unaware bliss

2

Quotes and excerpts from Dylan’s journal:

“I was delusional and thought she waved at me the last day of school. Oh well … my emotions are gone. So much past pain at once, my senses are numbed. The beauty of being numb.”

“I’d rather have nothing than be nothing." 

"I want to be free." 

"Farther and farther distant… that’s what’s happening… me & everything that zombies consider dear… just images, not life. Soon I will be at peace I hope…”

“I’ve always had a thing for the past - how it reacts to the present & the future - or rather vice versa. I wonder how/when i got so fucked up…”

“Sadness seems infinite, & the shell of happiness shines around. Yet the true despair overcomes it this lifetime.”

“The pain multiplies infinitely. never stops. Yet im here, STILL alone, still in pain.”

“The framework of society stands above & below me. The hardest thing to destroy, yet the weakest thing that exists. I know that i am different, yet i am afraid to tell the society. The possible abandonment, persecution is not something I want to face, yet it is so primitive to me. I guess being yourself means letting people know about inner thoughts too, not just opinions & fashions. (Heheh) I will be free one day, in the land of purity & my happiness, I will have a love, someone who is me in a way. Someday… Possibly thru this life, maybe another, but it will happen… ”

“Love is more valuable than anything I know. To love is to enter a completion of one’s self. I hate those who choose to destroy a love, who take it for granted. love is greater than life even. As i look for love, i feel i can’t find it. ever. but something tells me i will. Someday. Somewhere. As my love will find me. She feels as i do right now, i can feel it. we will be inseperable. Her & i. Whether it is [edited] or not, i think ill find it. (my love). we will be free, to explore the vast wonders of the stars. To cascade down everlong waterfalls, & thru the warmest seas of pure happiness… no limits… no limits. Nothing will stop us.”

“Nobody will help me.”

“I wonder if ill ever have a love.”

“Being made human
Without the possibility of BEING human
The cruelest of all punishments.”

“These moments will be lost in the depressions & caverns of the human books forever like, tears in rain, but the thoughts will be eternal. To explain the happiness is impossible even for fate. It’s just a pure halcyon set to last more existences than a conceivable number.”

“Existence is a great hall, life is one of the rooms, death is passing thru the doors, & the ever existent compulsion of everything is the curiosity to keep moving down the hall, thru the doors, exploring rooms, down this never-ending hall.”

“Existence is pure hell & pure heaven at the same time. I will never stop wondering. The lost highway will never end.”

“Time to die, time to be free, time to love.”

“The zombies will never cause us pain anymore.”

“Fact: People are so unaware. … well, Ignorance is bliss I guess…. that would explain my depression.”

“I was Mr. Cutter tonight - I have 11 depressioners on my right hand now.”

“oooh god i want to die sooo bad… such a sad, desolate, lonely, unsalvageable i feel i am….. not fair, NOT FAIR!!!! I wanted happiness!! I never got it…”

“I think a lot. Think … think … that’s all my life is, just shitloads of thinking … all the time … my mind never stops… music runs 24/7 (except for sleep), just songs I hear, not necessarily good or bad, & thinking…" 

”My existence is shit to me – how I feel that I am in eternal suffering, in infinite directions in infinite realities. Yet these realities are fake – artificial, induced [?] by thought, how everything connects, yet its all so far apart…. & I sit & think…"

“I don’t fit in I’ve been thinking of suicide gives no hope, that I’ll be in my place wherever I go after this life … that I’ll finally not be at war with myself, the world, the universe – my mind, body, everywhere, everything at PEACE in me – my soul (existence)." 

”Goodbye, sorry to everyone… I just can’t take it … all the thoughts … too many … make my head twist… I must have happiness, love, peace. Goodbye"

“some zombies are smarter than others, some manipulate… like my parents.”

“It’s interesting, when I’m in my human form, knowing I’m going to die. Everything has a touch of triviality to it. Like how none of this calculus shit matters. The way it shouldn’t. the truth. In 26.4 hours, I’ll be dead, & in happiness. The little zombie human fags will know their errors, & be forever suffering and mournful”

10

Dylan’s journal

1: Fact: People are so unaware…. well, ignorance is bliss I guess…. that would explain my depression. - Dylan
A Virtual Book
EXISTENCES
By: Dylan
Properties: This book cannot be opened by anyone except Dylan (some supernatural force blocks common people from entering).
<<-VoDkA->>
<<-Dylan->> 
2: The 4 stages from within: most, few, some, none
Me is place outside all the boxes. 
3: El Thoughtzos
Ah yes, this is me writing … just writing, nobody technically did anything, just I felt like throwing out my thoughts - this is a weird time, weird life, weird existence. As I sit here (partially drunk with a screwdriver) I think a lot. Think … think … that’s all my life is, just shitloads of thinking … all the time … my mind never stops … music runs 24/7 (except for sleep), just songs I hear, not necessarily good or bad, & thinking … about the asshole - in gym class, how he worries me, about driving, & my family, about friends & doings with them, about girls I know (mainly - & -) how I know I can never have them, yet I can still dream … I do shit to supposedly ‘cleanse’ myself in a spiritual, moral sort of way (deleting the wads on my computer, not getting drunk for periods of time, trying not to ridicule/make fun of people (-) at school), yet it does nothing to help my life morally. My existence is shit to me - how I feel that I am in eternal suffering, in infinite directions in infinite realities. Yet these realities are fake - artificial, induced (?) by thought, how everything connects, yet it’s all so far apart … & I sit & think … science is the way to find solutions to everything, right? I still think that, yet I see different views of shit now - like the mind - yet if the mind is viewed scientifically … hmm
I dwell in the past … thinking of good & bad memories. 
4: A lot on the past though … I’ve always had a thing for the past - how it reacts to the present & the future - or rather vice versa. I wonder how/when I got so fucked up w my mind, existence, problem - when Dylan Bennet Klebold got covered up by this entity containing Dylan’s body … as I see the people at school - some good, some bad - I see how different I am (aren’t we all you’ll say) yet I’m on such a greater scale of difference than everyone else (as far as I know, or guess). I see jocks having fun, friends, women, LIVEZ. 
Or rather shallow existences compared to mine (maybe) like ignorance = bliss. They don’t know beyond this world (how I do in my mind or in reality or in this existence) yet we each are lacking something that the other possesses - I lack the true human nature that Dylan owned & they lack the overdeveloped mind/imagination/knowledge tool. I don’t fit in here thinking of suicide gives me hope, that I’ll be in my place wherever I go after this life … that I’ll finally not be at war with myself, the world, the universe - my mind, body, everywhere, everything at PEACE in me - my soul (existence). & the routine is still monotonous, go to school, be scared & nervous, hoping that people can accept me … that I can accept them … the NIN (Nine Inch Nails) song Piggy is good for thought writing … The Lost Highway sounds like a movie about me … I’m gonna write later, bye   <<-VoDkA->>
5: Da ThoughtZ Jeah
Well well, back at it, yes (you say) whoever the fuck ‘you’ is, but yea. My life is still fucked, in case you care … maybe, … (not?) I have just lost fuckin 45$, & before that I lost my zippo & knife (I did get those back) Why the fuck is he being such an ASSHOLE??? (god I guess, whoever is the being which controls shit). He’s fucking me over big time & it pisses me off. Oooh god I HATE my life, I want to die really bad right now - let’s see what I have that’s good: A nice family, a good house, food, a couple of good friends, & possessions. What’s bad - no girls (friends or girlfriends), no other friends except a few, nobody accepting me even though I want to be accepted, me doing badly & being intimidated in any & all sports, me looking weird & acting shy - BIG problem, me getting bad grades, having no ambition of life, that’s the big shit. Anyway … I was Mr. Cutter tonight - I have 11 depressioners on my right hand now, & my favorite contrasting symbol, because it is so true & means so much. The battle between good & bad never ends … OK enough bitchin … well I’m not done yet. OK go … I don’t know  why I do wrong with people (mainly women) - it’s like they are set out to hate & ignore me, I never know what to say or do. - is soo fuckin lucky he has no idea how I suffer. 
6: Okay here’s some poetry … this is a display of one man in search of answers, never finding them, yet in hopelessness understands things …
Existence … what a strange word. He set out by determination & curiosity, knows no existence, knows nothing relevant to himself. The pretty declarations of others & everything on this world, in this world, he knows the answers to. Yet they have no purpose to him. He seeks knowledge of the unthinkable, of the undefinable, of the unknown. He explores the everything … using his mind, the most powerful tool known to him. Not a physical barrier blocking the limits of exploration, time thru thought thru dimensions … the everything is his realm. Yet, the more he thinks, hoping to find answers to his questions, the more come up. Amazingly, the petty things mean much to him at this time, how he wants to be normal, not this transceiver of the everything. Then occurring to him, the answer. How everything is connected yet separate. By experiencing the petty others actions, reactions, emotions, doings and thoughts, he gets a mental picture of what, in his mind, is a cycle. Existence is a great hall, life is one of the rooms, death is passing thru the doors, & the ever existent compulsion of everything is the curiosity to keep moving down the hall, thru the doors, exploring rooms, down this never-ending hall. Questions make answers, answers conceive questions, and at long last he is content. TTYL  <<-VoDkA->>
7: Thoughtz                                                                                                          Yo … whassup … heheheheh … know what’s weird? Everyone knows everyone. I swear - like I’m an outcast, & everyone is conspiring against me … Check it … (this isn’t good, but I need to write, so here ….                                             Within the known limits of time … within the conceived boundaries of space … the average human thinks those are the settings of existence … yet the ponderer, the outcast, the believer, helps out the human. “Think not of 2 dimensions”, says the ponderer, “but of 3, as your world is conceived of 3 dimensions, so is mine. While you explore the immediate physical boundaries of your body, you see in your 3 dimensions - L, W, & H, yet I, who is more mentally open to anything, see my 3 dimensions. My realm of thought - Time, Space, & THOUGHT. Thought is the most powerful thing that exists - anything conceivable can be produced, anything & everything is possible, even in your physical world.” After this so called “lecture” the common man feels confused, empty, & unaware. Yet those are the best emotions of a ponderer. The real difference is, a true ponderer will explore these emotions & what caused them. Another … a dream.                                                                                         Miles & miles of never ending grass, like a wheat. A farm, sunshine, a happy feeling in the presence, Absolutely nothing wrong, nothing ever is, contrary 180 (degrees) to normal life. No awareness, just pure bliss, unexplainable bliss, The only challenges are no challenge, & then … BAM!!! realization sets in, the world is the greatest punishment. Life.                                                            8: Hypnosis place - It is a sky - with one large cloud, & sort of cloud-made chair - the sun is at the head of the chair … 10 o’clock up into the sky … Below, I sometimes see mist, & the green (forest green) earth - sorta a city, yet I hear nothing. I relax on this chair - actually like a chaise - & I am talking … to what? I don’t know - it’s just there, I have the feeling that I know him, even though I consciously don’t … & we talk like we are the same person - like he’s my soul … The everlasting contrast …                                                                              Dark. Light. God. Lucifer. Heaven. Hell. GOOD. BAD. Yes, the everlasting-contrast. Since existence has known the ‘fight’ between good & evil has continued. Obviously, this fight can never end. Good things turn bad, bad things become good, the ‘people’ on the earth see it as a battle they can win. HA fuckin morons. If people looked at History, they would see what happens. I think, too much, I understand, I am GOD compared to some of those un-existable brainless zombies. Yet, the actions of them interest me, like a kid with a new toy. Another contrast, more of a paradox, actually, like the advanced go for the undevelopeds realm, while some of the morons become everything dwellers - but exceptions to every rule, & this is a BIG exception - most morons never change, they never decide to live in the ‘everything’ frame of mind!              Laterz           <<-VoDkA->>                                                                                   9: <<-VoDkA->>’s Thoughts                                                                                   The - Situation                                                                                                             It is not good for me right now (like it ever is) … but anyway … My best friend ever: the friend who shared, experimented, laughed, took chances with & appreciated me more than any friend ever did has been ordained … “passed on” … in my book. Ever since - (who I wouldn’t mind killing) has loved him … that’s the only place he’s been with her … if anyone had any idea how sad I am … I mean we were the TEAM. When him & I first were friends, well I finally found someone who was like me: who appreciated me & shared very common interests. Ever since 7th grade, I’ve felt lonely … when - came around, I finally felt happiness (sometimes) we did cigars, drinking, sabotage to houses, EVERYTHING for the first time together & now that he’s “moved on” I feel so lonely, without a friend. Oh well, maybe he’ll come around -> … I hope.               That’s all - for this topic - maybe I’ll never see this again. (-> ô=-   -=ô)                 <<-VoDkA->>                                                                                                                10: My 1st Love????                                                                                               OH my God … I am almost sure I am in love … with -. Hehehe … such a strange name, like mine … yet everything about her I love. From her good body to her almost perfect face, her charm, her wit & cunning, her NOT being popular. Her friends (who I know) - some - I just hope she likes me as much as I LOVE her. I think of her every second of every day. I want to be with her. I imagine me & her doing things together, the sound of her laugh, I picture her face, I love her. If - soulmates exist, then I think I’ve found mine. I hope she likes Techno … :-)             -, I love you                                                                                                             - Dylan

Front page of Dylan Klebold’s journal.

At the top it says:

“Fact: People are so unaware … well, Ignorance is bliss I guess… that would explain my depression - Dylan”

At the bottom it says:

“Properties: This Book cannot be opened by anyone not Dylan, Some supernatural force blocks common people from entering”

One thing that comes to mind concerning elves and their usage of hair (primarily for bowstrings) also is if that hair chemistry carried over to orcs or not. If you favor the origin story of orcs being that they were ‘twisted elves’ it begs the question of what was tampered with precisely, and how.

If orcs did not have the strength of elf hair to string their own bows (among other amazing applications when you sit down and think about the usefulness of such hair) could it be that one of the many things Mairon did to captured elves in Angband was to have some very well taken care of whose only purpose was to grow hair? With such an amazing biological advantage it would be foolish for Mairon to overlook it as something worthy to utilize.

Elves who are pampered and well fed with long glorious hair, completely and utterly comfortable with their status in Angband (and ignorantly blissful and unaware of the horrors around them). They grow their hair as long as possible then have their hair shorn, and from their hair everything from bowstrings to actual fabric is made.

Alternatively if orcs did share this trait with elves did they too possibly have designated orcs whose main purpose in Angband was to grow long, thick healthy hair for their civilization’s functionality?

 Really though hair that is this strong could have so many applications.

anonymous asked:

Seriously, every time I see you post the words "Cafe Bustelo", I moan with pleasure! Best Coffee Ever! My high school Spanish teacher made a pot for class one day and changed my life. I do what I can to bring the joy of Cafe Bustelo to my fellow vanilla snowballs because they are unaware of the bliss and should have their eyes opened!

i was made american coffee the other day and almost cried. it’s water :( literally tastes like sadness

vanilla snowballs all should have the opportunity to taste what god drinks in the morning.

Dylan Quotes

“I wanted happiness, I never got it”

“I am purity. Darkness. Romanticism. Professionalism. Existence. Complacence. Power. Pain. Everything is black. I am everything. “

“No emotions. Not caring. Yet another stage in this shit life. Suicide…”

“Goodbye, sorry to everyone… I just can’t take it… all the thoughts… too many… make my head twist.. i must have happiness, love, peace. Goodbye.”

“I hate those who choose to destroy a love, who take it for granted.”

“I’d rather have nothing than be nothing.”

“Existence…what a strange word.”

“The battle between good and bad never ends.”

“If it was true that you loved me as I do you, I would find a way to survive. Anything to be with you. I would enjoy life knowing that you loved me.”

“I don’t fit in here and thinking of suicide gives me hope, that i’ll be in my place wherever I go after this life… that I’ll finally not be at war with myself, the world, the universe-my mind, body, everywhere, everything at PEACE in me-my soul [existence]”

“All people I ever might have loved have abandoned me”

“I wonder if I’ll ever have a love”

“Being made human without the possibility of BEING human. The cruelest of all punishments.”

“The true existence lives in solitude, always aware, always infinite, always, looking, for, his love.”

“Nobody will help me”

“Hey mum. Gotta go. It’s about a half an hour before our little judgement day. I just wanted to apologize to you guys for any crap this might instigate as far as [inaudible] or something. Just know I’m going to a better place. I didn’t like life too much and I know I’ll be happy wherever the fuck I go. So I’m gone. Goodbye.”

“NBK will be the ultimate revenge, to our shitlists, the pigs, everyone! We’ll fuckin ‘take care of business’ to be sure, So Indigo, as we near the day of fate … AAAA FUCKIT! Just let it come. They will know when gods get pissed of … the little pussies will feel the shotgun shells & the bullets. Just like that little piglet at community service. They need to die sooo bad. Now they will”

“I was delusional and thought she waved at me the last day of school. Oh well … my emotions are gone. So much past pain at once, my senses are numbed. The beauty of being numb.”

“I want to be free.”

“Farther and farther distant… that’s what’s happening… me & everything that zombies consider dear… just images, not life. Soon I will be at peace I hope…”

“I’ve always had a thing for the past - how it reacts to the present & the future - or rather vice versa. I wonder how/when i got so fucked up…”

“Sadness seems infinite, & the shell of happiness shines around. Yet the true despair overcomes it this lifetime.”

“The pain multiplies infinitely. never stops. Yet im here, STILL alone, still in pain.”

“The framework of society stands above & below me. The hardest thing to destroy, yet the weakest thing that exists. I know that i am different, yet i am afraid to tell the society. The possible abandonment, persecution is not something I want to face, yet it is so primitive to me. I guess being yourself means letting people know about inner thoughts too, not just opinions & fashions. (Heheh) I will be free one day, in the land of purity & my happiness, I will have a love, someone who is me in a way. Someday… Possibly thru this life, maybe another, but it will happen… ”

“Love is more valuable than anything I know. To love is to enter a completion of one’s self. I hate those who choose to destroy a love, who take it for granted. love is greater than life even. As i look for love, i feel i can’t find it. ever. but something tells me i will. Someday. Somewhere. As my love will find me. She feels as i do right now, i can feel it. we will be inseperable. Her & i. Whether it is [edited] or not, i think ill find it. (my love). we will be free, to explore the vast wonders of the stars. To cascade down everlong waterfalls, & thru the warmest seas of pure happiness… no limits… no limits. Nothing will stop us.”

“These moments will be lost in the depressions & caverns of the human books forever like, tears in rain, but the thoughts will be eternal. To explain the happiness is impossible even for fate. It’s just a pure halcyon set to last more existences than a conceivable number.”

“Existence is a great hall, life is one of the rooms, death is passing thru the doors, & the ever existent compulsion of everything is the curiosity to keep moving down the hall, thru the doors, exploring rooms, down this never-ending hall.”

“Existence is pure hell & pure heaven at the same time. I will never stop wondering. The lost highway will never end.”

“Time to die, time to be free, time to love.”

“The zombies will never cause us pain anymore.”

“Fact: People are so unaware. … well, Ignorance is bliss I guess…. that would explain my depression.”

“I was Mr. Cutter tonight - I have 11 depressioners on my right hand now.”

“oooh god i want to die sooo bad… such a sad, desolate, lonely, unsalvageable i feel i am….. not fair, NOT FAIR!!!! I wanted happiness!! I never got it…”

“I think a lot. Think … think … that’s all my life is, just shitloads of thinking … all the time … my mind never stops… music runs 24/7 (except for sleep), just songs I hear, not necessarily good or bad, & thinking…” 

”My existence is shit to me – how I feel that I am in eternal suffering, in infinite directions in infinite realities. Yet these realities are fake – artificial, induced [?] by thought, how everything connects, yet its all so far apart…. & I sit & think…"

“some zombies are smarter than others, some manipulate… like my parents.”

“It’s interesting, when I’m in my human form, knowing I’m going to die. Everything has a touch of triviality to it. Like how none of this calculus shit matters. The way it shouldn’t. the truth. In 26.4 hours, I’ll be dead, & in happiness. The little zombie human fags will know their errors, & be forever suffering and mournful”

Awareness signs the warrant for suffering.

“I’m forever sorry, infinitely, about the pornos. My humanity has a foot fetish & bondage extreme liking. I try to thwart it sometimes to no effect. Yet the masturbation has stopped.”  

“Love is more valuable than anything I know. To love is to enter a completion of one’s self. I hate those who choose to destroy a love.”

“My wrath for January’s incident will be…godlike”

Growing Affections

Title: Growing Affections
Summary: Sherlock has been pining for his best friend’s sister for weeks and is struggling to keep his feelings hidden
Author: Maddy
Words: 2600
Characters/Relationships: Sherlock x Reader, John x sister!Reader
Warnings: Major fluff overdose and bad writing due to tiredness

Request: Could you do a Sherlock x Reader, where the reader is John’s sister and Sherlock fancies the reader but he doesn’t want to get on the wrong side of John, until one day John is out and the reader says something and Sherlock grabs her and kisses her and John walks in? (happy ending please) thank you xx - anonymous

Author’s Notes: I didn’t know whether you wanted the reader to say whether she likes Sherlock out loud or try to subtly tell him but I thought it would be fun to write it as if though she was just there and Sherlock just couldn’t hold back kiss them any longer. This is written a lot differently from some of my other works but I feel like it worked out for the best. Maybe. I also seem to have a thing for writing short readers though I myself am not really that short. And have you realised that in most of these Sherlock fics, based in Britain (obviously) they don’t mention marmite at all? Being Australian and absolutely in love with Vegemite and marmite, I was actually really surprised by this, though honestly I can’t see Sherlock or John liking it now that I think about it and now I’m rambling because I am really tired. Oh well, I hope you like this nonny!

————————————————————————-

After suffering through the tirade of childhood together, you and John had formed as close a bond with each other as any other pair of siblings would have created, even more so after he had taken upon the role of the protective older brother once your parent’s marriage began to die. He went through your school work with you and helped you navigate through high school drama whilst the stability of your family crumbled around you as Harry succumbed to the drink and your mother fell into depression. He had always been there for you through your childhood so when he came home from Afghanistan, in pain, depressed and unwilling to ask for help, you were there to lend a hand when he needed it.

Your bond only grew stronger as a result and when John had met Sherlock at the front of 221B, you, of course, had tagged along. Sherlock had been surprised when he saw you trailing next to John, your hair in a messy bun on top of your head, sky blue scarf around your neck, shielding it and your mouth from the bitter wind, your nose red from the cold (you had never liked the cold, even after living in England all your life), your red jacket contrasting against your black and white striped-stockinged legs and black converse-clad feet, a look that would have probably been ghastly on any other person except you. You were short, shorter than John even, the top of your head barely reaching Sherlock’s collarbone when you stood next to him. If he were to describe you at that moment, he would have chosen anything other than intimidating, the period immediately after that however, was a different story.

Keep reading

Taking Shelter from the Rain: Rico and Pixis

Even in the rain, people’s lives in this town went unchanged, bustling.

The voices of the peddlers, the wheels of the horse drawn carriages, and mumbling of the unemployed overwhelmed the sound of the rain.  Rico, with documents in hand, clad in rain gear, walked quickly through the busy street, found a suitable eave to escape the rain, and stopped.

“What an annoying rain…..’

“Working hard, I see.”

“Huh?…Commander!?”

Rico happened to run into the head of the Garrison, Commander Dot Pixis under the eave.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

The captains are sexually frustrated (but they have an s/o who is currently in the seireitei). How do the captains act while trying not to think of how gosh darn horny they are? Do the lieutenants/squad members notice? If they do, what do they do to...help their captain out? (Eg, they avoid the captain, they take over the work so captain can go home early, they find s/o and coincidentally being s/o by, etc). Thank you!

Kyouraku  Shunsui 

If you thought that Kyouraku couldn’t possibly drop more innuendos… You’d be wrong. Of course, this is only to his s/o but still Nanao has known her captain a long time too long so she’s able to pick up on it and will send him off to his s/o if they have the day off /are in his division. If not she’ll have to suffer through it and hope it’s sorted by tomorrow.

Sui Feng

She’s sort of the stereotypical sexually frustrated in that she snaps at people more and gets annoyed more easily. But honestly it’s not much of a difference so it’s barely noticeable. Omaeda probably notices his captain is being particularly mean today but he assumes she just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. 

Honestly, I’m not sure Sui Feng herself would notice.

Otoribashi “Rose”Roujuurou

Rose starts getting even more flowery in his speech and far more distracted than usual. He feels unsettled and ill at ease. Izuru will notice in that his captain is far more distracted than usual and probably ends up sending him home because he’s being completely useless with the paperwork and singing far more love songs than usual. Did he say love songs? He meant thinly-veiled sex songs. Taichou, please get out.

Unohana Retsu

I really don’t think anyone would notice for Unohana. Honestly who would dare point it out to her if they did! That would be a good guarantee of a threat wrapped up in a sweet smile. It’s not worth it just don’t say anything!

Hirako Shinji

Shinji probably fidgets a bit more, he does that thing where his foot starts bouncing and he doesn’t realise unless someone points it out. He starts tapping his fingers more to some dirty song in his head, he whines more about when will this day end. Momo realises this but doesn’t let him home early. He can whine all he likes but she knows if she gives an inch, he’ll take a mile. So she puts up with it and if she happened to recommend to Shinji’s s/o that they drop by and see him for lunch? Well she’s just glad there’s a whine-free afternoon ahead.

Kuchiki Byakuya

He’s another one that it’s pretty much guaranteed that no-one will notice. Renji probably knows Byakuya well enough that he spots Byakuya being slightly different to usual but he doesn’t understand the why.

Komamura Sajin

Komamura is a wolfman of few words and a quiet disposition so probably not much changes in how he behaves and so no-one really notices. Besides there would probably be slightly different things to look for that a regular person wouldn’t pick up on and wouldn’t happen to notice.

Yadomaru Lisa

What are you talking about? Lisa’s horny all the time so there’s really no change. Her division have learnt this so really when she’s not acting horny is when they start worrying!

Muguruma Kensei

Kensei looks pretty grumpy but he stays quiet rather than the yelling that usually happens when he’s angry. This promptly confuses the hell out of Shuhei, who is left to wonder why his captain is angrily brewing. Is this some new level of anger that someone has managed to insight? As he’s not sure what the problem is, he’s not sure how to fix it so he probably gets on with his work and asks Kensei’s s/o on break. When Hisagi comes back after lunch and his captain is back to normal, he just lives in blissful unawareness 

Hitsugaya Toushiro

So much grumpier than normal! He snaps more than usual, gets more irritated at Rangiku. Not helped when she teasingly wonders aloud at how long his s/o has been gone on that mission and how difficult it must for her poor taichou. Teasing him was almost worth the double paperwork she received in response. 

Zaraki Kenpachi

Kenpachi just wants to fight more (is that even possible?). Again draw attention to it and you’re likely to be the next one he’ll fight so unless you’re cruising for a bruising I’d just go about your day as normal and send his s/o over when you can. He’ll probably still be fighting later anyway but still…

Kurotsuchi Mayuri

Again nobody would notice. Honestly, i feel like it wouldn’t blip much for Mayuri beyond something he should deal with - if it was bad enough - so actually he might be more irritable than usual but not because he’s horny but because he has to deal with it!

Ukitake Juushiro

Rukia would notice a change in Ukitake’s behaviour, he’s fidgeting a lot more than normal, he’s still being patient with others but not quite as patient as usual. She’s not sure what’s wrong and she dithers for a long time before letting Ukitake know that if there’s something bothering him then she’s here to listen. This only flusters Ukitake more but he realises that he must be acting differently so he thanks her with his usual smile and says that perhaps he should return home for today.

DAY 3289(i)

Jalsa, Mumbai                 Mar 31,  2017                Fri 11:46 am



And so I never give up !! Those thoughts on the lost post are in the valley of unawared bliss .. a bit presumptuous of me, but so what .. its mine and I can be so .. gone is gone .. irretrievable and lost .. best to not even remember what it contained .. in a few days on its reflection there shall probably be relief that it went  .. there is better worth in store perhaps .. principles of life take over .. philosophical and real and with greater strength ..!!


WALK .. walk away from it all .. quietly without rancour or remorse, without .. within, shall remain .. remain for and with time ..  never obverse .. knowing that the obverse is there and secure, but never turning it back to view it ..

Life brings many a similar challenge .. those that remorse, sink into the abyss of defeat .. defeat is not what the ‘other’ gave .. defeat is the acceptance of your own being .. you decide and decode defeat, not the ‘other’ .. 

When it is in your liking or disliking .. when it is in your being .. when it is within your being .. why allow it to escape to the world .. why share it with the world .. it was well and secure within you .. keep it there .. keep it in that storage cell that ever remains safe-locked and bolted .. to be opened at will .. your will only !!

BUT .. bring it out within you only .. to assess, to judge, to inspire, to motivate to defeat the cause of the defeat ..

That’s a fight .. THE fight .. not one that is public or demonstrative to the ‘other’ .. but the one that shall evolve and build on the reserves of your own being .. one that you shall encounter each moment of your breathing .. and one that you must enjoy and accept ..

For only then shall you reap and cherish its outcome .. an outcome that shall please and excite only you .. and that shall be the greatest deliverance .. not for the world .. not for the ‘other’ .. just yourself ..!!

THAT SHALL BE THE MOST EXPRESSIVE INDULGENCE OF YOUR LIFE .. not that piece of excessive chocolate, or tea or coffee .. not those material goods .. NO .. 

Just that internal victory over your defeat .. one that no one shall know or see .. and no one would perhaps care .. BUT .. one that all shall at some stage accept and acknowledge .. without knowing where it began and how .. and that is the beauty of it all .. that is the beauty of your will .. that is the accomplishment of your life .. and that shall remain with you forever .. keep it with you, for no one , no one shall ever understand it or give it any compassion ..

That is your greatest weapon .. and your shield .. 

My love as ever .. as I shall be with you again in the later hours of the night ..

Amitabh Bachchan

White Shadow

alternatively titled: an ode to married life (hehehe) 

Day 3 of Royai Week:  Catalyst
Rated: K | Words: 1111


It builds up.  Bit by bit, it accumulates slowly within her.

They’re small things she tells herself, but even grains of sand become deserts.

Keep reading

Only Temporary

Admin Marie

A.N: This was really nice to write, it just kind of flowed out naturally which is the best way to write

Word Count: 1151 

Summary: If he was beside you, you felt weightless, but as soon as he left, you were lost

Genre: Angst (Fluff too?)

Member: S.coups (Seventeen)

Originally posted by sevixxteen


He was leaving. It was normal by now, but you weren’t used to it. Watching his retreating back as he walked away from you. He had done it thousands of times, but your heart still ached the same. You knew you were foolish for letting his words sting your heart the way they did. He would walk away from you as you stood in your spot, idly waiting for him to turn around. The bitter autumn wind would swirl around you, ruffling your hair about and kissing your cold skin.

You didn’t remember when your passionate boyfriend became cold, and when your relationship went from beautiful to hideous. People used to envy the love Seungcheol and you shared. Now, things were different - everything was different. The love people used to wish they had was now something no one would wish for.

You couldn’t count all the things you loved about Seungcheol on one hand, or even on two. You had so many things you adored about this man that you could hardly breathe. Everything he did made your heart melt with affection. Now, anything he did made you angry.

You two used to spend hours on end talking. You laying across him, arms around his chest, and his arms around your waist. Talking about everything and nothing, just to pass the blissful time, unaware of the events about to take place.

The way he kissed you, swept you off your feet. His kiss was a whisper of unspoken passion, the type of description that simply did not exist. Why try to describe something that words can not do justice to?

You could still feel his gentle hands on you, tracing your waist and stomach, trailing up to your neck and shoulders, finding home on your back as the two of you shared deep secrets. Secrets that you would never be able to share with another human being. Secrets that you now regret sharing.

You two were introduced by your best friend since childhood, Jun. When Jun was about to debut in a kpop group, he forced you to meet all of the people he was debuting with. Seungcheol was no different from the rest at first to you, and then as time went on, you noticed him more than the others. He loved you from the moment you and Jeonghan co-parented Dino about school. He talked to you, really talked to you, when you had a deep conversation with Minghao about his future and homesickness, comforting the scared boy.

Jun wasn’t in favour of the relationship at first, but after he saw how pure your feelings for each other were, he was all for it. When Seungcheol and you started to fight more than get along, Jun ran to your rescue. Maybe Jun drove you two apart with his constant worrying, maybe you and Seungcheol just weren’t meant to be.

Even though you were in the situation, you didn’t know much about what happened. One day you and Seungcheol were as happy as ever, the next he was ripping the apartment apart and packing his stuff. He claimed to have fallen out of love with you months ago, and failed to communicate that to you. For a while, you wished he would’ve talked to you about it and tried to fix it, but now, you just didn’t care.

You two were on and off for weeks after he packed up and left, because he just kept coming back and you just kept letting him. You loved him. You loved his pink lips, his black hair, his simple style and that deep voice of his. It was safe to say you loved everything about Seungcheol. But now, all you could find in your heart regarding him was hate.

You were mad, Seungcheol was mad and Jun was raging. He confronted Seungcheol many times, to no avail. Seungcheol just kept coming back and you kept opening the door for him. Sometimes your body did its own thing and opened the door without consulting your brain.

You didn’t know what was going to happen anymore. As time went on, you cared less and less. You knew you would move on, but you also knew you would never find someone who loved you the same way Seungcheol did. So, you let him hurt you. You let him come in and out as you slowly became numb to the pain his presence, and ack thereof, would bring you.

Until one day, he stopped coming. He didn’t show up unexpectedly at your front door, knowing too well that you would allow him to come inside. In fact, he stopped showing up all together. No more phone calls, no more texts, no more visits, no more Seungcheol. It was then that you realized that letting him in was easier than keeping him out. It hurt less to have a sense of someone wanting you than having no one.

It wasn’t as if you were alone, you had plenty of friends and people you could talk to without thinking twice. You had lots of people you liked and were close with, but as the days past by, you realized just how big of a hole Seungcheol left. According to Jun, he was just as messed up as you were, but you didn’t believe him. Jun had a way of telling you what you wanted to hear to feel better.

Deep down, you knew things between you and Seungcheol were inevitably going to end, no matter how you played the situation out. No matter how you played it out, you still felt just as broken when he left your side and you became so astronomically alone. You were isolated without really being isolated, a prisoner of your own mind.Somehow, you found yourself slipping into a downwards spiral, of inevitability and self loathing that no one was able to pull you out of.

That was until he came back. His raven black hair messy and his eyes puffy, he came back to you. He found you laying in your bed, alone and crying. It wasn’t something that was unusual for you. You were used to this toxic routine of crying and catharsis. The sessions of crying and screaming couldn’t even be classified as catharsis, due to the fact that catharsis by definition was getting relief by letting your emotions out. You didn’t get any relief, you just felt more suffocated as the days past.

When he showed up was when the real catharsis started. Your chest was finally weightless, your brain calm. You didn’t ask questions as he laid beside you, pulling you close and running your back. You figured that Jun had sent him, but that was the least of your worries at the moment. He was there, holding you, and nothing else mattered. As long as he was there, You felt safe, even if it was only temporary.

anonymous asked:

Sans, I have to ask since I'm curious: you seem to be aware of the medium through which we interact with you, and that your world was created to be the specific way it is. What are your opinions on Azul and Banana?

Sans twitches, glaring up at the cavern roof overhead. The ice covering a shallow pool of water beside him cracks as his hands tighten.

“they are content to torture me in every way possible, continuously contemplating ways to hurt me further, just to see how much i can take. i know what they’re planning. i know what they have set in store for me in their little “fanfic”. they’ve already stolen my wife from me. all of my friends, they’ve made into mindless beasts. my family they break until they are barely functioning. they taunt me with the possibility of frisk regaining her life, thrusting her spirit into the story just to tease me. they only plan to take more. what do i think of them?”

He shrugged a shoulder stiffly, turning back to watch his brother and daughter cavorting in the snow. They were throwing snowballs, blissful and unaware.

“azul i can excuse. she gives us hope, and a way forward in this world. she gave us a way out. she wants everything to work out. but banana? she dashes those plans without care. i am given a way out? she takes that away. provided a second option? another part of my soul is stolen from me. she dangles happiness in front of my face and snatches it away when i reach for it. all for the sake of “dramatic tension”.”

His bony lip curls, trembling with barely withheld rage.

“i think ‘b’ needs a lesson in real dramatic tension. you like killing characters so much? i’d like to see how you handle it.”

I had an idea for an AU dark!FrUk fanfic inspired by the Hannibal tv serie, in which Francis is a serial killer like Hannibal: he kill his victims like pigs and cooks and eats parts of them.

He is ruthless, sadistic and highly intelligent to not leave any conclusive evidence. He likes to hunt beautiful people from all over the Europe. When he is not killing, he is charming and seems to care about all the ones around him, but the truth is that he is bored most of the time (he is very cultured because he is always doing things to try to cure that boredom, like reading, going to the theatre/opera, making art, etc. As a side effect, that makes him a huge connoisseur of beauty of any kind). His biggest joy is right after killing because he makes dinner for his acquaintances in high society (the brightest minds in Europe) and serve them some (not all) of the latest victim flesh/organs and no one suspect a thing.

He keeps a close look to the investigations about his murderers. When he thinks the investigator is getting too close, he kills them and change his modus operandi, so any leading clue became useless and people thinks that there are different murderers.

That until a young and genius English investigator take charge of one of his crimes. That investigator was the only one who saw the pattern and found out that all that killings were from only one murderer and more: he was capable of pinpoint that the killer was most likely based on Paris.

Everyone, Francis including, were very impressed with said investigator. Francis realized that he was a threat and the best solution was to eliminate him immediately. So Francis did what he usually did: he tried to get closer to the investigator so he could kidnap, torture and murder him.

However, when Francis met him, Francis became fascinated by the investigator. His name was Arthur and yes, he was brilliant and capable of getting inside the mind of the most perverse people in the world. However somehow he was still able to keep a gentle and even innocent side that he tried to keep hidden from the world (he did a fairly good job, but Francis was a master of getting inside people’s head).

Francis realized that he could break that investigator if he wanted too. He just needed to push and push that innocent side until it broken. That would be a fun game.
Nevertheless, at the same time, he was enamoured with Arthur and his highly complex and smart mind. He was capable of completely comprehending Francis and yet Arthur was nothing like him, and that was fascinating. That was beautiful, and Francis was a connoisseur of beauty of any kind. In his twisted way, Francis fell in love Arthur. It would be a pity to destroy the only creature capable of seeing the beauty in his killings.

So Francis decided to play a more dangerous game: he would getting closer to Arthur.

Very close.

The initial idea was to become one of Arthur’s close friends, but the more he started to know Arthur, more Francis realized that he wanted a more intimate relationship with the investigator. He wanted to be the lover. So he did all that he could (even killing people that were in the way) to be Arthur’s boyfriend (he had to be extra careful, because the smallest mistake could make the investigator get one step closer).

Francis got what he wanted.

He and Arthur were together, even living in the same apartment, sleeping in the same bed. Francis needed to be extra careful with all that he did, but the reward was worth it.

He was feeding his victims to the investigator in charge of catching him. And Arthur was blissful unaware of that

Arthur become his highest trophy. Francis could enjoy Arthur’s mind and body while feeding him human flesh.

I don’t know what to do from there =3
Maybe let the situation like that, maybe something dramatic, I don’t know xD. Just a thought that I had. I probably ain’t gonna write that.

Danny Phantom Gothic:

·      Danny has shifted between his two forms so many times, he doesn’t even remember if his eyes were this… hazel originally. He can’t admit that they’re green.

·      Dan doesn’t exist in time anymore. Does he exist anymore? Clockwork says he does.

·      Clockwork shifts, just out of the corner of everyone’s eyes. Even the multi-eyed, omnipotent beast in the Observant’s quarters.

·      Valerie can feel her suit buzzing under her skin. It doesn’t appear, but she knows it’s there. She knows it’s apart of her.

·      Vlad doesn’t know what’s right and wrong anymore. Is that Maddie? Or is that just another hologram, another illusion?

·      There were just two cats. Now, Vlad doesn’t encounter more than two at a time, but they are always different. Different attitudes. Different fur. Different cats. Always watching.

·      Jack wanders, blissful. He’s unaware that he’s broken one too many traffic laws, one too many physics laws. He’s wandering outside of reality.

·      Jazz looks, once, twice, three times. It can’t be possible. Her notes can’t have changed on her. Can they?

·      Maddie stares, deep into the papers in front of her. The letters swirl. The words don’t make sense to her anymore. But something else, deep down, starts to make sense.

·      Tucker smiles, oblivious to anything outside his PDA. His parents watch, withering away, as their money goes into caring for their son, not themselves. They drift away into dust for a few moments, then cling a little longer to this Earth. They still need to take care of their son.

·      Sam looks into the mirror again. That can’t be her, can it? With the big eyes and the dark hair and the purple eyes that aren’t the right shade? How can she be this different from her parents?

·      The Manson family wonders when the plants moved from the greenhouse to the hall. Maybe it was gradual. The pots dot the rooms, small trees and vines swaying in a breeze no one can feel. Maybe there’s some dirt, just in that corner. Yes, that would explain the face-shaped plant, sitting in the corner with no pot, with a look of despair and longing and reminders of a lost cause. Everyone who looks at it thinks it’s themselves.

·      Bearburt Einstein sits on the chair, staring at nothing. No one sees him except Jazz, the one who’s loved him since childhood. No one seems to notice him in different corners than he was set in, even Jazz.

·      Paulina smiles at her beauty. Her smile freezes and turns to a thin line. She can’t get wrinkles. She must be perfect. Beauty and perfection are everything.

·      Star watches the football team, cheering them on. She loves her team. They’re perfect. Their hair, long and blond, swings with the beat of the crowd. They lift her perfectly, making her the top of the pyramid. She doesn’t notice that everyone quit cheer long ago. She doesn’t notice that Paulina and everyone is gone. She doesn’t notice the eerie faces below her, synchronicity with her own.

·      Skulker will have Danny’s pelt. He will mount Danny’s head on a wall. He will have Danny as a trophy. He keeps a special plaque, just for him. The sizing is perfect, thanks to a few tests. He has a space measured out for his pelt, just in front of the decorative bed. He tested that, too. Ember has disappeared from his life, and Skulker didn’t care.

Just rather sad that the political class is so uninterested in the views of the public on this matter and it strikes me that there’s a parallel between the sort of insistence of the upper class that the poorer class is the working class and need to get swept up in wars that they don’t necessarily agree with and don’t necessarily understand alongside but this great experiment in multiculturalism and diversity which could be more cynically characterized as vote buying for leftist politicians than to say ‘well sorry you don’t like it, sorry it’s too bad you have to be drafted into a war and you have to be drafted into this multicultural experiment’. It seems that there’s a kind of continuity of elitist arrogance where the elite - their jobs aren’t being threatened by migrants, they’re not being pushed out of their neighborhoods by immigration, so there is a kind of blissful unawareness of the impact on the average or the lower-class which seems to me strikingly similar to some of the indifference in past colonial activities and wartime activities where it’s just like 'sorry you have to do it because we have the power’.
—  [source]

anonymous asked:

Imagine your OTP looking up at the stars. Person A is really enthusiastic, pointing out the constellations and person B just falls asleep to their voice (taken from the prompts blog I hope you don't mind 🙈)

“And that’s Cassiopeia,” he listens to her murmur, her voice low, so soft in the darkness of the car that he has to blink a few times to stop the drugging sensation of sleep from lapping at his consciousness.

“I still only know the Big Dipper,” he states, smirking at Beckett’s huff of exasperation from his side. They’ve been at this for nearly half an hour now, camped out in her dead cruiser in the middle of a New Jersey highway after being abducted by proverbial aliens, staring into the sky full of stars while they await Ryan and Esposito to come pick them up.

He never would have guessed Beckett to be such an astronomy nerd, to know the constellations like the back of her hand, to want to share them with him.

“Look,” she says, scooting in closer to him, her shoulder bumping his as she points her finger to the glass of the windshield, and he holds his breath to avoid inhaling the sweet scent of cherries. “See that ‘M’ shape?”

Castle sits forward, genuinely tries to follow the direction of her index finger towards the sky, to locate the constellation she speaks of, and - oh, oh he sees it.

“There?” He traces the ‘M’ with his finger along the glass and Kate nods, actual excitement radiating from her body, transferring like waves of pleasant energy into his.

“Yeah, and to the left is Cepheus,” she continues, curling her knees up onto the seat, just a breath away from folding atop his thigh. “You know the Greek mythology behind stars, don’t you, Castle?”

“Mm, no, actually,” he replies, sitting back, narrowly avoiding the spring beneath the leather that always pokes him in the ass, settled comfortably in the middle instead. Sharing space with Kate Beckett. “I always wanted to know more, but I just never got around to it.”

“You’re missing out,” Kate quips, her gaze still roaming the sky, the stars alight in her eyes, brighter there than they are up above in the blanket of inky darkness.

Mythology, tales of gods and monsters and unfathomable heroic feats, doesn’t seem like something she would be interested in, not when he knows her stance on magic and fate, but he doesn’t want to question her intrigue in the subject, doesn’t want to dissect and overanalyze it.

Doesn’t ever want that spark in her eyes, the rare look of celestial wonder, to disappear.

“Fill me in,” he suggests, casting his gaze to the sky once more, attempting to find the stories she speaks of in the slew of constellations they can hardly catch a glimpse of in the city without a telescope.

Beckett is silent for a long moment, but he waits, releases a shallow breath of surprise when she relaxes beside him, the caps of her knees brushing his outer thigh, their arms flirting as she gets comfortable. Prepared to tell him a story.

“Cassiopeia used to be a queen,” she begins and Rick rests his head back against the top of the seat, tries to stare at the sky instead of her. Despite how severely she rivals their heavenly view. “But her vanity had her exiled to the sky in punishment.”

-

Rick drifts in and out of sleep beside her, dozing through her soft spoken lecture in Greek mythology, but he blinks and straightens every so often, tries his best to stay awake. She doesn’t mind, though, caught up in the stories her dad used to tell her when they’d sit in front of her telescope throughout the nights when she was ten years old on her bedroom floor, sometimes in the city, usually at the cabin.

The myths never fazed her, but the older she grew, the more fascinating she found them. The idea of being turned into a star, sentenced to illuminating the night sky for centuries to come, trapped but burning so bright.

“Don’t stop talking,” Castle mumbles, his head a mere inch away from falling to her shoulder, and part of her craves the warmth of it, the way she had felt waking up with her head on his chest only an hour ago, that split second of fleeting but blissful unawareness before memories of a dark room and bright lights and bruised necks had rushed back in.

“Hmm?” she replies, realizing she has in fact gone quiet, lost to the train of her thoughts, her eyes drifting from the constellations overhead to skate along his face.

She still wonders what it would have been like in the summer, in the Hamptons, with him, if they could have been on the beach, under a sky glittering with stars like they are now. Wonders if she could have curled into his side, pointed out constellations to him until his fascination was fed and the trace of his fingers up and down her arm became too much, until she shifted to find the dark blues of his eyes gazing at her instead of the stars, claimed the crescent moon of his upturned mouth. Two stars colliding, exploding-

“Like listening to you talk, Beckett. Great storytelling voice,” he continues, snapping her out of the silly - and totally inappropriate, jeez, Kate - fantasy.

“Great for putting you to sleep,” she retorts, watching his eyes slit open, ascending to locate her angled above him.

“Getting kidnapped by the men in black took a lot out of me, not my fault your voice can soothe me to sleep,” he quips, the corner of his mouth curling with a grin. “But I can promise you, I caught almost the entirety of the story about Cassie up there.”

“Cassie?” she chuckles, following the nod of his head towards his recently learned constellation.

“I want to learn more. We should have weekly stargazing sessions,” he muses and she hates herself, her utterly stupid heart, for internally jumping at the idea. “I actually have access to the roof on my building, and Alexis’s telescope… it’d be fun.”

Kate chews on her bottom lip, glances to Castle’s and lifts her gaze to his eyes when she notices the subtle breath he sucks in, the ripple of his throat as he catches the slide of her gaze to his mouth.

“Unless, of course - I mean, I know Josh is-”

“Not in the picture,” she fills in quietly, watching the constellations in his eyes come together, forming galaxies that illuminate the shades of blue as he shifts beside her, straightens in his seat and angles his body towards her.

“Kate-”

“Kinda sounds like the setup for date,” she hums, bearing witness to the explosion of those stars in his widened eyes, the supernova of colors shining bright and sprinkling stardust throughout his features, and she’s tempted to taste it on his parted lips.

‘It - yeah, it could be,” he murmurs, echoing the rise and fall of his gaze to her mouth and back again. “After this case? If the aliens don’t take us?”

Kate rolls her eyes. “Chances of the date are starting to dwindle.”

“Oh, I am so not getting abducted if it means missing a date with you,” he states, startling when a flash of light beams through the car, but it’s coming from their side. Headlights from Ryan and Espo’s cruiser.

“We’re going to find a completely logical, earthbound solution to this case, Castle.”

“And then we’re going to have a date under the stars,” he sighs, ridiculously wistful, but he grins at her, bright and true and making her heart leap, and she shakes her head, but… it sounded nice, kind of perfect, and she can’t wait.

The boys are emerging from their vehicle and Kate moves to join them on the road, but Castle catches her hand before they can exit the car, his thumb landing on the inside of her wrist, caressing the line of her pulse and momentarily stealing her oxygen, causing her lungs to stutter and seize.

“Thanks for showing me the stars, Beckett.”

After the war- George x Reader

The battle of Hogwarts was over.The war was over. Y/N got a telegraph. Fred and Angelina were dead. Her father Remus Lupin and her stepmother Tonks were dead. She stared at the peice of paper. She was hollow inside. “Mummy!” Amelia yelled reaching up from the dinner table. Y/N snapped out of her negative thoughts and put the telegraph down on the kitchen counter. She wiped the tears from her eyes. She couldn’t break down. She had her twins and Sirius, Fred and Angelina’s son to watch and her brother Teddy as well. She smiled. “ Yes, my love?” Amelia pointed to her twin Remus. “More!” She wanted more strawberries like her brother. Y/N began cutting the strawberries. What is she going to do? Sirius was only 5 months old and Teddy almost over a month old. They would never know their parents like she did. She shook her head and handed Amelia some strawberries. Amelia smiled. Remus reached up finished. She couldn’t believe how much her babies have grown in ten months. She placed them down to play in the living room that had been baby proofed. She waited for the family to return to the burrow.

She knew George and his family would be broken. They had lost their Fred. She prepared herself. She couldn’t cry and she couldn’t be anything but, supportive. She could grieve and cry later. She saw her husband come into the burrow. His eyes were red and puffy. It broke her heart she wanted to take all his pain away. He hugged her tightly. Neither of them saying a word a silent agreement between the two. “ Daddy!” Remus and Amelia squealed reaching up. They had crawled from the living room. George rubbed his eyes. Not wanting his kids to see him cry. “ I’ll take them, Darling.” Y/N scooped up the twins and headed back in to the living room. Molly, Arthur, Percy, Ginny, George, Bill and Fleur sat at the table. “What are we going to do about Sirius and Teddy?” Percy said looking at Y/N with the kids. “ Arthur and I can take Sirius.” Molly said. “ No mum. Y/N and I will take him.”George said. Y/N nodded. “ I agree. Molly, Arthur you’ve raised seven children. Ginny is finally old enough to take care of herself. George and I have just started a family and you deserve to relax. We can handle it.” Molly wasn’t sure. “ But, he’s our grandson…3 kids under one is a big deal.” Y/N picked up Sirius. “ I have to agree with them Molly.” Arthur said surprising his wife. “ Face it Molly, we aren’t young anymore, we wouldn’t be able to run around with him. We can still help. Just as grandparents.” A letter came. It was addressed to Y/N. she opened the letter. Before her father and step mother died they wrote in their will that if anything were to happen to them. Y/N and George would be awarded custody. Y/N read it out loud to the family. In less then 48 hours Y/N went from being a mother of two to a mother of four children under one.

Y/N spent most of her time outside with the kids. It was suffocating inside. Every Weasley was grieving. She knew they wouldn’t appreciate loud babies yelling so, she stayed in the garden. When it rained she would take the kids on outing to shops, the muggle library and kids centres. Anywhere to keep them away from the grief of the burrow. Her husband George locked himself in Fred and his childhood room refusing to come out. Ginny sat with her mother in the kitchen most days. Arthur got time off work. He spent it in the living room quietly reading. Percy stayed in his own room grieving. Ron came to stay in his childhood room. Sometimes Hermione or Harry would come over to try to bring light into the home. It was a warm July afternoon two months after the battle of Hogwarts just before the twins first birthday . Y/N had laid out a blanket in the garden under a shady tree. Various toys and books scattered around it. Amelia and Remus sat up playing with blocks. Y/N propped Sirius up with pillows against the tree whilst he looked at a book about baby animals. Y/N had teddy in a baby carrier sling across her chest while he slept listening to her steady heartbeat. Y/N finally had a minute to sit down. She was exhausted. She had to take care of the children on her own. She couldn’t ask these grieving people for help. “ Sing!” Remus yelled. He loved hearing his mother sing. She smiled. “ Okay baby.” She sang like a song bird. It got all the kids attention and kept them from doing anything as if they were hypnotized.

George came down from his room. He could hear Ginny and his mother having an arguement. George stepped into the kitchen. “ What the hell?” Ginny’s eyes were full of rage. “ You!” She looked at George eyes full of fire. “ Ginevra don’t you dare!” Molly yelled. “ No mum! He needs to hear this!” She turned moving closer to George. “ You need to stop wallowing in self pity!” George felt his cheeks glow red. He was mad. “ Self pity? Self pity! I lost my twin brother! My other half! You wouldn’t understand!” Ginny’s face turned as red as her hair. “ He was my brother too! Think about Y/N! She lost Fred, her best friend since childhood, her father and the only mother she has ever known! Right now she’s raising four kids on her own! She hasn’t asked for help!” Ginny began to cry. “ She hasn’t been able to grieve like we have! She’s exhausting herself! Be the father I know you can be dammit!” Ginny ran out the front door. Harry came out chasing her.

Y/N saw Ginny running out the front door. She stops singing. Oh the poor girl is crying. She thought to herself. She saw Harry hold her. “ Mummy!” Amelia yelled getting her mother to pay attention to her. “ Y/N picked up Amelia. “ it’s alright my love.” The sun set and Y/N brought the kids inside. She has Sirius asleep strapped to her back in the baby carrier, teddy asleep in the baby sling, Amelia and Remus were asleep in either arm. She would have laughed at her appearance if she wouldn’t have been in her own shoes. She carried them upstairs. Slowly and quietly. She laid them all in their cots. She flopped down on her bed. She was exhausted she hadn’t even eaten that day but, she was too exhausted so, she drifted to sleep.

Y/N woke up to something she hasn’t felt in a long time. Someone was next to her in bed. She could feel George arms around her waist. It was so comforting. She never wanted to move. “Love? Are you awake?” George said above a whisper. “ Yeah.” George cuddled into her hair. He pulled her closer. She missed this so much. “ I’m sorry I haven’t been with you my love. I haven’t been a good father or a good husband either.” Y/N turned over and touched her husband’s face in the dark. “ Don’t be sorry. You’re grieving.” “ So are you.” Y/N stiffened up. She hadn’t thought about it. It wasn’t real yet. “ I don’t have time to.” Y/N turned around. She closed her eyes. “ My love…you don’t have to be strong all the time.” “ I have no choice George…one of us has to be strong.” George felt his stomach drop. “ I’ll be strong for us now.” When George said that a wave a grief hit Y/N like a tsunami. Her daddy was gone. Her stepmother was the only mother she had was gone, her best friend since she was seven was gone. Fred who helped introduce her to her wonderful husband was gone. She began to shake. Their beautiful children would never know their parents. She finally let her tears flow. She had lost so many people. George held her and let her cry for hours as the children slept in bliss, unaware of the sorrow around them.

Y/N woke up the next morning. She saw George with the two youngest Sirius and Teddy in his arms. “ Hey Sirius. I’m your uncle George. I know I haven’t really been here for awhile but, not to worry. You’re stuck with me. Hello Teddy. You are technically my brother and law so thank you for letting me marry your sister. Please be kind to your niece and nephew Amelia and Remus. They are good kids.” Teddy sneezed. “ Bless ya little man.” He laid Teddy back in his cot. The commotion woke up the twins. “ Daddy?” They said. Confused to see him. He picked them up. “ Hello my mini loves.” They giggled. “ I’m back. I’m here now.” They wrapped their arms around his neck in a hug. It melted Y/N’s heart to see her kids back with their father. George noticed Y/N awake. “ Sorry to wake you my love.” She stood up and walked to the cots. “ It’s perfectly alright.” She picked up Teddy and Sirius. “ We have a beautiful family you know?” George smiled at her statement. “ Ya our family is perfect four perfect little babies and two loving parents.” Y/N nodded and kissed her husband. It may have went from a family of four to a family of six but, it was just as perfect as before. It was even better in fact.“ I love you George.” “ I love you too my love. Forever and always.”