unable to relate

effects of parental abuse

+ the inability or struggle to say “no”, because disobedience meant punishment and you are used to being directed all the time

+ being unable to emotionally relate with your family (especially parents, if they are the abuser). concurring thoughts of “i won’t care if THEY die”, or “they won’t care if I die”

+ always afraid/hesitant to confide in someone else about feelings or thoughts, because you are used to being neglected/dismissed when you talk about your feelings, constantly being replied with “get over it”. the consequence of this is that the emotions/feelings pile up inside over time and, when you reach the limit, you suddenly become self-destructive or imminently violent/emotional

+ however, when given the chance to CONFIDE about your feelings with freedom confidently, everything spills out, even if it’s with a stranger or with someone you have not been in contact for very long.

+ you always assume that the answer to every question/statement you say is “no”, even if you definitely know the person is very likely to say “yes”. you prepare for denial and disappointment and feel a huge wave of relief when they say “yes”.

+ being secretive about enjoyment/liking things, or being secretive in what you’ve done for the day, even if it’s not deemed “bad” or “illegal”.

+ simultaneously confused whether you have affection towards your parent(s) or you hate them whole-heartedly, despite knowing that they abuse you. the confusion stems from “well, they’re my parent, so i think they’re doing this because they love me”, though the thought is, of course, false

+ being scared that people will only take advantage of you, as your parents consequently thought of you as an object to benefit from, and not someone to love.

+ being easily attached to others, because you had no parental figure. this can lead you to being easily manipulated and you are very easily controlled. children under parental abuse are also more likely to have “chosen families”.

+ having an “escape plan” or “last resort” if you still live with your parents, just in case they do something worse to you, thinking up of elaborate plans to get out, how you’ll survive, where you’ll stay, etc.

+ being surprised learning that other parents are unlike your parents, and having to have someone/a source to tell you that what your parents are doing is abusive, and as a child you thought it was normal to be unhappy at home.

+ liking school or days out because that meant being away from your parents

+ developing emotional/personality disorders and distorted thinking

The Signs as Unexplained Feelings
  • Aries: Rubatosis- The unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat.
  • Taurus: Altschmerz- The weariness from the same old issue you've always had.
  • Gemini: Adronitis- The frustration with how long it takes to get to know someone.
  • Cancer: Kuebiko- The state of exhaustion inspired by senseless acts of violence.
  • Leo: Kenopsia- An eerie, forlorn atmosphere of a place that is usually bustling with people but now is abandoned and quiet.
  • Virgo: Ellipism- The sadness from never knowing your destiny.
  • Libra: Occhiolism- The awareness of the smallness of your perspective.
  • Scorpio: Exluanis- The tendency to give up talking about an experience because others are unable to relate to it.
  • Sagittarius: Onism- The frustration of being stuck in one body that inhabits only one place at a time.
  • Capricorn: Lacheism- The desire to be struck by disaster.
  • Aquarius: Nodus Tollens- The realization that the plot of your life doesn't make sense to you anymore.
  • Pisces: Mauerbauertraurigkeit- The inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends and family.
The signs as emotions we feel but can't explain

Aries: Kuebiko- A state of exhaustion inspired by acts of senseless violence.

Taurus: Mauerbauertraurigkeit- The inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like.

Gemini: Onism- The frustration of being struck in just one body, that inhabits only one place at a time.

Cancer: Sonder- The realization that each passer-by has a life as vivid &’ complex as your own.

Leo: Hanker Sore- Finding a person so attractive it actually kinda pisses you off.

Virgo: Jouska- A hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head.

Libra: Adronitis- Frustration with how long it takes to get to know someone.

Scorpio: Exulansis- The tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it.

Sagittarius: Rückkehrunruhe- The feeling of returning home after an immersive trip only to find it fading rapidly from your awareness.

Capricorn: Opia- The ambiguous intensity of looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive &’ vulnerable.

Aquarius: Monachopsis- The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.

Pisces: Liberosis- The desire to care less about things.

Homestuck Meta Theory

Alright, so I know there’s a lot of people disappointed with the ending, again, I sound like a broken record by this point. And don’t get me wrong- While I love the ending, I would still love to see more of the characters and the story! I just feel it’s a good end as it is. I’ve made a lot of theories about what the End means and everything about Act 7, but all of the things I said, about the Jujus, about becoming freed from Paradox Space, it made me think about the rest of the story, and I believe it has made my entire idea of what Homestuck is change.

So the big question here is, what IS Homestuck? Most people, including me, when talking to someone who knows nothing about it, will speak about the story, the 4 Kids playing SBURB, and the subsequent destruction of Earth. And then mention its huge amount of references towards programming languages, popular culture, storytelling in itself, and it’s self-referential nature. But this Ending has got me thinking that maybe the reason why so many people have been disappointed in the End is because they got Hussie’s intentions wrong.

We tend to reference how the humor and the nature of Homestuck’s narrative is a little extra onto the story, and while it is true the story itself and the characters have drawn a big part of the Fandom, I thought… What if the important part of the Narrative isn’t the Story, but the Meta elements.

As soon as I made connection, everything about the ending began to fall into place. I have commented before that I feel Act 7 is like being shown the Good Ending of a video game without seeing its Neutral Route. 

The Kids have Earth, and Juju Vriska uses manages to flip the ending so that instead of being trapped by Paradox Space’s rules…

They manage to ‘End’ the game properly and get their Happy Ever After.

All while Caliborn is shown getting his power of Immortality, and while we’re left ambiguous about what happens to Vriska and Lord English and everyone in the Dream Bubbles…

Another thing people have complained about is the Character Arcs.

They say how ‘different’ the timeline is. What was the point of Rose’s alcoholism if then Vriska just swats the drink away and it never had any relevance anymore? Terezi’s relationship with Gamzee never happened. Dave and Karkat got together? The Game Over Timeline is bad, everyone agrees that people dying is never good, but they also claim that suddenly having all that Character Development changed made them unable to relate to some characters anymore.

And of course there’s always the mention of how Vriska, even though she’s an abusive 8itch, ended up being somewhat of a heroine, or at the very least not seemingly getting too punished…

That’s where the Narrative itself told us there was something off.

DAVE: rose we dont have fuckin “arcs” we are just human beings

Many have mentioned it, about how not having a closure to certain character arcs referenced this portion, the notion that the characters didn’t have an arc. The same way she then references Jade breaking Endgame ships and such. Rose’s power is Light, and her information source comes from the same place as SBURB and Skaia. It’s a game. Of course she’d have the notion that all of them have to fit certain predisposed stereotypes or their stories have to follow a certain pattern- Rose is looking at their lives since SBURB started as it has been. A Story.

But Dave is having none of it. Dave is beyond the thought that all they do has to follow a set pattern, and claims they don’t have character arcs. This might sound like a clever device by Hussie so he didn’t have to explore more of each of these character’s lives and he could close the comic leaving some loose ends but, there’s more.

Hussie? As an entity? Exists within the story. This would be all fun and dandy if it were a couple of stupid references and memes. And that’s what many people think! Most of his appearances in canon have been a joke, really. But…

Hussie joked about his influence on the comic, when his bot-self was about to mess up with the Kids in the Yellow Yard, but eventually didn’t do it. And yet? His fight with Vriska. His interactions with Caliborn. Everything pictured above? Hussie is a physical entity that follows the same rules as everyone else in Paradox Space and can influence the story. But he’s not a self-insert. He IS the Author. He is the one who wrote every of these characters and continued the story. He’s not another character, he’s himself, in the Homestuck Universe.

And then it began to dawn on me, that perhaps the Meta aspect of Homestuck was a bit more than Fourth-Wall Breaking fun and references to real life stuff. Of course, this train of thought led me to another main plot device that has never exactly been explained to its full extent. Jujus.

There’s the Sucker…

The Crowbar…

The House Juju…

A lollipop that could change character’s personalities, making them immediately make up for aaaall of their mistakes without a care in the world, start alchemizing new weapons, and end up exactly where they needed to be.

A crowbar that can break other of these mysterious devices, and more importantly, has been shown to be able to interact with the Website itself, which seems to be its own physical entity as well!

A house that gave John the ability to change the story, and that ended up being used against the Big Bad of the entire comic.

A puppet that trapped the Souls of various characters and became the gateway for the Big Bad of the comic to become who he is.

A mysterious pair of rings that oh so conveniently appear and disappear on characters, and leave you wondering what they really do, but clearly shown to at least be able to revive someone who, by no other means in the story, would have been able to get back to the world of the living.

Jujus are mysterious, when you look at them from the perspective of the characters. They have no beginning, no end, they just appear at some point and do a loop through time, ending up exactly where they appeared first. They are powerful artifacts able to change reality itself, with no explained origin… But we are no characters. We have seen what these things do on the comic through its entire lengths.

Jujus are plot devices meant to alter the Meta of the comic. They are not things that make sense in a true physical reality. They are artifacts that alter the rules of the plot. Because that’s what the plot is. A story. Because Homestuck is not real, and it acknowledges this.

Or at least… It was supposed to acknowledge this. Many have also claimed that the last updates were so disappointing, compared to Cascade, as Cascade managed to solve so many plot points, but this last one felt empty of everything. Plot. Character Development. That’s where Jujus and Hussie come in.

Hussie dies, in his own comic, a comic that acknowledges him as the actual AUTHOR of the events taking place. And later, we see…

Caliborn, the young version of Lord English, acknowledging Hussie’s death, as he takes the rest of Act 6 and makes it his. Through the use of the Command Prompt, through his own drawings, he begins to write his own story.

[S] Cascade had so many plot points resolved, and these last updates didn’t. Because that is the point. Ever since Act 5 ended and Act 6 started, Hussie has begun to lose control of the story. He was killed by Lord English, the big bad, who also took control of the narrative. Vriska acknowledges a narrator speaking, and forces the narrative to shift back to her opening the Juju chest out of frustration. The command prompts, John’s retcons- At this point, Hussie is no longer in control of his characters.

The Game Over timeline was bad, but it felt like it had more Character Development. That is because it was a not-retconned Timeline. The characters had struggles, the plot moved on forward, some people was possessed, it was all prime material for a conflict and a resolution afterwards! But Aranea’s intervention made it a Doomed Timeline. A Bad End. We all know how Doomed Timelines work, so everything that happens there would have been totally irrelevant. But John didn’t want to accept that. Roxy was still alive, and sad. And Terezi wanted him to fix things up. So instead of acknowledging he was in a Doomed Timeline, like Roxy did? Roxy, who saw her mother-daughter die in her arms, and claimed there might be nothing left for them. And meanwhile, John just managed to get his powers ready, zapped back in time and solved everything.

New problems arose in the new Timeline, sure, but not as many. And a lot of the character arcs were suddenly shoved back. Rose no longer struggles with alcoholism, Karkat doesn’t chase after Terezi, and becomes Matesprits with Dave after mellowing down. Gamzee, one of the biggest dangers, is shoved back by Vriska until he’s barely relevant anymore.

And all of this might just be me trying to find an explanation to the sudden loose ends not being tied. But I think, all of this, was meant to express more than Hussie rolling the story back or changing the story to fit other things. No.

We go back to Dave’s words. We’re real people, we don’t have arcs. We are real people. In a comic, where the author is a character, and that always acknowledges it’s a comic? Dave saying they’re real people is big. It was taken as a joke, because they are characters, come on! Right? … Right?

Well of course they are. But that’s the thing. Up until Act 6, all of the various characters were nothing more than that. And even during the Game Over Timeline, they were nothing more than that. But Hussie’s death, the ghosts, no longer relevant, trying to fight back against Lord English? Caliborn’s acknowledgement of a story and trying to take control of it? And finally, John’s powers.

The House Juju gave John something more important than being able to change the Timeline.

The ability to make Selfcest canon.

Wait no- That wasn’t it.

The ability to alter the plot to his own whims.

John’s zapping doesn’t follow the rules of Paradox Space. It allows him to change the timeline as he wishes and it still be the Alpha. Not only that, but he can also warp out of the story itself, sending people and things to the background of the website.

It’s when Vriska starts to try and find this Juju that everything about the narrative begins to shift gears. John now can change the plot. Which means he is not adhering to the rules that bound them all anymore. He can go back, bring people who were dead back to life, save his friends, and aid them get a better ending.

And in this new timeline he’s changed? Everyone seems a bit different. They have gone through different things, and are as confused as anyone else about what is going on. This is the moment where these characters stop being characters.

This isn’t a story about Four Kids playing a Game, getting involved in Shenanigans and trying to live a happy ever after as villains try to plot on destroying them and reality. Homestuck is the tale of the characters from a webcomic, becoming self-aware, and escaping the grasp of the author and the narrative.

I don’t know if this is what Hussie intended, and if it is, at what point he planned to start leading the story this way. I might just be crazy and be reading too much into this? But as I see it? It closes every single loophole in this story.

Doomed Timelines are meant to be nothing. They are meant to fade, and not be relevant anymore. But the ghosts are having none of this. They WANT to be relevant in this story again. They create an army, and head off to defeat the biggest threat in the entire comic.

Caliborn knows reality itself isn’t as it seems, and tries to make his own story within it. He strives to become almighty, and then begins to destroy and rend reality itself so he can make way for his own rule.

Vriska knows she’s in a story, having interacted with the very Author and the command prompt! But she is not trying to change the story- All the opposite. Vriska follows the rules of the story, closes loopholes from what she has seen, but tries to be the one who causes everything. She wants to be in the spotlight of this tale. She creates Bec Noir just because she had seen it in her screen. And knowing this is a story, she goes off of her way to find methods to defeat each of these villains, at any cost. Because in a story, once she defeats these big, powerful foes, she’ll be a heroine, and everyone will regard her so highly, she’ll be over everyone else. Just like she wants.

John? I don’t think he knows he’s in a story. But he has the power to alter it. And after he begins to mess with the timeline, the rules of Paradox Space begin to shatter around him and his friends. Time loops, Rules, Plot, why would they care about how a story goes, if it’s not a story, it’s their lives. They just want to be happy and get away from this cycle of destruction and death.

I’d even go as far as to say God Tier Calliope knows this. If her Land and her Earth were anything like Caliborn’s, she might also been in contact with the command prompt. Perhaps the fact her entire mission was a self-sacrifice to collapse the Green Sun represented how she, too, saw Paradox Space as what it was- A construct that kept these characters trapped as that. Characters. And the only way to escape its grasp was the erase its very existence, using Lord English’s destruction to tear a hole through the comic, and destroy it.

In this way, everything that happens towards the ending makes perfect sense. There are hundreds, thousands, who knows how many timelines, in which every plot hole will be closed. But we’re not following these. It would be easy to cause, say, the Condesce to wake up. Because of her immortality curse given by Lord English. Or the Draconian Dignitary get to the Frog Lily Pad. Something happens, interrupts the kids from entering to the new Session, and bam! Suddenly more plot! Their entrance to the Universe is blocked. Terezi worries about Vriska, so they begin to plot a way to help her defeat Lord English. The black hole in the Session that likely leads to Caliborn’s land becomes relevant, and they all have a trip to beat up Caliborn. Something happens to Calliope, her ring has ended up in Caliborn’s hands as well, he traps the kids, the Alphas beat him up, all loops are closed, we have a bittersweet, predictable ending. And this has happened. In many timelines before. Over, and over. Perhaps the one we’re following isn’t even the Alpha, for that very reason.

But it doesn’t matter. I talked about how the Jujus were a way to alter the plot, and let’s go back to this, and look at my theory about the Kids Souls being Trapped for all eternity in this Juju. The moment Caliborn uses this Juju, he kickstarts the entirety of the rules of Paradox Space. These kids we follow through the story, are trapped in a plot, with rules dictated by narrative that they HAVE to adhere too.

Then the ghosts decide that this is bullshit, and that they, even after death, want to still be relevant. Instigated by Vriska and Meenah, and aided by Aranea’s mind control, they manage to find a way they can alter the plot once again, a Juju. John touches this Juju, and suddenly he gains the power to alter this plot as well, and begins his and his friend’s journey to escape the clutches of Paradox Space and the comic itself.

John was trapped in the house all along. So of course, shoving his arm through it? He managed to grasp at the other side. He got a taste of what it was to be free. And he gained the power of changing the plot as a result.

Then, Vriska becomes alive again. She’s relevant, and bashes down on her ghost self. Ghost self that had at one point tried to make herself relevant, even though since she’s dead she shouldn’t be. This way, Vriska proves that, while she acknowledges the story as a story, and wants to be always present and in the middle, she never sees it as something she has to escape. She has no character development, because now, in this timeline that John has changed, she’s free to do whatever she wants, she’s her own person without a character arc, but doesn’t find the need to become said person. She doesn’t want to change, she wants to keep following the plot, and take down the big bad.

So Vriska takes the house Juju from her alternate self, goes against Lord English, beats up the Author of the comic itself as a last Fuck You, and then uses the Juju towards him. And this is when Alive Vriska makes her big mistake. By following this plot, this story, the Juju house crashes behind her…

She’s on Lord English’s side of the house. Because both of them know the comic is just that, a story. He knows about the narrative, and the author. So he kills the author, and becomes the big evil that must be defeated. Meanwhile, Vriska knows about the narrative, and the author, so she beats up the author and tries to become the heroine.

Caliborn and Vriska could very well strive to break free of Paradox Space in other ways, but instead they do what they do best- Be themselves, and fuck shit up in the process. And it’s this mentality that in the end, as the House Juju appears, tells us that both of them have been doomed. Doomed to be trapped in this Collapsing Paradox Space there’s no escape from.

Except there is an escape.

Because the door opens. It opens for the Kids and Trolls on the lily pad. And it opens for the Ghost Army and everyone else in the Bubbles. These are people that have been living aside from the story for a long time. The ones that are alive in the Session have had John change everything and the events happening after make them question Paradox Space itself. And the dead ones or the ones just stuck in the Furthest Ring? They fear being forgotten. They fear being erased by the collapsing Paradox Space, and had faced Lord English to try and become relevant once more.

Of course Condy’s curse didn’t wake her up. Of course DD didn’t appear. The moment the Juju appears, the story is done. There is no more plot. Because it’s not a story. The ones wanting to follow the plot are now seeing it crumble, seeing everything end. And the ones that wanted to become relevant against Paradox Space- Why would they need to even follow the rules? They are trying to escape them.

The Plot Holes are part of the plot in itself. John and everyone else didn’t need to fill it up. Because they are not part of the story anymore. We didn’t see their character arcs close. Because they are not characters anymore. They are not characters anymore. They don’t need to show us they have grown- Or maybe they haven’t even grown. They are always growing, learning. But now, they have escaped this evil Universe that trapped them and forced into cruel and crueler situations. They have escaped to a peaceful realm. They don’t need to keep following the story. They are happy and free to live their lives however they want.

They are finally happy.

why do Mercy fans act so goddamn persecuted

Mercy ships make up literally ¾ of f/f works on AO3, and every OW femslash tag on tumblr is flooded with Mercy content

but as soon as woc criticize the disproportionate amount of attention Mercy gets, Mercy fans dogpile on them with accusations of misogyny, homophobia, even racism (which is a fucking joke, given the fact that Mercy is a blonde haired, blue eyed, angel themed white hero. like give me a break)

Mercy is the most popular female hero in this game. and it has everything to do with white fans being completely unable to relate to woc – both fictional and real.

why else would the vast majority of fandom content fixate on one single white hero in this ensemble cast of characters if not because the other characters are considered unrelatable.

Mercy has become every white fan’s self insert, and they use her to project their racist fantasies onto the woc she’s shipped with. hence the disgusting amount of servant, slave, and colonialist AUs the Pharmercy fandom is rife with.

Mercy doesn’t need protecting. and the fact that so many white Mercy fans feel the need to protect her from the big mean woc is pretty damn telling.

The signs as inexplicable feelings

Aries: Onism (the frustration of being stuck in just one body that inhabits only one place at a time)

Taurus: Vemödalen (the frustration of photographing something amazing when thousands of identical photos already exist) 

Gemini: Rubatosis (the unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat) 

Cancer: Chrysalism (the amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm) 

Leo: Liberosis (the desire to care less about things.) 

Virgo: Altschmerz (weariness with the same old issues that you’ve always had – the same boring flaws and anxieties that you’ve been gnawing on for years.) 

Libra: Mauerbauertraurigkeit (the inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like.) 

Scorpio: Opia (the ambiguous intensity of looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable) 

Sagittarius: Nodus Tollens (the realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore) 

Capricorn: Jouska (a hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head.) 

Aquarius: Exulansis (the tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it.) 

Pisces: Sonder (the realization that each passerby has a life as vivid and complex as your own.) 

I think I’ve kind of gone over this before, but not quite in regards to the Jet/Zuko parallel. 

Anyway,, one difference between Jet and Zuko is how they respond to the implication of human suffering, and I think the contrast between Jet and Zuko is really telling. 

On the one hand we have Jet, an Earth Kingdom commoner willing to destroy an entire village just because they’re Fire Nation. And, despite being told time and time again that they are just harmless civilians, Jet decides to go through with his plan.

On the other hand, we have Zuko–the Fire Nation prince who used to be unable to relate to the Earth Kingdom commons until he lived among them. We’ve seen him time and time again being able to emphasize with the Earth Kingdom commoners, as well as people from other nations–even if sometimes those lessons don’t stick at first. 

But I think it’s telling that Jet, an Earth Kingdom commoner and refugee is the one that’s unable to relate to a simple village trying to survive, or two Fire Nation refugees hiding in Ba Sing Se. 

Meanwhile, Zuko, even though it took him many seasons, and even though he is a Fire Nation prince, manages to connect with even the lowliest of peasants. 

Thus, while Zuko was able to accept change and a different point of view, Jet was not. 

The Signs as Emotions People Feel But Can’t Explain
  • Aries: "Kuebiko - A state of exhaustion inspired by acts of senseless violence." Aries that are provoked by the smallest things if it’s about something they believe in, that will do anything and everything to fight for what’s right, that will exhaust their physical and mental energy for anything and everything they deem precious to them.
  • Taurus: "Chrysalism - The amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm." Taurians that can fall asleep to the sound of light rain and yet be most productive to dark clouds and thunder and heavy rainfall, that feel most relaxed seeing raindrops against windowpanes and the ground.
  • Gemini: "Sonder - The realization that each passerby has a life as vivid and complex as your own." Geminis that can go throughout their day without thinking twice about the person next to them, but can meet eyes with a stranger and imagine, without even trying, their entire lives, from the glaringly obvious to the most miniscule details.
  • Cancer: "Liberosis - The desire to care less about things." Cancers that wear their hearts and their innermost emotions on their sleeves, that care about everyone they meet even when they don’t want to; the sheer amount of emotion they have may overwhelm them and even when they say they don’t care, some part of them still does.
  • Leo: "Anecdoche - A conversation in which everyone is talking, but nobody is listening" Leos that speak because they have so much on their mind, that want to get everything out and want people to listen, that hear other people but are already itching to speak, and they’re already thinking of what to say next even as they speak.
  • Virgo: "Énouement -The bittersweetness of having arrived in the future, seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell your past self" Virgos that rush through life to get to the next stage, to get better, that eventually reach their goal and realize that this isn’t even what they wanted in the first place, and now all they want is to slow down, to start over and think less, enjoy more, live with no regrets.
  • Libra: "Occhiolism - The awareness of the smallness of your perspective." Libras that can be in the center of a crowd, can be in the middle of a conversation and suddenly shut down mentally because they’ve just realized something huge, that will listen to someone else speak even while their minds are racing, already on the way to stumbling across some profound discovery.
  • Scorpio: "Adronitis - Frustration with how long it takes to get to know someone." Scorpios that love knowing people because they want to be needed, that want all of a person for themselves even if they don’t recognize it yet, that hate seeing someone being more friendly with someone else because that person is theirs, even if they don’t know it yet.
  • Sagittarius: "Onism - The frustration of being stuck in just one body, that inhabits only one place at a time." Sagittarians that want to see and feel and do and experience everything all at once, that freeze when they realize they can’t; the rhythm of life and the earth is in their blood and wanderlust is almost overpowering at times and they hate not being able to give into it.
  • Capricorn: "Ellipsism - A sadness that you’ll never be able to know how history will turn out." Capricorns that want to know as much as they can, that can place logic and reason and realism over emotion, that rationalize their emotions without thinking, and end up strangely saddened when they realize there is no answer.
  • Aquarius: "Vemödalen - The frustration of photographic something amazing when thousands of identical photos already exist." Aquarians that work hard because they want to be better than they already are, than what someone else can do, that can spend hours and days perfecting something they enjoy just to get that much better.
  • Pisces: "Exulansis - The tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it." Pisceans that can have whole worlds inside their heads, that can never explain things correctly because the right word just isn’t there, that know the words and can’t put them together because nothing sounds just right, that have been to places and seen things and done things and can’t share their experiences because words just aren’t enough.
Zodiac Signs as... Emotions People Feel but Can’t Explain.
  • Aries: Lachesism– The desire to be struck by disaster – to survive a plane crash, or to lose everything in a fire.
  • Taurus: Chrysalism– The amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm.
  • Gemini: Onism– The frustration of being stuck in just one body, that inhabits only one place at a time.
  • Cancer: Liberosis– The desire to care less about things.
  • Leo: Anecdoche– A conversation in which everyone is talking, but nobody is listening.
  • Virgo: Rubatosis– The unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat.
  • Libra: Nodus Tollens– The realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore.
  • Scorpio: Opia– The ambiguous intensity of looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable.
  • Sagittarius: Rückkehrunruhe– The feeling of returning home after an immersive trip only to find it fading rapidly from your awareness.
  • Capricorn: Exulansis– The tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it.
  • Aquarius: Monachopsis– The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.
  • Pisces: Énouement– The bittersweetness of having arrived in the future, seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell your past self.

exulansis

n. the tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it—whether through envy or pity or simple foreignness—which allows it to drift away from the rest of your life story, until the memory itself feels out of place, almost mythical, wandering restlessly in the fog, no longer even looking for a place to land.

anonymous asked:

I used to be considered a "gifted" writer, winning contests and getting praise all throughout my school days... but I've lost it, completely. I have little to no desire to write, what I do write is forced and ugly and plain... It's writer's block that has been going on for years! I don't have a lack of ideas, it's literally just a forgotten skill. Do you have any advice on long-term writer's block? Or maybe an explanation?

Darling, don’t waste time worrying if you’re not “gifted” anymore because, I promise you, you still are.

Originally posted by shawnhollenbach

I know that I have that same tendency, too.  When it’s been a while since I’ve written and I can’t get back into it, my automatic thought is, “I lost it.  I had it and I lost it.  I might as well join Corporate America because my soul is dead.”

But there are a lot of explanations for why your writing isn’t coming out how you want!  I’ll list a few of them below…


Explanations for Writer’s Block

  • You’re out of practice.  I can tell a difference in my “skill” after a week without writing – so if it’s been years?  You’re probably very rusty.  If this is the reason you’re struggling, my advice is to push through and write crap.  Even if it disappoints you or you sit there thinking, “This is terrible this is terrible this is the worst,” just do it.  Just force yourself through it.  Eventually, I promise from experience, something halfway decent will come out.  And it’ll get better from there.
  • You’re lacking confidence.  Another big ailment of mine – if I haven’t written something I liked in a while, I can count myself out before I start.  So even if I push through and write, I either self-edit the whole time or I delete it when I’m done.  That creates the effect of Returning to Square One, which negates my work in the first place.  If this is the case for you, my advice is to look closely and find something to like about your writing.  Even in The Worst writing I’ve ever done (and trust me, 2013 me was a nightmare to read), I’ve found a way to compliment myself.  So read your stuff like you’re critiquing a five-year old.  You’re not gonna sit there and tell a kid, “Dude this sh*t sucks lol delete your account.”
  • You’re clinging to old ideas and old methods.  If you “used to” write for X fandom or you “used to” write before class every day, that’s not a good enough reason to keep doing it.  If you “used to” write without an outline or you “used to” feel like a damn wizard when you wrote, that doesn’t mean you’re able to do that now.  And that doesn’t mean your talent has decreased.  Writers are different in every new season – adjust for yourself.  Stop expecting yourself to work under ancient systems and expectations.
  • You feel uncomfortable with your author’s voice.  This can be a simple matter of feeling inadequate/nervous – or you could even be annoyed with your own voice/writing style.  This can worsen the more you read other classic books with “better” voices and compare yourself.  If this is the case, my usual technique is to try to “rewire” my voice – try a different POV style or tense.  This can change how your voice sounds, which can make it easier for you and your narration to play nice together.
  • You can’t find the right character.  This sounds like a small issue, but it makes a huge difference.  If you’re unable to find/create a relatable or likable character, you’ll feel uncomfortable no matter what story you write.  It’s like if a principal ballerina were to try to perform her signature piece in a smelly school mascot costume.  You know what to do, but you’re just not in the right outfit!  So it feels clumsy.  It makes it hard to see how you look or what you’re doing wrong.  It makes you feel like a bad ballerina!  So try taking the time to find a good character.  Fanfiction can be a good transitioning activity for you – pick your favorite book/movie/TV character and write in their POV until you feel comfortable again.
  • You’re mentally or emotionally unhealthy.  This sounds judgy, but trust me – 90% of my writer’s block crops up in times of poor mental health or emotional stress.  Just like you can’t play baseball with broken ankles, you can’t write if your heart or your brain aren’t up to snuff.  So assess yourself for undue stress, depression, anxiety (my big one), or mental exhaustion.  Beyond that, make sure your heart isn’t clogged – so to say, make sure you’re emotionally accessible for writing.  If you’re deep in grieving, dissociating, or facing any kind of emotional blockage, your writing is definitely going to suffer.  It might be best to take time to work on these issues – otherwise you’re trying to row a boat with holes in it.

These are some of the main ones I’ve encountered in my time – and they’re definitely not the only explanations.  If none of these ideas help you to get started again, be sure to message me!  I’d love to discuss it with you personally :)  I know how awful that limbo can feel and I definitely want to help if I can.

Thanks again, and happy writing (hopefully)! <3


If you need advice on general writing or fanfiction, you should maybe ask me!

The Types’ Obscure Sorrows

ESTJ - Onism: The frustration of being stuck in just one body, that inhabits only one place at a time.

ISTJ - Énouement: The bittersweetness of having arrived in the future, seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell your past self.

ENFP - Anecdoche: A conversation in which everyone is talking, but nobody is listening

INFP - Vellichor: The strange wistfulness of used bookshops.

ESFJ - Sonder: The realization that each passerby has a life as vivid and complex as your own.

ISFJ - Opia: The ambiguous intensity of Looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable.

ENTP - Adronitis: Frustration with how long it takes to get to know someone.

INTP - Monachopsis: The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.

ENFJ - Jouska: A hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head.

INFJ - Exulansis: The tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it.

ESTP - Lachesism: The desire to be struck by disaster – to survive a plane crash, or to lose everything in a fire.

ISTP - Occhiolism: The awareness of the smallness of your perspective.

ENTJ - Mauerbauertraurigkeit: The inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like.

INTJ - Ellipsism: A sadness that you’ll never be able to know how history will turn out.

ESFP - Vemödalen: The frustration of photographing something amazing when thousands of identical photos already exist.

ISFP - Chrysalism: The amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm.

BTS Reacts - Being An Underappreciated Idol

Kim Taehyung: You don’t get much credit from fans and the press, but Kim Taehyung alone can still make you feel like you’re the star of the show. He feels there’s not much he can do in terms of consoling you, after all, it’s something that can only be resolved in time and with dedication on your part, and his words can only do so much - but this doesn’t stop him from trying his hardest to make you feel important. It’s the little things he does that heartens you - he sings your lines and dances your part in the choreography, promoting you every step of the way at every opportunity. The ways he shows you that you’re appreciated always gets through to you, and you find yourself realizing your self worth because of him. It’s the night of a big awards show - you’re performing on cue, and you scan your eyes across the audience, only to find Taehyung just doing what he does best to support you:

Jeon Jungkook: Kook is often in the limelight, so while he may be unable to relate to your predicament at times; what he can do is help elevate your stage presence to a level that will demand the eyes of the audience before you. He isn’t the kind to sit back and do nothing about a problem. He can shower you with sympathy, but this is how he would really like to help you, if you’ll let him. He’s aware that you have the skills to take on a bigger role in a group, so when you confide in him about being underappreciated, he’ll make it a point to be alongside you, giving you the guidance you need until you are happy with the work that you do. All in all, Jungkook has the potential to be just what you need to overcome this problem as an idol, due to his ardent nature and constant strive for excellence. You’re wrapping up a vocal session with him when he playfully bumps into your shoulder.

“You’re getting better, you know? Once you get even more confident, I bet that you’ll be getting your own solo stage soon enough.”

Park Jimin: He and Yoongi have a standing lunch date with you, so when you show up looking less than ecstatic, Jimin swoops in, armed with sincerity and empathy, carefully crafting ways to indirectly find out what’s wrong. Jimin is a very rational member of the group, and is willing to listen to all sorts of problems and provide grounded solutions that make a lot of sense. When you finally cave and tell them that you’ve been feeling unacknowledged lately, a resounding ‘ah’ escapes his lips. The two boys exchange knowing glances - they’ve been through this song and dance before, and they know exactly how you feel. He promises you that this feeling will pass, and he tells you that no matter what, keep working hard and you’ll get the attention you truly deserve in due time. Jimin stops eating, insisting that you look at him as he tells you this:

“______________, you wouldn’t be where you are today if you weren’t cut out for it. We all believe in you and admire you, and the fans will eventually come to realize how capable you are too.”

Kim Seokjin: Seeing how put off you are by the whole ordeal of being underappreciated gets him slightly riled up. He knows what it’s like and doesn’t like that you’re going through that experience too, even though you’re more than able to perform just as brilliantly as anyone else in the group. The first thing he’ll try to do is cheer you up and distract you from the initial disappointment you feel as an idol. He’d act silly just to put a smile on your face, even if it takes your mind off the situation for a second. Underneath the comedic ploy is usually an underlying message from him - if you know you’re worth the attention, you shouldn’t let anyone make you think otherwise. You arrive at the dorm one night, weary with a bruised ego. As soon as you mention to Seokjin that you haven’t been getting a lot of lines or screen time, he yells:

“HUH!? Why!? Don’t they recognize talent when they see it!? Let me speak to your manager!”
( You end up breaking out into a fit of laughter telling Jin to stop. )
“TRY AND STOP ME! _____________ is an amazing idol and people need to know!”

Min Yoongi: Down-to-earth Min Yoongi will have no problems getting rid of your dismay. He’s often quiet, but when it matters, he knows exactly what to say to make you re-evaluate your concerns, in a good way. He’s been through a lot on his life, both as an average person and as a K-Pop idol, so he’s wise to a lot of problems that one might face in the early stages of being in an idol group. Namjoon will be able to share this sentiment too. Yoongi is not surprised in the least bit when you confess that you’re discouraged by the lack of lines in your latest group album. He knows it sucks that you don’t get nearly enough exposure as the other members, so he’ll try to provide some form of closure in his advice. With the most tender of voices and warmest of gazes, he eases the tension you’ve been feeling about this as he speaks frankly:

“If you’ve been hard-working and honest up until this point, the lack of attention you get eventually won’t matter - it’ll come to you, slowly but surely. Every member gets their turn. More importantly, never forget why you do what you do; not because you want fame, but because you love doing it.”

Jung Hoseok: Hobi knows that idols feel this way at some point - but to see you actively being upset about it makes him not only sad, but nervous for you as well. He’s felt this way before, but he doesn’t let it get the better of him, instead using this as motivation to push himself harder. However, he’s not sure what kind of effect being overlooked in a group might have on you. He has always made sure to compliment you on your efforts whenever he can, and has always assured you that you play a role just as important as everyone else’s. He’s sat by the edge of the stage, watching you rehearse the night before your concert. He’s concerned at first, anxious that you might feel less encouraged to perform to your fullest, but when he sees you setting aside all your woes and dancing your heart out, he chuckles to himself. He truly thinks that this is the most amazing display of passion he’s seen, and he’ll never stop being your number one fan for it. He loves you for that.

“Ah, they’re so talented. They’ll get their turn to shine soon, I’m sure of it. I’ve never seen anyone work as diligently as them, even through tough times. I’m not sure why I was ever worried.”

Kim Namjoon: As leader of Bangtan, Namjoon knows how to let each member know that they are appreciated, and are just as vital as any other member. You confess that you’ve been feeling left out and less acknowledged for awhile now. He assures you that without you in the group, it simply would not be what it is anymore; it would not be the same without you - each member has different strengths, and maybe they won’t highlight yours on this album, but they might do so the next. He’ll identify with your problems at first and comfort you, but like Yoongi, he’ll soon remind you of the unbreakable bonds you’ve made with the members over the years, and how these friendships will help re-acquaint you with your integrity as an artist. Kim Namjoon is a bigger picture kind of guy - he’ll try to make you feel better about the lack of recognition by painting a beautiful possibility for you as an idol in a group.

“Yeah, it blows that things are like this now, but it’s only temporary. Give it time - once you stand in an arena in front of a sea of lights as a team, that frustration will wash away - fame, money - none of that stuff will matter anymore, and I swear, it’ll be worth it.”

Bonus: BTS at your first big awards show, especially when it’s your turn to take the stage:


Hope you guys enjoy this react! Sorry if you spot a couple mistakes, if there are any. I’m pretty exhausted right now, but I’ll go over it again tomorrow and correct anything I find!  <3

( gifs do not belong to me!  )

Jung’s Ti, Abridged

These articles are an attempt to condense Chapter X of Psychological Types into a more readable format. I’ve tried to stay as true to the original texts as possible. Enjoy!

Foreword

Introverted Thinking

Introverted Thinking is mechanistic reasoning guided by subjective tendencies that have their roots in the collective unconscious. This subconscious influence might manifest as a vague sense of structure that guides logic, or a more or less complete idea that only needs to be intellectually formulated. In either case, the theories that Ti creates aren’t derived from external facts, however much the Ti type would like that to be true in the name of being “objective”. The idea has its roots in the psyche, and facts are only used to confirm it or provide evidence of its validity.

However, Ti has the dangerous tendency to give the subject too much credit, at which point it might twist and mangle the facts to fit a subjective theory, or ignore them completely and engage in a kind of intellectual fantasy. This Thinking starts to show a mythological streak, the result of its basis in the collective unconscious. The strong convictions of the Ti type come from the evolved validity of these “eternal truths”. However, their value is lost as long as the Ti type neglects to link them up with objective facts and ideas.

Over-introverted Ti risks creating ideas that say nothing real or relevant. By contrast, over-extroverted Te risks becoming nothing more than stating the facts. Ti says, “I think, therefore I think,” while Te says “It is, therefore it is”. If this intensification continues, the Ti type’s outer life goes to another function in the unconscious, usually Feeling. His relationships with people and things will be infected by childish complexes, fears, anxieties, and the negativity characteristic of the unconscious.

The Introverted Thinking Type

This type pursues his intellectual goals like the Te type, but inward instead of outward, going after thoroughness and clarity instead of applicability or relevance. Like all introverts, he has a strained relationship with the outer world. With people, for example, he gives off the impression of being anywhere from indifferent to avoidant. He might be polite, amicable, and kind, but his subtle uneasiness shows a subconscious desire to pacify the outer world and its troublesome influence.

His neglect for the outer world and his inability to communicate his inner thoughts makes him prone to misunderstandings, which only get worse if, in order to compensate and fit in, he builds up a persona with the help of his inferior functions. Although he never shies away from following an unorthodox or dangerous thought to its logical conclusion, he gets extremely anxious when it comes to bringing his ideas into reality. When he does, he dumps them there without any special presentation – in his mind they are right, and everyone should see that. It doesn’t help that his work is full of doubts, saving clauses, and all kinds of precise technicalities. He has trouble seeing that while his logic might be clear in his head, it can be totally incomprehensible to others.

In his personal relationships, he either doesn’t talk much or is regularly misunderstood. He’s often awkward, and anxious to avoid being noticed, or else childishly naive and unconcerned about how he comes across. Casual acquaintances might see him as antisocial, prickly, or arrogant, but the people closest to him know and value his intimate side. In his field of interest he sparks violent controversy, which he has little clue of how to deal with, and he struggles as a teacher, since he’s more interested in the material itself than in presenting it to his students.

The more he cuts himself off from the outer world, the deeper his theories might get, but he’ll be increasingly unable to express them and relate them to the objective world. What’s more, they’ll inevitably be poisoned by the unconscious bitterness, emotionality, and touchiness brought on by his isolation. His Thinking is no longer creative, but destructive, and he responds to criticism of his work with viciously personal remarks. He thinks withdrawing more and more into solitude will solve his problematic relationships, but it only increases the destructive internal conflict.

Emotions #2
  • Aries: The realization that each passerby has a life as vivid and complex as your own
  • Taurus: The tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it
  • Gemini: The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place
  • Cancer: The desire to care less about things, especially when you're not supposed to
  • Leo: The feeling of returning home after an immersive trip only to find it fading rapidly from your awareness
  • Virgo: The bitter-sweetness of having arrived in the future, seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell your past self
  • Libra: The eerie, forlorn atmosphere of a place that is usually bustling with people but is now abandoned and quiet
  • Scorpio: Weariness with the same old issues that you’ve always had – the same boring flaws and anxieties that you’ve been gnawing on for years
  • Sagittarius: The desire to be struck by disaster – to survive a plane crash, or to lose everything in a fire
  • Capricorn: The inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like
  • Aquarius: A hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head
  • Pisces: The realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore
Interesting and Unique Words

As part of one of my New Year’s resolutions - it was to learn new words to add to my vocabulary and I’ve compiled a list thus far (it’s about 350+ words compiled in a list as of original post date [01/12/2016]) of all the words that I found simply and absolutely beautiful, fascinating yet familiar, different (as in, not in the English language; words that have no English translation), colloquial, uncommon, archaic, obsolete - just flat-out distinctive than what we normally use in today’s context and such. 

  • Abibliophobia (n.) - The fear of running out of reading material.
  • Abditory (n.) - A place into which you can disappear; a hiding place.
  • Abendrot (n.) - The color of the sky while the sun is setting.
  • Accismus (n.) - Feigning disinterest in something while actually desiring it.
  • Adoxography (n.) - Beautiful writing on a subject of little or no importance.
  • Agelast (n.) - Someone who never laughs.
  • Ailurophile (n.) - A cat-lover.
  • Aleatory (adj.) - Relying on chance or an uncontrolled element in the details of life or in the creation of art.
  • Alethiology (n.) - The study of truth.
  • Alexithymia (n.) - Inability to describe emotions verbally.
  • Ambulant (adj.) - Moving from place to place.
  • Ambulate (v.) - To walk about or move from place to place.
  • Anacampserote (n.) - Something that can bring back a lost love.
  • Anagnorisis (n.) - The critical moment of recognition or discovery.
  • Anecdoche (n.) - A conversation in which everyone is talking, but nobody is listening.
  • Anhimmeln (v.) - To be enraptured by someone (literally, as if looking at the sky).
  • Anoesis (n.) - A state of mind consisting of pure sensation of emotion without cognitive content.
  • Apanthropinization (n.) - The resignation of human concerns; withdrawal from the world and its problems.
  • Apodyopsis (n.) - The act of mental undressing someone.
  • Appetence (n.) - An eager desire, an indistinct inclination; an attraction or a natural bond.
  • Apricity (n.) - The warmth of the sun in winter.
  • Arcadian (adj.)- Idyllically innocent; simple and untroubled by fear or worry.
  • Assemblage (n.) - A gathering.
  • Asterisms (n.) - “Marking with stars”; a word that gives weight or draws attention to the words that follow; related to asterism, a constellation or a starlike figure of light.
  • Astrophile (n.) - A person who loves stars, astronomy.
  • Atelophobia (n.) - The fear of imperfection; the fear of never being good enough.
  • Athazagoraphobia (n.) - The fear of being forgotten or ignored.
  • Aubade (n.) - A poem or song greeting the dawn.
  • Aurora (n.) - Dawn.
  • Autophile (n.) - A person who loves solitude, being alone.
  • Autophobia (n.) - The fear of oneself or being alone.
  • Axiomatic (adj.) - Self-evident; obvious.
  • Backpfeifengesicht (n.) - A person who needs to be slapped; lit. “a face that needs a fist in it”.
  • Balter (v.) - To dance gracelessly, without particular art or skill, but perhaps with some enjoyment.
  • Basorexia (n.) - The overwhelming desire to kiss.
  • Becoming (adj.) - Attractive.
  • Bedash (v.) - To dash or spatter something all over.
  • Beleaguer (v.) - To exhaust with attacks.
  • Bel-espirt/beaux-esprits (n.) - A person of great wit or intellect.
  • Billet-doux (n.) - A love letter.
  • Blatherskite (n.) - A person given to voluble, empty talk.
  • Bletting (n.) - The ripening of fruit until the desired degree of softness is attained.
  • Bohemian (n.) - Gypsy, wanderer; a person, musician, artist or writer who lives a free spirited life and believes in truth, freedom, and love.
  • Boketto (v.) - The act of gazing vacantly into the distance without thinking.
  • Bolide (n.) - A large, brilliant meteor, especially one that explodes.
  • Bombinate (v.) - To make a humming or buzzing noise.
  • Borborygmi (n.) - The rumbling sounds your stomach makes.
  • Brontide (n.) - The low rumble of distant thunder.
  • Brood (v.) - To think alone.
  • Brumous (adj.) - Of grey skies and winter days; filled with heavy clouds or fog; relating to winter or cold, sunless weather.
  • Bucolic (adj.) - In a lovely rural setting.
  • Bungalow (n.) - A small, cozy cottage.
  • Caim (n.) - “Sanctuary”; an invisible circle of protection, drawn around the body with the hand, to remind one of being safe and loved, even in the darkest of times.
  • Camarilla (n.) - Small group of people with a shared purpose.
  • Carriwitchet (n.) - A pun or a paradox; a riddling question.
  • Catharsis (n.) - The purging or release of emotional tensions, especially through kinds of art or music.
  • Cavil (v.) - To raise irritating and trivial objections; find fault with unnecessarily.
  • Cavil riscaldati (v.) - lit. “reheated cabbage”; the attempt to revive a long-finished love affair.
  • Ceraunophile (n.) - A person who loves lightning and thunder.
  • Charientism (n.) - An artfully veiled insult.
  • Chatoyant (adj.) - Like a cat’s eye.
  • Chimerical (adj.) - merely imaginary; fanciful.
  • Chrysalism (n.) - The amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm.
  • Claptrap (n.) - Pretentious but insincere or empty.
  • Clinomania (n.) - Excessive desire to stay in bed.
  • Clinophile (n.) - The lover of reclining, lying in bed.
  • Clinquant (adj.) - glittering; tinsel-like.
  • Cogitation (n.)  Concerted thought or reflection.
  • Comely (adj.) - Attractive.
  • Commuovere (v.) - To stir, to touch, to move to tears.
  • Conflate (v.) - To blend together.
  • Consanguinity (n.) - Close relationship or connection.
  • Contiguous (adj.) - Touching; in contact.
  • Corrachag-cagail (n.) - Dancing and flickering ember flames.
  • Crapehanger (n.) - A person who sees the gloomy side of things.
  • Cynophile (n.) - A person who loves canines; a dog lover.
  • Cynosure (n.) - A focal point of admiration.
  • Dactylogram (n.) - A fingerprint.
  • Dalliance (n.) - A brief love affair.
  • Dappy (adj.) - Silly, disorganized or lacking concentration.
  • Deipnosophist (n.) - A person who is an adept conversationalist at the table.
  • Demesne (n.) - Dominion, territory.
  • Demure (adj.) - Shy and reserved.
  • Denouement (n.) - The resolution of a mystery.
  • Desideratum (n.) - An ardent longing, as for something lost.
  • Desuetude (n.) - Disuse.
  • Desultory (adj.) - Slow, sluggish; lacking a plan, purpose or enthusiasm.
  • Diaphanous (adj.) - Filmy; light, delicate, and translucent.
  • Dirl (v.) - To thrill, to vibrate, to penetrate; to tremble or quiver.
  • Dissemble (v.) - Deceive; concealing a feeling, motive or intention.
  • Dormiveglia (n.) - The space that stretches between sleeping and waking.
  • Drapetomania (n.) - An overwhelming urge to run away.
  • Duende (n.) - The mysterious power of art to deeply move a person.
  • Dulcet (adj.) - Sweet, sugary.
  • Dulcify (v.) - To make more agreeable; mollify; also, to sweeten.
  • Ebullience (n.) - Bubbling enthusiasm.
  • Eccedentesiast (n.) - Someone who only pretends to smile.
  • Ectopic (adj.) - Occurring in an abnormal position or place; displaced.
  • Eesome (adj.) - Pleasing to the eye.
  • Effervescent (adj.) - Bubbly.
  • Effloresce (v.) - To burst into bloom; blossom.
  • Efflorescence (v.) - Flowering, blooming.
  • Eigengrau (n.) - “dark light” or “brain grey”; the color seen by the eye in perfect darkness.
  • Elision (n.) - Dropping a sound or syllable in a word.
  • Elixir (n.) - A good potion.
  • Eloquence (n.) - Beauty and persuasion in speech; the art of using language in an apt, fluent way.
  • Elysian (adj.) - Beautiful or creative; divinely inspired, peaceful and perfect.
  • Embrocation (n.) - Rubbing on a lotion.
  • Emollient (adj.) - A softener.
  • Énouement (n.) - The bittersweetness of having arrived in the future, seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell your past self.
  • Entelechy (n.) - The realization of potential.
  • Environs (n.) - The surrounding parts or districts, as of a city.
  • Ephemeral (adj.) - Short-lived.
  • Epiphany (n.) - A moment of sudden revelation.
  • Equanimity (n.) - Mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation.
  • Eremophobia (n.) - The deep free of stillness, solitude or deserted places.
  • Erstwhile (adj.) - At one time, for a time.
  • Esoteric (adj.) - Intended for or likely to be understood by only a selected few who have special knowledge or interest; private, secret, confidential, belonging to the select few.
  • Ethereal (adj.) - Gaseous, invisible but detectable; extremely delicate and light in a way that seems too perfect for this world.
  • Ethos (n.) - The fundamental character or spirit of a culture.
  • Eudaemonia (n.) - lit. “Human flourishing”; a contented state of being happy and healthy and prosperous.
  • Euneirophrenia (n.) - The peace of mind that comes from having pleasant dreams.
  • Euphonious (adj.) - pleasing; sweet in sound.
  • Eunoia (n.) - Beautiful thinking; a well mind.
  • Eutony (n.) - The pleasantness of a word’s sound.
  • Evanescent (adj.) - Vanishing quickly, lasting a very short time.
  • Evocative (adj.) - Suggestive; bringing strong images, memories or feelings to mind.
  • Exulansis (n.) - The tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it.
  • Fallacy (n.) - A deceptive, misleading or false notion, belief, etc.
  • Felicity (n.) - Pleasantness.
  • Fernweh (n.) - A crave for travel; being homesick for a place you’ve never been.
  • Fetching (adj.) - Pretty.
  • Filipendulous (adj.) - Hanging by a thread.
  • Feuillemort (n.) - The color of a dying or fading leaf.  
  • Flâneur (n.) - One who strolls around aimlessly but enjoyably, observing life and its surroundings.
  • Floccinaucinihilipilification (n.) - The act of deciding that something is useless.
  • Forbearance (n.) - Withholding response to provocation.
  • Foofaraw (n.) - A great fuss or disturbance about something very insignificant.
  • Frisson (n.) - A shiver of pleasure.
  • Fugacious (adj.) - Fleeting.
  • Furtive (adj.) - Shifty, sneaky.
  • Fusty (adj.) - Old-fashioned or out-of-date.
  • Gallivant (v.) - Go around from one place to another in the pursuit of pleasure or entertainment.
  • Gambol (v.) - To skip or leap about joyfully.
  • Garboil (n.) - Confusion.
  • Gerful (adj.) - Wild and wayward.
  • Gezellig (adj.) - cozy, nice, inviting, pleasant, comfortable; connoting time spent with loved ones or togetherness after a long separation.
  • Glamour (n.) - Beauty.
  • Gleed (n.) - A glowing coal.
  • Gloaming (n.) - Twilight; dusk.
  • Gossamer (n.) - The finest piece of thread, a spider’s silk.
  • Growlery (n) - A place of refuge or sanctuary for use while one is out of sorts or in an ill humor.
  • Gumesservi (n.) - Moonlight shining on water.
  • Habseligkeiten (n.) - Things that an adult might find worthless, but that a child regards as treasures.
  • Halcyon (adj./n.) - Happy, sunny, care-free; denoting a period of time in the past that was idyllically happy and peaceful.
  • Haimish (adj.) - Homey; cozy and unpretentious.
  • Hamartia (n.) - A tragic or fatal flaw.
  • Harbinger (n.) - Messenger with news of the future.
  • Hidebound (adj.) - Narrow and rigid in opinion; inflexible.
  • Higgledy-piggledy (adv.) - In a jumbled, confused or disorderly manner; helter-skelter.
  • Hikikomori (n.) - An adolescent or a young adult who has withdrawn from social life, often obsess with television, internet and video games, and rarely ever leave’s one’s room.
  • Hiraeth (n.) - A homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home which maybe never was; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places of your past.
  • Hornswoggle (v.) - To swindle, cheat, hoodwink or hoax.
  • Ikigai (n.) - A reason for being; the thing that gets you up in the morning.
  • Imbrication (n.) - Overlapping and forming a regular pattern.
  • Imbroglio (n.) - An altercation or complicated situation.
  • Imbue (v.) - To infuse, instill.
  • Immolate (v.) - To sacrifice; kill as a sacrificial victim, especially by burning; to destroy by fire.
  • Incipient (adj.) - Beginning, in an early stage.
  • Indwell (v.) - Be permanently present in (someone’s soul or mind)
  • Ineffable (adj.) - Unutterable, inexpressible.
  • Ingénue (n.) - A naïve young woman.
  • Inglenook (n.) - A cozy nook by the hearth.
  • Insouciance (n.) - Blithe nonchalance.
  • Inure (v.) - To become jaded.
  • Irenic (adj.) - Promoting peace.
  • Jayus (n.) - A joke so poorly told and so unfunny that one cannot help but laugh.
  • Jouska (n.) - A hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head.
  • Kakorrhaphiophobia (n.) - The fear of failure.
  • Kalopsia (n.) - The delusion of things being more beautiful than they really are.
  • Kintsukuroi (n)(v. phr.) - “To repair with gold”; the art of repairing pottery with fold or silver lacquer and understanding that the piece is more beautiful for having been broken.
  • Kittle (adj.) - Difficult to deal with; prone to erratic behavior.
  • Komorebi (n.) - Sunlight that filters through the leaves of trees.
  • L’esprit de l’escalier (n.) - lit. “the spirit of the staircase”; the feeling you get after leaving a conversation, when you think of all the things you should have said.
  • Labyrinthine (adj.) - Twisting and turning.
  • Lachesism (n.) - The desire to be struck by disaster; to survive a plane crash or to lose everything in a fire.
  • Lagniappe (n.) - A special kind of gift.
  • Languor (n.) - Listlessness, inactivity.
  • Lagom (adj.) - Not too little, not too much; just right.
  • Lalochezia (n.) - The emotional relief gained from using abusive or profane language.
  • Lassitude (n.) - Weariness, listlessness.
  • Lethologica (n.) - When you think of something but the word for it escapes you.
  • Liberosis (n.) - The desire to care less about things.
  • Lilt (v.) - To move musically or lively.
  • Limerence (n.) - The state of being infatuated with another person.
  • Lissome (adj.) - Slender and graceful.
  • Lisztomania (n.) - A need to listen to music all the time.
  • Lithe (adj.) - Slender and flexible.
  • Logastellus (n.) - A person whose love of words is greater than their knowledge for words.
  • Logophile (n.) - a person who loves words.
  • Lorn (adj.) - Lost, ruined or undone.
  • Louring (adj./v.) - darkened by clouds; looking angry or sullen.
  • Love (n/v.) - Deep affection.
  • Lucent (adj.) - Softly bright or radiant.
  • Malinger (v.) - To pretend illness, especially in order to shrink one’s duty, avoid work, etc.
  • Mamihlapinatapei (n.) - the wordless, yet meaningful look shared by two people who both desire to initiate something but are both reluctant to start.
  • Maudlin (adj.) - Foolishly sentimental.
  • Maw (n.) - The symbolic or theoretical center of a voracious hunger or appetite of any kind.
  • Meara (n.) - The Irish word for “sea”.
  • Mellifluous (adj.) - Sweet sounding.
  • Melomaniac (n.) - One who is passionate about music.
  • Meraki (v.) - To do something with soul, creativity or love; when you leave a piece of yourself in your work.
  • Metanoia (n)- The journey of changing ones mind, heart, self or way of life.
  • Micawber (n.) - An eternal optimist.
  • Minacious (adj.) - Menacing; threatening.
  • Mirifica (adj.) - Amazing, wondrous; working wonders.
  • Misology (n.) - Distrust or hatred of reason or reasoning.
  • Misonesim (n.) - Hatred or dislike of what is new or represents change.
  • Mizpan (n.) - The deep emotional bond between people, especially those separated by distance or death.
  • Moiety (n.) - One of two equal parts; a half; a small part.
  • Monachopsis (n.) - The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.
  • Mondegreen (n.) - A slip of the ear.
  • Moonstruck (adj.) - unable to think or act normally, especially because of being in love.
  • Morosis (n.) - The stupidest of stupidities.
  • Murmurous (adj.) - Murmuring.
  • Myötähäpeä (n.) - The feeling of shame you experience on the behalf of another person or a character when they do something stupid or embarrassing.
  • Natsukashii (adj.) - Of some small thing that brings you suddenly, joyously back to fond memories, not with a wistful longing for what’s past, but with an appreciation of the good times.
  • Nelipot (n.) - One who walks barefoot
  • Nemesis (n.) - An unconquerable archenemy.
  • Nemophilist (n.) - A haunter of the woods; one who love the forest and its beauty and solitude.
  • Neologize (v.) - To make or use new words or create new meanings for existing words.
  • Nepenthe (n.) - Something that can make you forget grief or suffering.
  • Nephelolater (n.) - Somebody who admires the passing clouds.
  • Niveous (adj.) - Resembling snow.
  • Nodus Tollens (n.) - The realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore.
  • Nostalgia (n.) - A bittersweet longing for things, persons or situations of the past.
  • Novaturient (adj.) - Desiring or seeking powerful change in one’s life, behavior or situation.
  • Numinous (adj.) - Describing an experience that makes you fearful yet fascinated, awed yet attracted — the powerful, personal feeling of being overwhelmed and inspired.
  • Nyctophile (n.) - A person who loves night, darkness.
  • Nyctophilia (n.) - Love of darkness or night, finding relaxation or comfort in the darkness.
  • Obfuscate (v.) - To confuse or bewilder; to render obscure, unclear or intelligible; to darken.
  • Oeillade (n.) - an amorous glance; ogle.
  • Offing (n.) - The sea between the horizon and the offshore.
  • Oneirataxia (n.) - The inability to distinguish between fantasy and reality.
  • Onism (n.) - The frustration of being stuck in just one body, that inhabits only one place at a time.
  • Onomatopoeia (n.) - A word that sounds like its meaning.
  • Opia (n.) - The ambiguous intensity of looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable.
  • Opulent (adj.) - Lush, luxuriant.
  • Oriflamme (n.) - A symbol or standard that inspires condense, devotion or courage.
  • Orphic (adj.) - Mysterious and entrancing; beyond ordinary understanding.
  • Otiose (adj.) - Being at leisure; idle; indolent.
  • Palimpsest (n.) - A manuscript written over earlier ones.
  • Panacea (n.) - A solution for all problems.
  • Pandiculation (n.) - An all-over stretching and yawning, as upon waking or going to bed.
  • Panoply (n.) - A complete set.
  • Parageusia (n.) - An abnormal or hallucinatory sense of taste.
  • Pastiche (n/v.)- An art work combining materials from various sources.
  • Peart (adj.) - Lively; cheerful.
  • Penultimate (adj.) - Next to the last.
  • Penumbra (n.) - A half-shadow.
  • Peripeteia (n.) - A sudden or unexpected reversal of circumstances; the point of no return.
  • Persnickety (adj.) - Placing too much emphasis on trivial or minor details; fussy.
  • Perspicuous (n.) - Clearly expressed or presented; lucid.
  • Petrichor (n.) - The pleasant smell of earth after rain.
  • Pettifogging (adj.) - Insignificant; petty.
  • Phatic (adj.) - Denoting speech used to express or create an atmosphere of shared feeling, goodwill or sociability rather than to convey information.
  • Philocalist (n.) - A lover of beauty; someone who finds and appreciates beauty in all things.
  • Philonoist (n.) - One who seeks knowledge.
  • Philophobia (n.) - The fear of falling in love.
  • Phosphenes (n.) - The stars and colors you see when you rub your eyes.
  • Photophile (n.) - A person who loves light.
  • Pisanthrophobia (n.) - Fear of trusting people due to past experiences with relationships gone bad.
  • Pistoriophile (n.) - A lover of baking, baked goods.
  • Pluvial (adj.) - Of or pertaining to rain; rainy.
  • Pluviophile (n.) - A lover of rain; someone who finds joy and peace of mind during rainy days.
  • Pontificate (n.) - To express one’s opinions in a way considered annoyingly pompous or dogmatic; (in the Roman Catholic Church) to officiate as a bishop.
  • Prate (v.) - To talk excessively and pointlessly.
  • Propinquity (n.) - An inclination.
  • Pulchritudinous (adj.) - Physically beautiful; comely.
  • Pyrrhic (adj.) - Successful with heavy losses.
  • Quaintrelle (n.) - a woman who emphasizes a life of passion, expressed through personal style, leisurely pastimes, charm, and cultivation of life’s pleasures.
  • Quaquaversal (adj.) - Moving or happening in every direction instantaneously.
  • Quatervois (n.) - A crossroads; a critical decision or turn point in one’s life.
  • Querencia (n.) - A place from which one’s strength is drawn, where one feels at home; the place where you are your most authentic self.
  • Quiescent (adj.) - a quiet, soft-spoken soul.
  • Quintessential (adj.)- Most essential.
  • Quixotic (adj.) - Extravagantly chivalrous or romantic.
  • Raconteur (n.) - one who excels in story-telling.
  • Raison d'être (n.) - a reason for existing.
  • Ravel (v) - To knit or unknit; confuse or complicate.
  • Razz (v.) - To deride; make fun of; tease.
  • Redamancy (n.) - act of loving in return.
  • Redolent (adj.) - Fragrant.
  • Retrophile (n.) - A lover of past eras and objects.
  • Retrouvaille (n.) - The joy of meeting or finding someone again after a long separation; rediscovery.
  • Rimjhim (n.) - A light, tapping sound produced by the series of raindrops rapidly falling and hitting onto a surface.
  • Riparian (adj.) - By the bank of a stream.
  • Ripple (n.) - A very small wave.
  • Rubatosis (n.) - The unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat.
  • Rubricate (v.) - To mark or color with red.
  • Rückkehrunruhe (n.) - The feeling of returning home after an immersive trip only to find it fading rapidly from your awareness.
  • Rusticate (v.) - To go to the country.
  • Sangfroid (n.) - Coolness of mind; calmness; composure.
  • Sapiosexual (n.) - A person who is sexually attracted to intelligence in others.
  • Sciamachy (n.) - An act or instance of fighting a shadow or an imaginary enemy.
  • Scintilla (n.) - A tiny, brilliant flash or spark; a small thing; a barely-visible trace.
  • Scintillate (v.) - To emit sparks; to twinkle, as the stars.
  • Scofflaw (n.) - A person who flouts the law, especially one who fails to pay fines owned.
  • Sehnsucht (n.) - “the inconsolable longing in the human heart for we know not what”; a yearning for a far, familiar, non-earthly land one can identify as one’s home.
  • Selcouth (adj.) - Unfamiliar, rare, strange, and yet marvelous
  • Selenophile (n.) - A person who loves the moon.
  • Sempiternal (adj.) - Everlasting; eternal.
  • Seraglio (n.) - Rich, luxurious oriental palace or harem.
  • Serendipity (n.) - Finding something nice while looking for something else; finding something good without looking for it.
  • Shtick (n.) - One’s special interest, talent, etc.
  • Sillage (n.) - The scent that lingers in air, the trail left in water, the impression made in space after something or someone has been and gone; the trace of someone’s perfume.
  • Sirimiri (n.) - A light rain, a fine drizzle.
  • Slake (v.) - To allay (thirst, desire, wrath, etc.) by satisfying.
  • Smultronställe (n.) - lit. “place of wild strawberries”; a special place discovered, treasured, returned to for solace and relaxation; a personal idyll free from stress or sadness.
  • Sobremesa (n.) - The time spent around the table after lunch or dinner, talking to the people you shared the meal with; time to digest and savor both food and friendship.
  • Soigné (adj.) - Possessing an aura of sophistication in dress, manner or design; presented or prepared with an elegance attained through care for the finer details.
  • Solivagant (adj.) - Wandering alone.
  • Sophrosyne (n.) - A healthy state of mind, characterized by self-control, moderation, and a deep awareness of one’s true self, and resulting in true happiness.
  • Sortable (adj.) - A person you can take anywhere without fear of being embarrassed.
  • Sough (n./v.) - The gentle, soothing murmur of wind or water; to moan, to rustle, to sigh.
  • Squib (n.) - A short and witty or sarcastic saying or writing.
  • Stigmatophile (n.) - a person who loves tattoos and/or piercings.
  • Summery (adj.) - Light, delicate or warm and sunny.
  • Sumptuous (adj.) - Lush, luxurious.
  • Superfluous (adj.) - More than enough; unnecessary.
  • Surreptitious (adj.) - Secretive, sneaky.
  • Susquehanna (n.) - A river in Pennsylvania.
  • Susurrant (adj.) - Softly murmuring; whispering.
  • Susurrous (adj.) - Whispering, hissing or rustling sound.
  • Syzygy (n.) - An alignment of three celestial objects, as the sun, the earth, and the moon.
  • Talisman (n.) - A good luck charm.
  • Tarantism (n.) - Overcoming melancholy by dancing; the uncontrollable urge to dance.
  • Thalassophile (n.) - A person who loves the sea and/or ocean.
  • Thinking (n.) - The talking of the soul with itself.
  • Tintinnabulation (n.) - Tinkling; the sound “that so musically wells from the bells, bells, bells, bells”; the sound that lingers after a bell has been struck.
  • Thorpe (n.) - A man who is desperately in love with a woman, but cannot admit his feelings or approach her.
  • Toothsome (adj.) - Pleasing to the taste; palatable.
  • Trenchant (adj.) - Vigorous or incisive in expression or style.
  • Transpontine (adj.) - Across or beyond a bridge.
  • Trouvaille (n.) - Something lovely discovered by chance; a windfall.
  • Tsundoku (n.) - The act of buying a book and leaving it unread, often piled together with other unread books.
  • Tumultuary (adj.) - Confused; disorderly; haphazard.
  • Ugsome (adj.) - Horrid; loathsome.
  • Umbreiferious (adj.) - Casting or making shade.
  • Untoward (adj.) - Unseemly, inappropriate.
  • Vellichor (n.) - The strange wistfulness of used bookshops.
  • Vestigial (adj.) - In trace amounts.
  • Viridescent (adj.) - Slightly green; greenish.
  • Vorfreude (n.) - The joyful, intense anticipation that comes from imagining future pleasures.
  • Wafture (n.) - Waving.
  • Wallflower (n.) - A person who because of shyness, unpopularity or lack of a partner, remains at the side at a part or dance; any person that remains on or has been forced to the sidelines of any activity.
  • Wherewithal (n.) - The means.
  • Williwaw (n.) - A violent squall that blows in near-polar latitudes.
  • Wisenheimer (n.) - A wisecrack or smart aleck.
  • Withershins (adv.) - Counterclockwise; in a direction contrary to the natural one.
  • Woebegone (adj.) - Sorrowful, downcast.
  • Ya’aburnee (n.) - lit “you bury me”; a declaration of one’s hope that they’ll die before another person because of how difficult it would be to live without them.
  • Yūgen (n.) - An awareness of the universe that triggers emotional responses too deep and mysterious for words.

I’m going to do my best to update this as best as I can for the rest of the year and use these words in daily conversations and my vernacular in general. They’ll be mainly used for when I reflect back on things (aka colloquies from the balcony) and for my daily journal entries for this page.

Enjoy!

P.S. Sorry if there are some typos or words that are out of order alphabetically; autocorrect tends to best me without me noticing.

anonymous asked:

what placements can make someone awkward or self-conscious and have a lack of confidence? (btw love your blog Xx)

Capricorn placements, or inner planets in aspect to Saturn. Such as with Venus (social urges) aspecting Saturn one has a hard time relating and connecting with others, or with sun (ego) in aspect with Saturn one has difficulty expressing themselves comfortably with others, which comes off as awkward, and they are generally not confident in themselves due to their constant inner criticism and self-doubt. Saturn in the 10th or 11th makes someone painfully aware of the ways of the public and therefore self-conscious when they’re presented to the public. 

The moon plays a part in public as well, the mass consciousness as Isabel Hickey states, and so an afflicted moon can suggest similar themes; being unable to relate well to others, insecurity and painful self-consciousness. 

Aquarius placements or Uranus contacts may have a feeling of awkwardness, a need for belonging but unable to relate to conventional life. such as with uranus aspecting moon one will not feel like they belong. 

Pisces/12th house placements or neptune aspects can cause low confidence because neptunian energy dilutes and dissolves what it touches. So with the sun, the identity is diluted and thus unclear to others and the individual. This person would then have trouble asserting their identity confidently.

-Dia

anonymous asked:

Headcanon of the bros s/o as a super shy person that is kinda a crybaby? btw love your blog keep up the amazing work! ^^

sure thing! and thank you so much for your compliment, it really means so much ;u;

Noctis: 

  • He might have initially thought that their shyness would be an annoying trait that would get in the way of their personal growth, but eventually he’d come to learn that he has his own shy sides that he feels he can show around this person. 
  • Since he is the more assertive one out of the pair (being heir to the throne doesn’t exactly allow for any shyness), he feels the need to stick by his partner often if he ever needs to save them from situations they feel uncomfortable in. But he honestly doesn’t mind it; he likes being needed, a lot more than others might think.
  • He would try to gently nudge his partner to do things they might think are scary but end up not being so bad. Like when talking to someone new, he’ll give them a little pat on the back and say, “Go on.” At the end of the day, he really does want his partner to feel okay with themselves and try to improve upon their crippling shyness.
  • Once he finds out that they cry easily, he has to take differing procedures whenever they start to tear up. If it’s just because a movie didn’t give the protagonists a happy ending, he’ll sigh (fondly) and pull them to him to kiss their hair. If it’s because someone crossed a line, he will definitely find who did it and make them regret it. 

Ignis:

  • His mother hen tendencies practically double in regards to his partner; he often has a “they’re hopeless without me” mindset whenever they’re in a pinch and thus isn’t very surprised when problems arise from their shyness. If it weren’t already obvious, he is very good at saving people and pretty much considers it his job.
  • He might become confused at some points. Though their quiet demeanor and gentle heart are undeniably endearing, he sometimes wonders if their extreme shyness is something they’ll have trouble with in the future, then worry he’s not doing enough to get them to open up and grow as a person. 
  • Ignis probably comes off as more of a babysitter than a romantic partner when in public with them. The way he fawns over them and makes sure they’re comfortable at all times may even seem saccharine at some point, but it’s because he genuinely adores them and the last thing he wants is to see them cry. 
  • When he’s especially torn over how he takes care of his partner, he’ll hold them gently and sigh. “What am I to do with you? Everything you do somehow makes me want to spoil you rotten.”

Gladio:

  • Oftentimes he’s unable to relate to moments that make his partner uncomfortable, since Gladio’s idea of an awkward situation is vastly different from normal standards. He usually doesn’t see a reason for his s/o to get flustered when a seemingly obvious solution to the problem exists, but they’re just too nervous to see it. 
  • Thus, he’s not the best at helping them out in uncomfortable situations, since most of the time he sits back and consciously leaves his partner to try to figure out the best way out of it themselves. He’s the opposite of Ignis, who spoils his partner by letting them depend on him all the time. It may seem too harsh, but the bottom line is that he also wants to see his partner grow and come out of their shell.
  • At the same time, he likes their shy nature because getting them flustered is easy (and therefore fun for him). He’ll often say it’s not that he hates their shyness, but just that they can’t stay that way forever or else they might miss out on a lot of opportunities in the future.
  • If they end up crying over something trivial, even he can’t get frustrated. “You’re adorable,” he’ll laugh while petting their head.

Prompto:

  • He probably thinks that his partner’s shyness is the cutest thing in the world. His favorite thing to do is shower them in compliments, then watch them go red. Having such an effect on someone is something he can’t seem to get over. It’s too fun and too cute to watch. 
  • Prompto also insists on sticking by his partner’s side as much as he can, because the thought of them wandering off somewhere or being approached by scary people is enough to scare him. He’ll always remind them to call him if they’re ever in trouble, because “your hero Prompto is always at your beck and call!”
  • He doesn’t see their shyness as a problem. If they aren’t comfortable doing things, then he’s more than happy to help them or do it for them. The idea of pushing them out of their comfort zone makes him worry his partner might have a meltdown at some point. In general, he’s very sensitive to how they might feel in certain situations, and says he’s just fine with the way they are. 
  • Usually if his partner’s in trouble, he’ll just grab their hand and run away from the situation if possible, or try to puff up his chest and look aggressive to possible predators. (It usually doesn’t work.)

(whgwbhgbhhw THIS ENDED UP BEING SO LONG oops,)

Normally I wouldn’t make this post, because it’s not exactly a-spec positivity. But given that there’s another trickle of “let’s accuse the mods of pedophilia” combined with “let’s try to guess the name of the mod” (all of which guesses are still wrong by the way) and I think that is particularly dangerous and manipulative, here it is anyway.

When I say that sometimes there are children who experience sexual desires, drives, and attractions, there are several things I’m not doing and only one thing I am doing. I am not saying “and therefore it is acceptable for them to engage in sexual relationships and behaviors”. I am not saying “and this is true of all children”. I am not saying “this is true of children at any and all ages”. And I am not saying “therefore it is acceptable for adults to consider children’s sexuality”.

The one and only thing I am saying is that there is no magic age at which a switch in a minor’s brain gets flipped and they suddenly find themselves sexually attracted to others or interested in their own sexuality. That minors who are going to experience those things may begin to during a pretty wide range of time. And because this is a normal part of kids growing up, that means that a child’s peers may discover, through interaction with children who have already begun to consider their own sexuality, that they AREN’T experiencing those things yet. Maybe they will and maybe they won’t. But the fact that their peers have begun to and they haven’t is often a discussion of feeling left out and disconnected within kids’ spaces. High school and even sometimes middle school can be tough for kids who don’t experience crushes or can’t figure out how to engage in conversations about classmates being cute or not.

But here’s the most important thing I want people to understand about that post I made that they keep having the nerve to call disgusting. When I made that post, I was specifically talking about myself as the child who experienced sexual desires and attractions at a young age. Some of them were “age appropriate” so to speak, but a lot of them weren’t. I did not engage with them around other children my age because I had already learned really quickly that my existence was (as so many of you have gleefully been calling it ever since I made that post) disgusting, predatory, and abusive. It was not the child abusers and sexual predators who were exposing my peers to violence and harm apparently, but myself. And because I internalized that message - the very concept of a child who understands themselves, personally, as having a definable sexuality is disgusting and therefore I, who embodies that, am disgusting too - I ended up exactly where people keep accusing me of causing others to end up. I was so disgusted by myself, so desperate to never let anyone see that I was a monster, that when one single person came along and said they understood and loved me anyway, that they were the only person who could look past my disgustingness and care about me, I believed them. And because the world seemed to agree that they would, as they said, be my only chance at love, I never stood up for myself over anything. The first few people who did this to me were my peers, my age. The next several were not.

This is why I made a post that said it was okay for kids to be asexual, allosexual, in between, neither. Because I grew up knowing I was, very much, a person with a definable allosexual sexuality. And I met hundreds in survivor groups as an adult who told me that same familiar story. Of learning of their sexuality too early, of being called disgusting and sick by friends and family, and of falling victim to people who claimed no one would ever love us if we left them. Because I heard stories from those survivors whose sexualities changed in response to their trauma. Whose trauma had been caused after someone found out they were already asexual. Whose trauma happened because they didn’t feel allowed to have or understand their sexuality and now they were afraid they never would.

So allow me to repeat myself.

Child-Me, your sexuality, however much people lied to you, was never the problem. The existence of your attractions, drives, and desires was to be gently learned, so that you could safely express them at an appropriate age, not ground down and repressed so as to be taken advantage of later. This is true for all others who were like you.

Child-Best-Friend, it was okay that you never understood what it was like to experience such drives and desires. You were loved in a million ways, as you are today, and you deserved support and understanding, not the vitriol of your peers, the mockery of your abusers, or the violence of your harm. You are whole and healthy and you will find affection and compassion and romance-free or romance-full love in many places. This is true for all others who were like you.

Child-Survivor, your uncertainty in yourself, whether or not you wanted the things your peers wanted, should never have been wielded against you like a weapon. You were so many good things, witty, loving, creative, and your value should have been allowed to lay there, not in how fast you figured out whether or not sexual relationships, attractions, or encounters meant anything to you. I know it may feel like that violence changes you. Maybe it did, maybe it didn’t, but you are still you and I still love you. This is true for all others who were like you.

To all children who hear their peers talk about sexuality and fear in their hearts that something is wrong with them for being unable to relate, whether because of asexuality, sexuality “too soon”, sexuality in “wrong directions”, whatever it is, it is part of you, and it is your normal. You will be okay. People will love you. And those who don’t, or who insist others won’t, are not worth your time. Whether you have found yourself fully yet or not, you deserve to be treated with respect and to not fear, in the way of children, that your life will be over if anyone learns the truth.

To all those who have decided that this message is somehow the “real problem”, the company you keep is violent and dangerous, and I remember your kind. You can’t threaten me into giving up on protecting your victims and I hope someday you realize how much you hurt yourselves by trying.