umm this guy

If Attack on Titan was in the style of “The Office”

Eren: *gets to work two hours before everyone else*

“HAHA those cowards. If they were real soldiers then they would be here early like me!” 

*falls asleep*

*wakes up as everyone is going home and realizes he slept through the entire work day* 

“DAMMIT!” 

*explains to Mikasa and Armin that it was the fault of the titans” 

Mikasa: *glares angrily at Eren flirting with Levi*

“There’s no one here that I hate. However, if a certain individual in the survey corps were to suddenly catch fire and I was the only one who had a bucket of water…I’d drink the water.” 

*smiles evilly at Levi* 

Armin: *chaos erupting behind him*

“In my opinion, do I think I am smarter than everyone else?”

 *turns around to see everyone being dumb and building on fire*

“I would say it’s more of a fact.”

Jean: *staring at Marco* 

“Who do I think is the hottest in the trainee corps?”

 *shot of Marco doing something so unbelievably adorable and Jean blushing* 

“Yeah…I’d have to say me.” 

Marco: *smiling into the camera looking all cute*

“I know I said I’d wait till marriage but Jean told me that God can’t see in the dark.”

 *blushes*

Reiner: *looking at Connie doing something stupid*

“Connie is the Survey Corps idiot. No one really knows how he is still alive.”

Bert: *looks anxiously into the camera*

“So umm….do you guys like….always record us…..even when we are having private conversations?” 

*shot of Bert and Reiner and Annie talking about being Titans* 

“Because ummm…..if you do…..that’s not cool bro.” 

Annie: *rolling her eyes*

“Look I’m here for two reasons and two reasons only. One, to get me a piece of that blonde booty over there 

*shot of Armin holding back Eren from punching Jean* 

and two, to murder everyone in their sleep.”

Sasha: *looking blankly into the camera and smiling*

“Every once in a while they make me murder a giant naked person. At first I was opposed to it but then I started noticing that every time I kill one they feed me. So here I am.”

Connie: *wearing a pink toupee* 

“Reiner said pink really brings out my eyes” 

*Reiner laughing his ass off in the back* 

“I think he’s right cause everyone in the trainee corps won’t stop staring at me.”

*everyone in the back rolling on the floor crying of laughter* 

Erwin: *on the topic of Levi*

“I’m not really sure what Levi does around here. He kind of just showed up and started killing Titans. I remember that day very clearly because my eyebrows were the fleekiest they have ever been. Did I say that right? Fleekiest? Fleeky? Fleek? I’m not sure, I heard a child say it once so I thought I’d sprinkle it into my vocabulary to make me sound hipper.” 

Levi: *sleeping in a chair* *talking in his sleep*

“Yeah……oh yeah….you’re so dirty. You’re a dirty little cabinet aren’t you?” 

*wakes up and sees camera* 

“Do you really have to record me while I sleep? Don’t you guys ever have to take a shit?” 

Hanji: *takes off her glasses* 

“Oh these things? They’re fake. I wear them to make myself look smarter. They actually impair my vision quite severely. But you have to pick and choose your battles, am I right?” 

*points finger guns at camera and winks* 

Moblit: *Hanji causes a science experiment to explode causing Moblit to lose his eyebrows*

“Honestly, at this point, I’m not even mad at her. I’m just mad at myself.”

Squad Levi: *Gunther, Eld, and Oluo wrapping each other in scotch tape* *Petra shaking her head in disapproval*

Petra- “I used to partake in their shenanigans until one day I realized I wasn’t 6 years old.” 


(I wish I could draw these but I cannot draw) *cries* 

Umm…guys does this mean tadashi is coming back xxx cant wait for the series anyone know anything let me know xx
Quick note:
I apologise for not crediting on this ‘fanart’ but i honestly have know idea who made it xx i literally just found it imdb ( if u were wondering idk if u were or not but whatever.) Xx i wanna give a shoutout to the people who have now helped me find out who’s art work this is @benteja xx Thanks guys felt really bad after I ‘stole’ this fanart xxx anyway have a nice summer guys and thanks u for the support xx love u all xx

youtube

LOVE this ACOMAF fan trailer!!

nothing-stays-the-same  asked:

Hey!! I was wondering if you or your followers have any knowledge on the fur genetics of dalmatians? I have a curiosity™ and I can't find it anywhere. Basically I saw a picture of a dog someone claims to be the mixture of a labrador and a dalmatian, and said dog has black spots but brownish fur (instead of white). People are saying it's fake, and I wanna know if that's even possible genetically? Thanks!

Ooooh, who all would know about this? I’m sure there are multiple people around that I could tag… Was it impish-iggies who did genetics (and if so, what’s their new blog name, guys?)? Umm.

@streetdogmillionaires, @quichehound, @herebelife, @why-animals-do-the-thing - who knows stuff?

space orcs

But like, aliens being really surprised at how seriously we take our fandoms. I mean they only just got over the fact that we have fiction and not strictly non fiction. They have mostly been convinced that we don’t have powers but they’re still suspicious. For example,

*cue alien accidentally overhearing conversation between two female and one male recruits *

“ HOLY CRAP HELEN, I BET YOU DIDNT HEAR WHAT I HEARD.”

*sigh* “and what exactly did you hear Mary.”

“ DAVE HASNT READ HARRY POTTER.”

“ WHAT” 

“I know right!!!! AND THATS NOT THE WORST PART IS HE WAS DISSING NOT ONLY HUFFLEPUFF BUT SLYTHERIN AS WELL.”

“"ExCUSE ME. OHH I KNOW HE DIDNT DOES HE WANT TO GO. HE WANTS TO GO DOESNT HE. I WILL SHOW HIM WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A SLYTHERIN.”

“"Oh, and did I menTION THAT HE WAS ALSO SAYING THAT PERCYJACKSON WAS FOR CHILDREN.”

“THATS IT HES GOING DOWN, THE FILTHY MUGGLEHEADED MORTAL.”

“"Umm, guys you know that I haven’t read them and they are technically written for kids.

“…” 

“THATS IT IM GOING TO DECAPITATE YOU STEVE”

*alien uncomfortably slinks away to update the human manual to “ not insulted the Hairy Potty or Percy son of Jack*

(Feel free to add)

“Um, ok, you’re the Coach..”

Is something you shouldn’t always say…

Or y’know, end up like this blank, hypnotized, good boy here.

Maybe I should reintroduce myself, if you’ve forgotten who am I already, or just visit and access the story before this one: “Sorry, What?” Link

This piece of meat is an exchange student from Canada, carrying some sort of scholarship that gave him a free ride along with all facilities paid for. School System has him bearing the name William Red, which kind of has a nice ring to it. And for you to get the whole story, we will start at the top.

It was 6PM, and there weren’t a lot of guys and gals in the gym, possibly because it was crunch time. The gym barely had 4 users, which was sort of disappointing. 

“DING!”

It was an email from the Admissions and Facilities Department, and left me sort of curious.

Subject: Admission of Mr. William Reddison [StudID: 12938]

Dear Braxton, 

We will be admitting a Canadian Exchange Student today, and he has specified that he wishes to use the gym regularly on a regular basis. His details, records, and additional documents have been saved on the Staff Drives along with photographs in digital format. Please grant him access to the gym, and introduce him to the facilities we have.

We can always rely on you for everything Brax,

Sincerly, Judith.

Head of Admissions

I immediately clicked into the Shell and accessed my drive, but stopped to think.

It’s probably another nerdy scholar, with a funny accent”

I shrugged, and inputted my log-in

//  University Staff Drive  \

Welcome Brax,

ACCESS?> J:\BraxFiles\SharedFiles

COMMAND?>list

[Ellis, Jonathan] <-OPENED->

[Bain, Raymond] <-OPENED->

[Johnson, Max] <-OPENED->

[Reddison, William] <-SHARED BY judith.samson@admissions.system

COMMAND?>DOWNLOAD [Reddison, William] X:\PersonalFiles\ControlledBoys\NewTargets

The command has been completed sucessfully.

COMMAND?>OPEN

My dick immediately hardened, and knew that he needed to get under one of my training programs!

Name: William Reddison

Notes: After interviewing Mr Reddison, he seems to be a shy guy, with minimal social connections to close friends, family and mates. Does not seem to like spending long periods of time with a stranger, but favors the gym. Reddison has also indicated to us that he feels more free in the gym, and may serve as a exploit in getting at least a conversation with him 

- Judith

Date of Birth: REDACTED

Place prior transfer: Montreal, Canada

Scholarship: Jason Cox’s Excellence In Athletics Scholarship

[New Notification: New Student Logged In - William R.]

There he was, wearing his Red Calvin Kleins, with a white tank top, and Nike shorts”

I already made plans with Jonathan, (you may remember him from a previous encounter) to err, make it easier for me to, umm, compel the new guys. Jonathan quickly made friends with the Canadian hunk, and called me in.

Jonathan: Coach, this is William, he’s new here

William: “Errm, umm, hey. I’d like to train please”

Me: “Yeah, sure thing. Follow me to my office”

The office was upgraded to have blinds, to ensure no one on the outside knew what I was doing to fuckable fuckboys.  

So, Mr Red. Take a seat. I need to verify a few things before we get you started…

Welcome to GymOS!

COMMAND?>LOAD GRAFX X:\MindSnap\CONTROL.exe -unsuspecting

This command is now running…

William, take a look at the screen here, do these records look alright to you?

William was groaning, grunting out yesses at every page, each yes getting longer.

Fuck, he looks so good going under..

I signaled Jonathan to slowly and gently hold the hunk on the chair, as William was staring at the screen. It was a spiral, though it was transparent so he wouldn’t suspect, but enough to be visible by the subconscious.

He started to resist, and jiggle aggressively 

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING? LEEET MEEEE GOOOOoooo…”

His body started to sloooowly slump.

Good boy.

At 7:30PM tonight boy, you will come over to the addressed supplied to you, and you will strip down to your underwear lie down on my bed, and wait further instructions.

His glassy eyes simply flickered, with his head nodding, saying ‘Yes’



I walked into my room at 7:45PM to find him like this. I smirked, and started feeling him up. Another blank muscle boy added to my collection. He needed more work, but nothing I could fix.

I put my hand on his crotch, and told him the following:

“You are no one else now, but mine. You will still go to University, train hard with me in the gym, aim for the best in your studies, and get a job, and you will come home to me, mindless, obedient, and waiting to serve.”

“Yes”

I asked him to strip off his underwear and start playing with it mindlessly.


“Yes”

He was mine to use. Mine to control. Mine to fuck. Mine to do whatever I want.

Kneel while standing up boy!

“Yes”

Now, you are no longer a shy muscle man. You are now a cocky, arrogant and playful subject. You know you are controlled, and you like it. You love it. You need it. Being controlled is what defines you now. You love me. You need me. You can’t live without me. Understood?

His voice shifted to a more playful and cocky tone

“Yes”

He liked having his photos taken now, with or without clothes, and enjoys his regular fucks, and submissions. 

He thanks me regularly for freeing him of his own control, now that I control him. We are now processing his visa, so he can stay here with me, forever, as my Canadian muscle puppet boy.


Please leave a like, a follow, and a reblog along with a message on how you thought of this story with maybe some comments on how to improve it.

The Stash is now READY to be distributed. Follow the instructions above, and reblog some of my old posts. Message me, and you will receive a Magnet Link for a torrent client. Seed over your downloaded file size ratio! Do not download if you cannot seed!

There are also just a few spaces left in my fitness hypnosis program!

So make sure you shoot me a message on Kik/Tumblr, and get ready to finally gain muscle and mass (and not just your right hand!) 

Also looking for guys, to put under hypnosis on casual sessions!

So hit me up!

Is it just me...

 When I am reading something very funny and highly inappropriate at the same time in front of my parents and I laugh, my parents expect me to explain. I’m like umm so this guy like this person and he said something that made the other person laugh. My parents are like um okay and i’m like just keep sinning, just keep sinning, just keep sinning sinning. 

Lunch break well-used. Here’s the drabble from this post. Tagging @destieldrabblesdaily​ since the anon was sent to u.


The distinct hum of the Impala’s tires reminds Sam they’ll need a new set soon, and knowing Dean, they won’t be cheap. Of course, his brother already knows that—as he likes to bitch and moan for hours about the cost of keeping the Impala in prime condition.

The drive to Jefferson, GA for their next hunt is long and uneventful. Sam debates bringing up the few to-do items creeping up on them: car repairs, bunker repairs, ammo restocking, and they could really use a new—

“I am not having this conversation again!” Dean shouts at the windshield.

Confused, Sam turns to face his older brother. “Um, what conversation?”

Dean lets out a huff, faces Sam briefly, putting on his best ‘Can-you-believe-this-shit?’ expression. “Like you know everything!”

He opens his mouth to respond when Dean rolls his eyes. Utterly flummoxed, Sam hesitantly says, “…I don’t.”

“Right.” Dean nods, pointing at nothing. “Right!?

In the midst of wondering what in the hell he’s missing, Dean throws both arms in the air and growls. “You’re not going on this hunt and that’s the goddamn end of it!”

Considering he happens to be the one driving them to the hunt, he’s now very very confused. He slows down for the sole purpose of narrowing his eyes at Dean and paying less attention to the road.

Dean bows his head and covers his face with his hands. He’s clearly upset. Or… insane? Sam’s not sure and he’s sort of afraid to find out. From behind the wall of his palms, Dean’s words come out muffled, “Would you just tell him, Sammy?”

Oh, Jesus. Dean is obviously seeing delusions. This isn’t good, nope, not at all. He’s cautious when he opens his mouth, “Um, tell-tell who Dean?”

Shooting upright, Dean glares at him and points hard at his own temple. “This dumbass!”

Sam can feel his eyes bulge. He stares, wondering if he should go for the knife they’ve got tucked under the seat. “I think maybe we should—”

“Oh, please! Don’t make excu—Stop INTERRUPTING ME!

“I didn’t, I don’t…” Sam fumbles for words. “What the hell is going on?” he wonders, a whisper of a question that’s more meant for the ether than Dean directly.

All at once, Dean folds over his legs and sighs. At this point, Sam pulls over. Something is wrong.

Seconds pass and his concern spikes, but just before he takes action, he hears Dean’s low whisper. “Because I love you and if you get hurt… I can’t…” there’s a giant, weighted pause, and then, “I just can’t, okay.” The whole time Dean rubs over his head, and it’s a peculiar gesture for Dean—not unexpected, just simply… peculiar. As if he’s comforting himself.

It hits Sam finally. Dean was never arguing with him to begin with. He’d been having a conversation with Cas the whole time. Via prayer, apparently.

Dean nods to the dashboard when he sits back against the seat. He shakes his head, turns to his brother and says, “So… Cas is gonna meet us in Jefferson.”

Sam can’t help but ask, “Um, so how often do you guys, uhh, talk like that?”

His brother’s green eyes fixate on the ceiling before they close. “Few times a day. Why?”

“Huh.” Sam wonders about all the times Dean’s said something out of the blue and realizes it may not have always been out of the blue. And then he remembers the time Dean smacked his own thigh in the middle of breakfast and cried out, “My god, you’re dirty!” At the time, Sam figured it was due to the fact they’d just gotten back from hunt and both of them were disgusting; unshaven and rocking three days without a shower. Now, he’s pretty sure that comment was not directed at him. And frankly, he’s disturbed.

“What?” Dean glares at him, upset and flustered.

“Nothing, nothing. Umm, you guys don’t, like, have prayer sex or anything do you?”

Dean scrunches his face, and punches Sam on the shoulder, “Dude, what’s wrong with you?!”

Yeah, he knows his brother though. “Right. So that’s a yes.” The older Winchester rolls his eyes, but there’s a smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. “You are so going to hell again,” says Sam.

Dean laughs. “Yeah, probably.”

9

Umm have you guys noticed that when Alex kisses Maggie, they both tilt left, but when Maggie kisses Alex, they tilt right? Then after V-day, they both know to go left? In other words they found their sweet spot just like a real life couple because they’ve kissed enough times to know what works and everyone knows you don’t go the other way once you’ve found it and in conclusion alex and maggie equal true love’s kiss and I’ve spent too much time thinking about this

Only one can have the girl.

Originally posted by everythingtythan

loud blue boi vs. stoneface… who’s going to win?


As the new girl on the team, you were still unsure about how the team feels about you yet. You always wanted to make a great first impression with everyone and you did! The minute you first walked through those doors, Tyler and Ethan were both amazed by you. To them, you were their perfect dream girl, Tyler fell in love with your kindness and team attitude since you came in with a big smile and helped the team with anything they needed while also keeping everyone motivated during long editing session but Ethan fell in love with your silliness and energy since you were a ball of energy and have a child-like mind sometimes with you being the youngest.  The two boys have been fighting for your attention ever since you’ve started working there and honestly, you didn’t really notice. When you had a hard time grabbing things off the shelves, they would both fight to grab it for you until Kathryn or Amy gets it for you when you’re about to go grab lunch for the team, they both try to tag along but you don’t mind it.

“Tyler, I should date her because you know SHE’S CLOSER TO MY AGE!” “Ethan, I liked her before you even laid eyes on her!” “WE SAW HER AT THE SAME TIME!” “GUYS, you do know..” “STAY OUT OF IT MARK!”  Tyler and Ethan have been at each other throat all week about who’s going to date you. “[Y/N] and I have a lot more in common than you two together!“ "Cartwheeling ISN’T A BONDING!” “What’s with all the yelling?” you laughed when you walked in. “Hey [Y/N]! Ready to start filming today’s challenge?” Mark hopped over to you, dragging you to the backyard area, “What challenge?” you stated confusingly. 

“MARK, I DON’T LIKE THIS CHALLENGE!!” you tried to hide from the arrows, “IF YOU WANT TO WORK WITH US, YOU HAVE TO TAKE SOME ARROWS.” He shot one almost hitting you. “MARK! I’M JUST AN EDITOR! I SHOULD BE EDITING!” you hid behind a tree, “SO IS ETHAN BUT HE STILL TAKE SOME HITS!” he shot one at Ethan’s chest for an example, “GOD DAMNIT, MARK!” “SEE!” “SORRY, ETHAN!” you shouted from the tree.  You climbed up the tree since you didn’t want to get hit what so ever, but Mark wasn’t going to give up that easily, “THAT’S CHEATING!” he shot an arrow, almost hitting you. “MARK! I HAVE A LOT OF EDITING TO DO!” he ignores you and continue shooting until he hit your knee causing you fall off the tree but luckily your strong friend caught you in his arms, “Thanks, Tyler.” You smiled and hopped out of his arms.  “Now, when I say stop Mark…” you walked up to him and grabbed the arrow and bow, “I mean stop. I suggest you should run.” You hissed before pulling the arrow back.

After spending another hour of attacking Mark, all when back to the house and decided to chill there for the night. You were listening to your music when you heard loud whispering from your door and it has gotten to the point that you just couldn’t take it anymore so you open the door seeing Ethan and Tyler arguing. “What’s going on!” you asked seeing the boys look at you by surprise.  "WOULD YOU GO ON A DATE WITH ME!?“ They both yelled while pushing each other out their way. Your face turns red and laughs nervously, "Umm… well, you guys…” “I understand if you don’t wanna go out with a caveman, [Y/N]. I know I wouldn’t.” Ethan stopped you giving Tyler a death stare. You stopped them from bickering with a whistle, “GUYS!” you sighed with your face in your hand. “I’m not really interested… like that.” You mumbled. They gave you a confused look so you continue, “I’m into girls and I’m seeing someone sorta.” You explained. They both look at each other amazed, “I didn’t see that coming.” Ethan started laughing and Tyler joined along, “Oh my God. We were fighting all week about this and she didn’t even like us like that!” you smiled at the two boys bonding with each other, “So who are you dating?” Tyler added. “Me!” the boys turned around see Kathryn waving at them, “WHAT?” you walked over to your girlfriend and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “We’re trying to keep it on the down-low for a while so the fans wouldn’t freak out about it but yeah, we’re dating!” you explained, “But thanks for helping me today with editing and filming the challenge!” you added. The boys were silent and still processing the whole thing, “I think they need a while, let’s go to the movies so they can process this.” Kathryn whispered to you. You nodded and walked out hand and hand giggling.

“I was trying to tell you she was a lesbian!” Mark walked passed them, shaking his head, “BUT NO ONE LISTEN WANTS TO MARK!”


Originally posted by teamiplier-tothemoon-andback

PLOT TWIST! IT’S A KATHRYN X FEM!READER! I actually had this idea in my head for quite a while and the original concept was going to be a new neighbor instead of a new team member but I had writer block with the neighbor one so here’s this one. I’m sorry it was shorter than usual and it’s probably not my best work but I wanted to try something new just like the Father Figure Tyler one that actually received a lot of positive reviews and I’m glad everyone like it! Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed and I’ll see y’all later!

Nerdsitting

Tagging time! As well as explaining what the heck I’m doing with this mess of a fanfiction! Yeah!

@vizivoir, Special delivery! (They asked to be tagged so as not to miss it, and tagged they will be!) 

@sugarandmemories, I may or may not have borrowed your Melvin’s insomnia, neglectful parents ((Yeah, guys. In the books, they actually were there, they just didn’t pay much attention to him. He even switches off the “Dramatic Effects” on the Combine-o-Tron so as not to wake them up.)), and slight eating disorder. Ahaha..the chance was too good to pass up.  Please don’t sue. :) ;)

As for what I’m doing, I don’t really know. It’s fluff. It has George and Harold subliminally taking care of Melvin…you know, making him eat something, cheering him up when he’s down, getting him off that good ol’ polyphastic sleep schedule. Ergo, Nerdsitting. Enjoy!

Melvin Sneedly had just wanted to pick up the latest issue of Scientific American at the Hobnobs Comix Shop downtown before the quality deteriorated or the magazines sold out. Was that so hard to ask?

Apparently, according to the universe, it was.

When a bald, portly man wearing nothing but his underwear and a red polka-dotted cape fell out of the sky and dropped to one knee, Melvin completely lost his train of thought and instead decided to take a tentative step back. On the man’s back, two of the more mischievous students in his class beamed back at him, giving a polite wave.

“Hey, Melvin!” George chimed.

“Do you always greet people this way?” He wheezed, slamming one hand to his chest in shock.

“What, ‘Hey’ and then his name? Dude, is this a trick question?” Harold said softly, tugging George’s shirt.

“I think he means on the back of a superhero wearing nothing but his underwear and a polka-dotted red cape.” the boy responded. Climbing off, he gestured regally to the caped crusader, followed closely by his best friend.

“Melvin, this is Captain Underpants. You may remember him from that time you tried to rid the entire school of laughter.” George said. Captain Underpants stood up and gave a happy “thumbs-up” at his cue.

“Anyway. We thought we’d stop by. Didn’t think we’d see you at the comic store! What’cha getting?” Harold added.

Taking another step back, Melvin clutched the strap of his backpack instinctively before responding.

“I was just going to see if I could acquire the latest copy of Scientific American before it sold out…but now, I think I’ll go home and take my chances tomorrow.”

“Ah, that’s a shame, young nemesis,” Captain Underpants chimed in, “For my amiable sidekicks and I might provide delightful company in your education! Why, they themselves have documented several episodes of my life in this praiseworthy format!”

“You mean the comic books they sell on the playground, in which I tend to be frequently incriminated as some sort of nerdy villain against laughter?”

“Sidekicks! You didn’t tell me that you knew the one and only Anti-Humor boy personally!” he gasped excitedly. “Will you sign my cape?” he said to Melvin with a slight bounce.

Melvin shrugged and produced a black Sharpie from his pocket, much to the delight of the hero. Walking around him, he wrote out “Anti-Humor boy” in his careful cursive, then patted the delighted captain on his back.

“Now, off to Dumb Stupid Nerd Jail for you!” he cheered, hooking his fingers into the startled scientist’s neckband.

“Captain Underpants! Melvin…received time off for good behavior! He’s totally cool now!” George blurted in a panic, pressing the side of his sneaker into his ample stomach as if he were trying to stop a wild colt. To Melvin, he added, “Sorry, man. You..wanna come hang out with us for a while? We have a tree house!”

“It’s a pretty cool tree house.” Harold added, cracking a grin.

“Ummm…yeah, I still think I’ll pass. Call me again when I’m in the mood for getting made fun of for a full hour or two.” he said, walking off.

“Aww, Melvin, don’t be like that! Isn’t your house like, two miles away, anyway? We can totally give you a ride to the amazing Tree House Comix Inc., you can chill with us, spend a few hours playing Tetris or drawing nerd comics or something, and then we could take you back home!” Harold explained, hastily putting brown, white, and light orange button-eyed socks on his hands and right foot respectively to illustrate his vision. (The tangerine sock, Melvin noted, even sported a sported a tiny black bow tie and ginger woolen hair.)

“Or,” he continued as George gave Melvin a look that seemed to reveal that Harold had drawn out points with improvised sock puppetry before, “You could get your magazine and go back home.” The light orange sock puppet, to Melvin’s amusement, switched places with Harold, tucked a tiny bubblegum comic that he supposed was supposed to be the four hundred and fifty-third issue of Scientific American under his cotton arm and left, leaving sock puppet George and Harold giving each other blank expressions.

“You’d want to read it as soon as possible, but put it in your bag so you wouldn’t walk in front of a bus or something, and then you’d walk two sad endless miles without a friend, sadly listening to-you were listening to music, right?-sad music as you trudged home. Sadly.”

To emphasize this point, Harold took an extra few steps away from Captain Underpants for some unknown reason, then poured a miniature watering can over a dejected sock puppet Melvin, accompanied by a melancholy classical tune from his phone.

“And then you’d get home,”

The music stopped and the watering can was thrown to the side.

“Read the magazine, and die of sadness and boredom, and that’s why you need to hang out with us and have a ton of fun today!”

Melvin smiled slightly and shook his sock puppet counterpart’s hand.

“Deal.”

Keep reading

Nah.

Prompts: #160 “You win!”
                 #179 “Kiss me. Right here, right now.”
Pairing: Archie x Reader
Word Count: 565
Requested: Yes, by @sophiiemead


Archie!” I giggled. “What babe?” I rolled my eyes at the adorable sweaty redhead holding me. We were playing football outside, which really just ended up being us two chasing each other. I breathlessly caught up to him and attempted to tackle him but he put me over his shoulder with ease. I knew he was smirking. 

Why’d you do that? I wanted to tackle you to the ground” I nasally whined at him. He shook his head, “Sorry, not sorry, but, no, you’re just not strong enough to do that.” This irritated me, not because it rude or mean, because I knew I was weak, I was irritated because whenever someone tells me not whatever enough to do something, I really want to prove that person wrong.

I huffed and squirmed until Archie was unable to hold me, which he then placed me gently onto the grass. I got up, gave myself a running head start, stretched a little bit, popped my neck and back, and charged towards him, hoping to prove him wrong.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Nikki I can't deal. I'm the anon whose crush said she reminds her of Chloe. And today we were texting and she was talking about how she's planning a cosplay of Max and how I should be her Chloe. And i texted my friend freaking out and she was like "aww you guys are such a cute couple. I'm jealous." And just what?!?!? I mean like sure we hang out a lot. We get coffee and eat dinner together and she took me to see wonder woman. But like.. those were just 2 friends hanging out right?? (1/2)

But then my friend was like “umm.. you guys literally never shut up about each other and you’re always holding hands?? And you buy each other cute gifts just bc.” And I’m like …okay yes that all happens but you’re totally twisting things around. And I text my crush and I’m like “people think we’re dating???” And she’s like “bc we are??? We have been for 3 weeks, babe.” And so yeah I um… apparently have a super cute gf who I haven’t kissed yet bc I “gal pal”-ed myself. (2/2)

omg??? Dam ya better get to the kissing??? Chop chop lets go smooch smooch

Life Is Strange

so me and my boyfriend are playing Life Is Strange on his PS4 and I mentioned it being kind of popular lesbian stuff and he just looked at me all confused like: whaat what lesbian there are none… wait you mean Chloe and Max… they are friends..umm but they are cute…ummmmmm I don’t know Kate.

*3 hours later*

Chloe: If you’re hardcore then kiss me Max 
choice one: Kiss Chloe                      
choice two: don’t kiss Chloe

me: ooooh yeeesss finally
boyfriend looks at me grinning while I laugh and try to steal the controller from him: ooooooooookaaay you were right *he himself hits option one* 

both: awwwwwwwwwww 
both: 

Originally posted by goldenfluffy