unable to relate

effects of parental abuse

+ the inability or struggle to say “no”, because disobedience meant punishment and you are used to being directed all the time

+ being unable to emotionally relate with your family (especially parents, if they are the abuser). concurring thoughts of “i won’t care if THEY die”, or “they won’t care if I die”

+ always afraid/hesitant to confide in someone else about feelings or thoughts, because you are used to being neglected/dismissed when you talk about your feelings, constantly being replied with “get over it”. the consequence of this is that the emotions/feelings pile up inside over time and, when you reach the limit, you suddenly become self-destructive or imminently violent/emotional

+ however, when given the chance to CONFIDE about your feelings with freedom confidently, everything spills out, even if it’s with a stranger or with someone you have not been in contact for very long.

+ you always assume that the answer to every question/statement you say is “no”, even if you definitely know the person is very likely to say “yes”. you prepare for denial and disappointment and feel a huge wave of relief when they say “yes”.

+ being secretive about enjoyment/liking things, or being secretive in what you’ve done for the day, even if it’s not deemed “bad” or “illegal”.

+ simultaneously confused whether you have affection towards your parent(s) or you hate them whole-heartedly, despite knowing that they abuse you. the confusion stems from “well, they’re my parent, so i think they’re doing this because they love me”, though the thought is, of course, false

+ being scared that people will only take advantage of you, as your parents consequently thought of you as an object to benefit from, and not someone to love.

+ being easily attached to others, because you had no parental figure. this can lead you to being easily manipulated and you are very easily controlled. children under parental abuse are also more likely to have “chosen families”.

+ having an “escape plan” or “last resort” if you still live with your parents, just in case they do something worse to you, thinking up of elaborate plans to get out, how you’ll survive, where you’ll stay, etc.

+ being surprised learning that other parents are unlike your parents, and having to have someone/a source to tell you that what your parents are doing is abusive, and as a child you thought it was normal to be unhappy at home.

+ liking school or days out because that meant being away from your parents

+ developing emotional/personality disorders and distorted thinking

The Signs as Unexplained Feelings
  • Aries: Rubatosis- The unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat.
  • Taurus: Altschmerz- The weariness from the same old issue you've always had.
  • Gemini: Adronitis- The frustration with how long it takes to get to know someone.
  • Cancer: Kuebiko- The state of exhaustion inspired by senseless acts of violence.
  • Leo: Kenopsia- An eerie, forlorn atmosphere of a place that is usually bustling with people but now is abandoned and quiet.
  • Virgo: Ellipism- The sadness from never knowing your destiny.
  • Libra: Occhiolism- The awareness of the smallness of your perspective.
  • Scorpio: Exluanis- The tendency to give up talking about an experience because others are unable to relate to it.
  • Sagittarius: Onism- The frustration of being stuck in one body that inhabits only one place at a time.
  • Capricorn: Lacheism- The desire to be struck by disaster.
  • Aquarius: Nodus Tollens- The realization that the plot of your life doesn't make sense to you anymore.
  • Pisces: Mauerbauertraurigkeit- The inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends and family.

I know there’s been a million posts about this but being a lesbian is so fundamentally alienating because the vast majority of cultural products are by men for men about men and lesbians are literally the only group of people who have no interest in men at all because everyone else is either attracted to men or is a man themselves or both…so you grow up in society hyperfocused on something that you alone out of all your peers have absolutely no stake or interest in, unable to relate to both art/media/fiction and your own peers

Homestuck Meta Theory

Alright, so I know there’s a lot of people disappointed with the ending, again, I sound like a broken record by this point. And don’t get me wrong- While I love the ending, I would still love to see more of the characters and the story! I just feel it’s a good end as it is. I’ve made a lot of theories about what the End means and everything about Act 7, but all of the things I said, about the Jujus, about becoming freed from Paradox Space, it made me think about the rest of the story, and I believe it has made my entire idea of what Homestuck is change.

So the big question here is, what IS Homestuck? Most people, including me, when talking to someone who knows nothing about it, will speak about the story, the 4 Kids playing SBURB, and the subsequent destruction of Earth. And then mention its huge amount of references towards programming languages, popular culture, storytelling in itself, and it’s self-referential nature. But this Ending has got me thinking that maybe the reason why so many people have been disappointed in the End is because they got Hussie’s intentions wrong.

We tend to reference how the humor and the nature of Homestuck’s narrative is a little extra onto the story, and while it is true the story itself and the characters have drawn a big part of the Fandom, I thought… What if the important part of the Narrative isn’t the Story, but the Meta elements.

As soon as I made connection, everything about the ending began to fall into place. I have commented before that I feel Act 7 is like being shown the Good Ending of a video game without seeing its Neutral Route. 

The Kids have Earth, and Juju Vriska uses manages to flip the ending so that instead of being trapped by Paradox Space’s rules…

They manage to ‘End’ the game properly and get their Happy Ever After.

All while Caliborn is shown getting his power of Immortality, and while we’re left ambiguous about what happens to Vriska and Lord English and everyone in the Dream Bubbles…

Another thing people have complained about is the Character Arcs.

They say how ‘different’ the timeline is. What was the point of Rose’s alcoholism if then Vriska just swats the drink away and it never had any relevance anymore? Terezi’s relationship with Gamzee never happened. Dave and Karkat got together? The Game Over Timeline is bad, everyone agrees that people dying is never good, but they also claim that suddenly having all that Character Development changed made them unable to relate to some characters anymore.

And of course there’s always the mention of how Vriska, even though she’s an abusive 8itch, ended up being somewhat of a heroine, or at the very least not seemingly getting too punished…

That’s where the Narrative itself told us there was something off.

DAVE: rose we dont have fuckin “arcs” we are just human beings

Many have mentioned it, about how not having a closure to certain character arcs referenced this portion, the notion that the characters didn’t have an arc. The same way she then references Jade breaking Endgame ships and such. Rose’s power is Light, and her information source comes from the same place as SBURB and Skaia. It’s a game. Of course she’d have the notion that all of them have to fit certain predisposed stereotypes or their stories have to follow a certain pattern- Rose is looking at their lives since SBURB started as it has been. A Story.

But Dave is having none of it. Dave is beyond the thought that all they do has to follow a set pattern, and claims they don’t have character arcs. This might sound like a clever device by Hussie so he didn’t have to explore more of each of these character’s lives and he could close the comic leaving some loose ends but, there’s more.

Hussie? As an entity? Exists within the story. This would be all fun and dandy if it were a couple of stupid references and memes. And that’s what many people think! Most of his appearances in canon have been a joke, really. But…

Hussie joked about his influence on the comic, when his bot-self was about to mess up with the Kids in the Yellow Yard, but eventually didn’t do it. And yet? His fight with Vriska. His interactions with Caliborn. Everything pictured above? Hussie is a physical entity that follows the same rules as everyone else in Paradox Space and can influence the story. But he’s not a self-insert. He IS the Author. He is the one who wrote every of these characters and continued the story. He’s not another character, he’s himself, in the Homestuck Universe.

And then it began to dawn on me, that perhaps the Meta aspect of Homestuck was a bit more than Fourth-Wall Breaking fun and references to real life stuff. Of course, this train of thought led me to another main plot device that has never exactly been explained to its full extent. Jujus.

There’s the Sucker…

The Crowbar…

The House Juju…

A lollipop that could change character’s personalities, making them immediately make up for aaaall of their mistakes without a care in the world, start alchemizing new weapons, and end up exactly where they needed to be.

A crowbar that can break other of these mysterious devices, and more importantly, has been shown to be able to interact with the Website itself, which seems to be its own physical entity as well!

A house that gave John the ability to change the story, and that ended up being used against the Big Bad of the entire comic.

A puppet that trapped the Souls of various characters and became the gateway for the Big Bad of the comic to become who he is.

A mysterious pair of rings that oh so conveniently appear and disappear on characters, and leave you wondering what they really do, but clearly shown to at least be able to revive someone who, by no other means in the story, would have been able to get back to the world of the living.

Jujus are mysterious, when you look at them from the perspective of the characters. They have no beginning, no end, they just appear at some point and do a loop through time, ending up exactly where they appeared first. They are powerful artifacts able to change reality itself, with no explained origin… But we are no characters. We have seen what these things do on the comic through its entire lengths.

Jujus are plot devices meant to alter the Meta of the comic. They are not things that make sense in a true physical reality. They are artifacts that alter the rules of the plot. Because that’s what the plot is. A story. Because Homestuck is not real, and it acknowledges this.

Or at least… It was supposed to acknowledge this. Many have also claimed that the last updates were so disappointing, compared to Cascade, as Cascade managed to solve so many plot points, but this last one felt empty of everything. Plot. Character Development. That’s where Jujus and Hussie come in.

Hussie dies, in his own comic, a comic that acknowledges him as the actual AUTHOR of the events taking place. And later, we see…

Caliborn, the young version of Lord English, acknowledging Hussie’s death, as he takes the rest of Act 6 and makes it his. Through the use of the Command Prompt, through his own drawings, he begins to write his own story.

[S] Cascade had so many plot points resolved, and these last updates didn’t. Because that is the point. Ever since Act 5 ended and Act 6 started, Hussie has begun to lose control of the story. He was killed by Lord English, the big bad, who also took control of the narrative. Vriska acknowledges a narrator speaking, and forces the narrative to shift back to her opening the Juju chest out of frustration. The command prompts, John’s retcons- At this point, Hussie is no longer in control of his characters.

The Game Over timeline was bad, but it felt like it had more Character Development. That is because it was a not-retconned Timeline. The characters had struggles, the plot moved on forward, some people was possessed, it was all prime material for a conflict and a resolution afterwards! But Aranea’s intervention made it a Doomed Timeline. A Bad End. We all know how Doomed Timelines work, so everything that happens there would have been totally irrelevant. But John didn’t want to accept that. Roxy was still alive, and sad. And Terezi wanted him to fix things up. So instead of acknowledging he was in a Doomed Timeline, like Roxy did? Roxy, who saw her mother-daughter die in her arms, and claimed there might be nothing left for them. And meanwhile, John just managed to get his powers ready, zapped back in time and solved everything.

New problems arose in the new Timeline, sure, but not as many. And a lot of the character arcs were suddenly shoved back. Rose no longer struggles with alcoholism, Karkat doesn’t chase after Terezi, and becomes Matesprits with Dave after mellowing down. Gamzee, one of the biggest dangers, is shoved back by Vriska until he’s barely relevant anymore.

And all of this might just be me trying to find an explanation to the sudden loose ends not being tied. But I think, all of this, was meant to express more than Hussie rolling the story back or changing the story to fit other things. No.

We go back to Dave’s words. We’re real people, we don’t have arcs. We are real people. In a comic, where the author is a character, and that always acknowledges it’s a comic? Dave saying they’re real people is big. It was taken as a joke, because they are characters, come on! Right? … Right?

Well of course they are. But that’s the thing. Up until Act 6, all of the various characters were nothing more than that. And even during the Game Over Timeline, they were nothing more than that. But Hussie’s death, the ghosts, no longer relevant, trying to fight back against Lord English? Caliborn’s acknowledgement of a story and trying to take control of it? And finally, John’s powers.

The House Juju gave John something more important than being able to change the Timeline.

The ability to make Selfcest canon.

Wait no- That wasn’t it.

The ability to alter the plot to his own whims.

John’s zapping doesn’t follow the rules of Paradox Space. It allows him to change the timeline as he wishes and it still be the Alpha. Not only that, but he can also warp out of the story itself, sending people and things to the background of the website.

It’s when Vriska starts to try and find this Juju that everything about the narrative begins to shift gears. John now can change the plot. Which means he is not adhering to the rules that bound them all anymore. He can go back, bring people who were dead back to life, save his friends, and aid them get a better ending.

And in this new timeline he’s changed? Everyone seems a bit different. They have gone through different things, and are as confused as anyone else about what is going on. This is the moment where these characters stop being characters.

This isn’t a story about Four Kids playing a Game, getting involved in Shenanigans and trying to live a happy ever after as villains try to plot on destroying them and reality. Homestuck is the tale of the characters from a webcomic, becoming self-aware, and escaping the grasp of the author and the narrative.

I don’t know if this is what Hussie intended, and if it is, at what point he planned to start leading the story this way. I might just be crazy and be reading too much into this? But as I see it? It closes every single loophole in this story.

Doomed Timelines are meant to be nothing. They are meant to fade, and not be relevant anymore. But the ghosts are having none of this. They WANT to be relevant in this story again. They create an army, and head off to defeat the biggest threat in the entire comic.

Caliborn knows reality itself isn’t as it seems, and tries to make his own story within it. He strives to become almighty, and then begins to destroy and rend reality itself so he can make way for his own rule.

Vriska knows she’s in a story, having interacted with the very Author and the command prompt! But she is not trying to change the story- All the opposite. Vriska follows the rules of the story, closes loopholes from what she has seen, but tries to be the one who causes everything. She wants to be in the spotlight of this tale. She creates Bec Noir just because she had seen it in her screen. And knowing this is a story, she goes off of her way to find methods to defeat each of these villains, at any cost. Because in a story, once she defeats these big, powerful foes, she’ll be a heroine, and everyone will regard her so highly, she’ll be over everyone else. Just like she wants.

John? I don’t think he knows he’s in a story. But he has the power to alter it. And after he begins to mess with the timeline, the rules of Paradox Space begin to shatter around him and his friends. Time loops, Rules, Plot, why would they care about how a story goes, if it’s not a story, it’s their lives. They just want to be happy and get away from this cycle of destruction and death.

I’d even go as far as to say God Tier Calliope knows this. If her Land and her Earth were anything like Caliborn’s, she might also been in contact with the command prompt. Perhaps the fact her entire mission was a self-sacrifice to collapse the Green Sun represented how she, too, saw Paradox Space as what it was- A construct that kept these characters trapped as that. Characters. And the only way to escape its grasp was the erase its very existence, using Lord English’s destruction to tear a hole through the comic, and destroy it.

In this way, everything that happens towards the ending makes perfect sense. There are hundreds, thousands, who knows how many timelines, in which every plot hole will be closed. But we’re not following these. It would be easy to cause, say, the Condesce to wake up. Because of her immortality curse given by Lord English. Or the Draconian Dignitary get to the Frog Lily Pad. Something happens, interrupts the kids from entering to the new Session, and bam! Suddenly more plot! Their entrance to the Universe is blocked. Terezi worries about Vriska, so they begin to plot a way to help her defeat Lord English. The black hole in the Session that likely leads to Caliborn’s land becomes relevant, and they all have a trip to beat up Caliborn. Something happens to Calliope, her ring has ended up in Caliborn’s hands as well, he traps the kids, the Alphas beat him up, all loops are closed, we have a bittersweet, predictable ending. And this has happened. In many timelines before. Over, and over. Perhaps the one we’re following isn’t even the Alpha, for that very reason.

But it doesn’t matter. I talked about how the Jujus were a way to alter the plot, and let’s go back to this, and look at my theory about the Kids Souls being Trapped for all eternity in this Juju. The moment Caliborn uses this Juju, he kickstarts the entirety of the rules of Paradox Space. These kids we follow through the story, are trapped in a plot, with rules dictated by narrative that they HAVE to adhere too.

Then the ghosts decide that this is bullshit, and that they, even after death, want to still be relevant. Instigated by Vriska and Meenah, and aided by Aranea’s mind control, they manage to find a way they can alter the plot once again, a Juju. John touches this Juju, and suddenly he gains the power to alter this plot as well, and begins his and his friend’s journey to escape the clutches of Paradox Space and the comic itself.

John was trapped in the house all along. So of course, shoving his arm through it? He managed to grasp at the other side. He got a taste of what it was to be free. And he gained the power of changing the plot as a result.

Then, Vriska becomes alive again. She’s relevant, and bashes down on her ghost self. Ghost self that had at one point tried to make herself relevant, even though since she’s dead she shouldn’t be. This way, Vriska proves that, while she acknowledges the story as a story, and wants to be always present and in the middle, she never sees it as something she has to escape. She has no character development, because now, in this timeline that John has changed, she’s free to do whatever she wants, she’s her own person without a character arc, but doesn’t find the need to become said person. She doesn’t want to change, she wants to keep following the plot, and take down the big bad.

So Vriska takes the house Juju from her alternate self, goes against Lord English, beats up the Author of the comic itself as a last Fuck You, and then uses the Juju towards him. And this is when Alive Vriska makes her big mistake. By following this plot, this story, the Juju house crashes behind her…

She’s on Lord English’s side of the house. Because both of them know the comic is just that, a story. He knows about the narrative, and the author. So he kills the author, and becomes the big evil that must be defeated. Meanwhile, Vriska knows about the narrative, and the author, so she beats up the author and tries to become the heroine.

Caliborn and Vriska could very well strive to break free of Paradox Space in other ways, but instead they do what they do best- Be themselves, and fuck shit up in the process. And it’s this mentality that in the end, as the House Juju appears, tells us that both of them have been doomed. Doomed to be trapped in this Collapsing Paradox Space there’s no escape from.

Except there is an escape.

Because the door opens. It opens for the Kids and Trolls on the lily pad. And it opens for the Ghost Army and everyone else in the Bubbles. These are people that have been living aside from the story for a long time. The ones that are alive in the Session have had John change everything and the events happening after make them question Paradox Space itself. And the dead ones or the ones just stuck in the Furthest Ring? They fear being forgotten. They fear being erased by the collapsing Paradox Space, and had faced Lord English to try and become relevant once more.

Of course Condy’s curse didn’t wake her up. Of course DD didn’t appear. The moment the Juju appears, the story is done. There is no more plot. Because it’s not a story. The ones wanting to follow the plot are now seeing it crumble, seeing everything end. And the ones that wanted to become relevant against Paradox Space- Why would they need to even follow the rules? They are trying to escape them.

The Plot Holes are part of the plot in itself. John and everyone else didn’t need to fill it up. Because they are not part of the story anymore. We didn’t see their character arcs close. Because they are not characters anymore. They are not characters anymore. They don’t need to show us they have grown- Or maybe they haven’t even grown. They are always growing, learning. But now, they have escaped this evil Universe that trapped them and forced into cruel and crueler situations. They have escaped to a peaceful realm. They don’t need to keep following the story. They are happy and free to live their lives however they want.

They are finally happy.

Harsh Venus Aspects ♀

Sun conjunct Venus: Not typically a disharmonious aspect and only applicable if the sun/Venus conjunction is afflicted by other circumstances. Difficulty creating cohesive interactions that benefit the development of the ego and possibly friction with masculine figures. Exhibits an attractive personality of tact and captivating charisma and inclined to exercise artistic practices. Charm can be used as a form of manipulation. Apt to be physically indulgent, lazy and self-concerned. Can embody and identify (sun) with the Handheld Mirror (Venus ♀), and reflect the character of other people, which makes an excessively accommodating character where they are unable to express themselves individually/genuinely.

Moon opposite/square Venus: Unable to emotionally relate to others and develop harmonious relationships with the mother, sister or feminine figures. The natural absorber and reflector of light (moon ◯) internalizes the Handheld Mirror (Venus ♀) so often reflects and mimics the emotions of others, disregarding their own emotional needs. The sense of creativity, music and imagination are strong and possibly used as coping mechanisms. A need to love and be loved. Feels they need relationships, so can experience moments of melancholy during loneliness. Apt to be indulgent and an exhibit clinginess/neediness. Creates superficial and unmeaningful relationships with others for the sake of wanting to be loved rooted from a fear of abandonment.

Mercury conjunct Venus:  Not typically a disharmonious aspect and only applicable if the mercury/Venus conjunction is afflicted by other circumstances. The way of thinking is optimistic, sweet and refined and the individual is inclined to the arts, music and literature. The conscious perception of realistic love may be flawed and idealized and the way of thinking can accommodate more to others then themselves. A superficial tongue and thought trend where lying may become a problem for the sake of wanting to be adored by everyone. A strong yearning for social connection with love always on the mind, yet contradicts themselves by tending to lose interest in interpersonal relationships erratically. 

Mars opposite/conjunct/square Venus: The anima and animus struggle (mars) to reach harmony (Venus). This is the romantic adventurer who possesses unyielding principles of justice, diplomacy and equity. If sexually inclined, enjoys the fusion of sex and love. There is much ambition regarding Venusian matters such as money, love and pleasure. The pleasure principle however, is prone to compulsion such as impulse buying or reckless sexual urges that must be consciously balanced. Attracted to danger. The individual wants to be independent, so could aggressively reject interpersonal and social relationships where they may feel trapped, dispirited and uninspired, even though they desire it so much. Apt to be the partner who leads and fights for love, yet also the partner who dictates, controls, bullies and causes strife within relationships. Venus is the handheld mirror (♀ reflection and projection) so they may attract partners of combative essence. Self-isolating due to the feeling that they only need to love themselves, yet self-antagonize in frustration when they wonder why love does not come their way.

Jupiter opposite/square Venus: The two favorable benefics contacting each other regardless of circumstance seldom creates friction, yet the love (Venus) and charitable (Jupiter) principles are swelled dramatically and the individual asks too much or gives too much in relationships. There is a constant search for “god” within everyone they meet, creating unrealistic idealizations of people, who are only human. The character is jovial and free-spirited where they are apt to see relationships as mere one-time adventures as opposed to devoting union, creating one who wishes to escape from relationships in fear their freedom is in jeopardy and not realizing that one can free their heart with others. Nonetheless, the character is good-natured, adventurous and big-hearted. Much emphasis on indulging in pleasure and focusing on mundane discoveries, such as desiring ample material wealth and valuing physical appearance, unaware that inner discovery is the “god” they are looking for, where genuine richness and appreciation rest within. 

Saturn opposite/conjunct/square Venus: The love principle is frozen in time and takes an eternity to thaw and realize its truest potential. The temperament and response to affection is awkward, withdrawn and reserved. Likewise, the expression of love or affection is slow to surface and the individual can experience emotional delays when reciprocating love. There are ambitions of material security and self-cultivation, but a fear of reaching for them. Saturn bestows a sense of abandonment to the loving nature and the individual may feel as though they have never received love that provided guidance to a dignified sense of self-worth. The coldness, distance and detachment that was projected onto them is projected onto others. When they are open to affection and social interaction, there is a high tendency to bitterly judge, criticize and minimize received affections which further restrict their own loving nature. With time however, (Saturn) the flower blossoms (Venus).

Uranus opposite/conjunct/square Venus: The character is buzzing with unique charisma. There is a liking to the unusual and the individual typically has a quirky aesthetic sense. Acts of affection and love are unconventional and they are prone to experiencing sudden upsets within relationships due to their inconsistency. Outwardly magnetizing yet inwardly high-strung, vacillating and temperamentally emotional causing unpredictable behavior. A tendency to get bored with people and their routine which creates a desire for thoughtless and irresponsible recklessness as a form of seeking change. Needs to practice giving as much space and freedom as they demand for themselves. Wants a connective social circle and unifying relationships yet will refuse to give themselves completely for the sake of preserving their independence and individuality.

Neptune opposite/conjunct/square Venus: The love principle (Venus) is dissolved, unclear (Neptune) so the person can feel uncertain and clueless concerning all themes of Love. The individual is sacrificial to their loved ones or has unrealistic and idealized expectations that their loved ones should sacrifice for them. Apt to fall for those who are unavailable or who need saving, bringing pain in their relationships. Can use art, daydreaming, music, spirituality and other creative expressions as a form of escapism. Inspirational to others and emits an alluring, captivating presence. Often projects their fantasies onto other people, imagining the ‘perfect’ partner and likewise their projections are reflected (♀) and they are romanticized by others. Apt to indulge and find pleasure (Venus) in their self-martyrdom (Neptune). Addicted to the idea of love but does not manifest the idea into action beyond dreams. Could be unknowingly deceptive; possesses unusual values; and shows inconsistency with resources. A desire for celestial union. The loving spirit (Venus) contacts the higher octave of love (Neptune) and so the loving nature is either elevated (Divine, Universal Love) or drowned (Delusional, Suffering Love).  

Pluto opposite/conjunct/square Venus: Self-fulfilling prophecy that love=doom and the power of the handheld mirror projects (♀) this attitude onto others and therefore makes doom happen in relationships; ruin comes true only because of their antagonistic and distrustful perceptions regarding love. The mirror is dual, what an individual sends out is what an individual will receive back. Sultry, strange compelling charm and an ability to master social situations. Can see sex as a beautiful art form. Must let go of possessive and jealous behaviors. Can abuse the love principle and use it to indulge in their obsessions: power, money, control and pleasure. Demand the utmost privacy yet infiltrates, probes and invades the privacy of others. Needs to practice monitoring their lust, greed and other compulsive desires. Deeply longs for love and being empowered by it, but refuse to acknowledge that only until they are truly loving themselves (until they surrender themselves genuinely to love) will love transform and embolden their spirit.

Bruised (Richie/Eddie) 5/12

Summary: It’s 1993 and the summer from many years ago is dead and gone. Many have drifted apart from the Losers club and its at the point where there is no club at all. The atmosphere is cold just like the winter months and the only blushes to be found are the ones that are caused from the piercing spikes of cold that heat skin up. Being a teenage boy is hard; especially for the two boys that now count each other as strangers. In which both boys make a plan, but both disrupt each others.

Warning(s):  Fluff & Angst

A/N: A scene is lowkey inspired by the perks of a wallflower in this chapter sksk enjoy you little cuties !! sorryforthewait

Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 

Richie pulled over, smirking as he watched Eddie’s confusion grow.

“You stopped here?”

“Yep, now get out.” Richie hummed, before climbing out of the truck doorway- grabbing his keys and standing to his feet.

Eddie was confused, his head tilted as he climbed out and looked at his surroundings. What stood before him was a tall abandoned carpark building surrounded in intertwining railings, the strands of thin grass below standing tall and knee length to Eddie.

“This is an abandoned building.”

“Well done, captain K.” Richie spoke with sarcasm, hands in his pockets, “This is my hideout.”

Eddie stepped forward next to Richie, glancing at the wired railings that stood before them both. “So, how do you get into the hideout?”

Richie hummed yet again, walking along the side of the metal, his fingers trailing against each curve. His eyes fixated on a small gap that he used to climb through when he was younger. “I’m presuming you’re not a climber, right Eds?”

“I am not climbing that thing, no way.” Eddie folded his arms, “There should just be an entrance-”

Keep reading

Zodiac Signs as... Emotions People Feel but Can’t Explain.
  • Aries: Lachesism– The desire to be struck by disaster – to survive a plane crash, or to lose everything in a fire.
  • Taurus: Chrysalism– The amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm.
  • Gemini: Onism– The frustration of being stuck in just one body, that inhabits only one place at a time.
  • Cancer: Liberosis– The desire to care less about things.
  • Leo: Anecdoche– A conversation in which everyone is talking, but nobody is listening.
  • Virgo: Rubatosis– The unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat.
  • Libra: Nodus Tollens– The realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore.
  • Scorpio: Opia– The ambiguous intensity of looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable.
  • Sagittarius: Rückkehrunruhe– The feeling of returning home after an immersive trip only to find it fading rapidly from your awareness.
  • Capricorn: Exulansis– The tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it.
  • Aquarius: Monachopsis– The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.
  • Pisces: Énouement– The bittersweetness of having arrived in the future, seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell your past self.

What IS dysphoria?

Okay, I’m really annoyed by people thinking dysphoria is only debilitating, obvious to self body hate so they must be non-dysphoric. First off, let’s define dysphoria: Sex dysphoria is a disconnect, dissociation, or other discomfort a person has with their sex and/or sex characteristics. It can present A LOT of different ways and be very subtle.

I’m compiling this list to help people see how confusing dysphoria really can be. If you’ve experienced dysphoria in a way that isn’t listed here, please say something to me and I’ll add it. You can read my person experience with my subtle dysphoria that was more obvious upon looking back: [Link]

Ways Dysphoria can present: 
- [Unexplained] depression or anxiety. 
- [Unexplained] anhedonia (inability to feel pleasure or joy)
- Phantom penis or breasts.
- Something feeling “off” or “wrong” in the mirror. 
- Disliking being naked or seeing oneself naked. 
- [Unexplained] anxiety or depression after orgasm or sexual contact. 
- A physical anxiety-like feeling, especially when reminded of one’s sex. 
- Desire to mutilate sex characteristics such as genitals or breasts. 
- [Unexplained] irritability. 
- [Unexplained] resentment for sex opposite of yours. 
- Jealousy of the sex opposite of yours. 
- Feeling uncomfortable, anxious, depressed, resentful, or jealous when people of the sex opposite to yours talk about sex-specific experiences. 
- Stuffing pants/pushing in genitals from a young age and finding it gratifying. 
- Extreme fear of or worse anxiety than normal towards puberty. 
- Stuffing family member’s bras. 
- Making phallic objects and pretending you have a penis. 
- Taking sex toys and finding enjoyment out of pretending you have a penis. 
- Taking every chance with delight to dress up as the opposite sex as a “joke”
- Extreme aversion to gender non-conformity, often times hyper masculinity/femininity to the point of being toxic.  
- [Unexplained] general dissatisfaction when looking in the mirror, especially when naked. 
- Avoidance to being naked. 
- Avoidance to being seen naked by people who it’d normally be acceptable: (Significant others, doctors, etc.)
- Feeling “disconnected” or “Dissociated” from one’s body, especially sex characteristics. 
- Feeling like you’re watching a movie through your eyes. 
- EUPHORIA from transitioning, noticing changes, passing, or doing things reminiscent of the sex opposite of yours. 
- Poor perception of time, days mashing together, time going by fast or slow, etc. 
- Trouble with memory and/or focus. 
- [Unexplained] Flat Affect: Dull emotions, dull facial expressions, dull expression in general.
- General apathy and indifference. . 
- [ Unexplained] General dissatisfaction with life. 
- [Unexplained] Dislike of sex and masturbation. 
- [Unexplained] Discomfort with sex and masturbation. 
- [Unexplained] Uncomfortable physical or emotional feelings or mood swings after orgasm, sex, or masturbation.
- Avoiding sex and masturbation despite wanting to partake in them to avoid uncomfortable feelings after. 
- Feeling as if you’re putting on a performance. 
- Feeling unable to relate to peers of your sex. 
- Feeling more negative or personally hurt about homophobia directed at sex opposite of yours. 
- Frequent daydreaming about being the opposite sex. 
- Frequently making video game or original characters of the opposite sex. 
- Feeling more uncomfortable than normal about hearing your voice played back on a device.
- Feeling uncomfortable in clothing that accentuates your sex characteristics, such as (FtM) women’s jeans making you appear more curvy. 
- Feeling like your libido should be higher or lower, more like the opposite sex.
- Other issues or discomfort with sex or masturbation involving natal genitals, such as vaginismus or vestibulodynia.
- [Unexplained] Dissatisfaction or discomfort with height, feeling you should be taller or shorter/more like the opposite sex. 
- [Unexplained] Strong connection to fictional characters of the opposite sex who you are not attracted to. 
- [Unexplained] Feeling of not belonging or being out of place in social settings where everyone is the same sex as you. 
- As a child, not feeling connected to peers of the same sex. 
- [Unexplained] Extreme aversion to reproducing. 
- [Unexplained] (MtF) Positive or euphoric feelings when thinking about being pregnant.
- (FtM) Using a strap on during sex feels more natural and enjoyable during sex, and (MtF) being penetrated feels more natural and enjoyable.
- [Unexplained] Discomfort or feeling of wrongness at the rate of muscle growth from working out. 
- [Unexplained] Discomfort with fat distribution, especially below the waist.
- Thinking you’re doing something different from what you’re doing when expressing gender nonconformity. Like putting make-up on in front of the mirror as FTM = “Oh my god look at me I’m so faggy!” Building muscle at the gym as MTF = “I’m a strong woman! Subverting gender roles! Breaking the glass ceiling!” There’s dissociation between what you know is actually happening (you look gender conforming) and what you imagine you’re doing.
- Jealousy of trans people who have gotten certain surgeries done
- Difficulty forming connections with people, especially of the same sex.
- Difficulty expressing yourself.
- Unstable identity as an adult. 
- General feeling that something about you is “off” or “different”.
- Switching clothing styles often due to unexplainable dissatisfaction.
- [Unexplained] dissatisfaction with overall appearance.

Thanks, for several suggestions, Trans-Mettaton! :)

THIS IS NOT EVEN CLOSE TO EVERYTHING. Please send me suggestions and additions of your experiences or others you’ve heard and I will happily and anonymously add them, but right now I’m drawing a blank.

It’s also important to note while gender nonconformity is very common among trans people prior to transition, it is NOT inherently dysphoria or a sign of being trans. Gender nonconformity and disliking/being uncomfortable with gender roles, or your sex/sex characteristics being assigned a gender role, can mimic being trans and having sex dysphoria. The important distinction is that sex dysphoria has to do with SEX. So your physical body, anatomy, physiology, being seen and treated as the sex you want to transition to, etc. Gender roles have to do with behavior, perceptions, roles, presentation, etc. 

Pretty much all of these examples can be caused by other things as well, so if you relate to a thing or two on this list it doesn’t necessarily mean dysphoria. If you relate to a lot of things on this list, I’d start questioning things though.

I hope this can help clear up what dysphoria really is so we can finally help questioning people better,

The signs as inexplicable feelings

Aries: Onism (the frustration of being stuck in just one body that inhabits only one place at a time)

Taurus: Vemödalen (the frustration of photographing something amazing when thousands of identical photos already exist) 

Gemini: Rubatosis (the unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat) 

Cancer: Chrysalism (the amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm) 

Leo: Liberosis (the desire to care less about things.) 

Virgo: Altschmerz (weariness with the same old issues that you’ve always had – the same boring flaws and anxieties that you’ve been gnawing on for years.) 

Libra: Mauerbauertraurigkeit (the inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like.) 

Scorpio: Opia (the ambiguous intensity of looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable) 

Sagittarius: Nodus Tollens (the realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore) 

Capricorn: Jouska (a hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head.) 

Aquarius: Exulansis (the tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it.) 

Pisces: Sonder (the realization that each passerby has a life as vivid and complex as your own.) 

exulansis

n. the tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it—whether through envy or pity or simple foreignness—which allows it to drift away from the rest of your life story, until the memory itself feels out of place, almost mythical, wandering restlessly in the fog, no longer even looking for a place to land.

The ‘100 days of productivity’ challenge can be an overwhelming experience, that’s not a big surprise. 100 days of doing something productive every single day?, it’s not always that easy. Not everybody can manage to finish the challenge when they start it, which is ok, but nothing is impossible either! Here there are some tips to help you on your journey through the most (in)famous challenge among studyblrs:

1. Redefine ‘productivity’. Productivity doesn’t need to mean homework or studying for an exam, but it can go from visiting your grandparents to grocery shopping or even travelling. There are going to be days within the 100 in which you are going to be unable to do study-related things because you’re sick, it’s a big day like Christmas or a birthday, or because you are on vacation away from home. But that’s totally fine! ‘Productive’ is anything that makes your day worth it, that will make you go to bed with satisfaction and the feeling that you made that day count. I’ll for sure consider ‘productive’ a day in which you had an important conversation that you were postponing with your parents, an unexpected date with someone you like, or a visit to Ikea to buy furniture for your new room. But try to do as many ‘studyblr’-related things as possible as well, as that’s the spirit of the challenge!

2. Take pictures ahead if you need to. There are days in which inspiration is not at its peek or you just can’t be bothered to snap a photo of what you’re doing. I usually keep a couple of extra pictures of things that I do almost daily so I can use them other days. The book that you’re currently reading + a coffee, or your laptop + your planner, you know, that sort of things that are representative of most of your study days. I believe it’s totally fine to skip posting a picture some days, or even upload one for two or three different days, but this is a useful trick for those who at least want to try to post photos almost every day of the challenge.

3. Plan properly, divide your tasks evenly among your days so none of them ends up being too bulky and drains your energy. I’ve found out that when I have a week of crazy work I find myself procrastinating more the next one, as I’m too burned from the previous days. I also use this idea of planning for dividing my errands among days, so I have to go outside the house and walk around the city doing stuff ever single day, to achieve my goal of 10k steps per day. Obviously this is not for everybody, it’s just an example depending on your goals, as you could easily do the opposite: run all your errands in one day so you don’t waste a lot of time in the afternoons, for example!

4. Try to follow a strike on something. Use the challenge as a way to track a strike on a thing that you want to incorporate in your habits. Mine is Duolingo, but it could be reading every day, making your bed every morning, or not drinking soda, whatever you want to achieve! I’ll say that if you actually want to do a 100/100 you shouldn’t pick habits that can vary easily, like waking up or going to bed early, as it is very possible that one day you won’t manage to do so because you’ll be on a party, have had a bad night sleep, or any other thing.

5. Think what you want to get from the experience. It’s kind of related with the previous point. ‘100 days of productivity’ doesn’t need to be only a ‘I’ll work for 100 days straight’-thing but it can be the path to achieve a goal. Vision yourself gaining something from it and you’ll be more likely to finish the challenge. It can be something very specific like learning the first steps of a new language or, like in my case, something more broad like achieving better discipline or learning to plan more efficiently.

6. Use the challenge as a journal. Especially if you don’t own one, it is nice to be able to read what you did on the previous days of the challenge to check how your overall performance is going. Express yourself, tell us about your day in the description of those cute pics you took early on. I don’t like to write a lot nor get too personal, but it’s nice to describe better how you think you did one day or which other things that are not related to the challenge happened to you that day, very briefly. It’s a very nice way to engage with the studyblr community and get to know each other as well!

7. Not all days have to be extremely productive. It’s ok to be tired, sick, or fall a bit out of track! It is enough if in a low day you manage to do something tiny like tidy your room, as I would for sure consider a success to fight tiredness to do at least one thing. Don’t be too hard on yourself, normally it’s not possible to be an excellent student for 100 days in a row.

8. Tips on pictures. Last but not least here I have a compilation of easy and quick tips for those who are a bit lost in the ‘What to post?’ department:

  • Things you can photograph that might look cute: your notes, your planner or bujo, the book you’re currently reading, your desk, some stationery, your computer, the library, your textbook, the trees you manage to plant in Forest…
  • Things that you can add to your picture to jazz it up: stationery, beauty products (hand cream, lipstick/lip balm, face mask…), snacks (fruit, cake, pop corn, sweets…), drinks (tea, coffee, hot chocolate, smoothy…), a cozy sweater or blanket, jewelry, your pencil case, your glasses, a plant, your bag, electronics (tablet, headphones, mouse…), your watch, a candle…
  • Vary your background once in a while. Very optional, but it’s a way to not have very repetitive pictures. Use your desk, your floor, your bed sheets, a piece of paper… depending on which ‘vibe’ you’re feeling that day.
  • Be true to yourself! You don’t have to go with what’s ‘trendy’ in the community if you don’t like it. If you like pictures au naturel, don’t edit them a lot; if you like greens to pop a lot, add a filter that makes that effect. You do you!
  • If you can, take the pictures in the morning. It is less likely that you forget to do it if you don’t postpone it, plus most of the people find natural lighting more beautiful than artificial.
  • You don’t have to post something study-related if you don’t want to. What you did in your break, your work-out session and your meal outside with a friend are also valid, if you consider them part of the productive stuff you made that day.
  • Don’t overthink it. I just grab a couple of things that I’ve been using and the first things I can think of to ‘decorate’ the picture. I do a quick arrangement and a very simple editing and done! The whole process can take me as much four minutes of my time in days in which I am not very inspired. The challenge is call ‘100 days of productivity’, not ‘100 days of studyblr aesthetic’, so don’t worry a lot about it. Honestly, your favourite pictures may not do as well as you thought, while that one that you didn’t fancy as much might get a lot of feedback, you can never guess it beforehand. The most important thing is to remember that this challenge is to improve yourself, not your studyblr account, and your success in it is measured by your work, not the number of your notes.

All I have to say is good luck to anybody that wants to give this a chance! Enjoy and learn about yourselves (and about a bunch of other things), we’re all cheering for you!

The Types’ Obscure Sorrows

ESTJ - Onism: The frustration of being stuck in just one body, that inhabits only one place at a time.

ISTJ - Énouement: The bittersweetness of having arrived in the future, seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell your past self.

ENFP - Anecdoche: A conversation in which everyone is talking, but nobody is listening

INFP - Vellichor: The strange wistfulness of used bookshops.

ESFJ - Sonder: The realization that each passerby has a life as vivid and complex as your own.

ISFJ - Opia: The ambiguous intensity of Looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable.

ENTP - Adronitis: Frustration with how long it takes to get to know someone.

INTP - Monachopsis: The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.

ENFJ - Jouska: A hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head.

INFJ - Exulansis: The tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it.

ESTP - Lachesism: The desire to be struck by disaster – to survive a plane crash, or to lose everything in a fire.

ISTP - Occhiolism: The awareness of the smallness of your perspective.

ENTJ - Mauerbauertraurigkeit: The inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like.

INTJ - Ellipsism: A sadness that you’ll never be able to know how history will turn out.

ESFP - Vemödalen: The frustration of photographing something amazing when thousands of identical photos already exist.

ISFP - Chrysalism: The amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm.

The Signs as Emotions People Feel But Can’t Explain
  • Aries: "Kuebiko - A state of exhaustion inspired by acts of senseless violence." Aries that are provoked by the smallest things if it’s about something they believe in, that will do anything and everything to fight for what’s right, that will exhaust their physical and mental energy for anything and everything they deem precious to them.
  • Taurus: "Chrysalism - The amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm." Taurians that can fall asleep to the sound of light rain and yet be most productive to dark clouds and thunder and heavy rainfall, that feel most relaxed seeing raindrops against windowpanes and the ground.
  • Gemini: "Sonder - The realization that each passerby has a life as vivid and complex as your own." Geminis that can go throughout their day without thinking twice about the person next to them, but can meet eyes with a stranger and imagine, without even trying, their entire lives, from the glaringly obvious to the most miniscule details.
  • Cancer: "Liberosis - The desire to care less about things." Cancers that wear their hearts and their innermost emotions on their sleeves, that care about everyone they meet even when they don’t want to; the sheer amount of emotion they have may overwhelm them and even when they say they don’t care, some part of them still does.
  • Leo: "Anecdoche - A conversation in which everyone is talking, but nobody is listening" Leos that speak because they have so much on their mind, that want to get everything out and want people to listen, that hear other people but are already itching to speak, and they’re already thinking of what to say next even as they speak.
  • Virgo: "Énouement -The bittersweetness of having arrived in the future, seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell your past self" Virgos that rush through life to get to the next stage, to get better, that eventually reach their goal and realize that this isn’t even what they wanted in the first place, and now all they want is to slow down, to start over and think less, enjoy more, live with no regrets.
  • Libra: "Occhiolism - The awareness of the smallness of your perspective." Libras that can be in the center of a crowd, can be in the middle of a conversation and suddenly shut down mentally because they’ve just realized something huge, that will listen to someone else speak even while their minds are racing, already on the way to stumbling across some profound discovery.
  • Scorpio: "Adronitis - Frustration with how long it takes to get to know someone." Scorpios that love knowing people because they want to be needed, that want all of a person for themselves even if they don’t recognize it yet, that hate seeing someone being more friendly with someone else because that person is theirs, even if they don’t know it yet.
  • Sagittarius: "Onism - The frustration of being stuck in just one body, that inhabits only one place at a time." Sagittarians that want to see and feel and do and experience everything all at once, that freeze when they realize they can’t; the rhythm of life and the earth is in their blood and wanderlust is almost overpowering at times and they hate not being able to give into it.
  • Capricorn: "Ellipsism - A sadness that you’ll never be able to know how history will turn out." Capricorns that want to know as much as they can, that can place logic and reason and realism over emotion, that rationalize their emotions without thinking, and end up strangely saddened when they realize there is no answer.
  • Aquarius: "Vemödalen - The frustration of photographic something amazing when thousands of identical photos already exist." Aquarians that work hard because they want to be better than they already are, than what someone else can do, that can spend hours and days perfecting something they enjoy just to get that much better.
  • Pisces: "Exulansis - The tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it." Pisceans that can have whole worlds inside their heads, that can never explain things correctly because the right word just isn’t there, that know the words and can’t put them together because nothing sounds just right, that have been to places and seen things and done things and can’t share their experiences because words just aren’t enough.
Interesting and Unique Words

As part of one of my New Year’s resolutions - it was to learn new words to add to my vocabulary and I’ve compiled a list thus far (it’s about 350+ words compiled in a list as of original post date [01/12/2016]) of all the words that I found simply and absolutely beautiful, fascinating yet familiar, different (as in, not in the English language; words that have no English translation), colloquial, uncommon, archaic, obsolete - just flat-out distinctive than what we normally use in today’s context and such. 

  • Abibliophobia (n.) - The fear of running out of reading material.
  • Abditory (n.) - A place into which you can disappear; a hiding place.
  • Abendrot (n.) - The color of the sky while the sun is setting.
  • Accismus (n.) - Feigning disinterest in something while actually desiring it.
  • Adoxography (n.) - Beautiful writing on a subject of little or no importance.
  • Agelast (n.) - Someone who never laughs.
  • Ailurophile (n.) - A cat-lover.
  • Aleatory (adj.) - Relying on chance or an uncontrolled element in the details of life or in the creation of art.
  • Alethiology (n.) - The study of truth.
  • Alexithymia (n.) - Inability to describe emotions verbally.
  • Ambulant (adj.) - Moving from place to place.
  • Ambulate (v.) - To walk about or move from place to place.
  • Anacampserote (n.) - Something that can bring back a lost love.
  • Anagnorisis (n.) - The critical moment of recognition or discovery.
  • Anecdoche (n.) - A conversation in which everyone is talking, but nobody is listening.
  • Anhimmeln (v.) - To be enraptured by someone (literally, as if looking at the sky).
  • Anoesis (n.) - A state of mind consisting of pure sensation of emotion without cognitive content.
  • Apanthropinization (n.) - The resignation of human concerns; withdrawal from the world and its problems.
  • Apodyopsis (n.) - The act of mental undressing someone.
  • Appetence (n.) - An eager desire, an indistinct inclination; an attraction or a natural bond.
  • Apricity (n.) - The warmth of the sun in winter.
  • Arcadian (adj.)- Idyllically innocent; simple and untroubled by fear or worry.
  • Assemblage (n.) - A gathering.
  • Asterisms (n.) - “Marking with stars”; a word that gives weight or draws attention to the words that follow; related to asterism, a constellation or a starlike figure of light.
  • Astrophile (n.) - A person who loves stars, astronomy.
  • Atelophobia (n.) - The fear of imperfection; the fear of never being good enough.
  • Athazagoraphobia (n.) - The fear of being forgotten or ignored.
  • Aubade (n.) - A poem or song greeting the dawn.
  • Aurora (n.) - Dawn.
  • Autophile (n.) - A person who loves solitude, being alone.
  • Autophobia (n.) - The fear of oneself or being alone.
  • Axiomatic (adj.) - Self-evident; obvious.
  • Backpfeifengesicht (n.) - A person who needs to be slapped; lit. “a face that needs a fist in it”.
  • Balter (v.) - To dance gracelessly, without particular art or skill, but perhaps with some enjoyment.
  • Basorexia (n.) - The overwhelming desire to kiss.
  • Becoming (adj.) - Attractive.
  • Bedash (v.) - To dash or spatter something all over.
  • Beleaguer (v.) - To exhaust with attacks.
  • Bel-espirt/beaux-esprits (n.) - A person of great wit or intellect.
  • Billet-doux (n.) - A love letter.
  • Blatherskite (n.) - A person given to voluble, empty talk.
  • Bletting (n.) - The ripening of fruit until the desired degree of softness is attained.
  • Bohemian (n.) - Gypsy, wanderer; a person, musician, artist or writer who lives a free spirited life and believes in truth, freedom, and love.
  • Boketto (v.) - The act of gazing vacantly into the distance without thinking.
  • Bolide (n.) - A large, brilliant meteor, especially one that explodes.
  • Bombinate (v.) - To make a humming or buzzing noise.
  • Borborygmi (n.) - The rumbling sounds your stomach makes.
  • Brontide (n.) - The low rumble of distant thunder.
  • Brood (v.) - To think alone.
  • Brumous (adj.) - Of grey skies and winter days; filled with heavy clouds or fog; relating to winter or cold, sunless weather.
  • Bucolic (adj.) - In a lovely rural setting.
  • Bungalow (n.) - A small, cozy cottage.
  • Caim (n.) - “Sanctuary”; an invisible circle of protection, drawn around the body with the hand, to remind one of being safe and loved, even in the darkest of times.
  • Camarilla (n.) - Small group of people with a shared purpose.
  • Carriwitchet (n.) - A pun or a paradox; a riddling question.
  • Catharsis (n.) - The purging or release of emotional tensions, especially through kinds of art or music.
  • Cavil (v.) - To raise irritating and trivial objections; find fault with unnecessarily.
  • Cavil riscaldati (v.) - lit. “reheated cabbage”; the attempt to revive a long-finished love affair.
  • Ceraunophile (n.) - A person who loves lightning and thunder.
  • Charientism (n.) - An artfully veiled insult.
  • Chatoyant (adj.) - Like a cat’s eye.
  • Chimerical (adj.) - merely imaginary; fanciful.
  • Chrysalism (n.) - The amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm.
  • Claptrap (n.) - Pretentious but insincere or empty.
  • Clinomania (n.) - Excessive desire to stay in bed.
  • Clinophile (n.) - The lover of reclining, lying in bed.
  • Clinquant (adj.) - glittering; tinsel-like.
  • Cogitation (n.)  Concerted thought or reflection.
  • Comely (adj.) - Attractive.
  • Commuovere (v.) - To stir, to touch, to move to tears.
  • Conflate (v.) - To blend together.
  • Consanguinity (n.) - Close relationship or connection.
  • Contiguous (adj.) - Touching; in contact.
  • Corrachag-cagail (n.) - Dancing and flickering ember flames.
  • Crapehanger (n.) - A person who sees the gloomy side of things.
  • Cynophile (n.) - A person who loves canines; a dog lover.
  • Cynosure (n.) - A focal point of admiration.
  • Dactylogram (n.) - A fingerprint.
  • Dalliance (n.) - A brief love affair.
  • Dappy (adj.) - Silly, disorganized or lacking concentration.
  • Deipnosophist (n.) - A person who is an adept conversationalist at the table.
  • Demesne (n.) - Dominion, territory.
  • Demure (adj.) - Shy and reserved.
  • Denouement (n.) - The resolution of a mystery.
  • Desideratum (n.) - An ardent longing, as for something lost.
  • Desuetude (n.) - Disuse.
  • Desultory (adj.) - Slow, sluggish; lacking a plan, purpose or enthusiasm.
  • Diaphanous (adj.) - Filmy; light, delicate, and translucent.
  • Dirl (v.) - To thrill, to vibrate, to penetrate; to tremble or quiver.
  • Dissemble (v.) - Deceive; concealing a feeling, motive or intention.
  • Dormiveglia (n.) - The space that stretches between sleeping and waking.
  • Drapetomania (n.) - An overwhelming urge to run away.
  • Duende (n.) - The mysterious power of art to deeply move a person.
  • Dulcet (adj.) - Sweet, sugary.
  • Dulcify (v.) - To make more agreeable; mollify; also, to sweeten.
  • Ebullience (n.) - Bubbling enthusiasm.
  • Eccedentesiast (n.) - Someone who only pretends to smile.
  • Ectopic (adj.) - Occurring in an abnormal position or place; displaced.
  • Eesome (adj.) - Pleasing to the eye.
  • Effervescent (adj.) - Bubbly.
  • Effloresce (v.) - To burst into bloom; blossom.
  • Efflorescence (v.) - Flowering, blooming.
  • Eigengrau (n.) - “dark light” or “brain grey”; the color seen by the eye in perfect darkness.
  • Elision (n.) - Dropping a sound or syllable in a word.
  • Elixir (n.) - A good potion.
  • Eloquence (n.) - Beauty and persuasion in speech; the art of using language in an apt, fluent way.
  • Elysian (adj.) - Beautiful or creative; divinely inspired, peaceful and perfect.
  • Embrocation (n.) - Rubbing on a lotion.
  • Emollient (adj.) - A softener.
  • Énouement (n.) - The bittersweetness of having arrived in the future, seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell your past self.
  • Entelechy (n.) - The realization of potential.
  • Environs (n.) - The surrounding parts or districts, as of a city.
  • Ephemeral (adj.) - Short-lived.
  • Epiphany (n.) - A moment of sudden revelation.
  • Equanimity (n.) - Mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation.
  • Eremophobia (n.) - The deep free of stillness, solitude or deserted places.
  • Erstwhile (adj.) - At one time, for a time.
  • Esoteric (adj.) - Intended for or likely to be understood by only a selected few who have special knowledge or interest; private, secret, confidential, belonging to the select few.
  • Ethereal (adj.) - Gaseous, invisible but detectable; extremely delicate and light in a way that seems too perfect for this world.
  • Ethos (n.) - The fundamental character or spirit of a culture.
  • Eudaemonia (n.) - lit. “Human flourishing”; a contented state of being happy and healthy and prosperous.
  • Euneirophrenia (n.) - The peace of mind that comes from having pleasant dreams.
  • Euphonious (adj.) - pleasing; sweet in sound.
  • Eunoia (n.) - Beautiful thinking; a well mind.
  • Eutony (n.) - The pleasantness of a word’s sound.
  • Evanescent (adj.) - Vanishing quickly, lasting a very short time.
  • Evocative (adj.) - Suggestive; bringing strong images, memories or feelings to mind.
  • Exulansis (n.) - The tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it.
  • Fallacy (n.) - A deceptive, misleading or false notion, belief, etc.
  • Felicity (n.) - Pleasantness.
  • Fernweh (n.) - A crave for travel; being homesick for a place you’ve never been.
  • Fetching (adj.) - Pretty.
  • Filipendulous (adj.) - Hanging by a thread.
  • Feuillemort (n.) - The color of a dying or fading leaf.  
  • Flâneur (n.) - One who strolls around aimlessly but enjoyably, observing life and its surroundings.
  • Floccinaucinihilipilification (n.) - The act of deciding that something is useless.
  • Forbearance (n.) - Withholding response to provocation.
  • Foofaraw (n.) - A great fuss or disturbance about something very insignificant.
  • Frisson (n.) - A shiver of pleasure.
  • Fugacious (adj.) - Fleeting.
  • Furtive (adj.) - Shifty, sneaky.
  • Fusty (adj.) - Old-fashioned or out-of-date.
  • Gallivant (v.) - Go around from one place to another in the pursuit of pleasure or entertainment.
  • Gambol (v.) - To skip or leap about joyfully.
  • Garboil (n.) - Confusion.
  • Gerful (adj.) - Wild and wayward.
  • Gezellig (adj.) - cozy, nice, inviting, pleasant, comfortable; connoting time spent with loved ones or togetherness after a long separation.
  • Glamour (n.) - Beauty.
  • Gleed (n.) - A glowing coal.
  • Gloaming (n.) - Twilight; dusk.
  • Gossamer (n.) - The finest piece of thread, a spider’s silk.
  • Growlery (n) - A place of refuge or sanctuary for use while one is out of sorts or in an ill humor.
  • Gumesservi (n.) - Moonlight shining on water.
  • Habseligkeiten (n.) - Things that an adult might find worthless, but that a child regards as treasures.
  • Halcyon (adj./n.) - Happy, sunny, care-free; denoting a period of time in the past that was idyllically happy and peaceful.
  • Haimish (adj.) - Homey; cozy and unpretentious.
  • Hamartia (n.) - A tragic or fatal flaw.
  • Harbinger (n.) - Messenger with news of the future.
  • Hidebound (adj.) - Narrow and rigid in opinion; inflexible.
  • Higgledy-piggledy (adv.) - In a jumbled, confused or disorderly manner; helter-skelter.
  • Hikikomori (n.) - An adolescent or a young adult who has withdrawn from social life, often obsess with television, internet and video games, and rarely ever leave’s one’s room.
  • Hiraeth (n.) - A homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home which maybe never was; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places of your past.
  • Hornswoggle (v.) - To swindle, cheat, hoodwink or hoax.
  • Ikigai (n.) - A reason for being; the thing that gets you up in the morning.
  • Imbrication (n.) - Overlapping and forming a regular pattern.
  • Imbroglio (n.) - An altercation or complicated situation.
  • Imbue (v.) - To infuse, instill.
  • Immolate (v.) - To sacrifice; kill as a sacrificial victim, especially by burning; to destroy by fire.
  • Incipient (adj.) - Beginning, in an early stage.
  • Indwell (v.) - Be permanently present in (someone’s soul or mind)
  • Ineffable (adj.) - Unutterable, inexpressible.
  • Ingénue (n.) - A naïve young woman.
  • Inglenook (n.) - A cozy nook by the hearth.
  • Insouciance (n.) - Blithe nonchalance.
  • Inure (v.) - To become jaded.
  • Irenic (adj.) - Promoting peace.
  • Jayus (n.) - A joke so poorly told and so unfunny that one cannot help but laugh.
  • Jouska (n.) - A hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head.
  • Kakorrhaphiophobia (n.) - The fear of failure.
  • Kalopsia (n.) - The delusion of things being more beautiful than they really are.
  • Kintsukuroi (n)(v. phr.) - “To repair with gold”; the art of repairing pottery with fold or silver lacquer and understanding that the piece is more beautiful for having been broken.
  • Kittle (adj.) - Difficult to deal with; prone to erratic behavior.
  • Komorebi (n.) - Sunlight that filters through the leaves of trees.
  • L’esprit de l’escalier (n.) - lit. “the spirit of the staircase”; the feeling you get after leaving a conversation, when you think of all the things you should have said.
  • Labyrinthine (adj.) - Twisting and turning.
  • Lachesism (n.) - The desire to be struck by disaster; to survive a plane crash or to lose everything in a fire.
  • Lagniappe (n.) - A special kind of gift.
  • Languor (n.) - Listlessness, inactivity.
  • Lagom (adj.) - Not too little, not too much; just right.
  • Lalochezia (n.) - The emotional relief gained from using abusive or profane language.
  • Lassitude (n.) - Weariness, listlessness.
  • Lethologica (n.) - When you think of something but the word for it escapes you.
  • Liberosis (n.) - The desire to care less about things.
  • Lilt (v.) - To move musically or lively.
  • Limerence (n.) - The state of being infatuated with another person.
  • Lissome (adj.) - Slender and graceful.
  • Lisztomania (n.) - A need to listen to music all the time.
  • Lithe (adj.) - Slender and flexible.
  • Logastellus (n.) - A person whose love of words is greater than their knowledge for words.
  • Logophile (n.) - a person who loves words.
  • Lorn (adj.) - Lost, ruined or undone.
  • Louring (adj./v.) - darkened by clouds; looking angry or sullen.
  • Love (n/v.) - Deep affection.
  • Lucent (adj.) - Softly bright or radiant.
  • Malinger (v.) - To pretend illness, especially in order to shrink one’s duty, avoid work, etc.
  • Mamihlapinatapei (n.) - the wordless, yet meaningful look shared by two people who both desire to initiate something but are both reluctant to start.
  • Maudlin (adj.) - Foolishly sentimental.
  • Maw (n.) - The symbolic or theoretical center of a voracious hunger or appetite of any kind.
  • Meara (n.) - The Irish word for “sea”.
  • Mellifluous (adj.) - Sweet sounding.
  • Melomaniac (n.) - One who is passionate about music.
  • Meraki (v.) - To do something with soul, creativity or love; when you leave a piece of yourself in your work.
  • Metanoia (n)- The journey of changing ones mind, heart, self or way of life.
  • Micawber (n.) - An eternal optimist.
  • Minacious (adj.) - Menacing; threatening.
  • Mirifica (adj.) - Amazing, wondrous; working wonders.
  • Misology (n.) - Distrust or hatred of reason or reasoning.
  • Misonesim (n.) - Hatred or dislike of what is new or represents change.
  • Mizpan (n.) - The deep emotional bond between people, especially those separated by distance or death.
  • Moiety (n.) - One of two equal parts; a half; a small part.
  • Monachopsis (n.) - The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.
  • Mondegreen (n.) - A slip of the ear.
  • Moonstruck (adj.) - unable to think or act normally, especially because of being in love.
  • Morosis (n.) - The stupidest of stupidities.
  • Murmurous (adj.) - Murmuring.
  • Myötähäpeä (n.) - The feeling of shame you experience on the behalf of another person or a character when they do something stupid or embarrassing.
  • Natsukashii (adj.) - Of some small thing that brings you suddenly, joyously back to fond memories, not with a wistful longing for what’s past, but with an appreciation of the good times.
  • Nelipot (n.) - One who walks barefoot
  • Nemesis (n.) - An unconquerable archenemy.
  • Nemophilist (n.) - A haunter of the woods; one who love the forest and its beauty and solitude.
  • Neologize (v.) - To make or use new words or create new meanings for existing words.
  • Nepenthe (n.) - Something that can make you forget grief or suffering.
  • Nephelolater (n.) - Somebody who admires the passing clouds.
  • Niveous (adj.) - Resembling snow.
  • Nodus Tollens (n.) - The realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore.
  • Nostalgia (n.) - A bittersweet longing for things, persons or situations of the past.
  • Novaturient (adj.) - Desiring or seeking powerful change in one’s life, behavior or situation.
  • Numinous (adj.) - Describing an experience that makes you fearful yet fascinated, awed yet attracted — the powerful, personal feeling of being overwhelmed and inspired.
  • Nyctophile (n.) - A person who loves night, darkness.
  • Nyctophilia (n.) - Love of darkness or night, finding relaxation or comfort in the darkness.
  • Obfuscate (v.) - To confuse or bewilder; to render obscure, unclear or intelligible; to darken.
  • Oeillade (n.) - an amorous glance; ogle.
  • Offing (n.) - The sea between the horizon and the offshore.
  • Oneirataxia (n.) - The inability to distinguish between fantasy and reality.
  • Onism (n.) - The frustration of being stuck in just one body, that inhabits only one place at a time.
  • Onomatopoeia (n.) - A word that sounds like its meaning.
  • Opia (n.) - The ambiguous intensity of looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable.
  • Opulent (adj.) - Lush, luxuriant.
  • Oriflamme (n.) - A symbol or standard that inspires condense, devotion or courage.
  • Orphic (adj.) - Mysterious and entrancing; beyond ordinary understanding.
  • Otiose (adj.) - Being at leisure; idle; indolent.
  • Palimpsest (n.) - A manuscript written over earlier ones.
  • Panacea (n.) - A solution for all problems.
  • Pandiculation (n.) - An all-over stretching and yawning, as upon waking or going to bed.
  • Panoply (n.) - A complete set.
  • Parageusia (n.) - An abnormal or hallucinatory sense of taste.
  • Pastiche (n/v.)- An art work combining materials from various sources.
  • Peart (adj.) - Lively; cheerful.
  • Penultimate (adj.) - Next to the last.
  • Penumbra (n.) - A half-shadow.
  • Peripeteia (n.) - A sudden or unexpected reversal of circumstances; the point of no return.
  • Persnickety (adj.) - Placing too much emphasis on trivial or minor details; fussy.
  • Perspicuous (n.) - Clearly expressed or presented; lucid.
  • Petrichor (n.) - The pleasant smell of earth after rain.
  • Pettifogging (adj.) - Insignificant; petty.
  • Phatic (adj.) - Denoting speech used to express or create an atmosphere of shared feeling, goodwill or sociability rather than to convey information.
  • Philocalist (n.) - A lover of beauty; someone who finds and appreciates beauty in all things.
  • Philonoist (n.) - One who seeks knowledge.
  • Philophobia (n.) - The fear of falling in love.
  • Phosphenes (n.) - The stars and colors you see when you rub your eyes.
  • Photophile (n.) - A person who loves light.
  • Pisanthrophobia (n.) - Fear of trusting people due to past experiences with relationships gone bad.
  • Pistoriophile (n.) - A lover of baking, baked goods.
  • Pluvial (adj.) - Of or pertaining to rain; rainy.
  • Pluviophile (n.) - A lover of rain; someone who finds joy and peace of mind during rainy days.
  • Pontificate (n.) - To express one’s opinions in a way considered annoyingly pompous or dogmatic; (in the Roman Catholic Church) to officiate as a bishop.
  • Prate (v.) - To talk excessively and pointlessly.
  • Propinquity (n.) - An inclination.
  • Pulchritudinous (adj.) - Physically beautiful; comely.
  • Pyrrhic (adj.) - Successful with heavy losses.
  • Quaintrelle (n.) - a woman who emphasizes a life of passion, expressed through personal style, leisurely pastimes, charm, and cultivation of life’s pleasures.
  • Quaquaversal (adj.) - Moving or happening in every direction instantaneously.
  • Quatervois (n.) - A crossroads; a critical decision or turn point in one’s life.
  • Querencia (n.) - A place from which one’s strength is drawn, where one feels at home; the place where you are your most authentic self.
  • Quiescent (adj.) - a quiet, soft-spoken soul.
  • Quintessential (adj.)- Most essential.
  • Quixotic (adj.) - Extravagantly chivalrous or romantic.
  • Raconteur (n.) - one who excels in story-telling.
  • Raison d'être (n.) - a reason for existing.
  • Ravel (v) - To knit or unknit; confuse or complicate.
  • Razz (v.) - To deride; make fun of; tease.
  • Redamancy (n.) - act of loving in return.
  • Redolent (adj.) - Fragrant.
  • Retrophile (n.) - A lover of past eras and objects.
  • Retrouvaille (n.) - The joy of meeting or finding someone again after a long separation; rediscovery.
  • Rimjhim (n.) - A light, tapping sound produced by the series of raindrops rapidly falling and hitting onto a surface.
  • Riparian (adj.) - By the bank of a stream.
  • Ripple (n.) - A very small wave.
  • Rubatosis (n.) - The unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat.
  • Rubricate (v.) - To mark or color with red.
  • Rückkehrunruhe (n.) - The feeling of returning home after an immersive trip only to find it fading rapidly from your awareness.
  • Rusticate (v.) - To go to the country.
  • Sangfroid (n.) - Coolness of mind; calmness; composure.
  • Sapiosexual (n.) - A person who is sexually attracted to intelligence in others.
  • Sciamachy (n.) - An act or instance of fighting a shadow or an imaginary enemy.
  • Scintilla (n.) - A tiny, brilliant flash or spark; a small thing; a barely-visible trace.
  • Scintillate (v.) - To emit sparks; to twinkle, as the stars.
  • Scofflaw (n.) - A person who flouts the law, especially one who fails to pay fines owned.
  • Sehnsucht (n.) - “the inconsolable longing in the human heart for we know not what”; a yearning for a far, familiar, non-earthly land one can identify as one’s home.
  • Selcouth (adj.) - Unfamiliar, rare, strange, and yet marvelous
  • Selenophile (n.) - A person who loves the moon.
  • Sempiternal (adj.) - Everlasting; eternal.
  • Seraglio (n.) - Rich, luxurious oriental palace or harem.
  • Serendipity (n.) - Finding something nice while looking for something else; finding something good without looking for it.
  • Shtick (n.) - One’s special interest, talent, etc.
  • Sillage (n.) - The scent that lingers in air, the trail left in water, the impression made in space after something or someone has been and gone; the trace of someone’s perfume.
  • Sirimiri (n.) - A light rain, a fine drizzle.
  • Slake (v.) - To allay (thirst, desire, wrath, etc.) by satisfying.
  • Smultronställe (n.) - lit. “place of wild strawberries”; a special place discovered, treasured, returned to for solace and relaxation; a personal idyll free from stress or sadness.
  • Sobremesa (n.) - The time spent around the table after lunch or dinner, talking to the people you shared the meal with; time to digest and savor both food and friendship.
  • Soigné (adj.) - Possessing an aura of sophistication in dress, manner or design; presented or prepared with an elegance attained through care for the finer details.
  • Solivagant (adj.) - Wandering alone.
  • Sophrosyne (n.) - A healthy state of mind, characterized by self-control, moderation, and a deep awareness of one’s true self, and resulting in true happiness.
  • Sortable (adj.) - A person you can take anywhere without fear of being embarrassed.
  • Sough (n./v.) - The gentle, soothing murmur of wind or water; to moan, to rustle, to sigh.
  • Squib (n.) - A short and witty or sarcastic saying or writing.
  • Stigmatophile (n.) - a person who loves tattoos and/or piercings.
  • Summery (adj.) - Light, delicate or warm and sunny.
  • Sumptuous (adj.) - Lush, luxurious.
  • Superfluous (adj.) - More than enough; unnecessary.
  • Surreptitious (adj.) - Secretive, sneaky.
  • Susquehanna (n.) - A river in Pennsylvania.
  • Susurrant (adj.) - Softly murmuring; whispering.
  • Susurrous (adj.) - Whispering, hissing or rustling sound.
  • Syzygy (n.) - An alignment of three celestial objects, as the sun, the earth, and the moon.
  • Talisman (n.) - A good luck charm.
  • Tarantism (n.) - Overcoming melancholy by dancing; the uncontrollable urge to dance.
  • Thalassophile (n.) - A person who loves the sea and/or ocean.
  • Thinking (n.) - The talking of the soul with itself.
  • Tintinnabulation (n.) - Tinkling; the sound “that so musically wells from the bells, bells, bells, bells”; the sound that lingers after a bell has been struck.
  • Thorpe (n.) - A man who is desperately in love with a woman, but cannot admit his feelings or approach her.
  • Toothsome (adj.) - Pleasing to the taste; palatable.
  • Trenchant (adj.) - Vigorous or incisive in expression or style.
  • Transpontine (adj.) - Across or beyond a bridge.
  • Trouvaille (n.) - Something lovely discovered by chance; a windfall.
  • Tsundoku (n.) - The act of buying a book and leaving it unread, often piled together with other unread books.
  • Tumultuary (adj.) - Confused; disorderly; haphazard.
  • Ugsome (adj.) - Horrid; loathsome.
  • Umbreiferious (adj.) - Casting or making shade.
  • Untoward (adj.) - Unseemly, inappropriate.
  • Vellichor (n.) - The strange wistfulness of used bookshops.
  • Vestigial (adj.) - In trace amounts.
  • Viridescent (adj.) - Slightly green; greenish.
  • Vorfreude (n.) - The joyful, intense anticipation that comes from imagining future pleasures.
  • Wafture (n.) - Waving.
  • Wallflower (n.) - A person who because of shyness, unpopularity or lack of a partner, remains at the side at a part or dance; any person that remains on or has been forced to the sidelines of any activity.
  • Wherewithal (n.) - The means.
  • Williwaw (n.) - A violent squall that blows in near-polar latitudes.
  • Wisenheimer (n.) - A wisecrack or smart aleck.
  • Withershins (adv.) - Counterclockwise; in a direction contrary to the natural one.
  • Woebegone (adj.) - Sorrowful, downcast.
  • Ya’aburnee (n.) - lit “you bury me”; a declaration of one’s hope that they’ll die before another person because of how difficult it would be to live without them.
  • Yūgen (n.) - An awareness of the universe that triggers emotional responses too deep and mysterious for words.

I’m going to do my best to update this as best as I can for the rest of the year and use these words in daily conversations and my vernacular in general. They’ll be mainly used for when I reflect back on things (aka colloquies from the balcony) and for my daily journal entries for this page.

Enjoy!

P.S. Sorry if there are some typos or words that are out of order alphabetically; autocorrect tends to best me without me noticing.

I think I’ve kind of gone over this before, but not quite in regards to the Jet/Zuko parallel. 

Anyway,, one difference between Jet and Zuko is how they respond to the implication of human suffering, and I think the contrast between Jet and Zuko is really telling. 

On the one hand we have Jet, an Earth Kingdom commoner willing to destroy an entire village just because they’re Fire Nation. And, despite being told time and time again that they are just harmless civilians, Jet decides to go through with his plan.

On the other hand, we have Zuko–the Fire Nation prince who used to be unable to relate to the Earth Kingdom commons until he lived among them. We’ve seen him time and time again being able to emphasize with the Earth Kingdom commoners, as well as people from other nations–even if sometimes those lessons don’t stick at first. 

But I think it’s telling that Jet, an Earth Kingdom commoner and refugee is the one that’s unable to relate to a simple village trying to survive, or two Fire Nation refugees hiding in Ba Sing Se. 

Meanwhile, Zuko, even though it took him many seasons, and even though he is a Fire Nation prince, manages to connect with even the lowliest of peasants. 

Thus, while Zuko was able to accept change and a different point of view, Jet was not. 

Artist Problems

Having a ton of ideas for things you want to make but not being able to use any of them.

Because:

- You don’t have time to make them because of school, work, personal problems or other stuff.

- You forgot to write it down and now it’s lost in void of your thoughts (probably) forever.

- Either you have no motivation enough to make it. Or you realise it won’t ever come out the way you had in mind because your not at the skill level needed for the making that kind of piece.

- You have an artblock or procrastinate for any other possible reason whatsoever.

- You get demotivated because someone already made something similar looking and you’re under the assumption they’re way better anyway.

- People critisize your ideas to the point where you don’t even believe in them anymore.

- You get distracted by social media, tv, events or other stuff.

- Your ideas include way to much work to do all alone. But you don’t know not enough people who would possibly want to help you create even one idea without getting payed.

- Someone steals your ideas and keeps using them without permission.

- You started a project but the people who you worked with you on it throw you out of the group, mistreat you or leave the project themselves.

- You get sick, injured or don’t feel good for another reason. And are practicly unable to work.

- Your art teacher laughs at your ideas and way of making them.

- Your inspiration runs out and you get stuck.

@thinthle

Reblog if this is is relatable. And feel free to send me solutions to these problems if you have any.

anonymous asked:

I used to be considered a "gifted" writer, winning contests and getting praise all throughout my school days... but I've lost it, completely. I have little to no desire to write, what I do write is forced and ugly and plain... It's writer's block that has been going on for years! I don't have a lack of ideas, it's literally just a forgotten skill. Do you have any advice on long-term writer's block? Or maybe an explanation?

Darling, don’t waste time worrying if you’re not “gifted” anymore because, I promise you, you still are.

Originally posted by shawnhollenbach

I know that I have that same tendency, too.  When it’s been a while since I’ve written and I can’t get back into it, my automatic thought is, “I lost it.  I had it and I lost it.  I might as well join Corporate America because my soul is dead.”

But there are a lot of explanations for why your writing isn’t coming out how you want!  I’ll list a few of them below…


Explanations for Writer’s Block

  • You’re out of practice.  I can tell a difference in my “skill” after a week without writing – so if it’s been years?  You’re probably very rusty.  If this is the reason you’re struggling, my advice is to push through and write crap.  Even if it disappoints you or you sit there thinking, “This is terrible this is terrible this is the worst,” just do it.  Just force yourself through it.  Eventually, I promise from experience, something halfway decent will come out.  And it’ll get better from there.
  • You’re lacking confidence.  Another big ailment of mine – if I haven’t written something I liked in a while, I can count myself out before I start.  So even if I push through and write, I either self-edit the whole time or I delete it when I’m done.  That creates the effect of Returning to Square One, which negates my work in the first place.  If this is the case for you, my advice is to look closely and find something to like about your writing.  Even in The Worst writing I’ve ever done (and trust me, 2013 me was a nightmare to read), I’ve found a way to compliment myself.  So read your stuff like you’re critiquing a five-year old.  You’re not gonna sit there and tell a kid, “Dude this sh*t sucks lol delete your account.”
  • You’re clinging to old ideas and old methods.  If you “used to” write for X fandom or you “used to” write before class every day, that’s not a good enough reason to keep doing it.  If you “used to” write without an outline or you “used to” feel like a damn wizard when you wrote, that doesn’t mean you’re able to do that now.  And that doesn’t mean your talent has decreased.  Writers are different in every new season – adjust for yourself.  Stop expecting yourself to work under ancient systems and expectations.
  • You feel uncomfortable with your author’s voice.  This can be a simple matter of feeling inadequate/nervous – or you could even be annoyed with your own voice/writing style.  This can worsen the more you read other classic books with “better” voices and compare yourself.  If this is the case, my usual technique is to try to “rewire” my voice – try a different POV style or tense.  This can change how your voice sounds, which can make it easier for you and your narration to play nice together.
  • You can’t find the right character.  This sounds like a small issue, but it makes a huge difference.  If you’re unable to find/create a relatable or likable character, you’ll feel uncomfortable no matter what story you write.  It’s like if a principal ballerina were to try to perform her signature piece in a smelly school mascot costume.  You know what to do, but you’re just not in the right outfit!  So it feels clumsy.  It makes it hard to see how you look or what you’re doing wrong.  It makes you feel like a bad ballerina!  So try taking the time to find a good character.  Fanfiction can be a good transitioning activity for you – pick your favorite book/movie/TV character and write in their POV until you feel comfortable again.
  • You’re mentally or emotionally unhealthy.  This sounds judgy, but trust me – 90% of my writer’s block crops up in times of poor mental health or emotional stress.  Just like you can’t play baseball with broken ankles, you can’t write if your heart or your brain aren’t up to snuff.  So assess yourself for undue stress, depression, anxiety (my big one), or mental exhaustion.  Beyond that, make sure your heart isn’t clogged – so to say, make sure you’re emotionally accessible for writing.  If you’re deep in grieving, dissociating, or facing any kind of emotional blockage, your writing is definitely going to suffer.  It might be best to take time to work on these issues – otherwise you’re trying to row a boat with holes in it.

These are some of the main ones I’ve encountered in my time – and they’re definitely not the only explanations.  If none of these ideas help you to get started again, be sure to message me!  I’d love to discuss it with you personally :)  I know how awful that limbo can feel and I definitely want to help if I can.

Thanks again, and happy writing (hopefully)! <3


If you need advice on general writing or fanfiction, you should maybe ask me!