
crash the wedding and reveal the plot, and Roxy and Harry are more than happy
to call the whole thing off. Happy ending where Merlin and Roxy are finally
together, and so are Harry and Eggsy, and Gazelle and Valentine are able to evade the police thanks to their friends, free to roam another day.
We met Sheriff Donna Hanscum and her dick ex-husband Doug. Donna beheaded a vampire and made friends with Jody Mills, then ran off together to start an all-woman hunters club in my mind.
Also, Sam Winchester was more scared of clowns than he was just about any other monster he’s ever come across, and that is 100% logical and fine to me because clowns are the worst as all evidence will bear out.
Currently on Supernatural
We start with married couple in suburbia. The obnoxious husband, Stan, complains about his wife’s cooking and then tells her to bring him a beer. Some guy in an oversized rabbit mask shows up and stabs him to death with a beer bottle. The wife screams.