This but a tiny piece - the very beginning - of Chapter 16. It is my attempt to make up for the fact that I’m so bad at being timely in the posting of my chapters, even after leaving my readers with the worst cliffhanger ever.
As per usual, I do not own Wicked. However, this story is mine and I have a personal mafia of rabid fangirls who will go after you if you steal it. ;) I am kidding on the rabid fangirl bit… mostly. There may be edits to this between now and the final posting on ff.net.
Also be forewarned that this contains the stunning visual of Glinda on a toilet. You’re welcome.
I know I’ve always been pretty open about talking about myself/my sexuality & orientation in general, but you’ve been quite a lot to hammer me with questions since my “sexuality is fluid” post and because of some comments I make here and there randomly on my blog, and well, it’s a bit pushy & indiscreet for some of you. Others were genuinely interested because they felt a bit lost in their own shoes, so I’ll just answer with what I’m comfortable saying, once and for all.
I’m gay. I do not like dating much, I do not like romantic relationships much, it can always change but it’s not in my nature to settle down with someone. In addition, I rarely feel romantic connections. I can like someone very, very much, but unadulterated Love is not something I have in me. Also I really don’t care if my partner(s) have crushes on someone else, have sex with someone else, are in love with someone else ; they don’t even need to tell me, as long as everyone else knows everything/are okay with everything.
Again, it can always change (and if it does, I’d be like “hold up I think i’m jealous let’s talk”), and it doesn’t mean I don’t like them “enough”, I would fight 2000 bees for my partner(s). Otherwise, I am the chillest gay. I often like many people are the same time, and liking one person doesn’t mean I like the other more, or less. All partners are different, and I like them all for different reasons. Seeing you trying to make sense of some of the ‘relationships’ I am obvious about online is quite funny. “is she ur gf”, “r u 2 dating”, ah ah ahhh, oh lil sunflowers… And last but not least, I am not asexual, as I feel sexual attraction towards people, but sex isn’t really my fav thing to do. I enjoy kissing more than sex, but again, it depends on a lot of things. The person, the setting, my mood. Which is the case for most people, I think? But it probably has to do with the fact that I am not a hugger/really don’t like to be touched by people unless I say it’s okay. And before anyone ask again (and please stop because it’s a bit gross to ask), no there is no trauma behind that, or at least none that I can recall. I just feel bad/nauseous/my skin crawls suddenly when someone enter my personal space. Most of my partners have the green light to cuddle whenever (the only thing that’s hard with them sometimes is sharing a bed for the night), but other people like most friends or even my best friend, it’s a nono. It tends to change a bit after I drink.
Now that everyone’s curiosity is satisfied, please can we talk about something else like Hayley Atwell’s dimples or how cute fat raccoons are?
I hit 300 followers recently which is A Lot of people so in order to give back I have decided to hold a small giveaway! The winner will receive a one-shot fic, written by me, filling a Dragon Age prompt of their choice. The fic will be at minimum 1000 words. If you’re not familiar with my stuff, my fic master list is over here (I go by Bullfinch on AO3). Some points…
any characters from DA2 or DA:I (haven’t played DA:O in forever…sry)
any pairing as long as it doesn’t squick me
NSFW prompts acceptable (consensual only pls. most kinks are fine, my past works run from perfectly vanilla to unadulterated filth. if something in your prompt squicks me we can work out another prompt)
original Hawkes/Inquisitors acceptable
In order to enter:
must be following me
likes and multiple reblogs allowed, but pls don’t spam your followers, and no giveaway blogs
I’ll pick the winner on Monday, February 29th. Please leave your askbox open! If there’s no response in 3 days I’ll pick another winner.
I think one of the reasons I haven’t touched my story in so long is that I don’t like the direction in which I decided to take it. I have mixed feelings on the medical drama I decided to throw in as a snap decision after the girls’ reunion: it finally makes Glinda a hero, but I feel like so many other writers have used the same device for some cheap drama. And in making Glinda a hero, I’ve also made Elphaba practically helpless. Even after her recovery, she’s terrified to be sexual with Glinda.
I had originally imagined she’d come back to the Emerald City with a little bit of sexual experience under her hat. (In fact, I have a one-shot half-written from her perspective where she sleeps with a woman in the Resistance and has a ton of Glinda angst afterward.) But I’ve become super conscious of my readership and tried to give the romantic fantasy everyone wanted instead of the imperfect reality I imagined. Elphaba is a strong character. Vulnerable, yes, but strong. And I think I’ve made her far too vulnerable and not enough herself.
Which may be why I’m so hesitant to finish what I’ve started. I almost convinced myself that I was just going to give this fanfic up and get on with my life, in which fandom no longer plays such a large role because (to be 100%, self-depreciatingly honest, I’m in a happy relationship and I’m getting laid.) But especially after seeing the new Oz movie and putting my brain back into Oz mode, I miss my witches and I feel like things are unfinished.
I could be one of those writers who completely rewrites her story and pisses everyone off. I could finish out US the best I can. Or I could just start writing something completely different. At this point I’m not sure. But I want to write something.
I am pretty sure a multi-part, Gelphie sequel to my oneshot “Disrepair” is happening. It will aptly be titled “Repair” and feature the weird, still mixed-verse yet still far more bookverse than “Unadulterated Something” characterizations. Hopefully it will not be nearly as long as “Unadulterated Something.” Because I can’t do that to myself again, haha.
I might also be bringing Crope and Tibbet into this one… And leaving Fiyero out.
The story will begin when a sleep-deprived/food-deprived/hypothermic Elphie collapses on her way to class. Why am I so mean to this character when I adore her so much?
Also, why am I working on this instead of “Unadulterated Something?”
Yes, it is finally here. It was originally going to be longer to encompass more events, but I realized that if I don’t post what I have now, nothing is going to get posted until after the holidays. And I couldn’t do that to you guys.
I’m giving myself until the end of my holiday break (about Jan. 5th) as a deadline.
If I do not write an epilogue, I am going to re-write the last chapter to tie up any loose ends and effectively end the story where it is.
In all honesty, that is probably what’s going to happen.
I don’t want to leave the story eternally “unfinished” but I don’t have much time, energy or ambition for fanfic at the moment. It used to be my escape. But my life has changed so much that now it’s more like a chore that keeps me from doing the things I actually want to do. It has too many associations with a past I don’t want to hold onto.
Don’t get me wrong; I’m still going to read and beta fic. But once I get US tied up, that might be it for me as far as writing.